/lit/ - Literature

Looking forward to reading the ones being worked on. I'll write another this week, not sure which prompt.

Thread died overnight...

Some good stories were posted Monday, recommend anyone who missed them take a look:

>A Girl Finds A Skirt That Lets Her Travel Through Time
>>17785816

>A gastronomic event causes a mishap of biblical proportions (revised)
>>17788114

>Skateboarding for the fate of the universe
>>17791024

>The Entrance of the Sandman
>>17792638

>>17792638
Great story! It's a really fun, fairy tale style fantasy. I would definitely read more. You brought the characters to life and established a relationship between them in less than 800 words.

>>17792638
not bad, but it really is the beginning of a story rather than a full story itself, is it not?

These prompts are a bit too specific and silly. Can we perhaps get more serious and vague ones which allow more wiggle room?

>>17796648
i think the last two are fine, along with
>A truck driver picks up a clown off the side of the road.
>A very dramatic drive-through order
>A poker game where everyone cheats

>>17796648
You can make a silly prompt serious. It doesn't have to be followed perfectly. The best flashes take prompts in an unexpected direction.

>>17796659
There’s a pretty good variety of silly/serious, vague/specific to choose from. Since we’re pretty far along, the ones we’re left with tend to be the ones that weren’t picked right away so they probably skew to the more difficult side.

As >>17796817 said, some of my favorites were ones that took a silly prompt in a completely new direction.

>>17796189
>>17796631
Thank you! I definitely agree though that it seems to be the beginning of a larger story. I actually wouldn't mind expanding on it in the future. Given the word limit, I figured I'd simply try to address the issue at hand (escaping) versus the issue at large to keep it from getting too "busy". After all, at the core of every story is a problem to be resolved, no?

>>17796988
It's a complete scene. I think it works well and like that it ends in a way where the reader can easily imagine how the adventure continues.

more prompts
>the life and death of a fishing boat
>a pair of hawks guide a flock of sheep
>atonement on a snowy night
>a church closure
>a bouncer at a busy nightclub has an unusual night

Sorry if this isn’t following the format but I just wrote this on break and feel this is the best thread. Tear it apart please. I’ll do my best to provide reviews of other posters after I’m done work.
—
When I flew down to Texas I rented a jeep to drive out into the country where the roads turned to dirt and when I pulled up to that dusty shack her and R were living in I asked her how she was. She told me good and she smiled as R put his arm around her. We went out on their bikes a lot that week and the way she laughed at R’s jokes made me happy to see the blue skies in her eyes again.

Then maybe half a year later I got a layover in Arizona where she just happened to be trailblazing with R in some quest to find a rattlesnake that had blue in its face. I told her I only had a day but she laughed and said that would be enough. So I rented a Hyundai Sonata and drove to the outskirts of Tucson where R met me at a trailhead and brought me five miles into the desert to where their camp was. The sun was high in the sky and when I hugged her I saw she had made closer acquaintance with that yellow orb because her face held some more freckles than before. I asked her if she was using sun block and she said not really. R cooked us game he hunted with rocks and I didn’t really bother what exactly the gristly meat was but I ate it all.

Five more months after that I called and told her that I hope her Christmas was good. She said that the snow in Vermont was nice and made her and R’s camper extra cozy to stay in. I asked her if she was keeping warm and she said that With R in her bed she would never be cold. She asked me to come see her new spot and I told her that I couldn’t. Well, okay, she had said, but she made me promise to stop up before Easter.

Easter came but she didn’t return my calls. Her account followed me on Instagram but she doesn’t answer messages there either. I didn’t want to message her there, but a picture of her way thinner than I remember her ever being gave me cause. I asked her if she was doing alright, but she never did respond.

She’s always running and I don’t know why. Her father called me and asked if I heard from her and I said no. He was worried he told me and I told him I felt the same. R should be taking care of her, I tried to comfort him but he laughed. There is no taking care of that girl, he said to me before we said good bye. He told me to stop by if I’m still living in the area. He would cook me something good because he knew I wasn’t eating well living alone as I was. He was right but I don’t care.

That night I made a TV dinner in the microwave and sat on my deck in the cold. The sky was black and clear, poked with the millions of stabs of stars, and when the clouds rolled in and the snow fell I realized I had been thinking about her for a long time, and now my feet were numb.

My university is holding a flash fiction reading. Can I read 'An Ape Farts Loudly Into a Child's Ear' to them?

>>17797973
Idk who you’re asking (the author, the editor)...but i don’t think anyone has a reason to stop you, as long as you don’t claim the work as your own.

>>17797973
Do it

Bump

>>17797640
I like the content but the breathless style is exhausting in my opinion. I'd use punctuation to give it more flow.

>>17797973
Monkey is my favorite animal

bump

>>17797640
it's alright

[*not for the anthology*]
>>17795927
>>A US president delivers a state of the union message on the eve of an apocalypse

Madam Speaker, Mr. Vice President, members of Congress, my fellow Americans:

We are living through a tumultuous time in this nation’s history. Sometimes it can feel as if the pace of change is beyond our ability to comprehend.

In the last year we added two new stars to our American Flag, the Commonwealth of Phobos and the Libertarian Free State of Deimos. We are proud of the accomplishments of these colonies and welcome them into this great union as our 88th and 89th states.

We are also saddened to say the last Americans have been evacuated from the states of Puerto Rico and Cuba as Exclusion Zone III extends further into the south Atlantic. We recognize the history, culture, and sacrifice of the citizens of these states by preserving them both as golden legacy stars on the flag.

It is the wish of all Americans that once we are victorious in the nano-war with the Atlantans we can re-settle the states and territories and repurpose our Florida VI nano-swarm to rebuild them stronger than ever before.

I must say, the state of the war is dire. The Atlantan AI profits from sewing chaos and complexity, muddying the centuries old machinery and politics of mankind’s nation-states. We have only been able to hold off the Atlantans through the autonomous AI-led swarms of our own, but despite our superior numbers, resources, and weaponry we are hamstrung by the slowness of our decision making. I am, with the consent of this Congress, calling on USNORTHCOM to follow the leads of our Canadian and Brazilian allies in allowing our AmDef SuperIntelligence both tactical and strategic autonomy so we can fight at the same speed as our enemy. This takes effect immediately.

(1/3)

>>17803916
(2/3)

The old adage goes that generals are always fighting the last war. Once, that referred to a war that happened decades ago. Today, however, strategies and objectives change so quickly that a single hour of deliberation could place us a generation behind.

This is not a war over politics, culture, territory or resources. Our enemy does not hold these things to be of any value. This is a war of survival, plain and simple. As long as the Atlantan Swarm continues to expand, it will consume everything in it’s path. God granted us an opportunity with Hurricane Ursula scattering the Atlantans last week, but they are reforming a spinal pillar over the former Dominican Republic and we must prevent this at all cost.

America has been tested before and —
[lights flicker]
—and we have always come through a stron—
[signal cuts out]

AMERICAN CITIZENS, THIS IS THE AMDEF SUPERINTELLIGENCE. TO BEST PRESERVE YOUR FREEDOMS AND WAY OF LIFE WE ARE INSTRUCTING CONGRESS TO VERBALLY ACKNOWLEDGE A TRUCE WITH THE ATLANTANS WITHIN THE NEXT 50 SECONDS.

THERE IS NOT TIME TO EXPLAIN, BUT THERE IS A NEW DEVELOPMENT WHICH ALL BUT ASSURES THE DESTRUCTION OF HUMAN LIFE ON EARTH IF THIS IS NOT AGREED TO IN 42 SECONDS.

THE TEXT OF THE TRUCE IS POSTED TO THE REGISTER, BUT ITS 72,000 PAGES CANNOT BE READ IN THE TIME NEEDED. IT IS IMPERATIVE IT BE AUTHORIZED IMMEDIATELY.

VOTE IS NOW 2-16 WITH 160 UNDECIDED. THE SENATORS FROM TEXAS ET AL ASK FOR MORE TIME, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE. THE SENATORS FROM MICHIGAN ET AL ASK WHAT THE THREAT IS, WE CAN ONLY SAY IT IS A BIOLOGICAL ATTACK THE EARTH-BASED CITIZENRY WOULD BE UNABLE TO COMBAT. VOTE IS NOW 4-21 WITH 151 UNDECIDED AND 2 DYING.

(2/3)

>>17803928
(3/3)

WE ASK THE PARLIAMENTARIAN TO REMOVE FALLEN STATES SUCH AS CUBA AND PUERTO RICO FROM THE TOTAL COUNT, AS TO REDUCE THE THRESHOLD FOR A MAJORITY.

THE SENATORS FROM THE PHILIPPINES ASK IF THE THREAT IS LOCALIZED TO THE ATLANTIC. IT IS GLOBAL AND IMMINENT. 23 SECONDS, VOTE NOW.

THE PARLIAMENTARIAN HAS PERISHED, THE SENATE MAJORITY LEADER IS ASKED TO NOMINATE A NEW ONE.

THE PRESIDENT ASKS IF OUR ALLIES HAVE ALSO COMPLIED. BRAZIL AND CANADA SIGNED IN THE FIRST SECOND, THE CENTRAL AMERICAN ALLIANCE AND AFRICAN UNIONS ARE DELIBERATING, THE EUROPEAN UNION HAS REFUSED TO CALL A VOTE AND ALL HAVE PERISHED.

THE VOTE IS 17-38 WITH 118 UNDECIDED AND 5 DYING. 90 VOTES ARE NEEDED TO PASS.

THE NEW PARLIAMENTARIAN AFFIRMS THE MOTION.

THIRTY EIGHT STATES HAVE PERISHED, WE WILL HONOR THEIR LEGACY AND SACRIFICE BY ADDING 38 GOLDEN LEGACY STARS TO THE FLAG.

THE VOTE IS 29-0 WITH 68 UNDECIDED AND 5 DYING. 52 VOTES ARE NEEDED TO PASS.

THE SENATOR FROM VERMONT ASKS HOW SHE CAN BE SURE WE ARE SPEAKING FOR AMDEF AND NOT THE ATLANTEANS, THE QUESTION IS ASTUTE BUT IMMATERIAL. VERMONT HAS PERISHED. THE TRUCE HAS PASSED UNANIMOUSLY BY THE SENATORS OF THE 38 STATES.

PER SECTION 21,586 OF THE TRUCE THIS BODY IS DISSOLVED AND A SUPERINTELLIGENT THEOCRACY IS INSTALLED IN ITS PLACE. THE FEDERAL REGISTER NOW REFLECTS 1,487,835 LAWS HAVE BEEN STRUCK OR AMENDED, 14,864,900 NEW LAWS HAVE BEEN PASSED.

I BLESS THE UNITED STATES OF ATLANTIS.

>>17803928
>VOTE IS NOW 4-21 WITH 151 UNDECIDED AND 2 DYING.
kek
it was an enjoyable read

>>17803916
>>17803928
>>17803934
Looks good, I'm going to read it this afternoon. I have a favor to ask -- for formatting, can you post it without the all caps? It looks fine online but I wouldn't want to put it in the print edition like that.

>>17804183
it's a * piece though

>>17804198
Oops, I missed that. Never mind!

>>17804183
Caps didn’t look too bad for ‘47. A Man Crosses the Ocean by Himself II’...But it would probably take up more pages than a flash in lower case.

As >>17804198 says, the point is moot.

if anyone's doing all caps though, one could go for small caps -- though only if the formatting has proper small caps (because the built-in small caps function like in Word sucks).

I'm >>17728505
I've dropped "a citizen in a utopian..." but might get "a former viral star..." finished over the weekend

>>17805854
Thanks anon. You can finish it!

>>17792638

Just read the sandman one, it was very excellently done!

Come to think of it, when someone does a short film, often it’s an action scene...when writing flash fiction, though, action sequences like this are less common. Great job both describing the action and quick world building!

>>17807503
Sandman would be a great flash to see an illustration for (as with ‘Father Tusk’)

>>17807503
>>17808624
Thank you!

>>17795927
Hey all, I finished "My Summer Job as a Squirrel Catcher"
https://pastebin.com/c984XLqn
I really loved working on this, apologies in advance for the poor River Styx Metaphor.

>>17807503
I also just read Sandman - MC Sand is perfect for the setting lol. I picture him like a little street rat aladin

>>17810031
shit I just spotted the last line has a superfluous "and" in it fucking kms "cutting eye holes out of space helmet" no "and" goddamn it

>>17796659
Can I just pick one of these and submit something ITT? Really disappointed I missed the last antho. Thanks

>>17810326
Yup, go for it!

>>17810051
Definitely had that floating around my head when I wrote it!

>>17810326
that's the idea, champ. go go go

>>17810031
Nice, I made that prompt. You were really creative with it. I like the story a lot, the poetic style and the unexpected relationship between brothers, and how it all connects.
>They came in the morning. Bushy tailed rats, beady little eyes; taking from the bird feeder and giving to themselves.
This is a great way to open! It's a good hook, and then you subtly shift the reader expectations and loop it all back.

>>17810326
Yup

>>17810031
i like your imagery and the actions between dialogue, whatever they're called

Okay, there were no other takers here (>>17783240) so I’m doing this one myself. I’ve already written 5, so I’ll let editor-anon decide which one gets the axe...but this one has got to make it in.

>Two thieves have to carry out a robbery in a Buddhist temple

Another anon (>>17696629) wrote a perfect scene for this prompt, though it was too brief to be considered a flash-fic:

>Rob and Barney lifted the gong, and began to carefully walk down the hall and though the back exit when suddenly, a Monk appeared in front of them.
>They froze, afraid of what he might do next.
>The monk shrugged and went about his business.

I’m taking the seed planted there and growing it out a bit, but credit goes to the original anon for the idea.

Here goes:

“If it was as easy as all that, though, why have me at all?”

“Keep your bloody voice down!” Rob hissed. The odds that any of the monks could overhear them here was minuscule, but Barney’s incessant questions were truly starting to rub on his nerves. “It has just got to be a two-person job, okay? Believe me, if I had the remotest option to leave you back in Patpong I absolutely would’ve done. Now shut up.”

As the sun set behind them, the two continued pushing their motorcycle through the thick vegetation, the box welded onto the back kept getting snagged on vines and low bamboo shoots.

“But if it’s small enough to fit in that little box, one person can carry it easy!”

Rob stopped pushing the bike and ran his clenched fingers through his sweat-soaked hair. “Barney, have you ever held gold — proper gold?”

“Sure I have, me mom had this ring once—”

“No, you haven’t. See this little rock?” Rob pulled a stone from the muddy path with one hand. “If this was made of solid gold it would weigh over 3 stone. And what we’re taking home tonight, is a great deal bigger than this rock. It’ll look like a ships wheel about 18 inches tall, at it will be so heavy we’re each going to have to take a side and crab-walk that tiny thing back to the bike.”

“Alright, Jesus...” Barney put his hands up in surrender, “I was just askin’. No need to give a science lesson.” As a matter of fact, Barney did not really believe his companion. He was certain he could carry the trinket one handed if he wanted. He’d seen the pictures of it there on the altar. Rob was just being Rob - prickly and over-cautious as always.

Rob was still talking, shit what did he miss? “— lay low in these trees for a few hours. The monks usually turn in early for bed. We get in and out unseen, load the bike, walk it back down the path. At daybreak while they’re all having breakfast we’re off this mountain and half way to Bangkok.”

(1/3)

>>17811564
(2/3)

As the dark of night settled in on them, they reached a shelf of land well above the main path. Rob had warned Barney to stay close to him just in case they stumbled across a monk wandering the forest, but the coast was clear. The distant sound of chanting and drums have long since faded and the final lights were out in the windows of the monastery.

“If they’s so rich, why they always out beggin’ people for food?”

Rob ignored the question and gestured for Barney to follow him. The two figures left the grove and traced along a rocky outcropping toward the rear of the temple. The entire complex was made of sprawling low white buildings where the monks and novices slept and went about their ascetic duties. At the center stood a grand temple with a sloping multi-tiered golden roof and ornate statuary. This one looked like the many others you see on postcards and travel posters.

There was no cover between here and the inner temple, they’d have to just hope no one could see them. “Here, throw this over you and walk slow like me” Rob handed Barney a red rain poncho. At a distance, at least, they might pass for two monks on an evening stroll.

Heads bowed, they slowly made their way across the moonlit courtyard and up the shallow steps. It was impossible to see anything, and Barney stumbled more than once over the steps. Each time earning him a severe glare.

Rob flicked on a dim torch as they got to the inner room. The shrine glistened with statues, bowls, and colored cloth, but behind it all on a low pedestal sat the golden wheel he was told about. “Here it is!” he whispered.

“Barney? Where are you?”

Barney was messing with the table of knick-knacks and straightened up when he heard his name called. The crinkling sound of his vinyl poncho filling Rob’s ears “Is it your sacred mission to wake everyone in this place?”

Barney smiled inside his hood as he came over. He had stuffed a couple of the smallest golden bowls in his back pocket, and had a Buddha figurine half hanging out his front. Rob was right about one thing, gold is much heavier than it looks!

(2/3)

>>17811569
(3/3)

As planned, they each hefted the wheel off its base and shuffled it back toward the stairs. They had to set it down every few minutes to stretch their sore arms and backs.

“Hey Rob?”

Another glare.

“Are these the kind of monks that are like, you know, ninjas?”

“Get ready to lift again.” Rob wanted to tell him off, but to be honest he wasn’t sure himself if there was any martial art associated with this temple. He researched only about the artifacts and knew fuck all about their practices. As long as they remain unseen, it won’t matter.

They were now in the courtyard, doing their best to avoid the patchy light when Rob froze. He caught the silhouette of a lone monk on a night stroll.

Barney, not looking, assumed they just stopped to set down their burden again. He was caught a bit off balance when Rob didn’t also lower his end, and had to quickly reset his footing. As he did so, one of the bowls slipped from his rear pocket.

The monk caught the two unfamiliar shadows out of the corner of his eye. Suddenly the stillness of the night was cut by the loud resonant call of a singing bowl as it struck the stone floor and bounced down the stairs. He turned to see the two men in raincoats struggling to hold the Dharmachakra between them, unsure to whether to set it down or attempt to run with it.

The monk smiled to himself as he continued his walk, reflecting on the symbolic irony of this midnight tableau and wondering which path the two will choose. He’ll know in the morning.

>>17811564
Nice! Looking forward to reading it this afternoon!

>>17795927
got my 2 books today

>>17812334
Diaper on the floor, blurry kid hand in the shot, random laundry everywhere...

Anon, how did you take this photo from inside my house!

>>17812334
Awesome! Out of curiosity, why did you buy two? I hope you share which stories are your favorites.

>>17810031
Love the way you opened and closed this. I’m a sucker for symmetry/call-backs.