/lit/ - Literature

do eccentric loners make poor protagonists?

>>18386700
Sure, why not.

>>18386688
Your vtuber squid girl’s perspective is fucked up again. You know jannies are going to delete it, but before then I’d just like to point out how there’s no depth to the z axis here. That’s not how an easel would rest. The proportions are wonky. She doesn’t even look like she’s sitting on the chair for god sake. Where do you find this trash OP?

>>18386688
My creative writing is shit but I'm glad to actually be working on a project other than journaling.

>>18386718
Vtuber fans are usually the most talented or intelligent people.
Pedophiles rarely are.

Can erotica be posted for critique?
I'm asking this for future reference. It's not presentable yet.

>>18386866
She told me to check em’ and I noticed her two big beautiful dubs just hanging there. I whipped out my ragging hard cock and asked her “do you like Huey Lewis and the news?” as my member slid deep inside her. Her legs wrapping around me as she whispered in my ear “implying you can make me cum” which caused me to thrust faster and harder. Right before I bust I screamed “you will never be a woman!” The cum flooded into her womb and she commented on the warm release she felt inside and then said “you faggot”

>>18386821
>Vtuber fans are usually the most talented or intelligent people.
I agree. I guess it's because vtubers aren't pedophiles

>>18386889
Ripples of slippery sensual pleasure echoed throughout my body resonating from the tip of my penis when it touched the particular insides of her guts and how the evolutionary make up of her reproductive organs released pleasurable chemicals into my brain that removed any and all thinking or logic. The act took away all sense of my humanity. I was reverted to my base instincts because my penis felt so good going in and out of her vagina. The touch and feel of her body, her meat slab husk of a shell enhanced this pleasure of the most basic primal activities a person can participate in. It was cruel that this was the focal point of the human experience. Something so disgusting yet programmed to be the one thing that cut all logic circuits. Once I bust my nut in her I was ashamed, but this only lasted about 7 minutes before I wanted to insert my penis inside her again. I couldn't tell if this was my sex drive or the beer taking control, but she was not amused, but went along with it again because I had been less than satisfying to her and she wished to eventually get off herself.

>>18386889
thank you for acknowledging by digits but I'm afraid my question is still unanswered

>>18387070
Not funny just cringey. It’d be a bad shitpost even for /b/s standard

>>18386889
lol. This is great. I was just watching the Bill McClintock Hip to Be the Sandman mashup. It's a great mashup, just like all of his others, but the dancers for Huey Lewis and the News look so gay. Be sure to check out the guy's channel on YouTube.

>>18387660
I'd say my life is a joke, but it was never very funny.

>>18387769
Neither is your writing. Probably less humorous than your life and existence.

>>18387070
>she was not amused, but went along with it again because I had been less than satisfying to her and she wished to eventually get off herself
Alright, I giggled

Someone post an excerpt with improper dialogue tags so I can post "the image" again.

>>18387999
>”Those are some based trips you got there.” He said.

The jannie is just gonna delete your image, OP. Again.

"The jannie is just gonna delete your image, OP. Again." he smirked.

>>18387999
OP - the jannie WILL NOT delete my image!

>I put on music and pace around the room writing the atmosphere and characters in my mind
I talk to them and write dialogue,imagining the environment etc. The music helps
sometimes mahler can take me places where I had never went before, shubert tinkles the grime humor of my characters, irish folk adds a little fun while indian classical sets a tone so rhythmic and melodic that the dialogs seem to be dancing rather than be said by my characters.
I am not memeing and I know this sounds reddit but this has helped me get published

what a fag

>>18388092
redditors do not have enough imagination, (read: schizophrenia,) to get anything productive out of talking to yourself.

"I find your posts to be shallow and pedantic." Anon mused.

>>18388029
>>18388036
>>18388209

>>18388074
Jannie - *angry cock sucking noises*

>>18386889
I don't like trying to maximize memes per minute

>>18386688
You could've at least posted a pic of a writer vtuber.
Oh wait, none of them are.
They don't even read.
It's almost as if vtubers have nothing to do with literature.
Weird, since I see so many pictures of them on this board.

>>18388391
There are human booktubers, so theoretically there could be book vtubers. I've seen one book vtuber but his channel was in Spanish and I couldn't understand him

>>18388227
Okay, I'll fully admit that English isn't my first language so I might be missing something, but what is this issue with these?

How is a sentence that goes: '"I like those shoes." He said. ' wrong?

>>18388617
It isn't. People are just nitpicky

>>18388617
>>18388638
Pick up a book from your shelf (or your parents' shelf if you don't even own a book) and look at how the dialogue is formatted, please.

You guys are being fun today so I'll pop out of the shadows a lil more.
During my creative time I watch the HoloEN girls while I write, and look she's playing a game I've written fanfiction for.
Also the blonde girl has read on her stream and the pink hair girl has read a comic. They can become OUR fans.
I like when they're the OP image.
Also slight tangent but I see you guys wanna make money, if you're in America have you thought about buying the writer's market books? The new one comes out in October and it has tons of contests and stuff.
Worth a look. Write more and get paid and all that jazz.

>>18388661
I looked at my copy of Call of the Crocodile and the dialogue is formatted exactly like that

>>18388029
"Those are some based trips" anon replied.

>>18388676
Cute toes

>>18388746
LOL thanks. I had to lean back to take the picture and some escaped the cropping.
In retrospect that one gives a bit of info but oh well. Worst case scenario I'll sign copies of my work, no biggie.

>>18388694
“Yeah, but check these,” he whispered, alone, to himself.

Hello, I know nothing about the science of storytelling. tldr me on what I should know

>>18388676
You will never be japanese.
Fanfiction is not literature.
Vtubers are no different than twitch thots ("the blonde girl" was literally one of them).

>>18388897
I do plan to translate my novels into other languages including Japanese. I do want to be a polyglot at some point. Always be learning.
Quora says fanfiction is literature so you're mistaking opinion for fact aaand...
...you know a lot about that blonde girl don't you sir? Something you wanna share with the class?

Man, what if I just pretend to be a black female and get one of those black only publishing deals?

>>18388949
Anon, just drop it and ignore him. Don’t derail the thread by enabling him.

>>18388949
>>18388958
OK. Which one of you is JK-sama?

>>18388966
Neither, I don't plan on translating to any other language. I had a friend offer to translate to taco for me but I didn't take them on the offer.

>>18388872
no one? HELP

>>18389033
First, you just write it. Then you look through it and make it better, one area at a time.

>>18389058
I mean sure but at this point there's bound to be some helpful theory out there worth looking into, no?

I skimmed through Poetics just now and as historically important as it was I have to say it seems a bit reductive and outdated.

What are you guys' personal tenets?

>>18389111
Given that I write whatever fiction I want, it's decide if an idea is good, think of some plot points that would sensibly develop it, write some of it, then of more plot points and form them into a loose chronological outline amd write it more.
Then go through with editing for showing more of the environment, showing more results and consequences of actions rather than step by step descriptions, replacing passive voice with better fitting words like `he was taking long steps` to `his stride`, removing infodumps that waste time, etc.

>tfw I've shit out this many words and I still have at least 80k more to go before the first draft is done and ready to be edited
Please end my suffering and invent a way that I can just think words onto a page instead of destroying my hands. This is my output since February.

>>18389282
Find a dictation app brah.

>>18389282
Impressive. That's as much as I did after a solid year of writing.

>>18389303
>kill your throat instead
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>18389282
No agent will look at a 300k word manuscript. Sorry, but your only option is to take the Retard Road now.

>>18386688
Is Ina getting people to do writing reps too now?

>>18389318
>implying I'm doing this to make money
What kind of fag writes for profit lmao

>>18388676
Contests usually come with big entry fees, sadly

>>18389111
Get Brody's "Save the Cat Writes a Novel" then be amazed that every author you've ever read follows the same formula

How to write a story for a videogame?

>>18389389
>“Story in a game is like a story in a porn movie. It’s expected to be there, but it’s not that important.” – John Carmack

>>18389366
where to pirate books?

>>18389426
https://ca1lib.org/book/5235772/c4ef09 ?

>>18389421
He hasn't made a relevant game since the 90s

>>18389389
depends on the genre, but if you aren't doing something expansive like Pathologic 2 or graceful like Gorogoa, you can just pull from pulp literature and exploitation films.

>>18389460
He's still completely correct though. To be more specific story in games is mostly backdrop, what you need to do is the dreaded worldbuilding and lore distribution which is fundamentally different from storywriting.

>>18389456
bless your heart

>>18389462
>worldbuilding and lore distribution
lmao no
Lore only matters to people who watch youtube videos of games they'll never play.
no amount of worldbuilding will produce a game as heart breaking as Towelket 2

>>18389481
>google game name
>"The Feminist Horror of Towelket 2"

>design game mechanic
>figure out what plot beat performed repeatedly would best suit mechanic
>write story where plot beat repeatedly happens and only marginally progresses the overarching plot
>???
>profit

>>18389487
are you actually retarded or are you pretending?

>>18389494
The only retard I see here is you.

>>18389512
I don't judge things I've never heard of by the headlines of tranny blogs

>>18389575
And I don't play "games" with no gameplay that only get by because Yume Nikki became a meme.

god it feels so good when you make a breakthrough on your idea. I wish I felt this feeling more often instead of stumbling into it every other month

Remember that editing is important. Otherwise you get assholes like me that directly email the publishers when they find a dagger quote.

>>18389590
>no gameplay
again, are you retarded or just pretending? Towelket is an jrpg.

>>18389607
Anon, just drop it and ignore him. Don’t derail the thread by enabling him

>>18389602
>make breakthrough with planning my novel
>hard drive glitches out and erases everything
I have since rewrote it but holy fuck was I mad.

>>18389618
Imagine how Gass felt when he finished his first draft of Omensetter's Luck and somebody stole it off his desk.

>>18389618
I'm sorry man. I don't know what I'd do if that happened to me. I think I would ragequit writing for a while

>>18386688
I'm about 20 pages into the first draft of a Sci-Fi novel, but I'm waiting for feedback on the first couple of chapters from one of my bros before I continue. In the meantime, I'm also working on surrealist horror story inspired by early SCP stuff (from before everything was a creation ending threat, gay or both)

I wanna start a writing blog to upload the later to so I can get used to having my work out there and also have something to show future publishers. Any advice for starting a website like that?

>>18389821
a recommendation, you should start an Instagram page for your writer persona. It's popular nowadays and I don't know why IG is good, but publishers like popular things

>>18389618
Use onedrive to back everything up, if you're on windows that is. It does it automatically.

>>18389834
Isn't Instagram only for pictures and short tweet length posts?

>>18389966
Not that anon, but you could always just link your long-form blog in your Instagram posts. It's more for short updates, yeah.

>soft scifi, alien planet setting
>space faring human faction arrives
>sets up several "work/mission"-oriented facilities, not civilian living-type expansion settlements.

Need ideas for a specific tangible goal(s) that could motivate those humans to do something of the sort that is not your typical extract some bullshit natural resource mcguffin. If its a field research kinda situation(doesn't have to be) it needs a meaningful objective purpose with practical application, not some vague "for science!/for knowledge!" reason. Must also be an intentional landing, not a castaway survival scenario.

Extra notes:
- These humans are part of a larger civilization which is detached from the actual story, it can be assumed they are under allegiance and maintain some degree of communication with it but for the moment are distanced enough to be running a semi-independent operation, i.e. it's not like they can snap their fingers and have reinforcements dropping in pronto. They are not some main vital task force all remaining humanity is devotedly counting on.

Any suggestions welcome, whatever comes to mind.

>>18390163
trade routes, like the Silk Road or oceanic trade routes

>>18390163
Btw, forgot to mention, I'm not necessarily looking for the character goals the story focuses on, just the official collective purpose that contextualizes the group.

>>18390163
could be a rescue

>>18390163
set up a highway, with warehouse and factories

Just finished finalizing the files for my third book today. Gonna release it on my birthday. Very satisfied with the way it came out, and I'm allowing myself to be proud for tonight alone. Feels good.

>>18390236
are you gonna share it with us?

>>18390247
I would, as I don't mind having my name associated with this place (I've essentially developed a persona that would accommodate such), but I don't have any physicals yet, and the last time I shared anything related to these books of mine, the folks on here weren't too kind.

>>18386688
> Critique my writing please, what could I do better, what am I missing, how do I improve?

I adjust the mirror and inspect my face. I had patches of blond facial hair that wouldn’t have looked out of place on a teenager. I patted my face with my palm and wiped the sweat from my brow as I pulled my hair back and put the helmet on. With a sigh I turned the mirror back to its original position and got on my bike. I put the key in the ignition and with one swift kick the engine turned over and started to purr. It was a small 50cc engine, but I didn’t mind since I usually never went far, and I was happy that I couldn’t really get up to speeds that would easily kill me. I turned the bike around and headed out into the street, joining the milling, controlled chaos of Cambodian traffic. Driving for a few meters on the wrong side of the road before a gap opened up and I could move over to the right side. The drive to the beach only took a maximum of a couple of minutes and as I got closer to the ocean the smell of dust and exhaust fumes was replaced by the smell of the fresh sea breeze. I turned off of the busy paved road and onto the uneven dirt road that went along the beach. expertly manoeuvring between the puddles still left from last night’s rain. I was used to weaving in and out between puddles, brown dogs camouflaged against the brown road, and groups of tourists lazily walking from one beach bar to the next.

>>18390261
you serious about turning down the disposable income of a hoard of semi-literate neets because you're afraid of us teasing you?

>I put on music and pace around the room
writing the atmosphere and characters in my
mind
I talk to them and write dialogue,imagining the environment etc. The music helps
sometimes mahler can take me places where I had never went before, shubert tinkles the grime humor of my characters, irish folk adds a little fun while indian classical sets a tone so rhythmic and melodic that the dialogs seem to be dancing rather than be said by my characters.
I am not memeing and I know this sounds reddit but this has helped me get published


do faggots really

>>18390287
I can handle the criticism. There's nothing anyone could say on here that could rival the feeling of getting your shit torn apart by professionals early on in your career, as was the case for me a few years back. It's just not something worth inviting when I'm feeling this good. Best I could do would be a sample page or two.

>>18390274
It's bad.

>>18390355
Thanks.

>>18390317
Do it

>>18389487
it's funny how when the link to that article was posted on 2ch, the actual fans were more confused than anything.

>editor recognized my ESL-ness
It's over. I'm NGMI.

>>18390163
I'm seconding the trade route idea. Trade, and not resources themselves, has always been the main driving force behind exploration. Maybe they're prospecting to set up the planet as a hub because an important trade route was disrupted during the Second Intergalactic Clusterfuck Wardeath II.
IRL, early European explorers had a similar motivation: After Constantinople fell to the Ottomans, a major trade connection to the far east and its spices got into "enemy" hands, so they went looking for alternate routes.

>>18390610
Why do you write in English in the first place? I don't.

>>18390610
ESL fiction writers are like fucking skinwalkers to me. I wish you anime loving retards would fuck off back to colombia or wherever the hell instead of trying to sell RWBY fan fiction to serious publishers and making it hard on the rest of us

>>18390627
Well the main reason is that I'm currently living in the US, and will likely stay there for the next few years.
And, as sad as this sounds, I don't really feel at home when writing in my mother tongue. My prose in English just seems to flow much better.

>>18390645
I guess there's nothing to do but to keep at it.

>Hey, help me with a story
>There's this kingdom and another kingdom and prince of one of them is taught by the best teachers in this magic system and this alchemy system and there's this church and knight orders. Then he discovers a dark past from, I'm not sure who yet, gets exiled from palace to a grim province.
>But I'm not sure what themes to write about and what the characters are supposed to do.
Why do people think that worldbuilding and backstory infodumps equal a story? And write like readers are a friend they met in person to explain their story?
>The lands burned and surged with noxious fumes that would poison anyone who dared to step onto them. But right in the middle of these blasted place stood a tower, black from scorching fireballs and alchemical brews, the favorite weapon of the endless horders of the whatever kingdom. It's king stood near the border, clenching his fists in rage so hard that the magic rings drew blood from palms. He turned around, his platinum ornated cape fluttiering in the wind and the mage of whatever order kneeled before whispering the report.
I can see the storyteller waving his hand and changing tone of his voice while eating fries or whatever.

Suddenly a ghostly sound penetrated my ear, a sound that nothing in the world could compare to. A scraping, slurping breathing, as if rugged gravel squeezed through a tunnel of watery hair. My senses were strained to the breaking point. Undoubtedly, someone was breathing, close by, but whether it was a human being, my panic-stricken mind was unable to interpret.

>>18391292
I did not interpret the first half of this the right way

>>18390693
that doesn't read at all like recounted or autofiction. did you just learn a new concept and are trying to hamfist it? using 'whatever' once doesn't make it a modern conversational tone
>Why do people think that worldbuilding and backstory infodumps equal a story?
non-reader conclusion. ignore these people

>>18390163
It's not a new idea (see: The Sparrow), but missionaries are often the first to travel to new lands

>>18389421
Depends on a video game. There are games that don't have much gameplay, but rely on a plot heavily.

>>18391464
I'm trying to copy the focus on painting the environment with all the detail possible and then just dumping info to move the plot in dialogues,

>>18391776
You're trying to write badly on purpose?

>>18391292
>a sound that nothing in the world could compare to
Firstly, this can mean anything, but you also contradict it in the next sentence when you compare it to gravel squeezing down a chute of wet hair.
Also, saying a character is panicked is unnecessary if your going to have them perform an action that indicates their panic. I don't know if that's what you intend to happen but if it is you might want to cut out "my senses were strained to the breaking point" and "my panic striken mind".

Here's my spin:
I could hear what sounded like gravel being squeezed down a chute of wet hair. It was the sopping breaths of something nearby. I couldn't tell if it belonged to a person, or something else.

>>18391860
*something nearby, but I couldn't tell

>>18391813
Did I fail at that?

Has anyone published a book? Self or traditional? I'm honestly curious to how much those that have actually grossed in sales

The fat lady greeted us all through her webcam. She grinned and welcomed us to the program. I proceeded to flick through the multiple pages of people’s faces on zoom, completely disinterested in what the lady was saying. The faces soon bored me too. The introduction was to go on for another four hours, but I cannot remember anything except the short break halfway through the session where the lady started doing stretches. She did not move naturally and looked very forced on camera, maybe due to her size. The grid of people followed the lady’s movements mechanically, but somewhat enthusiastically. This was their chance to break into the real world, a great opportunity to kickstart one’s career. The online session worked in my favour, and I frequently checked the crypto markets. The coins that I am currently tracking are low cap coins on decentralised exchanges. The lawless nature of this particular market attracts me, however in general crypto is a burden on my life. If it did not pay well, I would quit immediately. The session came to an end, and it was clear that it was pointless.

>>18391860
Oh boy am I glad that I didn't post the rest of it.

---

I refused to look at the moon, that perfect circle between torn, black clouds. Had it not been for the milky light of that devilish sphere, filtering in silvery threads through the patchy canopy, I would have been grateful for the dark of the woods. Never have I endured a more miserable night in the course of my life. Nature had conspired against me, and the letters in my pocket, the cursed order connected with them, made my situation infinitely worse.

For two days now I had been traveling. My destination the lonely castle of Count Morleon, a curious figure about whom I had not been able to find out much before I left Bristol. Only this much I learned, that he had entered into business relations with my employer and that it had fallen to me to meet the count personally, in representation of my master, equipped with various papers, the contents of which were unknown to me.

I felt my throbbing heart struggle against the obscurity, but the icy waters of my fearfulness poured over the virility of my instincts.

---

I thank you for your criticism, but I can no longer stand the plebeian style you espouse. Nor do I want to adopt the pure style of the grandmasters as my own, despite all its merits. Purple is the colour of my obsession.

>>18392058
The rest of it is fine, it's just that initial paragraph upthread, which wasn't purple, btw, but redundant and self contradictory.

>>18392075
Cheers

just tried writing something and almost puked

The old man sitting across from me on the bus kept his eyes closed, but I knew he was watching me. Every time I leaned forward and tilted my face toward him, his left eyelid began to twitch, and when I let myself sink back into the seat, the twitching stopped.

This raised the question of why the old man was watching me. Was he doing it of his own accord or at the behest of someone else? No matter how I turned the question, I found no answer, and so I decided to let the espionage slide. As long as I remained cautious and did not expose myself, nothing could happen. After all, it was just an old man.

I looked out of the fogged window pane. The bus was rolling through a barren landscape. Trees stood lonely, shrouded in mist. The earth threw small waves like a puckered brown skirt. Gray clouds obscured the sun, which emitted a strange light, like a grease stain on blotting paper. Nice place, I thought, and meant it. The dirty, barren, the lonely had always held a strange attraction for me.

My enjoyment was soon disturbed, however, by a young girl. She could hardly have been older than sixteen and wore an old-fashioned, teal dress that reminded me of church. The girl sat down next to the old man, at the window, directly opposite me. I eyed her rather shamelessly from top to bottom.

>>18392131
why

>>18392131
How do you have such a reaction to text on a screen or is it your own image that the mind created?

>>18392144
Because it's casual first person use contractions. e.g. "As long as I remained cautious and DIDN'T expose myself"

Don't repeat the word barren in the third paragraph when describing the place.

The words "I thought, and meant it" are useless and awkward. We are reading it from his perspective. He would just comment "nice place" and the following sentence explains the idea of "this place is fucking awful but it's weird and I like that" well enough.

What enjoyment was disturbed? He was just spending a bunch of time dealing with a strange homeless man.

Why is he riding a greyhound? Who is the girl? Where are they going?

Overall there's a mix between you trying to make it seem like a casual narration and the transitional notions of a given standard prose. Stick with one. A barren landscape brings up thoughts of a desert with shrubs, not lonely trees. Trees imply grass and life. But I get the idea. If it's misty, how can he see the trees?

We had solid ground under our feet again! I felt like an old sea dog after sailing around the world four times. Susy, my traveling companion, looked significantly less young and fun than before the trip. Somewhere between hours six and seven, her feigned vomiting had turned into a serious case. We walked up the little hill with the others, in lines of two, like in elementary school, and I patted Susy's shoulder encouragingly and said, "Your eyes look really puffy, dear."

The first thing that caught my eye when I entered the general's room was a bit of trapdoor sticking out from under the Persian carpet. I paid no further attention to the life-threatening danger, marched across the carpet in salute, and took up post in front of the general's desk.

"My dear Corporal Johanson," the general began, weighing every word, "I am pleased, exceedingly pleased, to welcome you to my humble domicile (here he made a sweeping gesture with his arms). I take it you have weathered the battle well?" A fatherly smile spread across his old man's face. Wondering what answer would most likely help my advancement, I tried to buy some time for reflection, turned to the large painting above the fireplace and pretended to study every detail with interest. "You, too, are a lover of art, Johanson?" asked the General, after he had risen and come over to me and put his bear-like hand on my shoulder. Then he began to speak in professorial tone, "La Guerra y el Castell. Vinzente Pizzanetto, 1712, Milan. A fabulous painting..." He built little pauses into his lecture to give me a chance to slip in little asides, but I didn't. I was far too busy trying to think of an ideal answer to the General's first question. "It is one of the earliest examples of the Spanish-Italian style which we later find perfected in Valesquez. You will agree with me that, in embryo, everything is already contained here..."

While he was waiting for my aside and while I was mulling over my answer, there was a hard knock on the door. The general whirled around, almost slapping me in the face with the hand that came off my shoulder in the process.

>>18390163
>Any suggestions welcome, whatever comes to mind.
What do you have written for the story so far? If it's from the ayylien perspective, make it vague and cryptic. Maybe the humans are withholding information or intentionally being vague. Could also pull it off with a curious rookie not informed of their true intentions on the planet and thus you could do the same thing with them. Write the damn story first, and focus about the lore later.

>>18386821
What do you mean?

books are for losers. graphic novels is where it's at

how much of a trope is assisted suicide companies in the future?

>>18394251
About this much of a trope
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WeWillHaveEuthanasiaInTheFuture

>>18394324
hell they even left out some like lethal chambers from king in yellow. but thanks i wanted to make it an execution thing anyways

>>18393693
Almost fell into just worldbuilding without creating a story it's a disease.

>>18394522
perish

>>18394539
Rude

>>18386688
I wasn't sure where else to put this and I don't want to make a thread.
For the past few months, I have been working on a topic that is near and dear to my heart and which has not gotten much real interest. Obviously, I can't go into any real detail but I would like to get published in an academic journal. The subject is philosophy. I am studying physics so I have not the faintest clue what academics look for in a humanities paper. I've somewhat treated my work as I would a physics text so I believe it should meet whatever standards of rigor.
Is anyone with experience in this willing to give some advice? Thanks friends.

>Why yes, the love interest in my novel IS chubby. Why do you ask?

>>18394790
If your school has professors related to that subject on campus send an email asking for a chat. How far have you gotten towards finishing that paper? Including getting proper citations.

looking for feedback on the latest scene from my visual novel. Would love to hear some constructive critique on my style of writing.
https://youtu.be/clpke0INIpc

Any tips on writing character ensembles? What should I keep in mind when devising it?

>>18395278
Lost is a bad tv show

>>18395283
yes, that doesn't answer the question

>>18395213
It made me laugh.

>>18395300
yes it does

>>18395352
>Q: Any tips on writing character ensembles?
>A: Lost is a bad tv show
got it, thanks

>>18395362
Lost is a bad tv show and should be a prime example what to do. There you go retard

>>18395027
Thanks anon, I'll give it a go. I haven't reached out to any professors yet as it is a different department and I haven't interacted with them but I suppose it can't hurt.
I have a significant number of handwritten pages which I'll have to compile and cut down on but other than that, I think I'm fairly close to finishing up. Just have to make it presentable and have some friends read over it I suppose. I've also made sure to keep on top of the citations.

>>18395335
you have no idea how much that means to me! :3

>>18395397
Not me :3

Is a good female protagonist just a male but the opposite gender?

>>18395485
oh for fucks sake where do you people keep finding this shit advice
not to be rude to you or nothing. it's fine that you don't know any better, i just really want to know why this question keeps popping up.
Short answer is no.
Long answer is that men and women are different, obviously.
Do you think that male characters are just better protagonists? Have you ever thought about what makes them good? I'd bet that what you're seeing is a bunch of male protagonists who are driven to complete their goals and react to the things that happen to them. And then your addled brain is seeing the low-quality brick-wall absolute-flat dime-a-dozen boring ass dim-witted lucky-bastard mary sue bitches that have become so common these days and assuming that this is what a female character must always be.
Thing is that being proactive and reacting to events are universal traits. You don't have a male character to do those things and they tend to be common in good protagonists.

>>18392008
Yes, I published 10 shitty non fiction books and I gross $40 a month

>>18395391
Good if your school has a writing center/resources hit them up .

>mfw i just became enlightened and realized commas are useless

>>18395822
Explain.

I wrote a poem in a depressed mood. Feel free to shit on it.


Brand new layer of paint, coating the shell of something great.

This color, a beautiful shade of blue, said to be something special to you.

I'm not fooled.

Chipping away, back to grey, the form it was yesterday.

You liked this shade the most, is this true? It's cruel, making things up, changing the look, trying to rid doubt.

What pigment will conceal what it lacks? Doesn't matter, it'll always come back.

>>18396080
sounds like he took the stream of consciousness pill
best of luck with that shit

>>18387044
ina is the best hololive girl by far.

>>18395419
that's ok. I hope you find something that does.

>>18386688
>Any progress on your novels?
Yes, I'm done now. I was never going to become the next Faulkner, the next Nabokov or the next Joyce, but I hid behind the language barrier to avoid criticism for months, maintaining an illusion that was fun to live in while it lasted. I had thought my country's education system to be topmost in the world, but this turned out to be utter bollocks. A child of 18, a person ten years my junior, has a greater vocabulary than I, who had to look up the word “topiary”, and no one likes the expression theory of art anymore, I am likened to a long lost dinosaur.
This will be my final post on /lit/. I've been humiliated and exposed as a fraud. My writing is pretentious, infantile, banal drivel. My observations are dull, my language grade school level. My tenses are mixed up; I use colloquialisms, ellipses and onomatopoeia. I mix tired and trite idioms together to obfuscate their unoriginality with a veneer of irony; I have continued to recite ornate Jewish chimpanzee parables with diminishing returns. The parable seemed very clearly to me to be asking me whether or not the now-grown-adult can choose. I say yes, of course, but that's not my issue.
I was never cut out for writing. I began writing my "book" on January 6th. Since then I've produced 96 thousand words for it. These words are a tide of garbage without value, without insight, without form. The themes of time, space, infinity, memory and pointless duelling are not present in my work. It was never real writing, it was anime and weebshit!
Story arcs, character arcs, narrative arcs, these are all outdated terms. You say what you hear, and only the anime fandom uses the term “arc” anymore. I am a toad! Look how many words I wrote, because apparently literature is bodybuilding and just aimlessly typing will somehow improve my writing. My appetites grew as I wrote, I set a goal of a 100 thousand words when I began, only for the cancerous growth to demand a 137 thousand words soon enough to be completed, and still I don't even know what genre it is that I'm writing. Is it autofiction? A comedy? A picaresque? Am I merely shitposting edgelord-triggering diarrhea in neo-emo gothic revivalist gestalt? Not even the most fundamental of a writer’s skills, phonetics, were known to me, as I trusted in story and character rather than language itself.
Regardless, I have failed. I have put down my pen. Never again will my fingers click-clack across the keyboard. No more outlines, no more characters. Goodbye

>>18396497
if you can manage to write like this idk what ur complaining about

Submitted to editor payed out of my own pocket, waiting for the feedback... this is an interesting limbo of waiting.

>>18396497
If your book reads like that please burn it. Impossible to get through even that short post.

>>18396827
>>18396963
The duality of man

>>18397118
No just one >>18396827 being impressed by the ridiculous prose of an untalented brainlet and one >>18396963 not.

>>18397158
Anon if you don't recognize the pasta it's your own damn fault

>>18397158
This text, a copypasta by the way, you lout, has been read by more people than your complete works. Nothing that is used regularly is evil, you dog.

>>18397181
Not an argument.

>>18397158
>untalented brainlet
I personally feel rather proud of how I was able to combine elements from several different people's posts over time.
The phonetics guy from a couple threads back is the latest addition.

>>18397211
Keep in mind that the phonetics guy is the author of Wish Mountain.

>>18397211
>proud of synthesising copypasta
I changed my mind, you are a brainlet.

>>18397215
Well at least he does something

i've always wanted to be a writer, just like Stephen King, but all the big publishers keep on rejecting my stuff! Horror, fantasy, epic, no matter what I write, they reject! I think I may give erotica a shot (just like Peter Griffin did lol) I just wrote this this morning, will you please review and rate me?

>>18397231
Yep, he definitely gets the participation award.

oh yeah, I'm on page 2 of my book about human resources

"Write as you speak, that is, with the natural voice." I don't get it. What is the natural voice? A written word is very different from a spoken word. In a book you are not conversing with others, you are monologuing. But I don't talk to myself in everyday life. I talk to one person like this, to another person like that, at work in one tone of voice, in my private life in another tone of voice. What is my natural tone of voice? My working language or my private language? And why shouldn't there also be a book language that is different again. If the only connecting link is myself, then everything I say or write is my natural language. I write differently when I intend to write "naturally" than when I think of nothing at all and just write. If I just write, without thinking, then it makes a difference whether I read Poe or Hammett beforehand. Aaaaahh

>>18397234
Not bad. You should write yaoi

>>18386688
I want to write stories which are fun, but I feel I'm too much of a brainlet to have anything meaningful to say, so I fear my book if ever published will just be written off as meaningless drivel because my smooth brain can't seem to write anything with actual substance behind it. Or at least, comparatively to my peers who seem to know more about shit than I do. I just wanted to have some fun adventures with a likeable cast, I don't think I could pull off the "It's an allegory for the apartheid" or what have you. I can do morals, I can do themes and shit, but my friend the other day said that a story was "A eulogy for the loss of innocence" and it was like... well when you say it I can kind of see it but I'd have never thought to say it like that but it just rolls off of his tongue like it was obvious and-

Maybe I'm just a hack of a writer to be honest
Thank you for coming to my vent

At the bar sits a woman. She is wearing a certain item of clothing characterized by the expression of form and color. It clings to her body in a way which complements her physical attributes, if not enhancing them. I do detect no especial deception, however.

"Hello," she says and her lips are like two firehoses and not red. "Buy me a drink?"

I slide in facsimile of suavity into the barstool next to her and place my elbow with a carefully manicured sprezzatura upon the bar, leaning slightly inwards, one shoulder higher than the other. I make eye contact, ensuring that I keep my eyes hooded at precisely the correct angle of descent in order to promote the impression of a certain degree of lasciviousness, seduction, or even eroticism.

"I would like to buy you a drink," I say, and the words that come out of my mouth are like the sound honey would make in motion to a bee, or perhaps a hummingbird. "What would you like to drink?"

She looks at me and her face is composed of two eyes, a nose, her lips like a pair of dancing firehoses left unattended under great pressure, and her hair--of a natural color--is arranged such that it spills from above her forehead into a certain configuration which bears the marks of intent, if not design. "I would like to drink a strong alcoholic beverage. My intention is to become as inebriated as possibly I can become."

"Oh?" I ask. "What would you happen to be fleeing from?"

She looks away and her hair plays coy like a vine does in shade. "I would rather not say."

"That's alright," I say. "Bartender. I would like to arrange for the procurement of two alcoholic beverages of sufficient strength in order for my woman friend here to momentarily experience some relief from an internal experience which I will continue to allow to elude me. A woman must have her secrets," I say, winking at the bartender.

"Very well, sir," the bartender says. "Which variety of alcoholic beverage would you like to partake in?"

I must think for a moment. I consider myself to be something of a minor expert in the identification and enumeration of alcoholic beverages. Like a panorama the names ergo symbols taken to be representative of alcoholic beverages flash across my vision and mind. Arnold Palmer. Long Island Iced Tea. Scotch. Vodka. Highball martini. Dry martini. I find it difficult to... at this point in time... perhaps due to a nascent and aggravating sensation of arousal which propagates from my chest down on to a region best left undescribed, even to myself... "I would like to order two glasses of your finest brandy."

“Brandy is an excellent choice.” The tender procures the bottle of brandy and asks, "Can you please provide to me an estimation of how much liquid you would like to populate these containers? to which I hope I raise no objection in the selection thereof. It was an arbitrary decision, and one easily undone."

>>18398119
You're killing me anon

>>18398119
This is how I write when I'm just letting everything shit out into the page as some people propone. Wrote it in ten minutes. Should I just roll with it?

anyone know if either of these are any good?

>>18398125
psycho incel killer prose
have every one of your stories end with the protagonist murdering a woman

>>18398040
>I want to write stories which are fun
>meaningless drivel
watch more anime. if you want to just write.tm then do so

>>18398352
I definitely considered it for the piece of which this may end up being a component, but it strikes me as a little too predictable. I was thinking I might let this style carry on for a bit, culminating in a similarly mechanical depiction of a sex act, after which they start talking like human beings about something significant or poignant or whatever. I could maybe swing it as a caricature of impersonal, casual sex.

>>18398040
Why are you going for external story, be it contemporary social commentary or *philosophical essay on big things in life`. Write what resonates with you.

Also https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtIzMaLkCaM

>>18398401
>You think writing is conveying your ideas, it's not
the entire classic literary cannon btfo

The alley was a dead end, a wall of brick and mortar that rose three stories. James cursed under his breath as he groped around in the darkness for anything he could use: a bottle, a broom handle, a length of chain. There was nothing. A billboard on the main drag through town proudly declared they were building cleaner, safer cities. What a joke.

He heard it then. The rattling was getting closer. He could hear its scales scraping and dragging against concrete. James turned to the entrance of the alley and pressed his body against the shadows of the wall, trying to make himself as small as possible.

The first thing he saw was the long, slender appendage. It gleamed and glittered under the street lamps. James could smell the fetid stench of rot and decay as it pulled its grotesque and deformed body into view. It horrible figure was bathed in that sickly orange glow.

James clapped his hand over his mouth as it drew nearer. It was no use. He screamed as it lunged down the alley with a cry from the depths of Hell. It fell on deaf ears.

The ship arrived in Hamburg harbor on the early morning of a hot July day and discharged its passengers, among whom was to be found a certain Mr. Markwart. This gentleman who had been transferred to northern Germany for reasons of profession, now handed over all his luggage, together with a hefty tip, to the waiting hotel clerk and began to wander up and down the promenade with quick steps and a discontented expression.

The hotel clerk's name was Julius Haeffs and he was a young but trustworthy man. He immediately brought the unusually heavy suitcases to the hotel, deposited them in Markwart's hotel room on the fourth floor, and, on his return to the lobby, prompted by Markwart's strange behavior, asked the concierge the name, origin, and occupation of the new guest. In addition to the name, Julius learned that the guest had come from Manchester, would be staying at the hotel for a few weeks, and did not seem to have any profession.

Meanwhile, Markwart had entered the hotel, his cheeks flushed from his walk, and after a brief introduction to the concierge, he disappeared to his room, which he would not leave again until the evening. Before the two clerks went back to their work, Julius called attention to the small black package Markwart had carried under his arm. This package was strange in that Markwart must have bought it at the harbor in the short time he had been there, while the black paper wrapping suggested the burial gift for a funeral.

>>18398419
If your writing just conveys what you have to say to the readers, it's a book bought for study or work.

>>18398401
>Write what resonates with you.
What resonates with me is a howling out against the world postmodernism has brought about. I want to write non-stories which flail around viciously at things permanently out of reach and in the end accomplish nothing but the flailing itself. I want to write things where the appearance of sense and intention fall away completely under even rudimentary scrutiny because this is how I believe groups of humans inherently operate. That's what resonates with me.

>>18398435
Instead of writing against what you dislike, how about you write what you want the world to be?

>>18398442
I like the howling.

>>18398442
That would be too incriminating.

>>18398401
charismatic lecturer
thanks anon

I have chapters one and three of a book done. Yes, one and three. I skipped chapter two at first because I wanted to get critique on chapter three. Chapter two is more of a bridge that establishes setting than anything else with chapter three actually starting to be important. I'm about to start work on Chapter 2. Literally as soon as I finish posting this and down the last of my coffee. I swear: writers function on booze and coffee. I know I do.

>>18398466
If we can trust a word Nabokov says, and I'm not sure he's anything more than a trickster at heart, he has said that one of his primary methods of writing was the combination of index cards with dictation to his wife, who would do the actual physical writing... as he laid in bed. Point being, there's nothing that says you need to write your story linearly.

>>18398424
This is one of those where I think to myself
"I like this, but I wouldn't have written it the same@

>>18398401
>why do people like me get to say what knowledge is
>I'm just an old white guy
>amirite minorities
this guy seems kind of full of shit. especially since he seems to be mainly talking about academic papers

For some time now I had suspected Reginald of wrongdoings, but now I was beginning to fear my own life was in danger.
What makes a man, is it the power in his hand? Is it his quest for glory? Is it the woman in his arms, just because she has big titties? Or is it the way the fights every day?
No, it's probably the titties. Reginald never understood this. He was, as they say, a sodomite.
Now I'm as curious as any other man of the modern world, and seeing as we were both bachelors I saw nothing out of the ordinary in a little experimentation. He had invited me over, smelling of cologne, cheap scotch and lust, and my rosebud twitched in anticipation as I went to his house, bringing with me some chili oil for lube. I'm raunchy, so sue me!
But what I discovered in Reginald's house went far beyond mere sodomy. In his study, where he led me, I found an infernal machine of foreign make, an eerie light shining from the window set in it. When Reginald ran to fetch his latex gloves I studied this device more closely, and there I saw what he had been up to.
>If your book reads like that please burn it. Impossible to get through even that short post.
>No just one being impressed by the ridiculous prose of an untalented brainlet and one not.
>Not an argument.
>I changed my mind, you are a brainlet.
As I said, I am not a close-minded man, but even I have my limits. His faggotry could not be countenanced any further. I knew he would never lay hands on a woman as I read the words he had written, not even if a woman presented herself to him. I had to flee. I still had feelings towards wondrous femininity.
But what of Reginald? What will become of him? Of what darkness is this man capable of?
I shudder to think on it.

>>18398555
This isn't even a good caricature. It's a poorly written caricature of poor writing, and fails on every level.

>>18398548
He's also talking about more or less universal things that apply to news, fiction, etc.

im stuck at the middle of my book, how do u guys cope with this

>>18398565
I'll watch the whole thing before I make any final comments but he seems completely cucked
he's addressing academic papers and his whole entire premise is that academic papers rely on rhetoric to get attention and success

>>18398572
Rewrite the beginning.

>>18398560
>This isn't even a good caricature. It's a poorly written caricature of poor writing, and fails on every level.
Reginald sent me his latest messages via carrier pigeon. I did not want to read them, but what choice did I have? He seemed to scarcely rest, his words filling those small strips of papyrus with rude, full-scale jokes. Basho, he named himself - banana tree. A man of infinite jest, or least so in his own mind. A critic extraordinaire, arbiter elegantiarum, one to dictate tastes and mores that others must abide by.
I would not. I could not. I took his messages and made a scrapbook of them. The smell of glue, the wetness of the papyrus and paper as they met through a layer of the stuff, this was how I kept myself sane in those days. My fingers grew black as the glue dried on them, and the tips were harder than callouses. I should've washed, but no. I wanted something real, something concrete, to show for my work in compiling Reginald's inane ramblings into coherent wholes. Coherent to me at any rate. You must understand padre, the lead from the pipes and the paint on the walls of our houses was driving us all quite mad, we thought ourselves, well we thought ourselves writers, if you can believe such things, artists.
A crab he called me once, padre. A crab. A crustacean, dragging him down. But could he not see? If I were a crab in a bucket, trying to prevent his escape, must he himself not also be a crab to be in the bucket with me?
All I wanted was his cock up my arse for a bit, but instead he plunged a hot iron into the pool of my radiance. Remember Sammy Jenkis.

>>18398598
It's non-fiction, self-help.

>>18398605
The funny part about this is that you're actually trying to "write well" in the way you think people who don't just suck academic cock try to write. You don't even do it well. The whole point you're trying to make rests on the implication of "look, I can do it too but I don't!" but it falls flat because you actually can't. It reads like a crab trying to make sure nobody escapes the bucket. I don't see any discernable talent for the artistry and craft of prose. Granted, your sentences make sense and are mostly grammatically correct, but there's no sense for the flow and lyricism which characterizes the prose of the great stylists. It's not a good look, my man. It just makes you seem like a mediocre writer bitter about your lack of innate talent. Might want to examine that!

>>18398621
>It's self-help
ironic

>>18398639
Okay this is way too long there's no way I'm picking this up

>>18398479
I don't think I'd write that non-linear. Lol. But yeah, you are right. And editing can change the order of things pretty heavily sometimes between first draft and final cut.

>>18398401
I don't know why you posted this. this is a lecture on how to succeed in academic spheres with effective academic writing
>disregard the universal
>appeal to the rhetoric of a community
>make it impersonal
it's probably a great video for students looking to have a good academic career but it's absolutely worthless to creative writers. there's probably a video almost exactly like this one out there somewhere which addresses creative writing to an audience but it's not something anyone who respects writing as a medium should buy into
foul mentality. I understand why an educator would want his students to thrive in a corrupt setting but this is no different than a RR author telling people to include fat tits and overpowered anime powers to drum up attention and make patreon money

I assume you either have terrible comprehension skills and completely misinterpreted this video, or you're a corporate brainwashed american who believes the value of any and all things can be reduced to how many sales it makes

>>18398605
>>18398639
>crab this, crab that
And this is why generals are cancer (no pun intended). You develop your own lingo and then it becomes a circlejerk where people think exclusively in terms of the words they come up with.
Stop using the word crab, it has a negative effect on your own thinking.

>>18398715
>You develop your own lingo
not exactly a new term and not coined by any chan
it's the nature of communities to identify and term aspects within their own community

>>18398715
The crab is out of the bucket. What do you do now, motherfucker? Can't isekai yourself out of this one!

>>18398645
What do you mean fren? It has a concept, actually a spine to follow through, it’s a divine map to sort internal conflicts.

>>18390163
>humans
kys

>>18398753
I will use the power of anime.

>>18398519
Some guy shitposted the pic earlier asking for a story and got jannied so I thought I'd oblige him

>>18398753
>>18398797

> Be like Charles Dickens and write serially
>https://www.royalroad.com/
Never been on RR but I've heard it recommended before. Is it a worthwhile effort to help a writing career gain traction/build up a following or is it a meme? The home page makes it seem like it's a bunch of weebs jerking each other off.

>>18398698
>not hearing the good parts of it
>Respect your and your reader's time, there's no reason to include inconsenquential characters or plot points.
>Know what your prose tells others through knowing the key words
>Tension drives the interest, who wants wants to know how good someone else's day was
And others.

>>18398904
>writing career
Worry about the actual writing first.

>>18398907
I write all the time and have for years, I want to know if this is a worthwhile place to post it or if I'm going to have a bunch of weebs crying because I didn't include a harem of big titty succubi to a story.

>>18398904
>it's a bunch of weebs jerking each other off
correct
if you're not a weeb trying to make money off RR would be like any other job. maybe worse if you have a sense of dignity

>>18398906
>I assume you either have terrible comprehension skills and completely misinterpreted this video
so the former. there's nothing wrong with abstracting your own interpretations and conclusions from any given source but don't act like the ghosts in your head will appear for anyone else

>>18398924
That's what I figured. Guess I'll stick to contests and magazines.

>>18398929
Learning to find useful info in various sources is a good skill. Did you look forward to something straightforward, like Sanderson's lectures or something?

>>18398941
I was looking forward to a lecture relevant to the topic at hand, possibly even related to what you said in post
not schizo babble about how academic career advice is actually creative writing advice

>>18398929
But making ghosts in your head appear in someone else's imagination is exactly what writers do.

>>18398906
>Respect your and your reader's time, there's no reason to include inconsenquential characters or plot points.
if there is one single person in all of humanity i hold in particular contempt, it is this abstract and apocryphal "reader" of mine who wants to insert his shitty opinions into everything i do and whose demands for pandering like a toddler are taken to be the literal essence and structure of objective fact. really, if i could meet "my reader," i would reach immediately for my gun and, regardless of any following consequence, permanently erase him from anything he ever is, was, or will be.

>>18398986
based in vacuo writer

>>18398904
>https://www.royalroad.com/
How do you even make money off that? Something like Substack or just a website with a Patreon makes more sense to me. Am I missing something?

>>18399098
RR has good algos for getting readers to you and the community actually looks at shitter stuff so you get a reader base and link it to patreon

>>18399098
>How do you even make money off that?
by getting lucky and by being good at social media. success on RR has almost nothing to do with the quality of the writing itself, as you'll see by looking at the most successful series. it's basically just monetizing a userbase with the lowest of low standards.

I'm learning about how black people do greetings. Not only do they speak their own AAVE dialect, but they add in extra hand gestures, facial, and vocal movements

https://youtu.be/mkYiOH1fVmQ

>>18399117
but why?
why does this information matter?

>>18399115
>>18399114
So the only advantage above just posting your stuff on a personal site then linking it on social media is an algo on their search engine? I also take it that only lowest common denominator trash like harem issekai works there. Right?

What other options exist for getting your stuff out there? Besides traditional publishing, anyway.

>>18399146
>harem issekai works there
it competes with litRPG for dominance. it's a shithole.

>>18399129
I want to write authentic characters in Blackula, as far as my abilities will allow me anyway

>>18399153
Any places out there that are not shitholes?

>>18399129
hes a cuck whos writing about the inherent nobleness of the black race. an insane racist basically
>>18399117
https://www.academia.edu/34124467/Outline_of_AAVE_grammar
I don't know why you're taking the hard way through this. with the absolute state of america there's almost certainly plenty of studies on ebonics for you to read

>>18399114
Is there an audience for material that doesn't have a dedicated category on the site? Crime noir, for example.

>>18399176
not really but if you don't give a shit about patreonbux you'll probably get some readers
I was able to get 50~ views a chapter when I tried serial writing and while it was fantasy it wasn't genre fiction
if you just want to share then RR is fine

>>18399146
It also has an existing audience you can tap into to grow your own, which is why I asked about it in the first place. I too would love to know a non-groundling equivalent.

>>18396497
97 thousand now. All these words, and I have yet to find a righteous man.

I've been reading a lot of Nietzsche, Sellars and Wittgenstein and I had an idea for an essay or short book which would in brief, cover the following points.

1 - The Criterion Argument of Sextus Empiricus shows that the Truth is never more than an infinite regress, an arbitrary axiom or circular self-validation. The writing that follows is true, but only for a certain Soul, only under a certain criterion.

2 - The Private language argument in Wittgenstein is not a destruction of private sensations and experience in favor of outwardly displayed social behavior, but rather a true mysticism of private sensation. Private sensations cannot be talked about within language, but yet they are experienced anyway. They cannot be entered as facts or concepts in rational cognition but undoubtedly sway our decisions. They cannot be said to exist as a statement in language, but they exist. If Truth is ultimately arbitrary and no criterion is better than the other, then the only thing that factors into any decision of what is True is mere disposition, character. What is the feeling of a certain color? What internal forces were in play when a choice was made? What is the feeling of pain? None can be described in language, which only touches behavior. They cannot be said, but can be shown. The summation of these experiences, which cannot be separated from one another except by concepts which they themselves do not contain, is the Soul. The Soul and what it contains is determined in a method almost like Negative Theology, we observe what is left out of language.

3 - The Soul is NOT the Ego or the Self. It is not self-consciousness. The Soul is never experienced by the Soul in the same way that the Eye never sees itself. The Soul is not object-directed. The sensations of the Soul are not “about” anything until the introduction of language and therefore concepts. The Soul IS the pre-linguistic existence. It cannot be talked about

4 - Science and Philosophy are the twin alienations of the Soul from its own capabilities. The Soul is the ultimate reason why anything is True or False, the genetic element that determines what is sufficient to prove any claim and what criterion is correct to operate under. Science and Philosophy both carry alien notions of the Truth separate from any Soul and reify a single standard of Truth beyond and above the Soul that determines it. They both force the Soul to bow to its own creation, the Truth and deny the Soul’s ability to create.

5 - The Soul never dies, not because its existence is infinite in time (although it may be?) but because death, the end of experience, is not something that is itself experienced. A helpful analogy is the way that the visual field has no visible edge, as if it did, something on the other side would need to be visible.

>>18399297
6 - One may find themselves in great distress when Truth is revealed to an effect of a Soul, of the character and disposition of the Truth-sayer, but this can be alleviated. The sickness of Philosophy and Science is due to a craving for universality and generality. Once this craving is let go of, Ataraxia can be attained. Ataraxia is the feeling upon realizing that although the Soul is finite and limited, there is no greater vantage point, no absolute standard, nothing above it to compare it to, to belittle it in comparison to.

Is this worth at least writing or is it too dumb?

>>18399174
It's not enough to study grammar, you have to use AAVE the way that real black people use it. Look at the country club threads on r/BlackPeopleTwitter. You cannot replicate this by using standard English and then changing to black grammar. They have their own unique thought processes and behaviors.

For example, black people will rap to their spouses
https://www.reddit.com/r/BlackPeopleTwitter/comments/ntl9zc/you_gotta_support_your_mans_ladies/

This black person says fax instead of facts
https://www.reddit.com/r/BlackPeopleTwitter/comments/ntmhzd/straight_fax_my_guy/

>>18388676
holy based

>>18388676
Take your eceleb faggotry elsewhere

>>18388676
nice fucking s*y beard you gigantic vagina

Why, yes, I do publish on RR, how did you know?

Mike cautiously peered out from behind the tree that served as his camouflage. The knight in black armor was still standing in front of the hanging bridge. A man-sized sword stood beside him in the grass. The weapon was gigantic, forged for dragon slaying. "Doesn't look like he's going anywhere soon," Mike thought. And there was no other way across the river. If he didn't reach the village in two hours... Mike didn't want to think about what would happen then. He had to make it across the bridge. No matter the cost.

Concentrating was easier said than done. The giant sword danced through his head, slashing his ideas to pieces. "Think Mike, think. He's got armor on and he's got to drag that sword around...if I run fast enough, I should actually...assuming I can draw him out a little, otherwise he'll hit me as I run by." At the thought of being hit by the sword, Mike's face turned into a terrified grimace. He saw himself flying in two at the beltline and dramatically plopping off the bridge into water - one half down the left side, the other down the right.

Mike ran through a few other ideas - like hiding behind a tree and waiting for the knight to go to the loo or get hungry - but there wasn't enough time for such maneuvers. He had to lure the knight out somehow and then get past him.

>>18399667
Original
>It was much too big to be called a sword. Massive, thick, heavy and far too rough. Indeed, it was more like a heap of raw iron
RR knock off
>A man-sized sword stood beside him in the grass. The weapon was gigantic, forged for dragon slaying.
Never thought I'd say this but read more anime

>>18399667
like reading a video game

I cannot be original to save my life.
Literally everything I write is just the plot points of the last five things I watched/read remixed into a different order.
Let's not even talk about when I try to come up with a setting.

>>18399667
>Why, yes, I do publish on RR, how did you know?

I came here from /biz/. I started a thread there discussing the fantasy novel I'm writing, but someone linked to this thread.
Is this thread for giving feedback on people's writings?

>>18399980
it's a thread for discussing writing, which occasionally includes sharing
nobody owes you feedback but it wouldn't hurt to post. not unless you intend to send it to a publisher, in which case keep that shit to yourself and hire a professional editor

>>18399980
Yes, but only if you have proper dialogue tags.

9999

>>18399999
based

>>18399999
Checked.

>>18399998
I already post my the chapters of my novel on my website when they're finished. So no harm sharing it here then.
https://barricadedrealm.com/index.html
>nobody owes you feedback
That goes without saying. If someone chooses to read, what I'm particularly interested in is the style between different chapters. Odd chapters follow character A, while odd chapters follow character B. Character A's chapter are written in first person and present tense, whereas B's are past tense and third person. Is this a dumb and confusing idea?

>>18399999 Checked
What's a dialogue tag?

>>18399998
>not unless you intend to send it to a publisher, in which case keep that shit to yourself and hire a professional editor
Why? Do people steal works here? And if so what makes that more dangerous than something that you plan on self publishing

>>18400053
>What's a dialogue tag?
Please, I don't want any more talking dog images...

>>18400055
it's just paranoia. if you post a pastebin link that expires automatically after a period of time, there's little to no way that anyone will ever be able to tell that it was posted here... if that even matters, which is pretty far from a sure thing.

>>18400055
publishers don't take anything that's been posted online
there was someone who would save well written things that were posted here and cross post them to other threads and who knows where else to claim that he wrote them

>>18400078
> well written things that were posted here
Yeah that never happened

>>18400064
I did an internet search. I have dialogue tags. I hate it when when a book doesn't clarify who's speaking. My punctuation regarding dialogue might not be correct though. I'll have to fix it later.

>>18399667
A lot of words to say nothing.
>Mike's face turned into a terrified grimace
Just say "Mike grimaced." Also, ditch the name Mike, it's boring and immediately takes you out of the setting. It'd be like having him introduce himself as Steve or Billy. If anything call him Michael. Finally, thats a questionable strategy posting a lukewarm Berserk parody on RR.

>>18399667
>this is who's telling you to stop worrying about learning how to write and to just do it

>>18400055
Just good housekeeping. Any publisher seriously considering a novel will want exclusive rights and will do research. If they manage to dig up an archived excerpt on an Uzbek Polka forum will likely not only pass on the novel but probably blacklist you in general.

>>18400120
big cope. there is actually and unironically a small handful of pretty fucking talented writers here.

>>18400055
A decade-old reference to /v/ was just removed from Minecraft. What do you think a NYC millennial literary agent thinks of this site?

>>18400200
Oh, do tell who these writers are

>>18400266
if you're insecure enough to need to pretend like i can tell you who these ANONYMOUS POSTERS on an ANONYMOUS IMAGEBOARD are, i'm gonna hazard a guess that you're not one of them

>>18400266
I'm the best writer on this board. Just check back in about 100 years and you will be amazed at how popular my works are.

>>18400266
Me. The answer is me.

>>18400153
>ditch the name Mike
This.

>>18399667
>The giant sword danced through his head, slashing his ideas to pieces.
I dislike this kind of needlessly colorful language. Unless the sword actually impales his head, don't write that the sword dances through his head.

>>18399999
Nice.

Reminder that one of the best ways to do editing is to read out loud what you have written, record it, and then play it back to yourself. This makes it was easier to spot poor sentence structure, pacing issues and coherence.

>>18400266
>the only way someone can produce good writing is if they are already published in my favorite queer literary magazine or they dox themselves on an anonymous image board
Go back to r*ddit

Xiu was sixteen. She lived with her father in one of the subsidized housing estates in Fai Long. Her mother had died of cancer two years ago. By now, Xiu should have been in school. Her father had left early for work and she had felt sick and had called the school. She would have to get a doctor's note later. They could be bought cheaply from old Doctor Li. Li lived two floors above Xiu. He had set up a small practice in his apartment. On the wall behind his desk, Xiu had once seen a rolled-up rice mat. She pressed her face against the window pane. A layer of snow was gathering on the balcony parapets of the apartment buildings opposite. She imagined Li locking the front door in the evening, unrolling the rice mat behind the desk, and lying down with the light on and his clothes on, as if he were going to sleep like that, but in truth he was just lying there, with his eyes closed, waiting to get up again.

I hate fiction writing. Where are my fellow essay chads at?

>>18400272
yeah you're right. It would've been totally impossible to save, bookmark, or archive any of those rare good stories that allegedly exist.

>>18400443
There is no good story, the stories that pseud is talking about are excerpts that are long-winded, over-written, and pretentious, things pseuds would love. Stop taking the bait.

>>18400443
why the fuck would i do that? i'm not going to steal someone else's shit.
>>18400452
you guys are some of the most tiresome retards to ever find your way out of reddit. unreal that you are probably an anime-poster serializing shovel-dreck on royal road for patreon bucks.

>>18400452
The bait is so stupid too.
> yeah there exist good stories here
> what are they?
> I CAN’T TELL YOUUUUU

>>18400468
you're the one super invested in maintaining the illusion that you are the only TruWriter™ here and everyone else is a """"pseud"""". big crab bucket mentality going on with you my man!

>>18400475
I never said I was a true writer. That was another anon. There are multiple here, you see. I'm the anon who asked you for samples of the supposed good writing that was posted here

>>18399305
>Is this worth at least writing or is it too dumb
Write what you want to read, why is this so hard to grasp?

>>18400481
maybe you should go back to r*ddit where the kind gentlemen there might feel slightly more obligated to force feed you the things you want, you whiny little faggot.

>>18400441
how?

>>18400440
Reads like a droning greentext.

>>18400579
How to do what?

>>18400592
Better?

Xiu was sixteen and lived with her father in one of the subsidized housing estates in Fai Long. Her mother had died of cancer two years ago. By now, Xiu should have been in school. Her father had left early for work and she had felt sick and had called the school. She would have to get a doctor's note later. They could be bought cheaply from old Doctor Li, who lived two floors above Xiu. He had set up a small practice in his apartment and on the wall behind his desk, Xiu had once seen a rolled-up rice mat. She pressed her face against the window pane. A layer of snow was gathering on the balcony parapets of the apartment buildings opposite. She imagined Li locking the front door in the evening, unrolling the rice mat behind the desk, and lying down with the light on and his clothes on, as if he were going to sleep like that, but in truth he was just lying there, with his eyes closed, waiting to get up again.

>>18400606
Reads like a droning greentext.

>>18400603
How can you like writing essays? I don't mind it too much, but I don't find it enjoyable.

>>18400468
Mostly pseuds trying to derail the thread. They often do it, especially whenever animefags and self-publishing anons have some success. Just best to ignore them.

>>18400606
let your writing breathe a little for fuck's sake. it feels really generic and interchangeable with any other selection of restrained, safe prose that follows all the rules.

>>18400619
Can't you ever shut up about your anime, faggot?

>>18400612
I guess I just like taking a set of facts and turning it into something coherent and well-argued.

>>18400633
How about you write, instead of shitting up the general?

>>18400606
Absolutely horrible. This reads like a summary, not a story.

>>18400639
Pseuds don't write.

New Thread

>>18400627
>>18400627
>>18400627

New thread
>>18400656

New thread.

>>18400658
Haha, I beat you to it, Bitch.

>>18400606
quick rearrangement:


Xiu pressed her face against the window pane.
A layer of snow was gathering on the balcony parapets of the apartment buildings.
Her mother had died of cancer two years ago.

Xiu was sixteen and lived with her father in one of the subsidized housing estates in Fai Long. By now, she should have been in school. Her father had left early for work and she had felt sick and had called the school. She would have to get a doctor's note later. They could be bought cheaply from old Doctor Li, who lived two floors above Xiu. He had set up a small practice in his apartment and on the wall behind his desk, Xiu had once seen a rolled-up rice mat.

She imagined Li locking the front door in the evening, unrolling the rice mat behind the desk, and lying down with the light on and his clothes on, as if he were going to sleep like that, but in truth he was just lying there, with his eyes closed, waiting to get up again.

>>18400658
This one.

>>18400688
Holy shit, just give up writing. This is horrible. You're just summarizing the plot, you're not writing a story.

>>18400688
go look in the mirror and read this to yourself in the most droll monotone you can manage, completely devoid of any inflection, and then you'll get a feel for my experience of reading this.

>>18400610
Better?

The sixteen-year-old Xiu lived with her father and the spirit of her dead mother in one of the subsidized housing estates in Fai Long, and though she should have been in school by now, her father having left for work early that morning, Xiu had called in sick, which meant that she would need to buy a doctor's note from old Doctor Lee, who lived two floors above and sold them for cheap in his appartment turned practice, a small room with a desk and a rolled-up rice mat hanging from the wall Xiu once saw in the past, whereas now she saw a layer of snow gathering on the balcony parapets of the apartment buildings opposite, drifting back into the office, she imagined Li locking the front door in the evening, unrolling the rice mat behind the desk, and lying down with the light on and his clothes on, as if he were going to sleep like that, but in truth he was just lying there, with his eyes closed, waiting to get up again.

>>18400713
this is a completely worthless reply. i rewrote the other guy's text and made it much better.

using the same text as
>>18400606
and making only minimal changes, how would you improve it?

>>18400732
>i rewrote the other guy's text and made it much better.

It's literally just as bad.

>and making only minimal changes, how would you improve it?

I would throw it in the trash.

>>18400743
> I would throw it in the trash.
so you can't. I worked with what he provided, and tried to transform what was already there. If you can't work within that caveat, there is no point to critiquing it at all, since you're not suggestion any improvement.

At least write something of your own then, if you want to demonstrate good writing.

>>18400761
> I worked with what he provided, and tried to transform what was already there

And it was just. as. bad.

>>18400481
Lurk more newfag, you know the rules

>>18400768
>>18400767
Why are you pseuds like this?

>>18400767
make it better. or write something from scratch.

>>18400779
I'm already writing something from scratch, moron. I'm not going to share it with you fucks so you can steal it.

>>18400779
You’re wasting your time.

>>18400847
Pathetic excuses.
Write up something NEW right now, or suggest improvements to the anon's text like I did.
>>18400848
Yeah.

>>18400875
You just got to have to ignore the pseuds. They shit up the thread, anon.

>>18400875
>Pathetic excuses.

You can't write. Consider a lower IQ hobby. Maybe Funko Pop collecting would be more your style.

>>18400732
>>18400847
Do you mind if you critique my excerpt? I want to know more, so I can improve.

>>18400734

>>18400899
I, as the first person to make a /wg/ thread after this hit the bump limit, humbly request you to post on >>18400627

>>18400732
>>18400779
Do you mind if you critique my excerpt? I want to know more, so I can improve.

>>18400734

>>18400773
>you are a pseud because I don't know something!
Anon, I...

>>18400443
>why don't you save random anons stories
pervert
people like you are the reason people don't want to share

>>18400688
script writing of never have read a book