/lit/ - Literature

first

fuck niggers

>>18276810
the Quran raises at least those two things as very, very problematic. I am not under the impression that this has been what has led to wars, no, but to say that Islam does not have these problems with christianity is.. wrong. Or at least these criticisms of christianity.

I think I might become a volunteer firefighter. Where I live that comes with a non zero chance of actual death. I feel like it is the last chance a man has for genuine heroism in the modern age.

>>18276842
Henry Rollins would never say such a thing

>>18276850
linking this because I just posted it

White people who don't season food are race traitors. Stop being the stereotype.

On a literary note I read some of John today. Kinda mystified by the bit where Jesus talks about his body being literal food and drink and like thousands of his followers leave him because of how kooky that is.

is it worth reading?

>>18276886
Only with a font that makes it paradife loft.

>>18276860
"It could always he worse" may not soothe your existential anguish, but it is advice that genuinely does help me get through the more minor predicaments of the day to day. For example, that 30 minute late and crowded train at the end of a difficult and exhausting day, or the busy weekend which doesn't let you enough time to recover from the work week etc. etc. Older versions of me would let such inconveniences drive me mad, but these days I think of my grandfather who worked his whole life in a miserable foundary in a miserable town, but still managed to raise 7 kids and be a generally good person. It can always be worse, which helps you get through the day to day miseries. It's the This Is Water thing. It's a truism, but it has its place.

But as DFW's life itself proves, it's not also not a panacea.

>>18276870
not everything needs to be seasoned all the time, sometimes it is nice to taste only the flavor of the thing you are actually eating

>>18276886
im going to read it but mostly because i said i would around 3 years ago without knowing what it was. I have already tried once and failed so now i am reading the whole kjv which should help me, though i might try and read some of shakespeare's poetry which may also help

I hate this goddamn place. It just makes me cynical and more depressed. I was happier before the 4chan days.

>>18276907
One cannot truly know the poverty of asceticism until one has dwelt some time in flavortown.

>>18276919
Try making funny posts. I think people get depressed when they make too serious of posts.

Should I use a pseudonym for my first novel? I don't want this garbage to be associated with my real name when I'm a rich and famous writer.

>>18276926
dangeroufly bafed

>>18276934
I mean sometimes sure, but who doesn't?

My only romantic experience in life is when I a girl asked me if she could hold my hand in elementary school.
I've already peaked

>>18276920
I'm not an ascetic though, sometimes I add in 15 ingredients and spices and herbs, and sometimes I will literally just eat the thing plain or with only salt and pepper, because I feel like it.

How do I let go of fear? It's tough with my weak stomach. Hard going through a rough time when you constantly feel like throwing up.
>>18276919
Well pack your shit up and go

>>18276957
NGMI

>>18276919
>one of us
>one of us
>one of us
>one of us
>one of us
>one of us

Maybe the wrong place to ask, but does anyone have any advice on alleviating phone addiction? It's not so much that I spend a lot of time on my phone, it's that I check it a million times a day, no matter what I'm doing. I'll check it in between washing individual dishes. I'll check it on the toilet, then check it while walking from the toilet to my room. I'll check it between taking off each of my shoes. It drives me nuts. Of course I'm not *doing* anything on my phone, it's just a compulsive habit. I know the obvious answer is to leave my phone in another room but there are times when I need the damn thing on my person. What do then?

>>18277020
well, why do you want to stop

life is just trying to take care of a monkey. it's hecekin pokemon

>>18277040

>>18276830
Where can I buy 'Hitler's war' from David Irving?

>>18276898
I have George Washington's farewell address and I can't read the fucking thing because of that script

>>18277038
besides the fact that it's a compulsive habit and they generally bad in and off themselves, it makes me anxious, I feel like my brain can't rest when I'm thinking about checking my phone every 5 seconds.

>>18277020
Maybe make unlocking it a pain in the ass, so there's a buffer between the impulse to check it and actually checking it. Disable face/fingerprint unlocking and give it a long password.

>>18277020
I think the only way to break this kind of habit is to practice mindfulness, clearing your head, constant prayer/meditation, etcetera; there are a hundred names for it, they all mean the same thing: only allow yourself to engage in thoughts relevant to your current activity. If something random pops in your head, like a desire or a memory or tonight's plans, don't engage it, just let it go by, and get back to whatever you're doing. It's surprisingly difficult, much harder than it seems. Just try to keep your head clear, excess thoughts are ignored, and remind yourself that you have time later for idle thought.

>>18277020
Turn your phone off and put it in a different room

This burger place i'm at is taking fucking forever to make my fucking burger

>>18277052
If you can't find a print copy, it's here on libgen

http://libgen.rs/book/index.php?md5=F1331E6686D65708C3CCC2E1CB67EB8F

>>18277060
seems like that checking your phone is merely a symptom and not the actual illness, I would say try to relax, but that's pretty much worthless as far as advices go
try breathing exercises they help me calm down a lot

>>18277090
You wanted to extra spit.

>>18277137
The girl behind the counter is a sexy latina. She could spit in all my meals

>>18277020
first step to breaking out of bad habits is to first break it out of your subconscious routine, put a post it note on your phone or change your idle screen to remind you to stop checking your phone, so every time you subconsciously do so you can catch yourself mid act and make a decision on whether or not you really need to check your phone.

>>18276926
Yes, you should. May I suggest a pseudonym:

>Faggot

>>18277151
The person flipping your burger however is a fat hairy dude with a mustache that still holds last week's fries.

>>18276870

I think this stereotype is funny because white people literally conquered most of the world in search of spices. Its only the most modern post-feminism white people who dont know how to cook anymore.

>>18277170
it's extra funny because despite of that they still don't season their food

>>18277168
Stop ruining my fantasy

I'm tired of living in Argieland
Pls make it stop

fuck being alive. i didnt ask to be born. it doesnt feel like it. i find my faith to be a burden; i believe yet i doubt that my belief will ever bring me what it promises because of how damaged i am, and all of my sins. i resent and doubt it all. i just wanted a simple life, but the world is built upon lies. all my my mother wanted was a happy family but my father left her to raise me alone. i'm almost thirty and i still can't make peace with reality... i was always precocious, and i always knew where to look to find the right answers, even if i couldn't explicate it myself, but i carried it too its conclusion and now the grand drama of the world has risen up out of the darkness of ignorance to address me. i'm not pure nor accomplished. why then, must i constantly have to contend with this feeling? the burden of the pandit-minded is to bear witness to the mystery and still be found wanting.. why did He have to set my delusions? they destroyed me and i'll never be perfect. i'm not a saint. sainthood is for people who aren't like me. how am i supposed to live like this? if i am cursed then kill me now! I already died once! must i die two more times?

anyone wanna play lichess?

>>18277263
Me :)

We are going to have to deal with global warming. Each and every one of us will be important. Learn some skill with practical aplication, be it medicine, farming, radio-stuff...
Write books and memories, they are important too.

>>18277273
make a link, casual mode because I'm new to the game

i currently am disenchanted with my life. i wish that i had money. but deep inside i know that money isnt everything. i wish i could live off my art. im better off than i was a couple years ago but its hardly cathartic. i wish i lived in an another country where i wouldnt have to deal with the weight of the modern world but i also feel that im just going to be the same when i move there. ultimately i want a family but i know that i must prove myself to the world first, meaning i need a stable career so i could provide for them. i go back again to my artwork and feel dejected since im not making money off my passion. im in school for a more lucrative career but im also scared that when i have this career, i will be too busy or occupied to make art. maybe thats a cope, its all conjecture but these fears come cyclically everyday. its hard to sit still. i feel like im constantly losing time. my perfect day consists of working out in the morning and making breakfast (2-3 hours) making art (3-4 hours) reading (1-2) hours but then what? i dont know

>>18277287
Try volunteer work, I'm a useless shit but that feeling of having helped make someone else's life better is quite fulfilling, might even let you meet some interesting people or gain a new perspective on life.

I can't tell if my brain broke because of dopamine overdose or withdrawal.

same symptoms, opposite cures

Stagnation really is the worst thing you could do in life.

>>18277273
here's the link
https://lichess.org/MkLoY5FO

>>18276919
Which boards do you visit?
I became much happier after abandoning /pol/,

>>18277308
True. If you look back at how you were 2 years ago and don't think "what an idiot", what the fuck are you doing?

>>18277308
life is pointless, if your entire goal is to simply survive, then why are you even trying, you're just a slave of your lizard brain at that point, fucking live a little, bring some fucking meaning to your life

>>18277310
well, if anyone wanna play enter here

>>18276830
Why do people like to humanize monsters so much nowadays, pisses me off most monsters are either already humanized/Sanitized/Made cute, I don't know why, it just does, vampires are not meant to be sympathized with, nor are werewolves, or demons. It just makes me angry.

>>18277342
black and white is too juvenile in the modern consciousness

I would really like to try surfing but I live in Pennsylvania. I’m in the Philadelphia are so the New Jersey shore isn’t so far, but it’s far enough that I don’t think I can go to practice very often.

>>18277287
How I live my life has gotten me interested in the philosophy of habit. Not because I believe it will help me change, but if I am going to be cemented in them I might as understand it.

William James made a famous study of habit. Though he probably didn't intend it, I find what he has to say quite discouraging.

>So far as we are thus mere bundles of habit, we are stereotyped creatures, imitators and copiers of our past selves. And since this, under any circumstances, is what we always tend to become, it follows first of all that the teacher's prime concern should be to ingrain into the pupil that assortment of habits that shall be most useful to him throughout life. Education is for behavior, and habits are the stuff of which behavior consists.

Alternatively, a man without proper habits is doomed to fitful indecision:

>There is no more miserable human being than one in whom nothing is habitual but indecision, and for whom the lighting of every cigar, the drinking of every cup, the time of rising and going to bed every day, and the beginning of every bit of work are subjects of express volitional deliberation. Full half the time of such a man goes to the deciding or regretting of matters which ought to be so ingrained in him as practically not to exist for his consciousness at all. If there be such daily duties not yet ingrained in any one of my hearers, let him begin this very hour to set the matter right.

Neither fate is desirable. It's no good to be stuck with bad habits, but neither is it beneficial to hesitate at every step. Unlike good habits, which have to be worked for and earned, bad habits gather like dust. They are a natural resting tendency and if you do nothing else you will acquire them whereas education or effort are necessary to instill good habits. Either way, habit cannot be escaped, any more than the laws of nature. They are the laws of human gravity.

All is not lost, however. Though they are inevitable we are not completely the slaves of habit. James offers two guidelines, one for acquiring good habits and eliminating bad ones.
(1/2)

>>18276848
Put the wet stuff on the red stuff.

>>18277388
>The first is that in the acquisition of a new habit, or the leaving off of an old one, we must take care to launch ourselves with as strong and decided an initiative as possible. Accumulate all the possible circumstances which shall reinforce the right motives; put yourself assiduously in conditions that encourage the new way; make engagements incompatible with the old; take a public pledge, if the case allows; in short, envelop your resolution with every aid you know. This will give your new beginning such a momentum that the temptation to break down will not occur as soon as it otherwise might; and every day during which a breakdown is postponed adds to the chances of its not occurring at all.

Here James suggests a proto-behaviorist approach to habit modification. Habits live in circumstances, like a pinball we bounce off our environments in regular set patterns. If we remove the context in which habits form, new ones will be forced to replace them.

>The second maxim is, Never suffer an exception to occur till the new habit is securely rooted in your life. Each lapse is like the letting fall of a ball of string which one is carefully winding up: a single slip undoes more than a great many turns will wind again. Continuity of training is the great means of making the nervous system act infallibly right.

This is basically the rule of consistency. Imprinting a new habit means never allowing a relapse into the old bad habit. You have to be vigilant about nipping it in the bud

>>18277349
It still uses it wildly, but why not with monsters?

>>18277423
Not the same anon, but it's not just fantasy. Everyone's trying to get comfy with every single plant and animal it seems. There's always a story about some tourist getting yeeted by a bison or something because the danger they faced didn't occur to them.
I feel like to have the reader truly understand danger they have to have been in real danger at least once in their life. There's no way to really convey it to them if the idea of danger is completely foreign.
My brother asked me what I want for my birthday and I told him to just get me something small and took a picture of a wrapped present I already bought him for his birthday and told him I hope he enjoys it.
I never know what to ask for. It was so easy when we were little. It was just the latest video game but I can buy anything I want now on a whim and I really don't want much.
One day I'll figure out what to ask for.

moving to this country for a year
what should I expect?

>>18277474
Well, outside of culture shock this is something I found on it. It's bad enough to make wikipedia.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paris_syndrome
I guess it's like any other state sized country in Europe. If you're in a rich area you're fine, and if you're in the slums you're probably gonna be roughing it.

>>18277474
They hate tourists. A lot.
There's plenty of gypsies there.
Those fuckers love to party until 4 A.M.

>>18276830
I'm afraid of posting here because I feel any novel idea I have will be stolen

>>18277458
An interesting theory, I understand that today people (In the west, at the very least) are very sheltered, I am too, still annoys me.
Also, can relate to the gift thing.

>>18276870
Food is just nourishment before the next battle

https://youtu.be/sjxd9kwPtvM
i like this song. i want to buy two turtles and name one them aloysius.

>>18277509
I never share my A game for that reason. Thankfully I am such a fruitful creative genius that even my second and third rate ideas can be freely distributed to enlighten the intellectually deprived masses. I have no need of them.

Gotta keep rolling
https://youtu.be/NIqm73xsias

>>18277617
My book series is one I've got going over several books and it's all copyrighted. On top of that it has had the same characters going on for over a decade now. This tree that grew up in the shadows has some pretty strong roots.
I guess that's why I don't care about doing snapshots. If someone copies my work I'll just swallow it as fanfiction.

I don’t really know what to do. My lease is ending soon and I have no reason to stay here so I won’t. At the same time, I really can’t bear to do this job anymore. That means my options are 1) drop the job and live with parents, which I really really don’t want to do or 2) or live on my own but have to keep the job, which I also really really don’t want to do. I am stuck!

>>18277628
That hit so hard I can feel my heartbeat in my head. It's time to sit down and be creative too.
I'll post a version of Rolling Girl as a link when I hit 100 pages, because it encapsulates the journey very well.
Time for one more dash through the darkness.

>bought a guitar pedal and the plastic thing holding the power supply socket broke during transport
>the USB port of my phone charger broke and got stuck inside it
>the same thing just happened to the phone jack of my laptop
What the fuck bros

I BELIEVE IN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU! I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE ARE GOING TOWARDS BUT I KNOW WE ARE ALL GOING TO MAKE IT! WE MIGHT BE SAD AND TIRED AND ALONE NOW BUT THAT WON'T LAST LONG! SOMEDAY WE WILL REACH THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN TOGETHER! WE WILL SEE THE SUNRISE! YOU JUST GOTTA BELIEVE IT!

>>18277308
And i've been stagnating for the last 5 years lmao. Im a walking joke.

Tell me how bad and cringe this poem I wrote for a bumblebee on my back porch is please

>>18278220
Thanks anon. I needed this.

>>18278220
Thanks bro... I needed that...

>>18278259
I dont think you're a joke anon.

>>18278220
Nah, I legitimately hope a lot of people on /lit/ suffer immensely. I’ve been here since 2009. There are some seriously depraved, cruel, and sadistic people on here who deserve the pain they’re married to. I stopped feeling bad for anons in general around GamerGate. These people create their own prisons out of ignorance, arrogance, stupidity, insecurity, hatred, and most of all laziness. Fuck em.

>>18278287
>I legitimately hope a lot of people on /lit/ suffer immensely.
Sounds like you're hateful yourself tbqh

>>18278287
kys psychopath

>>18277298
>dopamine overdose
Are you using meth frequently? If the answer is no, then you can't "burn out" dopamine receptors. That makes no sense at all.

My spermatocele hurts bros

>>18278262
Desu better than my mom's poetry desu

>>18278287
the same guys that whine about how they have no friends are the same guys spamming nazi bullshit in every thread and then wonder why no one likes them, or the guys bitching about being stuck in their mom's house for life are in the marx threads raging against getting a job. wasting their life for dead ideologies.

Technically I'm supposed to be in the top 10% of income earners but it doesn't feel like it. The most obvious reason is that the government takes half, and then the cost of living knocks out another 25%. This system seems almost structurally designed to disadvantage people trying to rise out of poverty into the middle class. I admit I am not the most wise with my money, I could choose to pinch pennies, but what does it matter to me if pinched pennies will only add up significantly 30 years from now when I am tired of life?

The only real path to wealth presented as an official option is to invest ( read: gamble in the gussied up casino that is the stock market which could meltdown at any second) or to become an "entrepreneur" which requires either connections or preexisting riches to invest, luck, or gifted business skills, and often all four. Now it is politically in vogue to raise the wages of people who put no blood, sweat and tears into bettering themselves and putting even more pressure on people in my position. Let it be said I will not lament the death of this society.

>>18278322
Nigger you are legit low IQ. Do you really think those people are going around in real life broadcasting what they say here to the public? Correlation doesnt = causation

>>18278322
How do you know either of those are the same people

>>18277061
>>18277062
>>18277071
>>18277132
>>18277156

Thank you for the tips

>>18278220
I think that's kind of the beauty. We're all shades passing through. Indistinguishable unless you recognize someone's posting habits in the shadows, but in the end we're all united in our love of literature.
We'll all find our sunrise. We simply have to watch for false ones.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skV-q5KjrUA
(A 10 minute audio story about a man seeking his own sun.)

>>18278330
anyone who thinks the stock market is a "casino" is utterly plebeian.

>>18278302
You can't burn out on them but you can upregulate them. That means that your brain produces an overabundance of receptors, which requires a greater amount of the dopamine neurotransmitter to potentiate the neuron. What people mean by the imprecise term "burn out receptors" is this neural adaptation where it requires more of the same to achieve a previous result. When you had half of the available dopamine in your synaptic clefts, it took half the number of receptors to trigger activation. When you have more of the transmitter than your receptors can accomodate, the post-synaptic cell generates more receptors. However a certain number of receptors must bind with the transmitters to activate the neural potentiation, which means you have to smoke more weed or snort more coke or jerk off to wilder porn to achieve the same result as previously, hence addiction.

>>18278360
Lol have you been paying attention? It's all a speculative frenzy these days.

THERE'S AFUCKING FAGGOT MOUSE IN MY OVEN FOR FUCKS SAKE MAN

MY CAT IS TOTALLY AFK WHAT A USELESS BITCH

>>18278394
yeah the pikers on reddit

>>18278360
In Thinking Fast and Slow Kleinman studied stockbrokers and found it was total RNG if they beat the market or not.

>>18278410
So tesla is a perfectly rational investment choice. I can spend all day listing off the irrational absurdness of the stock market, its tech-obsession and countless pump and dump schemes. And what about crypto? While crypto isn't technically part of the stock market, it's the same difference. Ever heard of the dot com bubble?

As the coomer coomed his final coom, he stared shamefully at the seeds of his labor. He mistakenly let out a sigh of relaxation—unable to calculate the soon-to-come chain of events, as the coomfog clouded his judgement. His muscles relaxed, his grip loosened. A mistake. The sock fell to the ground with a splat, and the coomer coomed his final coom

>>18278389
I just want to know what I have to do to take pleasure from the act of creating again. I don't know if I got addicted to the joy of it, or if I got so used to failure that I couldn't enjoy trying anymore

>>18277163
Thanks I like this one. Look for a book coming out in winter under the name O.P. Faggot. Cant tell you the title yet as it hasn't come to me in a dream as of this typing.

>>18278455
I wasn't really following the comment chain so I may have lost some context. I was just jumping in randomly. What is the difference between passion and addiction? It's a worthy philosophical question. How might you neurochemically distinguish the two? What does that tell us about the difference between neurophysiology and intent?

I think the difference ultimately comes down between endogenously induced and exogenously induced reward pathways. In other words a passion is a form of self-stimulation, and a system which rewards itself will naturally be more well-adjusted than a system which is dependent on external rewards. Addiction is the dependence on an external input to achieve a result the system cannot produce from its own resources.

You didn't get addicted, you lost a passion. Nobody has a passion for meth, just as nobody has an addiction to painting. In the first case the arrow of motivational causation is coming from the outside in, whereas in the second case the motivation is coming from the inside out. It might be for reasons that are completely unrelated to the subject in question.

>>18277423
Because nearly monster is a metaphor for people, and most authors realize that encouraging people to view other people as monsters, creates monsters.

Also "subversion of expectations" is almost anti-subversive at this point.

Not that there isn't plenty of fiction where a monster is just that, still.

>>18278483
then what do I need to enjoy the process again?

my creativity got worn down through every venue. I struggled with my writing and the stress of it made it ever harder. my interest in dnd withered because nobody cared when I had a new setting idea or just outright insulted it

I've hit the point where having an idea only brings me a momentary flash of pleasure before it fizzles. I need a cure

>>18276919
Newfag.
I don't even remember the pre 4chan days

>>18278396
>MY CAT IS TOTALLY AFK WHAT A USELESS BITCH
my cat is totally useless too when it comes to eating bugs and catching critters. stupid lazy american cats nowadays...

>>18278286
If only you knew. Im literally a living example of how you can fuck up your life.

>>18278553
Hi me, it's me again. Just wanted to say we should eat more vegetables.

>>18278595
No you're not anon. Your a person going through some shit but that doesn't define you. You're a person who made bad decisions, not a bad person. I love you.

>>18276830
Do you think in the future they'll br like 'remember when people had to type up their novels on a keyboard. Brutal.'

Picked up Stoner and holy shit you fuckers weren’t kidding. Finished it in one sitting, feeling peaceful and comfy after that. Trying to enjoy the feeling while it lasts

>>18278604
I'm not the Anon who called himself a joke. I said 'hi me' to indicate I relate to his post. But you're a good person, and I love you too, unironically.

>>18278616
Hah. I can scarcely imagine scribes sitting in those old church corridors transcribing novels for mass production.
People like us write novels, but imagine having to pen it over and over with ink and a bird feather, and keep it all legible.
Our craft certainly attracts the tenacious. No one else could do it.
(A little sense of humor helps though.)

Last I checked Obama was president. And what's with Mexicans being from Mexico?

I submitted an essay and everyone called me an idiot. I've never felt so alive.

It’s wild how much you can turn your life around for the better. Will the people you lost ever come back?

Doubtful. But making new friends in a new city with no emotional baggage weighing you down is fuckn rad.

>>18278553
This was meant for you but I sent it to someone else by accident >>18278604

>>18278643
Hahaha thank you vegetables are good too

>>18278287
Joke’s on you, never been better lmfaooooo

I come from under the sun, and my name is Son. Beneath the sun I come, son. My name is Son I come from Dad. Dad, your son, come call me Son, your sun, under the sun. Son he called me, son he said, under the sun he said, son, the sun I come, son.

>>18278647
Right?! Will the future be those same people but they have to read every word in a physical book to save it to the neural net as a .book file or some shit.

'I can't believe I have to physically read these words snd not just instantly know the whole book at once.'

Or imagine the scribe for the Bible 'yea...we actually need this in French now...sorry

>>18278287
God I wish I could read

Why else should one be in a foreign country, when not in war time, except for work or for a girlfriend?

I asked myself this, sitting on a bridge in Funan in 1998, watching the dogs eat the scraps of the morning market. Later a friend, speaking English, would tell me that my phone was ringing all morning. I had neglected to show up to a job.

>>18278703
Where do you live now? Did you ever find a girlfriend? Is China really a shit hole like they say it is?

https://youtu.be/uytLtvZzevg

>>18278655
what was your essay about?

>>18278710
I was in China but also in other countries. These places have gotten remarkably more civilized since the 90's. Canton is a totally comfortable place to live.

Yes, I have had girlfriends, many of which were sane.

I want a bigboob gf so bad bros

>>18276843
Theology is the only thing Islam has against any other religion except Jews whom are just usurious and conniving bastards.

>>18277091
Thanks anon but I already have a pirated electronic copy. I guess I'll just have to watch out for a copy in a used bookstore

How do I come to terms with being a bisexual faggot? I'm coping by telling myself I'm just like the Hellenes

>>18278660
You wouldnt love me if you'd know me. I guess thanks for the effort.

>>18278891
Big boobas are not that great anon. Even on young girls they tend to sag pretty hard and it only gets worse. Small breasts is where it's at.

>>18279345
What is there to cope about? If you're bi, you're bi - accept it and keep living your life.

>>18278604
>I love you.
We really need to stop with that cringe shit.
You don't "love" him, you don't know the first thing about them.
Stop trivialiazing what is otherwise a noble sentiment, "loving" means something, you don't "love" everyone

>>18279519
agreed

>>18278891
Good lord that's about the ugliest thing I've seen considering it doesn't have any manifestly apparent deformities to appeal to. You need correction, kid.

>>18278969
Just go to David Irving's own site.
They are new although still not all to cheap.

>>18279492
>>18279552
Holy homogay

>>18279519
This. Fuck all the people who routinely say "I love you" to faceless anonymous strangers, what a completely meaningless way to devalue a concept like Love

il tempo te lo ricordano solo gli altri

perché ciò che nascondi
prima o poi si perde

perché se è lento o veloce
non dipende da niente

puoi chiederlo alle pietre o
agli alberi o alla tua voce

quella che riconoscono solo gli altri

come i favori che mi devi
che io solo so, come quello di

salvarmi, perché conoscere
risposte - come amarti -

non si può

>>18278262
I made a revision

>>18279345
But growing up and realising sexuality isn’t real and the perpetuation of such only helps marketing, advertising and businesses. The medicalisation of sexuality is extremely recent development and obviously riddled with problematic assumptions. I remember a particularly funny Twitter thread from a few years ago involving people arguing whether or not a man who stimulates his mouth and anus during sex with a trans woman’s penis is heterosexual behaviour. Absurdity.

The Greeks weren’t “gay” or “straight”. Animals don’t have sexual orientations.

>>18280009
heh, sounds exactly like what a closeted fag would say

>>18280023
sure

I like cum town because it makes me feel like I'm having a good time with some friends. I don't even find them particularly funny. It's just that I'm lonely and don't have anyone 2listen2. Wish I had a friend group like this desu

>>18280032
i used to listen to programming podcasts because it made me feeling like i was hanging out with my coworkers talking shop, but then i realized i will never get hired at any of these fucking places, and it go too depressing so i stopped. i remember the episode too. they were talking about using server side swift to generate html dynamically using protocols like templates. i was like oh shit that's a rad idea, but then i was like fuck this, these dudes would instantly delete my resume the second it hit their inbox if i applied to the places they're talking about.

After much thinking and indecision I made a tinder account yesterday, just to see if it would boost my ego or not.I now know that it shows new profiles to everyone to get you hooked,but why are 99% of the likes from men?Specially odd as I made it clear that im heterossexual
>sorry for the blog post , but I dont know where to ask this, and it is whats on my mind right now

>>18279519
>>18279528
>>18279969
There isn't some singular kind of love. There are different times and it can be on a scale. It is possible to love a stranger. To have admiration human to human. Especially someone who is going through a hard time.
>you don't "love" everyone
You're absolutely right anon I don't. Especially sny of you lowley people. Who go on the internet and get upset at someone expressing love and sympathy towards another person. Idgaf who that other anon is or what they've done. There on this planet the same as us all. For me, that can be reason enough. For you I'm sure it is different and that's fine too. Hopefully you see things different someday. But for now, continue to turn your nose up at people being happy.

What anime or manga do you guys like?

I really loved the Fate/stay night series. I’m a little sad that it’s over.

>>18280221
>projecting this hard

>>18280085
>these dudes would instantly delete my resume the second it hit their inbox if i applied to the places they're talking about.
why would they do that?

>>18280032
stavs laugh is infectious
adams failure to be cool or likeable while still being part of the group subconsciously makes you think you'd be accepted into the gang

>>18276830
It seems clear that as the empire breaks down, so does any organized social being. Thus decadence is born, in this era we call it post-structuralism. I tell you now, reader, that where any art in this day expresses any notion of cohesive social being, it would be scorned as tyrannical and evil. Look only a few decades back and one can see many fine examples of high art striving for the apotheosis (see the films of George Cukor). Now there is but egoistic self propaganda, as if it were public self modulation and displaying of one's inner being (see anything cosmopolitan post the year 2015).

>>18279969
nah I like it

>>18280032
its ok fren, me too

>>18278891
I had a big boob gf
Then I broke her heart

>>18277308
your just coping from the cringe, just grill m8

>>18280386
Have a good day anon :)

feel depressed :)

>>18280402
Honestly, I’ve seen tech bros be like that. That’s Wall Street culture which has been around for a long time and at some point, American tech bros started emulating Wall Street bros, obnoxious cut throat belittling attitudes and all.

Should I live with a parent while I try to get my writing income off the ground? I’ve only been out of college for a couple of years but I started a couple of years late too so I’m feeling a little bit old to be doing that.

>>18280483
It's certainly the financially smart thing to do. I think most young people are ashamed of living with their family, and would rather run up debt and lead a more stressful life as a price for their 'independence.'
It's much better to save up and buy some property, than to throw money into the void that is rent (paying someone else's mortgage)

>>18280909
(btw I'm a financially irresponsible hypocrite, but I still think this is the correct advice)

>>18276886
Yes. It’s one of, if not the, best things ever written. If Milton’s poetic imagery doesn’t awe you then you must either have a reading disability or an anhedonic soul.

>>18279993
it's cute

I ain't gonna be able to finna get through these studies yaherr

Didn’t get into law school, pretty much ready to just give up on everything.

>>18280909
I would feel better about it if I were still pretty young but I’m not. I’m old enough to where you really shouldn’t be living with parents and I don’t want to either. It’s like I’m stuck between a rock and hard place here.

Its been already 10 years since i've given up

Was Kierkegaard correct when he argued that romantic love and marriage cannot coexist? I had a dalliance with a girl after she contacted me out of the blue after many years. To this day, I cannot forget how I fell for her the first time I met and when I saw her again, I wasn't disappointed. We really liked each other but when I tried to step outside of my passions and view her in a reasoned fashion, I knew I had to cut it off. Our interest or philosophy to life is very different. Also, as we are approaching mid late twenties, I know any kind of serious relationship will also have marriage inexorably in its horizons. Marriage is a union of not only individuals but families too I think and our religious and cultural differences might be too onerous to overcome. Yet I still yearn desperately for her. Am I a coward to have broken it off? I'd love to enjoy being with her but I feel that I'd be duplicitous to enter a relationship knowing it'd be troubled from the get go.

>>18280444
Noooo :(
What'd ya do

>>18281059
Try not to beat yourself up too much, if there's nothing more you can do about it; you'll just end up worse off than when you started, putting on unnecessary pressure. It still seems financially prudent to save up while living with family, Much better than throwing money away on rent right away, before having a comfortable amount of savings

>>18281251
You can't make it through life without compromise and regret. You regret that you didn't marry her. Had you married you likely would have regretted that too.
Personally I like CS Lewis's take on the subject. The honeymoon phase inevitably ends, but that isn't the truest expression of love. Expect for the romance to cease, but the love to endure

>>18281059
>I would feel better about it if I were still pretty young but I’m not.
I feel like this is a universal experience among our generation and the following one. That young life our parents lived is precluded to us for a variety of factors. No reason to feel loss over something we never had the chance to have.

Bought Stephen Hero the other day and just ordered in a massive fuck off take away.

I really dislike teenagers for some reason. I physically cringe when I walk past them and want to strangle them when they talk about stuff like politics or religion.

>>18281291
I think I might have been thinking too long term and too serious and therefore not "living in the moment". I'm not gonna pretend I did what I did because of some profound moral sympathy for her either. In a way I was too afraid to make my own way through the relationship. But I agree with CS Lewis in sentiment. If I'm serious about her, I'd probably date her long term, marriage will come up but we would never be able to let go of our values to truly love each other in the manner that CS Lewis described. I could date her, enjoy her for myself and dump her for some superfluous reason after a year but that feels almost immoral to me. In the end, who bloody knows.

>>18281302
Yeah, it does seem common under 30 these days but I’ve made it on my own for long. I’m 28 now to be clear. What if I turn 30 and I’m still in the parents house? Besides, it seems like a lot of the people still living at home up to my age never left or left only briefly. I’ve been gone for almost 10 years.

>>18281273
Realistically, I could live on my own. It’s just that I’d have to work a job that I really do not want to work. So it’s not like there’s nothing I can do.

>>18281330
Do what you gotta do man. Social stigma be damned. Who's opinion are you worried about anyway?

>>18281335
>It’s just that I’d have to work a job that I really do not want to work
so you'd be miserable AND save up less money than living with family?
Only you can decide, but it doesn't seem worth the sacrifice to me. That is, unless you don't get along well with the parent, or need more privacy for a relationship

Is it being attractive to the ladies a good reason to act like a nationalist asshole?

>>18281322
You're jealous of their youth

>>18281517
Doing anything to benefit a woman's sensory experience for the mere sake of making her happy is cringe

>>18281538
Different anon. I admire teenagers youth and hold no resentment against them for it. But holy shit they are retarded and I wish they wouldn't express opinions.

>>18281517
Your Honour, that is a loaded question

Holy shit, I just realized. Woman are faggot dudes without penises. Holy fucking macaroni.

>>18280023
ur cringe m8, hate to break it to you

>>18280406
hmm, I like adam. I haven't seen much, maybe I'm missing context, but he seems like a cool dude.
also isn't he a jewish anti-zionist? seems based in my book

I'm looking through the Berserk threads on /a/ after Kentaro Miura, and I've realized something, a lot of the anons int hese threads are talking about what the valuable lessons the manga taught them, how it helped them in life, and other stuff like that, and that got me thinking. In my case, I don't there there has ever been a piece of media that has actually affected and changed me on a personal level, nothing at all, I don't think any media has ever inspired me to make changes in my life, for me it was just entertainment, nothing else.

It makes me feel like... I don't know how to say it, a hollow person? I wonder if other people feel this way too.

>>18281759
Maybe you havent read it

Will I ever stop feeling cringe for myself when I tell people I'm a writer? Or is this the rest of my life. Hating myself but writing to make the ideas stop bugging me.

>>18281759
"I cannot remember the books I've read any more than the meals I have eaten; even so, they have made me.”

Another day, another night, Here we are again
At the crossroads, do I stand or play pretend?
‘T’as been weighing on my mind o’ late
To apologize and keep my job or repeat “tranny, dilate”

>>18281572
Yeah, but this is about making me happy by scoring on more girls.

>>18281759
Maybe you're just not self aware enough

>>18281342
My own I guess. I tend to look down on myself, a lot. But I also have this vague notion of like peers who look down on me and tend to think that’s why I’m lonely. I have sort-of-friends from college who are all very successful and getting married. And then there’s me, a single, miserable, loser ya know?

>>18281442
No, I’d save money living with family obviously because I wouldn’t have living expenses. My relationship with my parents is kind of detached and platonic so it’s neither good nor bad. It just is. I just don’t like living in someone’s home. For example, I don’t have a bedroom in either my mom’s house or my dad’s house (divorced). I have to convert an attic into a bedroom in either case.

>>18281960
I've always been isolated from my peers. Was never socialized as a kid. Had a chance when I was 13/14 but that was ripped from me by circumstances. I'm not sure to what degree my social isolation has informed my sense of individuality but I don't really care much for the opinions of other people. I know on a personal evaluation what my achievments and short comings are.
If your sense of dignity is tied directly to your habitation status then I can see the struggle. But life is full of compromises. Do you feel the financial burden outweighs your personal standard and thus compromise by moving in with your parents, or is your personal standard important enough to spend more on? And how does that relate to your goal of writing? Can you achieve a writing career while living on your own? Or is moving back with ma and pa and acceptable means to an end?
Although now I guess i'm just giving your question back to you. Only you can really decide since it's your particular views you have to wrestle with.

Finished up a coding/desgin project I've been workinh on for the past 3 months and I've lost all interest in it and other work surrounding it as well. I did this all to advance my music career and I doubt it will do anything at to help that in the end. I can't even make music anymore since it all seems to useless in this environment. Anyway Thursday is here and the weekend benders will provide some solace I suppose. Or not.

>>18280381
Nothing major, only relatively small series. I guess CSM and OPM by One would be more known.

I feel down lads, whenever I feel like I've connected with another human being, in fact I have not

in one way I think it is clear and obvious that church and state should be separate at least as things are (if a country should unite in a faith then why not but this is not where we're at (though even in that case I doubt there will ever be good religious leadership to handle the transition)) but the thing that the good liberals of our era don't realize is that a lot of religious ways of life have norms that won't go away and don't really fit in the modern milquetoast world. Even christianity- Paul is crystal clear that women should be subordinated to their men. Now if christians are going to want to live like that, that's going to create a rift with majority society. The only good multiculltural model I've ever heard of is the Islamic method, which is basically good-spirited segregation. But I don't think that's doable in the modern world. There would have been different legal systems at play simultaneously in the various enclaves of a caliphate, but I don't think modern countries can function with different legal systems and jurisdictions in different states. And in a modern economy people aren't static, they have to move to wherever there is work. So say I'm muslim and there is no work in the islamic enclave. I have to leave the enclave. Do I get to keep my laws? I don't think this will work. But still if we're going to have religion and liberalism- true multiculturalism- something like this is necessary, I think.

>>18282292
fuck man that sucks. the alienation is a bastard

>>18280449
You cursed me, witch
I was having a very nice day and all of the sudden it turned to shit

>>18282365
Have a bad day, dickhead >:(

there, now your luck will be better

>>18282321
paul never met jesus, who gives a shit what he thinks.

>>18282292
you're probably doing something a little cringy. a lot of the ppl that are super alienated on places like 4chan just have no taste.

>>18282389
Yes he did. Jesus revealed Himself to Paul personally

>>18282402
>guy gets zapped by a thunderbolt from zues for marauding around greece fucking with ppl
>think it's jesus
ok

>>18282402
>guy gets zapped by a thunderbolt from zeus for marauding around greece fucking with ppl
>thinks it's jesus
ok

>>18282017
Honestly, what I really want to do is quit my job and just take up this sort of pivotal period where I put myself and my life on a different track. I need right now to be a pivot point for me so it doesn’t matter if it’s the ideal situation. It just needs to be somehow altogether different than what I’ve done to this point, like joining the military, going to jail, moving abroad, getting fired, that sort of thing.

>>18282389
>>18282402
paul says in one epistle that he was not married though, that's.. perhaps not a deciding factor, but interesting (though i dont know his whole lifes story). but yeah it would surprise me if any of the evangelists doubted paul

>>18282433
do a masters degree or law school at night, you'll be so busy you wont have time to think about whatever is making you whiney and then when you graduate you can take a job offer a in new city and get the change you want

>>18282454
I don’t think so

>>18276848
Please do. It's difficult work, though.

>>18282365
Oof that's rough anon. Take the day as it is and try again tomorrow. I believe in you.

How bad is weed?

I used to smoke every day before going to bed for the past 5 years (minus this year). Now I'm doing 2 weeks sober and 1 week smoking. What this has showed me is that the things I used to occupy myself with (video games, podcasts) don't hold my attention while sober. Sometimes I feel like I've wasted years numbing myself to escape the boredom I otherwise would have felt. I also wonder if weed makes you more dumb in the long run.

On the other hand I don't have many vices. When I end the 2 week sober period I do look forward to smoking and I don't notice a drop in alertness or sharpness in that period (other than while high of course). Should I allow myself this one vice if I can maintain it at one week a month? I've made steps in my life from getting a decent job to living on my own and getting a gf all while smoking daily. It wasn't a hurdle with achieving those things.

I'm split. I do feel very different while in the sober period and not in a bad way. I just do get bored more often and so far it has not steered me into doing more productive things.

Any advise or own experiences are appreciated.

>>18276830
In my mind I'm Terry Davis screaming "NIGGER CATTLE NIGGER CATTLE NIGGER CATTLE" but outwardly I am a shy and mild mannered slave to the brown man.

>>18282587
I stopped smoking weed and videogames years ago. I wasn't an obsessive type A back then but my goals made me that way. Now I lift daily (Soviet Periodization just like in Rocky IV), eat clean Keto for my brain and read my books (the most painful part).
I'm so productive now even in the worst economy I always have some skill to build on that will give me sure fire returns end of year. I learned to take the least risky and most utility route in these unstable years learning hands on practical skills. It took forever to undo the damage and atrophy of public school and Boomer dependency nagging but I made it brehs. I live in a HOUSE with my own fridge and dishwasher while everyone I went to highschool with is cramming mud babies into slum apartments.
The soul crushing boredom makes me almost cry uncle and grab a joint but I know all this success would go up in smoke if I took that drag. That frustration is the pressure that gets you the house. That tension in boredom gets you to finish the book. Only game I play now is Civ V or any given skill simulator.

>>18282587
4 years ago broke up with my Ex
We smoked weed everyday.
She worked at a retirement home. I had odd jobs. I have had so many jobs since then. Each one better. She's still stuck there smoking weed. I have not had a puff but I got buff. Probably gonna turn into Joe Rogan when I'm rich.

>>18282587
>>18282640
>>18282633

>>18282659
My dad was a Psychiatrist and I had this argument with him daily: I don't want drugs to make me feel better about bad things. I want to do better to defeat the bad things no matter how bad I feel! He was alarmed at the vitality of my exclamation he immediately reached for the phone to call the cops and get me drugged. I said something gay and must have reached for the onions milk to save my ass that day.
Anyways I added some meme implausibility for Anonymity archive sake but I hope my anectdote is your motivating mantra: don't try to feel better do better until you don't have to feel bad. Keep saying it instead of the safe word: drug me.

>>18282587
Kinda in a similar boat. Smoked basically daily for years and years and justified it because I was still managing to be successful in spite of it. Job, large savings account, personal goals met, etc.

Haven’t smoked in about a month or so and noticing a sharper sense of clarity and that same sense of not feeling appealed by zonking out to a screen (podcasts, videos, like ya mentioned).

Kinda funny how similar our experiences line up now that I’m actually typing this out. Only downside for me has been getting anxious/jittery on occasion because I don’t drink either and I’ll just feel hella restless.

That said, I think that sense of boredom/anxiousness has been a net positive because it feels like my body is telling me to go do something and be more productive. And after a month, I’ve definitely noticed that I’m getting so much shit done that the idea of breaking that momentum seems awful.

This is all a long-winded, rambling way of saying maybe extend your break and then see how you feel. Cuz after a month, I’m honestly debating on even going back which is something I never thought I’d say after being a stoner for YEARS

>>18282633
this

This is a 'collage' of many coments on a now deleted thread on conservatism. Before it was completely gone, I was able to get some of it. This is more of a compilation; but I have added some elements of mine. ((You), dear reader, might see a few words of yours)

>Conservatism, as it’s been long discussed, is dead. Though perhaps it doesn’t seem that way, because its corpse is seen ambling about with a caring look on its decomposing face.
I’ll be looking at some of the aspects of its foreseeable demise, since its inception.

>Now, I do not speak of neoconservatism, which was always colonial progressivism, which spoke the conservative dialect, but only as a mechanism to gather more arms for its side. With the rise of Trump, neoconservatives threw off the mask and have rejoined their comrades.
>Let’s instead look at a small slice of applied conservatism. Actually, two such slices, within the social aspect, since they reinforce one another.
>Donald Trump recently appointed Richard Grenell as acting director of national intelligence. He was up until then the Ambassador for Germany. Grenell is open about his preference for sodomy, and, as reported by the NYT, was the one leading figures for the “global push to decriminalize homosexuality.”
>This in itself is neither here nor there, except to show Trump is in the conservative camp, at least partially. Grenell favors sodomy, which, as tradition has it, is a most vile sin that cries out to Heaven for justice.

>Conservativism, therefore, isn’t aligned with tradition.

>Now the second slice, this time from another self-identifying conservative, who has a piece in the Washington Examiner about a celebrity who is touting his child (the celebrity’s child) as a “transgender”.
>A transgender is a person everybody knows is pretending to be or is delusional enough to believe he or she is the opposite sex. To say transgender woman of a person instead of just woman is to acknowledge the truth. If people really believed a transgender woman was a woman, they would not use the prefix.
>This is effeminacy: a characteristic trait of zombie conservatism. Of course, the father should have reacted with hate – hate the sin, hate the loss of sanity in his child, hate the culture that supports the lie. The father should in no way countenance the lie. If the child is truly delusional, then get the child help.

>[As an aside, we can ask: help from whom? Therapists? Recall the “recovered memory” panic of the late 1990s, a panic that led to jailings, loss of families, heartbreak, all because of idiot therapists who entertained the asinine theory that people can “recover” memories. The memories were always of a terrible nature, of course. And it’s now those same therapists driving transexual madness.]

(1/2)

YOU SPEAK TO ME OF DOORKNOBS AND BED FRAMES. I DO NOT CARE FOR SUCH PALTRY TOPICS.

>Internally identified? Skip that, and focus instead on Polumbo’s implict acceptance that older people can be “transgender”, or even can be “gay”, as if these were different kinds of creatures. People are similar to normal human beings, but have a different essence or nature, that difference in being “transgender” or “gay” is just like difference between male and female.

>Polumbo—and Benson too—thus has lost the argument. He is a progressive. He does not disagree with any progressive idea, he only quibbles about timing, about when a person’s madness becomes real.

>That thing that unites Benson and Polumbo, and conservatives in general, is that they have bought the progressive idea that truth can only be known by appealing to the masses.
American “conservative” movement is just liberals who bow before Israel and like Ayn Rand while making hollow overtures to Evangelical petit-bourgeoisie creatures.

>Conservatives have also thoroughly accepted revolutionary ideas such as economic liberalism. Capitalism demands mediocrity so it can exploit everybody the same: A King, or a Lord, has power independently of money. Thus, international Capital has to abolish nobility, which it did, and abolish kingship (at least in the way that he has direct power). Another solution is to make the king part of the Capitalist elite, that's what happened with the English royal family. These people are only king and queen in name. In reality, they are Capitalists – puppets for a usurious elite.
>Capitalism has already chosen: its favorite political State is the republic. I mean, isn't it obvious? Practically all countries in the world have adopted the republican system.
>Again, it's easy why Capitalism has chosen the republic: the republic is perfect for Capitalists to buy laws. A few million dollars in members of parliament pockets, and here you go. You have your law. A Führer, an autocrat, a King, cannot be bought that easily; and that's why Capitalism tends to overthrow those, and replace them by a republic.

>Other concepts that were introduced into the conservative weltanschauung include: freedom of expression, press and religion, and democracy. With this, there was a sense of lost with community and *Oikos* [home]. Conservatism’s last blow was urbanization. People no longer live on farms in such great numbers. It was destined to fail due to industrialization, urbanization, and city planning that could sustain millions of people.

>This crisis, like most of all crises, is spiritual. Conservatives don’t see that. Reactionaries and neo-reactionaries do: that human nature is fixed and not fluid, that human nature cannot be legislated away.
>Conservatives don't really like the consequences of such ideas; nonetheless they are bound to accept modernity at a slower pace than others.

This is why conservativism fails, and will continue to fail. It accepts the same basic premises as progressivism.

>>18282676
I paid the price:
1 oz of PAIN > $900 PILLS

>>18276974
>How do I let go of fear?
Can a lifelong coward be helped?

>>18282224
You're amazing Anon. At your baseline you have abilities I have been scrounging money and free time to nurture but always I'm too short on time and too mentally weighed down by work. Good luck.

>>18282633
You might have a point in that the boredom might lead to being more active. Maybe the 2 week cool off period is too short for that to really show.
And the decent job that I have is a trade job I got while smoking weed on the regular so I was aware even then of the need for practical skills.

>>18282659
Very much agree with Ted here.

>>18282683
I don't drink either, maybe 3 to 5 times a year total. So going off weed would mean that I'm pretty much totally sober which would be wild for someone who has been high more days than not for the past few years.

For me I think ( no proof since I've been smoking weed for so long) that weed has made me more comfortable being alone. I make little effort with bonding with people/making friends since I know that my evenings are guaranteed entertaining for me because I smoke.

When I come at the end for the week of smoking I really look forward to being sober and the same for when the sober 2 weeks end. So I'll try maybe extending the sober period to see what happens.

When's the last time you went outside and hung out with friends? For me it was over two months ago.

I remember during my primary school years: when the class was unruly, and a garbage truck happened to pass by the street outside, teachers used to point out the window. Like a mob of meerkats we'd turn our heads in tandem and gaze outside. The teachers would commence to tell us: "Do you want to be one of those people handling the rubbish of others?" Our countenance would become wrought with despair at these remarks, and for a few minutes we would sit in silent attentiveness to the scraping and snarling sound of chalk on the blackboard.

20 years have passed since then, and I might as well wipe my ass with my college diploma. One thing that I have learnt in the meanwhile is that being a garbage collector is the jewel of the menial labour market; the work is easy, the shift is short and the pay ain't too shabby. Being the realist that I am, I aspire to become a garbageman. Perhaps, one day, I too will be striped of my human dignity by some snobby teacher managing a room full of retarded children. But really, at this point, fuck them.

>>18282806
3 weeks ago but before that it might have been something like 5 months

>>18282772
is that pic calling londoners retards?

>>18282818
The retarded feel at home in London

>>18282810
back then the world was different, making 50k plus healthcare to toss around bags of trash seemed lame when you could go to college and become a guy who wears a suit in an office

This girl I know (my girlfriend) said I was cute. Bros...

>>18282806
Two years ago
Friends is an exclusive term I don't reserve for anyone Ive known since Rona

>>18282810
Based

Moses' noses throwses stoneses at crowses.

>>18282888
whatup Hannibal

>>18282843
Looking back at the phantasmagoria of it all, it really came to an end with the realisation that offices are just big cardboard facades.

>>18282888
>Moses'
this always bothered me
isn't that like an extra syllable

https://youtu.be/WWB01IuMvzA

>>18282908
Yes technically you would say Moseses.

>>18282847
Whoa get'em champ!

>>18276848
God Bless You Mr. Rosewater.

>>18282806
3 years but I’ve done stuff with family and friends of family

>>18282587
I used weed to stop drinking. I'll have a social drink now and then bug nothing like it used to be. I will not smoke on weekdays and save it for weekends if I'm not writing. It does slow cognition over time but not permanently. Once you do a long T-break and let it out od your system you'll be good as new. So I think one week on two off is a good model. I think as far as vices go weed is not as bad as most. As with anything, always in moderation. I've had some great writing ideas while high. I have to revisit them sober as some are stupid as fuck.

>>18276830
I've recently thought about how I want to be the first at something, something grand, but I don't know what, so I just wish I was past people who were first at something great, think of yuri Gagarin, Sargon the great, Etc.

>>18282751
Thank you anon. It's nice knowing one has skills but the wall that is monetizing any one of them is so depleting. Wish you luck with all your work as well.

oh BOY

i wish i were around people my age in real life

>>18282806
3 weeks ago. I keep them at a distance due to autism and low self esteem

>>18281272
Nothing that makes me look good, that's for sure. She was younger, devotedly in love with me, I guess I strung her along and then dumped her when she became inconvenient. I miss her tits though and the sex was the best sex I've had with anyone.

>>18276830
There's a river near by. I like to wade out into the river stand there. In the distance is a mountains of red rocks. All along the banks of the river are pale green trees. Snapping turtle and trout live in the river. The sun is low, the sky is lit up by the cloudy soft diffused light half an hour before night. I'm about 20 feet from shore. The river bed is rocky and cold. I can feel water rushing past on my naked feet. I have done this so many times. Just to feel the heat of the day melt away. The river cares away my fears and worries. I don't know why I ever leave it. What do I have to live for? A wife that didn't live me but married me anyway so she wouldn't be alone. She drinks to try and forget that fact, then she hits me to try and make me mad, but I don't hit back. She can hardly live with her shame. This next time in going into the river, and I am not coming out. A son even more amazingly autistic than I am. Who will be tortured even more cruelly for it than I was. I told her we shouldn't have a kid. It won't come out right but it was our honeymoon and even then I instinctively knew that she was just using me to get her dreams, including a child. May as well full my biological role even if I am cast aside and devoured like some other parts of the animal kingdom. There's an airport 10 miles away and small planes will pass over the river at sunset. I imagine that looks cool. The water is not too cold, it's heated up since it left the mountains. It's not a warm bath, not by a damn sight. It's just on the edge of cool and crisp. All kinds of insects buzz and hum as the sun sets. Birds are settling into their trees and making a holy chorus. My parents won't understand. I never lived up to my promise. But then they could tell pretty early on that I wouldn't. Still, I tried my hardest even if they never saw it or believed. They could have been proud of me or at least pretended to. My Brother, I wish I could hang out with him again. Like it was long ago. We played video games and I let him win. I would give him the bigger half if anything we shared. I think he figured that out eventually. Do I let everyone else down by dying, or do I let myself down worse by living this life?

I can't decide if I'm at a crossroads in my life, or if I've just hit the end. For the last 4 years I've done all the right things, I finished school, became independent, had girlfriends and one-night stands, completed my military service, got a job, and yet nothing has changed. I go through the movements, but for what? It's not making me any happier, in fact I find myself daydreaming about my old lifestyle, though I know I wasn't happy back then either. Inside I feel completely indifferent, just as I always have.
I'm still the black sheep in the family, turns out my success in life had nothing to do with how they feel about me. Even my friends have started to avoid me, I guess we don't have that much in common any more.
Do I stay on my current path; study some more, get a better job, find a wife and drink myself to an early grave, or do I naively look for my true passions, maybe start a band and hope that's any different. Maybe I'll go back in the army, at least there I felt like I had purpose.
I refuse to kill myself. On the off chance that there is a God, I want to see this thing through before I make my judgement on him.

>>18282806
September 2015

>>18283818
No harm in starting a band

>>18282806
About 15 years ago.

>>18283818
May as well try somethingdifferent. Why not?

>>18277020
The reason you use your phone so much is it does to much at the same time. Therefore, you associate doing something with using your phone and so when you're bored you turn to it. Solving this problem is as simple as understanding the common capabilities of your phone and seperating it.
Want to communicate? just buy a cheap 20$ phone and call people more, write letters and use web message software like discord on your computer. You'll see that you don't need your phone to communicate online.
Want to listen to music? just buy a cheap mp3 music player.
Want to be entertained? just buy something that entertains you but that you can't carry, like an tablet or just use your computer. Or just read when you're bored.
So on and so forth, soon you'll be wondering why you thought you needed a phone to do those things, when you can not only do it with substitute, but do it better.

>>18277020
get an apple watch then any important notifications will come directly to your wrist so you won't feel like you're going to miss something important. my apple watch displays imessages and wsj notifications. that's it, but that's all i'd check my phone for. also i deleted the news app off my phone. wsj has the shit i want, i don't need to see whatever is trending in the atlantic or whatever.

>>18278659
>But making new friends in a new city
How does one do this?

>>18284205
join an mma gym, rolling around trying to choke a mf can be a good ice breaker, also get a part time social job on the weekend. there are a lot of part time jobs that don't pay shit, but let you hang out with a crew.

>>18277020
kys first.

>>18284214
>also get a part time social job on the weekend
What kind? Restaurants? Loading boxes? You gotta spoonfeed me, I'm retarded.
>join an mma gym, rolling around trying to choke a mf can be a good ice breaker
I took a couple of classes ages ago, but Muay Thai, not BJJ. Fun as hell.

Any other depressed people have this feeling when they go out in public like you’re a fraud if you’re talking or god forbid laughing. I actually feel this shame like I have to be visibly miserable if I feel miserable inside.

>>18284242
That's incredibly retarded anon

>>18284242
I'm just tired of pretending i'm not miserable. I want to meet people and be the biggest ass hole

>>18284279
Yeah, I know.

>>18284338
Is it really pretending? I’m miserable but I’m still capable of laughing at a joke.

>Want to write a tower climber book, 10 floors to the top
>target 70k words, quick paced action piece
>Figure that's about 25 chapters depending on average length
>The quickest I can cover one of the floors is one chapter
>This leaves 15 chapters for character interactions outside of the tower

I'm going to have to get really good at writing action quickly.

>>18284242
Not depressed but I hear this pretty frequently as a symptom

I’m so fucking fat. I’ve always been so fucking fat. I probably always will be so fucking fat.

Why have not killed myself?

>>18284439
try death by starvation

>>18277474
Arabs, niggers, and islam.

I can't seem to keep the contents and details of words and conversations in mind to form real conclusions or opinions on things, and just a general lack of ability to absorb and digest information from the premises around me. It makes me feel like a rudimentary machine of muscles and bones, a dull mind just acute enough to coordinate muscles but forever submerged in my own head never able to touch this elusive realm of the outside world and all of the things happening in it.

This goes for the world in general as well, I guess, but back to people. It's like there's an invisible wall between me and other people. It makes it hard to empathize with them clearly, predict them, reason with them. It's worst when at a bigger social gathering, it all gets really foggy. That's what people feel like to me, foggy. I can *see* and *hear* them talking to each other, but I just can't tap into it. And then the I forget all the things they've just said, and even if I remember some of it, it all feels like an overly complex equation to work out. Why is it so hard? I just seem like a dull and comatose person to other people in my experience. I wish I knew what was wrong. I don't want to be like this. I want to be smart enough for things bigger than perfunctory minimum wage existence. I'm even shut off from other comatose people like me.

Weird how technology has replaced social life and no one seems to care. I remember when people used to just casually hang out and talk to each other, things like going over to a friend's house uninvited wasn't a big deal. Now it's pretty hard to get people to meet at all, and when they do they're just staring at their phones.

>>18284456
Death is death either way. Unironically is doesn’t matter if I get think before I die or at the moment of my death. I’ll have loose skin and look like shit. I can’t win no matter what I do. There aren’t even any good writers who were fat. That’s the thing about it. Now that I’ve been fat, it’s unironically already over and nothing can be done besides an hero and hope to reincarnate and not fuck it up this time.

>>18284519
You need to practice socializing.
They're called 'social skills' for a reason. Big gatherings are a blur because there is too much happening, and you can't compute it all. If you want to fix it, spend as much time with other people as you can. And avoid unnatural simulated socializing like 4chan or other social media, because it teaches you different kinds of social skills that you don't need right now.

>>18284608
i saw a dude shuffling down the sidewalk early tonight like woah whats wrong with that dude, then as he got closer i realized it was a formerly morbidly obese dude now only regularly obese trying to run with a giant flap of flesh flapping side to side under his shirt, i sort of smiled cuz it looked kinda fucked up, but at the same i was thinking hell ya bro that's the way

you guys wouldnt have a pdf of matt taibbi's secret business of drug dealing for a poor 3rd worlder to share would ya ?

>>18284670
Except it’s not. You know under that shirt he looks disgusting. So what’s the point? Maybe he is satisfied clinging to his otherwise disgusting life but I’m not. It’s the worst possible thing you can do because you can never actually fix it or pretend it never happened.

>>18284711
People would see dedication, which is widely respected

>>18284711
i feel soo bad for fat ppl, no matter what kind of self-destructive dumb shit i have done in life, something kicks in before i gain wait, being overweight just doesn't fit myself concept. it's weird how stuff like that works. meanwhile there are probably fat bankers who think i'm lame for shitposting the night away instead of minmaxing stocks on a spreadsheet all night

>>18284720
But what would I see? Not that.

>>18284733
That is a self defeating attitude. A lot of previously fat men exude confidence. What’s better about staying fat?

>>18284754
>What’s better about staying fat?
Nothing but I’m failing to see what’s better about the alternative I’ve presented. That’s my point. It seems to me a lose-lose with no way out.

I want to go back to school, but the two professors I studied under during undergrad think I should look into other programs and not the department I graduated from. I've looked into them and they're all more than I can afford, don't exactly align with my research interests, and will distance me from my family and few friends. The graduate program at the school I went to is still really good; but I'm afraid these professors won't go to bat for me if I apply there.
Also, if I do go back, this woman that I'm interested in will have graduated and moved on, and if she is still there, she'll probably be too deep into her thesis to even consider even socializing, let alone a potential relationship. I've always felt this strong connection with her and don't want for that to come to naught.
I'm realizing just how much this will change my life one way or the other and I'm not sure how I feel about it. I'm sliding into my mid-20s and feel like I've gotten nowhere and not sure I'm going anywhere at all, even with plans like these.

>>18284768
Are these the concerns normal people have?

>>18284794
I don't know.

They're doing work on the highway so I've been having to cut through the city downtown to get home from work. I keep seeing women my age walking down sidewalks and I realized that I haven't been around opposite sex peers for nearly two years and they've become strangers and a totally unknown part of life.

>>18284827
I'm on six years

>>18282806
Tonight, we had a sand volleyball match, we lost. Aside from that, last weekend I guess. Or last night, but that was another sports event we coordinated. I think that counts.

>>18284968
What compels a normalfriend like you to post here?

>>18284977
You don't have to romanticize your depression to enjoy books.

>>18285033
I always had this view that normal people didn't hang out in chat rooms and message boards. Maybe my viewpoint is stuck 15 years ago

>>18284757
I guarantee you would feel better about your self if you get in shape. It can’t be worse than being fat

>>18284768
Based on the going to "bat for you" I take it these professors are writing your recommendation letters, no? I'm assuming this is a Master's program using a manual upload system where the same LOR has to be uploaded to each school, at least that's how most over in the US of A are. You can apply to multiple schools including yours and they'll assume you took their advice but still applied here as a safety. In fact you should explicitly tell them that. Best option would be to explain why you still want to apply here but you probably don't want to hurt their ego if they're writing your LORs.
But for the love of god why would a woman play any role in your decision?? Men are slaves to pussy in ways that keep surprising me.

>>18284757
>>18285068
>I guarantee you would feel better about your self if you get in shape
This 100% anon. I am fat and so far I've lost 40 lbs. I feel the best I've felt in 2 decades. I am able to wear old clothes. And I went and bought new smaller pants this last weekend that felt awesome.

>>18284519
What's the test for?

>>18285230
congrats

>>18282520
>>18276728
Hope this gets to the Danish new anon from the thread that just got nuked.

I'm not an anon from the last thread, but I have a bit of advice. The other anons are recommending great books, but nevertheless if you haven't really dealt with hard prose they may be difficult. Here's a set of books that are sort of "intro literature"--serious classics that are slightly more digestible. You've probably read some of these (they tend to get taught in high school), but it might be good to knock a more few off--they're not very long, they're good, and (especially at the top of the list) they're culturally important.
>Great Gadsby
>To Kill a Mockingbird
>Catcher in the Rye
>Mice and Men /& Grapes of Wrath /& the Pearl
>Lord of the Flies
>Huck Finn /& Tom Sawyer
>Fahrenheit 451 /& Martian Chronicles
>Animal Farm (also by Orwell)
>Pride and Prejudice (a good transition book out of this category; simple but engaging plot w/ medium difficulty prose)
>Picture of Dorian Grey (another good transition book. It's a classic, people like it, I can't stand it)

All this is of course assuming you want to read the cannon in terms of novels/literature. If you want history or philosophy or some more specific thing it's a different conversation.

Can someone link me the proper translation for Notes From The Underground on Kindle.

I am transcribing a focus group I held for work. Participants were 7 women. I only realise watching the tape back that 4 of them were flirting with me/going full giggly schoolgirl.

>Really need to read Stirner to build my ego and self-confidence back up
>literally nowhere in the city sells him
Fuck

>>18284977
Yeah I enjoy talking about books and none of my friends really do, want to talk about them somewhere. Also these threads are nice to read and rant in.

4chan interests boards are really nice, most of the time they’re useless but sometimes they have some really good information and discussion, better then anywhere else I can find. Ex chart threads here on /lit/ are fantastic, I love looking through them and can’t really find that content anywhere else.

>>18285418
Thank you!