/lit/ - Literature

first for zyzz

>>18001806
i need to read books on handling / manipulating /interacting with people, also need to streamline some things at my new job to make things little bit more easy

Horny. Going to masturbate. Don't understand this Asian face.

>>18001806
cute picture

What's on your mind

>>18001806
extreme high heels trampling desu

I was looking at little head wraps and onesies for babies this morning. I keep having dreams about having a daughter and a son and I hope with all of my heart my dreams come true one day. I would love them more than anything in the whole, wide world.

>>18001806
Why would any man get married when woman can divorce right away with nothing to lose and everything to gain, there being almost no judical or sociatal repercussions to cheating and having you raise another man's kid on top of her just being another competitor in the job market?

>>18001806
Why did you make an early thread when the other one hasn't hit the bump limit?

>>18002580
I'm not getting or having kids, was lucky enough to experience long-term relationship and getting cheated on as a young guy so I'm not falling for the vaginal trap again. In contemporary social climate in the West there's pretty much 0 incentive in commiting to women unless you're hell-bent on starting a family. Good luck in that case, because you're playing Russian roulette with half the drum loaded.

>>18002623
jezebel post; didn't read

>>18002623
*I'm not getting married

>>18002580
God I fucking miss pre-1.10 summon necros, those were the days. Total shit in terms of efficacy, but broken in a fun way.

Runewords, especially Enigma, turned every class into the same shit.

>>17999164
anyone?

much of my anxiety stems from my inability to imagine a girl ever liking me for me and being deserving of that sort of relationship, I'm 25 now I should be over these feelings but my growth is stunted from inexperience

>>18002709
I was same except then I got a bunch of experience, humilaited myself and wasted time on women, and now I secretly wish I had been an asexual autist forever

>>18002709
you'll never be truly over this as the regret will come out sooner or later at the slightest trigger like sound, smell or view.

>>18002709
>I'm 25 now
Hate to tell you this, but at 25 you shouldn't expect much development in this regard. Most people get their starting sexual experiences aged 14-18, maybe 18-20 for late blooming males. Wasted youth will always come back to haunt you.

I'm beginning to not enjoy things anymore, again. This happened a few years ago. I know it's depression, but I think I feel the weight of all my responsibilities, and also the full realization that I've already experienced every unique moment, and now everything has turned into drab black-and-white reruns. I want to rewire my brain to not revert to it's default unhappy state, but I am struggling to do so.

I'm not one of those teddy k followers but his bit on why "mathematicians don't actually like math" can pretty much be extended to most modern first-world careers and jobs. It's absolutely ridiculous and nearly insane how much we have to lie about enjoying performing jobs to simply have a job in the first place. Nobody in their right mind genuinely loves doing finance for some big conglomerate. What they might like is accomplishment, recognition, learning. And yet everybody has to walk into an interview and lie and say why Amazon is their first-choice of a company, why ever since they were in high school they knew they wanted to be a software developer when in reality they just need to work and there is no work in life that isn't duty, we just pretend that it's all personal choice, likes and dislikes. GOD FUCK THIS SHITTTT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>18002799
dude, i fucking love programming and if got an interview at audible to work on their mobile app i would 100 percent go in there and tell them it's my first choice place to work and be completely sincere. not everyone is a soulless husk, friend.

I'm desperate for any typically good-looking girls approval. I'm often not attracted to them, but I want them to display some sort of interest in me as a confidence booster. On the off-chance I receive anything I can construe as validation, I find it enormously fragile and fleeting, only lasting as long as I find myself in the presence of another good-looking girl, where the need only grows and demands to be sated again.

>>18002758
right, but say I did get a gf, wouldn't I grow as a person?

>>18002891
You would, and you probably should do it too, but don't expect the regrets to go away as this guy >>18002731 pointed out. Also don't have expectations set too high for your first relationship, as you lack experience to make it work.

>>18002901
desu I don't, and I try not to get hung up on the past, my concern is whether I'm fundamentally worth anything to begin with

sometimes I think about standing on my shoulders, bending my legs up over my head so my butt is aimed straight up, kind of like tubgirl, then pouring yoghurt on my anus and farting. So the fart would be a yoghut-mist. that is all.

my religious conservatism was only religious in the sense that I believed a society needed to be centered on God to be sustainably... worthwhile is a decent word I guess. apart from that all the positions I held, which did really overlap with religious conservatism and which were sometimes gathered from it, really were just my political judgement. My belief in patriarchy was just my best take on the situation, which I maybe used God to feel holy about but which really was just my belief. I wouldn't say I've left it behind exactly but I care a lot less nowadays desu.

>>18002799
I think you might actually get some respect if you said you work because you need to pay bills, etc.

Lying in an interview like that is what jobless weirdos do to get hired. And it doesn't matter if you've graduated from Yale or WVU, you're still a jobless weirdo at the beginning. :3

You'll get used to it. Not all hard work is bad. Sometimes you'll get discriminated against because of your age. Those are bad people. There are bad companies/environments.

So my previous girlfriend was an okay student, she got decent grades and graduated college, but was really cringy and boorish sometimes. My current girlfriend keeps failing college, but is much better dressed, more worldly, and overall a better person to be around and talk with. If you didn't know about the academic performance of the two, you would really think the latter was the more intelligent of two. Overall, I have noticed that women are very, very similar in their level of "social intelligence" even when they differ in terms of academic performance. I've known smart girls and average ones, and all of them talked and acted the same. With males it's never like that. You cannot talk to a nerd the same way you talk to some low IQ dudebro, whereas you can talk about the same subjects with any girl you meet.

>>18001806
My hyper awareness of my own thoughts is driving me crazy. Have a completely normal interaction with a girl at a social event, seems like she’s into me a bit, chatting me up, etc.

And of course the moment I get home from said social event I’ve already thought through and explored the option of us getting together, marrying, having kids, what our life would be. Like I can’t just fucking leave it at “I met a new person and they were nice, I hope to speak with them again”. I have to fucking imagine our entire life together.

I’m not sure what to do to stop this, but it’s suffering.

>>18004630
I think you're just a little autistic. Everyone does that, it's normal. Chillax.

>>18001806
I'm so tired of this shit, so fucking tired of this fucking garbage shit, every fucking year it happens.
I will go on months, 8-10 months of doing being moderately happy, doing extra work and exercise, having a nice diet (of course, since I have the will to actually make the food), read , write and watch movies and be able to discuss them with people, practice various instruments, do fine in school and then one fucking day I just don't want to do fucking anything but sleep, then this feeling of sadness keeps going for some months, I stop having the energy to do exercise (and when I do it, it's lackluster), my diet goes to shit and so does my sleep pattern, I don't give a shit about my hobbies and just want to sleep go on 4chan and play vidya. Now I'm bombing at school while my last semester I was basically acing everything without stressing at all and my whole body feels like shit and I achy muscles.

Is it possible to have female friends without being gay or particularly effeminate?

>>18004735
only if you think of them as possible future girlfriends

>>18004735
Yes 100%. What made you think otherwise?

>>18004735
Rare but possible

Most men are simps, most women are thots, and most people are irresponsible and will slide into eachother's arms for one night of feeling something real in a moment of desperation even though they know it will kill the friendship overall

is it really possible to catch up with six months' worth of school work in two months ?

>>18004766
Because in the past I made friends with girls and to be honest, I liked the prospect of keeping them as friends but actually doing so seemed to take so much work. They wanted to always get together and watch Netflix or gossip or whatever. It’s not like you just meet, go on a friend date, then go about your lives. They like demand that you be a girlfriend in a male body.

>>18002764
>the full realization that I've already experienced every unique moment
There is no way this is true

>>18004797
About half of my friends are women and none of them are like this

>>18001806
everytime I scroll past this thread, I think the mouth is smaller. I'm going to lose it.

>>18004834
>About half of my friends are women and none of them are like this
So what do you do with your female friends?

>>18001806
this is how I wake up every fucking day

>>18004853
We just hang out, qualitatively it's not different at all from what I do with my male friends.

Was gifted a potted plant today. Kind gesture, very thoughtful. I name it Bartholomew.
It included a tag instructing an "east-facing location". The window in my room faces north, I am worried it won't get enough sunlight. Troublesome.
I will take care of it best I can.

>>18004876
>naming plants
I never understood why people do this, or name inanimate objects like guitars or cars or whatever. I have pets that I haven't even named.

>>18004888
it is because you have no soul

>>18004888
Nice digits, but you might want to check with a psychiatrist because you sound like a sperg

>>18004888
do I have a name for u? idiot & now go and name plants or something

>>18004566
In my experience women are more homogenized than men.

>>18004797
women have richer social lives for a reason

>>18004789
please help

>>18001806
I hit a pr of being able to bench my bodweight, 275 pounds, today. I can do muscleups and have enough core strength to lift myself into trees. After a life of being a weak fatass such strength is intoxicating. And I am not even at my natural, sustainable potential.
There is such beauty in strength, Anons.

>>18004789
most likely not

>>18001806
I am almost done with my first semester of tradeschool for welding, and I find that, frustrations aside, it is lovely. When I am established financialy I may very well go back for machinistry and mechanical maintenance.
It is autistic, but machines have a soul of sorts that is different from silica, that of their designers, constructors, operators, and custodians that all blur together on the steel cansas.
Firearms are the pinnacle of this nature, for mans heart has always lied in his weapons.

>>18004789
Your only hope lies in stimulant abuse and foregoing everything but toil, sleep, and eating.

>>18005224
i'd nominate old automobiles for that title too. there was always a unique soul behind each model. and the driver's input managed to create a magical symbiosis between man and machine.

Sometimes each day just turns into another day, and the challenge is how to make it interesting again.
People are counting on me.

I've discovered that my writing abilities improve massively when being used to make hormone-fueled rants about anime girls on /jp/.

>>18004640
>I think you're just a little autistic. Everyone does that, it's normal. Chillax.
I do think I’m a bit on the spectrum, would just make sense with how I act sometimes. The worst part is I havnt even stopped to consider if I’m even attracted to her. She was just nice to me and immediately I already feel like I’m on the pursuit.

>>18005267
It’s my favorite thing to do, think about how to make this day interesting. I’ve got a few old classics that I personally employ, but it’s a job I don’t mind doing the rest of my life.

Has anyone managed to find what they’d actually consider a good day job for a writer? Alternatively, has anyone found a way to quit their job and make a full time living quickly off of writing?

>>18004735
The conventional wisdom is "it never works" but yes it happens frequently. If you're childhood friends or grew up in a non-romantic setting together it's normal. If you're both single... be careful to not catch feels and ruin it all. If you have a gf then it's easier (unless your gf disapproves which you should respect)

>>18004566
I've seen women who have the most interesting backgrounds in my grad school - high GPA from Ivy Leagues, years of diverse work experience, very professional and well put-together - but when you talk to them they discuss the same vapid things. I think social media makes it worse but it's just who they are. Very difficult to have more than surface level conversations. Just find men for a conversational companian.

I’ve been working in university admin for a few years now and I’m thinking about becoming a teacher? Would that be a bad move? My alternative is trying to be some sort of civil servant. I don’t really want to do either. I want to write but unfortunately, I need to eat.

I recently discovered a Youtube channel that I enjoy but it makes me wistful in a specific way. It leads me to reflect on my shortcomings and the inherent impermanence of people.

>>18005646
please share it anon

I'm probably not going to see her again and I no longer have an excuse to talk to her

Drunk out of my mind, I raved like a madman yesterday on my bed while my friend and his ex/girlfriend were arguing drunk in the other room. Felt like King Lear or some shit.
Also I found a moldy ass sock in my washing machine.

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Zzuk1Sd9Kg

after i eat dinner i'm gonna watch pink narcissus. what am i in for?

>>18004735
Yeah
I wanted to be with one but got over it when I realised she had a boyfriend. Turns out we got along anyway

>>18004735
i only have female friends. the real question is it possible to have guy friends as an adult and not have it come off super gay.

If the anon making multiple effort posts about understanding the trannies phenomenon in the last thread is still around, I figured I'd share pic related. He was pretty close to the mark.

>>18002580
It's kinda sad people base major life decisions on small samples. You meet 1 bitch once in your life and forever swear off looking for someone better.

I'm a 20 year old virgin and I'm going to have sex with a 39 year old I met on tinder tomorrow. Wish me luck fellas.

I think since switching to vapes my smell and taste have begun to improve. Hard to tell if it's just in my head though.. it's not like it's a night and day difference, but I feel as though I'm tasting things the way I used to taste them..

maybe i spent too much time on this place, but this whole talk of ''if you haven't made it by 30 you should consider the rope'' talk is starting to make me very worried for the future. i'm currently twenty and pretty much a NEET for now. no job, college dropout, no real achievements, lanky fuck in a terrible shape, have no discipline...etc. i'm starting to really wonder if ten years is not enough to do what i need to do. time goes by so quick, and i have this terrible habit of wasting it, that i don't know if i'm really gonna make it by that age.
anyway, my question would be, is there really a point where there's no hope for a massive improvement ? should i start getting stressed at the age of 25 ? 30 ? not get stressed at all ?

lol the trotsky thread got nuked, good riddance, fuck trotsky and fuck the paris commune, buuuut it was a legit threat and the op even linked to the specific essay he wished to discuss. oh well.

>>18006084
how in the hell do people drop out of college with nothing else to do? college is so fuckin comfy, just switch to a major you actually enjoy. it's better to have a degree in something interesting than no degree. i mean ur posting here, so why didn't you switch to english instead of whatever bugman degree you didn't complete anyways?

>>18006107
i said college but it's a university, and i'm a non-american. i was in stem for three years and i failed, got booted. it works differently here. in order to join another uni again i have to go through this exam, which i will have this june, but i've done such a shit job at studying that i'm not sure i have much of a chance to get a decent result. i'm posting here because it's 6 am and i'm a weakling who has to vent i guess.

>mom has BPD
>have been more like a parent to her emotionally than opposite for long time
>have to be good to her even through crazy splitting episodes where she is incredibly mean but also blames me for everything in her life
>never close with other family
>all my best friends either drifted away or friendship got weird
>try to connect with the one friend who really meant a lot to me about how alone i feel
>does the exact thing im telling him makes me feel alone
>can't tell if it's gaslighting or just horrible luck
>don't even like myself
>so disassociated i can't even tell who i am or if i ever was anybody

>>18006084
Why is there no hope? I think you are being asked to take a job here, not morph into Hercules. What’s the real problem?

>>18006084
The average age here is about 22 so take any talk about the horrors of turning 30 with a massive grain of salt. Your 20s are for experimentation and discovery because you have nothing holding you down, make the most of it before you have to take someone else into consideration, or you have a mortgage and other loans constraining you.

Everyone feels like they wasted their 20s, even the people that worked the whole time or partied constantly.

>>18006189
hi wow u are almost me except my mom died 6 months ago (apparently i have ptsd from it) and my one friend won't even talk to me anymore. haha. haa...

i'm sorry anon hang in there i'll pray for you we all have to stick together

>>18001806
reality is a bad AI generated thomas pynchon novel

>>18006189
I love you anon and I know what it feels like to parent your parents and be deserted by your friends. You’re a special soul for looking out for your mother in spite of her episodes. Many people would not be able to handle that. I hope there is a place on future Earth where principled, caring, and sincere behavior is rewarded rather than mocked and punished.

nothing hurts like knowing that you realistically had the chance to attain greatness, but you fucked it up for yourself all on your own. i don't think anyone can recover from that

I haven't changed my subligar in months. People are grossed out if you don't change it every day, but I don't think it's actually that bad.

if you have room in your hearts and lives, please pray for my dad. in the past year he has had two major heart surgeries and likely needs another tomorrow. he is healthy, 48, and physically strong but genetics dealt him a bad hand.

>>18001806
I'm beginning to feel like a homeless person. I do these long walks through the town without a destination. I just walk. Then go back inside. I feel dirty. I can't stand being indoors. I spent my teenage years infront of a computer. I am tired of being all wire and frames. There is no nature around here, besides a couple trees, weeds sticking out the concrete, streets filled with trash, stray cats, bums walking uneasy, lots of cars, dogshit, loud music, oil spill, more cars. You avoid people. They avoid you.

I don't belong here. Do I? .

Everyone just whines here.

My hair?

>>18006189
yo my ex had bpd. i had no idea how crazy that shit really was. we broke up about 2 months ago and i'm just now processing how a lot of her bullshit was the bpd.

i hate to do this to you, but you should be selfish and get the fuck away from your mom. get a life man children should not have to sacrifice their life for the parent. let the system deal with her.

>>18002815
>i fucking love programming
>audible
>not everyone is a soulless husk

>>18001806
I'm constantly disappointed to learn that Anime OP contain the most /lit/ discussions.

>>18004735
yes but if you're genuine friends with many females it probably means you're boring or stupid, as (you) >>18004797 already said

>>18001806
I like the idea of Jesus. Very chill, understanding, and forgiving. But I myself find myself giving in to my own short-fuse. I have a good life, and small things should not make me fly off the handle. but there is an addiction to the feeling of power when you lose control and let anger take over, in that moment when you see red, there is no fear of anything. I am reflecting more on my beliefs and how I carry myself. I'm going to meditate and be more forgiving of other people and myself in the future.

>>18002580
I got married because of high self-confidence I have. I don't share a lot of "what if" fears that I notice a lot of other people have. I will deal with any problem that appears in my life when they appear. I do not worry over something that might not even happen. The people who are controlled by fear of what if scenarios are usually fucking terrible at dealing with problems and run away instead of solving. That is why a lot of them don't want to get married and such - because they foresee themselves being fucked over and not knowing how to handle themselves.

>>18001806
Am I not a writer? Am I not fit for it? Anyone else struggling to see what sort of writer you might become in this life?

I've had my poems and prose published in magazines, journals, and have even given publics readings of my work

But I just don't seem to have the drive to write something unless I have an idea take absolute hold of me. I've seen people with no (discernible) talent just be able to write pages upon pages of books upon books. I've know someone who wrote and published three books by the time he became my age of twenty-four.

>>18006528
I wish i could be as you because im the complete opposite, fear and doubts cloud my mind.

>>18002580
If you have no kids and your assets are in the same ballpark (especially if she worked f/t throughout the relationship) you really don't have anything to fear about asset allocation after divorce. You know the court doesn't just give the wife money after separation just because, right? It's for the dependents that she usually takes on and the employment she sacrifices when she gives birth.

Messy divorces aren't even that common, a lot of people settle this stuff out of court and only hire an attorney to sign off on it. Don't base major life decisions off of extreme examples online.

>>18006538
no fear and doubt is healthy in this scenario.

>>18006568
>just be opposite of yourself
yeah, easier said than done

Superficial bait headlines about race and gender stuff never made me mad, I never reacted to them. I would just pass along passive support for whatever it said or was getting at because I felt like that was the right thing to do. They upset me now though. When I see those headlines I feel like I've been cheated out of something. Surely the loved ones in my life would tell me what I missed if they were aware? Shouldn't I be faced with enemies taking advantage of my ignorance? Insecurity tells me I've been cheated out of some sort of enriching education, with great old books and mentors and rivals. But I think its more likely I've only been cheated out of my attention. I don't have the type of friends to talk with things like this about. It would just sound like another halfhearted contrivance from me. Even the ideas I turn over and refine in my head come out as contrived. I'm stumped. The only hope now for me is to work until I'm 60, and tell some younger person this idea of mine when I'm sharing too much. But they would either not understand, or understand too perfectly. I'm just stumped. If I'm feeling a little more self centered, maybe some anthropologist will reconstruct what I'm feeling as a part of some paper or whatever. And there will be a nice plain explanation with a clear continuity of ideas. It probably doesn't have to sound all that special, there are definitely people now who can understand to that degree. But I'm still stuck here, stuck and stumped. Sometimes it helps most to hear advice like "try harder" or "don't think about it". I'll probably forget what I'm feeling, and find the perfect conclusion some decades later when I suddenly remember what stumped me. I'm worried now, but I won't be worried later, and that makes it easier.

>>18006574
Maybe trying taking yourself on walks and using positive affirmations

>>18006357
lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6TUawJzJv8

>>18006587
I dont want to sound whiny (i already do by saying that) but i been doing that for the longest time but it just doesnt work or im the biggest idiot when it comes to this.

schwoogies are tipping over minneapolis again

>>18006537
Maybe he’s just better than you. That’s life kiddo

>>18006189
>>18006244
This, seriously good on you. I hope you can find at least someone irl who is able to appreciate what a good character it takes to be able to persist through something like this.

>>18006280
I went through a similar phase, which pretty much only ended because my health grew too bad to keep going.
The answer is no, you don't belong there. Modern cities are living machines hostile to true human nature, and if you don't have anything like family or a solid community (and who has the latter in a big city?) to anchor you, you either end up losing your humanity or your sanity sooner or later.
Get out of there if you can, find some place with nature, some place where you're not constantly assaulted by advertisements, gaudy colours, the sound of traffic etc.
The solution to the bigger question of what to do won't come to you until you get out of there.

Love the universe.

I'm tired of this memevirus, I want to return to the life I had in 2019

>>18006664
Thank you. At first I felt just normal walking outdoors. Six months later, you begin to feel like a homeless men, as if the city tendrils get to you. Hopefully this year I manage to run away from this mess.

Eating tonkotsu ramen in the dark after 2 hour back and shoulders workout. I am not alone because I lift for God

>>18006084
You have a whole decade dude, but you're correct that you shouldn't take that decade for granted. The big wake up call most of us face is that success (however you define that) won't just happen to you - you have to actively work towards making it happen, which often means taking risks and plunging into the unknown. You have a lot of time up your sleeve at 20, but my advice would be to think long and hard about what your definition of success would be. Maybe it's just making enough to have a stable income and live comfortably. Maybe it's to excel in a particular field etc. Think long and hard about it and try to settle on *something*. Here's the catch: you may end up changing your mind halfway through your 20s. That's ok, because as you grow older you experience more of the world and you gain a better sense of what you can and can't do. However, I think it's important to working towards some sort of goal because it is in the process of working towards is that that learning occurs. What you don't want to happen is to turn into a drifter for 10 years waiting for success to materialise. That won't happen.

You have time. You can change your mind. But make sure that you're heading in a direction and not no direction.

>>18006795
Comfy vibes brother. I love that post-gym feeling so much.

My work has been shit for me the last few months and its wearing me out. Before this I really enjoyed and took pride in my work. Its all about an audit I failed and subsequent fallout from it. The person that did the audit has a reputation for being a hardass and im just waiting on someone else to redo it for me. In the grand scheme of things it hasn't directly affected my work as of yet, its not like I lost my position or anything.
Anyway I'm not coping well with my work being shit, and I suppose I'm being dramatic. Its bleeding into my days off and I feel anxious a lot.
Any recommended readings for dealing with failure or something similar?

Stressed. Very behind on my studio project and only have a week and a half before final review. Also stressed because I lost all my money and just feel all in all incompetent. I can’t wait till this school year is over and I can just spend time with my gf. I just feel so miserable right now

having PE really sucks.

my mom is stalwartly marching into burning herself out. everybody around her has told her for years that this is how it will end but she doesn't change anything. I think it may well come to the point that her man leaves her because she prioritizes her work over him.

I wonder what she wants from us and what she gets out of working like this. I think she prioritizes it higher than her fiancé. Maybe she wants us to prove we care somehow. We tell her all the time though that this is gonna end bad.

I'm convinced that all errors of reasoning and all prejudices involving a magnitude of variables are statistical in nature. Or rather *nearly* all, gotta leave room for a confidence interval. Once you understand statistics it becomes clear how faulty regular intuition is and how greedily the mind wants to reduce a variety of phenomena to a single representative case rather than to adjust the case to a diverse array of data.

Most of modern politics, I would say, is a systematic error of statistical thinking.

to be honest I'm pissed at my mom for our relationship being so shitty. not that we're bad to eachother, it's just that we don't really share anything good. She is caring of me, I don't know why I'm not grateful for that. I'm pissed at her because I assume that at some point in my youth she was supposed to create our relationship, and I feel like she didn't. We could start anew now but if we met as strangers we would not be friends.

/lit/ - mommy issues

>>18007723
It's all your fault momma, it's all your fault

Really fucked up this whole major and early career trajectory thing...

Mum threw out my favourite spoon :spoon: :spoon:
We have few but not for poo

>>18007771
Try /biz/ at least you may become a millionaire instead of another An hero

>>18007677
Hate to break it to you but some people are just not compatible. You have to love them for that

>>18007865
Nah.

Anyone quit their job to write?

I rejected women who propositioned me all through college until I was 29 because I thought it was the honorable thing to do to wait for my wife. Then I find her and we start dating and she is perfect and then after we get engaged she tells me about the three men she slept with. She cries and I forgive her on the spot and she tellse.howmshe feels so loved and accepted. I want to kill myself now. So that's.fun.

>>18007912
Yes. Alcohol will kill you in your 40's but at least you might have a legacy

>>18007922
Lmao because all she did was sleep with 3 guys before you dated her AND you even had the chance to date her before. I know you probably realise this is your problem. But you really don't need to make it hers, why risk losing her over something so petty.

Very-slender female bodies are very-beautiful, but the only people who can feel major sexual desire towards them are poets.

(one need not actually write poetry to be a "poet")

>>18007948
Yeah, I know it's petty, but I don't think she deserves the sacrifice I made to honor her. She was really sweet about how my waiting makes her feel so special. But how am I supposed to feel special? I didn't tell her anything negative, I was very supportive, but she gave herself to men who didn't love her. Now I am supposed to believe she loves me? Or am I just another guy in a list, somewhere in the middle. It's hard to know what to do. I can't tell my family or friends. I am just supposed to go through with this marriage like nothing is wrong. Don't make the same mistake bros. There is no honor left in the world. Fuck everyone, nobody will care. All the lies I was fed as a boy about remaining pure and not taking advantage of women by sleeping with them before marriage. My whole life is a joke and I threw it all away.

I don't know if I'm going to be able to finish this semester. It's hard to deal with shit from work, relashionship and college at the same time. On top of that, there's this black cloud of negative energy that came from living trough a pandemic, that just covers everything. I'm just so tired. I just want a lil vacation, a lil time to read in peace, to walk alone, listen to music and just... relax.

>>18007974
This is a good thing.

I feel the need to expunge all the ugly, evil, gross little thoughts I have from my body. Suck em all out of my brain with a big vacuum. Suck out all the black gunk and goo. Scrub it all off with a big toothbrush. Tear my skin off and throw all the bad stuff out with it.

>>18008019
Anon you need to chill out and take a couple breaths. I know nothing about you so I can't give you the best of advice but love isn't necessarily about being honoured. You may have been taught this over and over again but that does not mean your gf grew up with the same philosophies. There are woman out there that will respect you and love you. However it's not possible when you live with these horrible anxieties. I hope you give it some thought and reason. Begin to better yourself and learn from these situations. Please start to realise this is self inflicted harm and only you can prevent this pain.

>>18007974
Based

>>18008065
*SLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURPPPPPP*
There u go, anything else anon?

Why live if I'm neither great, talented nor beautiful?

I feel like a lot of people get an anxiously ill feeling when they see positivity in these threads. Like their depression tell them something is wrong

>>18008094
To be fair I wouldn't want to live If i thought lifes only merits were to be great, talented or beautiful

>>18006020
She's trying to trap you, watch out

>>18008019
You being a retarded prude isn't an honor to her anon

>>18008094
just because.

If any of you are about college age and thinking you might want to write or be a writer one day, DO NOT WAIT. START NOW. There will never be a better time to develop as an amateur than when you’re a student and if you make the mistake of graduating and going off into corporate world or some other sort of professional job, not only will you find it increasingly difficult to find the time and energy to write, but you’ll actually find that you’re creativity and the mood for writing is slowly but surely throttled out of you. By all means, become a civil servant, a lawyer, even a banker, whatever but DO NOT WAIT for “life experience” (which by the way, is a meme that will never come). START NOW.

>>18008149
Well maybe I will just catch up with her body count after the wedding since it doesn't matter who we sleep with, when, or why. It would be hypocrisy for her to be mad right?

You know what really pisses me off is that my mom told me to save myself to not dishonor women by sleeping around with them. She left out the part that my dad was by her later admissions a huge womanizer who was a male model with a tom selleck mustache and a trans am firebird who slept with half the women in the metropolitan area. So basically she fed me this bullshit and married the man I should have been.

>>18008219
You are being a baby.

>>18008219
How is trying to make partnership with few men and being sexually active with thise three, that is, dating people before meeting right one, remotly equal to committing adultery...hypocrisy is not accurate term fren

>>18008219
>Well maybe I will just catch up with her body count after the wedding since it doesn't matter who we sleep with, when, or why. It would be hypocrisy for her to be mad right?
This is incredibly petty and you know it won't end well for you. She asked for your forgiveness, you gave it to her. Do you even want to sleep around or do you just want to feel like you've leveled the playing field?

Covid has destroyed my social life, confidence, and given me an unhealthy coping mechanism - as someone who previously had a healthy social life and was a "normie" it has crushed me.

I haven't had meaningful social contact with anyone aside from my significant other (who I live with) for over a year now, as my close friends live several hours away, my family in a different country, and the few friends that I managed to make at uni opted to do remote learning from home this year.

I'm currently drinking two bottles of whiskey a week - my SO thinks it's only one and is chastising me over the amount when she only knows half the story.

By the grace of God I am high functioning as of right now, and will likely finish the last year of my undergrad without hiccups but am beginning to feel the encroaching and invasive (thinking about a drink at 10:30am) thoughts of alcohol dependency.

>>18008235
She tried to make partnership with lesser men who did not live her and treated her as a cum rag and threw her away when they were done with her.

And this is supposed to make me feel what? She doesn't look back on the three other men with pride. She is ashamed of them and all of these men harmed her emotionally. She cried for an hour about how much they hurt her and used her. From my perspective she is a victim of these men, but she also could have told them no. She wanted to believe in a world where she could sleep with men and then after they get what they want they fall in love and want her forever? Is she a fool? Where are there such men? In movies?

At the very best, she betrayed herself. And I am to believe she won't betray me with similar foolishness?

>tfw friend and I agreed to meet up and take walks at the park twice a month
It felt great being able to walk for two hours and stretch my legs last weekend. I'm starting to feel more at peace.

>>18008237
I don't want to sleep with other women. And it's possible she didn't want to just sleep with men. She wanted Love so she gave them sex. A bargain than doesn't even work in most fairytales. What did she think would happen. If she sucks them off enough then maybe they will get worn down and fall in love and give her a ring and a family??? It's 2021. She seems rather stupid for being that foolish right?

>>18008369
It’s quite possible that she and her exes were in love. Sometimes things do not work out. I know I thought my ex was going to give me a family. We loved one another but at some point my ex fell out of love with me and things fell apart. Sex was an expression of our love and admiration for one another as well as a means of validating the other as desirable and attractive. I don’t think wanting that makes anyone a worse person, as long as the end goal of their relationship is to stay together.

>>18008302
normies like you shouldn't even be on 4chan.

>>18008302
Just stop

>>18001806
test

I've mixed god knows how many liters of NaOH on my former job and never have I given myself chemical burns due to the chemical being in pellet form. On my current job we got delivered NaOH in tiny crystal form and now both my arms look like I got some allergy, on top of all the cleaning I had to do on the scale and around it, cause this damn thing just gets everywhere.

>>18008355
>stretch my legs
Ok, Harry Potter

>>18008369
And you were living in a fairy tale where your chastity would be rewarded. Seems like you two are made for eachother. If you really love this woman, do not hold this against her. She trusted you enough to tell you, and you forgave her.

>>18008392
If the end goal of your relationship was to stay together then your means of doing so "sex as an expression of love" was clearly not a winning means to that end. Love and a life long relationship requires sacrifice and selflessness. Neither of you were willing to make that sacrifice and in the end all you had was sex and memories.

If I am to marry this woman now, knowing she betrayed herself would require I sacrifice my own notions about honor and accept her. By her own words she says she felt used and unloved at the end of her relationships. Love requires so much more than sex, and in the late stages of life sex isn't even part of it. If I don't marry her for this past indecency, then I am not really in love with her because I am not willing to be selfless and love her with her flaws of judgment and discretion. I have never been so torn in my life. I should be mad at the scumbags with no principles who took advantage of her and didn't love her. But they are like animals just doing what their animal brains required. I think she is a victim. She believes she is too. Do I victimize her by punishing her for being tricked?

>>18008395
friend, don't let a veneer of normalcy that took years to achieve fool you. I'm just as much of a sperg as anyone else itc, and this feels like the only place I can vent under the condition of anonymity.

>>18008398
I'm confident I can get it under control again, especially as things begin to return to normalcy. I've had bad bouts with the demon drink in the past, so I know a resolution is possible.

>>18008302
It is going to be absolutely hellish but you need to tell her it's two bottles and you need to beg her forgiveness, and you need to ask her for patience while you work on it. And you need to stop cold, go to a meeting everyday. Do not let yourself spin out. You can still pull up and save your future self.

>>18008302
lol

Possible to escape the circus and stagnation that is modern life in Europe or America in order to live somewhat adventurously in China or India? This life is just miserable. If I have to keep slogging through a corporate wage slave office job for no reason than continuing to wake up everyday and do the same, by myself, all day, everyday, I will have to end it.

>>18008598
>adventurously in China or India
Implying you wouldn’t have to wageslave there too. If you want “adventure” move to the woods or go homeless.

Simenon seemed to have a bit of a fixation on the plot of a gang of eastern Europeans going around french farms and murdering people while robbing them, I've seen it several times now, either as central part of the plot or a brief mention.

>>18008635
You work jobs like English teaching or something. Hardly the same as being some “consultant” or “analyst” for an American F500.

>>18008635
Both Europe and America are either museum or a strip mall. Living in either country will reduce your life to that. Even those big mountains off in America have been turned into tourist traps and this “live in the wilderness” thing is a pipe. I don’t know how other people aren’t acutely aware of this and feeling it intensely.

>>18006795
>>18007974
Real men of quality and culture itt.

>>18008673
>live in the wilderness” thing is a pipe. I don’t know how other people aren’t acutely aware of this and feeling it intensely.
No it’s not. I can go deep into the wilderness where nobody will find you in like 1 hour and I live in a big city.

With the passage of Winter into spring I must shed my heavy clothes for another year. It pains me to bid farewell to elegance in the dark colors of a fine overcoat or leather jacket, maked by a quiet, gentle brightness of yellow or red underneath. Now comes the fruitful tones of Spring, and the warm, sticky air that will grow prohibitive by Summer, wherein my pale, cavedwelleresque contenance shall burn..
Concealed carrying is a bitch this time of year.

>>18008707
Yes, it is. I can tell you live in a city because you don’t realize how ridiculous the proposition of actually living in the wilderness alone is.

>>18001806
Nothing is worse than getting what you want and fucking it up. I don't want new experiences because I don't feel worthy or capable of moving on.

>>18008754
It is fucked, yeah. But you must be able to speak up for yourself to yourself. It is like having an immune disorder, but for things like self worth, or suppressing the urge to flagellate yourself. Even if it is a horrible outlandish prospect, you must learn to be kind to yourself. If you dont, you will eat yourself alive.

>>18001842
read how to win friends by dale carnegie and you basically know everything that is teachable. if you want to understand certain types of people better, read some robert greene afterwards but you'll soon understand that most of social skills is just practice

>>18008834
Is that book actually any good? I've heard mixed opinions.

>>18008734
Open carry an 1873 SAA clone in the summer. This is the way.

>>18008960
I dress like its Miami Vice and usualy wear a pasely buttondown open over a tanktop so I can keep an M9 in a shoulder holster my dad made me.
But that is a sick fucking idea.

Fucking hell, I don't want to live and I don't want to die. Why the fuck we're such massive contradictions? Fuck solutions and fuck confusion.

This is the greatest techno track
>https://youtu.be/2pCd4b1KGys

astrology is pretty interesting stuff

Should I feel ashamed about moving home and NEETing so I can write?

>>18009010
Isnt it? So much of the immense symbolism gets swept under the rug of basic bitch horoscopes. I have to wonder if concealing all the shit about the 7 celestial bodies and the like was intentional.
Get a copy of the Picatrix, I think it goes the most indepth.

>>18009019
No, your parents brought you into this world. And you are their responsibility. Don't say this to their faces but you should feel no remorse from your actions.

>>18009038
I should add that in 28 years old and have been out of the house since I’m 18.

>>18009044
If they are capable of supporting themselves then you should feel zero remorse about them supporting you.

>>18009065
Is that true? At my age don’t I at least have a responsibility to support myself?

>>18009077
>At my age don’t I at least have a responsibility to support myself?
If you are planning to make a family then sure but if you are not then no. Death is always standing behind us, if you want to complete a project then do it because it will not matter that you lived with your parents for one or two years in hundred years for now and 106 billion people have lived and died on this fucking planet. You are not ruining your life with drugs or gambling. It is a harmless and a comfy action. So stop taking yourself so heavily man.

>>18008666
You realize there are jobs besides consultant in America as well, right?

>>18008673
>Even those big mountains off in America have been turned into tourist traps
To be fair, if they weren't made into parks someone would have come along and blown them apart for mining. Somebody has to make money from nature, it's the American way. Also, as someone who used to work in a national park, the vast majority of tourists that go to them aren't climbing mountains. In Yellowstone 90% of visitors don't go more than half a mile from the road.

>>18004789
it is easy, i could learn it in a weekend

I'm good at being an asshole and bad at being a friend. If you want to become something great, you have to use your talents, so I'm focusing on being an asshole. I have hated a lot and received a lot of hate and have never felt so alive. What is love for others, for me it is hate.

>>18009035
thanks. i'm mainly just trying to make sense out of my natal chart.

I keep seeing patterns. Please make it stop.

>>18009285
AM is that (you)?

wow the cop who shot that kid in minneapolis last night's excuse is that she thought she was using her taser not her gun? i tend to sympathize with cops who have to enforce the law in extremely violent areas, but come on now.

can the people who want to be banned find a better way than spamming the board with porn? thanks.

1a) The being is, the non-being is not ;
1b) There are no things in themselves ;
2) Therefore the being is the thing in itself.

When I sit by the field and the sky is blue with big white clouds and the evening is orange after the rainfall, I think I could hope. But the tree next to me is sawed off, on which the birds sat and which sheltered me from the rain. And my mother just told me that they put a nail in the chestnut tree, for a bird house, and the tree bled and wouldn't stop, the only remedy being, the gardener said, burning the wound – it did not help, my mother said. And when I asked her if they had tried wrapping duct tape around the wound , she told me I could try it if I wanted to. I don't mind if the tree dies, I said.

>>18008302
Faggot.

Just found out I need to get a prescription for cunny from my therapist.

A frame of mind, so lost to the consciousness of the present moment, a thick mist which no one will be able to see thought except the one above, but for me, there are none above to take my raise hand. It’s left hanging, cold and shuttering I see the sky fall of tears from my eyes.

be honest with me /b/ros, do I deserve a 7/10 asian gf who shares my interests?

>>18009644
Yes, but only if you work hard to become a good man for your future gf.

>>18009646
pfft, if you have to do all that you might as well aim for a white one.

>>18009683
I'd settle for a white bitch, but I'd prefer an asian with charcoal coloured pubes.

I have this constant brain fog and recurring pressure in my skull. It's made focusing on anything impossible recently, when I try to read I go cross-eyed. I think my inner ear is fucked.

My mind is the hurricane. My mind is the wind. I'm crying now. Instigating sin. My mind is crying now. I'm crying now. Instigating wind. My mind is sin now. Instigating sin. The hurricane my mind is crying now. Wind. I'm crying now. Instigating in. My mind is the crying now. I'm crying now. Instigating sin. Crying now. My mind is crying now. Sin.

Dad left when I was birthed out the womb. Whom? I'll never be a groom.

I’m extremely apathetic about myself and my life. The only thing that gives me droplets of pleasure and a reason to keep living is the idea of being a good person for the sake of other people as if maybe one day I’ll find someone who really needs me to strong for them. Now, if I only had such a person. It’s a lot harder when it’s just me...

Just read something deserving the title of pure retardation, it fucking baffled me.
> Youtube video about cat removed from local library
> One of the top youtube comments : ""It helps children learn to read because they read to the cat." YES. THIS. Animals like cats and dogs have a very comforting presence to anybody that is insecure about their reading comprehension skills. This cat can't judge or tell what a person's true speaking abilities are. I've even seen students and adults alike practicing English as a non native speaker on their pets and it helps immensely."
Sure, why not, right?
> I think cats can infer whether we're saying smart or not. Dogs like a Cocker Spaniel, its just happy that you're interacting with it. A Malinois though, or a Border Collie, those things are either learning what you're saying, or they understand.
> So yea, that cat knows whos illiterate.
It's not even a kid's comment. I can't wrap my head around what I just read, feels like I'm losing hundreds of braincells every time I reread this shit.

>>18009821
>> So yea, that cat knows whos illiterate.
kek this is great

bruhhh i just found out john of st thomas wrote a book called outlines of formal logic... lol im about to read haha xD

an intoxicating consequence of no free will is that whatever happens, and however that seems, this will not have constituted me making a choice. I do not, I can not invent any choice.

i don't know why i thought that being in a relationship with someone who's my complete opposite was a good idea. as much as she's lovely sometimes, she can be a real stubborn pain in the ass, and i don't know how i'll be able to handle our conflicts. she can't seem to understand the notion of making your own partner very uncomfortable with your actions. when you choose to be in a relationship, you must understand the symbiosis that is happening, you're not a completely independent body anymore (not that you were by default, but that's a different topic)
it's sad because she does love me, but i must admit that sometimes i wish i'd have some grave accident and lost a limb so she would leave me. i don't know anymore.
can opposites really work ?

Never have I ever.

Its possible I might have to run from my problems soon. I wonder how I can stowaway to get out of England.

>>18010351
Why's that my son? Let me warn you, though you may want to, you ought to be careful about attaching yourself to the landing gears of the aircraft carriers located in airports. Little boys like you have died from falling damage after takeoff, but they don't respawn. Death in this world is not like the death in my video game worlds.

>>18010382
Obviously in a boat. Bruh

>>18010000
Digits confirm.

>>18010257
Did you post something like this before? Deja vu.

>>18010411
not on this board, but yes. i apologize for that.

>>18001811
good job brah

>>18010529
No need to apologize. It sounded like a post I saw in the feels thread before. My bad.

>>18008094
Because the laziness which led you to become neither great nor talented nor beautiful will also prevent you from doing anything about your situation.

>>18010928
Right. So why live?

>>18011058
because God is Lord and death is not an escape

“The perfect dictatorship would have the appearance of a democracy, but would basically be a prison without walls in which the prisoners would not even dream of escaping. It would essentially be a system of slavery where, through consumption and entertainment, the slaves would love their servitude."
—Aldous Huxley

>>18011094
How would “you should not kill yourself” follow from either of those things?

>>18011110
1. because the aim of life should be serving God, not "greatness, beauty, talent"
2. because death not being an escape means that death is not necessarily (and certainly not with suicide) an end to your suffering. You do not end, so the act serves only to bring Gods wrath upon you.

so there's a reason to live and a reason not to die. pretty clear.

>>18011106
SMELLdous HUXter more like LMAO

>>18011058
It is the path of least resistance, which is your preferred route.

>>18011135
And all of this is according to who? God? What if I don’t believe in God? What if I do believe in God but can’t understand why he would want me to suffer? It seems a bit cruel.

>>18007974
Guess I'm a poet then.

Sauce?

>>18011164
there are basically two ideas for why as far as I know. the first is that this reality serves to manifest Gods love, and for love to be manifest there must be real costs, real sacrifice. There must be something to gain and lose.

The other idea is that the only real cause of suffering is polytheism: it is taking as the object of your worship something other than God. In this sense God does not cause you to suffer.

I'll admit though anon that when I first replied to you I thought you were more the "omg I'm totally gonna kill myself lolz >:3" and less actually serious. If you are actually serious then I think what you should really do is just know that it will pass and take as good care of yourself as you can, and don't do it. Because it will pass.

How can my feet smell if they don't have a nose?

>>18001806
Tips for not flubbing semi-colons and looking like a total pseud? I've been reading Candide and it abuses the fuck out of semi-colons. Seeing it used so casually and often has made me feel less intimidated
I like the way it breaks up a paragraph aesthetically and want to use it to control the flow of my writing

>>18011213
Yeah, I am serious. Im not committed tO suicide but I think about it a lot, plan it out, run scenarios through my head. I’m not even the person who posted originally but it’s something on my mind.

If there’s a reason not to, I sincerely want it. Religion? I was Catholic then Orthodox; I fell out of both. It just didn’t work for me. Why? I don’t really know. I want to believe in God and believe that he has a plan for my life, but I just don’t and I can’t bring myself to. So the religious imperative, to me, is almost a non-starter. This isn’t something that can pass, I don’t think. I almost killed my self 6 years ago. I first started thinking of it maybe 4 years before that. So it’s a long time running and, I don’t know, as time goes on I’m just more and more detached, apathetic, and basically, I just want to let go.

Some of my favorite books and biggest inspirations are translations.

What does that say about me?

>>18009424
one more step in the quest to get rid of female cops

>>18011409
I've been very close once, that time I didn't do it because it would hurt people I loved. I have been somewhat close twice after that. Once faith was what helped. The other time I contacted my doctors and was put on meds that helped. That's all I really know. But I do know that when you are in it it seems an almost objective reality that everything is fucked and will stay fucked, and that once you're out that simply isn't the case anymore, and not for any obvious reason. If you are in it now then I know that you can't imagine that it could change, but I know that it can because I'm no longer in it. It seems almos tlike a kind of halucination of total negativity, but it is just that, it is not the objective reality. It will change.

>>18011221
>Yesterday, Daisy Mae and Biff
>Were groovin' on the street
>And just like in a movie
>Her hands became her feet
>Her belly button was her mouth

>Which meant she tasted what she'd speak, ooohhh
>But the funny thing is what happened to her nose, ooohhh
>It grew until it reached all of her toes, ooohhh
>Now, when people say her feet smell, they mean her nose

>>18011449
>It will change.
I have a hard time believing that but I appreciate the sentiment.

>>18008998
Waaat? Life is short enough. Time enough for death in the grave. There’s no contradictions. You’re just being lazy.

Here’s a better track.
https://soundcloud.com/d-boy-1/the-orb-pisstake

>>18011242
There are two basic reasons to use a semicolon: You can link two sentences together which rely on each other for meaning, and, use semicolons to separate items in a list where commas make the list ambiguous or confusing otherwise.
e.g.
>Some people are afraid of semicolons; I'm not one of them.
>There are three types of anon: anon, the faggot; anon, the retard; and, anon, the faggotretard, who is always talking about semicolons, and whom everyone hates.

>>18009424
Try not to sympathize with them anymore. They’re not trying to protect anyone

>>18009439
It is rude. But that’s 4chin cultchur, in’nit?

>>18011221
Moses supposes his toeses are roses but Moses supposes erroneously but Moses he knowses his toeses aren't roses so Moses supposes his toeses to be.

Is it or will it be possible to eradicate the whole species of mosquitoes from the face of this planet? It's not like it'll make much of a impact negatively anyway if they all die out right?

How much of the state of literature is a consequence of the state of our cities?

Alone Thou wanderest through space,
Profound One with the hidden face;
Thou art Poverty's great rose,
The eternal metamorphose
Of gold into the light of sun.

Thou art the mystic homeless One;
Into the world Thou never came,
Too mighty Thou, too great to name;
Voice of the storm, Song that the wild wind sings

>>18011715
Have you noticed how the media are in bed with the police state? Creativity is compromised because of the stage we’re in.
Once the revolutionary period takes shape we’ll see greater creativity.

You do see a lot now, but not so much in places like literature (probably due to the internet making seem out of date)

>>18011664
Mosquito larvae are an important food source for many fish

where do people find friends and romantic partners outside of school during a pandemic?

I met a manic pixie dream girl at a wedding reception I just got back from. Like Marla Singer stepped right out of the screen. We talked about Plato and Diogenes and Neetch and life for a few hours. I told her I have been thinking about killing myself. I think it went well; I got her number. She even seems autistic enough to browse lit desu. Abby if you are reading this, I hope the doctors don't need to do surgery on your brain, that is some really heavy stuff but you seem at peace with it, on the surface at least. My suit is wrinkled and smells like her cigarettes. I was the best man at the wedding. I did cocaine with a fat sous-chef from Hilton Head after she left.

>>18011771
I was more referring to the roving packs of basketball americans, junkies, and trash all of which goes by basically unpoliced and the fact that no one of European descent seems to want to live there because of it but you can run with that too I guess.

>>18011832
Why the fuck do they exist in land locked areas then?

>going from NEET to 12 hour night shifts full time
Pray for me.

>>18012107
In a word, capitalism. It’s the stage we’re at.
Racism sure doesn’t help matters and could be lessened with real prosperity.

>>18007912
i really want to. i also can't help but think of the gap it'd leave in my resume

Yes I watch vtubers but ONLY FOR JAPANESE PRACTICE THERE IS NO OTHER REASON OK

I'd like to leave pornography behind already. It's childish and a waste of my time, and every time I use it I regret it and find I didn't even really enjoy it. I'm tired of being a slave to my passions.

>>18009548
"Being" being a gerund makes this post absolutely fucking incomprehensible to my autistic grammar-nazi brain.

HEY JANNY

You're doing a great job lately, I don't know if you're a new guy or what but keep up the good work. Seeing all those deleted shit threads warms my heart.

Everyone report low quality and off topic threads to help the janny.

>>18001806

Kathy why can't ya love me baby? Ya makin a clown outta me. What kind of monster am I gon' become?

>>18011412
Perhaps your upbringing was too heavy-handed in attempting to instill the values of your locality, which made you want to look further outward for understanding? That's a big leap by me, though. I just like when people ask things like that.

>>18011838
They don't. People in constant fear and loneliness are easier for the elites to control.
>>18012488
https://universalman.com/series/sexual-self-mastery/

there's a large barge with a radio antenna on it
a large barge
there's a large barge with a radio antenna on it that they would charge up and discharge
there's a large barge

>>18001806
I want fuck some asshole

I do not want to work. I want to make sculptures of humans and creatures from paper and wire. It is the only thing that brings me happiness. Maybe there’s a way I can support myself doing that?

Thinking about how I've been quasi gang stalked for a decade and what the purpose of all this is.

I wonder if I will be strong enough to resist Satan when his presence because immeasurable in my life. I can see it sprouting all around me as I head deeper into the entertainment industry. My mind has become optimized and unwieldy, I thrust forth and extract kernels of competitive edge in every waking hour. I despise the large tech institutions and entertainment behemoths so I stand against their practices. All the while I'm reminded of Nietzsche when warns that one who fights monsters see it that he doesn't become one. It not so bad now, I hold my ground. But will there be time when I collapse in the name of pleasure or pride, spite or slight?

めっっっっっめっっっっっめっっっっっっっっっっっっめめめめっっっっっっめめめっっっっっっっっっっっっっっめっっっっっめえええっっっっっっっめめえっっっえっっっっっっえめめっっっっっっっっっっっっっっっっっっめええええええっっっっめまっっっまままままめめめめええええっっめえええ!め!え!め!ま!っっっっっっっっっっっっっバスケ

>>18013319
Maybe?

i want to get married and grow sugar beets and have 3+ children

The fear of destitution and ridiculous cost of living forces us to monetize our creative outlets. This makes us hate the activities that should bring us the most joy.

>>18012107
>implying NYC isn't the cleanest it has ever been
Your weird reactionary sentiments are misguided. It is more likely that nowadays there is great pressure to produce capital and constantly optimize, leading little time for leisure. This has accelerated dramatically over the last 100 years.

All of the stupid performative bullshit, all of the social media nonsense, all of the woke bullshit, all of the grifting by shitty right-wing celebrities, all of the podcasts, all of the nonsense... it's all going to end when people start getting killed.

There is going to be great and ugly killing in the United States. It's going to be partly racial, partly class-based. It's going to be mostly grounded on left-wing versus right-wing, but there will still be some fluidity among the sides. But what is absolutely certain is that there is going to be a huge amount of just butchery in the United States. People are going to start killing each other in major cities, and even in small cities and small towns. This is what a lot of people are not prepared for and it will horrify them and disturb them. Everybody lost their shit with the sack of the Capitol this past January but it is nothing compared to the butchery that is coming.

And it will shake everyone to their cores, it will terrify the Zoomers, the Millennials, the Gen Xers, the Boomers. No one will believe that it is happening, everyone will initially do a lot of social media posting, like what was happening before the killing. Everyone will be in a state of shock, thinking, no way this is real, right? But then their own friends and neighbors will start getting attacked and killed by right-wing or left-wing death squads, and they will become terrified, and frightened. All the Zoomers who posted political memes on TikTok will see people their own age shot to death and rotting and bleeding, with oozing bloody organs, in the streets, and something inside all of them will break that will not be repaired.

And there will be a great upheaval, and America will probably have its government overthrown in the process, and the entire global order of things will change. And Fukuyama will finally be proven the liar at last, as history moves again.

All of this will happen and we will all be alive to see it. The gears of history are lubricated with blood. Mars stands for WAR.

>>18013751
You sound deranged. Stop using twitter and thinking any of their bluffs mean anything. Fukuyama was right, we live in an decadent period at the end of history, nothing fundamentally challenges our hegemony. We will decay in boredom and the most conflict we’ll have is LARPing as 20th century political radicals, and even that will slowly die down. Americans are too fat, narcissistic, chauvinistic and degenerate to start picking up guns and going after targets. State-sponsored race riots is all the dissent that’s allowed.

>>18013766
race war is more profitable than class one

>>18013766
You are out of your fucking mind if you don't see mass death coming. Fukuyama is fucking wrong, history is going to will itself back to life in a birth of ugly black blood. And you are out of your mind if you don't see enterprising demagogues taking advantage of all this. Trump was the first, you think he'll be the last? Do you think some tyrant, some Caesar, won't harness the hatred of so many Americans and simply TOPPLE the United States government? Why not? What would stop him? A bunch of fat Boomers in MAGA hats already sacked the United States Capitol as a gag. Do you think a more dedicated force, a more serious tyrant, couldn't come into Washington and simply overthrow it, and murder anyone who disagreed with him?

>>18008302
>"normie"

>>18013863
>Do you think some tyrant, some Caesar, won't harness the hatred of so many Americans and simply TOPPLE the United States government?

No, because we’re decadent and no one is creative enough to think of doing such a thing. I have no idea where you get your schizo optimism from. Political “radicalism” in America is either pure LARP like with boomers going to the capital just to take some pictures, or again, manufactured social justice movements that just reinforce the system. Nothing fundamentally changes, we just slowly deteriorate and become lost in our own antipathy. You are insane if you think a country like this has any potential for another civil war or government takeover. The system is more powerful and hegemonic than you could imagine, most people still inadvertently serve its interests even when they think they rebel.

>>18013894
>The system is more powerful and hegemonic than you could imagine, most people still inadvertently serve its interests even when they think they rebel.

Until people start getting killed. Until blood starts flowing.

What does the system do then? When there starts to be killing?

>have stones in gallbladder
>can't have it operated at the time cause hospitals only do life-threatening surgery and mine isn't yet
>would probably get covid anyway if I went there
>felt short-lasting, sharp pain in that area today
It was nice knowing you, guys. I'll prepare a bag with necessities just in case, but I'm hoping it's just coincidence and it was muscle spasm or something.

>>18013863
>A bunch of fat Boomers in MAGA hats already sacked the United States Capitol as a gag.
Yes. That is why they made it this far. They were basically considered silly tourists, not an army marching towards the capitol.

>>18001806
this nigga looks like a trutle

>>18001869
It's fucking obnoxious garbage and I feel angry every time I see it on the catalog. Sage.

As much as I love playing vidya. I need to drop it.

How do you come to terms with being a schizoid? It's ruined a lot of things for me, my strong natural urge in any group is to isolate myself and view everyone else as the enemy when literally all my peers are bonding and making connections. It's like I can't view other people as anything other than something to compete with, every interaction or trip into public is a test to see how I measure up and if my self-esteem isn't particularly high I just self-isolate altogether, which just exacerbates the problem. I have no inclination to make friends at all (although I do have the need to share which can come out in strange ways), I just don't want to always create such hostile situations for myself.

Smell of a stone fruit being cut and being opened.

>>18014758
This.

>watching on how to leave a better impression on a job interview when i never get one.
ironic

I want to create a yaoi manga goddamnit what's wrong with me all of the sudden

>>18015270
You're either gay or possessed by the spirit of a teenage girl.

I am just totally lost and stagnant

>>18015479
me too. whats your situation?

>>18015514
I’m just confused to what I should be doing with my life. I just turned 27. I’m living in a place I don’t really like and working a job I don’t really like. I don’t really have any friends and no prospects for a girlfriend. The only thing I know I want to do is write but I don’t have any rock solid ideas with which I feel I could publish a really good novel. Moreover, some of the other things I like and want for myself are just confusing and I’ve been plagued by suicidal thoughts for quite a while now. I’ve made a lot of bad choices that have gotten me to this point of basically stagnant liminality and I’m just confused as to where to go from here, if anywhere at all. It might not even be worth it.

>>18015696
Did you try writing short stories and sending them to contests?

>>18015892
Here and there. I’ve not gotten anywhere with them. More often, I end up either not finishing or just becoming cripplingly judgmental or just disinterested in what I’m writing. Like I’ll think “This is shit. I might as well scrap it and move on to another.” Then I’ll waste some time trying to think of a new idea, write it out, rinse and repeat. Honestly, I’ve always liked books but I never really read voraciously or tried writing before i was maybe 24 or 25 and it was really about 26 before I even tried writing seriously. I feel I’m a bit behind the curve and I’m often unhappy with what I write.

I will never be Japanese

>>18012040
>I told her I have been thinking about killing myself. I think it went well; I got her number.
thats a bold strategy

>>18012040
>I told her I have been thinking about killing myself. I think it went well; I got her number.
I unironically fantasize about this and double lover’s suicide.

i'm becoming extremely unsympathetic towards asians and i think i'm having a hard time containing it nowadays
i'm so fucking sick of them, of their shit countries, shit culture, shit pop culture and shit music
i will fucking etch in da club in my skin before i listen to this garbage

>>18001806
you know, sometimes a lack of empathy actually means having more empathy. if socially well adjusted people get mad about some weirdo with unpopular opinions and a weird voice because they are grounded in the social reality of things then they are inferior to more autistically / "sociopathic" people in terms of truly understanding why some people are and act they way they do

just having a solid day. it's my birthday too, I turn 30 today (celebrated wiht family earlier). I spend it studying municipal politics and deciphering Guenon, with yoga and going for walks.. it's just a regular day, but a good one, a wholesome one. a fine way to start a decade, praise be.

>>18016672
happy birthday anon, I wish you a great next decade

>yarmulke

>>18016672
happy bday, sounds like a nice day

>>18016696
>>18016757
thanks anons

>>18001811
Who?

New thread.
>>18016820

>>18016823
>anime pic
rejected

>>18006107
>just switch to a major you like and waste thousands of dollars on a degree that won't get you a job