/lit/ - Literature

>>18117014
And so the power struggle begins, yet again

>>18117014
just been feeling quite down for a few days.

>>18117014
My family is ashamed of me

fuuuuuucking vtubers

farts come out of my butt. I waft them into my nose and love the odor.

>>18116532
I am the anon who posted at you. I am 30. At the end of my undergrad I had got into drinking and partying. I had barely scratched the surface of my technical skills upon graduating. My ability to word process and graphic design was pathetic. The fact that it's even a thought crossing your mind right now is a good thing. The fact that you aren't spending 3000 hours in dota 2 and then getting black out drunk on the weekends is AWESOME. I didn't get back into literature until law school. I didn't sit down and start woodworking or playing guitar seriously until a few years after undergrad. Take the time right now to set some short term skill based goals, arm yourself with knowledge and ability. I recently read the Book of the Five rings like a total weeb and I found it as a conceptual work about skill to be enlightening.

Look at your degree. Look at your current skillset. If you were to become one of the top talents in your field, what technical skills would give you an edge on everyone else? Is it something physical like penmanship or maybe more conceptual like your note taking system and synthesis of information. Do you need to learn a process you didn't learn in school? For example, law school doesn't teach you how to talk to judges or file paperwork or how to sell yourself (which is a big part of the job).

I know this thread is about to die and it's cringe to blog, but if you could at least share your major and the things you like, maybe we anons can help you brainstorm the particulars of what skills would be most helpful

>>18117014
anime sucks

I don’t really have any hobbies and I don’t know what to do about that.

I only read fiction and I can't get into philosophy

>>18117113
What kind of disposable income do you have?
Do you prefer mental or physical?
Do you prefer to explore or be exact?

>>18117117
Unironically start with plato because it reads like a fictitious play. From there I'd start looking into the philosophical novel genre (thus spoke, waiting for godot, etc).

>>18117125
>What kind of disposable income do you have?
Very little.
>Do you prefer mental or physical?
Neither. I have no hobbies. Remember?
>Do you prefer to explore or be exact?
I’m not sure what you mean. I fancy myself kind of laid back and creative if that’s what you mean.

>>18117142
My questions were not about your actual hobbies. I meant to gauge your personality and daily activity. Some hobbies are physical and require your hands or your whole body, others are all purely in the mind. Some hobbies are about creative exploration while others are about precision. If you have little money, prefer the mental, and prefer the creative, then weight lifting or oil painting aren't good choices for you. But if you have all the money, like the physical, and like precision then you'd want something like woodworking, but if you were more creative then gardening. etc.

I'm trying to figure out who you are in relation to the types of hobbies that are out there, because no matter what I recommend you will come up with an excuse of some kind, so I am trying to work around that predicted series of excuses (no money, I don't like exercise, I have OCD, etc)

I haven't been able to get an erection for weeks. In fact, I feel no libido at all. It makes me feel weak. I feel no drive. I feel like there is nothing to do, nothing worth doing. Even the low effort things I do to distract myself, such as vidya, aren't actually enjoyable - just engaging. I can't bring myself to write nor to study and at work I'm delivering just the bare necessities and even then at a snail's pace. It's not that I want to die, I don't; but I don't want to live either.

>>18117293
https://youtu.be/Sl_gyMftEqg

Your post reminded me of a lyric about not wanting to die but not wanting to live but I can’t remember the song so here’s a similar song to whatever song it was I was thinking of.

>>18117092
>>18117001
Well, I am a Computer Science major, and my profession is software engineering. Outside of that, I enjoy reading (particularly science, history, and genre fiction), and dabbled in writing fiction. I enjoy learning about foreign languages. My video game usage has been zero for a few months now, and I do not drink/smoke. If you care to know my vices, I consume pornography, overeat, and under-exercise (although I have begun dieting and working out in response to a sharp increase in my weight over the past months).

Much of my angst regarding my degree comes from my skills in computer programming and software engineering being far weaker than my college GPA would suggest. I was able to get a job, but I must acknowledge that the job hunt process exposed major weaknesses in my skillset and accomplishments. I guess I coasted on grades and school projects, doing just enough to get by but not enough to truly understand the work or create things. I have been working on algorithm practice and personal projects to fix that, but realizing that my peers have been doing this for the past few years while I sat back and wasted time has been sobering. It's not that I lack skills, it's that they are all underdeveloped. What I know in passing, I need to know in depth. That sort of thing.

As for my hobbies? I write a little, but the quantity and quality is not what I would like. I jump from language to language, never putting in the effort to bunker down and make progress. My body is a far cry from the fit one I would like it to be. I guess the common thread is that I have dabbled in many things, but I have never really built a skillset and portfolio to showcase it, both in my personal and professional life.

As for moving forward? In my career path at least, I have a plan. I am working on LeetCode (think problems designed to develop algorithm skills) and a GitHub portfolio to showcase what projects/software I have written. The objective is to develop the skills I got from uni, and to build interesting things which showcase my skills. As for my hobbies? They are on the backburner, but I do plan on working on them and on my fitness very soon. So, that's the rundown I guess.

I am a virgin and none of you know what my suffering is like. It's way greater than yours

I'm a human been.

Humans are a bunch of dramatic insecure fags.

>>18117346
Thank you for sharing anon. I’m in a similar situation. I’ve spread myself too thin and scraped by without truly internalizing what I was supposed to know (law (which is interesting because o once read an essay comparing code to common law)). We have a long way ahead of us and there are tons of people out there already better than us. But we gotta bunker down and become obsessive monks about it if we are ever to surpass mediocrity. Between tools, systems, and knowledge I see so many gaps in what I know, let alone the things I once knew and have since forgot.

I can’t help but feel this negative energy when approaching work I need to do, like when two magnets push against each other and then I fall back to easy hobbies or entertainment. It’s like my dedication broke at some point in the past two years. I wish I had it back. I sleep too much now. I used to be able to work for 12 hours a day.

I'm not sure if I'm the gremlin in the machine or the one plagued by gremlins. I don't think the gremlins know either, but we're all down here in the looking glass together now aren't we.

Currently enjoying the Overture to Die Fledermaus, check it out my fellow anons: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbn2U2ayUe8

>>18117408
The only reason why I know about Die Fledermaus is because of cross words asking me about a figure from it and I never fucking know. I hate that question.

>>18117014
I had a little bit of blood on my shit again

Monday morning after dark, running on the dirty ground, overseas near garbage, piles of garbage in the garbage, telling the sun to explode into a millions pieces, I ate a gun and pulled the rug

>>18117014
Do we live to abolish death? No, we live to fear it and then again to love it.

I don’t know what’s going to happen to my potatoes when I leave them alone for six weeks. Should I just throw them away? It’s 5kgs of potatoes. Why did I buy so many...

>>18117460
Give them to someone poor.

The more I think about it, the more I conclude that the Scottish are the most miserable race in Europe. They're every bit as beaten down and lorded over as the Irish, but at least the Irish put up a fight about it. The Scottish just wallow in misery and nihilism and drink. We all know they'll never be independent and will remain moored to England until the very end of time.

>>18117447
Fear is the mind killer.

>>18117092
Theres something about optimization culture which really irks me, was reading dominic cummings blog yesterday and its seems his vision for the country is just to establish it as a world power through a new breed of ultra capable superintellectuals. I cant stand the thought

>>18117476
Brussels might help you guys out, but then again some will argue that you are trading a English yoke for a German one

>>18117489
This. So much this. I hate nothing more. It's a sickness permeating everything these days. Give me idleness.

Want to learn the piano again (did it for a few 3 years as a young kid).
Debating wether to try to get a part time (University NEET) or wait until my FTM shoots back up to 80 cents (not likely).

>>18117489
I think that may have been part of the reason I have lost the will to thrive in the past few years. I hate to be the lefty late stage capitalism guy, but this incessant need to pay for rent and groceries and debts for cars and insurance and phone bills and student loan debt just all piles into this driving force of needing to go get a job, sitting down and shutting up, and being a cog in a machine that doesn't really 'help' society in a positive way. (I know those are loaded terms positing a preconceived notion of what is good and saying I know what's best for society etc) and the only alternative to that is either falling into a shitload of money by wealthy parents or investing or whatever. Or you start your own business and then you have all the ethical and technical issues that come with it in the modern business world. Marketing, sales, the technical skill itself, the immense capital needs for a start up. It's all just so tiring. So tiring that I think I find some sort of disturbing solace in talking more about efficiencies and processes and tools than I do actually doing the work and business work needed for my own company, which leads to this horrid attitude of wanting to turn myself into a machine, losing my humanity along the way. I just want to bake pies for grandmas and tend to a garden and read books and have a few beers with friends. And this entire system is set up so that 99% of people can't ever get to the pie baking, garden tending, beer drinking sociability part of the human experience.


Like even writing this right now, my brain is going into cost benefit. How I won't get many (you)s and how I just wasted a few minutes of my day being vulnerable when I should have been working. Magnets man, I'm tellin' ya.

>>18117363
how old? i'm 30 year old virgin.

>>18117489

Read meditations on moloch. It's inevitable.

Walking through a hospital for some hours was more insightful than a lot of discussions I have had on here

>>18117447
Im ambivalent to the idea of being dead, but being alive is pretty neat. Being alive is almost like living with tech; really neat and fun, but I could go without it if rubber hit the road. Im not going to pretend that death is some otherworldly experience that makes us truly human though, if we abolished it that would be cool.

Pain is a whole other thing though. You can miss me with that.

I am tired.
It's not a lack of sleep.
It's not bad habits (I don't smoke, drink, etc.)
I am quite healthy in fact (I work out and such)
It's just modernité. He coined the term to and I quote "designate the fleeting, ephemeral experience of life in an urban metropolis, and the responsibility of artistic expression to capture that experience."
And it's exacty that...

>>18117613
"He", I forgot to mention, is Charles Baudelaire.

>>18117613
You should try guerilla art. Say "fuck you" to the system while at the same time making the world a more beautiful place. Channel that ephemeral frustration into physical works of art.

Posted this at the end of the last thread, still not sure what to do:
Countless hours thinking about girls, thinking about improving my body, thinking about saving my hair....
Now that I "got" a girl, I can't even bring myself to reply her texts, and I don't really feel excited about going out again
Is she just the wrong girl? Can I even fall in love still? The fuck is wrong with me
Now I'm afraid I'll regret it later if I turn her down

>>18117637
I'm just weary of cosmopolitan centers. Every single person is just the most fugacious creature I've come across. When looking at the generations that came before us, I see life, a purpose; something to fight for... an ideal, a higher being. It has been forgoten or maybe worse, lost.
While I cherish the recomendation, I don't think scribbling over megacorporate buildings will help much.

>>18117709
I like that you fixed the typo.
I dislike that I have been hanging out in these threads all day.

>>18117014
The future. It is all I have to think about. In my classes right now, I put in the minimal effort required to get by with A's. My parents and grandparents all know that I am a good student that has a good brain between their ears, but I can't bring myself to exert that much effort into these simple assignments for these classes that claim to be challenging but aren't. In my physics class especially, I tend to just browse the internet looking at forums and watching whatever video interests me at the time while I put the zoom meeting on low volume and ignore the teacher. Come the test, I just watch more youtube videos that explain the concepts in a clear and concise way and breeze through the test. I've always been a student that is enrolled in upper-level courses, but I feel like the courses have hit a wall where I'm not learning much anymore. But where I do learn, upon discussing it with my parents they say that they haven't used whatever concept we were discussing outside of highschool. Luckily for me, my district has a program where students are able to take classes at a local community college. This is why I am excited for the future. These classes appear more difficult, more intellectually stimulating, and in some cases more interesting to me. I hope that this is what I need to finally break my habit of academic laziness. I plan on taking courses like law, which interests me (and to please my mother who thinks I would make a good lawyer), and courses in accounting, which I currently want to major in, and a course in the modern history of Europe, which I enjoy and have been reading about since I recently found out the origins of my family, my last name, and the country which governed over them (pic related). Furthermore, I look forward to growing up so that I can experience and enjoy the privileges and responsibilities that come with being a man.

My days are split into periods where I work on certain projects and where I have existential thoughts. When the latter happens I’m constantly faced with the problem “what should I be doing?”. Then I survey my options (should I marry? or should I live in the woods? or should I move back to NY?), and they all seem pointless. Then I fall asleep, forget about everything, and, if the next day is good, I resume doing things without wondering about why I do them

>>18117709

Happened to me too. We broke up, I regretted it, wanted her back. The moment it looked like we would get back together I just thought "nah". I missed her for a really long time, conveniently forgetting that half the time we were together I was planning on when to end it.

No idea why this is or how to handle it. Maybe stick with her for a while and see if things change? You are not supposed to fall in love in a matter of weeks. Just be honest and don't lead her on by lying, don't be a dick in other words.

>>18117014
u trippin' bitch, I'm iced out

>>18117744
1. You might get fucked in college if you do not get your zoomer brain in order.
2.
>which I enjoy and have been reading about since I recently found out the origins of my family, my last name, and the country which governed over them (pic related)
That is nice but please do not ever talk to a German about your heritage.

The stolen and perverted writings of Homer and Ovid, of Plato and Cicero, which all men ought to contemn, are set up by artifice against the Sublime of the Bible; but when the New Age is at leisure to pronounce, all will be set right, and those grand works of the more ancient, and consciously and professedly Inspired men will hold their proper rank, and the Daughters of Memory shall become the Daughters of Inspiration. Shakspeare and Milton were both curb’d by the general malady and infection from the silly Greek and Latin slaves of the sword.

Rouse up, O Young Men of the New Age! Set your foreheads against the ignorant hirelings! For we have hirelings in the Camp, the Court, and the University, who would, if they could, for ever depress mental, and prolong corporeal war. Painters! on you I call. Sculptors! Architects! suffer not the fashionable fools to depress your powers by the prices they pretend to give for contemptible works, or the expensive advertising boasts that they make of such works: believe Christ and His Apostles that there is a class of men whose whole delight is in destroying. We do not want either Greek or Roman models if we are but just and true to our own Imaginations, those Worlds of Eternity in which we shall live for ever, in Jesus our Lord.

>>18117776
Why not?

>>18117744
I did this for 3 years, from 8th grade to 11th in english class (I'm portuguese). I had mastered english by then. Never once did I pay attention to those classes and always got 18/20 in most tests if not more.
>I recently found out the origins of my family, my last name, and the country which governed over them
Based Bismark. My "main" ancestor is Hernán Cortéz. It's quite cool to have a known person in your bloodline.

I'm writing a fantasy romance where the main characters are going to have to take care of a kid and I don't have kids in real life and I'm having to research childcare to be accurate and I'm turning 35 in a month and it's kinda hitting hard.
The more I see babies I want oooooonnnnnneeeeeeeeee.

Compiling a list of stuff to read on an upcoming vacation, please tell me if you've read any of these and what you thought of them.
>The Crying of Lot 49
>Walden
>The Moviegoer
>Essays on Idleness
>Hunger (Knut Hamsun)
>De Rerum Natura
>Fear and Trembling

>>18117794

Doesn't go over well since the second world war. I'm not german but from my experience, they have a kind of internalized shame about their past and don't like talking about it, much less express pride in it.

>>18117726
Eh, its just a creative outlet, if you think its scribbles then its not for you. Typically when all your needs are met and you are looking for something to do its either create something, or dedicate yourself to something. Some people become gardeners, other people play vidya or read, and other people join an alt-right political club. Just trying to steer you in a less toxic direction. Its probably a good thing you are free to choose anyway.

>>18117014
I don't know how much I am supposed to get out of each book. Some books I get a lot out of, and some I only get an overarching theme from the book, or even just emotional impressions. I could describe the plot in a general sense, but I sometimes worry that if I can't recall smaller details, I haven't read the book properly. For me, characters are the sums of their parts and this sum is added to slowly with each even in a book subconsciously. I don't actively think "because they did X, Y, and Z, they are this type of character," I just think "they are this type of character," and then if someone asked me why, I would list X, Y, and Z as reasons. I'm autistic but sometimes I worry that it impacts my reading too much.

I want to start a comfy and chill general where /lit/ anons can talk and shitpost about everything insted of creating random threads that the janny will delete. Any ideas for the name of the general?

>>18117803
>It's quite cool to have a known person in your bloodline.
It is. Makes the history seem closer to home.
On the topic of slacking off in school, I'm in the same boat as you. Everything is easy and I understand a lot very quickly, but I do recognize what >>18117776 is saying as it is what my parents are saying as well. I'm hoping these classes are what I need to beat this habit out of me, because I know that if I continue with the regular classes it'll only become a stronger habit.

>>18117823
Understandable

Wondering how badly the social isolation over the last year degraded my brain as well as mourning over its inevitable end and my graduation which will spell the end of uni life.

>>18117852
i'm not lying, my profile is similar to the guy on the right but i cant grow a decent beard.

>>18117851
Write what's on your mind, which is basically a comfy and chill general where /lit/ anons can talk and shitpost about everything

>>18117851
Authors Anonymous
Pen and Prattle General
Open Book General
I dunno. That's all I have at the moment.

Is /lit/ getting the vaccine?

>>18117903
I'm not. Not for any real reason other than I'm a recluse writing my books. I can't be bothered. Lemme create in peace.

>>18117903
I drove my 80 year old walking impaired grandma into the middle of nowhere to get her the J&J, when I was walking out I sarcastically asked if they had an extra and they did, in fact, have one left over for that round.

I don't care if it's a hoax or a zombie making agent or a microchip by bill gates. It makes her happy and I can leave the house without fearing I'd take away the last few remaining years of her life.

>>18117903

Yeah. Want to spend the summer abroad. Being vaccinated is gonna make everything related to that a million times easier. Plus uni dorms will probably ask for vaccination certificate next year.

>>18117903
Yeah, being 5G enabled sounds pretty dope.

>>18117903
I do not want to solely because everyone is trying to force it on me. Yes, my brain works like that, I never had an issue with vaccines before.

>>18117014
I hope u like my hot, fucking hentai skateboard collection

>>18117014

>>18117504
>This. So much this.
I hate to have to say this, but this is very ____Reddit____.

started to read journey to the end of the night and not gonna lie, it's not comfy to read, will it get better?

Met with a girl yesterday, it went really well but I already want to stop it because I know that I dont want a relationship with her and so it feels like a pointless deadend.

Fear. Fear is always on my mind. I cant get rid of it. I dont know what to do.

Do you guys think that learning a foreign language and especially its grammar actually changes your ways of thinking in a larger context

Don't really give a fuck about my STEM degree anymore and I don't know what to do.
>>18118009
It's good, but not a comfy ride anon

>>18118056
I think it does. I don't really know much of another language except for a tiny bit of Spanish. But from my observations of my latino friends, many of them subtly shift when they are speaking in spanish. Their posture, their tone, and their mannerisms all change in unique ways. I hate to generalize the whole romantic language thing, but they always seem more fluid and emotional and in terms of generalities when they are speaking in spanish. I get that this is probably culture and the inherent nature of how one expresses themselves in spanish, but I think it really does shift the way one thinks, acts, and behaves depending on what language their mind is currently thinking in.

>>18118056
My second language is Japanese and to make a long story short their sentence structure is reversed from ours, right? So you have to actively say okay I need to switch around subject verb adjective to verb adjective subject (on top of having to find the right words) so...kinda? A big part of it is basically doubling your vocab at higher language mastery since you're basically doubling every word up.
There's also words and expressions that don't exist in English that can't be directly translated. That's kind of neat.

My current reading list, thoughts?

>>18118115
I don't see my books on there. Meh. (I'm joking.)
Those books look like they'll make you big brain if you finish them all.

>>18118133
What do you write about, anon?

>>18118115
you're a fucking larper, Hegels Phänomenologie would take you months alone. Pick one book and read it slowly.

>>18118092
i just want to point out that, due to the fact that satorin is a mind-reader, that means if someone were to knead her cheeks like that, it could only be because she herself allowed it to happen. therefore, when you see satorin with her cheeks kneaded like so, she is consenting to it and has allowed to happen regardless of any surly and unamused expression you might see on her face
thank you for attending my ted talk, please carry on

>>18118107
In spanish, the adjective is put on the other side of the noun so like
>The green ball
is actually
>The ball green
>La bola verde
Which is really neat because when you speak a sentence with an object that has adjectives you know what the item is before you know what contains it.
>The big round bulbus dark massive penis
would be
>El gran pene redondo de bulbus oscuro y masivo
or something like that (again, barely know the language)
So that would lead, to, I think, culturally, more of the idea of the thing itself being more prominent than what type of thing that thing is. It also doesn't allow for the ol' switcheroo that some writers use.
So with that being just one example, any given language is going to have a ton of little quirks that each incrementally shift the way things are perceived, I think.

>>18118000
>I hate to have to say this, but this is very ____Reddit____.
I hate to have to say this, but this is very ____Reddit____.

>>18118152
It's afterlife fantasy so I touch religion a lot with it and have gods play characters pretty often but both of my protags I've had were alive at the start of the story and die in like the first two chapters.
It's a lot of fun to write the series because of the setting I can pull in anything as long as I have an in universe reason to.
I've seen some sites label my work as horror though probably because some scenarios are graphic (but necessary) but at its core it's fantasy adventure to me.

>>18118107
What sort of larper claims to speak Japanese but thinks verb goes at the start sentence structure kwab

how do I stop falling for any girl who shows me the tiniest bit of kindness?

>>18118166
Honestly it kinda blew my mind early on when I saw different languages had different sentence structures. I have to pause and think of how to formulate my sentence or if I'm in a hurry reduce myself to barbarian talk. You good. Me hungry. Eat now. Yes. Etc.
Language is so fun.

>>18118194
Oh oops I messed up. Was more of a ramble I'm sorry please don't take that as gospel if you're studying frens.
I'm N4/N3 level spare me the whip just this once.

>>18118195
have it happen more often

I think Spurdo is my favorite meme character. He's just so much better than Pepe and Wojak. He has so much more personality.

>>18118199

Just use it more and after a while it becomes natural. Switching is very easy once you are nearing proficiency.

>>18118187
Sounds very interesting anon, would you mind sharing some of your work here?

>>18118195
Get laid

>>18118050
What are you afraid of?

>>18117941
This is quite infantile anon

>>18118092
There’s no OSFA answer but I’ll just say I wish I had just left my degree program when I knew I wasn’t interested.

I waste so much time on this site. I am hopelessly addicted. I just want to leave and never come back.

>>18118250
I already did. I reveal myself every once in a while. About a decade ago I massively revealed my works and tried to get into the recommended reading section but that failed so I went deeper into the shadows. Still at it though. I'm very passionate for the written word.

>>18118253
not a virgin and it happens less now, maybe it will pass with age but for now it's still an issue

>>18118257
Unironically, life. It's just too unpredictable and random.

>>18118287
You are living right now

Why does he make trannies, homosexuals and marxists seethe like no other person has ever been able to do so?

>>18118314
He has a large following of young people, hence use the same social media as LGBT+ and commies hence why they are constantly on Peterson's case.

Peterson is a chump.

I just discovered how much I like manga at 27 years old. How the hell should I feel about this? I already missed the boat, didn't I?

>>18117732
No comment on my sad pet collection?

>>18117014
I FUCK U UP SO BAD! EVERYONE IN THIS THREAD!

I have written something that I honestly feel is very good, and completely original. Not just an original story, but perhaps the first ever ebook which is medium-essential to being an ebook.

I am proud.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B092VBPC65

You can either read it now for 99 cents, or if you wait until 5pm Aussie time today, it will become available for free for a week and you can get it gratis then.

Worth mentioning that it's not my first pulished book;

https://www.reddit.com/user/johndavidcard/comments/mtfs6q/shortform_links_bibliography/

But it is without a doubt, my best.

>>18118372
>Peterson is a chump.

>>18118438
Alas, I have been vanquished.

>>18118453
I would never buy this simply because I can't tell at all what it's about. You couldn't give a quick summary on the Amazon page or anything?

brothers karamazov is pretty good if you're into christianity

>>18117903
bonka wonka yes i is

>>18118476
Well, like I said it's gonna be free pretty soon. But also, I did allude to what the story is about on the store page - so I feel like you didn't read either it or my post properly.

But, to reiterate, it's like the epistolary-schizophrenic section of Lovecraft's A Whisperer in Darkness were set in a modern cubicle style office and concerned a computer keyboard.

>>18118510
What? Neither it nor the post actually details what this book is about. The Amazon description says something to the effect of "it's redundant and redundant". What am I supposed to get out of that?

>>18118525
Well, it's free in 12 hours anyway

I wonder what direction my story is gonna go. Boobs. Booby. I hate the French. The Wicker man was pretty good

>>18118419
I just want to add to this that I have enormous age anxiety and insecurity. I was basically a hollow husk and a failed normie trying to present as normie, but I had no actual interests until I was at least 25 years old? How does that happen? How does someone spend all of their teens and all of their early twenties, not even knowing what they're actually into only to get into it when they're already too old?

>>18118532
we're very social creatures, there's no shame in that

>>18118560
I'm actually not though. I just had a handful of people who I desperately wanted to view me a certain way since I was so insecure and now I pretty much regret it.

>>18118576
that's what I mean though, that's pretty normal I think. this idea that everyone should just be themself and know what that means is holywood propaganda imo, the reality is much more confusing. I can see why you would feel that way, I'm just saying I don't think you should beat yourself up too bad

>>18118170
hmm not really though, not sure what you mean.

>>18118532
Social expectations. Commodification of every aspect of society. Debt obligations. Wage slavery. There’s so much that must be done to maintain appearances that one sometimes completely misses what was in front of them the whole time. It’s never too late until you’re dead, anon.

>>18118092
>Don't really give a fuck about my STEM degree anymore and I don't know what to do.
I dropped out, started doing what I love and couldn't be happier.

>>18118587
Well, yeah, I do agree with that. It's at least not abnormal. I just don't think people take it to extremes as I did and for the most part, they kind of figure out who they are by the time they're like 22, not freakin' 28 years old.

>feel kinda down
>listen to the JoJo OST
>remember I’m a king who can do anything I set my mind to

>>18118828
based af
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIkhGvXB0ek

>>18117376
and a real hero

I've only ever had a cigarette 9-10 times in my life. A few days ago my brother offered me one and it was the first time that it didn't taste like shit. I bought and smoked a pack over the weekend. Trying to avoid the urge to go buy more. Fuck me.

>>18117903
No, never. I don't care if my lungs collapse because of it, I still refuse to the vaccine with my entire being.

>>18119060
this is nightmare fuel

>>18118261
>TAKE.
>YOUR.
>FUCKING.
>VACCINE.
>RIGHT.
>FUCKING.
>NOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!

>>18119060
I hate the habit but you get to make lots of friends and take lots of breaks. :/

>>18117014
Yes, I'm done now. I was never going to become the next Faulkner, the next Nabokov or the next Joyce, but I hid behind the language barrier to avoid criticism for months, maintaining an illusion that was fun to live in while it lasted. I had thought my country's education system was topmost in the world, but this turned out to be utter bollocks. A child of 18, a person ten years my junior, has a greater vocabulary than I, who had to look up the word “topiary”, and no one likes the expression theory of art anymore, I am likened to a long lost dinosaur.
This will be my final post on /lit/. I've been humiliated and exposed as a fraud. My writing is pretentious, infantile, banal drivel. My observations are dull, my language grade school level. My tenses are mixed up; I use colloquialisms, ellipses and onomatopoeia. I mix tired and trite idioms together to obfuscate their unoriginality with a veneer of irony; I have continued to recite ornate Jewish chimpanzee parables with diminishing returns. The parable seemed very clearly to me to be asking me whether or not the now-grown-adult can choose. I say yes, of course, but that's not my issue.
I was never cut out for writing. I began writing my "book" on January 6th. Since then I've produced 82 thousand words for it. These words are a tide of garbage without value, without insight, without form. The themes of time, space, infinity, memory and pointless duelling are not present in my work. It was never real writing, it was anime and weebshit. Look how many words I wrote, because apparently literature is bodybuilding and just aimlessly typing will somehow improve my writing. I don't even know what genre it is that I'm writing. Is it autofiction? A comedy? A picaresque?
Regardless, I have failed. I have put down my pen. Never again will my fingers click-clack across the keyboard. No more outlines, no more characters. Goodbye

My life, if you can even call it a life, has been an interconnected series of events that has been leading up to and culminating into one greater event. Event of the utmost importance. Event that has filled my life with a purpose, mission, and faith. Nothing else mattered to me in my life of 23 years on this planet except this. Every action of my being has been committed to advancing this cause, this play, this great festival and celebration of my existence.
And now the time has come for me to fulfill my destiny - I shall fight Pitbull to death, and I shall win.

You guys like camping? I like camping. I think it’s a very not /lit/ activity however.

>>18117941
same.

>>18119242
>I think it’s a very not /lit/ activity however.
everyone on this board calls everything they do, even taking a shit, "/lit/". don't be too obsessed with superficial garbage.

After a lifetime of being skinny and acne ridden I have in the past year or so undergone what the kids on the Web might call a 'glow up' and I don't know how to handle my powers. I have destroyed three nascent relationships because I cannot keep it in my pants and don't know how to turn down sex when a woman shows interest in me.

>>18119242
Camping is becoming one with nature. It’s very /lit/ both to write and to read in only the sound of nature. I miss camping. Haven’t done it in a while. My family isn’t as mobile as they used to be.

>>18117014
I have yet to find a sufficient reason for living on this decrepit, old planet. I must find what I excel at, and how I can succeed above and beyond others. The only thing I think could solve this is if everyone were a crowd, staring at me in awe.

>>18119227
See you tomorrow bro

>>18119314
>My family isn’t as mobile as they used to be.
Why’s that?

came to the realization that my motivation behind writing is more vanity than any sort of genuine love for the craft

Most simulacra of simulacra. I ordered pants off the internet from costco that were delivered in a bag to my front door. The pants themselves appear to be slacks and LOOK like they are corduroy but are, in actuality, polyester. The packaging said they were "loaded with features" and the inside of these pants has a fuzzy soft lining. There's even a zipper in one of the pockets.

It's like it has evolved past the need for pants as pants

These are the pants of lost futures.

I'm crying. I can't believe it. I'm actually crying. It's happening. Tears are flowing from my eyes. Snot is dribbling out of my nose. This is crying? Yes, I believe this really is crying. So this is what I've read about it in books, but now I'm actually experiencing it. There's no doubt in my mind, this is me crying. I can't stop. I just have to let it all out. My face is scrunched up. This is crying.

>>18117784
Meds. Now.

>>18117851
Write what’s on your mind

>>18119750
Let it out bro. The sweet release of such sorrows can sometimes be the exact thing you need. I normally only cry when I’m piss drunk.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0grw0mweTWw

Politics is really gay. Everyone I have met who is “really” into politics on either side has been a joyless fucking geek with zero to negative charisma. If someone starts talking to me about politics, like really detailed shit, I assume they’re retards.

>>18120002
this but with philosophy.

>>18120002
>joyless fucking geek with zero to negative charisma
yeah, that's me, i don't really give a shit bro like enjoy your board games or whatever the fuck it is you people do
all i ask in return is that you never post your retarded half-baked opinions where i can see them or vote

>>18120063
>The first time my sexuality awoke, without even knowing porn existed, I immediately gravitated to agp porn
wow cool story about your innate genuine inner being bro, do you have any idea how many people have the exact same story except with inflation, vore, sonic the hedgehog furry diaper porn, and whatever the fuck else you can imagine? your fetish and the experience you are basing your identity around are bedfellows with absolute fucking absurdities and the only thing tying them to any form of meaning in your mind is a sunk-cost fallacy that can dissolve at a moment's notice, because that's all it takes to realize that sex is an empty pleasure and the only illusory joy is in the masochistic self-harm of violating your own boundaries
you said "cis male heterosexuality" like it's some fucking institutional straightjacket forced on you but it's literally just what normal people do without being prompted or watching ten thousand hours of sissy hypno. like, do you have any idea how much fucking effort it probably took you to get to this point? how can you call normalcy alien and the result of thousands of hours of weird sissy hypno shit on pornhub made by bored coomers somehow less "alien and disassociating"? aren't those things the entire fucking point of the exercise?
i'm not even sure why i wrote all of this. it's not even true that i don't want you to suffer - if you did, i'm sure i would find pleasure in vindication. but the truth is that these are all my experiences too, and once i decided i no longer wanted them to be a part of me, everything i thought was my identity as whatever sort of feminine submissive male fell away from me and dissolved like it was never even a part of me at all. maybe that's why i wanted to tell you all of this - so you too could experience the pain of that

>>18119227
Before you go, take this

she broke up with me /lit/. it's over. press F

>>18120163
it's just a woman

>>18120166
and yet, i loved her

>The childlike enthusiasm, almost autistic devotion to studying and observing the natural world and literature has fizzled away
Now each time I look at a tree or moss, I turn away. Who am I to interpret the complexities of reality and nature? My free trial of thinking and observing and loving nature and the world of ideas in innocence and joy has ended. Now I must labor and suffer. Go back to beginning. I don’t understand 2+2=4 anymore. Know nothing anymore. Guess it’s time to relearn everything, but without joy and zeal. I used to put my hands in front of my face, cross-legged on my bed at night, as a child, look at my hands, and suddenly feel intense fear and curiosity of realizing the severity and awe of “I am, I exist”. I can do so no longer. I am an automaton. Bros.....will I ever get that back? Will suffering and experience wake me from my slumber or drive me deeper into autopilot? Peering autistically at insects and fish or reading intensely about them is all I’ve ever done to the exclusion of literally everything else. Maybe by withdrawing the gift, God calls me to something deeper. But I don’t know how to get my self-consciousness back.

>>18120180
Now read Weininger’s Sex and Character (particularly the chapter on erotics and aesthetics). Begin the seethe

>>18120142
Hilarious reply. I wish the original comment was still up.

>>18120180
Enjoy that love. It was always just yours anyway.
Better luck next time.

>>18120220
yeah yeah, women are spiritual children and blah blah
>>18120236
thank you. if only she drank alcohol, i could count on a drunk text at some point, but she does not, oh well

I pissed my neighbor off by masturbating.

Over the course of the last half year or so, I feel my mind has been unlocked, for lack of a better description, resulting in an outright overwhelming amount of insights and understandings I've been ignorant of. This does not mean I believe myself to be enlightened as even as the understandings form, I know and feel there is another world's worth that I have yet to even think of. Things such as understanding grander causality, the truth of morality, the birth of ideas, and the true nature of power. Many more I've yet to even flesh out as my mind races to new ideas. I've also purposefully neglected to read works of philosophy through my youth, not because I believe in any superiority over them, but because I wish for my ideas to be put together as independently as realistically possible. As such I believe it is time I begin writing and though I don't believe my ideas to have any worth on their own, I feel they will never have any should the only discussion take place in my own mind. This however leads to a sobering realization that I cannot write for shit and express myself with all of the eloquence of a rabid squirrel in need of an exorcism. Thus, I would ask for a recommendation on a book or books on expressing ones self so I can discuss these ideas without them seeming like the intoxicated ramblings of a madman. Any and all help is always appreciated.

>>18117851
/snc/ - Spill and Chill
Chill and talk about everything that has been in your mind.

>>18120426
You could start by reading vocabulary to increase ways to express the idea.

>weak men create hard times
>hard times create....strong men?
Let me start by saying that I dont think this is the case anymore, I would definitely understand how this statement could have been relevant 200, 500 or 1000 years ago but not anymore. Let me explain you why...

Hard times are created by weak men who inherited a world where everything was already built for them, major problems and societal issues solved and in an era where peace and safety was the norm. These men, having faced no real challenges or adversity in their entire lives start looking for abstract (moral, ethical, religious, political, environmental,etc) issues or problems to identify with, with the hopes of giving their worthless, material and individualistic lives some sort of higher meaning, and with the aspiration of belonging to a greater cause and/or to a larger group. 1000 years ago, this larger group ago would have been our tribe, our village, the empire or the nation but with our current globalist and interconnected reality that has also changed. People don't identify with their neighbors anymore, when was the last time you spoke to your neighbors or the people from your local community? Our tribe and therefore our modern identity is now defined by our interests and hobbies, our political affiliations, the shows normies watch, the people we follow on social media, who we vote for, the music we listen, etc... For example a redditor subconsciously perceives his favorite subreddit as his archetypal tribe, as his people and regards everyone who explicitly disagrees with him as an outsider, therefore not only will he distrust him but he will rarely agree with them even though he is presented with facts that contradict his narrative and way of thinking. This can be applied to any other NPC and whatever "community" or "social group" he identifies with.

So, the first major realization is that no matter what happens in our reality, these npcs and weak beta soibois will never change their way of thinking because its precisely this way of thinking that gives them their public identity, their Persona or "Mask" according to Jungian psychology. Paradoxically, these individuals see themselves as unique and different when in fact they are a just a general copy of the other people from their same ideological tribe.

>>18117540
>How I won't get many (you)s
I enjoyed your post but you should get rid of this mindset

>>18120470
>Continued...
The second realization and probably the final black pill is that weak men in modern times are not only a product of propaganda and subversive ideologies but a product of our current modern lifestyle, way of living and environment. The water we drink is filled with micro plastics, fluoride, hormones from birth pills and other products, pesticides, toxins and chemicals. It has been proven that micro plastics act as endocrine disruptors, altering our hormones while at the same time mimicking estrogen compounds, the same thing happens when men consume onions. It has also been shown that atrazine, a pesticide, is able to alter the biological sex of frogs when exposed to this chemical, yes Alex Jones was right about this too. Its not a surprise that sperm counts and testosterone are drastically declining with each year, that majority of men are now weak beta cucks and soibois, that homosexuality and gender dysphoria are so prevalent and now seen as natural when it has never been this way in the history of humanity. Even dick size is decreasing due to the constant exposure to microplastics. Scientists have even discovered micrpolastics in placentas of unborn babies...

With sperm counts and testosterone levels drastically declining, we could expect a MASSIVE fertility crisis in many western nations in the near future. Also, who knows the long term effects of the vaccines and many fear the possibility that it will cause major fertility issues in both women and males....

In other words, Im very skeptical to the idea that the current "hard times" we are facing will end up creating strong men, instead I think that its more likely for our current society to create weaker and weaker men until the human species goes extinct.

>>18120463
My lexicon is fairly extensive and the first time I came across a word I was unfamiliar with was reading an essay by Chompsky. A problem I believe I noticed momentarily ago however is that my writing and typing are primarily influenced by the same train of thought that dictates my speaking. If the flow or train of thought is lost, so too would my sentences. I do not believe searching for synonyms would be beneficial to such a restriction. Doubly so when I have a distaste for being needlessly obtuse or obfuscation to mask the subconscious desire to seem more intelligent than one is. Vocabulary should be adjusted relative to the audience. If one is to write for people to understand then adding words most do not would do more harm than good.

>>18120498
>the first time
Rambled my way past part of that sentence.
>the first time in a very long while

>>18119242
If you bring your e-reader it is 100% /lit/

I love how soft and creamy snow is.

>>18120482
I agree with everything you said, except this:
>until the human species goes extinct.

I find that unlikely. The western man, the European diaspora, will go extinct, and the world will be divided by chinks and niggers. The reality is, Humanity faces a fate worse than extinction: that of complete niggerification.

>>18118000
I wouldn't know since I do not browse Reddit. I would advise you to stop seeing spooks everywhere.

Normies really don't have a functional or natural moral sense, only a socially implanted response mechanism. How many women do you think have arrived at a stance against contraception and abortion without the influence of religion (and where can I find one)?
Completely divorced from good taste and sense by default

>>18120610
>Completely divorced from good taste and sense by default
What does that even mean.

>>18120610
The worst part is the cognitive dissonance of those sterotypical feminists who support abortion but are vegans and pro human and animal rights

I watched the interview with MPW and he said to be honest with yourself and know what drives you. Truth to be told, i never had an even a slightest idea what drives me. I always had to choose not what i truly wanted but rather the less shitty option out of two. My life is just an unfunny joke.

This is my comment. I'm in my mind. Now it will write the following message. We each have our own animal farm: the Demodex we feed with our face.

>>18120610
Women are rarely known for independent thought. That said, there's nothing wrong with religion being a moral influencer. Morality by nature is a meme and even you aren't exempt from its influence. Modern morality, that which you are born into presumably, is primarily derived from the influence of Christianity. What one believes in is not something that can be objectively measured or made. Morality is something that must be cultured through influences, a Christians moral belief that abortion is wrong may well be just as strong of a feeling as yours that you claim to be made without Christian influence. The only difference is the weight you put on the source of their beliefs and your lack of awareness as to the source of your own.

>>18120665
I would be more accepting if they were OK with post-partum infanticide
>>18120675
I've got no illusions. I've read the genealogy of morality. I just find it ugly

Nothing that doesn't exist isn't real.

I'm antisocialism :(

>>18117014
Is it true that Vtubers are all fat trannies

>>18120705
>I've got no illusions
If you bother to make the distinction between the source of someone's beliefs you clearly do
>I find it ugly
For what fucking purpose? Are you so fucking enlightened that you somehow feel you're divorced from the reality you occupy? If that influence wasn't there, it'd be some other influence, possibly even more retarded than this one. Its a natural development of civilization and without it, you wouldn't be even having this discussion, let alone the thoughts leading to it.

>>18120753
Yes. That's why they're virtual.

>>18120768
Are u mad of my superior instinct? Even if you are correct you are still a gay nerd

I feel like I wasted so much time being self-absorbed and navel-gazing, instead of actively seeking out the woman I am destined to marry. I'm over 30 now and I worry I have let all my youth go to waste. I badly want to get married and have a family now, but I should have been striving for it years ago.

As the years go on I see myself more and more forever intertwined with the military and may end up staying in. Perhaps its how I grew up in which I never possessed any sense of belonging and now do. But indeed, that sense of belonging is purchased with days of excruciating boredom, degradation, and intellectual stagnation. I find myself wishing for conflict or war just to give meaning to my existence.

I do not regret my service, but sometimes ponder if the best years of my youth could of been used for something else. Something that could of been enjoyed with the freedom of a man not under the authority of a brutal and troublesome organization.

>>18120868
You already know what paths you have forward bro. Don't stagnate. Milfags have great opportunity and professional advantage on the outside when you discharge, you can easily set something up

>>18120868
We're all anonymous here, and you are free to disbelieve me but I swear I am not a fed.

So, I am somewhat curious: you ever get the urge to go full Napoleon? He was an enlisted man too, once upon a time.

And yet, even in peacetime there exists moments of great exaltation within my job. Moments when you and your fellows are pushed to the edge physically and emotionally but remain strong. All this talk of men weakening in the world, and the comforts of modern living rendering us feeble in the eyes of ancestors ages past is perhaps true for wider society. but once in awhile, a certain spark is ignited by the shared hardship of the Infantryman. When viewed, it reminds one of the glory and audacity of the great heroes of the mythic centuries.

>>18117540
I feel you. I'm in my early twenties and utterly, utterly lost. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to get out of it, or if I even want to. On top of everything you've said, I feel as though I can't trust any institutions and that psychopathic criminals run the world. Nothing about the way its all set up speaks to my heart. The only to play is to try and meta game it, and you lose yourself in the process. I don't know if I can pay that cost. I'm a foot in both worlds, and it's ripping me apart.

>>18120887
I might get out just to go traveling on my own for a view years. It'll give me some time to think if I wish to return and stay in I suppose.

>>18120896
The beaucratic nature of the modern military prevents such things, but I've often thought about hypothetical scenrios in war time in which an officer over me was extremely incompetent and thus myself and the other NCO's would have to make a call to disregard direct orders to complete the mission or save our dudes

>>18117726
AAAAA WE'RE ALL FEELING THIS WHAT DO WE DO WHAT DO WE DO. THEY CAN'T CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT

>>18117923
You grandma loving boot lickers make me fucking sick

>>18120925
>The beaucratic nature of the modern military prevents such things, but I've often thought about hypothetical scenrios in war time in which an officer over me was extremely incompetent and thus myself and the other NCO's would have to make a call to disregard direct orders to complete the mission or save our dudes

That' was Napoleon's entire MO. Everything after the decapitation of the King was an unusual circumstance, one in which Napoleon was vastly more competent than pretty much anyone around him. Certainly moreso than Robespierre and the rest of the fuckup Jacobins.

So my advice to you, military Anon, is: keep on your toes. I won't elaborate, but I'm not sure how much longer the United States federal government is going to be stable. Things might get real fluid in the next few years and decades. I have my suspicions. But we may need such fellows as you, when everyone else is incompetent and unwilling to do things. I think history is about to start moving again.

A journal article from Cambridge that I'm reading spelled "Finnegans Wake" with an apostrophe.

>>18120482
>>18120538
God damn splendid analysis gentleman. It's been an honor.

>>18120948
punctuated I mean

>>18120960
Is this sarcasm?

Science is nice and all, but in the end, I think it was a bad idea. Who really needs all this stuff?

>>18121100
>he types this on an electronic device
throw it out then retard

>>18120470
>>18120482
I've nothing to do while I wait for my game to come off maintenance so lemme break this down.

Your first paragraph is based on a lot of assumptions on the nature of man. Decent observations though they are, they too are flawed in their own ways. The original tribalistic nature of man is not as cut and dry as "For the Tribe". The collectivist mindset of the tribe wasn't collectivism yet, but survival. Similar to this however was the original tribalistic sense of individualism from which leaders, heroes, and other figures of importance were formed within these tribes. In the modern day, the western thought lies primarily in individualism yet the need for a collective has not diminished. If however one were to be able to choose their collective as the internet allows, they would choose one more similar to themselves than their neighbors are because of the choice that never existed in the past. The forming of groups based on interests is also nothing new, however the identification with their interests is. I believe this is due to the weakening of the individual, with the responsibilities that come with individualism being heavy enough for the common man to wish to relinquish. Thus they seek a collective to identify with so as to release them from the burdens of being their own person. This isn't however specifically because they have grown weaker, it's that knowledge has become so widespread that simply existing within it becomes overwhelming. To whit the argument, an individual is the sum of his actions, self, and beliefs however with the convenience of modernity, actions seem insignificant and inconsequential and with the massive pools of knowledge, what we believe is but a drop in the pond. Thus, unable to make their actions meaningful and unable to reconcile their beliefs, a person cannot bear the weight of being an individual and as a cope seeks the relief of being part of a collective whilst maintaining the prevalent foundations of individualism from western ideology.
>NPC
If you are to begrudge some for othering or demonizing people, you must in turn be willing to humanize them and seek to understand. You do not have to agree and you do not have to like them, but if you are to dehumanize someone you will create more of the same "Us vs. Them" bullshit you decry.
>the empire or the nation
Genuinely contemplate what makes a collective born of one's interest any different than a collective born of one's location. While not every "interest" will be of much, let alone any, worth; there are many times in which one's interests in a collective will supersede one's loyalty to another.

>>18121103
How else could he qualify the statement but from having experience with the thing in question?

I tried streaming with an idea to polish social interaction but found myself finding very little to say and no viewers. Oh well.

>>18121103
I like my computer and lots of other stuff. I'm not saying that. But I wonder if that's a good thing, you know. I think we have gone too far in many ways. Lots of stuff seems to be pointless. Plastic yoghurt cups for example. Where do they go? Who needs 'em? They probably dump the empty cups into the ocean, as if it wasn't already dirty enough with all them ships and so on. I wanted to try whale meat the other day and they told me I can't. They said the meat is so full of bad stuff, if a human were to eat it, he would fall from his chair - dead. Now, I'm not saying all science is this bad, but - most of it is. We don't really need it, is all I'm saying. We don't need cars and phones. We have legs. What's so bad about walking? Keeps you from getting fat. Lets you enjoy the scenery. You're not supposed to sit on a chair, overtaking horses with double the speed, you know.

>>18121121
>experience it
>stop using it
Nowhere is posting about it a necessary step.

>>18121172
>muh oceans
kek

>>18121178
It was just an example.

>>18121186
Science is good because my family no longer dies of malaria or some shit, there are fewer wars, more chances for humanity to survive (they can go to space), so more chances for my descendants to survive. Science is good.

>>18121174
Until it is asked, "what's on your mind?"

Currently reading pic related

>>18120470
>>18120482
>>18121115
Your first "major realization" is not only faulty, but simply foolish. There is nothing to dictate that man cannot change. It is equally shortsighted to believe that the current state of affairs is as it was and as it always will be. If man can change to put himself into this mess, he can do it just as well to get himself out (and into another).
As for the descriptors of the offenders that plague society, do you truly believe they are of a sustainable lot? Ignoring your blatant dehumanization of them for the time being, one cannot so boldly assume that their ideology is sustainable. Their ideologies at the moment rely on the destruction of existing ones and not for a better one at that, but it's very existence relies on the foundations set in place by their predecessors and should they be left unchecked, the pillars will undoubtedly collapse leaving nothing left for their ideologies to sustain themselves with. As previously stated however, they are individualists by culture seeking collectivism. As the collectives break down, their will be no other recourse but to fit into the role of an individualist or collapse into despair. These will be the hard times created by these weak men, this is where strong men will be made. The paradoxical nature of these men however is not as cut-and-dry as it seems. Much like you and everyone else born in this godforsaken world, they are attempting to be an individual as is culturally taught. It's not a bad joke, but an inevitability.
As you said though, these ideas are but a mask. One born from the ineptitude and impotence born from an inability to adjust to or make the old way of life in the new world.
>no matter what happens in our reality
Study causality before making such a claim. One cannot say there is no possibility of something happening. It's but a matter of how and how long.
>these npcs and weak beta soibois
What exactly differentiates you and them?

>>18117903
Yes but I'll procrastinate as much as I can

>>18118045
Go for it please don't be a dumb fuck like me. I turned down 6 girls because I thought it wouldn't work, now I regret it. Do it.

>>18117014
Pussy.

>>18121191
That's the thing though: if it weren't for science, you wouldn't live in an area with malaria. You'd go like: "Oh, this place is dangerous. We should pack our stuff and go to a place that doesn't kill us." Maybe malaria is just nature's way of telling us to scram. But now people live in all kinds of weird places that are dangerous. There are too many people walking around anyway. I can't even get a seat on the bus. It shouldn't be like this. I think climate change might actually be a good thing. We have to weed some people out to make more room. And with less people, there are less cars an so on. So it's a kill-two-birds-with-one-stone kind of situation. And about that moon thing: we wouldn't have to live on the moon if it weren't for science. The earth was doing just fine. We could have gone on climbing in trees for a million years. What's so bad about dying with the planet? You'll die anyway, so what's the bother? Now things are all wrong. We live like renting nomads. Trash everywhere. And when we have enough, we ditch the place. I don't like it.

>>18120470
>>18120482
>>18121260
Your realization this time is a worthless truism. Everyone in every way is a product of their environment and you are no exception. You take this basic fact and twist it to be a "black pill" which is as equally a cancerous ideology as nihilism. You again decry the state of the world, but I ask in turn "What have you done about it?" Did you ever consider attempting to make any changes? No, you lie down your arms in defeat like a "weak beta cuck soiboi". You aren't any different in the end. History and causality will forget you the same as those you detest. They are individualists that failed to be so and thus submitted to the collective. You are an individualist that failed to be so and either denied or were rejected from the collectives. Having no identity as a result of this is the source of your despair. These black pills do not make you stronger, they're a parasite on your mind feeding you the same bullshit the others consumed with a new coat of paint. The reality of the situation is that your existence will be mediocre to the end unless you do something about it, and by denying your existence as but dust in the wind you will it to be so. The hard times come one way or another and you will be of the weak that fall and the responsibility for such will be solely on your shoulders. If you intend to further your pity party, then by all means do so, but at least have the dignity to not drag others down with you.
>Strong men create easy times
>Easy times creates weak men
>Weak men create hard times
>Hard times create strong men
It's as true now as it was then. You simply cannot live with the reality that you are the weak.
Also 4chan is my tribe. Anonymous is my brother. He who shitposts with me shall be my brother. To this end I will fight and die for Anon, but unlike the masses you detest so much, I will never cease to be myself, even in anonymity.
Suck a cock you whiny faggot.

>>18118306
Im just existing, not living.

>>18121221
It never comes to that if they stop using it when they realise it's bad

>>18121312
What? People were dying from plagues all the time before science

>>18121441
But that was a good thing. In a way, that was nature saying "Listen, you need to slow down. There are too many of you". Now we got antidotes and stuff and everybody lives, no matter what. I'd say: Don't tussle with nature. It's always sad when someone dies, but I think, in the end, we're better off for it.

>>18121488
>"Listen, you need to slow down. There are too many of you"
No it fucking wasn't. That was a plague that happened to be better at killing than humans were at surviving. Diseases can make entire species go extinct. It's not about numbers.

>>18121323
Holy based.

https://youtu.be/P7bWCsAHB4Y

>>18121505
Was the plague really going to kill all people? I think at some point it would have gone like "All right, that's enough for now. You can keep living." Like, how no virus can kill all people. Isn't that a thing? We're still around, after all. Someone should take a look at the plague and figure out if it was actually a bad thing. What about the atomic bomb then? Isn't that a problem? Or rockets in general. It was bad enough when we had only rocks. Why invent those? See, that's the problem with science: it goes on and on and never stops. Cure the plague, fine. But leave AIDS alone, or some other disease. Invent the TV, but the internet - put it away, don't do it.

>>18121576
>I think at some point it would have gone like "All right, that's enough for now. You can keep living."
NO
>how no virus can kill all people
It can if it's strong enough
>We're still around, after all
Thank science.
>What about the atomic bomb then? Isn't that a problem?
Yes, but thanks to that we haven't had another world war, have developed nuclear technology, and have anime.
>It was bad enough when we had only rocks
Says who
>Why invent those?
To keep living.
>See, that's the problem with science
Don't answer your own retarded rhetorical questions.
>it goes on and on and never stops
Just like life. Just like the universe. This is a problem how, exactly?
>Cure the plague, fine. But leave AIDS alone
Based, fuck the gays.
>Invent the TV, but the internet
Yes, lets pic and choose our understandings of physics.
Sounds to me like you have more of a problem with reality than science. Might want to get that checked out.

>>18121576
It's not sentient you retard

>>18121605
But the plague didn't kill us. And there were no scientists around in those days. Most of human history worked just fine without them. How come those hundred thousand years worked out? Suddenly, without science, everything dies. I don't buy it. I think that's just some scientists making themselves seem important. All I'm saying is that we don't need space ships. We don't need 'em. A bicycle is enough. We don't need drop bombs on other people. We don't need wars to get so big. Everything is getting bigger now. For what? I don't think the atom bomb solves our problems. I think things are much worse because of it. After the next war, there will be no next war. Three hundred years ago, things were perfect from a science standpoint. If you wanted to read in the dark, you had to put on a candle. Everyone get's that. Now, if I want to read a book in the dark, I turn on my Ipad. I don't get technology. I'm surrounded by stuff I don't understand and cannot fix. If I loose my phone, I'm like a turtle lying on it's back. Imagine being inside a space ship. This is no place for human beings. We're supposed to sit under a tree.

1) 25, live at home. Studies have been a mess. exhausted. architure grad whose portfoliio got corupted and lost. studied software eng only for covid to hit and multiple tutors to resign leaving alot of unhappy -8k students.
currently i'm doing Property valuation at a local Uni but failed a course and not sure I'll pass.
Basically, I just want to start full time work as soon as in something thats not minimum wage. I'm so done with studing right now. Maybe theres a short course or trade intern that makes my Arch degree not a complete waste.


2) Theres one 9/10 close friendist girl I've always and only causally dm'ed for years and want to date.
However she never msgs first and doesn't put effort back majority of time msg's turned from daily---> weekly---> Monthly ---> once every 2-3 months
She claims she is either bi or Asexual and as afar as I know not dated anyone and has declined me in the past(4yrs ago). I'm getting to the point of stopping atempts completely and it's breaking my heart.
Still trying to work out an appropriate confrontation to the whole thing especially while maintaining some sense of a friendship.

It's not too late and I just want to make it In this clown world bros, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0NkdwRYQO8
Thanks for reading my rant about human normie problems. Faggots

>>18121608
how can you be so sure about that?

why do you guys only read "I'm 20 years old and I don't know my calling" tier shit?

>>18120768
>Are you so fucking enlightened that you somehow feel you're divorced from the reality you occupy?
unironically yes.

>>18121809
which books are like that?

>>18121832
dostoevsky, mishima, nietzsche, jung, the likes.

>>18121840
whats that wrong with read these books?

I don’t really see a good future for myself anymore.

enochian is a very interesting language

>>18121809
What else is there?

>>18121869
they're all essentially writers for very young people (which isn't necessarily bad, mind you). really, nietzsche just doesn't have any appeal past the age of 30 and the only reason they do is because his "successors" either don't understand nietzsche or are manchildren themselves (like foucault). dostoevsky fits in a somewhat more broad context but his themes still appeal moreso to a naive confused reader rather than a decisive one.

>>18121897
odyssey and the iliad of course.

>>18121903
what writters/books are for more mature people according to you?

>>18121488
>muh nature
Humans are nature. I am nature. And I want my genes to continue to exist. You're a dumb sophist and I hope your genes will cease to exist

>>18121576
>how no virus can kill all people. Isn't that a thing? We're still around, after all.
No, that's just sampling bias. We haven't met a virus which is entirely lethal on a global scale. That doesn't mean that such a virus is impossible. It's like saying a nuclear holocaust is impossible because we've only set off isolated nuclear explosions. A nuclear holocaust, whether from human bombs or the sun's expansion, is inevitable.

i bought a case of monster ginger brew cuz i bought one once and it was good, but after drinking this crap every day for a week, i am so sick of it

>>18121909
Isn't that the same thing as those other books?

>>18121553
>still posting vw in the 2021
just wanted share this vapor adjacent jam w/u senpai

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nw02LaYvuMQ

>>18117476
Don’t you have some rocks to kick, Dr. Johnson?

Why am I always confused? Nothing ever makes sense to me. I have too many options. If youre afraid if being too powerful, that means you are currently very weak.

>>18122203
Just know what drives you.

I realized recently the extent of my life has grown to a point that penetrates the chasm of darkness within my own soul. A sad reflection of what I let come to be and a dull reminder of my own loneliness. All I can do is resist insanity for having been alone so long, there is no longer anything to look forward to. Reality has become a concept of shapes and angles that transfigure before me to behold some type of truth, perhaps this is my last attempt at finding meaning in a life I had abandoned due to despair and desolation taunting my soul in each moment I spent with others.

>>18117540
>this incessant need to pay for rent and groceries and debts for cars and insurance and phone bills and student loan debt just all piles into this driving force of needing to go get a job, sitting down and shutting up, and being a cog in a machine
My entire life I’ve been pushed towards what you’ve described above, as if that’s the peaks of my humanity, and a situation to be increasingly grateful of. At first I got here and thought they were insane, but it’s sad to realize they were actually right.

>>18117613
I’m not sure if this resonates with you, but what you’ve said makes perfect sense to why synthwave tracks seem fit perfectly while viewing the urban cityscape.

>>18117540
>lefty late stage capitalism guy
>this driving force of needing to go get a job is all this consumer shit i enjoy
if u think all that stuff is a "driving force to get a job" try living in a gulag, being worked to death is a hell of a driving force!

I just figured out something that I should have figured out a long time ago. Alas it might be too late.

I must break out of nihilism. But I don't know how.

>>18118195
Your mindset is set to one of scarcity. You perceive any girl showing you affection as the only girl who will ever do so and thus latch on, because why would you let the one girl who will do that go?

You need to shift your mindset to one of abundance, reject the idea that she is the only one who will show interest in you because it’s simply not true. The abundance mindset is based on the idea that not every woman will show you that interest, but that they are everywhere. The resource is not in scarcity, it’s in abundance. Simple supply and demand. You currently see the supply of women interested in you as barely above zero, thus raising the demand. Realize the supply is actually far bigger, and your demand will decrease.

And don’t say “well I’m unlovable she might be the only one”. She isn’t, it’s numerically impossible. That attitude of “woe is me” is specifically driving women away from you. When they say you have to love yourself before someone else can love you, it’s true. That kind of mental attitude towards yourself exudes confidence, all you have to do then is not be an asshole about it.

>>18119316
Why is it superiority over your peers that gives you reason to live?

>>18117851
Homoerotica general

eggs are beautiful and delicious

>>18117014
It’s a scary moment when you realize Greed is truly the worst and most terrifying of the seven deadly sins. It seems the most innocent, until you realize by definition it’s limitless and exponential. The proof is in reality, and I fear nothing will change, because it’s already too late. At this point all I can do is to watch the world burn, knowing we did not deserve a gift such as this. Idly I’ll make my way doing what I can against the inexorable tide, because anything less would be disrespectful.

the chinese population declined for the first time since records started being kept in 1949. ccp in denial, but the census data leaked.

>>18122006
Yeah, but, wouldn't the world be safer without airplanes and ships then? I mean, it's too late now, anyway. But it seems like world wide travel would be a real problem with diseases. Science creates airplanes - suddenly the plague runs amok across the globe. If we were all stuck in our little place, diseases wouldn't go around so fast.

>>18121667
Are you Italian?

I tried to think that im melancholic but i've been choleric all this time.

>>18122440
So? They have lots of people already

>>18121172
>I wanted to try whale meat the other day
Edgelord cunt.

My boyfriend reads and writes a lot. He uses this board too, and he helps me find books to read. I feel really bad frustrating him some times because i am dyslexic, And I feel like it is frustrating for him because sometimes I dont understand a lot of words or stuff he says, but he is really patient. Sometimes i think he gets frustrated though because I ask him for help reading stuff. The other night i kept confusing the words, naive and vain, but more specifically naivety and vanity. It’s really confusing, and for a few minutes he didn’t know what i was talking about? But I don’t know. I dont know how to get much better at reading, i read some of the Bible and some other books, and things like that. I like to read articles more because its not as intimidating like a lot of papers are, like how a book has a ton of paper in it and I have to keep track of everything in it for a long time. I have an ok attentian span and I can focus for awhile but It’s so hard to keep track of what the text is saying. And its especially so hard if it’s someone who uses fancy writing, or prose I think. I don’t know. I’m just really frustrated with it, cause I want my boyfriend to think i am smart and able to do something basic like reading. But its so hard! And I’m so insecure when I ask him to help me with a stupid thing like telling words apart when im just trying to type or write. I feel like an idiot compared to him. I’m not even stupid. I just feel so stupid because I have to write so stupidly and ask someone who spends all his time reading and writing stuff, for fun, to show me the difference of two stupid stupid words. I just dont wish to be a failure in his eyes. I wish i could keep up with him when he talks a lot of big words. He writes me really funny and cute stories to entertain myself with and i have to reread them over and over which is fun but it’s because it’s hard! but the stores are good practice. I’ll figure it out!

>>18121172
>You're not supposed to sit on a chair, overtaking horses with double the speed, you know.

says who ?

>>18122804
are you a boy or a girl?
if boy please send pictures

>>18122804
Anon, I'm sure there are things you are much better at compared to your boyfriend and I think it's really cute that you try so hard to impress him. If the relationship is healthy, you shouldn't feel too bad about him helping you with your disability. Shit, I dated a girl who was schizophrenic. Dyslexia is a walk in the park.

>>18122804
are you single?

>>18123291
We don't come shooting out of our mum in a little ferrari. The doctor has to pull us out by our head. It takes us years before we can walk around. This is what we are built for. Walking and running. Riding horse - I don't think that's right either. If we were meant to ride on horses, we wouldn't need saddles. And our bums wouldn't hurt. How come my back hurt when I sit in a car for a while? It's not meant to be.

>>18123356
you wear clothes, don't you?

>>18123356
yes ooga booga man hit rock with other rock this is life

I don’t really understand hobbies. People talk about them as if they’re oh so important but from where I’m standing, it sure seems like what makes them hobbies is that they’re pretty much not important. I don’t really have any talents or passions besides reading and writing personally so I guess it’s possible I’m just a boring person or I haven’t found my thing yet (unlikely at my age I think) but even if I weren’t and I did, I still don’t think I’d get it.

>>18123454
oh no i've just realised holding a rock for too long would hurt your hands, we're not designed for rocks either I guess

>>18123299
Thanks. You are right. I like to paint i make him paintings. Its good to see shapes and colors, they make a lot of sense. I don’t think he thinks I am stupid because he calls me smart at other stuff besides reading and he calls himself proud of me when I read and says I do good. One day i want to make a childrens book with him that he writes in and I did the paintings for. Author and illustrator. Pretty words. Thanks for telling me what you told me, it’s really kind. I hope you have a good day and take good good good care of yourself. You seem like you have a really nice heart. A really warm and nice heart. Thank you again.

>>18123461
Or maybe your hobbies are reading and writing you fucking idiot. The only reason something is deemed a hobby is because it doesn't make money, at that point it becomes a profession or business. The term hobby is a commodification of human activities outside the business world. People define themselves by hobbies because the system wishes them to consume and define their uniqueness by the products consumed and not by the social relations one holds.

>>18123511
I never said they weren’t you illiterate.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m done here. Time to clock out.

>>18123436
See, with clothes it's different. I wear clothes every day and they've never hurt me. Clothes are fine. But a car is more like an exotic shoe. The kind they wore in china a couple hundred years ago. Their foots turned into weird meat clumps after a while. It really was torture. That's why only women wore them. The men were all like "Thank you very much, but I'll stick to my sandals". Women could live without their foots back then, seems like. Anyhow, my point was that the human mind can take things too far. Shoes are fine, but with these chinese shoes, the mind went overboard. The same with cars and planes and ships. For every thing there is the right amount. If you go over that, it turns bad.

>>18123522
It was heavily implied by your surrounding statements that you did not believe you had any hobbies, first my the fact that you don't 'understand' them and second by your listing of lack of 'talent' and 'passion', the fact that you 'haven't found your thing yet'. All this would lead a reasonable person to believe that you had not yet found your 'hobby'. But it makes me sad that the insult is what you focused on and not the discussion of the nature of hobbies. I suppose that's my fault. Sorry anon for being so brash.

>>18117489
>reading dominic cummings blog
Why would you do something like that to yourself? Surely, you deserve better.

Got my diagnosis of covert narcissism yesterday.
It explains why I have always been unable to form atttachments, and I dont know how to feel. I dont want to be the way I am. I intend to rail against it so that I may love and be loved.
Is there still time by 22 before neuroplasticity dries up?

If you didn’t really read until you were say, 25 but then all of the sudden you read voraciously and love it, is it possible that you don’t actually love reading?

in 2017 life was going pretty good, i had a group of friends and was happy with what I was doing. for some reason I had some weird ego and that I needed to push away those friends and then became depressed in my sour mind and left that take over me.

Ended up becoming trapped in my deluded world and become a NEET and wasted the next 3 years (1210 days to be exact).

>>18123583
The person you are is an amalgamation of decisions over a period of time. Every action is a vote to who you are. A life of 25 years not reading is quite a few votes, but if one were to start reading after that a growing minority would appear. But your question was of love. One can fall in love at any time with any thing, anon.

>>18123597
I’ve heard once that if you have discovered your “thing” by the time you’re 25, then whatever you think is your “thing” after 25 is probably not actually your “thing”. If we consider authors for example. There are many who found success writing at an old age but I can’t think of many who didn’t read and write quite a lot from a young age. It seems true, doesn’t it?

since I started reading about stoicism, I look at those oblivious of their evil deeds and those complicit with pity.

>be me
>MtF
>in a most female server
>Only two people know I'm an MtF, the rest of them think I'm cis
>private chat for the females of the server
>complaining about MtFs
>nervoussweating.png
>One of them says they hate transgirls because they're misogynistic, says she hates the way they act excessively submissive and cutesy, says she hates how most of them want to be trad and how they overall act like a very sexist sterotypical version of women that isn't accurate
>most of them agree
>outside of girl chat they all sing praises of the bravery of MtF's and such, they're true women and they support them blah blah blah
>There's a known MtF and they shower her with praise a lot

I can't trust women honestly. I'm so sick of this back biting shit. Why do so many women say they support trans people just to shit talk us when our backs are turned? Drives me fucking insane. Remember kids, it's misogynistic to imply any women act submissive at any point, there are literally no submissive women anywhere and there have never been in all of history. Also remember that staying at home with a husband who loves you because you want to means you hate women and think we should return to a time where women have no rights.

FUCK. Shit pisses me off. The only reason they treat me nice is because they don't know I'm an MtF, it's all fucking fake. But remember, I can't say this because that makes me sexist. It's sexist to point out how often this happens. Remember, pointing out things that happen means you hate all women.

>>18122488
Uh, slightly worried you think the black plague was mostly aeroplane travel.

>>18123683
Touch grass.

>>18117014
>murakami MCs display the madonna-whore complex and struggle with loving the madonna
>I relate to these characters extremely and only just realized that being unable to lust after my oneitis is abnormal
>I learned of a deviancy I have because of the funny Japanese slice of life book
thanks haruki, now I know to stop talking about how "men can't have sex with those they love because they feel like they're defiling them" since NO ONE THOUGHT TO TELL ME THAT'S NOT A UNIVERSAL EXPERIENCE

>>18123575
Not him, but it's going to be mostly ratting out Boris for a while, so for once it's almost worth reading.

>>18123575
well I had a place on the UCL interdisciplinary course (that I haven't accepted) and I heard that cummings was a proponent of transdisciplinarity or what he calls the 'odyssean education' so I gave his essay a look

>>18118195
Don't. Feelings make things interesting. Worth seeing them through even if you make yourself look like a fool.

>>18123651
I read when I was very young, but the majority of my teens and 20s were spent playing video games and drinking heavily with friends. After 25 I started reading more and I became a lawyer. I'm 30 now and a different person than I was regarding my actions, even if the nature of who I am is still very much the same.

If you want to use 25 as an excuse to comfort yourself, go for it, just know that you are continually redefining yourself with everything you do, even if you aren't actively trying to do so.

>>18118797
>they kind of figure out who they are by the time they're like 22
You're off by a decade or two. Don't worry about it.

>>18123683

Why do you think you are trans?

>>18123777
Ok. 12.

>>18121231
Any good? Got it sat on my shelf

>>18117828
>if you think its scribbles then its not for you.
I didn't mean it in a derogatory way, sorry.
> join an alt-right political club.
lol might do that, though there are no good dissedent movements where I live.
>>18120938
Really is tiring...
>>18122252
Oh yeah, when I listen to them (which I do less and less; as a substitution I listen classical music) I always get that feeling.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTaLnGkTVLw&t=105

>>18118828
damn I do the same brother

>>18118232
Extremely based, I love Gondola too