/lit/ - Literature

>>18192390
Post one sentence from any page after 50 and I'll believe you read it.

>>18192390
of course he read it, he wrote it retard

>>18192467
Shit negro, you're right.

>>18192390
t. has read three books in his life

>>18192390
is there a pdf or epub

>>18192538
I could upload them to libgen but I'm too lazy and they're honestly not worth it

>>18192547
Damn. Could you post the best passage from it? I've heard the dialogues are bad but the prose is complex, and that he plays a lot with word associations.

>>18192390
I actually bought this and am liking it even though it does feel like a horror movie that's trying too hard, I appreciate the effort author just needs to get a better editor to correct those unnecessary apostrophes and I think we could be looking at something no cap.

>>18192570
>the girl who had perky tits and very fair skin walked down to the arcade wearing nothing but a long Guns and Roses white t-shirt. Her hair was red.
–"They told you the man here. That true?", she asked me
–"Who the fudge is talking about me?", I replied, "wait don't go... Yeah, I the man. Did the Police sent you?" I asked.
–"No, sir, I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am that you didn't kill my parents", the girl said.
–"Well put those little red lips to thank me then, sugar tits", I said.
The girl then proceeded to take her shirt off and show me those perky roses of hers. I then showed her my guns.

That should give you a taste of it.

>>18192628
that's from arcade he's talking about croco

>>18192628
Yeah, bad dialogue. The rest is Hemingway

>>18192390
Are these books /lit/ or is it a 4chinz meme?

>>18192830
Pretty sure it's just some /lit/ wannabe writer trying to sell his own book.

>>18192423
>He entered the back room, reeking as it did, often, of garlic. Amid this scent and, layered in his reluctant conscious, was the screams of blood, hammering to get out.

>>18192390
"The capsule began to shift violently as the gas gurgled from deep within Frank's stomach. All around us a whirlwind of bubbles and half-digested cum buffetted the capsule back and forth, swirling unsteadily around in the parastalsys of his gurgling ooze. The burps coalesced together and rocketted out from his belly up his esophagus. From above, in his trachea, we hear his awkward, autistic-ass voice mumble a "e-excuse me" as he covers his mouth, trying desperately not to be embarrassed around his date(though 'she' was only there because Frank begged to pay for everything). "Thats...That's it...We'll create a whirlpool of gas to gurgle around in his burp belly so we can rocket ourselves to safety and ride the vomit out onto the trap's shirt, re-size to normal size, and then slice it's head off so it can't try and spread it's gay aids!" prof. retard said. "that's...genius..." muttered anon. "But how?"
"It's simple," a look of devilish glee glittered in the professor's eyes, "We jack off into Frank's fat burp sack until his stomach can't take the sheer volume of cum and force it to throw it all up." A top-marks idea.
"But...he's too used to large amounts of cum inside of him already...it'll never work...."
Again, the professor smiled, glasses reflecting the LED console by his head. "That's why I brought a super-weapon for this very occasion."
He moved towards the back of the ship and pulled a white cloth over a cage to reveal a feral, yet drugged and sleeping black man.
"No one can stomach the chocolate rain..."

>>18192423

>>18192830
Both.
>>18193453
His pen name is “f gardner.” Like him or not the dude wrote several books so he technically is a writer

Frank can you record your stomach gurgling after you eat and post it as a vocal clip on here or your facebook page

>>18192390
Are the paperbacks any good? I want to support the author.

>>18192628
> The girl then proceeded to take her shirt off and show me those perky roses of hers. I then showed her my guns.
jfc this is horrendous

>>18194978
That's because it's made up. Not from the book. neither is >>18192628

>>18194951
I think they're the same as the ebooks

>22 posts
>12 posters
So when is this thread taken down for advertising?

>>18195178
Keep seething you pseud.

>>18195185
>still 12 posters
Frank, come on man, your ads on every fucking page. leave it be.

>>18195178
So not even half of the anons here have made more than 1 post? It’s not advertising because it’s just another book we’re talking about, like almost every other thread. Nobody here is telling you to go buy it.

>>18195205
It’s been all year. It’s here forever.

>>18195219
Who’s talking about it, the people posting fake passages?
Pull the other one m8, congrats on getting people to actually read and buy, but fuck off with these astroturf threads

Stop shilling your gay book here

Why do pseuds hate it so much?

>>18195489
I find this odd too. Just jealous losers probably.

>>18194363
Based. Is this a sample of part of the book?

>>18195259
Ironically you would be better off criticizing his actual story. Complaining about threads just makes you seem like a baby and posting fake excerpts would only make people curious about the actual content. All you're really doing is helping more anons find these books by bumping this thread.

>>18195517
Yeah. In the book two of his friends who are just gay ripoffs of doc and marty go inside of him to fill his stomach with so much cum he throws them up so they can re size and kill a tranny. There's an amazing part where frank describes his rather disapointing and scar-riddled penis being only able to get it up if he whispers the lyrics to toxic by brittany spears to it. The book is really good to wipe down with if you run out of toilet paper. Frank may be a faggot but he's definitely a genius. Making a book that can not only be used as kindling to read actual books by in low-light conditions but also as toilet paper if need be. I don't know any other author that has ever openly advertized that before. Also Frank apparently jerks off to Reading Rainbow. What can I say? The guy is a huge, cum-digesting retard.

>>18195542
Okay Frank, I’ll remember to sage

>>18195552
Stop insulting my husbandu

>>18195576
Imagine being digested by Frank. Also reminds me: Frank can you record your stomach or you burping and post it in this thread please

>>18194289
Damn Gardner, hire an editor

I'm Thinking of Ending Things is similar.

>>18195702
I don’t think that’s from the book

>>18195501
Most likely.

>>18192390
Well Gardner, you've truly got a retard's ability to complete repetitive tasks (this is also the level of your writing ability). You've posted enough of these shill threads that I actually tried to read the free sample on Amazon, and it was just as terrible as I suspected it would be. I've reviewed it accordingly. Have a great day, you waste of oxygen!

>>18195725
So, I'm not the only one who thought it.

>>18195725
Damn I thought this too. At least for Crocodile. Arcade seemed more like cyberpunk hell raiser. Kind of like Neuromancer meets silent hill. I'm actualually curious about the rest of the lot now. I don't really hear people talk about the books outside of Croc and Arcade. Is there a reason for that?

>>18197461
it's because they're atrocious and everyone can see through your weak-ass attempts to hype this crap up.

>>18197490
If I was F Gardner why would I samefag the Crocodile book? Notice how there are never books about all the other ones? Makes no marketing sense.

>>18197528
This is one of the main reasons why that retarded conspiracy theory can't be true. I don't think Gardner really comes here. Pretty sure he just runs his ads and goes about whatever his normal life is. I've even seen threads on other boards and guess what? It's always just Call of the fucking Crocodile.

>>18197561
Doesn't help that anon who seethe against use his name as a trip.

>>18197561
Everyboard has it's boogeyman. For /pol it's the Jews behind everything. For /lit it's F Gardener.

>>18197572
>For /lit it's F Gardener.
I thought it was anime?

>>18197561
It's hilarious because I'm actually in a discord with him. He's more like R.C. Waldun. He doesn't realize how much of a fucking meme he has become.

So should I start with COTC and then read arcade?

I am also curious why the other two don't get mentioned as much.

>>18197582
Those are the only 2 I’ve read but Arcade was better. But no it doesn’t really matter which one you start with.

>>18197528
>>18197561
>>18197571
>>18197572
Gardner, you know that you can see the number of unique posters in a thread, right? So it's pretty obvious when you're samefagging.

>>18197593
It literally just went up retard

>>18197600
Yeah, because I posted here.

>>18192390
How come no one talks about Call of the Kappa?

>>18197604
So this is your new argument now that your conspiracy theory has a major hole in it
Imagine spending so much of your time seething over some obscure writer.

Just look at Gardner's fat, gormless face. You can almost see the stupidity radiating from it, like heat haze. He may actually be so dumb that he thinks his books are good.

>>18197624
This is so cringe, don’t know what I’d expect though after reading a couples pages of your terrible book

Frank did you draw the covers yourself? What is the deal with that shit?

>>18197660
Crossing the line. The covers of F Gardner (PBUH) are kino and pure SOUL.

>>18197720
nah. Harassment Architecture is peak Lino, in both title and cover, in the category of shitty 4chan books. It’s still pretty much just as bad as the call series, but at least it looks neat.

>>18192390
I'm starting to get interested in Gardner's books. Is it true that you can read them in any order?

>>18197768
Yeah order doesn’t matter. They all take place in the same city so that’s why they’re connected.

>>18197579
details on discord

>>18197959
It’s the one that gets shilled on here.

>>18192423
kek. yeah op. i made it 34 pagers

>>18198322
see>>18194823

>>18198681
Reads great.

>>18194823
I like how Gardner managed to misuse at least one comma in every single paragraph on that page, making it clear he just does not understand basic punctuation.

>>18194823
Is this all it takes to write a high selling book? Why haven't I done this sooner.

>>18198872
At this point it's just part of Gardner's charm Kek.

>>18199003
There's nothing charming about a loud retard.

>>18199151
I've never gotten that vibe from him on discord.

>>18198971
>high selling book
I think you're confused about what type of thread you're in, friend.

>>18197528
>>18197561
Screencaping this. Good observations.

>>18194823
>not in times new roman
Gross.

>>18199797
Actually I'm pretty sure that is Times New Roman.

>>18199834
Looks more like sans serif to me

>>18199834
Are you blind, retarded, or both?

R. C Waldun’s book.

give this guy support. he's homeless and doing everything he can

>>18201373
Why does 4chan love this guy so much

>>18201384
Because he's one of us and wrote some books