/lit/ - Literature

>>18307389
I write based and redpilled books, but finding a community that is based and redpilled where I can talk about my books or anything I care about is exceedingly difficult. Does anyone else have this problem?
I suspect by now most of the really based places are underground, which means my cat social mentality works against me as I don't do the whole nepotism thing.

I've never heard the inner voice or voice of my heart. Am i that broken?

nigger niggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggererniggerniggerniggerniggerniggernigger

>>18307389
i have life altering clarity and wisdom about my life, but only in fleeting spurts that last 20 - 30 minutes.
its so frustrating to watch myself fold back into the same self destructive habits and mannerisms, but i do anyway.
i will never try as hard as i think i should.
i will never work as hard as i think i should.
and i will stay mediocre because of my blatant faults and stresses.

i wait for an epifany that will never fruit.

I'm addicted to prosopography :(

>>18307389
Some people are a bunch of bitches.

these clouds look like mountain

>>18307467
As long as you resign yourself to the fact that some things, even your own tendancies, may escape your control or influence, and as long as you try your best within your sphere of influence, you have no reason to be frustrated. Resignation is key, and it is not a movement of failure, its an astute assessment of your capability.

>>18307522
Love when clouds do that

I was going through my google photos and I came across a picture of 6 years back when I visited Rajasthan, India on a trip. It's me and this old man in a far away village who fought in the indo-pak war. Seeing him reminded me how he told me how he lost his friend right in front of him because a landmine exploded under his feet. It's hard to imagine losing your friend in the blink of an eye, that too, in pieces.

I’ve spent the last week writing the outline of a philosophical doctrine but have since found out that all the ideas that I thought were original, have already been formulated by Deleuze. I wonder if I should go ahead and create a parallel set of shadow theories anyway befitting non-hierarchical rhizomatic growth. It’s not like anyone is going to publish it anyway.

>>18307445
answer for question is in question

Is getting a gf worth the sacrifice of free time?

>>18307389
How many regular users does /lit/ have?

>>18307579
I would think so. But that's coming from someone who is wasteful with most of his free time. Well, it would have to be the right girl, too. Sometimes if you fixate on it it won't happen.

>>18307396
Facing this exact same problem. I've only met a couple people in real life who understand the mission, and half are raging narcissists. I've got three books on the market, and I'm coming out with a philosophy one soon. I've got no idea who to share this content with.

I need to consume romance novels
I crave it
I feel my mental stability crashing down each time I consume another

I spoke with a friend for the first time in years. That was an awkward 3-hour phone call, thanks to my autism. I will probably not contact him again nor will he contact me

>>18307620
Were you fighting? I don't understand how an awkward call could last that long otherwise?

>>18307588
Yeah, I like my free time a lot. If I know I have to do something later that week it actually makes me enjoy the days of nothing ahead less because there is this big thing I have to do looming ahead.
I feel like having a GF is basically like that combined with work calling you up demanding you come in at random hours.
Actually that is a good analogy, it seems like a job.

I feel entirely hopeless on so many levels. The entire world is caught up in neotribal bullshit and I'm stuck on the outside looking in. Every time I try to discuss anything relevant with anyone, something I say trips some basal process in their deep pattern-brain and they start treating me like I'm another instantiation of their favorite, abstract Big Bad. This is even when I go to great pains to express that I don't feel any particular affiliation to any group. I've been called a leftist by the right, a leftist by the right, a racist by the commies, a commie by the fascists. It would be funny if it didn't fill me with this bone deep despair for the future. It's a big part of why I'm so leery to participate in greater society in any capacity; much less in the capacity by which I know I'm capable.

>>18307652
A fellow observer, I see. Don't worry -- you're not alone. You're going to need to channel your confusion/disappointment into something, or else it'll start to eat away at you and change your behaviour permanently. If I didn't have my books, I would have long gone insane from being mislabeled by the retards in my daily life.

>>18307652
This is similar to the attitude that people with real power have, except you don't have power so you can't manipulate and instrumentalize these instinctive reactions for your own ends on a mass level like they do.

>>18307672
This is true only of malevolent observer types. They would hope to mould the world into their ideal vision of it. Only those who move beyond this tyrant stage arrive upon a position in which the self is not projected onto the rest of man.

>>18307686
>They would hope to mould the world into their ideal vision of it. Only those who move beyond this tyrant stage arrive upon a position in which the self is not projected onto the rest of man.

I don't think they have any great hopes for people being manipulated into accepting their point of view. Docile and harmless is more than enough.

>>18307575
Oh.. no redemption for me after all

>>18307699
I think we're discussing different phenomena, then. I'm concerned with withdrawn, observant types, like the anon there. You seem to be focusing more on (((elite))) types, the social engineers and such.

>>18307732
I think we are both talking about treating men as a means not an end. The observer mindset is part of this, the only difference is scale.

I’m still pissed that the Simpsons treehouse episode got the Island of Dr. Moreau completely wrong

https://youtu.be/-DoTzZ3WEVE

>>18307534
based pic, got more old horsey photos?

>>18307561
I fought in Afghanistan. Something similar happened to me. You don't understand what happened at first. If you've never been close to an explosion, it's really hard to imagine how overwhelming an experience it is, even with comparatively small ordinance like a 105mm artillery shell. The sensation of sound and concussion overrides everything about your human experience. In a way, you ARE that explosion for the moments during and immediately preceding. While your brain tries to catch up and make sense of what just happened, everything kind of just melds together into an almost benign blankness. That only lasts for a moment though, because soon your brain starts piecing things together, the smoke clears, the dust settles, and you have to confront what your eyes are telling you. The guy in front of you isn't standing in front of you anymore, and even though all the evidence is there you still have no fucking clue where he is. He was there, you were joking around minutes before, talking about life the previous day, in that serene way with which only men in combat are familiar. Then you start picking up additional details. Blood on a dirt wall, a metallic smell in your nose and mouth, a twisted machine gun laying unattended yards away. An armored vest laying in a ditch.

Picking up his pieces is difficult, but it's more difficult later when you start to think about the probability, the web of causality and the uncountable twists of fate which led to him being the one who stepped on it rather than you. If he'd maybe stumbled or missed a half step miles before, he could have missed the pressure plate entirety and it could have been you lying dead in that ditch. It is literally fucking maddening. Later, you wonder with a kind of casual callousness which scars you for the rest of your life if it was the blast that killed him, or if he lived long enough to drown legless in the ditch.

People go through much worse in war than just witnessing a death. A part of you realizes this, of course, and you start attacking and invalidating your own suffering. You're still alive, after all, and he is dead. What do you have to complain about? This creates a deep sense of shame and inadequacy in that something so comparatively small affected you so deeply, which prevents you, sometimes for decades, from seeking help. You might spend the rest of your life picking up the pieces from just the one death. And this is to say nothing about the remainder of your combat experiences.

War is suffering. The human mind isn't strong enough to withstand it and come out unchanged.

>>18307467
>i have life altering clarity and wisdom about my life, but only in fleeting spurts that last 20 - 30 minutes
Yes, I also masturbate

All 9 and a half inches of Mandingo’s BBC

>>18307555

Why putting Dr Karl on blast like this? Leave my man alone

>>18307985
Damn anon. Heavy stuff

>>18307985
Did you ever kill a person?

I giggle everytime i see Sneed, and i hate myself for it. I cant explain, but whenever i see Sneed edits of anything i almost always find them funny, no matter how random or tasteless they are.

>>18308620

>>18308641
Made me laugh
fuck you

time to sleep

>>18307389
This'll be cringe but fuck, it's what's on my mind. I have started reading On Writing by King and so far it the book is just making me sad. I know he is an extreme outlier but reading about when he was young, knowing that someday he becomes famous, is somewhat depressing. How can you not compare that to your own life? I've done alright with my life but writing is something I really want to achieve something with. Not household name fame but a good bit of recognition. But then I look at how much of my life I've wasted trying other shit. Painting, music, only to give up on those. I hope writing isn't the same. I've already started my first novel over again.....

>>18307985
God damn. RIP soldier bro and sorry you had to go through that.

You write really well. Is it cathartic for you to do so?

>>18308840
>I know he is an extreme outlier but reading about when he was young, knowing that someday he becomes famous, is somewhat depressing.
Explain.

>>18308851
In the book he tells short tales about memories he has when he was younger. These of course take place before he becomes a famous writer, at least the ones I've read thus far. Anyway, as I'm reading them he is talking from a perspective of before he knew he would be famous. You know it's coming, though. It depresses me because it makes me think about my own childhood to now and how I've done practically nothing. I think we all want to be great at something and the possibility that I will live a boring life is much more likely than becoming a famous writer.

>>18308843
Thanks. It was, yeah. I may not be the best writer on the planet but, even after checking this statement against my own humility, I am probably the best writer of the thirty-odd men who were present for his death. If I don't tell his story, who will? It's an inconsequential death in an inconsequential country in a war which will be nothing more than a footnote to history. But it means something to me to keep his memory alive.

>>18307389
im incredibly ill. just so sick. hope i will get better soon. i doubt it. prognosis: bad. i am not long for this earth. so sick. so ill. so tired. so beaten and whipped by the winds of this cruel earth.

>>18308691
sleep to time

>>18308944
>It's an inconsequential death in an inconsequential country in a war which will be nothing more than a footnote to history. But it means something to me to keep his memory alive.
I don’t think that’s true, anon. I know this means nothing from some random person on the internet but I think stories like this do matter, even if not for the sake of the specific individual, for the sake of the role that individual played in something much larger, which now feels irrelevant but in truth, can’t possibly be irrelevant. At the very least it highlights genuine tragedy, perhaps the transformation of war, maybe it does go and speak to someone personally. You just don’t know. Either way, I think you’re pretty good and I appreciate you sharing that story.

>>18308884
What’s the takeaway from that though? I mean, if you were to become a notable writer, you’d be able to reflect on your childhood like that too.

Browsing this board makes me feel retarded because I enjoy reading but I'm too autistic to read philosophy so I end up just reading threads full of people talking about something I don't have a base understanding of and just have to piece it together in my head

I was attacked by a demon while sleeping the other day. I could hear it rambling in my year, an indefinite set of phrases. Over and over with great annoyance. At first it sounded like a normal human voice. As I tried to pay closer attention it hissed at me and the voice became frighteningly loud and I could sense it stabbing my kidney as if lunging a knife into it. (Kidneys in the bible are referred to as holy organs, devils often seek to harm it.)

It is then that my inner self did something unexpected. In a booming, powerful and authoritative voice, like a battlefield commander I intoned:

NO DEMON. IT IS YOU WHO WILL SERVE ME. THOU SHALL BOW BEFORE ME. I FIGHT AND I HAVE FOUGHT. I AM NOT YOURS TO CLAIM.

With this utterance the hellhound retreated and disappeared, my exhortation having broken its siege. Demons, one must understand, are not like people. They don't think or have emotions or reason in the typical sense. They are more like animals in that respect, having simple touch and go responses to certain actions. That is because they embody only one single intense form of sin, and because of this, they lack nuance and complexity as they are merely concentrated forms of that sin given agency from collective human wrongdoing.

What would happen if i were to drink a shake like this every day for a week?

>>18308989
That's true! I guess maybe it is the feeling of not knowing? Or that it's too late since I'm 30. But then I know that some writes don't get their break until much older than I am now. Ugh. I fear staying up late to write and read and work my ass off only to make terrible books. Then 20 years later and nothing had changed. I know to an extent these feelings are ridiculous and if I never write ill never know.

>>18309099
You'd blow up like a balloon lol

The urges to go skinny dipping with a couple of pretty girls are not worth channeling into something constructive — with those I can't make anything but smut.

>>18309099
U Might Fart And Shit But U Prolly Wont Cum

>>18309099
>2600 calories per serving
how is america even real

>>18309099
>32 fl oz
>it's a litre per serving size
wtf?

>>18309099
I wonder which organ will shut down first because of this shake

how do you even make a girl cum?

I'm not good enough to write actual books but my writing would definitely be good enough for a comic.
But I can't fucking draw smfh.

>>18309174
Exactly. I feel the same way when I read about people who say shit like “I started writing very young” but then I remember that 1) half of them are full of shit and 2) the other half grew up in a different time. They would’ve been game addicts until 25 at least had they been born today. I still feel shitty then but I don’t feel as shitty.

>>18309356
Light novels are up your alley

>>18307389
It's a real fucking shame that the supreme Gentleman meme has ruined being a gentleman.
I can see how the cringe worthy mistakes of some young misguided boys are worth ridicule, but I feel like the meme has robbed a generation of a masculine, sophisticated, socially adjusted and wholeheatedly good role model. The idea of a man who dresses well, seduces nobility, can have a great conversation with anyone, hunts for fun, succeeds beyond expectations in his career, appreciates fine art and literature, is never embarrassed or embarrassing, upholds the honour in the family name etc, I really like this ideal for a man, it's confident, respectable and masculine. Now however the ideals male ideals are so single faceted, if a male ideal is even upheld.
The modern ideal is so vague as to include everyone, it ends up inspiring greatness in no one. It's not masculine, not feminine, not too smart, not too ambitious, it's just a contentment with common denominator achievements; go to school, get a degree (all degrees are equal), rent a room, get a job, get a mortgage, we all win!

>>18307389
I ate nearly 40% of a large jar of reduced fat peanut butter just this morning. I shall not eat the rest of the day to compensate.

>>18309099
thats not too bad, you can easily take that as a really big snack

>>18309356
Nobody starts off being good enough to put a whole book together. Short stories are a tried and true way of learning the crafts of writing and storytelling in a much more manageable size.

>>18309099
>2600 calories
>can't be real
>look it up
>oh it's real

that is fucking insane. i just ate a really shitty breakfast sandwich from the dollar store that had 490 calories which is pretty bad. drinking that shake would be the equivalent of eating FIVE of those. what the fuck.

You ever notice how few talented writers ever have a normal office career at any point? Kafka was the exception and not the rule.

I’m kinda swag with it, actually. I really have no reason to worry about my self image

>>18309466
very few rockstars have office careers either. either you get lucky early or you don't. the industry isn't going to waste their time promoting someone can't produce a lifetime of work. it takes a lot of resources to meme an author into success, why would they waste that on an old dude who worked in an office for 20 years?

>>18309362
Maybe, I thought that was just a nip thing tho?
>>18309435
Thanks anon but honestly I just don't think I have the brain size required to get where I want to be. I'll keep trying ofc.

>>18309509
>Maybe, I thought that was just a nip thing tho?
There are English light novels and English web novels.

all you nofap guys should try the covid vaccine, got it last week, haven't been horny since, lol

>>18309528
When I had mine (AstraZeneca) it gave me mental issues and made me want to fuck twinks for a while, it's wearing off now tho.
I'm not even an anti vaxxer but I legit feel like something very bad has been done to me and i'm scared to get the second.

>>18309359
Thanks that helps. I'll keep plugging away and then hope I csn get a publisher some day to print my shit lol

>>18309562
i did johnson and johnson, ended up suffering through like 12 hours of flu symptoms that night, but now i'm just kind of groggy. i would recommend having some protein powder on hand, that helped me sleep a lot, but before the full flu feeling kicked in i ate a big dinner which gave me mild nausea all night, and it was only when i crawled out of bed in the morning and sipped some protein that i could sleep again. if they try to make me get these fucking shots every year when some new strain mutates i will move to the fucking woods and check out of society. vaccinations, like taxation, are the price you pay for civilization, but there are limits to the shit.

>>18309562
i took johnson and johnson, had like 12 hours of solid flu-life symptoms, now i'm just groggy. i have to do this monday morning report for work and i can't get started what the hell.

>>18309419
>reduced fat peanut butter
That sounds retarded. I looked at my large size jar of peanut butter and it only has 590 kcal per 100g and less than 300g in the jar.

>>18309740
I’m American, the reduced fat has 170 kcal per serving with 31 servings in the jar

I broke up with my girlfriend. I've posted about whether to do it here and there in these threads for months. I feel okay but pretty sad and a bit guilty.

>>18307634
Any worthwhile relationship takes work. Doesn't just apply to girlfriends, or even only to other people.

>>18309813
>If I say I'm American, frankenfood and a lot of it will sound less retarded
Still sounds retarded desu

>>18307985
just hearing gunshots from the drug neighborhood a few blocks from me makes me think about stuff like that. when i read about what happened the next morning in the local paper I think how one minute the guy is hanging out in the parking lot of the local fried chicken joint with his buddies distributing small retail quantities of narcotics, suddenly an opp rolls up, no idea if they exchanged words or just started shooting, and with that his life is over. i don't go in that neighborhood after dark so i never think "it could have been me", but it does make me think about the "safety inequality" america for lack of a better term.

>>18309908
Oh I’m not saying it doesn’t sound retarded, just explaining the reason behind the retardation

>>18307985
it's possible that this is not a sensitive thing to say, and if it isn't and I'm being an asshole then I apologize but I think there are two things from religion that could maybe matter
the first is the statement that no one dies before their time. I am aware that this seems to radically clash with free will, but this is one of the mysteries we tangle with. When someone like Jesus says that it is God and God alone who fends for the birds of the sky, I take that to be literal.
The second, which justifies the first, is that death is not the end. there is a verse in the Quran
"And do not say about those who are killed in the way of Allah , "They are dead." Rather, they are alive, but you perceive [it] not."
The same is a central theme of hindu tradition: that which truly is the person does not die, even though the body should go from one state to another. I believe this is even one of the central themes of the cross: that that which does die is not the true life. The common response to hearing someone died in Islam is "Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un" which means "Truly to God do we belong, and truly to God do we return". Even in the very worst possible extreme here on earth, still this is the boundary: truly to God do we return.

KARA KIS AVILIMGA KELGENDE
KÜRTILDEGEN KAR YERGE TÜSKENDE
DOMBRAMDI ALARMAN
YÜREK SAZIM ÇALARMAN
KAYGIRGANDI EŞ AYTBAM
DOMBRAMDI ALARMAN
YÜREK SAZIM ÇALARMAN
KAYGIRGANDI EŞ AYTBAM
HEEY, HEEY DOMBIRA
HEEY, HEEY DOMBIRA
DOMBIRA SAZIM ESTGEN ATAYLAR
MANESINE ES BERGEN ANAYLAR
ESTKENINE OY BERIP
YÜREKLERGE SES BERIP
KÖZ YASTI KIZGANMASLAR
ESTKENINE OY BERIP
YÜREKLERGE SES BERIP
KÖZ YASTI KIZGANMASLAR
HEEY, HEEY DOMBIRA
HEEY, HEEY DOMBIRA
NOGAYDIN KAYGI SANSIZ KÜNINDE
BATIRLER UYKLAMAGAN TÜNINDE
YÜREKLERIN KÖTERGEN
SOGISLARGA KÜŞ BERGEN
KÖPTÜ KÖRGEN DOMBIRA
YÜREKLERIN KÖTERGEN
SOGISLARGA KÜŞ BERGEN
KÖPTÜ KÖRGEN DOMBIRA
HEEY, HEEY DOMBIRA
HEEY, HEEY DOMBIRA
HEEY, HEEY DOMBIRA
HEEY, HEEY DOMBIRA

>>18307854
extremely comfy screen and video

>>18309099
38g of protein? You'll probably get ripped.

How to make any girl go out with you
>preliminary: have watched the 1940 Hitchcock movie 'Rebecca'
>make her think you are on the verge of suicide
>ask her out
>she literally can't refuse
Thank me later!

why hasn't someone made an uber for programming yet? i know, i know, uber for x is a joke at this point, but seriously, why hasn't someone made a platform where you submit the method signature, unit tests, and bounty. then whoever submits something that passes the test gets the bounty. so simple, so fast, so cheap. if i were a rich prick from stanford i would already be working on this shit. then again maybe it already exists, in which case they need to hire a better marketing guy cuz i never heard of it even though that would be right up my alley.

>open lit catalog
>tranny bait thread
>negro bait thread
>incel bait thread
>commie bait thread
>nazi bait thread
>3 different twitter bait threads
>YA bait thread
>booktube bait thread
stop just stop

Today is my birthday, and like the twenty-two birthdays preceding it, I don't know what the hell I'm doing with my life.

I have a job that barely pays the bills, a messy apartment that is a reflection of my life, crippling debt that keeps me down and a overall fear of trying to do something to get me out of this funk.

I want to go back to school, get a bachelors in something and get a higher paying job. The associates degree I did get though and the experience in which I went through holds me back. I know chances are I won't be bullied again, nor will I face half the issues that plagued me before, but the fear is still there.

I'd like to become a writer, but honestly I don't think I'm cut out for it. I'm sitting on a 60k book that I'm afraid to sit down, edit and publish in some shape or form since, deep down I want it to help get me out of my pit of despair, but I know that it won't. And when it fails I'll lose that little hope spot.

I don't know.

>>18310736
Happy birthday anon, hope your life will soon turn for the better

>>18308972
What do you have?

>>18310736
happy birthday anon. don’t give up on improving your life. whatever you do don’t give up on your book either. even if it doesn’t work out every person needs a creative project. it’s healthy

>>18307389
I keep posting extremely obvious b8 threads on /pol/. At the very least, they get a 100 posts before 404ing, but it's not uncommon for them to go straight to the bump limit.
It's not smart b8.
It's not even original b8.
But they take it day after day. At this point I'm wondering if this isn't just some strange ritual the entire site collectively agreed to follow.

>>18310874
what is the point? i always figure the obvious bait threads are just made by the mods or some other employee of 4chan to keep user engagement up.

>>18310874
Playing along with obvious bait is one of the oldest 4chan traditions

>>18310736
Edit that book, man. You're quitting before you've even really started. And clean your apartment. It might seem daunting but it helps.

>>18310889
I'm addicted to (you)s, and it's such a simple process that I just can't resist.
>go to r/politicalhumor or some other hive of retardation
>take a currently trending post
>ctrl + c, ctrl + v to /pol/
>???
>profit
Like pic related. Post it on /pol/ along with a "Wow, as a conservative, this really makes me think" and wait for the (you)s to flow.
If you're feeling extra adventurous, use a memeflag and give the image a filename in hebrew.

Even after all these years, I could still recall your smile, the sound of your laughter. I only need to close my eyes to see you, that long dark hair flowing down around your shoulders and those beautiful round eyes. I wish we could've worked out our differences, nothing good comes out of arguing, but nothing good comes out of silence either.

I shouldn't have wasted my time holding out my feelings. I should have told you I love you the first time I saw you, at the airport. At Arnhem. I should have loved you more, every night and every day. I couldn't care less if it sounds weak, I want to tell you that I love you, in my arms and everywhere.

It really sank in today just how awful regularly coming to a place like this is for a creative.

>>18310926
I appreciate you. they have porn ads all over 4chan.org right? I feel like /pol/ is 30% shitposts and 70% roiling fire that just consumes whatever it comes across. If it's your hebrew filename then that's what we're consuming today, that's what we're gonna be mad about

>>18310979
yeah, it's not good, very bad.

wait navalnyj didn't die? lol

>>18310736
Happy birthday anon. 23 was a good year for me, so I know it could be for you too. I turn 24 on Wednesday.

Godspeed, don’t be afraid to fail with that book. Failing may open up a new series of opportunities.

>>18307389
My mind feels like a toilet bowl full of shit. I'm doing my best to clear the water but it is difficult to find clarity when the world is constantly trying to persuade me to adopt this reality, or that reality. I am trying to retreat into books that I feel like I should have read by now, but somehow didn't. It feels conspiratorial that I think I know the Odyssey and the Iliad, but have never read them- that it was doled out to me in safe bites via excerpts from subpar schooling (and learning for that matter) as well as other homogenized media that fully distilled any wickedness that might stoke the imagination. What a pretentious shithead I am.

I'm so lonely I can't even work up to jack off anymore.
feeling the pleasures only emphasize how lonely I truly am

>>18310736
Happy birthday anon. Keep pushing through that book. You're stuck in some shrodinger esk, twilight zone bullshit. I feel it too.. If the book is never finished, you'll always have the possibility that it'll work out. But if you finish it, it might be shit. But the truth, there will be another book after. A better one. You csnt sharpen thr skill if you don't write. THAT is thr only truth. Not writing, editing, looking to get publish is a 100% bonefied guaran-fucking-tee chance you'll never get better.

>>18311265
Do you yearn for a friendship or relationship?

>>18311312
I don't know what I want anymore
I don't want to be alive anymore, but I'm not contemplating suicide
I wish to return to the void

Dreamed that I was watching a documentary about underground man-eating and man-raping apes. The narrator said "20 children have been taken since this documentary began". Footage of a tapir, which turned into a pig, being grabbed by its hind legs and pulled into a narrow hole in a cliff, terrorized, once it was all the way inside a pale ape bit the top of its head and its brains spilled out. Footage of apes mimicking humans, their faces shifting to resemble mildly deformed humans, utterly evil smile, looking straight at the camera.

>>18311324
We all get there eventually. No need to rush.

>>18311400
wow that's some far out shit good thing it was a dream not an lsd trip

>>18311455
yeah, fuck it, I'm gonna go do some volunteer work tomorrow
might as well make this life worth something to someone

>>18311400
Sounds like a horror book to me

>>18311505
That’s a really positive way to go about your attitude. I hope you have a good time.

Writing is the least relevant thing about writing. If the story and character hits the right points for the right people, it will succeed.

>I scowl with frustration at myself in the mirror. Damn my hair - it just won't behave, and damn Katherine Kavanagh for being ill and subjecting me to this ordeal. I should be studying for my final exams, which are next week, yet here I am trying to brush my hair into submission. I must not sleep with it wet. I must not sleep with it wet. Reciting this mantra several times, I attempt, once more, to bring it under control with the brush. I roll my eyes in exasperation and gaze at the pale, brown-haired girl with blue eyes too big for her face staring back at me, and give up. My only option is to restrain my wayward hair in a ponytail and hope that I look semi presentable.

Is the opening paragraph from a franchise that made billions and became a movie series.

holy shit amazon in talks to acquire mgm studios for 8 billion, big beezer still making power moves.

>>18309341
>0 (you)s
figures

>>18309874
I remember you, what did you say?

it's weird how everyone who was on community peaked on community

>>18311785
just that I can't do it anymore and things aren't improving and I want to end it. she's pleading and testing my resolve rn.

breaking the fast.
tomorrow is the last day.
the morning after tomorrow I will have coffee for the first time in a month.
inshallah.

>>18307634
Having a GF feels like having a job indeed, but one you can stick your dick in, so it kinda evens out.

I'm coming to terms with my brain. It seems that although I thought I was autistic, I'm actually schizotypal. Which means I'm socially awkward and have "weird" beliefs, intrusive thoughts, and a fuckton of paranoia.

Which brings my "mental breakdown" at university into a new light, as a form of psychosis. I now realise that what I thought was an episode of intense derealisation was actually bordering on psychosis; it's so hard to describe but once I'd worked out that nothing was "real", and that I felt it viscerally, and saw the cardboard cutout projections for what they are, I realised the menacing presence and intent behind it all, and how it all closes in and traps me, even though my mind is free, it's not free either. Words cannot express the ominous evil I sensed all around me.

Brains, who'd have em?

Anybody ever notice that if you actually dive into communication within the homosexual community, a huge amount of them are basically open pedophiles? They manage to keep a lid on it when they're around straights, but among themselves it's an open secret.

>>18312022
pederasts I've noticed, though my experience is limited

>>18310979
It's my internet home, most other sites became defunct in one way or another. I just stick to generals usually.
I saw a thread about me today on this board that kinda teased but I opened it and a lot of people were pretty nice.
I felt really shy for like three hours.

>>18312088
shut up Gardner

>>18311887
You can have coffee during a fast man
unless it's a religious fast I guess

>>18311887
ramadan ended like two weeks ago bro

>>18312022
Am fag, haven't noticed this

>>18312152
yea I started late, long story, my eid is tomorrow

>>18312168
How do you start Ramadan late were you on a two week period or something

>>18312022
wat

How the fuck do students stomach modern textbooks all of them are the most mind numbing sleep inducing shit ive ever read even if its subjects I cant get enough of if its a college textbook I rather do anything else than continue reading, meanwhile other textbooks that arent used in schools or books that are actually written with someone with a soul I cant stop turning the pages. Dont really care for why I just wanted to bitch

i need to be more productive

>>18312376
I just blast brutal death metal on Bandcamp while studying. Numbs away the boredom like you wouldn't believe, and it doesn't distract that much really, at least for me. I would rather be slightly distracted by music than be bored outta my wits.

So this is why they keep peas frozen.

>>18312414
i might do the same thing honestly thanks lol, as time goes on Im increasingly convinced college just isnt for me anyway. Good thing I can program.

>>18307389
I AM GOD

>>18307389
Can't take Guenon's books seriously because of this stupid board, everytime I read him I think of /lit/ or of words such as "based" and "pbuh". I hate it aaaaaaaaaaaa

>>18310979
Maybe I'm just relatively unique in my experiences, but I don't find this place so bad. I've gotten several short stories and several poems published and I can still come here for energy and inspiration.

Although I do a lot more contributing these days than asking questions. I'm an oldfag, in 4chan terms and IRL, and I've been coming here so long and taking so many suggestions that I've actually read a fair amount. Nowadays, with this board full of Zoomers, I try to give back some by giving them book and story recommendations. I figure, when I was young, older Anons helped me out. Now that I'm an older Anon, it's my turn to help the newfags out.

>>18312333
basically I was not going to do it for health reasons, and those health reasons are to do with my ability to handle stress and fasting is a stressor, but then something happened which drastically reduced the stress on the rest of my life and which I also felt required some form of pious response. Not fasting for health reasons is entirely legit, fasting if you have health problems is haram. I made the judgement call that my outside stressors had gone down so much and that my need for worship was so great that I decided to fast. This happened roughly in the middle of the month of Ramadan. This is the first time I do it, possibly the last. If it was the right decision I ultimately don't know but I think it was. Things did seem a little shaky toward the end here but now there's only one day left so I will finish.

>>18312703
>>18312333
oh and for clarity and as far as I remember, if something does get in ones way then one is supposed to do the equivalent amount of days later and so that's what I'm doing

Sometimes i go on 4chan or reddit and pretend that im either a radical muslim, christian or buddhist, and i argue with other people. I feel like being a zealot is the only time i feel any energy or conviction, even though i do not believe in any God. I wish i could believe in God.

>Uncle who murdered his wife gets out of jail (Euro prison system)
>Dont want anything to do with him
>Family says i owe it to the family to still interact with him and make me out to be the bad guy in this.
I feel like im fucking taking crazy pills.

>>18312786
just get a bible nigga, errybody loves Jesus and Jesus loves God

sometimes I think of that one post I made ages ago, find myself imagining it getting 10+ (yous) and a screencap, being shared all over the internet spreading laughter.
It was in response to some Slovenian anon who had told an Austrian anon that their women are all being fucked by Bulgarians (or some such nationality), and my reply to him was "and that's how Slovenians are made".
Outcome: 1 appreciative (you) with a Mel Gibson gif from the very same Slovenian. I wonder is there any cosmic justice to this spherical turd of a planet? As the hour of reckoning sets upon my life's work will this post be the negation of my many sins? Time will tell...

>>18312791
Similar thing happened to me but with an aunt (blood) and she didn’t directly murder him. I just say okay, acknowledge her when I see her, and don’t really talk to her otherwise.

>>18312601
My problem with it is the stuff here is like a mind virus. It tugs my attention and the various thread topics take up space in my head which would otherwise be filled with ideas. The same for my posts. I should just be writing. Not to mention the time suck.

I've been having really long dreams lately. One's that feel like they last an entire life time. It's honestly exhausting in a weird way, even though I'm sleeping at the time. You wake up and in your mind it's like you've just lived a whole other life.

I've had three relationships blow up quite spectacularly over the past year. I told myself I would take a break from women to allow my mind and heart to rest. But it's barely been a week and the past few nights I've been dreaming of hooking up with an old friend of mine who I know recently became single. I can't stop thinking about women.

I loved the vibe and ambience in Fallout 4. It’s a shame the actual game and the story weren’t all that good.

How to break 4chan addiction?

>>18312916
>>18310979

I really don't get posts like these. I don't mean this in a condescending way, I genuinely don't get it. I find it very hard to waste time on 4chan, it's so repetitive and slow - at least the boards I visit. It is fun as a time waster for maybe half an hour, but I get bored pretty quickly and it doesn't occupy my mind otherwise. /lit/ in particular is legitimately awful these days its hard to find anything good.

I havent pooped in 3 days

>>18313036
Coffee and prune juice

Is being a gaming journalist unironically one of the best "jobs" out there? I mean just think about it. There's no foreseeable end to gaming so no worries about deindustrialization or anything like that. Your job is to consoom a game as fast as possible and then tell fellow consoomers what you liked or disliked. You don't even have to be good at it. You just have to be a brainless monkey. When you're not reviewing a game you just have to write about the latest gaming news.

>>18313013
For me it was getting over my depression. I visit the site every once in a while still but never stay long because I remember how lame the average poster is here. Unironically go get therapy and a hobby.

>>18313027
Don’t know dude. I’ll spend all day on here. Literally.

I fall for everyone I sleep with, or would it be more accurate to say I only sleep with people I fall for?
Being a romantic is very out of fashion

I’m not having fun reading the Greeks desu

>>18312791
Balkans?

>>18313134
netherlands

>>18313135
I take it your family are not ethnically Dutch then? Dutch people are civilized and cool, they don't kill their women

>>18313122
You don't have to read them if you don't want to

>>18313161
No we're ethnically Dutch. My uncle is an unironic schizo and a drug addict. In fact, he tried to kill himself after he murdered his wife, but he failed because his mother happened to be visiting him that day.

>>18313162
I feel like I do have to do. Plus, I want to like it. I just don’t.

>>18313168
Ooh that really sucks anon. I visited the Netherlands three years ago, really nice place.

>>18313186
yeah its a nice place, it just so happens that my uncle has severe mental issues.

I bought one of those little plastic flasks of cheap whiskey for the first time today. Enjoying it.

>>18313171
Yeah I was just kidding

>>18313189
Lol that's cute

>>18313193
Those are fun to carry around on the inside of a jacket so you can pretend to be an alcoholic

Wrote this tidbit, what do you guys think of it?

The spectacle of a million lights. It reminds me of a memory from so many years ago, of a place I cannot recall and with loved ones long since gone. I must have been very little then, and remember finding myself seated on someone’s shoulders—perhaps it was my older brother or my papa. Getting a clear view of breathtaking lights that pop and explode with such rhythm that to a young child, it would surely be a memory they would never forget. One they would cherish for as long as they live—a capsule of simpler and better times, without a worry in the world. To look back on it and feel nostalgic; feel warmth over such a lovely memory.

And to have that memory resurface now—to have a memory dug up by death and destruction is sickening. A spectacle of a million lights—not one of innocence, but signifying the ongoing armed struggle between people. Where each spectacle of fireworks goes off not with rhythm to bring joy to hundreds gathered, but the determined purpose of killing another living being—and more than just hundreds at that.

And it sickens me. It sickens me to the core to have an innocent memory tramped on and become affiliated with this moment. The more upset I get about this, the more agitated my scar tissue gets. My attempts at rubbing my mature mark in an attempt to soothe the tissue fail, and in fact contribute to it all the same. As I hunch over in my chair I can only wish I had asked Olga to stay with me. I feel like I need her now more than ever, but asking her to leave the Taiga at this point would cause inconvenience for the rest of the fleet. It would cause a little bit of confusion in the ships she leads—and I have no other lieutenants capable of filling her position. I could, however, ask Richter to lead her ships. But I’ve asked too much of the man already and I wouldn’t want to fill his responsibilities more than what I ask of him already. I hate to admit it, but Olga’s attention is needed where it is best suited.

>>18311597
That's actually really good, but not because it's good. It shows the inherently solipsistic feminine mindset very well. Obssessed with her hair, insecure, and bitches about her co-worker being ill. Very cunty. Bravo.

I am looking forward to having sex tonight. I had sex this nothing and last night, and every day for the past three months. Something changed in this relationship. We were having sex once a week for years, now all I want to do is have sex with her. Something has changed. Walls are coming down. Feels good and also like I'm going to inevitably cheat on her. Human relationships are doomed and love is temporary. They should explain this to people but they don't

>>18313356
post-covid baby boom?

gonna write a novel called The Cum Jar

Should I drop out of college?

>>18313356
You could also either not cheat. Or tell her this urge of your and let her join you so that it isn’t technically cheating. No need to be a turd

anyone wanna play lichess?

But there's no hope for me
I've been set free
There's no breeze
There's no ship on my sea

~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~

>>18313161
Yeah bro no white person has ever committed murder, great post senpai

>>18307389
I’ve realized a lot of wants in my life regarding doing activities is just the ego wanting to be seen as someone who does those things, ex “I am a poet, I am an outdoorsman”. As opposed to actually being interested and consumed by the activity, I am interested and consumed by the “street cred” doing said activity would bring me.

Realizing this makes it very easy for me to determine what I truly like, and what my ego is currently fixated on. Would I rather write or read poetry or be seen as a poet by others? That is the question to ask if anyone would like to try the same thing on themselves, would you rather do the activity or be known for doing said activity.

Because of this I know I’m not actually interested in poetry.

hello

>>18313920
uwu

>>18311914
I have mental issues that fall in some vague autism/bipolar/shizophrenia grey area. I've had different psychiatrists tell me different things, and there's a lot of overlap between these different labels and mental health isn't that simple, especially when I've fueled my already existing issues with heavy alcohol and drug use in the past

Anyways, I've had mental breakdowns in the past, really only one huge significant one that lasted a while, for a couple weeks at least (it's hard to really say, because it was hard to definitively know anything in this period of time). I also wasn't really using drugs or alcohol at the time, and I've never really experienced anything like it since, at least for nowhere near as long as that one. I also felt like there was evil shit lurking and swirling around me everywhere I went

>>18312791
Family is important, Anon. Do not be so vengeful. Maybe you will understand when you are older.

>>18313909
write a poem about it

I'm trying to get interested in anime since I'm learning Japanese and it would be good practice, but literally none of it looks interesting.

>>18313959
Can’t go wrong with Studio Ghibli

lol this old french geezer is now richer than jeff wtf

>>18313940
nah fuck that. if my uncle literally offed someone you can bet your ass i'd steer very clear of that creep

the little white cuck ball

I was going to buy that Nocturne remaster but decided against it since I had the PSN version that I never got around to. The music and graphics are cozy.

im an adict im an adict im addicted

>>18313959
i got u senpai

>>18313959
Check out Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken! It is an anime about a bunch of kids who decide to try and make their own anime, which sounds retarded and meta but it is a true love letter to the joy of creative collaboration and working together with friends. I say this as someone who can hardly stand anime.

Earlier today I had a half-chub and my balls were really sore. Was my body trying to tell me I should jerk off?

>>18307389
It's become increasingly clear to me I'm probably never getting anywhere with myself so long as I am tethered to the internet, porn and manchild hobbies. I have an inclination to develop spiritually but a strong urge to just say fuck it and mindlessly indulge too.

>>18314272
All the anime I've watched from this list were bad: Bartender, Kaiji, Monster, and Mushishi.

>>18314409
Try other ones. I recommend Kaiba, Memories, Haibane Renmei, and Serial Experiments Lain if you haven't seen it yet. Legend of the Galactic Heroes is also excellent, though it can be a slow burn at over 100 episodes, especially for a newcomer to anime. On the manga side, read all of Tezuka's stuff.

>>18307389
I think this crush I have is barreling towards unhealthy obsession. We want things we can't have; this is turning into some fucked-up material desire and I don't really know what to do about it.

>>18314409
A lot of duds, but Satoshi Kon and the Ghibli are great

>>18307389
What's on my mind? God damn, I aimed at u!

We don't fuck with new niggas, fuck with new niggas
What you in this shit for show? who the fuck is you nigga?
On that gangbangin' shit, this is what I do nigga
So give me room nigga, I act a fool nigga
We be packin' tools nigga, dont get screwed nigga
Red beams on the gun and they aimed at you nigga
We be packin' tools nigga, dont get screwed nigga
Red beams on the gun and they aimed at you nigga

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBinh6AaSao

Is it undignified to seek hair loss treatment? I’m 20. It’s bullshit.

anyone else end up with achy balls after the vaccine? what the fuuug

>>18310953
>anarchists are limp wristed trannies!
The American anarchist movement has been pigeonholed by “progressive” liberal pacifists. This came from a Christian (and no doubt Pentagon) root. No wonder the once materialist socialism of anarchism has been drenched in the spiritualist idealism of transgenderism, and no wonder they win no ground in their once lofty goals.
Christian socialism is mostly a dead end. Start with Tolstoy’s writing on it. But I do recommend Kropotkin and Bakunin

>>18314721
Aches and pains for a day. Is it dry where you’re at? Use a moisturizer.

>>18314680
From what I gather rogain works for a little while but is it really worth that much money?
Don’t beat yourself up over it. Some women like it (if you’re mature, a mature head turns them on) no accounting for taste

I'm still not sure if boredom is a side affect of the over stimulated modern world or the reason the modern world exist

>>18314680
Get on finasteride once you get to a mature hairline, unless you're already there. Rogaine works on some men, but it doesn't stop the source of the issue and Rogaine can fuck up your heart because it's a vasodilator.

With lightning speed, I took the life of a spider.

In a moment it was over, crushed and killed.
Smothered, to immediately be covered and disposed of.

My victim stood facing me, waiting, possibly not being aware I was indeed alive and awake in my gamer chair. From experience, I know this animal can sense when I start to make my move against them. I don't always kill them, but as it waited in front of me, I was trying to recall if this was the second creature I had seen that night. One spider I can live with, two is crossing the line. I grabbed my weapon, a napkin, stood, stretchd and readied my arm. And before one half of my brain knew it, I made the fatal move.

feel free to continue or edit or something, .... or critique.

I tried asking God for help but no answer.

>>18314844
Many such cases.

>>18311901
>but one you can stick your dick in, so it kinda evens out.
Sex is a lot of work to.

>>18313798
yes

CUNO DOESN’T FUCKIN CARE

Evan, have you ever felt what it’s like to get stabbed in the throat? Repeatedly?

Tick-tock, tick-tock

my wife went to bed and naturally I proceeded to jerk off. now I sit here hiding my cum sock in my pocket (as I've just done the laundry, and one lone sock at the bottom of the hamper is a tell tale heart...) and the cum has soaked through to my leg.

>>18314977
sometimes i worry getting married will just be like having a mom again, that said if ur married aren't you old enough to upgrade to a condom instead of a sock

>>18315014
I mean don't get me wrong I fuck my wife a decent amount, but come on, shes a woman, we're at a natural disconnect in this department.
also there are worse things than having a new mom that you can have sex with, I love my wife much more than any of the useless made-up sluts I used to plow.
find a good woman and keep her m8, you're fucked otherwise, sad to say

Jidf working hard deleting thread

>maybe I'll lose my sight in one eye
Books how to deal with something like this ?

over the last year ive pretty much completely drifted way from my very last friend i hung out with regularly and have not gone out socializing since well before winter, mainly because i just chronically dont feel like it

i am now officially alone and life feels very strange and empty. i even started playing some videogames again to cope over the last week which i haven't done in ages

>>18312791
Fuck your family for trying to put that shit on you.

>>18314732
kek this is just sad butters.
>its actually uuuh... christianities fault that pipe dream leftist ideologies have been being subverted by deranged freaks with weird pipe dreams of their own since the days of marx...it totally has nothing to do with the fact that the two are naturally compatible given their inherent nature

>>18315156
Is that Matthew Perry? Good Lord.

>>18315220
No, I pretty much said it was the feds and the progressives herding them. These people bitch about windows breaking. Calling that violence. They’re doing it to BLM. Why else you hear such pushback for some of them coming out as “antifa”. Ooooo, too violent. Don’t be against fascism. Big duh it’s sad
> naturally compatible given their inherent nature
String of poltard mush. Must be the last of your brains

>>18315243
>String of poltard mush
i dont think so, it seems extremely logical that ideologies that promise to do away with authority would attract moral/social deviants who have historically often suffered under authority that limits from and/or punishes them for engaging in their preferred deviancy. id be interested to hear your argument for why you do not think that is the case though, because it seems extremely logically sound to me, and judging by the fact that this was a problem with leftism even going back at least as far as marx, i find further evidence that it isnt JUST some glownigger plot (though they most certainly do take advantage of it, big time)

>>18309341
Rub the small penis above the vagaina

>>18309341
Why would you want to?

The lack of purpose in my life has a crippling effect.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NxPg8cEgO4

I think nofap turned me gay

>>18315612
How do you feel about well toned male navels covered with smooth flawless skin?

>>18315605
i wish i was a dolphin so bad. being a human is so suckish and gay. seeing dolphins swim with their kind in the ocean is majestic. they're like chads of the sea.

>>18307389
It's repulsive to me that people continuously want more and more rather than less and less. Anyone that begins to worship quantity is someone cut off from their parents and family. A pebble is the most popular kind of rock yet it is refined slowly over time by the water! Why can't people just sit still in life? Why must everything plunge forward in turmoil?

>>18313909
because of this exact problem i get an urge to kill myself during every single day. i am a fraud and i must be terminated.

>>18314814
juvenile, embarrassing. is it supposed to be ironic? The use of 'gamer chair' makes me think so.

I wonder why I and so many others have an urge to post here. I really don't understand it. In theory, all my 'issues' are my own doing and could begin to be undone today. I'm not doing that badly, and yet I spend a long time telling myself that I am a failure, imagining my own suicide. Moreover, I want to tell others over the internet. Why? What tired me out so? Rather than the dull questions of how to 'self-improve' or whatever, what about an explanation of this drive against self-improvement, to just moan? That other drive.

>>18315865
validation to some degree.

>>18315865
Commiseration is real. People don't come here for the advice, but to be given advice. If you know what I mean. Most people here probably don't have much of a social circle going on so this is the closest they can get to venting with friends.

>>18315865
By giving your emotion a form of written words, you're releasing it from your head and into the world — and reducing a storm inside your very being to a bunch of alien symbols you have to be trained to comprehend.

There must be a scientific term for this, surely.

i keep talking to myself outloud. that helps a bit with pent up stress and problems.

>>18315274
you will never, ever get that poster to engage in a rational argument or contribute anything of worth whatsoever. she'll maybe engage for one or two posts, then bail and call you names, like she just did, even though what you said was a perfectly reasonable start to an argument.
she has literally never made a good effortpost or argument. I'm not one of those poor anons obsessed with a tripfag either, this is just an honest passive observation from browsing this board for many years. there's no use trying. just don't respond.

I want to write some type of blog or manifesto on my porn/sex addiction or something. They say write what you know, and frankly that's something I know really well.

That or some type of fictionalized manifesto of a crazed conspiracy theorist or something.

I don't know.

>>18313051
I think you gotta be a certain type of writer to do it sustainably. I've thought of it, that if I were to do it I would have to preassure myself into writing more artsy and "deep" than what's natural to me in order to keep my audience. If I was just gonna say how I actually felt about the games I don't think that would keep an audience coming back for more. My review-persona would have to be just that, a persona. I don't think I'd like that over time.

>>18315865
it's fun getting your thoughts out of your head in a way where they will be washed away by time, but where if you're lucky someone will come along and call you a faggot before they are

>>18316109
>I want to write some type of blog or manifesto on my porn/sex addiction or something. They say write what you know, and frankly that's something I know really well.
write it like it is. the youth need to know.

bad days come and bad days go

>>18316220
this too shall pass

>>18316109
Have you tried going outside?
Really, I'm not being flippant. It does wonders for such things.

>>18316283
I would anon, but my house is surrounded by molten lava

It might be time for me to take my leave. I rarely find even one thread worth reading here nowadays. I think my tastes and attitudes have just diverged too far from /lit/'s, or /lit/'s from mine, for me to find anything here anymore. Not that there is really anywhere else to go, but this place is beginning to resemble not visiting anywhere anyway.
Maybe I'll check back in a few months to see if anything has changed, maybe I'll still stick around, I don't know.

>>18316283
I go outside a lot. I take walks, I go to the gym. I work.

>>18315630
Very Homo

amerisharts need to be regulated or sraight up ranged banned if this site is to ever improve.

catholics have aesthetics but poor
protestants are rich but soulless

>>18316290
pour water on it, retard

im so tired bros

>>18315939
Venting, externalizing your inner feelings, catharsis... To name a few.

>>18310926
Low effort and gay.
Only newfags are addicted to (you)s

>>18316306
From your use of "resemble" I can tell you never belonged here.

>>18316313
Do you jerk it to porn while doing so? Didn't think so.

>>18307389
Why the hell did I waste so much time playing video games and doing other bullshit. I wrote a book when I was young (in a spiral notebook it was aweful) but it was there. Then my teenage years hit and I started doing all this stupid shit instead of what I really wanted to do. Now I'm writing again and it feels great. I haven't played any vid games during the weekdays in two weeks and I think my book is alright. But if I hadn't waisted so much time maybe it would be a decent novel that might get published or some shit. But here I am 31 starting with my first novel. Ugh.

U WAS AT THE CLUB
BOTTOMS UP WHEN I FIRST MET U

why didn't you dudes tell me foucault's last book finally got translated to english this year? seriously disappointed in you dudes. this site is very limited and basically sucks.

>>18316657
Very sorry to hear your difficulty with looking up information. Have you tired filing a grievance with the complaint department?

>>18315274
These deviances are happening now. Under that wonderful watchful eye of church and state, no amount of police nor prison space have been able to deter it. The only thing that treats it is close knit communities. Which is exactly what it takes to make the vision of anarcho-communism work. No, the problem with leftism is the “warlordism” of cucks like you who think various degrees of elitist controls is the answer. It’s been the problem the whole time.

>>18316062
I had to sleep, Bozo

>>18307389
The dance went on. She was crying, breaking up inside, but the dance went on. It was far more important than any small, petty neurosis; her dance kept the world turning.

>>18307389
I want to fuck a boy.

>>18317283
i miss flirting with cute boys on the internet. sometimes i even spend hours lamenting over this

My grandma passed away. Although she was already incredibly old (93), she was still pretty healthy. Had it not been the incompetence of my uncles who were living with them she wouldn't have succumbed to covid and lived a few more years. I don't have too many memories of her, but I do feel sorry for my dad. I am however mad at my uncles.

>realize I am not perfect, should not expect myself to be perfect
>some time passes
>realize an implication is that my parents are not perfect
>their fuckups were human
is this forgiveness?

I am a well adjusted person.
>Financially well off
>Satisfying career
>Relationships are good
>Mental Health in a good spot
But I can't help but see myself in other people with diagnosed mental disorders like ADHD, ADD, Anxiety disorders, and depression. Practically I am perfectly healthy, but I can't help but question if seeing a psychiatrist might improve my life beyond where it is at now.
>improve manifesting thought into action
>make enjoyable moments more enjoyable
>live life more focuses and with intent

Am I being entitled to see if I can improve my lot with medication even if for all intents and purposes I don't need it? I'm out here living my best life, but could it be even better with medication?

Started a new job today. Fuck me lads I hate work so much.

>>18316810
not him, but
>church and state
>church
are you a time traveler from the past? your christian bogeyman isn't a thing in the current day and age. for better or worse

>>18318021
What is it?

>>18318024
>church and state
>church
>chuck
>chuck and state
>state
>sneed
>chuck and sneed
confirmed...

>>18307389
this website and it's derivatives have fucked me for the rest of my life.

>>18317844
>forgiveness
what even is forgiveness? Besides the definition. Is it something that is even possible? Their mistakes, human or not, are now woven into your very existence. So even if you forgive, that doesn't completely undo everything. Their mistakes are now you. And you are here and alive. Sometimes forgiveness is overrated. Passive observation fits in place at points, I believe.

I'd say, it's a start. But does forgiveness even have an ending?

>>18317894
>diagnosed mental disorders like ADHD, ADD, Anxiety disorders, and depression

Everyone has some of these parts within them. The array of all mental disorders can be seen in people from time to time in their lifetime. I dont think you need meds but see a therapist and just talk shit out. Meds can be helpful in the short run but a hinderance in the long. (I'm a therapist though, thus biased.

>>18318050
yooo I just built a house on 5 acres. This pic is perfect and Imma make my own homestead. Already have the bees.

>>18318160
Yeah, drugs are a tradeoff.
Take caffeine for example. I am physically addicted to caffeine and it has negative effects like higher blood pressure and less deep sleep, but this is a perfectly acceptable tradeoff for the improvement in productivity and overall enjoyment. If a medication for ADHD had a perfectly acceptable tradeoff I would take that deal every day of the week. What's a good way to approach a psychiatrist without biasing them into thinking either way that I do or don't need medication?

>>18318204
Just go in and be honest about how you feel. I dont know if ADHD meds is the way to go with mild symptoms. The psychiatrist i work with appreciates honesty over exaggerating symptoms to try to get a med. They see lots of people and can usually tell. Just go in state how you feel and see what they say. you can always go elsewhere or decline the meds if you think they wont fit.

>>18317894
Seems like the answer is pretty obvious, Anon. "I don't need medication. Should I take it anyway?" Don't be retarded.

>>18318160
>>18318224
Fuck off therapyfag, your industry is full of witch doctors and you're a glorified self-help columnist.

>>18318245
Nah your missing the point, I don't need caffeine to get by, but I am a better person for having taken it. There are so many other medications that I haven't been able to do a cost/benefits analysis on simply because I'm not a doctor.

>>18318029
Working in despatch at a printers

>>18307467
very nice, anon

>>18307389
So I've basically gotten in medical school for next year. I never wanted to do it but it's the only thing worth doing. Tried law school and I felt immediately an alien. People say life's short but even the four years it took for me to slog through seems like an infinity and I don't know how I'll manage another four. No future seems to be ever certain and there's so absolution in anything. The older you get, more and more of your poetry devours itself. I want to spend this year, perhaps the last year of my unencumbered youth well but five months have already been spent. Would've been nice to travel internationally but that seems impossible. I should've kept dating that girl....maybe I'll go on a long lone roadtrip. Life will be filled with busyness anyhow.

>>18318267
That's the problem... Most likely, caffeine isn't really making you better off. The short term benefits are obvious, but the long term cost isn't apparent right away. It's impossible to judge until the cost is already inflicted. It's a question of optimization. Playing with your brain's chemical balance is almost always less optimal than letting it be the way it is naturally.

Look at amphetamine users. There was a mathematician (whose name i can't remember) who swore by amphetamine, even though he was taking doses that were sure to be neurotoxic. He was frying out his brain but he still swore that it was making him better.

Obv caffeine isn't a big issue, but take extreme caution with things like dexamphetamine (adderall) because even at medicinal doses it can be neurotoxic, if i recall correctly.

When was the last time you had a religious experience? I listened to Steven R. Smith’s album Cities in Decline and its tone struck me. There is something profoundly sobering about this album. Something austere and lacking triviality. Music for a halocaust. An all encompassing bleakness that seems to place you into the solitude of nature. Something deadly. When was the last time you experienced some sublimity that swept you away? No thoughts, no words, just impressions as you felt yourself surrender to its pervasive force. I have become exceedingly weary of triviality and tedium. I have become exceedingly weary of these in my own mind, I often feel very much trapped within myself, within the limits of my juvenile and limited paradigms. Also trapped within the limits of the very juvenile and limited paradigms of the culture at large. Nothing is sacred, nothing elevates or edifies and there is a stark lack of impetus to reach beyond oneself. We stagnant and wheel about in our grooves, in our ideologies, paradigms; our memes and movements. What might have it felt like to transcend this? What is the phenomenology of those sages and seers before the mechanisms of modernity swallowed their gods? How would the Greeks look at us? Would they pity us? If I have understood Nietzsche, they would not be so weak as to pity us. They would have seen the squirming and languishing demons that we are and put us out of our misery. The doughty spears of the Iliad would have pierced us not as they did the noble brothers who fought amongst themselves as worthy opponents, but as inferior beings being released from their wretchedness to the underworld. Would this be our salvation or are we too far gone to be able to receive such an honour? I suspect we are not worthy. When was the last time you had a religious experience?

>>18318370
Very true, I wish data was more accessible so these decisions weren't so hard

I’m getting rid of my smartphone for a while. It’s not paid off. Should I even wait? I don’t even like this thing anymore. I should’ve never bought one.

I'm about to masturbate.

>>18318245
>Fuck off therapyfag

Cringe. Just because you don't want to face the trauma of your uncle laughing at your Jew mutilated dick doesn't mean therapy isn't helpful.

>>18318523
Don't do it

>>18318523
okay fine but don't watch porn

>>18318562
Therapy is a joke. These people and their methods have nothing to do with science. If a 10 year old doesn't like school they pump him full of amphetamine and slap some arbitrary label on him of a condition that probably doesn't exist per say. They tell awkward kids confused by human mating practices to mutilate themselves and take hormone pills. Fuck psych majors, freud was a pseud, the entire industry is full of shit. The number of therapists and psychologists who AREN'T full of shit is like a drop of piss in an ocean of shit.

>>18318523
watch Bible Black

>>18318589
You're aware that not all therapists and psychologists think alike right? I work with adults and do not approve of giving medications to children nor to I agree with body mutilation. Yea most of us think Freud was a hack as well. I also use evidenced based practices. those are practices that produce results in a scientific setting. You've heard of science right? I can also bill insurances which means it is effective enough to make money and therefore has merit. So before you go around spewing your child-like opinions about shit you know nothing about, why don't you ask some clarifying questions? You may think it is a joke and that's your, opinion. But the people I have helped get their life back WITHOUT drugs would most likely disagree. And there is a long line.

As he passed through the suburb, Taras Bulba saw that his Jew, Yankel,
had already erected a sort of booth with an awning, and was selling
flint, screwdrivers, powder, and all sorts of military stores needed
on the road, even to rolls and bread. "What devils these Jews are!"
thought Taras; and riding up to him, he said, "Fool, why are you
sitting here? do you want to be shot like a crow?"

Yankel in reply approached nearer, and making a sign with both hands,
as though wishing to impart some secret, said, "Let the noble lord but
keep silence and say nothing to any one. Among the Cossack waggons is
a waggon of mine. I am carrying all sorts of needful stores for the
Cossacks, and on the journey I will furnish every sort of provisions
at a lower price than any Jew ever sold at before. 'Tis so, by
heavens! by heavens, 'tis so!"

Taras Bulba shrugged his shoulders in amazement at the Jewish nature,
and went on to the camp.

Gogol, N (1835). Chapter IV, Taras Bulba

>>18318614
You got a degree to be paid to be a friend to the most desperate in society.

What went so wrong for you?

>>18318614
>in a scientific setting
>You've heard of science right?
Go fuck yourself, Q&A diagnoses are not scientific, and the people you 'helped' would have gotten the same results talking to a hobo over a beer.

>I can also bill insurances which means it is effective enough to make money and therefore has merit.
HAHAHA, what a great scientific metric from this scientific science man. Get the fuck out.

I just think the low brow has gotten more appealing

>>18318623
>>18318758
having been treated by psychologists I do think there is more to it than that. I also think Q&A diagnoses are a relevant tool for treatment

>>18318623
A lot I guess. Salaried 70k/year private insurance retirement account. Just built a 4,000 sq./ft home too :(

>>18318758
>Q&A diagnoses are not scientific,
Wtf are you even talking about? You clearly don't even know what evidenced based means if you think it is Q&A. The Q&A was referring to you asking therapists different questions about shit you disagree with. You know, educating yourself rather than operating on your own opinions. I don't really care what you do or don't think I was just talking to you about a subject you seem to not have a good grasp on. But since you've got all the answers carry on bud.

How do people handle so many hobbies? Sometimes I think I have autism where I feel like I need to do the same thing everyday and if I move away from that I'm wasting my time. Doesn't seem healthy.

>>18307389
I'm no longer feeling fully stuck in life, and I've regained my interest in reading.

>>18307985
Damn, you write really well. Up there with other war books like Life and Fate and Dispatches.

I havent pooped in 4 days now

The only time i'm ever sincere is when i'm drunk and incoherently yelling at people

>>18319112
drink some soup or do an enema

>>18319112
>>18319124
i was gonna post a webm of the elephant enema but the last time i posted that on /lit/ the jannies got butthurt

I tried psilocybin for the first time last saturday while doing a bike ride on a nice day.
Wasn't a complete change of my perception as some people have said they have with psychedelics, but it was interesting.

>>18319138
what dose?

butt butt butt butt butt butt butt

holioooooooooooooooooooooo

>>18314480
I love Haibane and Lain, but Texh is the most substantive imo

>>18319665

Every night I dream the strangest dreams, their weirdness is unique to me as I have yet to meet a person who experiences the same. I have several dreams a night and I accuratly remember the majority of them. Would like to talk about my dreams to knowledgeable person sometime. All I've heard so far is wtf, I don't care or you're weird. I think I'm pretty cool and I like my dreams.

>>18319282
2g. I also did a very small 0.17g with friends last weekend just to see how it felt
Didn't have any visuals but it was a lot more pronounced than the first time

>>18319949
write them down exactly as you remember them. What comes to mind as soon as you recall the images, places, and people you see in those dreams? Some of the things I realised about myself from dreams really blew me away.

>>18320185
I tried a 100 micro gram dose of LSD and it was the best thing that had ever happened to me.
Tried 2.5g of mushrooms a while after and it wasn't anything like it. I'm gonna try a 5g dose tomorrow though.

i´m the only guy in a very small university, all of my classmates are bitches, and all they do is whine because classes are complex and teachers challenge us to be better, i want a male to join so i can engage in a no bitching conversation, jezz they're not even hot, fucking bitches all they do is complain and seek for confrontation. fuck them

>>18320336
Good luck. I haven't tried LSD but may if the opportunity ever arises with friends, maybe it'd be a better psychedelic experience

>>18320367
listen to me, stay away from drugs like lsd and shit, be careful

>>18320403
bro stay away from internet, be careful

>>18320367
go for it, life changing experience. I personally prefer solo trips but with the right set and setting with friends it can be beautiful too

>>18320403
Maybe a little more explanation is in order.

>>18320497
If you are looking for enlightenment, then you have to make an effort for it. If you want to have a good time, it's better to use drugs that are not psychodelics.

>Maybe a little more explanation is in order.

What kind of explanation? You know, as I do, that this stuff can be dangerous and that you can mess up your whole life with it. So don't put it on the line or be too reckless with it just because some people say it isn't that bad. Just because it didn't end badly for others doesn't mean it's harmless. You should think about what else you want to do in life before you ruin your chances with something like this.

It's up to you. But pls don't give me that "explanation" bullshit, you know exactly what I mean.

>>18320497
My brother developed schizophrenia from his marijuana, mushroom, and lsd habits

>>18320543
Can you describe his symptoms? I consumed a massive amount of psychedelics in my youth and abused weed from 17 til 24 and I’ve got a fragile grasp on reality and the darkness seems suffocating.

>>18320560
The symptoms of schizophrenia are pretty obvious my man. You wouldn't have to ask

>>18320568
Guess I’m in some sort of clear; depersonalization is a fucker, though.

Don’t do drugs, kids. It’s a lot of money to stunt yourself.

>>18320540
>pls don't give me that "explanation" bullshit
Fair enough. But don't give me that 'listen to me' bullshit with no reason. You might have had a relevant story.

>>18320577
If only the youth knew. It's such a shame