/lit/ - Literature

Gardner is someone worthy of a deep dive

>>18352962
Does anyone have a link to download it for free? Kind of curious.

I can't believe I actually bought this meme book

>>18353230
Same. I can’t believe I ended up liking it.

It says 5 posters, but I'm willing to bet that there's at least 2 of these posts (probably 3)belonging to Gardner himself.

>>18353055
>sign up for free trial of kindle unlimited
>cancel free trial after you finished reading them

>>18353297
Gardner doesn’t even know he’s a meme here

>>18353055
No but Call of the Arcade reads surprisingly well. Really crazy book. Probably going to read Crocodile next. Those are the two best right?

>>18353308
kek. I'm surprised Jannie hasn't nuked the thread.

>>18353333
The way it reads is unintentionally hilarious.
>A thud knocks thrice at the young man's door
Might be the funniest sentence ever written. Also:
>Doesn't understand marks.
>Doesn't understand that new speaker means a new paragraph.
>Doesn't understand sentences.
>Doesn't understand fragments.
>Ellipses everywhere.
Gardner would shame your average fanfic writer. Nobody is going to buy his "book" aside for the laughs.

>>18353308
well, that's a lie

>>18353382
Those are all the reasons it’s amazing. Like you said it’s unintentionally hilarious. Like The Room or Troll 2. It’s so over the top and grimdark but reads like a mental patient wrote the thing. I’m still amazed these things even exist.

>>18353392
Not exactly. He tried to shill it here at the beginning. Others have been posting since then. Unless he literally hired a team of people to do this all across the site which isn’t realistic.

>>18353405
The problem is it's unintentional hilarity is in short supply. Most of the times it's just boring and trite. It also means Gardner will never be able to produce more material, since he will not be able to capitalize on the meme aspect of his writing.

>>18353382
>like some cliched horror story
you can really hear just how uncompromisingly stupid this man is in his words. I would be absolutely gobsmacked if Gardner had ever read a single thing past the editions of Goosebumps he refuses to shut up about, as if anyone else gives a fuck about his own life-failure-induced nostalgia. he has no awareness of literature beyond the titles of great works he shoves into his paragraphs to sound smart, declaring clealy that he's too fucking stupid to see how laughable this is.
i feel bad for his parents, whose money he continues to exhaust through 4chan advertisements, especially after his dad basically tried to GIVE him his old gov. job. Gardner really must know absolutely nothing about getting things for himself. he expects everything to be laid out for him so he can just show up and reap the rewards. not surprising considering he's a film student graduate whos only ever heard of videodrome.
the only people he shames are himself and his parents, just like all incompetent children

>>18353414
My man, someone is paying for those banner ads.

>>18353414
he pays for these ads to be up perpetually, and his dad is a rich fuck who tried to give his son his old job-- of course he can pay people to shill for him, but it's much more likely that he just does this shit himself, considering 90% of shills use 90% of the same vernacular, and a quick glimpse at the preview of cotc on amazon will show you Gardner has about 100 words in his vocab.

based

Gardner is quite possibly the stupidest human alive

>>18353285
I can believe it, Frank. I really can.

Any you want!

>>18353424
I just don't get it. I don't understand him. Why? You think he'd have shame.

>>18353457
Shame for what? He’s the most known author ever from this board. His critics just sound like jealous losers.

>>18353457
you have to have a shred of self-respect to feel shame; how can you respect yourself when you're a daddy's boy, a failure, and you have breasts?

>>18353459
>critics are jealous losers
hi frank

>>18353464
>breasts

>>18353459
I'm not jealous of him, I just don't understand him. Frankly, after you release your first book, it's like popping your cherry as far as the publishing industry is concerned, and you're used goods after that.

>>18353472

>>18353459
>Gardner can't use commas
jealous
>Gardner inserts awkward references to books he clearly only skimmed the wiki page of
jealous
>all the characters talk the same, as if they have complete awareness of the story progression
jealousy, obv
>characters narrate their emotions
jealous
>characters come off as alien, and just mouthpieces of the ill-informed author
pffff, jealous much?
>there is no mystery, only tired cliche and an almost embarrassing desperation by the author to have the audience 'get him' without him being able to make himself understood, or having nothing of actual worth to even understand
haha, you're just jealous

color me shocked

>>18353475
>Trying to make sense of a schizo

He fucking thinks the earth is flat.

I like how Gardner has found a way to shill without technically breaking any rules (by giving time between pruned threads, and acting as if he is a reader genuinely interested in the book) so mods won't outright delete these threads, but will slide them anyway.
I just noticed I'm posting and we keep going farther and farther down in pages lol

>>18353518
ngl your ideas of what is memeable is probably even cringier than your terrible fucking books

>>18353382
THIS is what I paid 5 dollars for? Fuck I need to stop getting meme'd. Its Lake Mungo all over again

>>18353494
I know it’s not just him because of the NYC meetup.

>>18353527
>Lake Mungo

Kek that’s an accurate comparison

>>18353414
I post about Gardner’s books because I am his girlfriend (male)

>>18353531
what does this prove?
there are other shills, sure, but this is all pushed mainly by Gardner.
I've been here for years, I've seen plenty of things get meme popularity, these thread have none of those trademarks. if it were completely grassroots every other post would be 'based' with no context, people wouldn't have a vested interest in saving face (Gardner could still be memed as a fucking pathetic loser idiot, but in these threads people always try to qualify their crits by saying "oh, it was so bad it was good" and gay shit like that)

desu I'm convinced moreso that you've just come from the discord I've heard so much about, again just trying to save face. most of the shills don't even sound like they're from 4chan or have any real experience with memes, like >>18353518, it's really pretty unique and recognizable.

Based

>>18353632
Knew this was coming. Probably shouldn’t have been so on-the-nose here >>18353622
you’re just going to learn a few tricks and come back more tenacious than ever.

For real tho, you should take a long hard look in the mirror and tally all the hours wasted on memeing this crap. Your dads gonna freeg

Based

>>18352962
I should known the moment he misspelled "rifle" in the first page of Call of the crocodile, that the author very clearly is an experienced shitposter.

>>18353622
>It was so bad, it's good.
This is something I heard said a lot. Gardner has no future writing, that is certain.
Too many people here know about him, his books can't sell on merit, he will not earn notice on other sites. He's more of a fit for Wattpad honestly, where his advertising cash would have gone a lot further and he would be in that fanfic-tier of writer.
But to the point, the "it's so bad it's good" sentiment only works if you completely lack self-awareness and are utterly arrogant to the art. You cannot replicate that level of stupidity, and Gardner won't be able to since he's now self-aware. My question is this:
Will his next book be total dogshit like the rest, or will he attempt to actually write something?

>>18353414
>Unless he literally hired a team of people to do this all across the site
That's literally what he did

>>18353715
Impossible. You’re implying there’s a round the clock team being paid to gardnerpost? Take your meds.

>>18353749
there are round-the-clock advertisements that literally update after a thread is pruned. all the shills speak in the same vernacular foreign to 4chan, and post the same five pictures.
to believe that there are paid shills doing this is actually just falling back on ockhams razor.

>>18353710
He kinda is. He spams pictures of himself flexing with a v for vendetta mask. He’s like an even more retarded version of Johnny bravo. Someone who think’s he’s all that because of their own delusional ego.

>>18353759
He would have to be some kind of millionaire to do that. That’s fucking dumb.

>>18353764
>He spams pictures of himself flexing with a v for vendetta mask.
jfc Gardner, literally no one believes that's you.

>>18353769
his daddy is a rich lawyer who got a government job, put his fat kid through film school and then, when fat kid couldn't do anything with his degree, tried to get him elected to dad's old position.
Gardner lives on his parents couch, spending their money and not paying rent.
it is definitely dumb, tho, you're right about that

>>18353769
Yea I’m calling BS.

>>18353769
>>18353802
samefag

>>18353055
Gardner doesn't tolerate privacy on this board.

>>18353764
based

I'm going to do a Youtube review of these books for a class project I have. I'll post the video on this board when I'm done.

>>18353815
what do you mean

One more for the road, Gardner, since your thread is auto-saging:
Your books will never make back even a fraction of your investment.

>>18353815
I don't tolerate insults about my husbandu.

>>18353771
Dude he’s posted several pictures of himself.

>>18354419
Dude this is him (you)
He’s a fat child who can’t even wear a suite that fits him lol

>>18354435
Look just below the mask in >>18354419
And compare to >>18354435
This is clearly the same person. Why wouldn’t it be?

>>18354463
The person is the second pic has two chins lol are you trying to use the power of shitposting to change what people see? You seriously need to seek help

>>18354463
>>18354474
Also the guy in the mask has lively hair you fucking retard. Not a joke, kys, you’re doing your parents wrong by wasting their money on this shit

>>18354477
>lively
Curly. Damn, wth is with autocorrect, amirite?

>>18354474
They’re also several years apart. There’s the same freckle near the neck and even the same kind of unshaved beard stubble. You are an idiot.

>>18354477
>Growing out hair/someone getting a haircut is impossible.

Ok this is retarded

>>18354481
>several years apart
careful, you’re blowing your cover
>neck freckle
Nigger, you are legitimately losing your fucking mind, there is no identical neck freckle.

>>18354486
Gardner doesn’t have curly hair. The pic above is long enough to see that but his pic on Amazon is him with longer hair, it’s slightly wavy at most. Cope harder schizo fuck

>>18354497
From the discord chat I’m in with Gardner. He even has the same necklace thing in >>18354419
Myth busted.

>>18354530
Holy shit. BTFO

>>18354530
>>18354547
samefag
also doesn’t prove anything, his curly hair looks nothing like the masked mans curly hair, it’s thin and bushy, whereas I can see the individual locks of the others

>>18354558
So you're just ignoring the identical necklace.

>>18354565
the single black string? is that supposed to be an identifier? you might as well have remarked that they both have a propensity for shirt-wearing. also, you're ignoring that I just called you out for samefagging and upboating your own gay shit.

>>18354606
>>18354558
Eat crow, retard.

>>18354606
>upboating

Reddit detected!

>>18354618
Based

>>18354618
>>18354643
>>18354698
1- samefag, still. jfc, look at the post counter you retard,
2- thanks for the pics of your stupid ass, you'll be seeing them again. your parents house looks really nice.

>>18354618
He cute

>>18354821
>post counter not increasing

>>18354829
That’s because I already posted