/lit/ - Literature

/wg/, I'm paralyzed by perfectionism. This scene is giving me no end to trouble.

basically, when I'm writing is a pov character's backstory presented in 4 scenes. For some background, the character in question has an anxiety disorder so bad that when she has panic attacks it basically flips the muscular inhibition switch and she taps into the kind of hysterical strength that lets a mother lift a car off her child

>the first scene shows a her as a little girl having a panic attack while her dad calms her down by talking to her about superheroes. The scene is meant to show the ideals she grew up with and how she saw her father as her hero
>the second cuts to a few months later, her mother is drinking in silence while watching an old news report about how her father was killed at a protest. The girl slips out unnoticed, dresses up in a home made superhero costume and basically creeps around until she comes across some teenage carjackers. When she tries to confront them she freezes up and one of the teens beats the shit out of her
>the third scene starts by showing how she froze up in court when she was called up as a witness and refused to testify against the teen, after which she gave up on her dream of being a hero and threw out all her comics. However, a few months later the same group of teenagers jump her and chase her down an alleyway. she hides inside an old refrigerator and then falls through the back of it into another world

the fourth scene is what's giving me trouble. I know certain things I want to happen in it, but I'm not sure how to arrange them. basically, it cuts to her being introduced to a group of other displaced humans in the other world after being rescued by an older boy. At some point she breaks the boy's arm or fingers by accident. ultimately, the scene leads to her having a panic attack. the boy, noticing her green lantern shirt tries to calm her down by talking to her superheroes, with the scene ending on him getting her to recite the green lantern oath. It's kind of tricky to write this naturally though because the boy in question at this point in time would be far more out of his element than some other characters present would have been. He'd only recently gone from looking up to a different older boy to realizing that said boy was a scumbag and he wouldn't feel like he should be mentoring anyone. In contrast, there are older more emotionally supportive people present who could help her

another faggot anime OP

>>18021589
>Any progress on your novels?
Yes, I'm done now. I was never going to become the next Faulkner, the next Nabokov or the next Joyce, but I hid behind the language barrier to avoid criticism for months, maintaining an illusion that was fun to live in while it lasted.
This will be my final post on /lit/. I've been humiliated and exposed as a fraud. My writing is pretentious, infantile, banal drivel. My observations are dull, my language grade school level.
My tenses are mixed up, I use colloquialisms, ellipses and onomatopoeia. I mix tired and trite idioms together to obfuscate their unoriginality with a veneer of irony.
I was never cut out for writing. I began writing my "book" on January 6th. Since then I've produced 72 thousand words for it. These words are a tide of garbage without value, without insight, without form. The themes of time, space, infinity, memory and pointless duelling are not present in my work. It was never real writing, it was anime and weebshit. Look how many words I wrote, because apparently literature is bodybuilding and just aimlessly typing will somehow improve my writing. I don't even know what genre it is that I'm writing. Is it autofiction? A comedy? A picaresque?
Regardless, I have failed. I have put down my pen. Never again will my fingers click-clack across the keyboard. No more outlines, no more characters. Goodbye.

>incomprehensible monsters with dark sublimity
Is there any way to better Lovecraft in weird fiction?

>>18021913
Thanks for this. Godspeed anon.

>>18021947
You too!

>>18021953
May I read your novel? Maybe post a burn after reading text URL

Great start to a new thread

>>18021625
Did you think reposting it would magically change everyone's mind?

Rate my poem desu

>Sylvia’s Ghost

You do not do,
You do not do,
What daddy said,
Goo-goo-ga-choo,
He’s dead,
Deader than a nazi officer,
Deader than the Jews in Dachau,
To worms he’s fed,
On his uniform’s collar was fur,
He commanded a Panzer that’s gone now,
They piled up the prisoner shoe,
Upon another, o how
It looked, a bundle of clothing,
This poem is in closing,
I feel dirty and in need of hosing.
The Jew was a poor thing.

>>18022091
I don't really know poetry, but I didn't like it.

>>18022161
Oh gosh darn, what do you read anon? Web novels and manga and extremist manifestos?

>>18021984
How good is your Finnish?

>>18022219
*smacks lips* non existent

>>18022241
Then I will continue to hide behind the language barrier. If ever I'm published and my books is translated, then pigs will fly also.

>>18022278
Have you read the Kalevala? I should read it... any translation suggestions??

>>18022091
based anti-semitic poem

rate this section from my upcoming novel (stay tuned for it)

Love Letter to H
To my divine substance; you are always there for me. It was love from the beginniing. I can't forget you and do not want to. You taught me what happiness is. You put me under your spell. My powerful enchantress. Smash me into submission with your 2000 pound hammer of bliss. You shower me in delights that nothing else can. You are majestic and elegant like a horse.No woman compares to the happiness you bestow. You're more caring than a mother. More loving than a wife. More seductive than a mistress. You're sacred. You're my reason to live. Permeate my body. Flow through my heart directly into my brain. Exterminate sorrow from my mind. I will never leave you. I will never betray you. I want you in my arms when I die.

>>18022091
kek

>>18022647
That’s gonna be a cringe from me, dog.

>>18022423
I have. You could try this.

https://www.sacred-texts.com/neu/kveng/index.htm

>>18022760
how do i make it better. It's supposed to be written by a junkie before he intentionally OD's

>>18022800
I don’t know, but I think longer sentences versus the short and repetitive “you” sentences may help. I don’t read any romantic literature, but instead of feeling for this guy I was made really uncomfortable instead

>>18022091
Not bad, beats the Tay Bridge Disaster by a cunt hair

Any of you going to try new Kindle Vella? It's Amazon's response to Wattpad, Royal Road, and other serialization sites
> inb4 Bezos bad

Amazon is launching Kindle Vella, a new KDP self-publishing format, aimed at mobile readers that will allow authors to publish short serialized fiction that can be read on smartphones and mobile devices by using the Kindle iOS app. The service will begin accepting submissions today for publication sometime within the next few months.

The Kindle Vella service is designed to publish serialized 600 to 5,000 word short fiction. Through the service, initial story episodes will be free. After reading the initial free episodes, readers will be able to buy tokens that can be used to unlock later episodes of the stories they wish to follow. The price of the tokens, according to an Amazon spokesperson, will be announced at a later date. Authors will receive 50% of the token price.

In other Vella features, readers will be able to highlight their favorite stories using a "thumbs Up," or "Faves" icons that will also be used to feature those stories on lists in the Kindle Vella store. Authors will be able to submit stories to the Kindle Vella service using Amazon’s usual KDP uploading service.

The new serialized Kindle Vella story format, which is designed to be read using the Kindle iOS app, is different and is offered separately from content designed for the Kindle digital reader. More information on the new Kindle Vella service will be announced in the coming months.


https://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/by-topic/digital/content-and-e-books/article/86072-amazon-debuts-self-published-kindle-vella-story-format-for-ios-devices.html

>>18023926
sounds retarded
>designed to publish serialized 600 to 5,000 word short fiction
>readers will be able to buy tokens that can be used to unlock later episodes of the stories they wish to follow
who would pay for individual chapters, are they like 10 cents each? they'd have to be
and as an author how would this realistically help you? much better to sell an entire book for a couple bucks rather than try and jew people chapter by chapter. because either the price point will dissuade people from the chapter by chapter jewing, or a good percentage of readers will naturally drop off your story and you'd earn less money than if they just spent a couple bucks on your book.

>>18024255
I think it’s supposed to be the addictive nature of serialisation. Crime and Punishment began that way.

How did you decide what type of stories you want to write?

>>18024288
I walk my dog and then an image will strike me; when home, I’ll then write it out.

>>18024288
You don't decide or choose what you want. You want what you want and that's the way the cookie crumbles.

>>18024296
>and that's why I write dog turds

>>18024255
>>18023926
>The price of the tokens, according to an Amazon spokesperson, will be announced at a later date. Authors will receive 50% of the token price.

>>18024299
Precisely, anon, precisely.

How do you write when you feel no motivation for life.

>>18024321
go on /lit, see the absolute dogshit the anime writers put out, be inspired because I'm so much better than them anyways

works for me

>>18024321
I go for a walk or do a reading in front of a crowd. Try to put yourself out there.

>>18024298
What if you don’t know what you want? I ask because I like many types of stories from dramas to romance to tragedies and so on so I don’t really know what I want to hone in on.

>>18024265
and any number of others. dickens, etc. but that was back when magazines were new and trendy. there is literally an entire internets worth of free shit to read. let me tell you something, as an RR author, you have significant dropoff from your first chapters to your later ones. its just the way it is. if the pricepoints are similar, i.e. cents for a chapter vs a couple dollars for a book, as an author you'd rather sell the book. because it creates buy in from your reader - they already bought the book may as well read it - and you get more money.
As far as the first chapter/couple pages being free? That feature already exists on amazon.

>>18024339
Why should you define your writing through genre? The important thing is to just tell the story you want to tell.

>>18024339
then maybe you shouldn't write

>>18024364
I suppose I think it’s just helpful in developing a clear vision for a story and it seems to me that authors tend to hone in on one or the other.

>>18024389
> you don’t know that the only thing you want to read or write is fantasy and fantasy alone so therefore you can’t write
Do you even write?

entered my first ever short story into a big contest let's see if I win

>>18024359
I’m not sure then, don’t some writers enjoy writing in serial format? Surely there’s also an element of readers being able to influence the ending and there’s more fan service. Stop thinking in mere material gain.

>>18024321
write about feeling no motivation for life
>tfw many of my short stories share the same theme

>>18024393
I guess you just don't have a story to tell then. That's okay anon.
>>18024402
I'll learn what happened to my frog story next month. I'm nervous bros.

unironically asking, what are some light novels with good story and/or writing?

>>18024432
What’s the difference between a novel and a light novel

>>18024411
>Stop thinking in mere material gain
but that's what amazon is focusing on. that's their new addition to the whole thing. jewing readers. there are already plenty of free sites for serialized content.

>>18024441
A light novel is written without complex kanji

>>18024449
Okay, uh

>>18024397
Course I do, anon, and more importantly, I know what I want to write and why. Writing is cathartic; it lets me explore my inner voice, my thoughts, my views, and let off frustrations in a fantasy world where things go exactly as I the author have planned them to do. Plus it's entertaining to myself and to others, and gratifying to receive accolades from people whom I have successfully entertained. As such I have zero problems at all knowing what to write. Writing is a joy to me, not a chore; I only wish I had not a care in the world so I could, I dunno, sip pina coladas by a beach somewhere in the arms of a gorgeous bikini babe and write the whole day long, forever.

Hence the question I have for you is, do you know why you want to write, and what you want to write? I submit that you don't know the answers to either or both, and as such aren't really in the right frame of mind for output. You're only going to be dragging your feet, practically forcing yourself to do something that you don't really know why you want to do, and probably something you're not naturally good at, and therefore something you probably innately, subconsciously, dislike doing.

I suggest you think long and hard about why you want to subject yourself to this kind of self-inflicted mental torture before you continue.

TLDR; if you aren't already bursting at the seams to tell a story, that's a big sign that maybe you shouldn't write.

>>18024468
You'd appreciate it if you were a young person in Japan who was still learning.

Recently I was reading through Nabokov's Lectures on Literature, and at the end of his chapter about Jane Austin, he has a passage that says:
>"A writer devoid of talent cannot develop a literary style of any worth; at best it will be an artificial mechanism deliberately set together and devoid of any divine spark."
And it hit me that out of all the books I've read about writing (and about storytelling in general), they all seem to stress that a writer must have natural, innate talent–and it is only by perfecting this natural talent with practice, that a good story can be told. So, if you don't have any talent, what's the point? Your work is going to be soulless and bland, no matter how technically proficient you are in writing. How do you know if you have the spark?

I feel like you can see this especially clearly in Harold Bloom's work; he wrote one original novel in his lifetime (The Flight to Lucifer), and it was absolute garbage. He loved literature, dedicated his whole life to studying it, and yet he couldn't produce a decent work of fiction to save his life. He didn't have the spark. Maybe that's why so many academics resign themselves to critiquing and discussing literature instead of writing it–they can't. I'm not boasting or anything, I'm starting to feel like I don't have any discernible talent. I've loved books my whole life and now I am facing the possibility that I will never be able to write a good one myself.

>>18024489
There's no such thing as talent. There's only effort.

>>18024489
>I'm starting to feel like I don't have any discernible talent. I've loved books my whole life and now I am facing the possibility that I will never be able to write a good one myself
Nothing wrong with that. More power to you in fact for achieving a deeper sense of self-awareness than 99.9% of wannabes on the Interwebs.

>Nabokov on Austen
Fuck off, paedophile.

>>18024489
I know that feel, anon. I don’t think my poems or stories will be remembered and I hold no candle up to Ye Literary Gods (Cormac PBUH, Joyce, Beckett, Dante, Pound). May as well become an academic, right?

>>18024489
Sucks
You'll have to be content with being mediocre.

>>18024502
Pleb.

>>18024498
How’s that fake it til you make it working for you, peon?

>>18024432
Well, you can check translated LNs on Bakatsuki. Because at least that place has professional translators.
Or you can take a chance with novelupdates that has a lot more choice, but some translators are doubtful and a lot of stories are unfinished. Although even there I found a couple of stories I liked,

>>18024524
Pseud.

>>18024498
yeah true. im pretty talented. probably the most talented. but no one's ever heard of me cause im too busy jacking off and playing call of duty all day instead of writing.

>>18024536
I bet you haven’t even studied lit at a college level, I can smell it buddy. And when you did take English as a kid, you spoke about Stephen King or Harry Potter.

>>18024489
Not everyone's born with that spark. If you put the effort into developing and nurturing talent, it can come that way too. Sure though, some just can't hack it naturally. Just like some naturally talented people aren't cut out for hard work to make something of themselves.

>>18024572
You know I’m the Hoochie Coochie majne

>>18024431
Wow. /wg/ is so helpful.

>>18024476
Yes my motivations are similar to yours, I just don’t love fantasy or any one specific genre. I don’t need to go into my catharsis of writing or why I write for you. I don’t know why I’m explaining myself to you at all anyway. None of this is helpful. Rarely are these threads helpful. They are garbage desu. All of you are here more to be gatekeepers than writers or critics it seems. It was a simple question that no one answered and which I now realize will go unanswered.

In the night I spent alone,
I had nowhere to go.
Princess, the light belonged to you.
Not the feeble.
Not the monsters that lurked deep in the woods.

I may be a prince made in God's image,
but I merely a curse
for the citizens around.
My soul caused this land to become worse.
Poisoning my people away from being profound.
I hid and waited
In the gardens of the hated.
Feeling at peace at this ground stated.
Sometimes noticed a soul of beauty
That disappeared in my glimpses.

Those nights disappeared as you arrived with your bootie.
You made my saddened heart fall into eclipses.
The rarity of love I thought to never earn.
The kind of joy I was fated to scorn.
At times, you seemed to lifted up my curse
as we travel together and rehearse.

On the day of our marriage,
you held my frail hands with a great sense of courage.
"Promise me darling to never let go."
Those words stung me harder than any foe.

We slept together warmly in our bed.
Every morning, you were always ahead.
I woke up early in the night to find you missing.

On your bedside, I saw nothing but claw marks and blue blood.
I spent all night crying and cursing.
God revealed himself in a hood.
He pointed and said the princess was gone because of a demonic monster.
Dear, forgive this darling as he tries to become the bigger monster.

>>18024554
Like I said... P S E U D

Is violence born out of boredom a good framing for a story?

>>18024489
Nabokov also thought Dostoevsky was garbage and thought his (at the time) untranslated Russian novels were better than his English so maybe Nabokov said some things which were retarded sometimes.

>>18024622
Worked in The Stranger

>>18024588
> It was a simple question that no one answered and which I now realize will go unanswered
Here was your question
>What if you don’t know what you want?
Then, obviously, you're not going to write shit because the little hamster in your hamster wheel is too busy jerking off or smoking weed or doing fuckall. If you don't know what you want, you don't know what you're going to write. You have no message, no spark. Thus nothing will be borne because you are a barren, empty field.
>All of you are here more to be gatekeepers
the only gatekeeper here is you. fix yourself.

Kind of obsessed with the idea of leaving notebooks of my stories in random places, benches, libraries, for people to find and read. Mostly because I wish I could find something like that.

>>18024625
Oh damn, Camus is my muse come to think of it.

>>18024489
The tough to swallow truth is that a lot of what constitutes a great book or a great author, is plucked by the author out of the aether of circumstance and fate. This is the case with all art. Often times, truly great authors don’t realize that what they’re writing is going to be great. It just somehow ends up that way. It’s a product of the swirling confluence of time, place, person, and so much more.

>>18024631
Nice greentext but you can try reading the whole question. It wasn’t about not knowing what to write in a totally open sense but rather narrowing down to a type of focus. I know you fancy yourself as some sort of authority here but your replies are not only not helpful but deliberately ignorant, even dumb.

>>18024662
Don’t bother. The “people” here are without education and very much the dumbest lowly things you’ll ever meet.

>>18024662
>It wasn’t about not knowing what to write in a totally open sense but rather narrowing down to a type of focus
It wasn't about any of that, you were just sperging

And I repeat what I said earlier: if you don't know, maybe this writing gig ain't for you.

>>18024631
Don't bother, I won't either.

>>18024662
I can't write your book for you. You either have a message or you don't. You either know what you want to do or you don't. Here's some practical advice Read more books.

>>18024713
>writing gig
It’s a calling, you philistine.

>>18024597
What do you guys think of my poem?
*nights

*fell
*I noticed

*travelled
*rehearsed

Do I do it anons?

>>18024498
>>18024536
PFFFTTT AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I wrote on the level of a college student by the time I was in sixth grade, just by reading basic shit like Harry Pooter and Narnia. YOU are the fucking pseud for thinking that talent doesn't exist. As part of my job, I have to review college essays, and I can safely say that talent does exist, and most people do not have it in any form.

Those with talent who never work hard are NGMI, yes, but those without talent who work hard are still NGMI and they can't do anything about it.

Nice aphorism, though. Maybe you'd want to hang a cross-stitch picture of it in your kitchen.

>>18024778
Based precocious anon

>>18024778
>Those with talent who never work hard are NGMI, yes, but those without talent who work hard are still NGMI and they can't do anything about it.
I agree, actually, so I don't know why you tagged me (18024536)

>>18024814
We don't have temporary id tags for anons.

>>18024738
As if that’s what I asked for...

>>18024852
>hoo boy here we go again
No, let's not, I'm actually writing now anon.

When do you think you're allowed to call yourself a writer?

>>18024901
Think of it like being a car mechanic. You would not call someone a car mechanic if they screwed up more than 5% of the time when fixing a car.

If your writing is mostly error free, you can call yourself a writer.

>>18024853
How old are you, mid to late teens? This is what you asked
>I ask because I like many types of stories from dramas to romance to tragedies and so on so I don’t really know what I want to hone in on.
You may as well have gone to an ice cream store, gotten in front of the counter and said:
>Hey Mr. Ice Cream Man, what kind of ice cream should I get? I like all kinds. Vanilla, chocolate, rocky road, mint chocolate chip, etc. etc. Boy oh boy I loves ice cream.
Do you want me to recommend you a scoop of ice cream? Fine. You should write a horror novel with a romance subplot. You fucking numpty.

>>18024947
You can be an actor and still be a bad actor.

>>18024961
Bad acting is not objective. A grammar mistake is objectively incorrect, unless you intentionally broke from the standard for artistic reasons.

>>18024947
What does error free mean with regards to writing? Not all famous authors have perfect grammar

>>18024953
>You may as well have gone to an ice cream store, gotten in front of the counter and said:
>>Hey Mr. Ice Cream Man, what kind of ice cream should I get? I like all kinds. Vanilla, chocolate, rocky road, mint chocolate chip, etc. etc. Boy oh boy I loves ice cream.
No, it’s more like asking a (presumably) maker of ice cream how he or she decided what flavors to make but I will assume that’s basically what you meant and you just don’t have very good story telling skills.

>>18024901
IMHO, when you regularly entertain people with your writing, and can, on demand, produce at the very least a short story that would probably entertain people and is technically sound and free of major errors.

>>18024990
>What does error free mean
IMHO, spelling, grammar, and formatting are tiptop, with discernible story structure, characterisation, and plot arc. The latter three don't have to be well-executed, you just need to, as the examienrs say, "demonstrate conceptual understanding".

>>18025030
Better to have not very good story telling skills than being you, and seemingly having none. A story actually ends up coming out on my end. Horror novel with a romance subplot. Why? You don't seem capable of understanding why. Get writing.

>>18025093
>spelling, grammar, and formatting are tiptop
>story structure, characterization, and plot arc don’t have to be well executed
Okay, okay, okay, very funny, anon.

>>18025115
If it was well-executed, then that's not "error free", that's outright "good".

>>18024498
nonsense. watch any group of people trying to attain a skill (writing, visual art, programming, anything you want) and you'll see those to whom everything comes easy and others that will continue sucking even after years of legitimate and arduous effort. i don't know how much of that is genetic and how much is early development (good parents who encourage you to read, in this instance) but the bottom line is that at the point when you're old enough to be consciously deciding to devote yourself to a field your possible level of success is already to a large degree determined by prior circumstances. you might still not reach that ceiling it if you don't have the discipline, but if you're a dummy then no amount of effort will allow you to overtake the people who work just as hard but also don't have to struggle with being dummies. i've seen this scenario from both sides in different disciplines (ie being the talented one who leaves everyone in the dust and being the loser that's left behind) and the best thing you can do is find early the thing that comes easy to you and don't waste your life on the things that don't.

>>18024983
>A grammar mistake is objectively incorrect, unless you intentionally broke from the standard for artistic reasons.
so your judgement of "objective" correctness requires you to be able to determine artistic intent?

>One of my characters is a horse with a bad attitude
I need some feedback on how this horse should act.
At the moment, he is almost a comic relief character, kicking people into water troughs and stuff.
Am I giving this animal too much humanity, to the point where he feels almost like a Disney mascot character? Should it be more animalistic, acting without thought or loyalty?

>>18025289
Riddle me this, Batman, what’s French and caused the death of Arthur?

>>18024947
What dumb standard is that? You wouldn't call someone a car mechanic, if they just fiddle with their own car, or their neighbor's car from time to time, even if they did that really well. You'd only call a person mechanic, if they work full time as a mechanic. Why would writing be any different? You're obviously not a writer if you do other shit most of your time.

>>18025452
so kafka was not a writer?

Why do editors hate adjectives and adverbs?

Why must prose be so straightforward and dull to get published? The dumber the better.

>>18025452
Lol just sitting around tapping a keyboard doesn’t make you a writer. Sorry your Loli anime inspired drivel web novel isn’t going to be considered art.

>>18025493
because book publishing is a capitalist enterprise.

>>18025521
I feel like most of the stuff they don't think will sell would actually do nicely.

The classics obviously still sells and they littered with adverbs and adjectives. Moby Dick is 50 percent adverbs.

>>18025537
>I feel like most of the stuff they don't think will sell would actually do nicely.
sure, but capitalist enterprises in the realm of art and entertainment are not run on any rational assessment of what will or will not make money any more than they are on artistic merit. they're run on fear of being blamed for failure. you want to be able to show your boss/shareholders that you did your job, so you fall back on what amounts to superstition about what audiences want and what scares them away.

>>18025664
Sad

>>18022054
no, I was hoping people would read the post again and maybe this time answer the question I actually asked

>>18021625
Was panic attacks as a superpower really the best you could come up with? And then it turns into isekai? What made you think this was a good idea?

>>18025470
Kafka spent more time writing than in the office and considered writing his main occupation, so yes, he was primarily a writer.

>>18025710
maybe if you didn't out yourself as a cunt

>>18025664
>they're run on fear of being blamed for failure
yup

and also a focus on maximising profit, which is also why you get so many series these days; studios/publishers only need to invest in marketing (hyping up) one set of characters and actors, one plot, and one setting, then let the juggernaut run its course for however many episodes with only enough additional marketing to keep the pot boiling, until it's all played out

It works out cheaper obviously, and marketing one series instead of several unrelated IPs, it's easier to build up a critical mass of exposure on less dollars

plus, this way some of the initial costs can even be spread out over several accounting periods on the justification that it's a capital cost applied to many movies, thus smoothening out profitability rather than taking one big hit at the start

it's a triple whammy of synergy that's proved irresistible to those bastards...

>>18025738
The story was already an iskai, because that was the kind of story I wanted to tell. the character in question was following a system of motifs I used to build out the characters. Her motif dealt with strength (but limited to close range) and color systems, so I thought it would make sense for her to be into superheroes and maybe even a little super herself. A protagonist defined by their strength would be a mary sue so I gave her crippling panic attacks like I used to have as a kid. It clicked fairly recently that the panic attacks and super strength could be tied together with the whole "hysterical strength" thing so I thought, might as well work with that

>>18025913
all I did was tell someone I don't really care if they think my idea is shit. I'm not going to stop writing something I care about becuase some rando insulting me on the internet. Would you?

>>18023926
>600 to 5,000 word short fiction
What's the point?

Is this kino?
The man's reassurance in faith threw Matt off. He missed the remnants of belief he once had. That inkling in his heart that filled it with vigor. Life had widdled that away. The ceaseless urgency and dread over whatever problem waited around the corner. Life's cruelties a snickering bully always lurking. Day by day, his faith had distorted itself into a bitter resentment. What had once been driven by love was now moved by hate. The war an outlet for Matt's rage. Contemplating his own banality made him sick. For years an evil had resided in him wasting his years as it gnawed away at his capacity for joy. He teared for his past. His life would likely end tomorrow and all had been for naught.

>>18026108
It seems a little cliche and bland. It's just fine.

Anyone got a good publisher for erotica they know of?

>>18026133
Fair enough.

>>18026133
I just need it for character development.

>>18026108
Sentences need more variation in length. If the rest of your story is written with more variation, and this paragraph comes up in the middle, it could work as an artistic brushstroke. Definitely wouldn't want to read a whole story written like this.

>>18026208
Ya I already edited it a bit. Appreciate the response, it is fairly unique for the story so that's nice to hear. Suppose to make the audience like the main character more whose normally a tough guy.

>>18021625
thinking this over, there's some requirements I can work with

>the girl can't have met the other isekai survivors yet, because one of them would have ordinarily taken a bigger role in calming her down
>the scene needs to illustrate the boy saving her, but it also has to show him investing faith in her and making her believe in herself

this leads me to believe the scene I should be writing would should take place when he is rescuing her. Presumably she runs away from him and hides, some monster would attack, he'd show up and try to grapple with it, but he'd tell her how to land the finishing blow

>>18026394
Lame

>>18026398
probably, but like I said, this scene's giving me trouble. I'm not really sure how to illustrate the girl finding a new hero who helps her believe in herself while also showing her panicked response to being in a dangerous magical world

Chapter 25 release
https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/40361/erased
Managed to create my favorite "villain" thus far. Righteous, actually righteous not just self righteous, and intelligent. 2nd in command of a military organization. And he ended up killing 3 my characters and sending them to the temple. Drafting is more fun than editing, that's all I can say.
Hope you're all enjoying your writing. Not worth it otherwise.

>>18026430
Make him hilarious.

>>18026430
"We are not fighting one demon today, my fair rookie! We are fighting five demons with the ability to fly, shoot lasers from right of their eyes, and dance hypnosis!"

"LASERS? DANCING?"

"If you don't have the groove, they will put you down with their sweet moves."

"Isn't this is a bit much. We can go after those harmless slimes instead."

The hero frowned, "I get it. You have no faith in yourself or the confident to move forward on this dangerous road. However, you have never considered this one lingering factor: I BELIEVE IN YOU!"

"That just what all guys say to pick up some girls. You're just going to carry me there, use whatever wizardly things to blow them up, and tell me that I did this with some 'secret hidden power' within me."

"Pick up the sword..."

The girl stood there perplexed. "I am a mage. I don't think I am supposed to use those things. You are supposed to go forth while I cast whatever stuff I have in my book."

"I will not be with you in this battle. Carry this sword. It'll lead your heart to victory."

"That's insane!"

"I believe in you and this sword believes you have the groove."

The girl slowly and surely grasped on the handle. She filched at the hero. "It better not make me shake my bootie or anything."

"OH YES IT WILL. Your WHOLE body must listen to the sword and its demands. Rebel its flow and it'll betray you too."

She was a bit thrown off with how straight forward his response was. She wondered if the hero had any sense on talking to ladies.

"Now go out there and spin with my belief!" He span the girl right into the battle field with the sword intact in her hands.

>>18026147
smashwords

>>18026567
he's already the biggest comic relief character in the story.

Maybe I should just go all in and make the scene as ridiculous as possible

>>18026724
that's honestly pretty similar to how I'm imagining it

>the scene starts with her running away from the boy in a panic when he yells "it's not safe around here" and tries to grab her, she pulls away and in the process she breaks one of his fingers
>she huddles in an alleyway trying to calm down when she hears what sounds like a pig snorting
>at the end of the alley she thinks she sees a pig nose poke out, but then it steps forward and it's some horrific boar monster (I'm thinking either a boar/motorcycle or a boar/police officer)
>it snarls and charges at her but just as it's about to crash into her the boy throws himelf in front of it and wrestles it back
>there's a tinkle of metal and then the girl notices a toy of hers, a cheap metal green lantern ring her dad bought her at comic con has fallen on the ground
>the boy is struggling to hold it back but he realizes she's freaking out. trying to put her at ease he offhandedly asks her if she can do him a favor and pick the ring up for him. As the thing is snarling and flinging its head back and forth in an attempt to dislodge him, he asks her if she knows the words and tells her to recite them and then punch the boar in the ribs
>when she does he uses his power to accelerate her her fist and punch the boar clear through a wall

yes, I know exactly how anime that sounds, but I'm trying to tell a story that's fun and emotional, not one that's classy

Quick /lit/ bros, I need help: em dash or ellipses? Why?

>>18026820
>he's already the biggest comic relief character in the story.
How depressing he actually is?

>>18026850
I abuse em dash like I abuse my dick

Is it a bad idea to name a character Cumball?

>>18027032
What do you think?

>>18024489
>it hit me that out of all the books I've read about writing (and about storytelling in general), they all seem to stress that a writer must have natural, innate talent
I've literally never read this in any book on writing/storytelling so I don't know what the rest of your doomerbait is all about.

How do I write a romance between two autistic individuals?

>>18027315
they need to be in an italian restaurant. copious amounts of spaghetti. their breath stinking from chomping on garlic bread. for added ambiance make it some place trashy like an olive garden. endless breadsticks and salad.
>romance between two autistic individuals
to be clear, you are writing a tragedy, correct?

>>18021625
This sounds like it would be better for a comic. Or a cartoon. Or a video game! Not a novel though

>>18027475
It absolutely would, but I can't draw for shit and I can't rely on someone else to get my story written so trash novel it is

>>18027572
You don't have to draw well to make a comic. See: One Punch Man
Also, any webcomic that's funny and popular, usually looks like dogshit
not the fairest comparison but still, give it a try.

what makes a writing cringe to read?

>>18027572
>another retard creating in a medium they dislike
Like novels if you want to write novels or just don't create anything at all.

>>18027702
>but bro writing is so easy
>then why is my prose is repulsive and wc meagre?
>fuck you, don't criticize my art!
fucking hate this mentality

>>18027701
What have you read that made you cringe?

Writing dialogue just always feels so awkward. Narrating and describing the world is easy and feels natural, but the moment people start talking it just feels so jarring.

>>18027701
Depends on the type. For me the big ones that bring actual cringe and not just an eye roll.
>references to tropes/pop culture/famous shit etc.
Stop it. A meme or common joke I can let pass if it's done somewhat naturally. But whenever people start referencing the tropes they're using I immediately cringe.
>writing about shit you clearly have no idea how it/they function
Some sci-fi jangle I can overlook if they only do a high level view and it's a plot device ( I don't expect every author to be a physicist) but when they start going into details that are clearly wrong or trying to describe it, instant cringe.
The bigger one is when people are trying to write women, but they're clearly a retarded autist who has never been around women. If she's a throw away character whatever, but when they're the protagonist and the writer is desperately trying to write a female character but doesn't know the first thing about women, complete cringe.

And a special one that I just read
>western author pretending he's japanese
Just read a shitty Amazon isekai book. Author white as fuck, but trying so damn hard to make his main character, a female lesbian, a Japanese girl from Japan because this is isekai and he's a fucking weeb.
God damn it was so fucking cringe. Everything was so fucking cringe.

I can worldbuild all day, and I am perfectly comfortable with my prose, but I have never even once come up with a character or arc for one. How the fuck am I supposed to write "person does this" or "person changes their mind" and make it interesting?

>>18027903
Maybe it's because your characters have no character.

>>18028152
>I can worldbuild all day, and I am perfectly comfortable with my prose, but I have never even once come up with a character or arc for one
What?

>>18028152
>I can worldbuild all day,
lmao
> and I am perfectly comfortable with my prose
You shouldnt be

Do you guys jack off before or after writing for the day? Smut authors need not reply.

Are the names Cumball, Cum-Cum, Cumbaall, Cumboy, and Erik Jonson too similar to each other? As a reader, would it be a problem keeping track of all five of these characters?

>>18022091
its really great anon, keep doing what youre doing

I'm having an issue that's difficult to ask advice for without the full context, but basically I have an important character that I'm not sure is working in the story. At first I thought she was boring, so I reworked her character over a few chapters (I publish as I write with about 10 chapters of margin) but I'm I'm afraid of just adding traits in an attempt to make her interesting and likable. I also get little feedback on my story, so I only have my own perspective.
Like I said, asking advice for this is difficult, but I bet most of you have gone through this at some point. What did you do?

And if you can recommend some good reading or videos about characters I'd appreciate it.

>>18028484
>I publish as I write
>I also get little feedback on my story

Any tips to write better fight scenes? My current fight looks like this, names are long so I replaced them with letters
>A aims for B's crotch and kicks him there, but B manages to avoid it by a hair strand, flipping backwards. A charges toward B. B, during a moment of disorientation while trying to regain his composure, receives a punch in the gut from A, sending him to a wall, crashing it. The wall cracks, small bricks chip off the wall and hitting B's shoulders and dust covers the whole area. A thinks he won, slowly approaches B, little does he know that B silently appears behind A, surprises him. B grabs A by the neck, tossing him airborne...

>>18029025
This

It sounds like you're one of those pseuds who posts on RR and considers it a bragging right.

>>18029041
There are two kinds of fight scenes: short ones and long ones. A short fight scene should be very short and over quickly. A long fight scene should involve lots of movement around an arena, with well-defined advantages for each side. In the latter, you want to focus your writing on the advantages and how they're coming into play or being circumvented. In shorter scenes, you want all of the tension to come from the setup of what's at stake, and you want the actual violence to be settled in a quick and brutal blow. Choreography is a completely dogshit way to approach it.

>>18028484
It's probably just as difficult to give any advice without reading it, I think. You could post it here or even on whatever forum you publish your story on for some concrete advice.

>>18029025
I'm in the same boat. People will leave feedback or comments if they feel like it. There's not much you can do except hope that readers are moved so much by a story that they feel like leaving something to say. Could always ask in author notes for beta readers or something, too, I guess.

>>18029044
Why would RR all of things be a bragging right? Are there people who would actually consider it such a thing? If you said trad publishing it'd make more sense.

>>18029025
>>18029044
What's the issue? I'm not bragging, nor am I really complaining. If I wanted to brag I could say other things, but that's not the point. I have my reasons for publishing as I write and I'm very aware of the disadvantages. I just felt like pointing it out in my post because it means I can't rework the whole story to not include the character I'm having problems with (which is a issue of posting chapters as I write, yes).

>>18028484
>At first I thought she was boring
this isn't a bad trait, so long as she does not bore the reader. if her being boring causes things to happen by accident or whatever, its an asset. or, rather than making her likeable, make her detestable. obviously it depends how long she's been around and how attached people may be to her established character

>>18029089
>I'm in the same boat

>>18029098
It just sounds like your character issues are inherent to your writing style, which you seem unwilling to change or explain.

What sounds better, anons?

>She is like a mother who had her first child.
>She is the size of an average human mother

>>18029148
Neither.
Not really sure what these lines are meant to convey.

>>18029163
The first is about elegance.
The second is just hot.

>>18029194

>>18029194
Not getting either from those lines.

>>18029025
yes please

>>18029025
a very tenable quenchement

Hey so here's a question. I've been noticing this toad meme that popped up here pretty recently. After I posted this particular progress report. If this actually caused it I have mixed feelings. On one side its funny. On the other it means there's a group of faggot discord trannies brigading the board. I'm certainly not surprised by that, but if my story managed to cause that, its making me smile. The Summers character has been renamed. She's Harper now. She's one of the three that got waxed in the last chapter I drafted. A really fun trial scene that was like 2.5 chapters.

>>18029229
I have never seen you or your writing in my life you schizo toad.

>>18029080
>A long fight scene should involve lots of movement around an arena, with well-defined advantages for each side. In the latter, you want to focus your writing on the advantages and how they're coming into play or being circumvented.
Ah I get it, so I need to write more characters walking around and their inner thoughts of analyzing the situation, instead of jumping straight to actions, and more environment descriptions.

>>18029229
Your writing is awful. And you're crazy for thinking it inspired anyone to anything other than eye-bleaching.

>>18029263
Aw shucks, and here I really liked your writing. oh well, different tastes

>>18029229
Your dialogue tags are fucking unreadable and needlessly complicated.

>>18029281
Please go away. May your shitty taste leave us astray like pepper spray.

>>18021589
I wrote my first one last year. Currently half assedly hitting up agents and starting my second book. I'm 20

>>18029041
Unironically, read LNs or WNs. The stuff on Wuxiaworld blew my mind away.

>>18029363
Hope you get it back some day

>>18026850
Never ellipses under any circumstances.

>>18029528
Agreed. Ellipses belong in technical writing only.

>>18024778
If you're so smart, why aren't you rich?

>>18029545
Turns out, he’s fucking stupid

>>18029799
>>18029545
Why would he tell you how he got his riches?
Then again, it's out of topic.
You annoying bitches.

It was a summer afternoon on the cusp of an overdue slumber. The days had been too hot, and too long. From cursing the days in front: sweating under parasols, slapping stray mosquitoes and flies that would fly too close-by yet scream and run a dozen lengths away from any innocent bumblebees that searched to pollinate nearby; to cravings of one more day, or, perhaps a week, just to enjoy the end of the summer for a little while longer presented themselves as once frosty feelings melted away.
The sun beat heavily overhead casting a parting glance before it fell forlorn, its face would soon grow longer than the shadows creeping away from its brilliant rays and finally settle to hibernate behind a blanket of cloud and rain.
But for now, its face swelled onto the cherry tree above, onto hydrangeas (of pink, white, yellow,) below the kitchen windowsill onto green grass cut the day before last with the lingering scent of being freshly cut remaining just in time for summer’s end, and onto a little girl in the garden making daisy chains in a white polka dot dress humming along with the radio that played from the sill.
It was a good day. A bird flew overhead, soaring on a light breeze, up, up, up, and then darting down somewhere behind the house. The girl watched it, deciding she would like to be able to fly; she’d fly alongside the bird and then further then it would dare, beyond the grounds and beyond the place where her older brother was sent to school, so far that she’d touch the sun if she didn’t get too tired, and if she did happen to feel exhaustion, then she wouldn’t mind not seeing the sun up close for her eyes hurt when she looked at it anyway and she could actually fly.

So this is the beginning of something I am writing but, alas, I don't really think it is entirely that great yet despite this, I cannot help but keep it the same. Any help would be appreciated on this, critique, etc

>>18030006
I would cut the description at the start down a bit. I'm guilty of taking way too long to set the scene. Save that for later and start with the little girl. Unless it's a unique setting just describing a setting doesn't get me interested in your story.

>>18030006
i used to write like this back in high school when i thought flowery description would make me look cool

>if she didn’t get too tired,
>and if she did happen to feel exhaustion
this is what i'm talking about. 'feel exhaustion', really? what made you think using a synonym to say the exact same thing was a good idea?
>if she didn't get to tired, and if she did, ...

>onto hydrangeas (of pink, white, yellow,)
wew lad

>for her eyes hurt when she looked at it anyway and she could actually fly.
break up your sentences. these are way too long.

i get that you're trying to capture that meandering feeling of 'everything has its own story and then they all kinda connect into a macrocosm'. i like that idea. i think the girl is cute. but it is poorly written. you are vomiting information and colors into my head and that isn't letting the feel to get in.

what i learned is this: let your readers do the imagining. game players don't want you to play the game for them -- they want to experience it. people don't want you to chew your cooking for them -- they want to taste it themselves. same with readers. terrible examples but you get the idea. you listing out the colors of hydrangeas like in a catalog is not descriptive. it's boring and distracting.

How do you write about people who feel no motivation for life without making the writing boring?

>>18030999
Explain their reasons why. Show how it’s affecting them. Put a scene in of someone trying to motivate them.

>>18030999
Try reading Oblomov.

>>18021913
This post is incredibly well written imo but i'm just an esl shitstain

>>18031159
He’s also a Finn, so that’s commendable. He should at least self publish on Amazon

>>18031246
Trad only! Believe it!

>>18031249
Okay Naruto anon

>>18031246
Don't the Finnish have a system where every citizen can get their book published into their national library

>>18021589
>The Art of Fiction
Which one of the one hundred milion books that have been given this title?

>>18031384
That sounds pretty socialist

>>18031421
Good goy! Love capitalism!

>>18031461
How would it even work, man?

>>18031502
Socialism? Global revolution then a socialist republic, the state of which withers away into communism and the state of things are abolished, “man”
You could read around first before asking me inane questions

>>18031513
I was asking about>>18031384

>>18031519
I didn’t respond with that reply, so you know not every anon is the same person?

>>18031524
Why are you talking to yourself you schizo?

>>18031535
Here’s a poem to answer your question:

“Daddy”
Because daddy wasn’t there
To turn my tendies in the oven,
All he did was fuck my mom
And never gave me no lovin’
She took all of his cum
But they produced only a bum
Whose feelings are let out on 4chan
For those anons against The Man
But daddy wasn’t there,
To change my underwear,
Life isn’t fair,
I’ll kill myself soon,
Would you even care!

Anons, I'm really struggling with writing my antagonists' arc right now. I feel like there are so many things happening with the protagonists already, that when I start talking about the antagonists it's just too much information. I am autistically obsessed with my antagonists' arc reflecting that of the protagonists', however on paper it feels forced, artificially similar. But if I do not draw such narrative parallels, the antagonists' backstory will end up being off-topic, I'm afraid. Do you have any tips for this off the top of your head? How would you write a natural and interesting antagonist backstory?

>>18031996
With no details it's impossible to say anything about this situation.

>>18031996
you're writing 2 pov I assume, one for the protag one for the antag? less can be more. instead of spelling things out in excruciating detail mention one little thing and if you need to expand on it later. so like, if they were both members of some navy seal group and they got into a fight during a mission some shit happened yadda yadda yadda, the only thing you mention is they were once both members of the group. the rest can be added later or even only implied through a line of dialogue. readers will naturally put some details together

>>18031996
>arc

>>18032409
He means character arc, not anime arc.

>>18031384
No? Maybe you're referring to how books published in the country must be submitted to the national archives. I think there's a similar system in pretty many countries out there. Usually it's the publisher who submits a copy, but in self-publishing the responsibility falls on the author.

>>18029025
>>18029111
>>18032409
>the pseud has become a soijack poster
start writing

>>18033059
>start writing
How?

>>18033059

>>18033059
They look like frogs to me

>>18029528
...what?!

>>18029537
...WHAT?!

>>18021589
Anyone got a good guide to writing tweests?

>>18033625
That's pretty obvious but it has to be very unexpected yet make perfect sense

>>18033625
140 characters, but you only really need ten words.

>entered writing contest at my university
>got honorable mention
>now depressed over it
I always liked to think I was the best writer at my school, but I guess not. I should be glad that I placed in the top three, but I want to be the best...

>>18033800
Uhhh Anon, you placed top three out of your whole university. That alone tells you you’re good. It could have just been a matter of style. Now you have a goal to work toward if nothing.

>>18033800
I'd be pretty happy with top 3 anon. It sounds like you did really good. Besides, writing contests are always pretty subjective, from what I've seen, so I wouldn't take it too hard.

I wrote a first page of a short story - tell me how bad it is:

Up until a week ago I had felt like my work had had some meaning to it. Wedding photography hadn’t been what I planned to do; I don’t think many photographers buy their first camera to capture what other people call important. But it was a way of indulging a passion, of finding some meaning in my work. Weddings to pay the bills, the photography for me.

I looked down from the streams of rain cascading down the bus window. Glancing up at the electronic display, I thought how best to keep my suit dry when I reach my stop. First impressions are important at a job interview and showing up soaking wet is a great way to communicate that you are unreliable. Despite my internal worrying I felt calm, this interview did not really matter to me. I was not proving myself; it wasn’t supposed to be a challenge and it wasn’t going to change who I was. That is the point thought I had to remind myself ruefully. “Just a job” I muttered absent minded, that was the idea. No more stress and anxiety. Working to live as they call it.

The job posting had specified that they were not looking for someone with expectations for growth – the job would be the job and that was it. Nothing much had been mentioned in detail, only that they wanted someone with a warm demeanour and customer experience. Also, a healthy-looking salary. It was a strange job opening, certainly unexpected. But the chirpy lady from the employment agency had been insistent that the company was a long-standing client and while odd, trustworthy. I had tried to probe more into it, but all they knew is that it was a registered non-profit. After 20 minutes of struggling for new information, I agreed to the interview.

At least I wasn’t going to have to pretend the job meant something to me, a strange request, but a welcome one.

Bing. A small red light simmered on the stop buttons and people began to shuffle out of their seats, to the doors along the still travelling bus. I followed; the doors breathed deeply before opening. A chorus of cheerful beeps followed as people filtered past the ticket scanners.
Stuck behind an old woman and her daughter I had to hold myself, no rush, you have more than 20 minutes. Nothing to get annoyed at. Stepping around them I picked up my pace and peeled off to the left, across the bike path and onto a long road lined with large sycamore trees and granite houses, terracing the entire length of the street.

It was a nice neighbourhood, expensive. Not a part of the city I spent much time in, still central enough that I knew some bars nearby.

>>18033800
I submitted my first short story to a contest two months ago, when I posted it here all the crit was talking about how contrived it was and that over 50% of short story contests submissions cover the same topic and I still feel so stupid that I made other people read it aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Anyway, I’m really proud of you, anon. You did a great job to be top three among a whole university full of potential competitors.

>>18029148
show don't tell. Use her movements and descriptive words in scenes with her to indicate these things.

>>18034097
Nice opening so far. The only thing is I’m a little confused on is the “no growth for expectations” bit and a few other parts that don’t seem clear. Other than that I like it.

>>18033800
post it

>>18034498
>unga dont bunga
sometimes you should tell
lots of great books show rather than tell constantly because shits not as important as the pacing
anime tier writing is full of drawn out details and explainations because they're scared of just saying it is how it is

What's a good height reference tool? I'm writing an erotica scene between a tall and short character and I'm wondering what the height cutoff range is for them to, say, kiss in the middle of sex or something else like that.

>>18034762

>>18034793
Movies

Does anyone know if, when using drop text, it's customary to have the drop text letter be the same font as the following text? There are some fonts I like, but when they're used as drop text they look funny—Times New Roman seems to look the best for drop text, but I don't use it for general text. Thoughts?

>>18035022
you.. turned that in? ..and got an honorable mention? its good in that i read all of it but in all actuality what did i just read

>>18035165
Yes the other anal vore story was just slightly better though

>>18035170
makes sense, the anal vore really was just tacked on at the end there. suppose they were going for a surprise ending but I'd imagine a story where it was more integral to the plot would do better

Is it cheap to have a child character appear just to be cherished and protected by the protagonist to show how much he has grown?

>>18035772
Rather than having them appear, have them there from the start.

>>18035863
But he is not ready to take care of anyone at the beginning...

>>18035885
Well, that's why he has a child bride to help him learn.

anyone else only get the will to write when they're fucking roasting themselves? is this a genre? i cannot get anything else out of me but this sort of decaying bloated adult angst. would people buy 200 pages of cringe and cathartic self-hate?

how do any of you write characters? can you imagine an apple? the redness too? i can't imagine color, let alone fruit and i have the npcest of npc imaginations. so exhausting being alive and having to clash with people and all things are there to slow your momentum. so always-distracted by my own angst to leave my body for just one second and write something other than first-person real-time autobiography of having-to-pee feeling but dont want to get up so that i can keep talking shit about myself

>>18035904
>child bride
Anon...

>>18035906
>how do any of you write characters?
I just do it and wing it

anyone else only get the will to write when they're fucking roasting themselves? is this a genre? i cannot get anything else out of me but this sort of decaying bloated adult angst. would people buy 200 pages of cringe and cathartic self-hate?

how do any of you write characters? can you imagine an apple? the redness too? i can't imagine color, let alone fruit and i have the npcest of npc imaginations. so exhausting being alive and having to clash with people and all things are there to slow your momentum. so always-distracted by my own angst to leave my body for just one second and write something other than first-person real-time autobiography of having-to-pee feeling but dont want to get up so that i can keep talking shit about myself

>>18035915
sorry had to repost because my img had my full name in the top-right corner. i forgot Word has that

thats what im doing and its going horribly

>>18035926
Don't forget to activate windows bub.

>>18035942
im inbetween operating systems right now also

>>18035910
What? It makes perfect sense.

>>18035885
Then you show he isn't, but that overtime that slowly slips away.

>>18036195
To slaver mentalities

>>18036409
>slaver
Slave to what? She loved him and he loved her. He saved her from enslavement at the hands of a school teacher who actually tried to whip her. Stop being such a tool for feminists.

>>18036431
you could groom a month old baby also and it will "choose" its groomer. doesnt make it right

>>18036453
Cool non-sequitur. It goes to show how irrational you people are.

>>18036409
Your options are to become an emancipated “free” woman. You will have no children. You will have no family to love you when you are old. You will eventually get at least one cat or negro. You will become an “activist”. You days will be filled with cheap wine and cope. You will be an actual slave to your screens. Constant emotional activation will be used to deplete you of your resources. Or you can cook a good man a healthy and hearty dinner. But you will be his breeding mare and slave. Your chains of “enslavement” will be made of love and the tiny hands of children. This will make the jews very angry and you will be called a Nazi.

>>18036483
that you consider it a non sequitur is proof that you already believe it's wrong

>>18036453
Shalika is a 6 year old black chimpanzee. She lives with her gang in the jungle. She lives a traditional chimp’s life. Dr. Satanstein captures Shalika and forces her to live in captivity for 1 year. After an extraordinarily difficult transition period Shalika manages to make an existence in captivity. Dr. Satanstein introduces Shalika to the masturbation machine. Soon Shalika is using the masturbation machine many times throughout the day. Shalika also enjoys the “magic” water she is given, a mixture of water, sugar and morphine. After another year in captivity Dr. Satanstein drives Shalika to the jungle in an armored Israeli APC which contains her masturbation machine and “magic” water. Shalika is freed but does not get out of the APC. Is she “free” if she willfully remains in Dr. Satsnstein’s armored Israeli APC?

>>18036580
>Is she “free” if she willfully remains in Dr. Satsnstein’s armored Israeli APC?
I asked you that already - is the now-adult groomed-since-one-month-old free also? If you answer this question with a "yes" then you've already admitted it's not a non sequitur.

>>18036580
alright i waited 15 minutes for a reply. going to bed. see you in warosu dumb faggot

>>18036612
>I asked you that already
You were talking to two different people, loser.

i only wanted to know if it was a cheap shot or not because i dont like being blatantly manipulative holy shit what is wrong with you people

>>18033800
>posts anime
>whinges about not winning
Gee whiz, I wonder why.

>>18024489
There is no such thing as talent, all there is are mental patterns that some people develop spontaneously and others don't, and after years and years this will translate to a faster proficiency at tasks that make use of that pattern.

For example, get me someone who tends to daydream for hours and hours every single day, to become genuinely lost in thought and imaginary scenarios, and I can guarantee you that that person will have an easier transition to any narrative artform than a person who doesn't, because even though what he's doing is by itself a waste of time and mostly an automatic process, it's the same creative, visual muscle that writing for example will draw from.

Was he *born* with that? Probably not, circumstance at some key periods of time lead to boredom or wishful thinking, which made him sink into daydreaming, while the other guy was maybe preocuppied with other things. One learned to entertain himself with his own little stories was the other was worried about grades, their social or love life, etc. But five years down the road one of them will seem instinctively good at artistic, creative endeavors, and the other might not even know how to begin the thought process that would lead to one. You can become "talented" at anything if you make use of its related mental circuitry every single day, but most people will develop their dominant mental models in their formatives years and never change them, as they're incapable of metacognition.

>>18036741
Cool non answer. (See what I did there?)
It also makes very little sense that you would reply to me mid-argument with a continuation of the argument, and then call me a loser for thinking you're the same person I was replying to. But, sure, you're not beholden to the same dumb claim that I was strawmanning as >>18036483 - unless you really do think my question is different from yours - but are you going to answer it or not? Or keep reciting ornate jewish chimpanzee parables? Once you concede that the adult that was groomed since birth is actually free to choose her groomer then you should be noticing that freedom has very little to do with the argument. You can't separate two consenting adults, even if one groomed the other since birth - but, surprise, grooming a child is still wrong. I don't expect you to see the difference though. Again, see you on warosu


>>18036742
>dont like being blatantly manipulative
Oh, the irony.
>what is wrong with you people
And again. This is also an extremely unhealthy way to frame the situation, as if everybody is against you, when you posted some notorious, decade-old, 4ch image about an adult marrying a child. You are aware this is an unpopular opinion (your friend is clearly aware, considering the Jewish rhetoric), right? Then you should also be also aware that you already answered your own question here.

Any people doing SFF? How do you account for magic systems or alien civilisational advances? Do you make them beforehand?

>>18036915
I was never interested in that anon's suggestion of having a fucking child bride in my story, you dyslexic retard.

>>18036932
>I was never interested in that anon's suggestion of having a fucking child bride in my story, you dyslexic retard.
And so reply to me replying to a different guy has nothing at all to do with what I was saying, and you're calling me dyslexic?

Does anyone here find it easier to write first person POV than Third? My prose flows much better for some reason.

>>18036965
you replied to me..............................................................................................................................

>>18036915
>Cool non answer. (See what I did there?)
What I see is you going back on what you said in >>18036724

>>18036997
its because we're silly modernies that tell our stories first hand
dont be a cucked bitch and write whatever you can perform best

>>18037017
>You were talking to two different people, loser.
If you're admitting you're >>18036431 then my previous posts apply to you so it makes no sense why you're trying to pretend like I'm responding to an entirely different person with entirely different points now.

>>18036932
You should be. It pisses pseuds like >>18037077 off so you know it's a good idea.

>>18037077
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

>>18036997
I mainly write in first person pov for MCs, and side/minor characters get third person. I think I kinda balanced it well, since there will only be 1 PoV for a chapter at any given time. As for preferring one or the other, I have no issues doing either I think. But I do kinda like monologuing a lot in first person.

>>18037089
Either way, I'm not interested in it. I don't write for him or his kind.

I'm very familiar with the meme and I've been thinking on using it for another story, though.

>>18037097
Then either YOU replied to ME, or you have schizophrenia and need to seek help (if you haven't already).

>>18037108
Good. I figured you wouldn't really be able to slot it into your existing story but it's an excellent idea I've been considering myself.

>>18037111
I posted my anime girl and then you thought I was the guy you were whining to, even though there was absolutely nothing in that post to imply I was.
I'm not the one in need of meds here.

>>18037143
So you were crying over an argument you have no stakes in? You do you, anon

My brother read two more chapters and said he'd rate me between 8+ or 8 1/2 on a scale of 4-10.
Anyone else feeling really good about themselves?

>>18037173
My stake was in the thread going to shit and not getting more responses because you shit up the thread.

>>18036915
>ornate jewish chimpanzee parables
Lol and thank you. As the other anon pointed out you are talking to at least 2 anons here. Your assumptions were wrong.

And to answer your question you first have to understand that your assumptions here are wrong as well. Your incorrect assumption is that mass media is not a pure evil “grooming” mechanism. This was the point of my parable. And with over 9000% certainty I can say that most women would be happier and “freer”, in that their basic needs are more fully met, in a traditional family with more than 2 autistic kids she had at 37, than living as an emancipated and atomized “free” modern sub woman.

>>18037175
>8+ or 8 1/2 on a scale of 4-10.
uh?

>>18037175
Finished a chapter ahead of schedule and happy I reached one year of serialization. we're all gonna make it bros

>>18037231
In my country schoolwork is graded on a scale of 4-10.
8+ is 8.25, 8 1/2 is 8.5. Do you see?

>>18037181
So you shit up the thread with your own, and then even replied to me multiple times? Good solution

>>18037184
Well, you didn't end up answering my question, at least directly, but I can take a guess that you do not have any issue with the one-month-old-baby-grooming-scenario on any level? If that's the case then we don't have much to argue about. Not only do we have zero common ground to work from, but I don't see how "mass media is a pure evil grooming mechanism", or why you're even mentioning that at all, if you take no problem with my groomer scenario. The parable seemed very clearly to me to be asking me whether or not the now-grown-adult can choose. I say yes, of course, but that's not my issue.

Then you say,
> And with over 9000% certainty I can say that most women would be happier and “freer”, in that their basic needs are more fully met, in a traditional family with more than 2 autistic kids she had at 37, than living as an emancipated and atomized “free” modern sub woman.
Yeah, maybe, I think I would be happier if I was groomed since birth also - unless you're suggesting that women are happier subjugated, and men cannot be happy this way? Is this also a utilitarian argument then?

WRITE A STORY, USING 14 WORDS OR LESS.

GO

>>18037277
When I was a boy, my father took me to see a marching band.

>>18037277
I don't really feel like writing anything today.

>>18037277
*Record scratch* YUP. THAT'S ME. Arguing with pedophiles on 4chan once again. (Reddit Moment).

>>18037241
Why 4-10?
Are failures not allowed in your country?

>>18037313
A 4 is a failure.

>>18037320
Is 4 a special number or something?
Here we have 0 for the absolute worst you can do

>>18037277
"Everything's okay," said the doctor to his patient. The doctor chuckled. "Except you're dying."

>>18037340
You have to be pretty "special" to get a 4 in anything so I guess it is a special number in that sense, but I have no idea why the system is like this. Our school system gets a lot of praise so I'm just going to accept it.

>>18037389
what country you from

>what ain't no country i ever heard of

>>18037519
Binland :D

>>18037534
>Binland
Then I'm just going to say "bollocks" to
>Our school system gets a lot of praise

no offence

>>18037548
Ignorance is not an argument in favor of your own position.

>>18029080
Not that guy, but do you have any suggestions on story prompts to help me practice writing fight scenes? I kinda gave up on this old story of mine years back because I couldn't figure out how to write the fight scenes and I'd like to finish it up.

>>18037556
>universitas21 ranking
>20% expenditure per student
>20% gender diversity and environmental sustainability (BWAHAHAHAAHA)
>20% research publications (of which only 4% based on quality)
>40% more research publications and enrolment numbers

lol get fucked

>>18037611
That was the first result on google. You are free to look into this further if you are interested in it.

>>18037621
Consider:
>https://bigthink.com/politics-current-affairs/finland-education-system-criticisms

I pick this article not just because it's first, but also because it adequately sums up A LOT of issues educators have with these newfangled systems

>>18037572
Well, try to limit what your characters can do to avoid blow by blow description and think of a way to succeed despite that.

Also, I think there's a difference in fight scenes and combat. Fight scenes are there as a thrilling filler, combat is overcoming specific obstacles and has lasting consequences.
For example, characters clashing swords because bandits or an old grudge is a fight scene, guards/shield/magic/whatever being obstacles for another character to overcome so that y can happen is combat.

>>18037654
Yeah, but that's the thing, I want to write cool fight scenes. I was easily able to handle "combat" in the abstract and basically wrote around the issue with a big fat placeholder of [fight scene goes here], but it feels so lacking without it.

>>18037534
Hope you're still writing your novel.

>>18037644
OK

>>18037669
See>>18021913

>>18037662
Anon, just do it.

New thread
>>18037682

>>18037662
Well, build them around the environment. If it's a forest, it has trees for ambushes and branches to trip over, a street can see the opponent framed to the guards, a bar can have a drunk fight or thieves.