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/lit/ - Literature

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18258756 No.18258756[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

For all these books get talked about, I've seen very little genuine discussion on them. So I decided to give Call of the Arcade a try.

TL;DR: The first half reads like an extremely poorly written Goosebumps rip-off. The second half however, is where things get so comically bad that it felt like a literary version of The Room. My suspicion is that when F. Gardner wrote this, he realized the story was only 50 pages and not long enough to be marketed as a novel. So he decided to double down on the garbage he already shat out, and the result was something truly bizarre.

>It's a local holiday (on account of a building being burned down several years ago), and our main characters consequently have a day off.
>They decide to go to an arcade because one of the boys heard a rumor that a copy of Polybius from urban legends might be there.
>Get greeted by a security guard at the entrance of the arcade. Asks them if they saw anybody suspicious.
>They proceed to run into a man named Sam. Who is also looking for Polybius (and totally not suspicious at all).
>Get flashback chapters periodically. They are literally titled “Flashback”, “Second Flashback”, “Third Flashback”, etc
>Flashback chapters are about some kid whose brother committed suicide after playing Polybius
>Parents and teachers get concerned that the brother's suicide is taking a bad toll on the kid's mental health
>The kid is indeed bothered by his brother's suicide. But (plot twist!), the kid doesn't miss his brother but actually resents him because he envies his brother for getting to play Polybius, and for not sharing the experience with him.
>Inspired by what his brother told him about Polybius, the kid draws a picture so disturbing that it literally causes everyone who looks at it to immediacy commit suicide.
>Our two main characters (Jonny and Mark) travel deeper into the arcade building and get lost, and eventually are separated.
>Mark continues to wander and eventually runs into Sam again, who leads him to Polybius. Sam has purchased Polybius from the darknet, and meets with a man named Bob who sells it to him.
>Sam is (plot twist again!) revealed to be the boy in the flashback chapters. He also reveals his plan to livestream the contents of Polybius to trap everyone who watches it in an eternal hell.
>Sam leaves and Mark chases after him. In his chase he runs into his friend Jonny again. They also inform security that Sam is the creepy guy they were looking for.
>Security attempt to capture Sam, but he swallows a pill which temporarily turns him into the Hulk.
>The power runs out, and he ends up getting captured
>The guy who sold Polybius to Sam (plot twist), was actually law enforcement. He rewards the boys for helping him capture Sam.
>The boys ask to get exclusive access to a mental asylum to visits their friend Pete. Who was responsible for burning down the building mentioned at the beginning of the story.
>The End... or so it should have been. It's actually only the halfway point

>> No.18258760
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18258760

>>18258756
Some people have criticized F. Gardner for writing like an edgy ESL twelve year old. You should probably be the judge of that yourself. pic-completely-related.

I would note how the writing itself is terribly constructed. With grammatical errors on nearly every page, and the most odd comma placement I have ever seen. But to focus on these technical errors distracts from how fundamentally flawed this novel actually is. Even with the world's most accomplished Grammarian, no amount of technical edits could ever salvage this train wreck. Again, part 1 was mostly just a poorly written goosebumps ripoff, but part 2 is where F. Gardner's demented (I mean genius) storytelling shines

>> No.18258765
File: 410 KB, 1080x1444, CotA Faust.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18258765

>>18258760
Call of the Arcade, Second Half:

>It's now the day after and Jonny and Mark are heading to school.
>They comment on the bizzare day they had yesterday, and then talk about the report that is due today. Mark mentions that he worked on it all night, and that the previous days events inspired a lot of it.
>Mark then asks Jonny why he's bringing a lizard with him to school.
>picrelated.png
>They get to school and Mark has to read what he wrote to the class

>> No.18258767

>>18258756
"Discuss" it here: >>18249271

>> No.18258768

>Johnny and Mark

Holy Kek. Just like The Room

>> No.18258774
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18258774

>>18258765
>Afterwards the whole school heads to the Gymnasium to watch the basketball game.
>The school mascot is a crocodile, and he dances very enthusiastically until he starts shooting up the school.
>Mark and Jonny hide. Relatively unfazed, they decide to check their phones for any news about the shooting, despite the fact that it just started seconds ago.
>Picrelated.gif

>> No.18258778

>>18258767
No that’s the Call of the Crocodile General. THIS is the Call of the Arcade General.

>> No.18258780
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18258780

>>18258774

>The crocodile mascot breaks into the room that the two friends are hiding in, and lifts up his mask.
>(Plot twist) It's none other than Sam, who managed to escape from prison
>Just when he is about to kill the boys for revenge, a loud sound is heard from outside.
>picrelated.jpeg
>Jonny, who stole some of the pills Sam used the previous day to turn into the Hulk, gives one to his pet lizard, Faust. Who grows into a gigantic Godzilla and chews up Sam only to spit him out. The boys grab the keycard and run towards the area where Sam had just revealed the location of the bomb shelter.
>The location to use the keycard is in the underground city beneath Chicago. The electricity goes out, but they manage to use the keycard and enter the shelter just as nuclear blasts are heard from above.
>Also, Faust manages to fit inside the entrance to the shelter despite being the size of Godzilla
>Inside the shelter, they find a lab with a huge mutated insect.
>They decide to free the insect from its cage
>The boys also discover that the insect was genetically modified to obey orders
>Sam suddenly appears from the back entrance.
>The genetically modified bug almost kills Sam, but he escapes and runs outside.
>The city is revealed to have been blown to pieces
>Sam shows off two other genetically modified creatures that are under his control
>Jonny and Mark have a pokemon battle with Sam and defeat him.

>> No.18258788
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18258788

>>18258780

>A classroom is heard cheering.
>Mark finishes reading the report he spent all night working on.
>picrelated.bmp
>For a good several pages the teacher compliments Mark for writing such a brilliant story
>The class ends, and they all go to the scheduled basketball game.
>Mark runs into a ghost (or something)
>It's revealed that actually Mark's soul has been stuck inside the Polybius machine and he's still in the arcade.
>Mephistopheles shows up to guide him further into the secrets of the machine.
>The ghost of Sam's brother shows up and gives Mark a tip on how to escape from the machine
>Escaping, Mark returns back to the meeting where Sam is buying the Polybius machine from Bob.
>Mark steals the pills from Sam, and informs security about Sam.
>Things basically proceed as they did in the ending to Part 1

So that's Call of the Arcade. If you choose to read it, this is exactly what you are in for (and lots of weird, unnatural dialogue and grammatical errors). If it seems worth your time go ahead. But don't let any shills convince you this is anything other than trash. Perhaps enjoyable trash to some, but trash all the same.

>> No.18258798

>>18258767
That's a shill thread, in contrast this is a thread where I actually dissect and discuss the contents of the book. Also, this is about Call of the Arcade and not Call of the Crocodile. And given the quality of Call of the Arcade, I'm not in any rush to get to CotC anytime soon

>> No.18258807

>>18258798
How is this not a shill thread? You’re trying to make your book sound interesting while mixing in “criticism” to make it sound like you’re not Gardner.

>> No.18258833

>>18258756
Fuck off Gardner. You have a containment thread for a reason you fucking overweight retard. Go talk to yourself there. Also go buy a blazer that properly fits.

Reminder to anons that spamming and flooding is a reportable offense. If you see Gardner shilling his Young Adult garbage like this you know what to do.

>> No.18258843

>>18258833
>/lit/ is for the discussion of literature, specifically books (fiction & non-fiction), short stories, poetry, creative writing

Unlike the other thread, OP is actually discussing the book

>> No.18258848

Wow, that is terrible.

>> No.18258879

>>18258843
The thread is there for OP a.k.a
Gardner to have the discussion in. If other anons aren't entertaining his delusions in that thread, it still does not mean he should make another. Spamming violates board rules regardless if it's on the topic of books, if you can call that highschool YA bullshit a book.

>> No.18258957

>>18258780
>Jonny and Mark have a pokemon battle with Sam and defeat him.

How does he tie any of this to polybius?

>> No.18258964

>>18258879
Gardner you are incapable of fooling anyone. You're tactics of arguing with yourself is ridiculous. Your books will never be accepted into any YA reading list no matter how many times you repeat it. Even if your books were edited properly. You have a fucking school shooting in your plot. Yet you believe this to be appropriate for YA audiences?

Did you honestly think we wouldn't know it was you because of your "SAGE" trip? Stop Spamming.

>> No.18258966

Who do you think you’re fooling Frank?

>> No.18258970

Very good thread, thank you OP