/lit/ - Literature

>reading book
>see girl
>turns out we've been fucking for 3 hours already

You don't live in a porno, OP. Sorry.

>Going to a gym.
>talking to girls
>fucking.

What the fuck kinda board do you think this is?

>come to fix the cable
>start being asked about my tool box
>slap bass
You know the drill

>>1796966
>>1796965
>>1796962
GET THE FUCK OFF MY /FIT/
BETAS EVERYONE

>>1796978
Nigga you done goofed.

>back day
>doing widehang pullups like a boss
>curlbros mirin'
>one tries to do them once I finished
>grunting like a fag, poor form
>I look him hard in the eyes when he comes down
>we have alan sex in the change room
>go to doctor a couple weeks later for STI tests
>find out I can't tell the difference between l and f

that feeling when you mistake /lit/ for /fit/.

that feeling when you see a /v/ meme in /lit/.

that feeling after reading The Lyre of Orpheus by Robertson Davies.

>>1796995
>alan sex
I lol'd

>Be at the gym
>Benchin' 1k copy of infinite jest
>Cardiobunnies be mirin
>Have rampant fucksesh
>mfw I dicked em so hard, I don't need to work on my lats for a week

>>1796994

inb4 trolls trolling trolls' trolls.

>>1797011
>implying anyone on /lit/ could bench a copy of Infinite Jest.

>>1797016
>implying anyone on /fit/ could bench a copy of Infinite Jest.

>>1797024

>presuming anyone on 4chan could bench Infinite Jest's Sparknotes

one time i lifted somebody's spirits

>>1797030

& then I lifted your car's stereo. Nice guys finish last, chump.

>>1797044
You ruined it, and should be ashamed.

>>1797048

I'll admit it was weak, but it still counted. You're the one who broke the combo.

>working out
>see a girl working out beside me
>start talking
>five minutes later fucking

So you slept with her in the locker room or do you live within a 5 minutes walk of the gym? Also, at which point did you both have showers? Or did you just sleep with her whilst showering. Sorry if I'm coming off sceptical, because I'm not, just trying to work out how the timeline of this sequence of event would have gone.

>>1797065
>slept with
I never have understand why people use this phrase.

Thanks anon for the splendid contribution to this here literature board.

5 minutes? where were you fucking?

>>1797232
I've literally slept with a lot of people.

>>1797232
>slept with
>I never have understand why people use this phrase.
It's a euthemism. Also, it's more polite than "Fucked."

>>1797261
>It's a euthemism.
an euthemism.

>>1797261
> Also, it's more polite than "Fucked."
Not if you've ever fucked somebody it isn't.

>>1797282
I personally prefer "spept with" to "had sex with" or "fucked." However, I have no problem with others using any of these descriptions.

>Not if you've ever fucked somebody it isn't.

Is this your way of saying that the act of "fucking" is different to "having sex" or sleeping with?" If so, very funny, you alpha male you.

>>1797289
My point was the very opposite.

>Read a book
>Talk to a book
>A girl walks by
>Read girl
>Fuck book
>the book was a bear
>I have been reading a bear

>>1797374
I support this.

>>1797277
A euphemism. An is for vowel sounds.

Christ /lit/

>i'm going to the cafe to read in peace and quiet
>some stupid bitch comes up to me as I sit down
>she kind of looked like vera lynn but sluttier and less pretty
>asks me if she can sit down
>Before I can even answer, she sits down anyways
>she asks me what i'm reading
>I tell her Infinite Jest
>"wow, that's a really long book." she says. "My favorite books are The Catcher in the rye, Great Gatsby, and The Brothers Karamazov"
>I tell her JD Salinger was a pedophilic Jew who married a nazi, and couldn't write, and that Fitzgerald was a worthless alcoholic, and that Dostoevsky was a hipster faggot.
>She begins to cry at this point in time, and asks me for my number.
>I dump hot coffee on her lap and walk off. As I'm going off I say 'Keep the change, bitch...' and leave to find somewhere quieter to read.

/brownbear

>>1797409
wat

>Working out
>All-woman gym
>I'm straight.

>>1797374
lolwut is that thing?

>>1797409
>>1797409
that's a terrible imitation of me.
ugh
going out tommorrow, might meet sum hot wimmenz, will report back

>>1797469
That's what you sound like to me.

Just sayin'.

Every single day you meet a new girl, she asks you what you're reading, you snarkily respond with wit, and she asks you for your number. You then proceed to tell her all her favourite books are shit, then you get up and leave. Most likely if you tried half of the stuff you say you do all the time in real life, you'd get your shit slapped.

>>1797491
>>1797491
>Every single day you meet a new girl,
i haven't met a girl for two weeks man :( been busy with essay deadlines and exams, long gone are the days where i could spend a good few hours reading at my leisure in a coffee shop.

but hopefully after my last exam i'll be back on the prowl.
also:
>implying my stories aren't 100% true.

>>1797505
I'm not saying I don't find them entertaining, I quite enjoy your stories, but I find it hard to believe you haven't gotten your ass kicked a few times.

Look at all the faggots I trolled on here. Its so easy to troll in summer. No Mods will even see this. Fuck all those mods, come at me bros. They will not do shit.

>>1797519
>>1797519
sheet nigga not all my adventures end up as rosy as the ones i talk about on here!

i ain't superman

>>1797535
O sheet niggaz, brownbear has co-opted my troll thread. Come at me brownbear turd fuck. You make all that shit up nigger and its gay as fuck.

>>1797531
>may
>summer

>>1797540
>>1797540
>brownbear you speak to girls more than i do! thats gay as fuck brah

herpyyyyyyyyy derpyyyyyyyyyyyy dooooooooooo

>>1797553
Look at how god, covers Goldblum's cock with that wave. Why does he hate Jewish dick so?

brownbear is the cancer killing /lit/

he wishes he had half the wit and trolling skill of d/e and looks up to him like he was his dad

what the fuck kind of name is "brownbear" anyway

seriously, are you a child or a giant faggot?

BB, when we meet up in June all your green text threads are either going to seem entirely plausible to me or utter bullshit. It's invariable that I'm going to judge you within seconds of meeting you, I'm afraid.

But I can't wait.

>>1797572
>>1797572
heyy look it's that faggot who tries to be one of 'anonymous' but also tries to elevate himself as some kind of spokesperson so adopts a retarded ass name.

jelly haterrrrrrrrrrrrrr detected

>>1797576
>>1797576
no problem buddy i hope we have fun

>>1797531
nigga i knew you was trollin
but i ain't said shit because i like to watch niggas get trolled
maybe next time you should make it 15 minutes. more believable

brownbear sucks