/lit/ - Literature

>I was constipated. I tried and tried but nothing came out. I asked my imaginary friend, Jack-the Jack- I don't know where I'm going with this Jackson, to grab a fork and get the poop out of my butt. I told him to go deeper, then he fell in. I then farted him out. He then hated me. Then I tried to cheer him up, I told him a joke. It went like this: how many monkeys does it take to screw in a light bulb? It takes 3, 1 to screw in the bulb, and 2 to throw feces at each other. But when I told him that joke, I forgot he was a monkey. He then threw his feces at me. I started throwing my feces at him. He then urinated on me. Then he called all his friends and they threw their feces at me. I got stuck in a pile of feces. All the weight of the feces crushed my body. I died. But, when I was lying on the floor dead, somehow diarrhea still came out. It came out faster and faster. The monkeys tried to stop it from flooding the world, like it did in a previous episode. it didn't work. The whole world flooded in diarrhea, everyone died. The end.

>>1821111
Ya....that was hilarious to my old friends back then...

>I burped. I flushed myself down the toilet. The next person plugged the toilet so I couldn't get out. It was a porta-potty. Someone used a plunger. It didn't (fart) work, it needed more power. I died. In the autopsy they found massive amounts of a brown substance. After analysis, they found it was popito el crapato, or poop. The person who plugged the toilet wasn't sued but the porta-potty was put in a polygraph test. It passed. The plunger also underwent a polygraph test, it failed. But later was found innocent. Then they sued the poop! The end.

what the fuck is wrong with you

>>1821116
Ya, told you not to look at those.

...but anyone care to tell me how crap the actual story is?

>>1821135
Real crap. A hurricane of hurt? :(

I liked the Lost VII alot though

>>1821144
Had got me a B+ though.

Ahhh, I remember stopping after The Lost VII because I was like "well, this is just terrible."

>>1821155
As a complete stand alone VII is great. Write like that more.

>>1821162
I should become the Rebecca Black of short stories.

>>1821165
Ahaha no I just feel like you kept the writing style of the Losts and tried to get all serious with it and it's not meant for seriousness. Stay crazy, stay fecal.

>>1821174
Man, The Lost was back in single-digit age for me. And I had to be serious because the class was all like that. My writing is much better now, probably.

>>1821176
Childhood is the prime human form. Give me some now shit then! :D

It was terrible.

Your grammar and spelling are terrible.
Your dialog is terrible.
It's basically terrible in general.

Why would they allow him to stay in the hospital for weeks just because of amnesia? Especially when he has no obvious way of paying.

Your story is illogical and irrational and has no sense of cause and effect.

It's obvious you didn't proofread this whatsoever.

Here's some of your gems:
>but they we’re only faint.
>The nurse had her show niceness on again
>When I looked on my chest I seen a wound,
>I started to make myself slip asleep.


You overuse the word "obviously" a lot.

I also doubt your wrote it "5 years ago in high school" since you also reference elementary school.

The story reminds of a completely failed imitation of Shutter Island.

>>1821202
Ya, it was a big load of crap. Had no idea where it was going, was just writing. For some reason all my classmates said " I LOVE IT, INTERESTING!!1!!", and I was like "what..."

It's up to what you believe as to how long ago it was, I can only tell the truth. I don't blame you though, I don't believe anybody on the internet also.

>>1821219
I assume these classmates were fellow students in some division for the mentally handicapped or otherwise intellectually challenged.

>>1821240
What is this. Stick to the story.

But yeah, I don't know what's happen to them

>>1821263
>What is this.
It is an insult.

>Stick to the story.
No. I already told you what I thought it of it.

>But yeah, I don't know what's happen to them
I didn't ask what happened to them.

>>1821270
>What is this.
>It is an insult.
If so, weak

>Stick to the story.
>No. I already told you what I thought it of it.
You're implying everything I say is directed at you.


>But yeah, I don't know what's happen to them
>I didn't ask what happened to them.
Fair assessment.

>>1821277
Let me rephrase for you then.

You are a retard who went to the classes for the retarded, which are separated from rest of the students. When the other retards read your story they thought it was awesome because it just was retarded as they are.

These retards are your classmates because you are retarded.

Is that clear enough for you?
If it isn't insulting, please tell me how to insult you best.

>>1821277

>Quotes post
>Directly responds to post
>Claims statement is not directed at quoted post
>Implying

I like it. Def has potential.

IT'S ALMOST LIKE IT WAS SHUTTER ISLAND UP IN HERE

>>1822042
Shutter Island came out in 2010. That story was posted on blogger January 2009, written even before then.
I thought /lit was supposed to be smart, nothing but dumb flametards in here.