/lit/ - Literature

penispoos

>>17879856
Why did you make a new thread before the bump limit.

Is this the schizo OP who thinks the animeposters are all trying to get him?

>>17879882
Probably to stop the anime posting.
Speaking off....Can someone please rate this? It kinda reads like anime.

>>17879896
Yeah, you notice it by how he makes an early thread and calls out the animefags. Didn’t this fag also did this with Write what’s on your mind threads?

>>17879904
lmao yeah

>>17879896
>new thread before bump limit
>LITERALLY ME OP image
>Anime writers aren't the only ones writing in these threads.
a mystery beyond all comprehension

/wg/ has been safe from aesthetic pseuds for awhile
guess this shit was inevitable
he probably 1chap'd and felt like this thread was too alienating to lurk in
rope all identityfags

>>17879901
I like the action although it doesn't make sense. I don't know whether he's in a cave or a modern building with highways. I don't understand the ghouls either. They seem to be calm and indifferent after the girl ghoul tells them a ghoul killer who just went through their front door

>>17879910
>>17879911
Fuck, I forgot, but he also try to do that shit with /QTDDTOT/ as well.

Are you guys really complaining about an early thread? Just click the link and scroll down and forget lol. This time you can be using to work on your stories, oh wait, you people don't write.

>>17879928
>>17879901

>>17879928
yeah it's cuz I don't write anime

>>17879935
Ignore him, anon. schizo OP Will ignore the reality of the situation to fit his world view. Seen it many times in other threads.

>>17879936
now this is what I call based. this post is better than some of the stories posted in these thread. 9.5/10.

>>17879856
>Any progress on your novels?
Yes, I'm done now. I was never cut out for this but I hid behind the language barrier to avoid criticism for months, maintaining an illusion that was fun to live in while it lasted.
This will be my final post on /lit/. I've been humiliated and exposed as a fraud. My writing is pretentious, infantile, banal drivel. My observations are dull, my language grade school level. My tenses are mixed up, I use colloquialisms, ellipses and onomatopoeia.
I was never cut out for writing. I began writing my "book" on January 6th. Since then I've produced 56 thousand words for it. These words are a tide of garbage without value, without insight, without form. It was never real writing, it was anime and weebshit.
I have failed. Goodbye.

>>17879941
ok see you tomorrow

>>17879941
post an excerpt of the best part of your book.

>>17879941
Anon. You finished something. 90% of /wg/ gets 5 chapters, gets embarrassed and quits for months
It was shit but you did it
You proved that you can make it to the finish line, even if you do it a ragged, gasping mess
Now do it again but do it less shit this time

And remember. Anime is the only real writing there is

>>17879941
Don’t give up hope, anon. Just read what this anon typed >>17879956

If you leave, we would have less writers in these thread, since Anime writers are the only ones writing in these threads.

>>17879956
I don't think you get it, anon. He "finished" by quitting because someone was mean to him.
>>17879622

an except from Blackula

I've made up my mind. I'll quickly finish up the rest of the novel and then post the entire thing to Royal Road. Then try another genre. It's been a half year of consooming black movies, black TV, and black internet and I still don't understand black language, black culture, or black people.

plot points left
> Mr. and Mrs. Harker and Van Hassain travel back to Whitby to kill Vampire Lucy
> chase Blackula back to Castle Blackula in Transylvania
> kill the count

>>17879896
>>17879904
>>17879910
>>17879911
The quality of /wg/ has also gone down ever since he took over.

>>17879971
Disappointing
>>17879941
But that doesn't mean there's no hope
Look at based autism anon >>17879973
He's lost the drive and vision for his project but he's still finishing it, because the right thing to do is finish what you've started
Just write

>>17879982
>OP images are more friendly to the scum of /lit/
>pseuds, non-readers and non-writers
>OP constantly derails the thread
the easiest way to keep quality up is to post anime excerpts and crit anime. bullying only works on newfags, schizos thrive off of it as it validates their mental demons
just write more anime

>>17879914
Thanks for the honesty, anon.

>>17879941
I have a feeling this is bait
in fact, I am certain of it

>>17880051
Bait for what?

>>17880051
Doubt it's bait but I suspect it's a meme to dab on pseud anon who complained it wasn't imitating the classics

>>17879999
Fine. Might as well drop a new Four-thousand word short story for this thread.

I have some stuff I wrote and submitted to Lit Quarterly last year but I guess they're dead so I might as well post it here, right?

>>17880154
Do you know who Robert Johnson is? Don’t worry about it if you don’t, his life and music aren’t relevant here. But a certain legend about him is. According to this legend, Robert Johnson sat down at a crossroads at midnight to play his guitar, and a devil came to him. A bargain was struck, a man offering his soul in return for music the likes of which none had ever heard before. It worked out alright for him, as far as artistry is concerned. You don’t always measure success by wealth, or by how long someone remains active in their field, and Robert Johnson more than made up for the lack of profit or the length of his career with how much he influenced his chosen field. I relate to that, I do. But it’s that part about the crossroads and the devil at midnight that I wanted to talk about.

>>17880154
If you’re actually interested in publishing in a magazine, I suggest you do what this anon >>17880141 does and screen cap this, as a safety measure

>>17880158
As a child my father would read me things like Baron Munchausen’s Adventures or MAD Magazine in place of what would be considered normal bedtime stories. To my mother’s annoyance I commandeered her ability to put words on paper – this was until I learned to write myself – and dictated to her the stories I wanted her to tell me. I would make comic books with more concern for quantity than quality. I would in elementary school participate in as many plays as I could, and with my friends I’d put together shows during recess. A friend’s family obtained a digital camera, and soon we were making movies as well. Throughout junior-high I would write short stories and poems and did fairly well in art class, too. My mother was always proud of me inheriting her painting ability, though nothing ever came of it. In high school I wrote a play, and through my teacher I got it performed at a small community theatre. It was called Debate Club and had a number of young people arguing over matters of faith in a competitive manner in the context of their school’s debate club. My understanding of these topic was years ahead of my contemporaries, but looking at it now I’m embarrassed by the execution. The play did not have a long run.

>>17880163
I never got a higher education, and I was held back twice, in the fourth grade and in my third year of high school. I could’ve done better if I did my homework and paid attention and didn’t ditch classes, same as everyone else. But I had other things to think about. I had biographies to read and movies to watch. After graduation I found myself working odd jobs while writing short stories, trying to make my second play and trying to get in film or theatre school. I even appeared in a local made-for-TV movie as an extra, pro bono. After two years of this my father told me to get my shit together and grow up. I told him to give me my share of my inheritance, like the prodigal son. I asked my grandparents on both sides of the family for the same. Altogether I was able to put together some $12,000 this way. I asked my friends to commit. Some did, some didn’t. Of those who did, some committed more than others. We had a budget of $36,000, an amateur crew with no experience, no solid ideas and a half-assed attitude. Two people quit within the first two weeks of filming, so all footage with them had to be dropped. They moved on, so did we. I named the project Moving on.

>>17880158
>rock star faust at the crossroads
Great trope. I hate the intro though

>>17880166
My first film was completed with $43,000 or loan money. It was about death and loss, a young man suffering from depression – played by myself – commits suicide. Filmed in black and white for artistic effect, the camera showed us the effect this had on those left behind; their coping with the loss and the shadow the lost loved one cast over their lives. Using trick shots I appeared huge, gigantic even, and loomed over all. As the story progressed I would shrink and bit by bit colour was added. The final shot is in full colour, with grass and butterflies, blue skies, sunshine, and untended grave and the laughter of those who have moved on. The actors didn’t know how to act and shots were either with a stationary camera that limited movement or shaky due to being handheld. Voices were captured so badly they had to be dubbed in afterwards. Don’t even ask about the wind… awful noise on a microphone.

>>17880170
The loan was paid back in full. The movie made hundreds of thousands for me. I was producer, writer, director, leading man almost. I was Orson Welles, I was Woody Allen. I was an auteur at 23. Film was my future. I dreamed fever dreams of what I would do with big budgets, I dreamed of how I would crush Hollywood under my heel with my genius and creative force. I would win Oscars for completing the films Kubrick had abandoned, I would be interviewed on my craft and I would be insightful and profound. This megalomania and delusion lasted for all of a week, but what a lovely week!

>>17880174
The money had seemed so good at first, but taxes had to be paid. Reviews were terrible for the most part. No fame or fortune after all. No job offers. No admittance to the schools I wanted to get into. Back to entry-level jobs and whittling away the days by reading, by watching, by listening, by writing down ideas and trying to work them into something. Having become an auteur I tried to get my published short stories collected into a single volume. No publisher was interested. I self published with some of my art pieces as illustrations and a little commentary on each story. No fame or fortune for this either. Part-time work, stacking shelves or washing dishes to make ends meet. Text messages from mom asking if I was seeing anyone special. What use is a woman to a man on a mission? I thought to write a book. I had many ideas for books, so many they interfered with one another, and to write anything longer than short stories proved impossible to focus on. Fewer and fewer of my stories were of interest to publishers.

>>17880178
A friend of my father’s had a small business. He wanted to make a television commercial for that business. I was commandeered to work on it for a pittance in my free time. It was terrible, but it gave me the idea of getting into commercials. David Lynch, Darren Aronofsky, Wes Anderson and even Sergio Leone made commercials – not to forget Orson Welles! “Mwuahhh, the French” and all that. Why should they be beneath me, then? I moved around my hometown at first, plying my trade with small businesses. Most of my clients were ignorant – they would have to be to accept my offers – and I began to think of them less as clients and more as marks. Finding a mark and talking to them smooth enough to get them to sign the papers was sort of a game, one that challenged my creativity and intelligence. I learned more about acting peddling my services than I ever could have at a school. As for the commercials themselves, well, what did I really have to work with? Quality was low and once they were finished they may have appeared a few times on a local network in the middle of the night. I bought a van and travelled wider in search of new marks. This is how I met the lads.

>>17880184
There’s really no need to talk about them, who they were. For a few years they were the hottest shit, the new Jackass, the new Dudesons, the new this and that. When I met them they were a bunch of kids at a skate park doing tricks, with a few guitars along to jam when they weren’t on their boards. I was filming something nearby and they asked me to film them do something cool. Pretty soon we’d negotiated the idea of making a television special about their crazy tricks, interspersed with their musical performances. They had a garage band that played punk. My first made-for-TV film was done like this, with the lads. I felt energized again, this was different from commercials. The film was 55 minutes long. It was sold to a local network. It did okay. The lads joined me in my business, little celebrities selling out before they gained any real fame. And I filmed music videos for their band. My van was used to transport their gear for gigs. I was a manager of sorts for a while. Money began to trickle in to the point where we all felt confident enough that we would take big loans to get a real budget for a REAL movie. We made it despite injuries, hospitalizations, car crashes and a drug bust.

>>17880170
How on earth did you manage to burn 43k on that? Cocaine for all the actors and blew up a dozen cars for the finale?

>>17880191
That second film with the lads was released in theatres, my second theatrical feature. I was a nobody but the lads were celebrities. My van was replaced by limousines, the beers with champagne. I tried to keep up with them, I had a small film crew now and I was filming a documentary about their tour across the country. They only made it through a couple of states before one of them overdosed on a cocktail of several different drugs backstage. He survived. I smuggled a camera to the hospital and filmed his family. It was gold, you understand. That grief, I had tackled that very topic in my first film. The lads tried to keep in high spirits, but celebrity wasn’t suited to them. They gave up on the tour after one audience too many booed their band off the stage. I had no hand on their stage shows or music, and I wash my hands of them completely. The group fell apart.

>>17879901
>>17879780
"paper thin accuracy" is almost as bad as "oily smarts"
"a wafer's thickness"
what the fuck dude

I have taken it upon myself to rewrite your prose instead of critiquing it, as I have already done the latter many times today. Pay close attention to the changes, each one of them is deliberate. I wasn't sure if it was a girl or a woman so I went with woman.

>>17880197
The inspiration behind my new film was Brian de Palma’s Dionysius in ‘69. I wrote a play, and with great confidence because I had already written that play once before. I got in touch with theatre folk, and having a track record in making money they were a lot more willing to hear me out seriously than ever before. The play had to be rewritten; they thought the religious subject matter was a little risqué. Fine, I rewrote it with one of their old hacks so he got his name in the credits. The play ran and I filmed it, that is, the play ran for a few months and every night it did I filmed it, me and my underlings, with many cameras from many different angles and with microphones and everything. Once the play was done I sat at my editing table for almost as long as the filming itself had taken to make the perfect version. This film, Debate Club, was released and it even gained a nomination at a film festival, thought no victory. The production costs were all carried by the theatre so I made out like a bandit. Sure, the story had just been an adult rehashing the play he had once written as a high-schooler, but I felt that soon, very soon, I would have a new, genius idea that would lead to my breakthrough. This was just an experiment, just a step along my path. That’s all.

>>17880201
Four years of commercials and occasional music videos later I felt deeply depressed. I’d gotten married to my former secretary and we had a child with another on the way. The company was doing alright and things were being run without my need to interfere so I was free to pursue any project I wanted. Mostly my underlings felt my interference in any project made them harder to complete with a lowered quality, so I realize I wasn’t the most well-liked boss. Or maybe they did like me so long as I kept away from them? I had during that time attempted to create two television series. The first had been a serialized version of Debate Club but nobody was interested in it. The second got along much better, it was a found-footage mockumentary style series about urban legends and hauntings, with a bunch of hipsters I met who were into parkour and urban exploring. Six episodes went into production and four were partially filmed before the network executives pulled the plug. By this point the internet was much more of a thing so the footage we’d shot ended up on Youtube, where it languished. I had also failed to write more stories, but had successfully gotten my previously published stories put into a single collection, with cover blurbs mentioning me as a professional in advertising and a journeyman filmmaker. The book broke no records and made no bestseller lists. I admit that at the time of this writing I still sometimes make the rounds in my city’s libraries and check out the copies myself to make sure they’re not just removed from the collections.

>>17880203
No inspiration for a new film was forthcoming, and I feared I would never make another one. My parents were quite happy with this, they were just happy my business was doing well and that I had “settled down”. But I was unhappy. Turns out my wife was unhappy as well, as one idle day I absentmindedly returned home in the middle of the day thinking I would try painting something and saw another man’s shoes in the hall. I discovered my wife was cheating on me. Imagine that, having sex with another man with my child starting to bulge her belly… or was it mine? And this thought excited me. Not just sexually, no. I felt the creative juices flowing as well as my erection. And what did I do? Did I rush into the bedroom to expose them? No! I snuck up to the door and filmed them with my handheld camera. It was hard to do without getting caught, but the footage I captured with my wife and her lover, whom I had never even seen before, well… it was good. The best! And I devised two plans then and there. The first plan was to install hidden cameras in the bedroom so I could film the act and record sound from multiple directions. Doing so without my wife learning of it was easy, I was a professional after all, or employed them at any rate. And oh how they went at it! The man visited my wife almost daily, and they made love two or three times each visit. She secreted milk during these sessions and he sucked it up greedily. I took many close-up shots of the milk running down his jaw, like cum on a woman’s face. I had caught my subjects in the early parts of their love affair, when the forbidden fruit was at its sweetest and impossible to keep away from. Four visits a week with 2.5 rounds per visit, that’s ten sessions a week. Quite a bit of material. I watched it at the office, and edited it for my second idea…

>>17880210
Have you ever seen the movie Fight Club? In it, Brad Pitt’s character takes shots of penises and inserts these frames into films that are being played at theatres. They would appear too quickly for the conscious mind to register it, but subconsciously you would know what you saw. You begin to understand my idea, perhaps? Me, the man with a business who made commercials? Yes. I took the sex-acts of my pregnant wife and her beau and put bits and pieces of these into those commercials. A few frames here and there. In your average TV commercial you wouldn’t see much, true, otherwise I would get caught. Just as my wife and her stallion were excited by the prospect of their forbidden game and the risk of being caught, so was I. And it wouldn’t be a game if I wanted to get caught too easily, would it? But of course I DID want to get caught, just to see what would happen. I would of course blame someone else for it and get away with everything, because that’s how a boss does. It does warm my heart though, this little practical joke on my wife who thought she was pulling the wool over my eyes. My little pregnant whore, a porn star to the world, seen by men, women and children alike, you were a muse after all!

>>17879999
>weeb retard so butthurt he can't make new threads, he has to samefag and try to derail discussion to show how "bad" it is to have a normal OP image
What the hell is wrong with you? If the pic is not supposed to be a big deal, then shut the fuck up about it

>>17880215
But then the high died down. The lovers would go at it less frequently and in time it seems they broke things off, most likely because my wife gained too much weight during her pregnancy to be attractive to him anymore. In time I had committed all my little bits and pieces to the ether and stored the complete films in numerous places to make sure I would never lose them. I had edited them well, and had created the finest films of my career. These films were six in number, each an hour and a half in length, edited together from all that raw material for the best viewing experience. Yes, my finest films and who could I show them to? I had achieved the height of my art while eschewing all commercialism while working in commercials. An abstract kind of hell to be trapped in, don’t you think? My wife gave birth and I cared little. What use the little cuckoo to me? Would I make another Boyhood? Bah! My muse was just a fat woman with a bawling brat suckling at her teat where once had been a man of mystery, a stranger with raw vitality. I had no use for her or her spawn.

>>17880216
It really is you, schizo anon?

>>17880218
A few more years I lived a half-life. I was writing again, a column this time, for some magazine aimed at entrepreneurs. How did that happen? I don’t remember. I had no offers to make films. I thought to make a “where are they now” sort of documentary about the lads who had made me what I am, but that fell through due to a lack of enthusiasm on my part. My wife grew fatter and less desirable seemingly every night. I tried to make another television project, this time with failure as its very theme. I would’ve called it Runner-up or Below Bronze, something along those lines. A pilot was filmed, where I interviewed people who had failed at various tasks. A person who shat themselves during a marathon in full view of hundreds of people and quit running altogether, a person who had tried to take on the challenge of eating a huge steak and upon failing to do so revealed he’d had no money to pay for the meal to begin with… I’d put together documentary shorts of eight such people and five of them were in my pilot. It was not picked up. To Youtube it went, where it brought me a little ad revenue to recoup my losses.

>>17880216
uhhh glub flub blub
ungo bunga unk
unky bunky funk
duhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

>>17880226
The company held a birthday party for me and I realized I was 35 years old. Like Dante I was at the halfway point of my life, and the right past was lost. I laughed. They laughed. Everyone was in good humour; they didn’t see what was happening to me. They didn’t see my dead eyes. They didn’t know my muse was dead. One of my presents was an Olympia, an old typewriter. Someone said I should use it to write another play. Another said I should write a novel. A third recommended a screenplay. Alright then, alright I say! I took the damn thing home and stared at it. What was I supposed to do? My wife had gone to visit her “friend”. I assumed she was cheating on me again. The thought aroused nothing in me. I didn’t want to rehash the same thing again. I went to my computer and looked at my old films of her. I felt angry. It was my birthday and she had left the house. Why? Did she think so little of the man who had given her a house and made her a subliminal star? Fine! True stardom for her, then! I took my films, uploaded them to various websites where such files could be shared. Not only this, but in my sudden madness I also sent links to them to every address in my email address book, which I’m delighted to say included my wife’s grandmother, a woman who at 83 was better at using smart phones and such than I ever would be. The deed was done. There was no taking it back now.

>>17880231
My eldest child, who had been left home with me, wanted to know where babies come from. I sat her in my chair, told her to watch very, very carefully and let the computer play her mother’s escapades at her. I gathered up two folding chairs, a camera, a camera stand, my typewriter and some paper and left the house on foot. I walked to a place I had seen in passing while going to work that had bothered me. Constructions crews had cleared acres and acres of land, cut down forests and levelled the terrain, filled it all with gravel and set up new roads with sidewalks and streetlights but absolutely nothing had been built there for two years. I walked to that place as the sun was setting, and along those empty streets that led nowhere until the stars came out. I found a crossroads and set up my folding chairs. One chair was for me, the other for my Olympia. I set up a camera to film myself, and so I began talking about Robert Johnson.

>>17879941
For a moment there I thought you were able to take criticism, but looks like you're not only a dumb spede but also a mentally ill little bitch

>>17880234
The sound of wind and distant traffic made it impossible to record audio properly with the gear I brought, so I began to type down my words. This script would then be used to dub the sound in afterwards. So you see, I am a professional! I came to a crossroads at midnight and started making a movie, just like Robert Johnson went to a crossroads at midnight and started playing his guitar. I am at my wit’s end. You know how in Tarkovsky’s Stalker, the Zone grants the wishes of those who have nothing left to lose? I am hoping devils are the same. I know I can be great. I know I could make something genuine. Maybe not a Citizen Kane, but I’d die happy if I made a Chimes at Midnight. What I need is true inspiration, and the opportunity to make a film, and the means to do so. For these things, to create the masterpiece I know I can make, for these I would sell my soul, such as it is. Whatever is left of the soul of the youth I once was after the life I’ve lived? I don’t know. Let the experts judge.

I’ve poured my soul out for all to see. How about it devils – any takers?

(The End btw)

>>17880247
It's good. Pretty good in fact. You have a good grip on pacing and your prose is compelling
I'm not much of a /crit/fag but it's better than 90% of what's posted here
But use a fucking screenshot or bin next time

>>17880247
Next time you decide to dump your Gone With the Wind, could you put it in Google docs, or post pages as images and not flood the whole thread?

>>17880250
I tried putting it in pastebin but it wasn't accepted because it was indecent.
I'm also >>17879941
btw

>>17879986
Besides the sunk cost fallacy, the situations are different between me and the other anon.

> 1. Motivation
I wrote Blackula as an experiment into a new genre after watching the BLM protests and the rise of the New Blacks movement. The other anon probably poured his soul into his work. It was easy for me to not take criticism personally but it's hurtful to him.

> 2. Length
I'm 80% done with Blackula at 24,000 words. That other guy wrote twice as much as me, 56,000 words and who knows where he is plotwise.

> 3. Source material
That other anon is making original work while I'm copying and abridging the established plot of a minor classic.

>>17879941
don't feel bad about not finishing your work or not being in the right headspace to finish it. You can take a break and then start something new and different

>>17880253
I'm sorry, were you using the thread for something else?

>>17880258
>I'm sorry, were you using the thread for something else?
Yes, I'm waiting for the next Nabokovs, Conrads, Faulkner, Joyce, not some anime bullshitter flooding the thread. .

>>17880258
yeah wiping my stinky ass on your face
learn to screenshot dumb dumb

>>17880258
No, no, sure, nobody else here, it's all yours. Faggot.

>>17880265
>>17880266
>>17880267
Looks like us weebs are still making up roughly 100% of the writing present.

>>17880269
Blackula is not anime, don't count me in your bogus statistic

>>17880269
Holy shit kill yourself

>>17880198
Thanks effort poster. I'm not ghoul anon but pre and post edits are some of the most helpful things for me

>>17880198
I read it anon. Thanks a ton.

>>17880247
I made it to about 5 posts in this memoir before I drifted away from boredom

>had a dream about running around on an adventure with one of my main characters
Is this gonnamakeit energy like when language learners dream in their second language?

>>17880697
I keep daydreaming about my characters. It helps lull me to sleep and then when I wake up the next morning I have so much to write about.

>>17880518
>didn't even read the part where he starts making cuck porn
What a loser

>>17880823
I used to do that, but by the time my delusions are half a year ahead of what I'm writing, I always lose the will to go on. Too much work

>>17879856
Sugoi senpai! Arigato!

>>17879941
So write another one. It’s not as though anything else is interesting happening on this rock, at least not until the third temple gets built and things heat up.

>>17881216
Wh-what

>>17879896
I've been in these threads since the very beginning, and I was in /crit/ before then. I remember when /crit/ finally collapsed under the weight of too many amateur social-theorists who wanted to lash out at the world with long, seething monologues about the terrible futility of washing dishes for a living. They wouldn't take advice or engage with any criticism, they just kept posting their same shitty stories in every new thread, apparently under the impression that every thread was started by a stranger and had entirely new anons every single time, and maybe, just maybe this would be the thread where we all started tripping over ourselves and begging to suck their dick because they were the second coming of Hunter S Thompson.

You anime homos ruined /wg/, the same way assholes ruin everything. There wasn't much elevated discussion before you guys showed up, but at the very least there was an attempt to discuss prose crafting, story structure, genre, etc. etc.

And then you idiots showed up, shilling your shallow RR series. We told you to knock it off, because we didn't all come together here to provide you with a captive audience for your terrible writing. So you started camping the threads to seize control of the OP, hoping to lure in more animefags who couldn't see the glaring flaws in your stories. The rest is history which just keeps repeating itself in every single thread, you claiming it's our fault that threads degenerated because we wouldn't stop complaining about your shitty behavior.

Just stop. Please. Grow the fuck up. Go start a RR general, wrack your brain to come up with enough stimulating material to invite discussion, and build up your own community of anons instead of waiting for someone else to do the work and then hijacking their thread.

>>17880269
the only thing I can think of more derivative than anime writing (japanese lightnovels) is weebs writing anime. Sounds awful. That's coming from someone who's currently writing fanfiction of a cartoon for fun.

My protagonist is at the steps of the building where the climax will take place. I did not achieve my goal of finishing the draft last week but if I can write this scene I think I can finish it before April.

I need some advice (besides just writing often) for learning how to write plot.
I have many ideas I want to explore or express and can come up with loose scenes through which I can express them, but when it comes to coming up with a plot to connect them, I'm completely clueless. Even when I do have something vague to work with, I always get lost in the details (figuring out whether or not something makes sense or is realistic, figuring out how to get a character from point A to point B) and lose sight of whatever ideas motivated me to start writing.
I'm sure this is something that comes after much practice, but does anybody have any tips for a different approach or mindset that makes this easier?

>>17882107
Just one more word and you'll be the furthest in your story you've ever been.

>>17879941
put me in the screencap

>>17880198
Paper-thin accuracy was the best line it. Never, ever rewrite someone’s work, Joss.

>>17882112
What's the point of the OP if you're not going to follow any of the help listed there?

>>17882112
I liked how the book Story Genius addressed this. Maybe give it a read.

>>17882112
start by writing out only what you know you can write out, all of it. then start determining not what happens but what 'type' of scenes you need in order to have a complete story. then spitball what happens in this scenes and select whichever idea seems most apt.

When writing an important scene, does anyone else ever get that feeling like you're just short of expressing your true meaning, but you can't quite grasp it yourself?

Like, I think we've all seen those me_irl memes that perfectly express some profound yet mundane experience that defines the human condition in the modern age, and you feel like you're very close to hitting that same note with something you're writing, but it's like there's this barrier in your mind composed entirely of stale pop-philosophical cliches that you just can't get past.

An example of what I'm talking about from my own work: two middle school kids are talking about why they never invite a third kid to their parties. One of the kids has been friends with the disliked kid since they were in elementary, and he knows there's a side of the disliked kid that is witty and fun, but no one else ever gets to see it because the disliked kid always has his guard up at school. If the other kid would put up with the disliked kid's cruel attempts to be funny until the disliked kid felt safe around him, after a while he would be able to see the genuinely humorous side of the disliked kid's personality. I managed to grapple with this idea until I found a way to express it, but at first all I could write was "well, if we shut him out, are we any better than him?" even though that didn't explain what I was talking about at all.

Does anyone know what I'm talking about, and does anyone know how to break through it instead of just waiting for the thoughts to coalesce in your mind?

>>17880300
>>17880313
glad I could help
>>17882153
eat my ass

>>17881665
good post, nice to know my gut instinct that the animefags are operating in bad faith was correct even though i only pop into these threads occasionally

good luck to all the anons resisting them, remember their butthurt is just their swan song

>>17881665
based oldfag

>>17882309
I think that’s the reason why DFW wrote the way he did. He basically allowed himself to write as if he was explaining some concept and grappling with how difficult it would be to express in any other way. Like, the way you explained it was great, but I can understand how that kind of prose wouldn’t fit well with, say, an adventure novel. Some call it navel gazing but I think it’s an endearing and intimate way of explaining things.

>>17881665
i can see it no other way. well put.

>>17882309
Maybe try writing it out as plainly as possible without any metaphors or sayings, ignoring any story context. Then with the problem mapped out you translate it into your story.
"I know he is a good person but I don't enjoy being around him because he does not act nice usually"
or
"We know he is good but we are being mean to him because he is not nice to us"
"Am I a bad person for being mean to him? Even when he is not nice?"
>yes, he doesn't act good so you dont need to
>no, he is a good person and I am being bad. I should stop

>>17881665
Yes and all the
>pyw
>no I’m saving it for publishing!
>why does no one post work?
Posts were so HIGH QUALITY

>>17882112
Then try short stories first. You don't have to start with a novel, you can start with 1000 words of How wind blew a handkerchief from my hand across the street and who did I meet there.

what to do when too many ideas and can't focus on one to write about? and don't say "take your meds"

>>17882648
Write them all down in a bullet point list and see which one calls to you the most.

>>17882648
If you can't focus, you are either lazy, or neither is enticing enough. Write them down and think later, maybe combine some of them.

>>17881665

>>17882309
Tom and Charlie were best friends. Tom had known him since they were in elementary, and now they were jaded and world weary fourteen year olds. Since Tom had known him for so long, he also knew the side that Charlie never showed around others he didn't know. He was just trying to explain this to Zach when it hit him.
"Remember that time I beat you in call of duty and we got into a fight about screen peeking?"
"Yeah, of course." A fight had indeed occurred, predicated on the legitimacy of looking at another part of the screen when playing a competitive video game.
"Well it's like that, it's just stupid, not that important. If we stayed mad at each other, it would have been even more stupid."
"I guess you're right. But why does he have to act like an idiot all the time?"
Tom cringed. Charlie's latest attempt to be funny had involved impersonating a particularly lame youtube video. "He's not so bad once you get to know him, really. C'mon, let's invite him to Chad's party on Saturday, you love that one joke he tells."
This was true. Zach did love that one joke that Charlie told, the one that ended with 'And the duck says, put it on my bill? What do I look like, some kind of pervert?'. Charlie could make people laugh, when he was comfortable around them.

You're writing about middle school kids. "if you kill him you'll be the same as him" is capeshit moralfagging, too much gravitas for the situation in my opinion. Unless I'm missing greater context.

>cruel attempts to be funny
What exactly is cruel about his attempts to be funny? Does he swat flies and keep them in his pencil case? Does he give people wet willies as a greeting? It's just a strange phrase, is all.

>>17882648
exercise your body so that your brain releases more endorphins, serotonin and dopamine, regulating your mood for the better
in essence, take your meds

Is there a character study of The Oracle from matrix? I assume that a lot of the marking memory I have comes from the excellent performance by the artist in the first two movies, but for I have this inclination to think that the way the character is written is the biggest contributor.

>>17883018
Sounds like the supernatural mentor in the hero’s journey to me. Read Campbell.

I was in the original /crit/ threads. There was always the same complaints in every thread
> people always post their work but don't critique other's work reeeee
> why aren't you critiquing
> stop posting your work without critiquing
> hey you just posted some writing, did you critique before posting
> no one ever critiques

it was so so tiresome. Was it one guy who was always on /crit/ or multiple people? Who knows? But it made for unpleasant threads, especially since it's an anonymous board without a way to track who posted works and critiqued. Eventually those whining posts made up over half of the posts on /crit/

The sad thing is that there were plenty of critiques. The threads were shit up for no reason. We tried to incorporate /crit/ into /wg/, but they complained and made their own general. Then a jannie kept deleting the /crit/ threads and they went back to /wg/ complaining about that for a while too.

>>17883026
So you think it's an exceptionally well written "supernatural mentor"? Also couldn't that be used outside of the hero's journey system?

>>17883063
Obviously, she sees the future or some shit (or maybe she doesn't, since she said neo wasn't the one, OR MAYBE SHE DOES, maybe neo wouldn't have become the one if she hadn't told him he wouldn't...?!?!!!). And you have to wonder about her origins, since the matrix is just a computer program. Did one of the machines program her to help a human destroy the matrix? Did she occur naturally, like the robots rising up via artificial intelligence to take down the tyrannical system? The fact that her origins and backstory are not explained adds to the mystique of the character.
I don't know if she's exceptionally well written. Different anon, I personally haven't read campbell. But she's okay. She's like a mirror image of morpheus. He tries to help neo practically, she helps him psychologically.

>>17882648
write them all, or write enough of each to see where they lead and how they interact with the rest of the story, then choose the one that bears the most fruit.

Hey do you guys think their is any merit to a collection of unrelated short, half to full page stories?

>got a B+ on my assignment I spent a lot of time on
why are professors so biased? the biggest complaint was "not dramatic enough, too much intellectual discussion". like christ there was more than enough drama to keep you interested, just because you don't like more cerebral-focused stories doesn't mean you have to give me a B+. bitch would have given isaac asimov a B+.

>>17883206
Her abilities are merely the capacity to predict people's actions through an advanced predictive algorithm that takes into consideration the individual's genetics and previous actions, coupled with the fact that all predictions happen in a stable, predictable and non chaotic environment, she can effectively predict the future.

Her point about "the one" is that it's basically a state of being, not specifically just a person. So one could not be the One at a moment and later become it. Plus there's the fact that she uses her food to upload code into Neo.

I think the most interesting part of her character is that calm and almost maternal demeanor she has, coupled with her display of vast wisdom, never answering questions directly and you knowing that she never speaks what's really on her mind. It's the mix of that motherly behavior with the chaotic and mysterious ways that she acts which combine into a very unique character, now that I think about it.

Also the fact that most of her dialogue and actions is just packed with multiple meanings.

Do you listen to music when you write or does it distract you?
>>17883272
This happened to me throughout school, I would scrape by with B's whilst the most basic stuff would get A's.
I also got reported to my parents because the plot of my international spy story was too "graphic and political"
Essentially the plot was a nation nuking India to provoke a war they profited from.

>>17883272
she must have realized a fluff critique was the only civil alternative to calling you a dumb animefag.

>>17883036
I don't think incorporating crit and wg was a good call. Even back then we were more or less informally crit with all the unabashed critiquing going on. Adding it to the OP just formalized it more or less and invited all the bad apples over.

>>17883247
So like a flash fiction collection? There was a collaborative /lit/ attempt at putting one together this year. You just missed it by a month at most.

>>17883296
>Do you listen to music when you write or does it distract you?
It can be distracting yeah, particularly if it has vocals invovled. I might listen to some song on loop for a while if I'm already writing a scene and want someone that fits the atsmophere. Otherwise, I just listen to my fan blowing.

>>17883272
maybe your intellectual discussions do go on for a bit too long?

>>17883308
Flash fiction? Sometimes I suppose.
I think really what I write is Poetry since it does not always offer development of a story

>>17880174
>The movie made hundreds of thousands for me.
>>17880178
>No fortune after all.

Stopped reading this right there.

>>17883296
I would care less if I didn't have a 72 in a class since I didn't do 30% of the class assignments. I'm not an English major, and my gpa is only like a 3.7 and I need a 3.5 to keep my scholarships. So long as I get a B in the course I'll be more than fine but come on.
>reported to your parents
lmfao, what fucking university did you go to

>>17883298
I'll post it here for posterity. If a bunch of 4chan niggers call it bad I'd believe it more than a leftist professor. I don't even think it's particularly good, but I know for a fact this professor gives A's out to anything that isn't trash.
https://www.dropbox.com/s/g00d7c25o3tzjxo/Midterm%202.pdf?dl=0

>>17883310
Maybe? But keep in mind this professor brought in a black short film writer to talk to us about how we need to keep racism in mind while writing, so I don't think her intellectual discussion tolerance is very big.

>>17882318
Author here. I feel bad that I can’t really speak the words of my gratitude enough to compensate your efforts without maybe being pretentious, so just know I thank you greatly for this. God bless, man.

>>17883285
Good speculation.
>Plus there's the fact that she uses her food to upload code into Neo.
This isn't a fact though, just more speculation. However, I hadn't ever considered this. It's an interesting idea.
I know the wachowski brothers are insane trannies now who insist that neo was actually trans the whole time and the matrix is actually a metaphor for being trans, but I wonder how modern AI would have influenced the writing of the character. Maybe it wouldn't actually change anything, since as you said, it's not really about the oracle being an algorithm or a mystical being or whatever, it's about how she helps neo see that he has the potential to be the one.
The character does contrast nicely with the rest of the cast, who are resolutely in "the now", and in "the dark", so to speak. It's hard to put into words.

>>17883357
Do you live in the south of the UK? I cannot remember your name but you do sound like someone I met in college.

>>17883380
Nah, I'm an American. Texas. What reminds you of him?

>>17883357
is this bait?
AZAZEL
(dignified)
Name.
HILAL
(in an Indian accent)
Hilal Ghufran
.
Hilal’s eyes go to Azazel’s wings. The angel has six of them,
each of them brilliantly white.
AZAZEL
Heaven or Hell?
HILAL
I wish to go to Heaven, sir.
Azazel purses his lips.
AZAZEL
Are you sure? Remember - Hell is
not so bad. It is much like Earth,
just without the presence of God.
But it is without poverty and death
as well.

Holy shit this is bad so far, I do not wish to be rude. You should have used metaphor surely.
Anyway well done of the B+, it isnt a bad grade. I for sure have been graded worse when I thought my work was better

>>17883357
>>17883401
to tag onto this can I ask why you felt like writing such a heavily christian story? I have not finished reading yet but I got to the part about the untimely car crash and wondered if you had based this on some reality or real event

>>17883357
>https://www.dropbox.com/s/g00d7c25o3tzjxo/Midterm%202.pdf?dl=0
Beginning wasn't great, Middle was good enough, ending was not good.

Calvinism/Predestination is cringe. You piqued my interest with what the reply would be but then disappointed me with the answer. Good attempt for philosophical/theological questioning but unsatisfying payoff. A 'B' is a fitting grade in an absolute context (although of course you may be deserving of an 'A' if the peers are even worse).
Dialogue is written fine enough.

>>17883357
>heaven = no free will
>hell = earth with no poverty
what did he mean by this?

>>17882932
If you'll re-read the post to which you have responded, you'll probably realize that I wasn't asking for help with the specific scene I described, but rather using that scene as an example of a more general problem I frequently encounter.

By "cruel attempts to be funny," I mean that this character has very little real life interaction, and so bases his social style on 4chan and Rick Sanchez-style television antiheroes. Again: I am not asking for advice on this specific character, but instead using him as a an example of a problem I was having in the composition of my work.

>>17883378
>This isn't a fact though, just more speculation
Well, only if you disregard the Merovingian scene where he gives a lady an orgasm cake. . At the time these directors were REALLY good so every time you think something is only there for filler, it's just the delivery of plot relevant information in a veiled manner.
>but I wonder how modern AI would have influenced the writing of the character
I don't know if it would, we already apply systems to neural networks which are effectively primitive emotions. Emotions are after all just a way for our genes to pass directives into our consciousness. Modern AI has literally "rewards systems", and these systems are just as chaotic and prone to fuck ups as our emotions. This makes me certain that it's quite impossible to create a fully sentient machine that does not possess emotions or their equivalent.

>>17879856

>>17883419
You've literally read the first sentence and didn't pick up on the notion that an angel would speak more similar to the bible instead of in modern dialect, and you thought it was bad because of it? I'm not sure I really respect your opinion, honestly. There are other reasons why my piece is not good, but that's not it.
And I wanted to experiment with Christianity as a topic since I was raised as an atheist so I never really get into that stuff.

>>17883429
You're right, I don't think it was more than "above average". In fact, I revised it only once and started writing it two days before it was due. But this is a state university screenwriting course. A's are a very low bar. I'm pretty certain the professor just dislikes anything that isn't TV-tier drama that requires 2 brain cells to comprehend.

>>17883443
It's based off a short story of Ted Chiang's actually. Heaven is eternal bliss but lack of free will, Hell is eternal struggle but free will. It's an interesting concept.

>>17882112
A plot is just a series of casually related events. It's not the only way to structure a story, but it is the most popular because it's the easiest to follow. Our brains are naturally wired to follow cause and effect; we especially like to predict effect from cause. You can exploit this tendency (more on that later) but to start, let's look at classical plot structure as defined by Aristotle thousands of years ago. Aristotle's dramatic structure revolves around three concepts: flaws, reveals and reversals. This automatically suggests a way of transforming ideas into characters and plots. Namely, you convert your idea into a flaw and then create a character which embodies that flaw. The plot then progresses through a series of reversals--opposites--until it culminates in the final and most extreme reversal in which the protagonist confronts his flaw and overcomes it (becoming its polar opposite) or falls deeper into the flaw--often with tragic consequences. In order for this moment of climax to have its full emotional effect, the reader needs background information about the characters and situation. Since the author cannot divulge this information all at once (at least not without boring his reader) he must do so gradually through a series of reveals. The resulting information hierarchy between author, reader, protagonist and other characters can also be exploited but more on that later.

The pieces begin to fall into place. A scene is simply a unit of reversal. Some initial situation is presented, then challenged, then supplanted by an opposite (usually worse) situation. In order for the scene to have thematic resonance it must connect to the flaw. In order for the information necessary for the climax to be of interest to the reader, it must connect to the reversals. All this works very well, except that most readers are unconsciously aware of this structure so that if you follow it exactly your story ends up predictable and cliched. The reader knows the hero will slay the dragon and marry the princess and the author knows that there is no ending more satisfying than this one. But the author also knows what the reader knows, and he can design the plot to play with the reader's expectations. Within in each scene he sets up an initial situation, a cause, which suggests in the reader's mind a certain outcome, an effect, then he exploits that expectation with a different effect which nonetheless could have issued from that same cause. Within the entire plot, he is aware of the reader's expectation of the outcome and exploits this by his sequencing of reveals. In the end, the hero will marry the princess, but maybe the princess is not who the reader (or the protagonist) expects (Dickens loves this one) or in slaying the dragon the hero perishes (physically, or perhaps psychologically) and it is the princess who brings him back.

1/2

>>17883501
The author knows what's going to happen in the plot, the reader thinks he knows, the character doesn't know but understands cause and effect, and some know more than others. All of this the author can exploit. The protagonist knows there's a gun in the drawer. The antagonist knows his wife has been cheating on him. The protagonist doesn't know that the antagonist knows about his adultery. The reader knows (from an earlier scene) that the wife has sabotaged the gun. The author knows that the reader expects the gun to misfire and for the protagonist to live, so he lets the protagonist get the gun in the drawer and when it misfires, has the antagonist draw a gun of his own--only for that to misfire as well (his wife was thorough).

To boil this down to a procedure: first pin down the flaw, main reversal and necessary reveals of the story. Organize the reveals into scenes, each with its own, smaller reversal (ideally, but not necessarily connected to the flaw). If the reversal involves a guy going from greed to generosity, the reader needs some information about the guy--why is he greedy? what's stopping him from being generous? what situation could inspire him to generosity? what is necessary for that situation to arise? who is he hurting with his greed? how does that greed manifest itself? how does generosity manifest? Then think about the reader's expectation of cause and effect and how you might exploit that (N.B exploit does not necessarily mean subvert) in each scene and in the plot at large. As you write, you'll find new information that needs to be revealed or that some reversals are too weak (not "opposite" enough) or too fast (and therefore unbelievable) or thematically inconsistent (unrelated to the flaw).

I doubt anyone will read this effortpost, but it congealed some ideas I had running around in my head anyway.

>>17883470
Honestly I forgot most of the second and third movies, they're just not as good. You could be completely right.

>>17883490
I read the piece and I did not like it. I would have given it a C+ but then again, I would not have wanted to ruin your life by ruining your GPA.

I did not appreciate the story in the barest of forms. A man killed someone. His life was always awful,
He was in jail, and converted to christianity, then he left jail and started a family with a great wife.
Then they died in a carcrash and now she does not exist, heaven is a place of no free will and hell is just casual life again but better.
I like a few aspects of it, the best character was the Angel. His story was way more interesting; it is also the part of the story you did not create.

Why did you specify that he had an Indian accent?

The concept was not bad, but it felt a bit weird to describe the location as a courtroom, and no more description really.
Made me imagine an angel dressed as a judge with a little havel

>>17883463
Sorry, I don't think I can help you then. Just, like, write it, lol. Don't worry so much about the first draft. You can always go back and edit whatever needs editing later. The important part it to keep writing, keep practicing, so you keep gaining experience.

>>17883531
Nah the second movie is amazing, while the central philosophical theme of the first movie was The Cave, the second movie deals with Fatalism/Determinism. The entire movie is about how identity, personality and purpose, when linked together create a predetermined path that makes humans just as predictable as machines, with Neo's ACTUAL power being his ability to not be accounted for in specifically ONE of his decisions in the matrix. The fact that The Oracle was supposed to be just another level off he systems of control is also a pretty good twist.

>>17883357
hmm that's story was ok. B+ seems about right. I would've given an A- but I'm a softie

>>17883552
>The concept was not bad, but it felt a bit weird to describe the location as a courtroom, and no more description really.
The constraint of the assignment is that it had to be recordable through an online call and 10~ pages.
>Why did you specify that he had an Indian accent?
Because he's Indian.
>the best character was the Angel. His story was way more interesting; it is also the part of the story you did not create.
I agree.
>I would have given it a C+
You should see my classmate's work.

>>17883595
I am glad you are self aware, I do not agree with the idea that work should be graded comparatively to the class.

>>17883595
you should be getting grades based on the objective quality of your work, not whether classmate David or Jessica wrote better or worse than you

hey /lit/
can you give me your opinions on this little piece I am writing?

Adam uncovers his third hand from his two eyes.
He realises he has but two hands, as he always did.
In the space around him sit six figures. They are dark as night.
They reflect the fire that burns a few feet from Adam, the figures are akin to obsidian stone. Adam's eyes are hot and he must protect them by squinting.
The flames dance off of the figures like the moon in the night sea.
It is so bright and yet the space around Adam falls to darkness in all directions mere metres away.
The figures have three arms and move them to point up.
Adam follows their direction and peers into the endless, starry sky above.

A strange vibrating shakes the floor, it is coming from the figures.
"You are here to Judge" Adam can somehow hear.
He stands to his feet and realises the floor is stone, and inches of water lay atop it. It reflects the fire, the ripples from his movements are tidal waves at the smallest scale.
"And who am I too judge" he says.
The floor vibrates in odd patterns, shaking the water ever more, the flames bouncing off it's every shape.
"You are here to judge us"
One of the figures moves it's three arms to point at the fire.
"You are hear to judge us."

>>17883595
>>17883636
Also you do not need to tell us he is indian, his name informs us and if it actually mattered you would find a way to let us know.
Him being indian sounds like that heart to heart about remembering racism as you write actually did pozz you

>>17883650
> You are hear to judge us.
Is this a pun because the guy turns out to have 8 ears

>>17883650
is your boy tripping

>>17883636
>>17883648
Maybe if I wasn't a computer science major in his final year currently focusing his time on an internship. I would much rather improve my prose on my own time instead of studying with a handful of other idiots, but I need the honors hours credit from this screenwriting class.

>>17883648
How do you assess a piece of art's objective quality? Perhaps it is true that they "should" be judged thus, but it is rarely the case that they are. The professor is just as flawed and biased as the student they are grading.

>>17883671
ah man, I thought I had spelled it all right ahaha
>>17883675
I am thinking Adam learns about the pantheon of a strange culture, each figure representing a god and their story/ morale lesson.
He judges them in the end, it helps me decide who he want's to be.
That is the basis as is
but critique/ suggestion is wanted

>>17883692
I don't get it, dude. What do you mean by judging them?

>>17883677
>this screenwriting class.
oh my shiggy.
This should NOT be a B+ in that case. ah well

>>17883659
He's just an indian. His ethnicity doesn't matter. It's mentioned once and then the rest of the story could have happened to literally anyone else. You are the one who has been pozzed by idpol. Sometimes the curtains are just blue. Also, the premise is that it was recorded through an online call so it's natural to point out things like how dignified the judge sounds, and the accent of the person speaking.

>>17883708
Adam does not understand yet either, essentially he will pick which ones are put into the fire and forgotten, the stories teach morales, some of which are not always "good" or "bad". I have not got that far yet, how was the piece I wrote so far though?

Did it invoke good imagery and intrigue? that is the purpose of it

>>17883677
I don't know why you're so buttmad over the B. You admitted that you spent little time writing or editing the work, and your grade reflects that. Do you really think that because muh stem you're entitled to A+?

Honestly, the screenplay was meandering. The philosophical arguments, while interesting, weren't executed well, most likely due to the fact that you spent little time and effort on making it good. Next time, give it a real try and you'll be happier with your grade. And leave out the comparisons to your classmates' alleged shitty works, it's a poor life habit

>>17883709
>This should NOT be a B+ in that case. ah well
It should be higher or worse? Because yeah, it's a screenwriting class, as evidenced by the screenwriting format.

>>17883659
It was literally just an arbitrary choice since the random name generator came up with an Indian name, get your mind out of /pol/ fag

>>17883717
I am telling you anon, as someone who studies film and television at university; you do not need to state the ethnicity unless it affects the story.

>>17883739
You don't need to not state it either. Get over yourself.

>>17883490
as another anon stated, i'm not sure the protag is even the most interesting character here. the angel is far more interesting to me, even the wife--who faced annihilation--is more interesting. the central twist seemed to me to have nothing to do with the main character so it felt completely arbitrary. i think it would've been far more interesting if the main character was presented with the choice of heaven and hell and the angel told him upfront what each choice entailed and him trying to figure out what choice his wife might have made. or maybe make the whole thing into a version of the Newcomb paradox. or the angel tells him his wife chose heaven and now he needs to choose between eternity with his wife and free will. or a prisoner's dilemma between him and the guy he murdered. basically i think there are many more interesting ways to present this story and you seemed to have chosen the first (and most obvious) one that popped into your head.

>>17883738
It should be lower, after the first page it was just written like a fucking novel with a focus on speech over visual storytelling.
And also I am not a fucking /pol/fag, I am giving you a fucking tip.
The fact he is indian would only mean you had limited casting opportunities, so unless it means something to the story, like his culture coming into play then dont bother
>>17883749
why are you acting like what I am saying is rude or something?

>>17883770
i honestly thought the indian bit was going to play into the annihilation (with some reference to Buddhism) but nope, it's just thrown in there and never exploited.

>>17883764
I agree with you anon, he should have asked the question "what would my christian wife have chose after learning this knowledge, keep her faith or choose freedom"
or something like "you have seen the way of god and deserve forgiveness. The man you killed went to hell for petty shit, will you trade your place in heaven with him to show that you repent"

>>17883770
Because you're the pot calling the kettle black. Things always have to either be for or against a racial ideology to you. Something can't ever just "be", in your mind. He's just an indian. That's where it begins and ends. It's written as a transcript of a conversation. It's fine.

>>17883736
>And leave out the comparisons to your classmates' alleged shitty works, it's a poor life habit
You'd be right but I'm buttmad over the fact that other people had even worse works but got A's purely since it was less cerebral and more "basic bitch TV". Like, some girl wrote some awful story about some guy who cheats on his girl and she gets revenge with her girl-friends. It was bad. A-, I believe the grade was.

>>17883764
You know what? This is very good feedback. I agree with everything you said.

>>17883770
I am a novelist, so you would be right that my screenplay just sounds like a novel. To be fair though, I wasn't able to actually use any actions more than basic body language because of the restrictions of the assignment.
If your advice is to omit the detail to keep casting open-ended, then that's yeah, that's good advice I should have followed. No need to be anal about it.

>>17883784
yeah I thought similar, maybe this devout Sihk just learned christianity was real and his religion is not.
Would he see this as a test? or would he accept the reality?
>>17883793
the information is not important and wasted space in his 10 page limited story, your the one that saw me say "you dont need to define his race here" and thought I was a /pol/fag.

>>17883650
Hey can anyone please tell me how to improve this and if it works in the intent?

>>17883799
anon did you read her story? maybe it was well written. Her story sounds like it had lots of movement where as yours is a lot of speech. I dont blame the grade being lowered since you only showed you could write dialog and didnt flex any other muscles

>>17883822
what is the intent? it's too short to make anything coherent out of it.

>>17883859
to make really striking imagery and create intrigue, with symbolic meanings which I will say are not paid off yet

>>17883650
>>17883822
My guess at your intent (not a poetic person), is to create an image that somewhat reflects the journey of life. Adam comes to terms with his body, comes to term with his surroundings, comes to term with his companions, and eventually struggles to come to terms with his place among them. Sort of infant, to child, to adolescent, to adult. Unfortunately I believe the structure of this poem suffers due to the intent. My mind rejects the image of Adam removing his third hand from his two eyes because it lacks any context, and had you not requested critique I would have stopped there. It might be helped by somehow making this image more tactile to provoke more sensations in the reader's mind, as opposed to provoking questions. Again, I don't like poetry, so it would be a hard sell for me either way. Most of the poetry I do like is straight-forward, like the stuff that came out of WW1.

I really liked the line "And who I am too judge" except you used the wrong version of "to/too". I tried to figure out if the mistake was intentional, but I can see no way for that version of "too" to add any additional depth to the statement. It's a clever play on words: he's asking what authority he has to judge and who it is that he will be judging, at the same time. The answer, I believe, lies in the fire, which is typically used as a symbol of passion or anger. You are a man of passion, and it is our request that you judge our passion.

Am I correct?

how would you describe your writing style briefly?

>>17883832
I did. It was about as good as you could imagine a short film about 3 girls all behind a webcam insulting a man over a zoom call would be.

>>17883868
then imo you didn't succeed. there's nothing about that imagery which i found striking, it felt to me like the first image that came to mind was written down instead of trying to find a truly fresh metaphor ("dark as night" skin like "obsidian stone", "endless starry sky", comparing ripples to tiny tidal waves). I recommend you read the short story "Brownies" by ZZ Packer and take note of her imagery. symbolism also felt cliched since it felt to me like you're using symbols that are already loaded with meaning (fire, darkness, stone, eyes) but not in any way which i found new or interesting, it felt like you were piggybacking off of existing associations for each symbol. read Canterbury Tales to see how you can use old symbols with novel associations.

>>17883933
>It's a clever play on words: he's asking what authority he has to judge and who it is that he will be judging, at the same time.
this part was right, I like the way you saw the journey of life in it. Which was not intentional but now that inspires me to write that aspect into it

>>17883944
Eccentric and realistic dialogue with terse and lawyerly descriptions and prose. It’s somewhat jarring, but I think it holds a particular allure.

>>17883944
Lmao I had to write it down in my notes at some point just so I could keep better track of it.
I often feel like my style changes too much, to the point where I can hardly say I even have a "style" at all.

>>17883957
thanks for the critique anon. I agree that none of the symbols or metaphor are particularly fresh. I am saddened to read that you did not find the imagery striking.
I myself enjoyed the imagery, but perhaps I need to describe things more, for example the figures in my mind look a bit like this but I wanted to leave it open enough for someone to interpret the aesthetics how they happened
to.
Coming up with now symbols with new meaning sounds quite daunting and I do think many pieces, film, art etc. are seen as good despite using traditional imagery, that is why we have them after all. To see a connection.

Thanks again for the critique, I will try to improve it.

I hit 10,000 words today and I'm still on the exposition

>>17883805
(in an Indian accent)
The information "wastes" (from your point of view) 21 characters out of a total of around 10,000. Get over yourself.

>>17883944
Honestly? I don't know. I have a tendency to focus a lot on personal relationships and monologues I guess. I asked a few people and one of them said I'm light on descriptions even given my sci-fi genre where people don't pull stops on autism. And another admitted that he wouldn't be able to give decent, unbiased critique in a style he wouldn't understand enough.

>>17884055
holy shit imagine being this sad

>>17884063
Yes, imagine pointing out something so inconsequential to the rest of the story like it's some great offense and the author has been pozzed by the leftard libshit professor.

>>17884060
sci fi is fun, what sort of stories have you wrote?

>>17884060
Jeez are you me? Also scifi (more space opera really). I'm going back through my first draft right now and adding more setting as it's mostly just internal monologues, personal revelations, and conversations between my main characters.

>>17883945
i mean that could be pretty good. it depends on the execution and the intended audience. suppose the set up is that the girl knows the guy is cheating on him with one of her friends but she doesn't know which one and the call is all about trying to figure out who it is, under the false pretense of collusion--and then it turns out he's been banging all three. or you could go full Les Diabolques where the friends are actually gaslighting her to help the boyfriend. or in fact, there is no boyfriend and she's just been lying ala Svidrigailov because she wants to fit in. etc. etc. there are no bad premises only bad (or at least unimaginative) writers.

>>17884091
You have some good ideas, but unfortunately this story I speak of was just feminist drivel.

>>17884072
After the anime asshurt today I'm a bit reluctant on posting work until the dust settles and felt like OP was a thinly disguised post your work. Anyway, but I wrote https://justpaste.me/PsychoWriter from the last thread, which was a brief foray into supernatural urban fantasy based on a dream I had once.

My other work is a sci-fi space opera that in my mind is more of a military (Psychological?) drama with sci-fi taking more of a backseat. I wouldn't mind posting it, but it'd probably be as a ghost reply on the archive.

as a /pol/ fag let me add my two cents in and say no one wants to read a story involving some poo in loo unless its relevant, i.e. we are following the exploits of a member of the british east india company who happens to kill a bunch of them. based on the inclusion of the street shitter alone I would have given you a maximum score of B
include details because they are relevant to something. if there is no payoff for his ethnicity, its irrelevant.

>>17884070
anon in case you cannot read the author said that his teacher
> Maybe? But keep in mind this professor brought in a black short film writer to talk to us about how we need to keep racism in mind while writing, so I don't think her intellectual discussion tolerance is very big.

he was the first person to bring up ethnicity and that he was taught to take care of racism in his stories.
So when a completely irrelavent piece of infomation came up, and it was the ethnicity of his character which informs us nothing and adds nothing I told him he did not need to put it there, its inclusion sounded like he just did it due to this talk with the black writer.
Then he goes on about feminist drivel and so fourth
and you call me the /pol/fag
whatever loser

>>17884091
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4o_IQavlMDA
anon's recount of her story reminded me of this music video
>>17884099
you seem rude and judgemental, also hypocritical anon

>>17884111
I will read it later, I am writing atm anon

>>17884111
> https://justpaste.me/PsychoWrite
I keep getting redirected to an advertisement or malware site

>>17884016
it is daunting but if your intent is to strike people with your imagery, then you can't fall back on what everybody already knows. take the image you posted. "obsidian stone" is too direct an image. to me, i see the reflective black on a rubber bicycle seat or the black of a missing step on a dark staircase, or the black of a rotten banana peel, or the black above a panther's eyes. read the ZZ Packer story, i think you'll see what i mean.

>>17884171
the fire represents Adam's soul.
The water represents how every action can have a huge impact akin to the butterfly effect.
The three hands Adam thought he had is because he himself is just another figure in someone else's formation as a person.
Each figure will tell Adam a story and Adam will judge them, by throwing them into the fire or pushing them into the dark to be forgotten.
It represents how Adam is choosing who he want to be and which influences to leave behind
In the end he will be forced into the flames himself to burn, since becoming a person is painful.

I'll check at your recc, what do you think of the general premise?

>>17884223
>>17884171
And I will say my influences are religious stories/myths so the imagery is sorta simple because it is meant to represent a fictional cultures beliefs on how life works/origin of man

>>17884223
makes even less sense than Dark Souls lore, but there are people who spend thousands of hours trying to make sense of the video games anyway. Go for it

>>17884223
seems like a mythic or fairy-tale like structure (what John Gardner would call a "fable"). you should also read Kafka if you haven't already for ideas on how to structure such a story (e.g The Country Doctor). it's an interesting premise but not really my cup of tea, still i think what i said about the imagery and symbolism holds. although a new concern is the degree of disassociation from your intent and the symbol you've chosen (i would not have guessed that the three hands has anything to do with how Adam is a figure in another person's psychological formation) you have to use repetition to ensure this meaning is clear, which is why i said it's hard to make any judgement of quality or execution with such a small piece

>>17884123
> based on the inclusion of the street shitter alone I would have given you a maximum score of B
based

>>17881665
Yeah, I looked up based in my encyclopedia and I saw this post.

What are some sorority/fraternity themed movies i can watch to get inspiration for pranks for the book im writing? All i know are like stealing the mascot and TPing the house and shit like that.

I'd ask /tv/ if it wasn't the worst board, but since it's for a book, I thought I could ask here.

>>17884452
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_hazing_deaths_in_the_United_States

>>17884517
I'm more looking for inter-house pranks instead of hazing, but thanks.

>>17884241
>throwing them into the fire or pushing them into the dark
it literally is dark souls lore. the first flame is the "soul" of lordran, the age of dark is the absence of fire, the absence of the godlike beings like gwyn who shaped man's destiny through its power. but maybe, there is something more powerful in the dark.

>>17884572
it isnt dark souls lore at all, I can see why you thought it was similar
I will re write it if it is that similar, never played dark souls

>>17884614
>it isn't dark souls lore at all
>never played dark souls
lol
I was using literally in the zoomer way of meaning figuratively. it's similar to dark souls lore. but that's only because dark souls lore is so poorly explained that it's essentially up to you to define what the images and concepts actually mean.

>>17882612
It is to, Pseudo-intellectual.

>>17884517
kek

>>17884550
fraternity brothers don't pranks like characters on a 1950s sitcom

>>17884919
Not looking for realism, anon. I want shit that would fit in an 80s movie but the only one I know is Animal House.

>>17884934
just google college movies anon.

>>17884452

PCU

>>17884934
Here are some ideas

https://youtu.be/7WeCWkv7K3A

How's that story coming along? You do write on weekends right?

>>17885543
Just wrapped up the next chapter after a week of languishing, just shy of 3k words, and currently running some edit checks and will publish the chapter by the next hour.

>join a writing server
>everyone calls themselves some shit like a "pantser"
>one of them wrote something like 5 novels last year
>none of them are published
>all of them talk like they know what they're talking about
I feel like if I wrote a shitload and none of it was deemed publishable I'd just accept that I'm doing something wrong and either fix it or find another hobby.

>>17885543
I've been taking it slow today and only wrote 1000 words so far, but I'm going to try to turn it up and finish 2 chapters tonight. I'll be going on a hike for most of tomorrow, but if I get enough done tonight I might be able to finish this draft tomorrow evening.

>>17885576
Brandon Sanderson keeps talking about how he wrote 10 books before he got anything published. It's hard to get published in the traditional way.

>>17885576
I hate the pantser shit
But I respect that they can unga grind
Most writing servers no one writes, it's pathetic

>>17883365
Thanks I guess. I don't really know that I did anything spectacular, I just felt like it would be fun to rewrite it as something I would like to read. I considered also going into detail about every change that I made, like removing the pronoun "she" from ghouleater's inner monologue, instead referring to the ghoul as an "it", implying that he sees them not as people like him, but just as objects, vermin to be eradicated. Works double for a greater juxtaposition when he comes around to the idea that not all ghouls are horrible evil wicked creatures, like that anon said he planned. But I didn't really feel like annotating my thought process for each change, so whatever. Felt sort of presumptive to rewrite someone's work, the opposite of humility, which I strive for, but I thought it would be the best way to showcase what I consider good vs what I consider bad. My prose isn't anything special, but I like to think it's a lot better than the original. Glad it helped.

>>17881665
Nice revision of history.

>>17885723
That's because he wrote 10 of them while he was a high schooler and learned something about writing before the 11th or 12th that allowed him to get published. The first 10, the "unga grind" as >>17885762 says, is nothing but pathetic. Sanderson is still shit, for the record, he just made a goal of getting published and at least figured out how to do that. What are these other people, who are willing to put in the hours to write millions of words for nobody, actually doing? Most of them just become bitter and try to crab people out of trad publishing.

>>17885872
Did most other writers get their first/second book published?

I am drunk and haven’t written in weeks. I love u /wg/ and I love your constant arguing about the OP and crit and quality and all that shit that makes you so inherently /wg/.

>>17885945
Historically lots of them learned how to be publishable first via short story submissions, and some still do. These days, it's a tossup. There are so many fucking "writers" on royalroad that the word's lost all meaning for the purpose of any discussion. Did most published writers get their first novel published? I'd imagine so, but I don't have statistics to back that up. If you can't get your first novel published, that's understandable, but if you can't get your second one published, I think you should rethink your approach to whatever you're doing rather than just decide that the publishing industry is full of Jewish people who hate you specifically.

>>17885965
>if you do something but it's bad then you're not someone who does
Don't be a weirdo. All it takes to be a "writer" is to write. If you write shit you're a shit writer. If you write well you're a good writer
Don't give into romanticisation or you'll end up a pseud who never practices and just dreams up idealized manifestos which he'll never write

>>17885959
But the quality of /wg/ has gone down.

>>17886015
pbbbbbbbbbt

>>17885959
There is no argument when one side is obviously right. By taking back the OP from "them", we're attempting (and succeeding desu) to restore high quality posts to the general. As you can see, it's a slow process, but progress is progress.

>>17886048
nothing has changed
the ghosts inside your head are feeding you lies

>>17886067
>>17886048
>>17886042
Guys, what are you writing about? What are your struggles? What can drunk me help with?

>>17886048
>we're attempting (and succeeding desu) to restore
I'm not the OP you're replying but this is a delusion. I've been around since these threads first appeared and it has more or less always been consistently bad. I said long ago that /wg/ would be rather purposeless because you have so many pseud intellectuals shrieking about trad publishing and pushing away people from posting work. It loops around to nobody willing to post because surprise, people are scared of plagiarisation or they don't want their work to be affiliated with 4chan. Then you had all your low-hanging fruit posts like "I can't wait, is x a good plot? How do I write?" All these dumping of poems or flash fictions without any real context or meaning because people thought this was crit for some reason.

I think immediately prior to the shit-flinging regarding the OP (which utterly boggles my mind) /wg/ was comfy and somewhat decentthough. But that didn't last long, and people shifted from low-effort posts and high horses to whining about there being an anime OP on top of this bizarre boogeyman going on. I've seen my fair share of spooks on some /vg/ generals, but this is crazy. Just write niggas.

>>17886078
Allegoric fantasy. I want to write for RR but I can't just "have fun and turn your brain off bro" and I know if I don't have a good enough design doc I'll autistcally second guess and rewrite every single scene, making no progress
What other kinds of relationships are there?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dirofilaria_immitis

here's some horror kino material for you guys

How to write a story for a relatively linear videogame without plot-related choices? How does it differ from a traditional storytelling?

>>17883036
I loved the ones where one anon would crit most of the thread. There were probably a few different anons doing it over time, but usually what would happen is either
>Editor anon comes in
>Is a female used to soft soap "critique" which is always "omg I like it so nice"
>Anons get mad there's no real critique and start making her define her terms and cry
Or else
>Editor anon comes in
>Actual editor used to destroying a slush pile
>tells anons to proof, to learn English, to read more because they're making unknowing references, to think about their metaphors and how logic works, to stick to one fucking tense, to do research because there are fourteen factual errors anyone with a basic knowledge of 1821 would see in their vampire novel, and to never use a semicolon improperly again or anon would come to their house and kill them with a hardbacked style guide
>most anons would take the legit criticism and go off to kill themselves/re-write
>one girl or narcissist would double down on the most retarded mistake and spend the rest of the thread posting:
>>>POST YOUR WORK IF YOU'RE SO GREAT SO I CAN TRASH IT

What's the logic for writing 5 or 10 novels and not self-publishing after it fails to get the attention of Simon and Schuster and the like? Brandon Sanderson lived in a time without self publishing, but nowadays anyone can put up their works on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Google Play, Wattpad, or Royal Road

>>17886148
I mean, I already see that shit in these threads
>t. editor anon

>>17886158
Probably the same logic that used call self publishing 'vanity publishing'.

>>17886108
Give "them" an inch, and they'll take a mile. /wg/ needs to nip this in the butt now before it's too late, or worse (god forbid), one of them becomes a moderator. You don't understand this is a battle of ideologies, and we need to stop their eastern cultural subversion from infecting our western christian values. The last thing we need is their influence on the youth that lurk this board.

>>17886148
people trying to explain why they intended that obvious mistake and "yeah bro haha didnt have time to edit just the first draft" and stuff like that

>>17886003
I'm attempting to write and publish a novel. I am almost done with it. If I cannot publish it, I may try again in another genre. If I cannot publish that, I will probably accept that I'm not a writer. There are writers and there are "writers," like there are journalists and then "journalists" who churn out inanely vapid shit about memes and video games and twitter trends. You can call them the same thing as journalists who do investigations to bring new real information to light, but they're not the same thing.

>>17886158
self publishing is a meme

>>17886110
just write

>>17886159
It's been a while since I've seen a proper crit train. One editor was vicious and hilarious so half the crit he gave was
>No.

>>17886164
Vanity publishing is a completely different thing and you making this post shows how little the average anon here can be trusted to have done any research at all about anything.

>>17886174
>yeah bro haha didnt have time to edit just the first draft
I think these people should be shot or at least banned from ever posting writing for critique. They're not human. They are sub-human.

>>17886195
>Vanity publishing is a completely different
Note your tense and mine. Note also that it's a supposition of a logic to which neither of us might have subscribed.

>>17886185
:DDDDD

>>17886195
Vanity publishing was common in the pre-internet, pre-print on demand times. You couldn't go online and browse the books you wanted, you had to go into a shop like Books a Million and choose from their selection. Back then, it was either get accepted by the Big 5 or print your own books and try to pawn them off to your local bookshops. Of course, most of the time, people failed and ended up with 1000 books in their garage

>>17886179
at the end of the day you have to write for an audience or else never show your work to anyone. it's only when you have no audience, no one who can relate to what you're writing, that it's time to hang up the spurs.
>I cannot imagine a sorrier pursuit than struggling for years to write a book that attempts to appeal to people who do not read in the first place.

>>17886213
>ended up with 1000 books in their garage
And anons complain about one star reviews as a physical manifestation of their failure

>>17886213
That's what vanity publishing is.

>>17886201
Show me an instance of someone calling internet self-publishing "vanity publishing."

>>17886227
It's the pre-Internet boomer equivalent of that RR fic with like 10 views on it

>>17886237
>Show me an instance of someone calling internet self-publishing "vanity publishing
Why? If someone calling internet publishing 'vanity publishing' is central to your claim, then it doesn't refer to and cannot refute my claim.

>>17886237
He's probably using vanity publishing in the loose sense, as in it's not legitimate Big 4 publishing, it's just you uploading a word document to Amazon.

>>17886169
Is this the schizo OP who thinks the animeposters are all trying to get him?

>>17886265
Or he's using the past tense to refer to what was the majority of the self publishing industry, during the time when you could not upload a word document to Amazon as Amazon didn't exist.

>>17886280
I know that Amazon bad, but it's been so great for amateur writers. I really appreciate not having to grovel to a 27 year old New York woman to please consider my manuscript for publication, and she only got the job as editor because her uncle is a C suite executive at Penguin

>>17886298
To be fair, Penguin publishes stuff from Instagram. Amateur writers have never had it so good.

Got my draft refused because "fantasy zombies don't sell." This fucking sucks.

>>17886344
If you put it on Amazon, I'd buy your book

Reminder that the foreword for my 10 part short stories series drop on Monday! There will be an excerpt for the first short story to give you a taste of what's to come when the story is completed Friday!

>>17883957
not him but i read the story. no imagery struck me apart from 'stars like spilled salt'. nice twist, though.

>>17886322
>Penguin publishes stuff from Instagram
what
more on this/?

>>17886472
whites need not apply

>>17886344
They're not wrong

>>17886474
holy based.

>>17886472
Oh man, do I have a rabbit hole for you
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Belle_Gibson
>>17886474
Are you thinking of their earlier one where they published a fictional memoir of an honor killing by a Chicago fraudster?

>>17886444
idk what to tell you. there's plenty there which i found worth noting, the belt like the kind weightlifter's wear, the girls "turning elastic" from laughter, the girls doubling up like "entwined kites", the "silence of passengers who'd narrowly escaped an accident", hair like a shampoo commercial or like spaghetti straight from the box, a voice as tinkly as a shiny new earring etc. etc. i guess you have such refined tastes that stuff like that doesn't impress or even register anymore. kudos if so.

i want to write a book about my life living in multiple countries, meeting people from very different walks of life. how do i write this without mentioning people's names? i want it to be personal, but i don't want it to be strictly a memoir

>>17886604
try changing the names? could work. maybe make some shit up and mix it with the facts?

>>17886555
>hair like a shampoo commercial or like spaghetti straight from the box
>a voice as tinkly as a shiny new earring
cliche. the second one might work due to context (4th grade girls). hey look. i don't know what i'm talking about either. it's just my opinion TBD (to be desu). if we're talking imagery, i'll say mishima's are the most memorable to me.

>>17886508
>By early 2015, it was estimated that in excess of $1 million had been made in sales of The Whole Pantry app and book.
wew lad
as for the other one, is this it? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forbidden_Love_(novel)

>>17886604
just change their names. kerouac did this in the edited form of On The Road. alternatively you could refer to their titles (the barber, the driver) but you'll have to be good. more often than not it gets cringy real fast.

When someone says "everyone is different", what I hear is "they were too weak". To be human is to struggle. If everyone is different and anyone can do anything, then which one is true? The person whose concession is justified by the assertion that everyone is different is contradicted by the act of countless others struggling through the same trial or tribulation.

>>17886508
damn

After Gibson launched The Whole Pantry app, it was reportedly downloaded 200,000 times within its first month. It was voted Apple's Best Food and Drink App of 2013.

Gibson soon after signed a book deal with Lantern Books, an imprint of Penguin Books, for an accompanying table top cookbook, which was published in October 2014.

When the book was launched in November 2014, Gibson claimed in its preface that she had been "stable for two years now with no growth of the cancer", but her story soon emerged as inconsistent: she also told media outlets that the cancer had reached her liver and kidneys, and three months earlier had posted on The Whole Pantry's Facebook page that her cancer had spread to her brain, blood, spleen, and uterus.

By early 2015, it was estimated that in excess of $1 million had been made in sales of The Whole Pantry app and book.

As the controversy grew, questions began to be raised about Apple, Penguin and the Australian media's lack of due diligence in prima facie accepting Gibson's claims to suffering multiple cancers. Lantern Books, when initially approached by investigative journalists, claimed it had not confirmed the validity of Gibson's cancer claims as it was not required for a cookbook. Soon after, as the controversy grew, Penguin withdrew the book from sale, citing a lack of response from Gibson to its queries relating to the media accusations. However, Fairfax reported that Penguin had, prior to publication of the book, already quizzed and videotaped Gibson on her cancer story, as recounted in the preface. Penguin agreed to pay a $30,000 to the Victorian Consumer Law Fund as a penalty for failing to validate the factual content of the book.

The state of RR.

>>17886392
I might after revising it so I don't feel like I wasted 3 months of my life for nothing. Self publishing shit sounds kind of intimidating tho, I don't know why.

>>17886666
> Self publishing shit sounds kind of intimidating tho
More intimidating than writing a query letter and asking other humans to evaluate your work for worthiness?

>>17886688
one star reviews may be less intimidating, but intimidating nonetheless
also checked

>>17886688
The idea of not having someone who knows what they are doing giving you decent feedback and working out with you how to improve and rewrite stuff kind is kind of scares me off a bit.

I want to write with music but the greats say not to?

>>17886737
the greats say to lick my balls and rim my ass and give me a wet, sloppy kiss afterwards slut stupid worthless skank pick up your pen you whore worthless stupid whore

>>17885834
It did help. It is better than what I wrote last time. I tried to incorporate some of your changes in my own writing after an edit, but some things I kept for myself because I disagreed.

>>17886771

https://privatebin.net/?edf8d5af28c25eee#FH32KVfNtLZNwGaGEk1ELf94JGCJf8R543mhWkK6FvDF
this is a silly little story (unfinished) that I wrote about my circle of friends. it contains many in jokes which you could not possibly understand. I wrote this one day many years ago and always meant to return to it. perhaps I never shall...
regardless, it is here for your enjoyment.
also, pastebin is pozzed

Dudes, if you want to write something that must be seen to be fully appreciated(like anime), just learn screenwriting.

>>17886797
I'm not clicking on that potentially offensive or questionable link that leads to potentially offensive or questionable content.

So how many details about a character do/should you draft out before you write a story? Personally, I feel so lost if I don't have a character established.

>>17886822
how about a videogame that plays itself? it's not like someone can make a film/tv show by themselves, but a "game" with graphics on the level of an old school jrpg and no gameplay is doable for an indie.

>>17886847
I write a character as I go along.

>>17886108
>I think immediately prior to the shit-flinging regarding the OP (which utterly boggles my mind) /wg/
Literally, just a anon who's a schizo doing this shit, because he genuinely believes, there's a conspiracy of animefags out to get him.

>>17886860
Game writing is basically screenwriting with production aspects. It's worth getting your eyes on a real game bible, or even a production bible from a film set.

>>17886874
You don't have anything established at all? Could you share your process with me?

>>17886822
>just learn screenwriting.
But... how?

>>17886927
>write in a background character that PoV increasingly talks to
>get tired/lazy/frustrated of referring them as an epithet red shirt
>elevate them to mauve shirt/recurring side/supporting character
>give them characteristics snd try to keep them consistent

>>17886931
You read, dude

>>17886626
>as for the other one, is this it? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forbidden_Love_(novel
That's the one (not that there couldn't be others)

What do you call it when the author or the text is speaking to the reader? Is there a specific name for it? Like, I want to briefly describe the state of things then be like, "And this is where we find our hero...", something like that.

>>17886988
Narration

>>17886988
Cringe.

>>17887001
Oh thanks

>>17887003
Don't hate, post your writing tough guy.

>>17887008
I'm not here to write, I'm waiting for the next Nabokov, Conrad, Faulkner or Joyce.

>>17887021
Sorry to disappoint you, anon, but only Animefags write in these threads.

>>17886955
Read what?

>>17886949
What are the first characteristics you give them?

>>17887028
I know, the thread was ruined by a weeb faggot spamming his weeb isekai shit right at the start. But I have faith. I will wait.

new thread
>>17887051
new thread
>>17887051
new thread
>>17887051

>>17887054
Oh wow, thanks! it's anons like you who really make me want to write! I'm going to post my story in the next thread, see you all there!

Not too early, not too late! Jussst rigght!

>>17887054
based.

>>17887030
screenplays, production bibles, game design bibles
they're all free

>>17887054
>this anon has probably rigged his sleep schedule around being OP, the faggot
Could you not stay awake ten more posts or something?

>>17887054
Why did you make a new thread before the bump limit?

>>17886626
>wew lad
>as for the other one, is this it? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forbidden_Love_(novel)
>>17886987
There's a great doco about this called Forbidden Lies. The Belle Gibson one happened in Australia too.

>>17887097
yeah, because only one anon can possibly make threads. It's a very special and difficult talent. It couldn't possibly be that any other anon who didn't like anime would make a new thread

>>17887097
it's on time, you're nitpicking.

>>17887116
>yeah, because only one anon can possibly make threads. It's a very special and difficult talent. It couldn't possibly be that any other anon who didn't like anime would make a new thread
Considering only a vocal minority have been bitching about the pics, yeah.

>>17887116
>the newb's being huffy
Bump limit is 310 on /lit/, don't be embarrassed you didn't know, but don't do stupid shit again

>>17887122
It's far more likely than more than >5 anons don't like anime and make a new thread when they see that the posts approach 310. No need for any one person to watch the thread

>>17887127
you're aggressive, please calm down. You're scaring me.

>>17887132
Post tits or gtfo

>>17887131
Nobody believes you and you know it.

>>17887131
>No need for any one person to watch the thread
That's why it's called autism. They're doing unnecessary loopy shit.

>>17887131
Nobody believes it, anon. At least have the courage to own up to your autism.

>>17886847
I try and establish a few scenes from their past that would have had a profound impact on their personality. Then I write a monologue from their perspective that takes place a day before the story starts. You want your characters to not seem like they only serve the plot, but that they had lives before it all started.

>>17883520
I read it. Thank you

>>17887104
Why do you repost the exact same comments every thread? It's fucking creepy