/lit/ - Literature

Yusss! I got published again! Great publication. I've been F5ing the TAR site for a while now so I read it before you made the thread, lots of quality stuff.

I support the extension of the publishing ban to a lifelong sentence. That essay was poorly written and an embarrassment to a mag that barely even rises to mediocrity.

Uhh...link?

Fuck yeah TAR!

The OFFICIALLY UNOFFICIAL PUBLICATION OF /lit/.

I don't even remember the other guy who was trying to do this.

>>1821328

http://www.theaprilreader.com

>>1821334
If you're the editor that made this issue readable, I give you thanks.

>>1821334
.org retard

I have translated the spoiler'ed text.

I was not able to publish a sequel to my "highly lauded" essay "WAAZ, etc." because, at the time of this writing, I have been banned from publishing essays in my own publication. Please forgive me and let me have another chance to publish in my own publication.

Would you say this is accurate?
Also, you can still publish, just not as Wildweasal. So tragic.

The majority of the poetry I considered to be horrendous - not because it was written poorly or whatever - but because it contained absolutely no substance. The one about the window contained perhaps 10 words, and I feel cannot be seriously presumed to convey any sentient ideas. The short stories are improving, but still not to a standard where I enjoy reading them; although this may have something to do with the number of contributors. I'll have to see if I can rustle up something for next month.

>>1821334
Sir, I would like to begin by saying: thank you for making this so much better. Quick question though, how much editing experience do you have? Not a criticism, just wondering.

bologna

Upon a very small inspection - why is Wildweasal still credited as an EDITOR if he is banned from contributing?

>>1821340
This is not my publication anymore than it is your publication. I simply run the website.

Also, is that a vote for removing the ban?

Why were you banned anyway?

Dog world, I am a Dog is tops.

>>1821349
>22:30 posted
>22:44 response
Christ you read fast. On the plus side, we have received a slightly higher count of submissions this time. I am optimistic that TAR is becoming progressively get better and better as time progresses

Also, in case there is any confusion: Our webpage: www.theaprilreader.org

In regards to the wildweasal thing: it is a mystery

Thanks for your support folks

>>1821370
You publish on the first.
I dl'ed it before you posted about it here on /lit/
May have had a headstart.

>>1821375
No, I just read really fast.

Do you accept criticism of the works published for publication?

>>1821370
It's a pretty short issue. I'm sure that guy scanned over most of the shorts. I did, cause they mostly sucked.

Malavox's was okay, but the stylized dialogue got cheesy and it didn't really have a point.

The Dog one was was the best written piece. It also seemed complete. I'd encourage more published work of this quality.

The rest didn't interest me enough to read them all the way through. I might later.

The first story falls into the last category, but it was notable in that it was well-written.

The poetry shouldn't have even been published.

>>1821375
haha, I suspected it being something like that. Kudos friend

Should anyone wish to submit content for issue 4, our email is theaprilreader@gmail.com. minimum requirement of 400 words for fiction/essays, 4 for poetry. cutoff for submissions being accepted is the 14th of every month.

>>1821386
that'd be pretty fucking pomo

>>1821389

>Malavox's was okay, but the stylized dialogue got cheesy and it didn't really have a point.

Many thanks for the feedback! Thanks for reading!

>>1821395

My plan is to publish a piece of criticism, and then have someone publish a critique of my criticism, and so on. Creating an endless loop of pomo circlejerking.

>>1821370
>read fast
read is a verb.
fast is an adjective.
adjectives do not modify verbs.

>on the plus side
This is a superfluous phrase. The phrase is usually used in comparison to something negative.There is nothing negative in your post.

>have received
Is "have" really necessary?

>is becoming progressively get better and better as time progresses
Drop "becoming". "get better". Oh dear. "as time progresses". Redundant , as you already used "progressively"."

>In regards to the
Replace with "regarding the".

>thanks for your support folks
Needs a comma or omit the "folks"

I hope you aren't an editor.

>>1821409

>>1821349

Absolutely, please submit your work.

>>1821351

I worked on my college's history journal for a year. The editing process for our journal was very structured, but our deadlines were a lot longer too. I tried to bring some of that to TAR's editing and selection process. But of course editing a social science paper is different from editing someone's artistic expression. I know I sent back several pieces with things for the author to modify before accepting the piece for publication. So any of you future submitters, expect to get your work back with things I think you should change before TAR publishes it.

So, publishing criticism? Yes or no.

>>1821409
>>1821409
>posts on 4chan are srs business hurr durr

>>1821422
This guy. Love the enthusiasm.

So does the TAR team have a large backlog of submitted and accepted works on their hands, or is it a matter of there being a lack of submissions left to choose from?

I ask, because 6 pieces of short fiction seems pretty sparse.

I'm secretly complaining that my submission didn't make its way into this issue.

I'm also really digging the "printable version" format - it works very well with a computer monitor, and it does a good job on saving both papers and (somewhat less important) disk space. The fact that TAR is MUCH more minimalist than ZWG is also a huge improvement.

I'll read through the submissions tomorrow. If this thread isn't alive by then (which would shock me), I'll probably just make a new one.

>>1821386
After consultation with the other editors, TAR has agreed to permit criticism of other work being published. However, we do hold the right to refuse any content we deem of poor quality or otherwise awful

>>1821431
That sounds like a great addition.

>>1821431

Ah, great.

I intend it to be honest critique. I wasn't trying to be very silly.

>>1821429
post it here then. I'll tell you why it didn't get published.

>>1821438
I'm trying to be silly

Off to bed. Hope you guys enjoy. Any feedback on my story is seriously appreciated.

>>1821423
>retared
Oh bb, you so silly.
pic is related, it's brownbear.

>>1821445
ew

>>1821422
see
>>1821431
>the answer is "yes"

>>1821429
> thrillhouse's piece
>not printed
oh goddammit. That is not a rejection, rather it is an error as a result of us failing to label your work as part of issue 3 in addition to being a part of 2 work. My sincerest apologies, with your permission we will publish your other work in issue 4

Deodorant,
elefountain in a youthful room,
prepubescent stink,
stank,
swag.

-Anonymous

>>1821448
Oh, you misunderstood my misunderstanding!

I knew you had approved both of my submissions
(you wouldn't be alive right now if you didn't)
but I just figured you had too many or too few submissions to choose from, so mine got bumped out through some manner.

Anyway, with that clarified, you are welcome to insert my piece into Issue 4.

On another topic: were my editing contributions adequate? Would you mind sending me more stuff to edit for the next installment?

>>1821467
Completely, we are always happy to have people involved in the TAR project. Assuming you are still willing to help out, we will continue to send you material for issue 4 as well

Once again, I will put out the question to the rest of /lit/: Would you /lit/izens be willing to read a story of heroic fantasy/sword-and-sorcery by an amateur writer? It wouldn't be a Conan rip-off, although I would intend for the main character to be recurring.

yo reading this bitch atm -- will post notes as i go along

author of "you're a woman i'm a machine":

- "kiss your family if they run closed casket funerals" is an excellent line, shit is mad poignant but still manages to be understated

- "everyone here's fat and they'll die of cardiac arrest" really caught my attention too, sorta captures the narrator's indifference toward everything but the deceased borne of grief, pretty cool, dude

- find a way to explain unfamiliar terms - "karanga," "marae," "harae mae," "boil ups" - like, not necessarily parenthetical translations, but i think if you can convey the meanings of these better the story will be way richer

- use less "fuck"s - there's a shit-ton and it loses emphasis by the end

banpu

>>1821544

ASK:

- i like that the police dudes wear riot gear to a vagrancy call, and that apparently a major part of their duty is keeping property values up

- "authoritative hiss" is a great turn of phrase

- "alcohol bottle" could just as easily be "bottle" since you've already established it's malt liquor

- this is prob personal preference but i think the title tips your hand too much - if the reader already knows it's the future it's less of an interesting surprise when their cruiser turns out to be some sort of hovercraft and so forth

>>1821584

Malavox:

- the idea of the best buy gift card triggering the dude's feelings of guilt is really cool

- read some david mamet since i'm seeing some similarities in style of dialogue

- the story begins by describing the cop paul mccray as a local legend but he doesn't end up being the focus - is there a way you can reframe it around gift card dude?

- maybe stick scare quotes around "vertically challenged" since i doubt your narrator would use the phrase sincerely

>>1821608

Nurse:

- the dog-narrator's preoccupation with sense of smell is good - maybe even try to incorporate it in the episodes where it isn't already?

- the uncertainty in paragraphs 2 and 5 is, um, interesting

- maybe rephrase "fuck your couch" since it's already associated with that dave chappelle sketch and i don't know if that's purposeful or not

I suddenly feel pressure to write some terrible poetry and submit it as a joke/to see if it'll be published for it's sheer ridiculousness.
Not as a mockery of the publication or anything. Just for fun.

Idea: a "So Bad It's Hilarious" section or something similar.

fucken maoris
gtfo /lit/
whiney negroes

>>1821618

k rest in the morning i f possible

>>1821621
Ehh, only if THOSE are automatically anonymous. We don't wanna embarrass anyone, I hope.

>>1821653
The original idea for this was to make a section on the TAR website that has submissions that didn't make it into the monthly issues.

This, of course, could also be a section of the monthly issues if people think it is a good idea.

The last option, that I can think of, is to publish these stories on a completely different website. I currently have an unused domain name that I am going to be developing this summer. I have not decided how to use it yet, but I would like it to be something literature related (like hosting user-created poems/stories/novels/etc.) Perhaps this could be a good place for these works.

>>1821349
this sounds accurate.

sadly it sounds accurate of all poetry lately

Good work so far. Could use improvement on content. I hope to submit something soon.

>>1821629

Racist cunt detected.

More importantly, reading this publication, why in the fuck does every single short story contain so many unnecessary expletives? I'm no prude - there's a time and place for swearing- but you edgy fucks come across so tacky. The only story that didn't fall victim to this was the boring existentialesque wank fest that put me to sleep.

I'm going to read the poetry now, in search of redemption.

>>1822135

Well that was fucking depressing.
Those poems were fucking awful.

Even so, I think that the existence of this publication shows good initiative which should be promoted, though maybe I'd drop "The April Reader hopes to serve as a launching point for the future writers of this generation." and "we have the harshest critics" for now. The current standard of the content means that these assertions are embarrassing. I'd hate to see the work that got rejected.

Parenthetically I should note to whoever edits this that there are still obvious spelling mistakes and grammatical errors.

But in the spirit of 'put up or shut up' I'll stop being a critical asshole for now. I'll submit some stuff for the next one, and I encourage anyone else with similar complaints about the standard of work to do the same.

>people actually liking Dog World more than Paul

>>1822135
This

>>1822149
>I'll submit some stuff for the next one

Give us a preview, i'm optimisitc.

>>1822149
>I'd drop "The April Reader hopes to serve as a launching point for the future writers of this generation." and "we have the harshest critics" for now
lol, point taken. The reason why this former passage is found on the website is because it is part of the "Mission" section of the website.

Stating that something is the goal is not the same as stating that something is the reality today.

With that being said, however, I understand your point of view and I agree that perhaps it is important to stick to more practical ambitions for now.

If a more appropriate mission statement can be agreed upon I would be delightfully pleased.

>>1822153
:'(

So... anyone read the epub or mobi versions and have comments to make?

>>1822164
The working title is 'Schizophrenia' although it will almost certainly not be titled that when finished.

>>1822135
>More importantly, reading this publication, why in the fuck does every single short story contain so many unnecessary expletives?
>why in the fuck
>you edgy fucks
>Racist cunt
dun dun dun

>>1822135
"Paul" had a lot of expletives simply because thats the way the narrator spoke. When writing it, I was hoping it would convey a kind of "two guys at a bar" kind of mood. If that makes any sense.

I don't think I've ever seen someone post a poem on this forum that was actually liked, even a tiny bit. Poems are too easy to hate, and it's too easy to eviscerate them and sound knowledgeable. I actually thought "Open window" was good.

I havne't read it but I just wanted to give you a thumbs up for making it look not shit, like the first issue.

Wow. Was Seventh Month intentionally bad or what? Why would someone write that? That was pointlessly indulgent garbage.

Tier list of what's worth reading anyone?

>>1823216
this

>The April Reader, named as such because we have the harshest critics
Shouldn't that be cruellest critics?

>>1823292

Avoid alliteration. Always.

>>1823295
Super suggestion sport!

/lit/ - philistines in a handful of dust

>>1823184
yeah it was pretty bad but some parts had potential I think especially the girls but it was really wordy and tryhard. I think he just needs to work on his self indulgence, and learn to understand when words just become words.

Our publication is called TAR, because everyone who is included is tarred and feathered by the general 4chan populace.

TAR, for the example of Virginia Woof, did you verify that it was the tripfag Virginia Woof and not as just posted Virginia Woof2.

Could I submit some homoerotic literature as Fabulous and you not check?

How something deep&edgy as deep&edgy?

>>1823343
No I'm pretty sure it was written by THE Virginia W00F. I didn't write it, but I guess it could have been someone else making fun of him/impersonating him.

>>1821389
yeah I agree the dog one was tops. by far the least pretentious.

My favourite pieces were Haiku # 11, I couldn't agree more, Mirror, The Sevenths Month and Future Sunset.

>>1821532
I'd be happy to read this if it was well written.

banpu

>>1822695

>'there's a time an a place for swearing.'
>4chan is one of those places
>Parodying you asshats is one of those times.

>>1823048
I know what you were going for, but is sounded forced and contrived.

>>1823615
sounded like a guy at a party talking to his friend to me.

>>1823615
>>1822149
>>1822135
Your bluster and cynicism are not as impressive as you seem to think they are. You want to hold the world before you as you render your judgement? That's cowardly. Learn some grace and tact, friend.

I liked Future Sunset quite a bit.

>>1823628

>Harshest critics
>Harsh criticism elicits bawwing.

laughingbitchtits.flac

Cowardice doesn't even enter into it.

>>1823633
If you're going to be harsh in such a contrived and obvious way, at least provide criticism with depth. The criticisms you've given so far have been completely superficial; to the point of meaninglessness. So have all of them.

>>1823664

I find your criticism of his criticism quite pedantic.

>>1823672
It's not pedantic. I'm saying, being harsh without providing real criticism is just being harsh. It's clearly motivated by the desire to just be harsh.

>mfw almost all of this thread has been pointless bickering and not criticism

>>1823766
And some criticism on the concept of criticism.

Some serious criticism coming in the next few hours. Provided by me. Prepare your anuses.

>>1824248

clenched and ready to go.

Yes I have made blanket statements without any sort of support that might be constructive. I have not done so merely to be 'critical' or 'harsh', It's just my unsupported opinion that most of this shit is garbage. If I can be fucked, I might offer some substantive criticism of certain works once I am no longer rolling drunk (as I currently happen to be - I bet you fucks wish you could be as literate when you're seeing two of everything!).

I agree with dork-king of /mu/ (who hasn't even the slightest idea of what being a true king is like), the cursing is very off putting. I curse in my daily life but I don't want to read it in books.

>>1824343
>>1824343
do you resent the fact that you never had a mother?

Yeah, the excessive cursing in the stories is as tasteless as telling people in an online forum that you're drunk.

>>1824343
Oh Stagolee/Quentin/Popplagio, you so silly.

>King of Darkspear
Apparently Darkspear is a tribe of trolls in WoW.
Thus, you are saying you are the king of trolls.

How amazing, except not at all.

>>1824248
Prepared.

>>1822149

>I'll submit some stuff for the next one

I actually kind of look forward to this - finiish that one about hipsters who want to be artists and take power line pictures and shoop them.

I'm sorry, but the poemn about the witches reads like it was written by a 12 year old with ADD. It's not really a poem in any meaningful sense of the word - there's no structure, no over-arching rhythm, no metrical interest - it's effectively just prose with line breaks in the wrong place, and the idea contained in that prose are not very interesting, and self-consciously goffik.

2/10 for at least trying, but try harder. Hint - if a poem takes the same amount of time to write as it does to read, then you're doing it wrong.

bump

Virginia WOOF's text's so, so, so bad it hurts.

>>1825573
Yeah well, that's life kid.

Just a friendly reminder that any publication like this is completely dependent on submissions from people like you.

If you have never written anything in your life, or perhaps rather you are an avid writer and have been ever since you got out of diapers it doesn't matter and I believe the TAR folks would love to publish the stuff you have created so that it can be read by all of us here.

I on my end as an interested party who agrees with the 'mission' of TAR promise to do my part and try to provide constructive criticism to works submitted.

>>1824660
I'm a Tauren who plays on the Darkspear and that's that

>>1826048
>the Darkspear
the Darkspear server*

My character is named Popplagio I have my own guild we are level 17.

>>1826051
Please contribute some WoW inspired literature involving your character, Popplagio, and his adventures in the realm of Darkspear to the next issue please!

>>1826048
Very cool. I'm Forsaken on the Mok'Nathal server. Level 40. What class? Tauren are bro as fuck.

I'm on the nub server because I don't like to play with others, really, so I prefer a low population.

>>1826051
Oh dear
http://us.battle.net/wow/en/forum/topic/1305772279

>>1826048
ffffffffffffaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagg

>>1826624

loving the poetry in this

>>1827542
What poems did you like?

is there a deadline for submitting to possibly get into the next one?

>>1826626

Why does seeing her lick jitler off a bog make my gentleman go all hard?

>>1828795
Yes. It's the 14th.
Any info you need can be found on
theaprilreader.org

as it says in the OP

TAR backwards is RAT.
Think about that for a moment.

I FUKKIN LOVE RODENTS

Fuck yes. I actually came to this site because my friend told me about this project and I finally found it.
I am planning on submitting an essay, a poem, and a short story.
Going to read this shit now. I honestly have no idea what to expect.

Nurse's short story Dog World, I am a Dog is amazing. Best i've seen in a TAR so far.

The rest didn't keep my interest, but none of it stood out as obnoxiously bad.

No weirdo essays from the editors! Good!

Poetry was a huge pile of shit. Drop poetry the instant you get more short stories and don't need that filler anymore.

Great to see that you started with a good piece this time. Sorting stories alphabetically was a retarded idea and you should drop the faggot that brought it up.

The dog story was a great read. I cracked up every time the dog said "I fucked you couch."

Paul was shit, IMO. No moral or point to the story and it was told in a retarded manner. Snippets of dialogue? Go fuck yourself.

The sci-fi one was too short. The idea of police only being there to keep up the property prices was pretty cool, but the rest was meh.

>>1821409
>read is a verb.
>fast is an adjective.
>adjectives do not modify verbs.

fast can be an adverb fuckwit

I'm writing a story for the next issue, maybe the one after that.
It's gonna be called "The Art of Ejaculation Throughout the Ages: A Brief Insight in Praying Through Your Knees".

>>1830018
>>1830018
so you can't read fast?

>>1830038
hee-haw, how funny... /end sarcasm

what kind of essay would /lit/ like to read for the next one?
essays are my thing but i don't want to bore everyone to death.

>>1830507
Really depends on what essays you have available, can't say I have any preferences at the moment

>>1830562
i'm thinking of writing an essay about Gravity's Rainbow. it would not be written in an academic style, but also not strictly book review type of writing. perha s somewhere in between and more casual than formal but still thoughtful.

if there are any novels/novellas/novelettes that people would like to an essay about instead please let me know.

>>1831880
I'd love to hear somebody's interpretation of Byron the Bulb. That was the one part of the novel that I found completely undecipherable.

>>1831880
It'd have to be pretty good to be worth putting in. GR is way too old of a book. Got a thesis?

some guy called Harold Bloom wrote a little about it. maybe he has a good ideas

>>1831895
>bloom
>good ideas

>>1831890
i'm confused about the part where you said "way too old of a book." care to explain?

>>1831908
There are already numerous essays on that book, it would be a helluva feat to cover uncharted territory there.

sigh. /lit/, why am I frightened of submitting to this?

>What if I'm totally mediocre?!

>>1831949

they published inflation fetish fiction

>>1831956
:3

you just cheered me up, anon

>>1831963
You'll probably get rejected anyways though, cause of your weird smiley thing.

>no redgate chapter 2
OUR GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD

I may or may not have submitted something and it may or not have been accepted.

I may or may not have submitted over 9,000 stories from over 9,000 e-mails.

Here's to hoping my submission is included.
I'll send it in today or tomorrow.
If it isn't, I'll probably leave /lit/ forever because I'm really sensitive to rejection.

>>1830507 BARTHES ... or something about serial killers

That one about the futuristic police was short, but had a nice contrast. Kind of makes you wonder whether it was really science-fiction at all