/lit/ - Literature

positivity

I want to leave my shithole

>>18412944
same

Dude, just letting go of toxic women and not thinking twice about it is so freeing. Good luck next guy

>>18412956
Started learning coding and maths on my own
Hoping I can create a good portfolio to get a job outside

I want love

Imagine "knowing" what you want
Yea go ahead and marry your highschool girlfriend and never leave your hometown, have a nice midlife crisis by the time youre not even 40

>>18413009
What?

>>18413014
some anon hit their mental limit and going off on some projection cope, it’s normal around here

>>18412944
>>18412956
describe said shitholes

I want to ride a tank past the parliament in a coup d'etat attempt while we fly the old feudal flag from it. Fuck this impotent joke of a republic.

>>18413009
I would rather be a normalfag for 20 years than be a 4channer for 60 (or until an hero)

>>18413023
>>18413009
you're hitting your insecurity limit if you're jumping into a conversation between other anons and screaming projection and carrying it to another thread. probably normal in your own life. rent free.

>>18413014
A lot of people are giving advice saying " do what you feel like doing"/"do what makes you happy" to people who are in their early 20s.
If someone says that to me i imagine someone stuck in life. If i was gonna pursuit a life of nothing but happiness i would just start doing heroin.

>>18413023
This but ironically

>>18413036
filthy apartment with leaky windows and a lot of traffic, every minute 3 trams travel here and it is etremly loud. shithole, all I wanted was my peace. I would move out right here if I didn't owe a utility bill. fuck that shit

>>18413039
France?

>>18413036
Slightly pink, little hemorrhoid on the edge

>>18413051
Would fit too, but if it had been France I would have written about the Elysee palace instead of the parliament.

just so "you" know that i'm not this >>18413053 anon, i'm the other one with the ass problems.

>>18413050
and this is me too

>>18413046
buddy, who’s screaming? it’s gonna be ok lil guy lmao

>>18413047
>If i was gonna pursuit a life of nothing but happiness i would just start doing heroin
This is a deliberate misreading of what people mean when they say stuff like that

>>18413109
I know it is, i just hate the usage of the word happiness in that context
A better term would be fulfilling, which doesnt imply a rusty needle

Failing to find personal meaning in life really crippled me so much that i'm still in complete wreck.

>>18413135
how many things have to tried
and do you go outside?

I came offering a truce.... Of love

>>18412928
These OP images aren't funny stop forcing your shit

>>18413180
It wasn't meant to be funny, come down

>>18413180
watch this 15 sorting algorithms , that's funny.
if i wanted to be funny i would show you that, but the ducks are meant to be serious


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPRA0W1kECg

>>18413145
i tried various activities back in HS like basketball, chess, chorus singing, solo singing, drawing, acting and etc but nothing stuck. then i put all my eggs into INT basket and worked my ass off in the last years of HS and i genuinely thought of UNI as a place for a fresh beginning. Sadly, i was shown how stupid i was and uni was just a highschool on steroids. I didnt dropout and somehow managed to the degree while hating it with all my heart. I just sort of gave up on life completely and became neet at parents place (5 years in 2 months). Every decision i took ended up being a complete mistake.

I hate myself

>>18413267
Welcome to the club

>>18413267
omg now comes the whining again, why don't you stop???

what is with you???

I just don't get it...

>>18413267
I think you just want attention ... that's kind of selfish but not that bad, there you have it ...

>>18412928
Language is a car. Words are routes. Ideas are destinations.

>>18413267
>gib attention :3

>>18413293
errr in that case words would be THE CAR and language would be the route! you're traveling through the language using words! dumbo

>>18413009
Sounds like a cope. God i wish I lived like that. I'm so miserable being born and raised an urbanite. I'm in my 20s and having a life crisis.

>>18413280
>whines that people post what's on their mind
Check your privilege mate

>>18413318
not bad, I also thought of that when I posted it, but it doesn't make any sense, I've given up the overthinking :D

Sliced cucumber instead of rice for sushi is so fucking based. Good fuck

>>18413047
Herion wont make you happy. It will give you fleeting pleasure but that certainly isn't happiness nor would it be any reasonable persons life goal. Thats such an absurd comparison.
For comparison, I knew college wouldn't make me happy, and after arriving there and spending time there I was absolutely certain that it wasn't going to make me happy. But people in my life told me a whole load of bullshit about how college isn't supposed to be a thing you do for enjoyment so just suck it up and get through it. Listening to that was shit advice. Now i'm fucking miserable. There were a wide variery of options available to me that would have made me happy, but I didn't pursue them because I was under the impression that happiness is irrelevant. Fucking stupid worldview

Right lads I've got myself into a little conundrum with reading and I need some guidance and that. I've hit a sort of wall and I really do not feel like reading any of the books I've got that still haven't been read, there's 10 of them, and I feel like one way to sort this would to buy a few more that I really, really want to read like right fuckin now, and mix those in with what I've got now. However, at the start of the year I'd promised myself not to buy a single book until I'd finished the 40+ that I had, that I had were unread at the beginning of 2021, so yeh. What should I do fellas?

>>18413305
I disagree. Language is a tool you internalize as a child and learn to use without effort. Words are symbols that your brain recognizes and use to navigate to some conceptual destination. There are infinitely many combinations of words signifying the infinitude of potential ideas, and the same is true for roads and destinations. On the other hand, language is something that we cannot modify and alter at will. Its rules are set, and only accommodate the agreed upon set of perceptive triggers (alphabet and other symbols) just as a car was designed to travel on many different roads.

>>18413353
Take a break and read sone genre fiction. I got bored of all my philosophy and read Crichton for a break. Was good

>>18413310
Is there such thing as life without cope? I don’t think so. It’s all cope, but some are more aware of it than others.
Prove me wrong.

Why can't we use italics and boldface in our posts like on /qst/??? Having italics would be very nice, especially on a literature board

>>18413372
I can't prove you wrong because you are correct

>>18412928
2D women!

>>18413267
accept this hug, anon

>>18413267
No, you hate the false image you have of yourself.

>>18413335
All i can tell you now is: dont get into heroin

>>18413360
ok i understand the way you look at it.

>>18413372
Replace the word ‘cope’ with ‘finding purpose’. The latter allows for fulfillment through personal responsibility, whereas the former is loaded spite towards a life that did not hand purpose to you on a silver platter.

>>18413491
>Replace the word ‘cope’ with ‘finding purpose’.
This is a cope

>>18413372
life is one giant cope. when you realise this and stop coping it's called enlightenment. except it's almost impossible to stop coping.

>>18413491
fulfillment through personal responsibility is a cope

How to get away from Industrial society, in the most realistic sense?

>property owners always raise the rent after a year
>they know most renters won't bother to move again and just accept the deal
>owner does the same thing to me
>say I don't accept and I'll be moving within the next 30 days
>face shows mild surprise but he just says okay
>~3 weeks later
>he calls me early in the morning and tells me it's okay, we can keep the initial price for another 6 months
>leave the apartment out of spite anyway
>fast forward 11 months later (1 week ago)
>in my second apartment
>already know what's coming
>search for a couple nice apartments
>tell owner that my "uncle" has his own apartment and will let me stay there, so I'm leaving in a few months
>obvious worry in her face since my apartment is probably more than 1/3rd of her income
>tell her I prefer her apartment to my uncle's, but I can't afford it
>rings my bell yesterday
>tells me if I would stay here if she were to cut my rent by X amount -it's about 15% reduction-
I NEVER thought it could possibly work. I was trying to suppress a smug smile while she was talking to me. I'm not a commie or anything but GOD do I hate rentiers so damn much. If you want money get your fat ass outside and work you absolute vermins. GOD I am so happy.
Btw I'll be pouring cooking oil down the drain before I leave this apartment.

>>18413545
you don't want to

>>18413353
Take one book off the shelf and read it all the way through. Try not to worry that you're not getting the most out of it and focus on reading through it as if watching a tv show.
Pack the other books away so this is the only one, and read a chapter a day until you finish it.

>>18413424
not him but thanks
>>18413491
They shit on you but you're correct.

>>18413555
uhhhh, I kinda do.
I want to connect with the soil in which my ancestor's fought for Reconquista. I know of my noble blood, and I want to get away from these execrable people who wallow in their puerility; the bourgeois-liberal type. I want to speak with God-fearing people (however, I'm not a Christian, for now anyway).
I want this, but it feels so far away...

>>18413500
>>18413496
Cope means to “deal effectively with something difficult”. Or in the way it’s commonly used here it suggests some kind of blinded self-delusion on the part of people who try to pull together scraps of meaning in a supposedly meaningless existence. Well, then. How do you know if anything is an illusion or self-deception or not? What seems to you like an objective truth (Life is meaningless) is a conclusion that you’ve come to based on your unique set of experiences. As a human being, your experience is partial and all your truths and default inclinations are flawed by definition, at least with respect to some capital-T Truth that might exist out there (but I doubt it). Nothing in existence has value except for what we give it, so why load your interpretation of life with something negative, rather than just neutral or positive? To say that life is ‘cope’ is just as deluded as saying that life is ‘a beautiful dream’. It’s just a matter of us humans speaking from our emotional state and applying it wholesale to a world that has no responsibility to acquiesce to our desires. You could always one up me and say that the above world salad is a cope, man! but if you try to consider things from a different perspective, wonder what it’s like beyond the screen of our consciousness, it can be more open-ended than that.

>>18412928
I feel like trash and wish someone would take me out already.

God what a worthless life I lead.

>>18412928

Thinking about how if i could stay sober I'd be able to get a lot more done. Wasted a lot of life in bars and living rooms without much to show for it. Learned how to socialize but not on any real level. Switching jobs in a month and the new one comes with a pay increase and a lot more responsibility. Going to try to take this month to get good sober habits. No way i'll be able to keep the new job showing up hungover and on little sleep like I do 3-4 times a week at my current one. Maybe I'll finally get around to reading one of the books I pretend to have read on here.

>>18413553
I hate my landlord too, i've taken to leaving my shower and faucets running at all hours since the landlord pays the water bills.

>>18413491
what makes that a cope is that purpose wont be achieved. there is only momentary goodness to live for

>>18412928
BRAIN JANNIES DO IT FOR FREE
THEY PICK NEURONS TO ACTIVATE THEN GET MAD
AND THEY DO IT FOR FREE

It was not part of their gender,
It came to them in heat
With hard cocks to make tender
When the Jannie began to delete.

They were not easily pleased,
They were bitchy -- willing to beat
Till every post should be squeezed,
Ere the Jannie began to delete.

Their voices were manly and low.
Their eyes 'neath brow meat.
There was neither sign nor show
When the Jannie began to delete.

It was not preached to the surgeon.
It was not taught by the tweet.
No man called them a virgin
When the Jannie began to delete.

It was not biologically bred.
It will not care for feet.
Through the dead board ahead,
When they shall cut off their meat
That the Jannie began to delete.

>>18413553
>>18413644
Yeh, I'm thinking based

>>18413334
damn noted. rice is really good tho, can i do both?
>>18413375
especially when writing and poetry is posted here and sometimes italics make a world of difference.
>>18413636
same. how meaningless would it be if i said give your self to beauty?
>>18413639
i was thinking the exact opposite. im gonna try reading drunk today.
>>18412985
*gives you it*
>>18413609
dont romanticize what you dont know

>>18412985
I want anime armpits

Let's do something fun, /WONYM/. I feel like some of us need some motivation to write, or practice our skills. So let's have a little contest!

Short story, 3k words minimum. Since this is the first time, let's do something simple for the topic.

Fantasy! It can be high, low, maybe the only thing fantasy like about it is eleves having a tea party. As long as it's fantasy, it's on topic.

Submissions can just be linked in to response to this post, and I'll take them in any format, pastebin, google docs, etc.

I'll stop taking submission in two weeks, or the 22nd and the next day I'll declare a winner.

Winner gets let's say... Ten dollars? Small incentive but hey I ain't made of money.

Let's have fun!!!

>>18413731
>same. how meaningless would it be if i said give your self to beauty?
What beauty is there left? Certainly none in me. Doubtfully any out there.

>trying to monopolize the OP
I am boycotting your threads, fag

>>18413609
Go work on a farm or something then

I’ve been told that young writers shouldn’t even bother with novels but should instead cut their teeth in short stories. What do you think about that?

>>18413793
It's very typical advice, and there's some merit to it. But writing a novel and writing a short story are two very different tasks.

I don’t even know what I desire anymore. It feels like any and all earthly pleasures no longer stimulate me. That everything that once brought me joy is now just a simulation of what could be and thus is a disappointment. Food is bland. Cumming is just a release. Friends talk of nothing interesting. Family talk only of money. The world has become copies of the same small town over and over again. I feel trapped. Not just in this body, in this room, in this house, in this city, in this state, in this country, on this planet, but I feel like I could rip my face off and be transported to beyond reality. I hate it here. I hate my anxieties. I hate my depression. I hate the what if’s and the what could be’s. I hate what I’ve done and what I’ll never do. I hate that after the physical pleasures stopped I continued to seek the pleasures of the arts and literature to no avail and then to the philosophical. I hate how desperately I need a job because starting my own business has been a failure. I hate the six figures of debt I’m in from law school. I want to put a bullet in my brain but I’m too much a coward. It all feels so aimless. So pointless. So repetitive. Is this all there is? This is the extent of the human condition? Knowledge was a mistake.

>>18413684
Based rudyardposter

>>18413731
>dont romanticize what you dont know
but I have spent alot of time in the rural part of my country, it's that I don't see any prospects of getting away from the urbanite area in the coming times.
>>18413788
I have thought of that... But then it comes to me that I'd just be contributing to more soil polution via industrial chemicals.

I truly feel like shit, but I appreciate the (You)'s...

Im reading through Hobsbawm right now, and I'm curious about his use of the word 'proletariat' - I'm not very familiar with Marx's original outline in works like the Critique of the Gotha Programme, only having a third-hand sort of understanding. At one point, Hobsbawm notes that 'proletariat' is a misnomer for the "aggregate of mostly hired, but non-industrial, wage-earners" during the French Revolution. Is this the case? I know about the lumpen, vaguely, but I'm not sure I understand the distinction implied by the text - is the agrarian/urban dichotomized throughout Marx? Can anybody help me out?

>>18413847
>But then it comes to me that I'd just be contributing to more soil polution via industrial chemicals
How about a small permaculture farm? But then you'd be surrounded by hippies, which I'm sure you find unacceptable

>but I have spent alot of time in the rural part of my country
There is a big difference between visiting a place, even for a long period if time, and living there.

Having sex with a prostitute was an eye opening experience that allowed me to put aside some of the hate I used to harbor towards women.

>>18414086
No one is subbing to your onlyfans whore.

>>18414092
It wasn't bait. I'm just a regular dude.

>>18414050
>How about a small permaculture farm?
Sounds comfy, but I'd need to get more money... much more.
>But then you'd be surrounded by hippies, which I'm sure you find unacceptable
lol, yeah, but there aren't many of them here in Portugal.
>There is a big difference between visiting a place, even for a long period if time, and living there.
Yes, yes, I suppose so. But anything other than the capital oriented people is better for me, at this point.

>>18413609
>I know of my noble blood
your noble blood isn't worth shit mate, it's your own character qualities and achievements that count in the world and in this life, it is time you knew this. you think you're better than the next guy because you have "noble blood" (i have "noble blood" too) but but in reality you are a social failure latching onto the last thing that gives you a semblance of self-esteem. stop perceiving worth in things that are objectively worthless, it's cope.

>>18414109
How about shut the fuck up

>>18414110
Tell us anon, what things in this world are worthwhile?

>>18414125
what you have to contribute to this world through your own decisive power of will, who YOU proactively are as a person, determines the quality of your actions in this society and this world. it is inconsequential who your great-great-great-grandfather was.

>>18413437
what false image?

>>18414159
But who am I if my conscious simply acts the will of my unconscious.

>>18414110
>your noble blood isn't worth shit mate
well yeah in the modern age
>it's your own character qualities and achievements that count in the world and in this life
not really, it's mostly if you have the right connections with friends and family - nobody cares about merit or virtue, only material wealth.
>you are a social failure
not really, you projecting your inner feels? boo-hoo
>stop perceiving worth in things that are objectively worthless
Ancestry, Religion and Health are worthless? what a bugman you are
>>18414116
seethe

>>18412928
Trying to believe that God is All, but then, why am I so sad and bored? How to I reach true happiness?

>>18414180
it's not your real image, it's just a imagination, a projection. you can be what you want and do what you want but most people prefer to make themselves smaller than they are. It depends on what you think of yourself, you can think anything you want, but most have been bewitched, so to speak, they have been deliberately made sick and their thinking is restricted 100%, like a curse. "I always say, fuck that shit, do what you want" but unfortunately it doesn't work, people have to go through hell themselves until they understand what I mean.

you can tell a person what you want he will not change because of it, he has to break the spell by himself. wake up fucking neo...

>>18413817
Damn, not even one (you). I'm sorry I became one of those sad sacks, /lit/.

>>18413267
Same
as in, i hate you too

>>18414265
"god" has nothing to do with our superficial mood swings, it is a metaphysical concept that explains the underlying universal truths behind our experience of reality, the rational conclusion we drive from the knowledge of god is not "god real = :) monkey happy all the time"

I wish I simply went back to manual labor or working in a bar and restaurant the moment I finished my degree. What a waste of time.

>>18414299
if that's any consolation, i wanted to (you) you when i read your post, but then i didn't, because i got distracted. sorry, i guess.

>>18414305
fair enough. thank you for your sober response.

a few days ago I was in an outdoors cafe and someone walked by helping their about 1 year old. and the kid was curious and looked at me. I was able to give that child a genuine smile in return. that felt good.

>>18414317
what you have to understand though is that God is supremely loving. an enormous part of believing in God is trusting this. Things *are* alright. There's a poem by Rumi about how in the end you will be as a baby and God will take your chubby little body and your feet and tuck them in His arms. Every change is a return to God, therefore seen in the correct way every change is good.
it helps if you believe in an afterlife.

I am completely repulsed by sex. The thought of it, with a man or woman, is sickening. Most likely my brain was warped by exposure to pornography at a relatively young age, but I associate sex solely with hate, despair and disgust. I could never have sex with someone I loved. I have no interest in being in relationships anyway, so I don't care that much. But these days I feel so disgusted, sometimes so sick that I lose my appetite, when I see or hear about sex, and how nonchalantly everyone talks about it, as if it is cool, and just like totally normal man, and not one of the most repulsive acts a human can engage in. Also, mainstream feminists embracement of sexual liberation as somehow a way to make women free or powerful is totally backwards. The truly free woman (and man) in the 21st century is solitary, celibate, silent, eremitic, austere, alone, cold.

>>18414355
damn i was exposed to violent pornography at a relatively young age (an experience i'd like to erase from my memory) but i do love sex. i think you actually are what people call "asexual". ever thought about it? btw this is not to scare you and it might be completely false, but if you are so inherently sex-repulsed, DISGUSTED, without any explanation, you might have suffered a sexual trauma that you have repressed and do not remember.

>>18414355

Indeed, motherhood is just "low vibration" prostitution. Previously:

>>>/lit/thread/S18390918#p18392011
>I yearn to read the first feminist text. One would expect to enter a figurative nunnery, a sorority, a women's bathroom, instead one finds himself in a literal brothel when reading what currently masquerades as feminism: it is simply literature written by women for men, for men to read, for men to understand, for men to manifest. How women allegedly treat, or should treat, each other in men's absence has no Epistemological foundation and is merely contingent on how men treat women, the most benign man-to-woman input automatically has Apocalyptic significance. There is literally no thesis pertaining to womanhood alone, which does not even exist therein, except, or course, as didactic performance for men. Worst still, the more contingent on men a role is, the more it is consecrated as "purely feminine", prostitution and motherhood and such being the apotheosis of this "feminism"; neither from woman nor from woman and man, but from man alone, and proudly TO man alone as well: a list of desires the wife has impotently prepared for her husband. If you need any proof that man and woman are not complementary halves of a Divine whole but abominable inversions of a Demiurgic rupture, look no further.

>start posting story on spacebattles
>threads are updated so fast I frequently get bumped off into oblivion
>forbet about doing staggered releases and just dump the backlog as fast as I can
>only a meager following but no comments or anything
At least I had a few readers cross over to read it on RR, I guess.

>>18414355
The only thing worse than a sex-haver is a vocal non-sex-haver. Like, is this your entire identity?

>>18414382
>Indeed, motherhood is just "low vibration" prostitution.
I feel like when I laugh at things like this, it desensitizes me in a way that takes me further away from normies

>>18414382
>Worst still, the more contingent on men a role is, the more it is consecrated as "purely feminine", prostitution and motherhood and such being the apotheosis of this "feminism"
kek this is bs and really hilarious because prostitution is not purely feminine, if you know a bit the history of prostitution (which i do), male prostitution, especially gay male prostitution and crossdressing male was always absolutely RAMPANT historically and geographically.

>>18414414
why so angry friendo?

>>18414442
*crossdressing male prostitution

>>18413799
Exactly. So if someone’s aspiration is to ultimately write novels, why then should they not just simply focus on that from the beginning?

i really can't imagine being in such a schizophrenic state of detachment from reality that i am driven to conscious conclusions such as "sex is pure hate and anger and you should never do it with someone you love" followed by "natural reproduction, loving and raising a baby to become a person, equates to selling your ass to random strangers for money". but hey i am on 4chan, i forget.

>>18414443
I'm just baffled by such inane drivel. 'My psychosexual disgust' this and 'haunted by inadequacy' that. It's so turgid and trite, don't you think?

>>18414519
it's ok anon was touched as a child. leave him alone

I'm alone, lost and ashamed. There's nothing interesting to say about myself, nobody would care if I died, nobody would remember me.
I guess that's the saddest thing about my life, not that my death will cause people I know to grieve but that nobody will remember anything about me, I'll just be a corpse to clean up.

This might sound strange friends but I don't understand beans. Like the thing you find in a supermarket. Pinto. Lima. Kidney. Every time I see beans I'm just confused.
Can you eat them raw? Are they dangerous? Why are there so many different kinds of beans? Is it like apples where they just taste a little different, or are they dangerous canned creations that will steal my soul if I bite into it?
Beans. I just don't understand.

>>18414378
Yeah, I have thought about asexuality. I guess the label fits, but I would never identify myself as that. Also, when I was young, an older cousin of mine made me suck his dick and tried to fuck me, so yeah that is probably why. I didn't initially feel so repulsed though, it only started when I was about 16.
>>18414414
No, I never talk about this in real life, I just wanted to rant on the "what's on your mind" thread on 4chan's anonymous literature board.
>>18414467
kek, this made me laugh. If you are a feminist though, which I'm sure you aren't, you should equate those things as callous use of women's biological function. Sex, prostituion, pregnancy and motherhood, some of the cornerstones of contemporary feminism, all exist in relationship to men, and not as truly "female" or feminine. And so, the only way for a woman to reject them all is to reject her biology.
>>18414519
who are you quoting
>>18414524
kek

>>18413214
getting the degree then neeting for half a decade, big respect. how do your folks deal with it?

>>18413180
I prefer the ducks over anime images.

Some nights ago I dreamed about a girl spooning tartar sauce onto her crotch. This sounds provocative, but I was frightened. Later we stood in a lightless room. She drew ever near me, bringing a cold finger to my lips. I woke up.

This is possibly the best thread/general on lit. I feel people here are thousand times more honest and sincere in comparison with the average thread were suddenly everone becomes a pseud.

As deep drinketh the goose as the gander
What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander

The idea that to stay sane we have to stay busy is becoming harder to argue against the older I get. But what the fuck it's kind of tragic in a way.

More than 100 billion bananas are eaten every year in the world, making them the fourth most popular agricultural product.

>>18413817
From one person to another, you are loved. I don't know how much good that will do you, but you absolutely deserve compassion and I hope you can make your way out of this dark place.

>>18414714
banana

I have a final for my enterprise infrastructure graduate course due at 9PM CST
I have to write two 600 word memos in response to my choice of two of the given questions.
Almost all of the assignments in this class were writing assignments. I didn’t actually have to learn any of the lecture material.
Why would they do this? Not that I am complaining, but I expected grad school to be more challenging. I have hardly lifted a finger in the past year and have gotten 5 As and 1 C

>>18413817
Anon, have you read Crime and Punishment?

>>18412928
Nigger faggot, nigger faggot, yeah yeah. Nigger faggooot, niggeeerrr faggot

>>18414556
>Also, when I was young, an older cousin of mine made me suck his dick and tried to fuck me, so yeah that is probably why. I didn't initially feel so repulsed though, it only started when I was about 16.

this is usually the one factor that explains visceral revulsion to sex, and yes, it is normal for the disgust to begin later, when you are in a more grown-up and conscious state. the brain needs time to interpret what happened. while it is a perfectly natural psychological reaction to childhood/teenage sexual abuse, it is also a reaction that intrinsically stems of response to trauma, even if we can try to rationalise and intellectually justify it. now i'm not saying you can or should change how you feel but it is good to take into account when constructing your worldview, that people naturally do not view sexual intimacy like that, and it CAN be an act of proximity/intimacy/love/pleasure/affection/communication, in fact this is the healthy version of sex. while it may be used in degrading, horrible ways, it is not its inherent nature, so in your place i'd just try not to judge people for liking sex.
this is not the perfect comparison but think of food, food is supposed to be eaten in a healthy, pleasurable way. but a person might have an eating disorder related to food, food itself is not the issue - for an individual with an eating disorder, they will feel like shit whenever food is mentioned or whenever they see food, however their reaction has to do with their personal mental constitution.

>>18414751
stems from response to trauma * sorry

>>18413817
>After experience had taught me that all the things which regularly occur in ordinary life are empty and futile, and I saw that all the things which were the cause or object of my fear had nothing of good or bad in themselves, except insofar as [my] mind was moved by them, I resolved at last to try to find out whether there was anything which would be the true good, capable of communicating itself, and which alone would affect the mind, all others being rejected--whether there was something which, once found and acquired, would continuously give me the greatest joy, to eternity.

>I say that I resolved at--for at first glance it seemed ill-advised to be willing to lose something certain for something then uncertain. I saw, of course, the advantages that honor and wealth bring, and that I would be forced to abstain from seeking them, if I wished to devote myself seriously to something new and different; and if by chance the greatest happiness lay in them, I saw that I should have to do without it. But if it did not lie in them, and I devoted my energies only to acquiring them, then I would equally go without it.

>So I wondered whether perhaps it would be possible to reach my new goal--or at least the certainty of attaining it--without changing the conduct and plan of life which I shared with other men. Often I tried this, but in vain. For most things which present themselves in life, and which, to judge from their actions, men think to be the highest good, may be reduced to these three: wealth, honor, and sensual pleasure. The mind is so distracted by these three that it cannot give the slightest thought to any other good.

>For as far as sensual pleasure is concerned, the mind is so caught up in it, as if at peace in a [true] good, that it is quite prevented from thinking of anything else. But after the enjoyment of sensual pleasure is past, the greatest sadness follows. If this does not completely engross, still it thoroughly confuses and dulls the mind.

>The mind is also distracted not a little by the pursuit of honors and wealth, particularly when the latter is sought only for its own sake, because it is assumed to be the highest good. But the mind is far more distracted by honor. For this is always assumed to be good through itself and the ultimate end toward which everything is directed.

>Nor do honor and wealth have, as sensual pleasure does, repentance as a natural consequence. The more each of these is possessed, the more joy is increased, and hence the more we are spurred on to increase them. But if our hopes should chance to be frustrated, we experience the greatest sadness. And finally, honor has this great disadvantage: to pursue it, we must direct our lives according to other men's powers of understanding--fleeing what they commonly flee and seeking what they commonly seek.

>>18414556

I'm so sorry to hear that happened to you, much love and hope in the future you got this and I believe in you <3

>>18414556
>>18414751
by the way i simply want to add to this that i do have quite severe sexual/relationship trauma, it happened when i was an adult so my psychology wasn't affected that much, but i mean i am not talking out of my ass. i am working on myself and i want live a fulfilling life, i had horrible disgust toward sex for a long time but it went away (not saying it can go away for everyone). being in a relationship still scary to me and in my relationship i have to constantly explain that i feel like shit and paranoid for no reason.

>>18414765
>>18414765
>Since I saw that all of these things stood in the way of my working toward this new goal, indeed were so opposed to it that one or the other must be given up, I was forced to ask what would be more useful to me. For as I say, I seemed to be willing to lose the certain good for the uncertain one. But after I had considered the matter a little, I first found that, if I devoted myself to this new plan of life, and gave up the old, I would be giving up a good by its nature uncertain (as we can clearly infer from what has been said) for one uncertain not by its nature (for I was seeking a permanent good) but only in respect to its attainment.

>By persistent meditation, however, I came to the conclusion that, if only I could resolve, wholeheartedly, [to change my plan of life], I would be giving up certain evils for a certain good. For I saw that I was in the greatest danger, and that I was forced to seek a remedy with all my strength, however uncertain it might be--like a man suffering from a fatal illness, who, foreseeing certain death unless he employs a remedy, is forced to seek it, however uncertain, with all his strength. For all his hope lies there. But all those things men ordinarily strive for, not only provide no remedy to preserve our being, but in fact hinder that preservation, often cause the destruction of those who possess them, and always cause the destruction of those who are possessed by them.

>There are a great many examples of people who have suffered persecution to the death on account of their wealth, or have exposed themselves to so many dangers to acquire wealth that they have at last paid the penalty for their folly with their life. Nor are there fewer examples of people who, to attain or honor, have suffered most miserably. And there are innumerable examples of people who have hastened their death through too much sensual pleasure.

>Furthermore, these evils seemed to have arisen from the fact that all happiness or unhappiness is placed in the quality of the object to which we cling with love. For strife will never arise on account of what is not loved, nor will there be sadness if it perishes, nor envy if it is possessed by another, nor fear, nor hatred--in a word, no disturbances of the mind. Indeed, all these happen only in the love of those things that can perish, as all the things we have just spoken of can do.

>But love toward the eternal and infinite thing feeds the mind with a joy entirely exempt from sadness. This is greatly to be desired, and to be sought with all our strength.

>But not without reason did I use these words 'if only I could resolve in earnest'. For thought I perceived these things [this evil] so clearly in my mind, I still could not, on that account, put aside all greed, desire for sensual pleasure, and love of esteem.

>>18414821
>I saw this, however: that so long as the mind was turned toward these thoughts, it was turned away from those things, and was thinking seriously about the new goal. That was a great comfort to me. For I saw those evils would not refuse to yield to remedies. And although in the beginning these intervals were rare, and last a very short time, nevertheless, after true good became more and more known to me, the intervals became more frequent and longer--especially after I saw that the acquisition of money, sensual pleasure, esteem are only obstacles so long as they are sought for their own sakes, and not as means to other things. But if they are sought as means, then they will have a limit, and will not be obstacles at all. On the contrary, they will be of great use in attaining the end on account of which they are sought, as we shall show in its place.

>Here I shall only say briefly what I understand by the true good, and at the same time, what the highest good is. To understand this properly, it must be noted that good and bad are said of things only in a certain respect, so that one and the same thing can be called both good and bad according to different respects. The same applies to perfect and imperfect. For nothing, considered in its own nature, will be called perfect or imperfect, especially after we have recognized that everything that happens happens according to the eternal order, and according to certain laws of Nature.

>But since human weakness does not grasp that order by its own thought, and meanwhile man conceives a human nature much stronger and more enduring than his own, and at the same time sees that nothing prevents his acquiring such a nature, he is spurred to seek means that will lead him to such a perfection. Whatever can be a means to his attaining it is called a true good; but the highest good is to arrive--together with other individuals if possible--at the enjoyment of such a nature. What that nature is we shall show in its proper place: that it is the knowledge of the union that the mind has with the whole of Nature.

>This, then, is the end that I aim at: to acquire such a nature, and to strive that many acquire it with me. That is, it is part of my happiness to take pains that many others may understand as I understand, so that their intellect and desire agree entirely with my intellect and desire. To do this it is necessary, first, to understand as much of Nature as suffices for acquiring such a nature; next to form a society of the kind that is desirable, so that as many as possible may attain it as easily and surely as possible.

>Third, attention must be paid to Moral Philosophy and to Instruction concerning the Education of children. Because Health is no small means to achieving this end, fourth, the whole of Medicine must be worked out. Because many difficult things are rendered easy by ingenuity, and by it we can gain much time and convenience in life, fifth, Mechanics is in no way to be despised

>>18414714
banana...

>>18414874
>Before anything else we must devise a way of healing the intellect, and purifying it, as much as we can in the beginning, so that it understands things successfully, without error and as well as possible. Everyone will now be able to see that I wish to direct all the sciences toward one end and goal, namely, that we should achieve, as we have said, the highest human perfection. So anything in the sciences which does nothing to advance use toward our goal must be rejected as useless--in a word, all our activities and thoughts are to be directed to this end.

>But while we pursue this end, and devote ourselves to bringing the intellect back to the right path, it is necessary to live. So we are forced, before we do anything, to assume certain rules of living as good:

>1: To speak according to the power of understanding of ordinary people, and do whatever does not interfere with our attaining our purpose. For we can gain a considerable advantage from this, if we yield as much to their understanding as we can. Moreover, in this way, they will give a favorable hearing to the truth.

>2. To enjoy pleasures just so far as suffices for safeguarding our health.

>3. Finally, to seek money, or anything else, just so far as suffices for sustaining life and health, and conforming to those customs of the community that do not conflict with our aim.

Baruch Spinoza
(from the Treatise on the Emendation of the Intellect)

>>18414751
>>18414777
fuck, I am sorry to hear that, and thank you very much for taking the time to explain it to me. You're right that I shouldn't use it as an excuse to judge people for liking sex. It's just easy for me to not think about it and project what happened to me onto my worldview. Honestly, I imagine it's harder to deal with for you since it happened when you were an adult, I can just be angry and bitter while not really thinking about it. But i guess that's the problem.
I feel like my repulsion is only getting worse by the year, so I don't see it ever going away. But I'll keep in mind what you said, that sex can actually be healthy. I have never talked about this anyone ever before, so thank you for listening and responding, it has genuinely helped.
>>18414770
Thanks anon, that honestly means a lot.

I don’t know if it’s the heat, the humidity, the pollen, or what but for the last maybe months or so I just feel like I’m in the twilight zone. I am just tired all the time and even a 15 minute walk leaves me gassed. I don’t want to do anything at all. I need to snap out of this funk and fast but I have no idea how.

can't sleep

I'm a pseud fag hungry for fame

It's all about that E. Maybe you've heard of E. I'm about to going to go going to E right now, you know. You E? No? Well, I E all the time, all day and all night. So much E that I'm addicted to Eeeeeeeuignuirnpuigdi;89120!!!!!msma111111oneeeeeoneEEE. *E's you hard* This is some insane-o, hardcore EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! EIOJFKSM{Dy nhiwur34pjq4rnuhji0 ehu iv feariuhe avgbrbhui0vare hu0diaf re08hudfrv8huaioprhe avufuhi aeh890yu45t3uyho AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Eeeeeeeeee~!!!!!!!! WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA LOLLLLOLOLolulululululullululululuololol0l0l0l0l0l0la0l0al0elelelelleleleel INSANE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHEEWH EHWHWWOW OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOFD!UIHOPO I E all the time, all day and all night. So muc addicted to Eeeeeeeuignuirnpuigdi;89120! I E all the time, much E that I'm addicted to Eeeeeeeuignuirnpuigdi;89120! I E all the time, all day and all night. So much E that I'm addicted to Eeeeeeeuignuirnpuigdi;89120!

Once I'm rich I'm going to buy a large estate and turn it into a commune for chill people. Activities will include maintaining the grounds, gardening and small scale agriculture, calisthenics, and communal vtuber streams.

>>18412928
/lit/ is populated by, for lack of a better word, pseuds. People who want to act sophisticated, the type of person that would go on an anime imageboard to discuss books. The problem is that they aren't actually well-rounded or smart, but they want to act like it, and act in ways that other people like them will immediately recognize, so they essentially cargo-cult hard rules for what smart people do into existence.

>>18415223
cult leader things

>>18415031
me too god damn it

>>18413553
This only works for small time landlords. Larger businesses in high demand areas won't care if you go.

>>18415031
>>18415261
Check out npg or at least bump it
>>18415233

We take everyone

>>18415243
>goes on a website that is literally exactly how he describes it and then bitches about it
The cope department is calling, it's for you

>>18413817
The only consolation I can give you is that you aren't alone in your struggles.

>>18415277
no more generals
no more

>>18415309
If it catches on it's cool. It can be talked about in passion forever.

>>18412928
I'm too sedated and inundated with modern life in a big city to give a shit about anything other than work and keeping my relationship afloat.

>>18415309
I guess the reason y'all never do anything is because you're all super weirdos just a /lit/ flavor. I couldn't imagine thinking anybody wasn't going to see the transparency in this post >>18415243

And then literally post it twice as if it's a hot take nobody could read.

>>18415324
i fantasize every day about moving to a rural state and getting a job digging ditches

It's fine, I don't really get why y'all bitch about anything. I personally think y'all like being nobodies but who knows.

>>18415333
Retard gang gang

Your brain: old, wrinkly, grey
My brain: pink, smooth, a e s t h e t i c

>>18415332
Why are you replying to me?

>>18415346
t. newfag zoomercath tourist

Should I reinstall Dota 2 or is that just suicidal? (Last played in 2014, over 1000 hours played)

>>18414086
pitiable creatures huh.

I remember I was leaving Amsterdam and said fuck it, I'm here, I have to try it before I go. Popped into one of the windows on my way to the train, must have been around 11 AM, not much happening in the red light district. It was very basic, very boring, but I'll never forget, as I was leaving, the woman asked me if I wanted to stay a little longer, since I hadn't used up all my time. Idk, maybe she was trying to get me to pay for another round, but I thought I sensed loneliness in her broken English.

Or maybe I was just projecting.

>>18415417
If you can play video games in moderation like an adult, a couple hours a week, it may not be bad

If you are going to depression spiral and lose a month or a year of your life to 3000 hours of a piece of shit fag activity for children that will never give you anything back, you answered your own question

Even if you can play in moderation, multiplayer games are peak degeneracy unless you are already a well balanced person and you truly regard it as a vice, a mindless fun activity to be played with friends. Almost anything in life is better than multiplayer vidya. Might as well jack off with 30 strangers every night.

>>18415408
I am not a newfag, not a zoomer, not a catholic, and not a tourist. Why are you replying to me?

>>18414569
based

>>18415431
You are all that and a leech

>>18414968
meth

>>18414968
bruhhh i feel u man, i think its cuz i stopped doing cardio when the pandemic hit but idk man im just tired all the fucking time, plus i am old but its not like went from energy to older in a span of two years. it's probably mostly mental, just the constant toxicity of society grinding down my vitality. probably if i smoked some weed and got laid it might restore some energy, but i have autism.

Just found out

>>18415857
you fucked around i take it?

I think I'm smart but whenever I read about the thoughts and ideas of great mathematicians I feel like a caveman smacking together rocks. Mathematics is the purest and most realized expression of ideas, capable of extending to worlds of thought that mere language can never reach.

While I do believe I can understand the same concepts as these mathematicians, because the concept is separable from the means that derives it, I don't know enough math to participate in the active construction of these intellectual palaces. And my unmathematized thinking is second rate, conveying a blurry and imperfect image of the concepts rather than a pristine one in all its glory.

The best of the best are operating on a level that shapes the whole future of human thought, and I am a mere peasant praying to them as gods so that their knowlege might rain down upon my fallow and parched fields of words.

>>18415885
Mathematics are anything but surprising when one considers them to be bound to the lowest form of the Intellect, that is, reason. They have lost what connected them to principles of trascendence, being the cryptic language they use a mere shell that any person who would dedicate himself to study them would understand.

I believe that understanding certain concepts of metaphysics is much harder than understanding matemathics, being that the former are based on the most kind of pure intelligence, that which is connected to the divine.
If you dedicate your time to studying mathematics, you will end understanding them, sooner or later. This is different from certain metaphysical concepts, which are directed to a certain differentiated human type.

>>18415885
math isn't that hard, there's always some precious teenager graduating with a stem degree at 15 or whatever. you can get through all the undegrad shit in a year or two. what you never see is a 15 year old graduating with a literature degree.

>>18415908
Found the insecure faggot who got poor grades in math.

>>18415908
You sound like Schopenhauer, who was a bit cold on math.

That said a metaphysician with a thorough mathematical education is better off than one without it, if only for the reason that math teaches you to think with an unparalleled sort of precision.

I'd argue that the likes of Kant, and perhaps Heidegger at his best, are competitive with some of the great mathematicians.

Also just to quibble I would argue against your claim that math is some kind of cryptic nonsense jargon, when it quite clearly governs so much of human reality, from engineering to finance to science and everything in between. Pragmatically speaking math is a form of intellectual tool that allows you to directly operate on the substance of reality.

Although I agree with you that a skilled metaphysician can come to the same conclusions as the mathematician, and often gets there faster, that's only because the best mathematicians essentially are metaphysicians except they put more work into proving their points. Kurt Gödel for example, would certainly not take offense to being labeled a metaphysical thinker. He was engrossed in it. Mathematics is nothing if not metaphysical, it is in fact often thought by some to occupy a higher grade of truth than the physical, (see Max Tegmark's mathematical universe hypothesis which believe it or not says the universe is literally made up of math!)

>>18415931
Yeah math itself isn't that hard, but neither is painting a shitty picture versus a da Vinci masterpiece. I'm talking about the top tier mathematicians, the Newtons, von Neumanns, Eulers, Laplaces etc, who make even the average maths phd look like baby shit.

>>18415940
>falling for the genius social construct
now that's what i call plebeian

>>18415908
based based based based, this is the reason I won't leave this place forever

>>18415885
pseud, very likely between 19 and 24 years old

shit like this still triggers me all the time, a real anger comes up in me, that's why you need something like meditation and positive thinking. pls don't talk about math, this isn't a math board. do as much math for me as you want, you will never be able to take away human dignity.

>>18415934
I want to punch you in the face, little arrogant piece of shit

>>18415943
Oh lol okay then. The proof is in the pudding. I'm sure just anybody who knows how to add 2 and 2 together would come up with Euler's constant. Doesn't take any sort of talent at all.

everything is well and good until you get a fuckin kidney stone. life just stop mattering after that.

>>18415948
>pseud, very likely between 19 and 24 years old

>The only medication approved by the Food and Drug Administration specifically for the treatment of schizoaffective disorder is the antipsychotic drug paliperidone (Invega). However, doctors may prescribe other antipsychotic drugs to help manage psychotic symptoms such as delusions and hallucinations.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/schizoaffective-disorder/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20354509

>>18415965
>little arrogant piece of shit

I've recently become acquainted with an art 'scene' whose members are about 3-4 years younger than me and I'm astounded. I may be older than them but some of these kids have social skills and abilities to organize that make me scratch my head. They must have parents in politics or high bureaucratic positions to have learned these skills so young. I'm kind of in awe and angered because it took so long for me to realize that my inability to network or organize wasn't entirely my own fault but my births fault as these kids are clearly well-versed in upper class forms of communication and customs.

that's it, I'm going to expose your shitty math / physical beliefs, it will take a couple of days, but I'll make the perfect post, and after that no pseud can come along and feel extra smart anymore, it's about time I can't take this shit anymore. It is also my human responsibility to educate others about it. this is no coincidence - everyone will be able to check it out for themselves when I'm done. prepare yourselves.

>>18415023
Same

God, I will miss my Kaichou so much.
Fuck. It has been a long while since I felt like this. Why does it hurt so much? Oh God, why? It's not fair.

>>18412928
No, fuck you.

The only reason people make these threads and reply is to farm (you)s so they can feel better about their pathetic life by whoring out the last parts of them that are still human.

>>18416016
midwestern kid that went to a DC university- shit made me want to go school shooter 4 years late

>>18416016
my mom is still confused about why her art career didn't go anywhere, but now after i have worked in higher ed for close to a decade in an institute with a big art department, i can say she never had a clue how to promote herself or build an artists cv. i'm still not sure she gets it even now. she was a pity admit at an elite college too, but they didn't bother to teach her any bourgeois skills.

>>18416049
No, fuck off.

>>18416044
it's over
they won

I love how energetic she is

Mass suicide is the answer to everything. Everyone just isn't ready for it, keep delaying the inevitable bros

>>18416082
the declining birth rate is effectively the same thing. all these conspiracy kooks who think the vax is going to make ppl infertile are totally off-track. if the elites want anything it's for the prole birth rate to go up, so more likely the vax is going to make everyone junglistically horny. both the unites states and china face a birth rate crisis right now, and they both funded that lab. conspiracy kooks are sadly so unoriginal. after i saw creampie porn trending on pornhub as the vax rate hit 50% my paranoia levels started going up.

>>18416082
Shame on you, bitch

>>18416055
im also a mid-westerner haha.

>>18416056
Yeah I always thought it was loser cope when people said it was all 'networking and promoting' but its actually the exact opposite that is the real cope. if you aren't focused on Power you won't get anywhere.

>>18416058
Fuck it, since it's anonymous anyway
I'll confess, anon. I'm Vietnamese. My country is under China's boots for centuries. Our government is literal in the pocket of Pooh and his gang. I pretty much moved to a Western country so my children wouldn't suffer under the possibility of a Chinese takeover politically and economically. It's not an exaggeration to say that every single one of us hate Chinese, its people and its government more than any fucking anon here is feeling right now.
Coco isn't my oshi. But I watched her stream here and there once every week or so.
This news makes me fucking sick. Make me fucking seething like nothing ever before. I didn't care much about any of the drama besides the Taiwan stuff until now.
But this fucking makes me mad. Make me fucking pissed. Imagine loving and being passionate about something and having it defiled by what is pretty much the enemy of your own bloodline, your nation and your culture. And nothing can be done about it. I couldn't fucking fight the Chinese as a soldier in my home country because the top brass is a bunch of corrupted fucks and the military wouldn't do shit when it is tied down by the government and its politics. I know the US and my home country's military wouldn't do anything to China either.
This is the fucking worst. Fuck.

>>18412928
im the only living being and all the posts on this website are just recycled posts to simulate as though i'm actually communicating with other people, but only the same unfunny retards respond to my posts and that unfunny retard responding to my post is an AI.

It's been so long since anything satisfied me, including attempts to get help or complain. I'm starving for something my brain won't let me have

Horny and hungry

>>18416132
my family came to the united states from poland, another country historically oppressed by powerful neighbors. the united states has a lot of problems, but we're not going to let china win. no dooming, dude.

There is only so much wisdom that existence has to offer. There are only so many things God can think of.
In general, there is : 1) Metaphysical or Spiritual Truth. 2) Mental Phenomena or consciousness related. 3) Cosmos or particle-universe related. 4) Mathematical 5) Abstract or Pure Idea related

Now. 1) is the existence of God and His Will
2.) The soul, its mental activity and experiences.
3). You could have other physical universes with particles traveling through space with different laws or different forces, but it's the same type of thing, is it not?
4) Well with Math, we got most of this covered on our planet already. It was actually technology that was difficult to imagine.
5) Sheer abstraction. Well, you have universal ideas that apply to all realms of phenomena, you have the grand classification of all phenomena, you have ideas related only to ideas, and you have notions of relationships. You can also have imaginary ideas, which can include paradoxes and dreams, but these are inexhaustible.

>>18416067
Your gf? I loved that about my ex too

>>18414564
They think that one day i'll just move out on my own.

Coco

I'd like to appreciate essays and letters more.
https://web.archive.org/web/20021228073942/http://www.georgetown.edu/faculty/schallj/20.htm#3a

>>18416344
You will keep watching her when she goes independent, right?

i'm so tired.

>>18416132
I don't hate China or particularly dislike the average Chinese person. It's just the way the country radicalizes some of its citizenry into hyper nationalism that's ridiculous. Honestly when it's making fun of their head of state I can kind of understand, but in this case it was totally innocuous. There was no ill will involved, in the West it's just a universal thing that Taiwan is its own country - even Wikipedia says this - but this makes some Chinese so angry they will attack anyone with influence who says this, even though it's just a universal fact to us. It's like they don't even understand most Westerners don't care one way or the other, but to them it's the most serious insult you can give.

Either way I still find a lot fascinating about the country. It's very similar to America: You see all the garbage floating on the surface and think, damn this country is awful, but despite its flaws it manages to at least be very interesting and produces things of value every now and then. I won't stop anyone arguing about their net negative impacts on the world, but idk, it feels impossible for me to hate all Chinese just based on the actions of some autistic hivemind people on the internet

Unless I am under the influence of some kind of mood enhancing drug I am constantly in an inferior state of mind and I cannot keep the suicidal thoughts and ideation out. I am starting to think that at the raw riverbed of chemical imbalance, there is something coherent and emergent, there might be some kind of wicked lesson here. Maybe I shouldn't be alive, and being alive feels I'm lost in a town I don't recognize. Is there some kind of way to determine if death is more valuable than living?

>>18416388
fuck cover and fuck china.
who is going to be next now that the chinks know they can harass whoever they want out of cover? it might be your oshi next i'm holo-fucking-pissed

>>18414110
well said mate

>>18414874
>Whatever can be a means to his attaining it is called a true good; but the highest good is to arrive--together with other individuals if possible--at the enjoyment of such a nature.
So after all that, he advocates for a buddhist level acceptance of nature as itself outside the confines of man’s interpretation?

>>18414314
Thanks anon.
>>18414723
I appreciate it anon. I’ll try my best to move on from both where I am mentally and physically, but it’s so difficult. Thank you for the kind words.
>>18414736
I tried once and didn’t get past the guy at the bar scene. I’ve read a few other dosto books but the MC always seems to be the same autistic overly emotional guy that the world just happens to and he seems to always make the specifically wrong choice. I suppose that makes sense given my post. Thanks for the Rec anon.
>>18414765
>>18414821
>>18414874
>>18414897
I appreciate this anon, let’s me know I’m not alone in my thoughts, but just as I just said above, his conclusion is really just “the bounty of nature and the knowledge from it are eternal and will never fail you” is really it? Am I reading it wrong?
>>18415291
Thanks anon. The guy that posted Spinoza really make that hit home. If I’m now struggling with questions that the greats even had problems with, how could a shitty lawyer figure it out. Does this mean I’ve hit the end game of depression and overthinking?

Today I'm going to take a license exam and if I pass, I'll be able to get a job at a hospital. I'll soon exit neethood and leave you guys. My writing schedule will be reduced by 90%

>>18416395
Fuck bros. Coco is gone for good.

>>18416044
>>18416058
>>18416132
>>18416344
>>18416365
>>18416388
>>18416395
Genuinely consider killing yourself you infantile consoomer faggot.

This feeling of anguish keeps creeping up on me. No matter how hard I try to make it go away it just keeps coming back. I made it go away for about a week by being social over the weekend, but as soon as i'm idle it returns. If my mind isn't kept busy my thoughts keep returning to bitter subjects. I dont know how to make it go away

>>18416472
Why are you sucking Zhang's dick?

>>18416491
Let me guess, you are a leftist and you believe in meaningless platitudes such as "freedom of speech" like some docile nigger cow who understands nothing but entertainment consumption.

>>18416388
>There was no ill will involved, in the West it's just a universal thing that Taiwan is its own country - even Wikipedia says this - but this makes some Chinese so angry they will attack anyone with influence who says this, even though it's just a universal fact to us.
>"Oh it's just a well-known fact those silly savages know nothing about their own country's disputes."
Why are Anglos like this?

How do I stop projecting awkwardness and insecurity

>>18416520
Learn body language and autistically analyze yourself all the time. Talk less. When you talk, speak slowly and deliberately.
Thats 90% of your problems solved

my therapist pointed out to me today that the only things I seemed to have expressed genuine happiness and enthusiasm for in the past few months were things I ate. Ironically, I was about to go on a diet

what the fuck am I supposed to do with my life?

There's nothing I hate more than wanting to go out and do something and realizing I have nothing to do, nowhere to go, and no one to meet. Then sometimes I try to go outside alone and I always feel weird and out of place. I don't think I ever had a chance

>>18416537
Is therapy helpful?

>>18416519
Your post doesn't make sense, and I'm not an anglo.

>>18413036
President's relatives usurp people's assets, sometimes employing tanks in the process

>>18416570
It was with some things. The problem is I'm growing more and more unhappy in a way therapy and drugs can't fix. Anhedonia is consuming me and having done some research I've discovered that there isn't any known treatment for it, let alone a cure

I'm going to be honest, I don't see a good future ahead of me

>>18416578
You're projecting western assumptions to an alien foreign district.

>>18412928
Fuck you


That would be all

Was nietzsche an optimist?

>>18416501
How much did China pay you?

>>18416701
I don't care about China, I want vtuber consoomers to die.

>>18416719
Sure Zhang.

>>18416722
How is calling me a Chinese shill in any way meant to provoke me? Dumb twitter faggot.

I had a dream about one anon who took care of some deaf or blind girl and it was in greentext made comic. I'm almost certain it's real but I can't find it. It can't just be a figment of my imagination right?

>>18416736
This?

>>18416532
I hope so. I rolled all my stats into str and dex but got a 0 on cha bitches use me like an autistic dildo

That I'm sick and tired of doing all the work for Butterfly with this thing, she should be making posts for me :3

Butterfly, you clearly want my penis, I'm sorry for ever pretending differently I think that's where I went wrong.

>>18416782
I think so. My dream is a little vague now but the story was kind of bitter sweet.
I'll settle for this though, at least it's sweet.

>>18416736
I think I know what you’re talking about. The dude was a NEETcel before he met this blind chick. Started dating her, working out, and eventually married. Very comfy and hopeful.

>>18416838
Yeah it was something like that. He turned his life around for the better.

>>18416823
Also, Butterfly, if you happen to view this, I would prefer you NOT POST when I'm not here. I know we were doing that before, and I even distinctly remember you getting banned for posting towards me and stuff too, so just cut the bullshit, just do not post unless I'm on. :3

>>18416863
This is something you should just do from now no matter what Butterfly. No posting unless I'm on :3

I'm on often, so just always check. If I find you not doing this, then I will be irreparably sad.

This new relationship blooming between an anon and butterfly is exactly the sort of thing /lit/ needed. Looking forward to seeing where this goes

>>18416920
It's not exactly new. You can see I refer to something very much older. :3

She should not be posting while I'm not on. This is kind of a defense to all the bullshit people who are reporting me are trying to pull. You take me down, you take her down

>>18416916
hate both of you but why the fuck shouldn’t she post when you’re not on? sounds controlling and psychopathic of you to ask

>>18416984
It's a little controlling, she wears a collar for me sometimes too. It's definitely our thing, and I don't feel this need with other women.

I'm not a psychopath though, I'm a nice person. In fact, she should do this because someone was an asshole for banning me in the first place.

Again, Butterfly. DO. NOT. POST. unless I'm on. :3

>>18416932
>You take me down, you take her down
If only

>>18417012
Well it will be that way from now on :3

>>18417019
Ok subhuman degenerate

I didn't know that "Facts don't care about your feelings" was an expression coined by Shapiro. Good thing I never used it and associated myself by mistake with a retarded jew.

>>18415423
This anon speaks the truth. I played that game for 2500 hours, haven't played in a year and not going back anytime soon.

Someone on reddit just tried to tell me that infinite jest is just as much of a classic as Moby dick and is better than count of monte cristo and now I'm upset

>>18417055
>someone told me something I don't agree with and now I'm mad!
Yeah, you're totally better than those dumb redditors who don't even post on 4chan line you do! Unironically, fuck off. Go back and stay there.

1/1
A friend of mine is also a coworker and he helped get me my job, and we work pretty closely. This motherfucker literally cannot stop talking about Trump. HE CANNOT STOP TALKING ABOUT TRUMP. For months and months every single thing he says is about Trump. I mean, it's probably been years, but ever since the election it's like he's trapped in some sort of limbo. I've observed his character just deteriorate. He's a true believer, and he believes so hard that it's like he's going into spasms just because Trump lost. He can't take it. He unironically still calls him "President Trump". He HATES, and I mean HATES the Democrats. Like anger-issues hates. I'm sick of him already, and I've been avoiding him. He gets angry. He actually gets himself angry. Who the fuck gets angry? And it's the fact that we're in a professional setting. He has completely isolated himself from the rest of the office. I think instinctively it's like he's moved underground because a part of him is starting to recognize that his behavior is extremely antisocial. People wanna talk about going out, talk shop, goof off, but no, this man's entire life is Donald fucking Trump, and it's just beyond cringe.

>>18414442
Any books on the subject you would recommend? I'm mostly interested in history of male prostitution in far east and Asia in general.

>>18417067
2/2
I think I've just completely checked out. I say good morning to him, but nothing else, because I know he's going to start talking about how angry he is about something. There's something schizophrenic about it. He literally believes everything he hears and reads on the internet. One day it's "For sure X is going to happen, can't wait for Trump to make the big move! the Democrats are shaking!" then the next day when I bring it up it's "No, no, anon, forget all that, he's not gonna do that, Trump's no fool, no, no, he's trying to keep the Democrats on their toes, it's really about Y!" So he said Trump is going to run for Senate in Florida. I said, "Oh, okay," as if I'm supposed to be thrilled. "Why?" I asked. "Because he's going after revenge!" "Revenge? Is that his motivation?" "They backstabbed him!" "So what's he gonna do in Florida?" "He's gonna make them pay!" It's fucking incredible how this man, this old friend of mine, has been captured.

I think I finally turned on him one day when we were all chatting with a new intern. The man was quiet the whole time, brooding into a newspaper. Everyone had something nice to say about the intern when he walked away, and then the man says, "Eh...seems like a liberal to me." That was when I realized how disgusting I thought he was.

>>18414692
I feel the same way. I've been reading these on and off since probably late 2019 or so but recently they've become one of the first things I look for in the catalog. Seems more popular than ever too, threads hit the bump limit in less than a day, as will this one probably. Not just because of summerfags either it's been growing at a fast rate all year.

>tfw you realize the novel you've been working on for ages is basically Peep Show in both premise and style of humour
>hadn't even watched the show before
Fucking livid bros.

>>18416618
I would say so. He believed in possibility of better future.
>>18417067
>>18417082
Some people just need Caesars and Napoleons. Or he is mentally ill. Either way, he would make good character in absurdist novel.

Has anyone ever wondered about the antisocial consequences of literacy? Seriously, for the past few years I get this sudden awareness that the medium itself engenders and reinforces loneliness and separateness. Maybe this is a McLuhanist take, but I do feel like "hidden ground" of reading and writing, the ineradicable essence, is lonely men. Of course when you point this out to people, they say, well, sure, everyone knows that. But I think it's more pervasive than we all suspect.

For example, when we write, especially in these journal like threads, is there not a tendency to air grievances? Even better example: every word that is written is coming from a man who was alone, sitting, and quiet -- and so the thought content of that particular state is overrepresented in the medium of literature.

Every time I think about this it startles me. I noticed it when I was taking creative writing courses. In class I was a very upbeat guy, and generally I'm very positive and optimistic. But all my writing reflected a morose and critical outlook. I also noticed that I would get writing ideas while going out for long walks, some bright lofty ideas, only then to come home, sit quietly and my computer, and brood.

God.

the song that starts at
Saint Stephen - 23:07
is fucking mental
what a groove
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZgvVLAsZJw

>>18417088
Peep Show's pretty good, it's alright
>when the chubby one ends up in a concert bathroom smoking weed with some goths
>thinks to himself "this is it"
>"this is what people do when they are having fun"
too relatable.

>>18417098
Dude, I was thinking the same thing. The man has become a meme of himself, but still he's a pretty unique guy. He has a distinct voice, and he thinks out loud a lot. He has a slight Bostonian accent. He has a weird sense of humor. He's odd, but he's a genuine guy, which makes his whole thing quite tragic.

He might make a good subject for fiction because as much as I complain about him, he's a thoroughly memorable person.

>>18417102
you're just autistic trying to find rational justification for your loneliness. "i'm lonely and different and so special because i am an intellectual who reads a lot", no, this is projection. you think too highly of yourself.

>tfw you realise that you're trapped in the cage of pseudo-intellectualism

>>18417067
>>18417082
he probably has a mental problem, like schizophrenia or aspergers

Am i really a subhuman for never having a relationship?

>>18417126
no

>>18417098
>Or he is mentally ill.
He's not, but that actually makes him all the more compelling. I happen to know his brother has been in and out of mental hospitals. I know this because one day he kept getting interrupted by calls, and he started venting that his alcoholic brother is drunk and trying to get into his apartment. He also has an obvious fear of women. I know that sounds stupid, but I think women terrify him, and he tends to project a lot onto women he barely knows. Our old boss was this elderly woman, who left YEARS ago and he still whines about her. Once or twice he's mentioned his mother in a negative way, but I can't remember what it was. Something generic about being "unreasonable", I think.

I know I'm getting into details, but I'm just imagining him as a character now. Also, he's an army vet, and has an Asian wife. I just don't get these people.

>>18417117
Reading comprehension, man, try it. Nothing I said was to say anything good about myself. In fact I just find it perplexing. Any why are you conflating literacy with intelligence? I implied none of that.

>>18417081
>I'm mostly interested in history of male prostitution in far east and Asia in general.
best book i've read on this particular subject was "Male Colors: The Construction of Homosexuality in Tokugawa Japan" by gary leupp which isn't SPECIFICALLY about prostitution, but it mentions prostitution a lot, i'd say half of it if not more is about how prostitution transpired. it's focused on tokugawa japan, but in the beginning of the book there is a quite detailed overview describing the state of male prostitution in surrounding countries like china and korea iirc, which might interest you. also you might want to check out some history about the korean namsadang who were itinerant prostitute clowns kek.

I keep going and eventually I don't feel the pain anymore
That's when I become truly afraid

>>18413280
retarded female hands typed this post

>>18417126
Not yet, but once you let the inceldom get to you and relax into its degenerate comfiness you will be. Keep up the good fight!

The elephant in the room is that there is no escape

>>18417177
What is degenerate comfiness in this case?

/tv/ has gone completely fucking insane

>>18417187
The thought that it is the women's fault that you hate them.

>>18417196
What the fuck is it with 4chan and BBC shit? I

>>18417196
"BUCKS could be here" he thought. "I've never been to this plantation before. There could be bucks everywhere." The southern wind felt good against his pressed white suit. "I LOVE BUCKS" he thought. Dixie's land reverberated from the house."With a horse, you can break bucks wherever you want" he said to himself.

>>18413634
you've basically just restated all the beliefs already implicit in the acknowledgment that "all is cope" seemingly without realizing it, and yet also somehow missed the point.
anyway, what I think it comes down to is that some of us just have an inner revulsion towards the concept of "creating your own meaning" and all that, maybe because we have a stronger longing for capital T truth than others, and less willingness to compromise on this perceived fundamental thing, and in the apparent absence of it, or the inability to apprehend it, the resulting worldview and the hopelessness inherent in it takes on either a nihilistic or absurdist nature or something less pronounced veering in either direction.
and what you've expressed at the end there really IS a cope - which is okay, since everything is - but then it's not okay at all because what the fuck

There should be a contractual obligation for every anon to respond "BUILT FOR BBC" whenever Ben Shapiro's sister is mentioned

>>18417207
Sometimes i think that it doesnt matter if you hate them or not. I mean if they like me then i could do anything and they'd still like me.

>>18417234
That you think of "them" as a unified group is already a step too far into inceldom.

>>18417245
good luck anon

>>18414264
remember that the only reason nobility is nobility is that those who started the noble bloodline were, rather than "noble", conquerors and people who rose above others and attained power and expressed their Will unto the world. I think that's along the lines of what that anon was getting at. that's what's worth something, not coasting off the fact that your distant ancestors were people who had it in themselves to rise above. in fact by convincing yourself that your blood makes you in any way superior, you are putting yourself in a place by default from which there isn't anywhere to rise to. I have nobility in my blood too, by the way. it counts for fuck all as far as I'm concerned, and it's a cope I've noticed some of my family members engaging in. I'd much rather be one who starts a bloodline rather than live as some diluted remains of something that maybe once had some worth.

why

>>18417137
Based on that information yeah, there's a good chance he's got some screws loose. But there are lifelong normies who're now acting this way anon. I've seen far many people who were apolitical and well-adjusted (more than I am) become so constantly vitriolic and obsessed over daily political drama. This isn't some sort of diatribe against NPCs, as you said this guy has some unique and redeeming traits. People who act and think independently, and even outside the box as you suggest about him, all turn the same once anything political comes up. I swear to god politics have given the masses brain damage. Worst part is it's not even "politics" but Baudrilliardian pornography of constant "happenings" that don't matter. That never mattered. Your co-worker honestly doesn't sound too unique in this regard, There are a thousands like him in the comment section for any kind of political news and media. The only thing that makes him stand out as being mental illness is that he takes these Fox News hot takes outside of his home and openly rants about it IRL... and in the workplace no less. Who the fuck shares their strong reactionary political views within a professional setting and among co-workers? Imagine what he's like in the privacy of his own home. I'm sure if he was a family member or friend of mine I'd be blowing my brains out having to listen to him.

>>18417122
Get off the computer, will ya?

>>18412928
feet

I realized today I've been doing literally retard-tier activities for the last nine years and it's time to move on. Buying a comfy chair and hopefully that will lead to pursuits besides staring mindlessly into the lightbox all day.

>>18417247
Its not that easy not to fall into inceldom when others would call me an incel in mere seconds (mainly due to me being 28 year old kissless virgin)

>>18417282
i can't relate to anything in this pic, do zoomers really?

>>18417184
>ywnba elephant
literally why even

i think the revolution is the worst thing that happened to russia, think of the late 19th century, russian culture was in its most thriving state, i'm into art history so i look at it from the perspective of an art historian, but there was such a sense of excellency in the arts and literature and music, we were such a great culture, we produced so many icons and legends, many of which are still discussed on this board, then afterwards just 100 years of nothing. and now, russian culture is in the most miserable state it's ever been in. why the fuck did this happen man, it's so sad.

>>18417245
good luck anon

>>18417335
You trusted the commies, anon. Dont trust the commies ever again

Why are jannies banning the ":3" creep? He's a faggot but he didn't break any rules

>>18417335
>i think the revolution is the worst thing that happened to russia
Of course it is. It's a goddamn tragedy and should be mourned. The soul of Russia was murdered the day their royal family was murdered.

>>18417335
Jews

>>18417347
who cares, he deserves it. excessive faggotry should be reason enough

>>18416782
Cute.

>>18417310
better?

>>18417413
the flashy keyboard is weird. also
>implying the average /lit/ user has a dad

>>18417413
kek, everything comes down to the normie/autist dichotomy. just changing between twitter/4chan instantly makes this go from cringeworthy 4chan behavior to painfully relatable 4chan user lifestyle

I wonder how much global energy usage would go down if we stared playing boardgames in cafes instead of shitpost and watch netflix all the time. half?

sorry i am going to sperg again. vienna secession was such a cool part of art history. this triggered all sorts of thoughts in me. hm. i wish artists still were able to produce creative work in reaction to the restrictions of their environment, coming up with innovative concepts that reflect the spirit of their times, but i think everywhere in the world we are in some sort of limbo, which is so obvious that i feel redundant for even stating it. the decline is obvious to everybody, yet nobody does anything, why? now we can observe what becomes of a culture when the arts aren't encouraged, when they are very actively discouraged, how can we get out of it? profit has become the only valuable factor in producing visual arts and entertainment. hopeless, it's fucking hopeless, what can we do...

>>18417153
Thank you.

>>18417082
Sounds like a brilliant strategy to keep normies out of your shit

>>18417335
Communism kills the soul. Its like in the Dosto thread, wherein Lenin expresses his disgust for the darker parts of the human soul, while also praising Tolstoy and Dostoyevsky. He is appreciating a beautiful flower while expressing disgust for the dirty soil in which it grows; you cannot have one without the other. You cannot have genuine artistic expression when your entire view of the human species is described in the dry, soul-crushing jargon of an economics textbook.

>>18417536
>hopeless, it's fucking hopeless, what can we do...
Keep talking about it. If you're unhappy with the state of art under late capitalism, let people know about it. If you have the ability, be the change you want to see. Even that's optional. If you can't, and no knock on you of this is the case, then keep speaking your mind about it to help foster the environment in which the art you want to see can flourish.

>>18417341
>>18417619
These. Communism is possibly the most dehumanizing system that could possibly exist

>>18417102
The impulse to write probably results from an absence of people with whom you can socialize with at your level. It’s doesn’t necessarily appear true that writing makes one solitary/lonely, nor does it seem that being solitary necessarily leads to writing.

>>18417303
And you still have to keep resisting it! You don't want to be an incel. /lit/ is good, but you also need to get /fit/ and /fa/. The world is more than misery, its the most fantastic and inspiring thing that exists, face up to its challenge. You have nothing to lose, only to gain.

>>18417631
You should also become volcel for at least a couple of years, to rid yourself of the yoke that sexual dissatisfaction puts on you. Become a new man, and only then shed the volcel oath!

>>18417622
thank you anon. i am actually very actively working to be the change i want to see in art, and i always follow through with my promises, it is not just idle babble on 4chan to me, it's my life. although whether it works out for me or not won't depend entirely on me, but i do and will continue doing everything in my power. i appreciate your post.

>>18417250
>conquerors and people who rose above others and attained power and expressed their Will unto the world. I think that's along the lines of what that anon was getting at.
I interpreted that it was to attain through merit within modern society; sorry if I was wrong, I was already a bit sleepy by then.
>that's what's worth something, not coasting off the fact that your distant ancestors were people who had it in themselves to rise above.
I've been trying my best to 'rise': through weight lifting (physical exercise) and philosophy/literature (mental exercise). Nonetheless I know it's not enough. Any tips? This goes along with what you said here:
>I'd much rather be one who starts a bloodline rather than live as some diluted remains of something that maybe once had some worth.