/lit/ - Literature

>>18334119
People talk about these here all the time. Now that you're here, fuck off (or you may never leave mwahahahaha).

more like fartner

Pseuds fear him

>>18334119
I want to read them but I can't find them on libgen

>>18334119
They aren't really real.

imagine going broke shilling your shitty book on a nichomachean boy lovers forum

>>18334119
Because they are a cryptic allegory for the enslavement of the white race by jews and guatemalans, routed only through the arguments laid out in the Phaedo and the principles of the Republican National Platform

that ad is brilliant on gardner’s part.

>>18334152
Oh yes they are.

>>18334154
If we read them and they are good and they make our list then you know who reads them and they go mainstream ching-ching ka-ching dollar dollar bills y'all

>>18334145
Z-library has Call of the Crocodile.

>>18334170
Oh really

>>18334202
Thanks friend

yo Gardner's prose is top notch

>The vibrant colors of the fallen autumn leaves die out as the days pass by. Autumn turns to winter, as pure white snow, deprived of all color takes the leaves place in the subsequent season. In his home, Pete sits with his mother April, as he sits on the couch reading in their living room. The young man leisurely reads a horror novel, while his mother watches the news on their television set. “Hey Mom? Could you turn up that up, please?” the boy asks. Being across the living room, the program had caught the child's attention. Reaching for the remote, April obliges, and adjusts the volume.

>>18334219
That’s honestly really well written.

>>18334231
kill yourself, Frank. you'll never be a real author and you'll never be the commissioner of the Metropolitan Water Reclamation District of Greater Chicago.

>>18334246
he looks based

what a chad...

>>18334297
Lmao he really does

>>18334231
>In his home, Pete sits with his mother April, as he sits on the couch reading in their living room.

Yeah, incredible stuff.

>>18334391
>Ignoring the rest of the excerpt.

Retard alert.

>>18334119
im interested in why retards on this website can't install an adblocker with a few clicks

>>18334219
>The vibrant colors of the fallen autumn leaves die out as the days pass by.
Awkwardly structured, cliched (vibrant colors; fallen autumn leaves; days passing by
>Autumn turns to winter, as pure white snow, deprived of all color takes the leaves place in the subsequent season.
More awkward phrasing, cliches (autumn turns to winter; pure white snow), missing comma after color, missing possessive apostrophe after leaves.
>In his home, Pete sits with his mother April, as he sits on the couch reading in their living room.
Redundant (Pete sits with his mother as he sits), awkward use of the same preposition twice (in his home in their living room). Mixed up ownership (his home, but their living room).
>The young man leisurely reads a horror novel, while his mother watches the news on their television set.
The best sentence so far, but why are we now calling them the boy and his mother, and not Pete and April since we already established their names in the prior sentence? Does the adjective 'leisurely' add enough to justify its use?
>"Hey Mom? Could you turn up that up, please?” the boy asks.
Fine, but the same question about the boy vs Pete.
>Being across the living room, the program had caught the child's attention.
Very awkwardly phrased. And really this should come before Pete asks April to turn up the volume.
>Reaching for the remote, April obliges, and adjusts the volume.
Fine but banal, and again the order of the phrases is awkward.

A better written paragraph would be closer to this:

>The vibrant color of the autumn leaves dies and turns to a pure white as autumn turns to winter. Pete, a boy of [insert age here] and his mother April sit in their living room at home. Pete leisurely reads a horror novel, while April watches news on the television. A story on the news grabs Pete's attention. "Hey Mom? Could you turn that up please?" he asks. April reaches for the remote to oblige him.

This is still stilted and awkward, but I also haven't put any appreciable effort into it. There is so much to improve, and we're only looking at one short paragraph. We're very far away from top notch prose.

>>18334427
Has to be bait, but:
>Autumn turns to winter, as pure white snow, deprived of all color takes the leaves place in the subsequent season.

This is ESL level writing. Aside from the broken syntax and dangling modifiers, there's also just an obvious possessive apostrophe missing.

>>18334453
>Fixating on apostrophe's.
>"Surely this must be ESL"

I take that back. You're not a retard. You just have the "tism."

>>18334431
Uhh maybe because we're actually reading this unlike you sweaty?
It sounds like you really need to have sex!

>>18334438

OH NO NO NO NO

Would someone please think of the poor apostrophes!!!!

>>18334438
I bet you think Finnegan's Wake is a masterpiece

>>18334529
Haven't read it. The main point is that if someone is going to call himself an author of top notch prose, he really either should put more thought and careful proofreading into his work, or at least hire an editor to flag this stuff for him.

>>18334170
Why is there a border on the cover

>>18334507
>>18334491
I will not buy your book

>>18334542
>if someone is going to call himself an author of top notch prose

LOL. I don't think Gardner's ever made such a claim. He's a Penny Dreadful who writes fun and wacky horror stories. Nobody is claiming he's the next R.C. Waldun in terms of prose.

>>18334587
I'm going to buy it now just to make you mad

>>18334587
your loss bud

>>18334590
Just going off of the original anon's post. I am skeptical and consider shilling of books that are actually advertised on purchased 4chan banners to be shilling from the author himself. I could be wrong on that.

>>18334590

>>18334604
Looks like she needs some BWC

>>18334610
>Looks like she needs some BWC

>>18334610
>she

>>18334601
No I shill him myself because I am F. Gardner’s girlfriend (male)

>>18334621
shut up, F. gardner could never be satisfied with one woman (male), he has a pack of groupies to suck him off whenever he pleases.

You're going to get what's coming to you Gardner. You have ruined this place for too long. Mark my words.

>>18334573
I think it’s to save resolution on his picture

>>18334874
It's a fake

>>18335077
I have a copy too

>>18335077
>>18335098

>>18335077

>>18335098
>>18335104
You lads are trying way too hard now it's becoming obvious.

>>18335115
Posting a copy of my book? What are you on about.
>>18334604
Who's that

Because, it's just too much, for you to handle!
The genius, of my writing, is too frightening, for most men. I hope, you are all looking forward too, my next book, which will be the scariest book, ever told, on 4chan! Where, the maximum horror of my creative genius, will be clear, to all!

>>18334246
Au contraire! I am already a masterful writer! Could you not tell, by the masterful skill, behind my every stroke of a key? The brilliance of my work, shines brightly just as the scales of a crocodile shimmer with spooky magnificence! Could it be, dear friend, that you are just jealous of my writing talent?
I think so! For I am F. Gardner, the one and only, and true prince of /lit/! The one and only place on the internet, where the true masterminded genius of my work, truly shines!

>>18335157
Your biological father.

>>18334170
That's a big book

>>18334202
TAKE IT DOWN!!!!

“More than that, Joe was beginning to feel like Sisyphus. The character found in Greek mythology. The one who had been condemned to eternally push a boulder up hill, only to have it roll back down repeatedly. As if he were in Tartarus. The Greek term for the abyss. It had begun to feel all too familiar. Too real for a dream.”

I'm glad, that, I didn't pay. For this shit.

>>18335282
>Gardner likes to reference the classics and the Greeks in his work

Kino.

>>18335282
Gardner will be taught in high schools.

>>18335232
For you

>>18336089
CIA?