/lit/ - Literature

Does anyone have experience using Royal road...

>just found out that 'Lucid' means 'clear and rational', and not 'euphoric and out-of-body-esque' like I have been using
Yes, I am retarded.

Have you got any words that you thought you knew what they meant, and used them incorrectly?

>>17795362
Unless you're making a litrpg or something resembling an anime you won't get even 10% of the audience you are currently envisioning.

>short story
>almost 3,000 words in
>set in 1990s Georgia
>naive country country girl leaves the farm to become a stripper in Atlanta
>experiences some wild shit
>has her first hardcore lesbian experience
>no idea how to finish story
Any help?

>>17795675
give more details. Vibe, themes, "wild shit", etc. I;ll help you before I go to bed if you're quick to reply

>>17795153
behead vtubers and their simpathizers

Continuing from >>17787977

A Pastebin for those who want to quote: https://pastebin.com/vSiPN25R

I'm currently at 2700 words and estimate the chapter to be 25% complete, however it's still in the orientation. I've entered the part where my prose can finally be tightened up (beige highlights), but there's only 2 paragraphs worth of narrative to analyse and the rest is speech. I've noticed my MC isn't very active despite being the POV and I'm hoping that the kids in general are enough to carry the story until she does become active.

“I think the source of the problem is what you went through with your father. How he... touched you.”

“Touched me? The fuck are you talking about? He railed me up the ass if that’s what you mean. Better fuck than any of the losers I’ve had since.”

Making the implication that my story will be full of gay characters, can I still discuss it here?

>>17795675
An overdose seems like the only appropriate ending if you are going for a tragedy.

How come I can write 10,000 short stories but not 1 long story?

>>17795609
What the fuck is a litrpg. It sounds like exactly what I'm thinking it is, but I hope it's not.

>>17795463
I consider myself highly literate and I still do that sometimes. Just like how I can't remember how to spell beurarucracy no matter how many times I look it up, or occasionally mistake there, they're and their. I think it's natural to have such coding errors in the brain, nothing too uncommon. It's only a real problem if its systematic .

>>17796135
It's easier to have 10,000 small ideas rather than 1 big idea.

>>17796176
You probably don't ever consider etymology. Bureau is French, obviously. If you know any French spelling, chateau, chapeau, beau, eaux, you just know the vowel combination that produces specific sounds and can math out the full proper spelling of English loanwords in your head. You'll never forget how to spell bureaucracy, or beautiful, or renaissance ever again (renaissance kind of unrelated but I always had trouble with that word until I realized what it's individual parts were).

>>17796242
Yeah I know it's a french word assholau

How do you get over the dread that the work that you spend your life honing becomes nothing more than something for the average midwit to consume?

Even then, they won't even consume all of it, they'll consume a bit and throw it away, and forget about it in less than a day.

>>17796273
By living a life that is more than 'being a writer'. Enjoy what you write but don't make it your entire identity.

Bros I have a tech/layout question which doesn't warrant its own thread and should be allowed here in any case. I don't just enjoy writing, I like translating as well. Especially poetry, I think it's good practice and really activates those almonds. In short, any neat tricks to creating parallel texts with Word? I.e., I have a source text and target text which I want side by side to facilitate commentary and for ease of review. Inb4
>Word
I use this unintuitive dogshit processor because of work, slow acquisition because stubborn and stupid. Third-party sites are welcome along with any tips and tricks.

>>17796296
What else is in life is more enjoyable than your hobby?

>>17795675
maybe she learns that being a stripper isn't all it's cracked up to be

maybe her dad is a customer

>>17795153
>Any progress on your novels?
No, but yes.
Been watching a writer tuber and she gave an interesting take on preparing to write the story with aesthetic boards and theme selection which has inspired me to write all night.

Still can't decide between a real novel or a web novel though.

>>17795362
I read that chests novel on their and it made me laugh a few times.
If you want to research try wuxia world and quidan.

Taking a week off from my job to go train hopping for a week. I hope to get from Seattle to LA. I'm writing a short story about a bored 20-something careerman, massively in debt, with no hopes of an exciting life, meeting a drifter girl and skipping town with her. I've never train hopped before, but I've been in contact with a few local guys who do it often and got good tips. I really wanna get the feeling of being out there, alone. Worst case I make it halfway and hitchhike back to Seattle.

>>17796361
>>17795609
Yeah it seems very much centered around light novels/fantasy writing/fan fictions. The pieces I have are more along the lines of an early chuck palahnuik book in style and content.

I’d like to post serially but don’t know where would be best. I guess I can wait until they are all finished and maybe try out traditional publishing (assuming it’s actually any good) or something else.

>>17795153
>Any progress on your novels?
Haven't written anything since summer 2020 (med school is a bitch).

>Fantasy with victorian/steampunk elements
>50k words so far
>MC is an exiled blind princess who got recruited in a Religious Assasin Cult, became bodyguard of the Empress after a ritual that gave her powers and years of training
>She, alongiside her unit, must put down a rebellion against the empire

>>17796402
Anon, you're not bound to single site publishing. Dump your works on royal road and make a word press for it. Start up an author twitter and aggressively spam emoticon comments in authors posts who write in the same genre and build a following.

>>17796429
That’s a very good point. Thank you.

>>17796242
I can only spell 'Beautiful' by doing an Ace Ventura impression.

>>17795463
I always thought "mediocre" meant something aking to "middling", kinda like "adequate if a bit lacking".

>>17795153
>Any progress on your novels?

Yes. It’s a series of rants/conversations with our narrators therapist as they confront childhood trauma, stress from overwork, general loneliness and confusion over societal issues.

I’m stuck on how to end it. I think I’ll have it parallel with the same path their mother is shown to have gone through and succumb to alcoholism, or potentially they commit suicide in an attempt to escape the cycle, or maybe have it end on a happy note where they save themself and finally quit the toxic work environment and start over as a sort of rebirth.

Also I’m trying to make the gender ambiguous to the reader but it’s a partially influenced by a close friend of mine (female).

>>17795463
i thought detrimental meant determining. how embarassing. i even misspelt 'embarrassing' there.

>>17795153
thoughts everyone

>A round graying suited man ate his breakfast in peace. His dome of a head gleamed under the morning sun. After he ate, he took a stroll down to the church he usually goes to every Sunday. It was in ruins. everything was in indistinguishable rubble. Expect for the large door frame and pew which sits nice in the open breeze. He took a seat on the pew and prayed. His bald head glowed brightly.

>>17796273
Enjoy writing and becoming better at it. Mastering a skill is a pleasure. Write one impactful book, short story, or even an article and readers will remember it forever.

>>17795463
I thought fatalistic meant kind of nihilistic, resigned and disinterested in life
I never knew it had to do with fate until I looked it up. Guess I'm a retard.

>>17796167
It's the kind of shit I wrote when I was 12 and too poor to buy real video games. I can't believe it's popular now

>>17797231
Well, I think its point is a linear ladder of progress that is summarized every chapter. And turning battles and character interactions into dice rolls amd math.

If I write 1000 words a day every day, I will be finished in 55 days. If I write 2000 words a day, I will be finished in 28. If I write 500 words a day, I will be finished in 110 days.
This frightens me somehow. Such a small difference in daily output, such a huge difference in time.

>>17797346
Just write a small amount each day. If you aim to hit 1000 or 2000 a day and miss a day or two, you'll start to feel overwhelmed and just stop altogether, then 110 days will go by and you'll say damn, what happened?

>>17797346
Do you have a timetable? Do you have a due date? If not just take it at your own pace. It's taken me three months to write sixty pages

does anyone save stuff they like from /lit/? Im trying to make a best of

>>17795739
gimme lit savings

>>17797346
I mean it's basic math.

>>17796888
>A round graying suited man
"graying suited" is awkward. Is it him that is graying? But he's bald. Is it his suit? Then the tense of "suited" doesn't make sense.

>His dome of a head gleamed under the morning sun
I would write this "The dome of his head gleamed..."

>Expect for the large door frame and pew which sits nice in the open breeze
First of all you mean "except." Also never use "large" as a descriptor. It's bland. Try "and the pew which sat nice in the open breeze."

>His bald head glowed brightly."
Maybe you want another word instead of "glowed", such as "shone" or "gleamed." Glowed makes it seem that his head is a self-illuminating object, like a lightbulb. Maybe that's what you were going for, but the implication is that the sun is shining on his head.

>>17797346
Well at least keeping things in perspective like that makes you value the importance of consistency and daily goals. What's really frightening is when you're intermittent with your work and you only become aware of time when you realize it's been 5 years since you started writing and you still have nothing to show for it.

>>17797346
and if you write 55,000 words in one day, you could be finished right now you lazy ass

>>17797545
Now I’m paranoid to post things here... I guess I should’ve been initially

>>17797346
500 words a day is a good minimum goal. achievable. some days you'll absolutely blow through it and hit 1.5k or 2k. Others you'll be struggling to get it out but its doable. The most important thing is to write every or near every day so that you're constantly thinking about your story. people say to take breaks, and short breaks are fine, but longer breaks tend to disassociate you with what you've been doing. good if you're really stuck, but usually not.

How do I describe a huge spider monster shooting a glob of web at a young fairy in a nonsexual manner?

>>17797772
I don’t think you can

>>17797791
This is a problem. I may just have to refocus the scene so that the narrative doesn't cover the event in detail.

Will be starting my 2 hours dedicated to writing this evening. Hope I get through that hard chapter and put some alright text in there.

Which brings me to something I want to ask - do you try to write chronologically or are you jumping around picking the more fun parts first?

>>17798058
>- do you try to write chronologically
well, yes

>>17797772
>the beast reared back, exposing its underbelly, letting loose thick spurts of white goo, covering the nubile young girl. she opened her mouth to scream, but it was cut off, the beasts thick, virulent fluid entering her open mouth, coating her tonsils
why contain it?

>>17798495
>coating her tonsils

What is the most aesthetic writing app?
I need something for when I can't use my notebook.

>>17798058
>Hope I get through that hard chapter and put some alright text in there.
Well, I did. The word count is meh, but I advanced on the story and I consider it a successful evening.

>>17799219
Great job, anon

>>17799128
I like Bear

/wg/, I'm trying to flesh out a character idea who currently is way too similar to another character in an existing work of fiction that I've already borrowed heavily from

here's what I know about him
>born some time in the 1940s
>a dorky idiot of a kid, the kind who would say "gee willikers" completely unironically
>he's the kind of person you'd identify as someone more normal's weird childhood friend
>also had a quixotic dream of exploring the world in a hot air balloon
>also kind of wimpy
>has an obsession with exploration and aviation, that led him to explore caves under the city

>>17799411
Maybe he has encyclopedic knowledge of lizards, and, depending on where it’s set, he’s never seen one

>>17799579
Lizards might not work (for certain plot-related reasons my characters are limited in what they can interested in), but maybe he'd be interested in cryptids living in the upper atmosphere. a balloon-like one would be perfect because of the motif he's tied to

>>17799411
>has an obsession with aviation
>that led him to explore caves under the city
how does that work exactly, are there underground airships in your story?

>>17799411
take a step back and think about the function of the character in the larger scale of the work, go from there.

>writing a chapter
>trying to live by the maxim show, don't tell
>have loads of clues and details about various things happening, but also completely torn about whether my readers will even notice, or put those details together
>considering just explaining shit just so I can be sure they won't miss what I want them to know

Fuck bros what do I do.

>>17800005
Literally just write it all out and go back and edit what you don't need. Good writing is literally like 100% editing.

Fuck anime and anime girls, do you do anything other than look at retarded gook scribbles of females. Why not use an interesting image in these threads?

>>17795153
>LOOK GIRLS WITH MULTICOLOR HAIR AND THE SAME FACIAL STRUCTURE
At least post interesting looking anime girls with soul of your gonna do this. You people can’t go one day without looking at woman, can you.

>>17800005
You could always explain stuff after you’ve laid out a ton of clues. Readers like to feel that satisfaction of being right, and people who don’t know what’s happening will get caught up

The beginning of a story about a little animist deity.

In addition to your general thoughts / pointing out flaws etc. I'd like feedback on the pacing. Initially I was way too overeager in wanting to push the story along as quickly as possible, so it felt really rushed. I then shoved filler into the text, which didn't improve it that much since it was kinda noticeable. Now I've hammered a little more on it to the point it's starting to look more or less like an integrated whole.

Also, my native language isn't English; I'm not saying that as an excuse, I'd just like to know if it's noticeable from the text.

How do you guys handle anachronisms and inconsistencies in the setting regarding time and era? I'm trying to discuss current issues and phenomena in an indeterminate 1920s milieu and failing miserably. Until now I've been deliberately vague with dates and historical events, but it is becoming harder and harder to keep up the balancing act. I am loath to pick a specific year, since it might introduce plot holes and exclude topics i want to write about for purely technical reasons.
A solution would be to write the same story in the 21st century, but I enjoy the aesthetic of the 1920s. I don't want to go full "hmu in the twitter dms bro *dab*", but at the same time it would be difficult to write a novella set in the current year without including the internet and similar hyper-modern inventions.

>>17799887
he's interested in exploration as well as aviation. When you're stuck as a city kid, your exploring options are places like tunnels and abandoned buildings.

>>17799979
that's probably for the best. This guy is basically a replacement for a random redshirt whose only personality traits were "creepy simp" and "balloon fetishist" and whose entire purpose in the story was to give a bitchy girl a nerd to push around who later gets murdered, triggering hostilities.

I wanted to add a ghost-related subplot to a later book in the series, but because he's the only character who died (and there's some weird motif I'm following) I realized he was going to have to be the ghost so I needed to retool him. While retooling him I realized I could tie him into a much more important character's backstory, and indeed the backstory of the entire setting.

Long story short, this is his role:
>Book 1: He's introduced as the bitchy girl's weird friend then gets killed. Later in the book, another character first notices a spooky shadow man is watching him
>Book 2: The spooky shadow man keeps stalking that character, and at few points helps or even saves him. At the end of the book, when that character dies he learns the shadow man is this dude
>Book 3: this dude and the other character have an adventure in the land of the dead as the other character tries to weasle his way out of death. This shows parts of this dude's backstory and reveals that his childhood adventures with a different friend he grew up with resulted in the latter finding the thing in the tunnels that set the entire plot in motion

>>17800408
You should probably just pick a date. You don't have to explicitly tell the reader though, which means there's still some flexibility to paper over eventual minor plot holes. Not that they matter a whole lot anyway.

As for excluding topics, well, it might make it *harder*, but it's rarely impossible. Figuring out how to express some specific idea in an unorthodox scenario can even be fun and produce better results than doing it the obvious straightforward way.

I wrote 3000 words today, so I'm pretty happy. That said, I swore I would stop writing at 1am, and now it's 1.45. Shit. Was going to read before bed but I guess that's out.

>>17800650
Nice work Anon

>>17800650
>meets one goal
>immediately fails another
you rack disciprine

“Calorie Master stop this is insane! There are millions of innocent women in that city. You can't use them as guinea pigs for your fat ray."

“Oh yes I can, you low testosterone lamebrain. And you’ll have a front row seat.”

>>17796381
I was friends with a lot of artsy people in High School, and I've read a lot of attempts at this sort of wish-fulfillment wanderlust story. People who idolize Chris McCandless. The concept isn't terrible in and of itself but very often the writer attempts to create a fictional travelogue based on a warped version of reality. So really there's two separate questions you're asking here and I'll get the easy one out of the way first:

If you're not the type of person who already routinely goes trainhopping then you won't enjoy trainhopping. You'll be cold, tired, and cramped the entire time, and no one wants to hire caucasian day laborers so you'll also be panhandling for money unless you already have savings. I'd advise that you just take a couple weeks from work if you have that luxury and drive down the coast. I've done both (Seattle to LA) and the second option is definitely preferable. I also recently quit my job and just traveled around the country (mid-2019), and the feeling was one of anxiety at having no plan for the future and watching my savings evaporate way faster than the worst-case scenario I calculated before leaving.

Second question: how to make this type of story not suck. You need to have conflict. The problem with most of these types of stories is that they are pure wish-fulfillment. A guy like you've described hits the rails with a manic pixie dream girl, totally bones her the second night they're together, works a series of temporary jobs alongside salt-of-the-earth Blue Collar types who just gush with rustic wisdom, does a lot of drugs, and then has a mutually-amicable break-up with the girl and the story ends with him on the highway with his thumb in the air and a dream in his heart.

From the meager synopsis you've provided, I'd suggest definitely 100% having the dude get friendzoned by the drifter girl. I mentioned earlier that I went railing down the coast. I was inspired to do so by an ex-girlfriend who told wonderful tales of all the kind-hearted people she met and all the fun parties she went to, and how she had so many great experiences with locals and never short on work yadda yadda yadda. It sounded great because I didn't realize at the time that she was an attractive young woman and I was a pasty awkward dude. When I explained that everyone I met treated me like a child molester, her response was that I just wasn't giving out the right energy or some other hippy shit. A bit of prying revealed that these kind-hearted locals and spur-of-the-moment employers were all guys, but she really couldn't comprehend that these dudes wanted to fuck her and in her mind it was totally natural for strangers to give you free drugs and lodging just because you're a totally chill person with a unique outlook on life. So put that shit in your fucking story. She's spending the night with random dudes while her "bestie" sits huddled beneath a tree in the cold rain.

>>17795463
I thought exceptional was like 'acceptable' ie average or okay, instead of outstanding
>>17796506
That's pretty much correct though.
>>17795977
Fellow gay-post poster here, I'll read it.

>>17801480
>Mountain lair is in ruins
>Hero is flying away with mad scientist
>"The only calories YOU'LL be giving out are in the prison cafeteria

>>17801622
Yeah, this.

Additionally, from the POV of a local who sees a lot of these transients passing through my city, there's fuck-all real philosophy or insight generated anyway; they come here, tell lies of what they do back home, spend all night in bars, try to hook up with fellow travelling waste-of-spaces, spend all day sleeping it off, and go back home to tell lies of what they did on holiday "finding themselves". Or as is more common these days, spend hours posing for Instagram photos and Youtube videos. Probably hoping that if they convince everyone else their lives aren't amazingly pointless, they might just convince themselves as well.

Continued from >>17795736

Link for quoting: https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/40867/my-writing-exercises/chapter/648162/exercise-17
Pastebin wouldn't let me paste it because it thinks I have bad words for some reason.

At 3400 words, I've completed the first part of this chapter (which is outlined as the fifth chapter overall). I've received some critique from the previous thread that've mentioned the prose is different from everyday language. I'm reluctant to make any changes to some long-winded or weird phrases in this first part.

There are some things I'd like critiqued:
1) There is a short action scene that uses lots of "click, clap, tangle." Does it feel overdone?
2) After the kids are captured, I switched up "said X" to "X said." I tried to be as concise as possible with narratives that concern the antagonists. Do you feel it made a difference?

>>17800363
I liked it. I'd expect some plot to come in soon, or else it's just descriptive writing. No one would be able to tell you were ESL from this. I think I saw one mistake where you used "of" instead of "off." Most are used correctly.

How taboo a poly relationship where2 of the partners are twins would be? I want to do something unconventional for it to accompany my already very unconventional setting (there are no biological births for example), but I don't know if that would be too much. The project will have illustrations if that makes any difference.
>>17801639
Thanks m8 I wqs thinking I would go without a reply.

>>17802057
Depends. How common is incest really?

>>17802109
Good question, how common would incest be if the offspring were guaranted to have no genetic diseases regardless of genetic proximity? Considering that our aversion to it is entirely based on the adaptative instinct derived from trying to produce healthier offspring. In the u story it wouldn't be seen as taboo, I was referring to the readers reactions.

I need to start cutting distractions out of my life. between my writing group, dnd game and weekly family meeting that's already 3 nights a week i'm not writing, and it blows up any chance I have of building momentum

no wonder I'm falling behind

>>17802436
are you literally me? I haven't written anything in a week because of other hobbies and being a giant coomer

>>17802456
I'm able to write maybe 1-3 nights a week on average. at least one night a week is just getting lost to bad discipline or anxiety. it's easier to force through when you're doing it every night, but I already have so many cheat days it's hard to resist one more

>>17795153
>Any progress on your novels?
I published my first novel on Amazon a few weeks ago, submitted it to a prominent book award so maybe that'll go somewhere. I'm currently going through some bad RL shit and suffering from depression. I'm currently working on a short Story I wanna send to a Lit Magazine. I have another novel I need to work on but I need to do some research before the writing process and I wanna write and not research, hence the focus on the short story at the moment.

>>17802436
Just be careful, all inspiration comes from the outside, if you cut too many of the things that make you want to write, you might end up without motivation, so unless you are into meditation and getting inspiration from the other side, you might end up not knowing what to write

Worldbuilding sucks.
Research sucks too.
I just wanna write.

>>17802535
I differ. Worldbuilding makes me feel like a god. And research feeds my manic desire to know everything.

>>17802535
research and worldbuilding is a psyop by big fantasy to trick young writers into wasting their time on bullshit that doesn't matter so they can produce fiction that no one wants to read. truth is that worldbuilding is just as important to fantasy as it is to every other genre. as in, just keep it consistent and it really doesn't matter. your reader doesn't care about the details so you don't have to either.

>>17802528
my main issues are social obligations during the evenings

>>17802535
enjoying writing more than planning is a good problem to have

>>17802547
same. 95% of the fun of my story was building the world and the remaining 5% was those nights where the words just flowed out of my fingertips

>>17802563
What the fuck are you talking about milieu is all about the setting.
>your reader doesn't care
Are you fucking serious?

>>17802642
>enjoying writing more than planning is a good problem to have
It would be if I had the knowledge or intuition to be able to come up with settings or plots on the fly
I've tried various times to pants and I just can't do it
As is the days where I have to research or outline feel like torture, and the days I actually get to draft something out are freedomwith their own demons attached[/spoilwr]

>>17795675
>she gets killed by a black man
end

>>17796418
Re-read your story then think of somtin

>>17802140
>is entirely based on
I wouldn't say entirely. In tight-knit immediate families I'm sure it would feel "weird". But that's just me, call me an unimaginative sod in this regard.

I say that's the key driver because I know a friend who did date identical twins IRL, one after the other, so that end of the story at least I can see happening no problem. What would it take to get sisters into a threesome though, that's beyond me...

>>17802644
ok i should have said that the reader is smart enough to infer what's going on without motherfuckers dropping an exposition dump every time a new concept is introduced

>>17797545
here are some

>I'll wake up. Put on the coffee pot, slippers on. Step out to the balcony, light up. Cars are too loud, smoke another. Slide the door open. Pour a cuppa joe. Longingly look towards the evening, bourbon and soda in hand. Inhale the tannins as they diffuse into the room. Briefly feel at piece. Run some water in the mug. Put on pants, shoes, jacket. Stuff my bag with the necessary things. Worry I'm forgetting. Cap over my ears, I'm ready for the walk. It's all creeping back now.

>It happened as it had to happen when you build, against all common sense, a house on the edge of a cliff: shaken by a slight earthquake, it tumbled down the steep slope and disappeared – sploosh – in a foamy fountain of seawater. The inmates of this involuntary vehicle, the Hempel family of three, notoriously ill-famed for their obsessional ideas, which is another word for madness, found a damp and premature end in the abrupt passing of their home. And, if I may add, as sad as the sudden death of a family may be, the sight of a rainbow is, and always will be, beautiful.

>this one isn't fiction
>When I was 10 I had a crush on a girl who was always nice to me. I went watching musical Annie with her at my mum's bidding once. Didn't speak much to each other there but it was nice. She was sleeping next to me while we were on my parents car. She looked so adorable sleeping so I laid my head to her shoulder pretending to be asleep as well. It felt so nice, so comfortable. Probably one of my best memories I'll never experience again. She went to Canada (we exchanged farewell gifts) and I never heard from her again. That was probably like 11-12 years ago. I wonder what she's doing. I wonder if she remembers that.

Pulpy sort of short story I'm working on.


The ceiling mounted laser bounced harmlessly off his chest. “Not even a scratch,” he boasted. “You should know by now your cheap toys are useless.”

“We’ll see about that. He reached into his coat and produced a ray gun. “I’m glad you two bumbling fools showed up. It saved me the trouble of capturing you. Now you’ll have the honour of being guinea pigs for my latest invention.”

“Another ray gun? save it. No product of your second rate criminal brain has any chance of harming us. Give it your best shot, you maladjusted man of science, and then come quietly. Your old cell at Central prison is waiting.”

Instead of firing a shot at Justice Man, he turned it on the hero’s young sidekick.

“Oh please, anything he can take I can take. That piece of junk doesn’t scare me.” She stood confidently with hands on hips. “Hit me dead centre, creep.”

“I have a feeling you’ll be eating those words. Along with everything else in sight,” he added. A beam of yellow energy shot out of the gun and enveloped the heroine. She glowed for a few seconds before it dissipated.

“Hah, I didn’t feel a thing! If that’s the best you can come up with no wonder you’re stuck in this run down old place. Justice Man, let’s nail this guy and get out of here. We’ve got that media conference at...” she stopped as a tingling sensation began to spread through her body.

He noticed the concern on her face. “Justice Girl what’s wrong?”

“Uh, I feel kinda weird,” she said nervously. “I think this costume might’ve shrunk.”

Reading this thread it becomes quickly apparent that nothing anybody on this board will ever write anything of of value.

>>17803600
>it becomes quickly apparent that nothing anybody on this board will ever write anything
anon, are you ok?

If anyone on /lit/ writes something that wins an award, I want to see them namedrop /lit/ in their speech

>>17803686
Have I doomed myself from any recognition by being here?

>>17803686
i won't namedrop directly but you'll know who you are when i mention you

>>17803600
A lot of people write because they enjoy writing.

>>17803738
They should dedicate that time to reading more, a more valuable use of time than amateur affairs.

Yeah, big parades, I don't remember how many, we probably just went to the children's one but there were others I think. You'd stand on the side of the road and the people on these big floats would throw beads and candy and stuffed animals and moon pies.

But for some stupid fucking reason it was only ever banana moon pies. I hate banana moon pies. Where were the chocolate ones? Why did no one ever throw the chocolate ones? Does anyone actually like a banana moon pie? I've literally never met anyone who likes a banana moon pie. Who were they throwing these to? Why did they keep doing it - year after goddamn year? The ground would be littered in banana moon pies, no one fucking wants them.

Throw the chocolate ones, you idiots.

Will I be able to have lascivious and alluring high school girls in my story without getting hit by the cancel culture mob for "pedophilia"?

>>17804250
You can! John Green does it.

What are some easy signposts I can set up, outside of artwork, to indicate my story should be thought of in an "anime" or "realistic" context? Are there any at all?

>>17795675
Well, how do you actually want to end it? Is it the kind of story that has a definitive end, or is it a more ambiguous ending? Does she run back to the countryside only to feel a tingling in her loins calling her back to the stripper life at Atlanta? Does she decide that she hates the life and slaps a customer who reaches to give her money before storming out to her car? There are so many ways you could take this that there's only so much we can suggest.

>>17804266
Oh, good.

>>17804269
you said it yourself, artwork
why do you even bother to indicate how it should be visualized? the whole point of reading a book is making your own visual representation of it if unspecified on the cover
I mostly visualize fantasy and fiction in anime-style albeit I tend to switch to realistic styles when reading older works

>>17804305
>why do you even bother to indicate how it should be visualized?
Probably because I'm a loser who doesn't know how to visualize it myself.

>>17795675
she strips in front of an old dude, then realizes it's her old farm dad that came looking for her, she stops stripping in shock which causes the bouncer to arrive and get the old dude out, he protests, gets punched in the face, the violence of the punch triggers an aneurysm rupture

she look at herself in the mirror and cry, truly, what a dumb slut she was. she remembered her father post-moterm shaking on the street like a dead dog, and how everything would've been different if she had kept contact before going wild, the next thing you know she's on a train back to the countryside to bury her father, her family criticizes her for indulging in such retardation, at this point she's already broken and decides to leave forever. she doesn't know where, she stares at the rapidly passing landscapes, but she doesn't care.

What do you guys recomend doing if you are not sure how to describe something? Like someones outfit or a piece of scenery?

>>17802535
Worldbuilding is fun as fuck. Researching is boring as shit.

>>17804532
>not knowing how to describe something
You have way bigger problems

>>17804532
For scenery I like to go outside with a notebook and a camera, or alternatively use google maps for exotic scenery. I get inspiration for outfits by watching people in the street as well, but I obviously avoid photographing people.
If you're having problems coming up with the words I can't help you. Consult a thesaurus I guess.

>>17804588

Yeah with me its a word thing, not always sure on the best words to use but I guess its something you have to learn.

>>17802683
I feel your pain. But that doesn't mean you have to worldbuild right away. For example, start with an outline. And I mean a major outline that goes through all the major steps of a story or scene. If there's something that comes up - say, the hero uses a healing spell - stop and ask yourself questions. How does it work? What significance does this have to the world? Is this something that's rare or unique, and what kind of status does the hero have for using it?
You don;t have to answer every last question immediately, but broad strokes like that help you worldbuild while you do some actual writing, even if it's only the skeleton of what you want to write.

>>17804615
I get you, thanks for the advice
Part of what's frustrating about outlining is that even though I need the direction, the story will inevitably change in the writing anyway. It's fun but at the same time I can't help feeling it makes the outlining process more a waste of time than anything else, even if I know logically it's not
This is the equivalent of me venting by the water cooler, pay me no mind

>>17804713
>Part of what's frustrating about outlining is that even though I need the direction, the story will inevitably change in the writing anyway. It's fun but at the same time I can't help feeling it makes the outlining process more a waste of time than anything else, even if I know logically it's not
If your story changes to such an extent that is obsoletes your outline that means either you're in the zone and whatever you came up woth organically is better than your grand plan, or you spent too much time outlining and made it way too restrictive. Odds are its the 2nd. Outlining should be big broad points. Like, a 2 sentence overview for an entire chapter. Or chapters. More than that you'll run into your issue where it turns into a straitjacket.

This is it. If I write one more word, it’ll be the furthest in this story I’ve ever been.

This is it. If I write one more word, it’ll be the furthest in this story I’ve ever been.

>>17805033
This is it. If I write one more word, it’ll be the furthest in this story I’ve ever been.

>>17805022
>>17805033
>>17805127
C'mon, Sam.

>already 1.6k words today
Just 400 more! GIVE ME YOUR ENERGY!

>>17805247
This is it. If you write one more word, it'll be the furthest in the story you've ever been.

>>17805327
This is correct, but I've been the furthest I've ever been for 45 pages already

>>17805340
C'mon, Sam.

This is it. If you write one more word, it'll be the furthest in the shitposting you've ever been.

>>17805348
I should save some words so there'll be enough for the trip back.

>>17805361
This is it.

>>17805247
>2k words a day achieved once again
GORDON'S ALIVE AND SO AM I

work in progress

The branches unclose their dead, and the cardinals their squeak,
the garden shakes as the sun nears, the waters brighten.
The air is mild as a ribbon by the swings.
I live without the feeling, I go back to bed,

>>17805711
For it is this and this is it.
Each word I type will prolong it.
The furthest made in any tale seen.
Tis now the furthest I've ever been.

hey fellas, i wrote a quick poem the other day, it's pretty basic with a simple ab structure but it's the first one i've written and i'd really like to share with someone, it's about alcohol superficially but it's really about women

Elixir of creativity
From the men of old
curse me with divinity
and make me feel so bold

give me your spark of life
or tell me never to return
your gaze cuts me like a knife
and makes my soul eternal yearn

on the brightest of my days
you are the cloud above
you clear the self caused haze
and inspire such a love

torment without reckoning
trully i can't hear your call
then why do i feel you beckoning
from that empty hall

thoughts?

How do I find a good feedback method?
/lit/ is good, but sometimes nobody replies or they just call you a faggot.
Some of you say don't bother, but I think that's retarded.
Reddit's a pain.
Do any of you take part in writer's groups? How did you find them, or find a partner to trade work with? It's not bad on here or other online forums for short stories, but I don't really know how to get someone to give me valuable feedback on a 90,000 word novel.

So as not to start an entire thread for this:

Where are there "literary" hotbeds in America? Where is there that is both affordable and yet decently stimulating (culturally, intellectually, socially)?

Since leaving NYC I have yet to find such (for lack of a better term) "density" of thought, experimentation, exchange. Small-town bookstores will have an open mic for two hours once a month. Large cities will rape you in the wallet and leave you feeling perpetually behind. So, where do ideas and conversations go these days to percolate? (Besides the internet...I am so goddamn tired of the internet.)

>>17805711
>>17805780
Very nice, but keep it to one post, faggot.
I don't care for 'For it is this and this is it'

>>17805951
Nice. Gaze cuts me like a knife feels a bit cliche considering the rest seems nice and original.

>>17806038
Those are two different anons, anon.

>>17806004
Stop looking for feedback until you've finished a novel. Go on places like reddit and give feedback. Take note of anyone who you give feedback to and think is actually decent. When you finish your novel, message them directly and ask if they'd be interested in a critique swap. The opinions of random betas you don't know are in some ways less than worthless. If you select decent writers, you might actually learn something.

>>17806038
thanks anon, does this sound better?

upon my mind you lay such strife
and make my soul eternal yearn

>>17806057
O. Why did he reply like that then.

>>17806063
Thanks Anon. Have you done this? How did it work out?

>>17806072
This is it. If I write one more word, it’ll be the furthest in this story I’ve ever been.

>>17806004
>feedback on a 90,000 word novel
you'd have to pay me. you'd literally have to pay anyone who isn't a close friend. try fiverr.

>>17806084
So is the best bet to just clean it up as best and can and then start querying? I have a couple close friends who will read it free, I just don't trust their feedback to not be shit.

>>17806069
Yeah that's cool. I know it's hard to rewrite with a rhyming line in particular, so good job.

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/37998/wish-mountain

It's ya boy.
Next chapter someday soon. Whenever my editor has time to finish it.

>>17806386
>"This is it," Bunter Hounty muttered to himself, "If I take one more step, it'll be the furthest up wish mountain I've ever been."

>>17806430
Based

>>17806004
You break off the chunks that you think you have issues with and post them on /lit/ and we'll critique for free

Chapter 20 released.
https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/40361/erased

>>17806101
>So is the best bet to just clean it up as best and can and then start querying
were you planning on fobbing off a 90k word novel on poor unsuspecting beta readers without cleaning it up a bit first?
I sort of did that with the book I'm releasing on RR, but I definitely put some time editing beforehand and I've received good feedback both here and based on which chapters people stop at which made me put in a bunch more editing time. As far as free beta reading royal road has actually been great because of the metrics it gives. Granted, I'm not interested in trying to get it normally published because its a bit out there and would never in a million years be accepted. So doing something like that may not be an option for you, but if you can, you can get reasonable feedback.

>>17804974
Not him, but not everyone works that way. You give them a single sentence and they give you a blank stare. Some people benefit from constantly, constantly revising and expanding what they were already working on. In that sense, I'd argue a detailed outline is vital to help them imagine at least one way that the story could go.

>>17803146
Mileu is a genre that focuses ON the setting, ON the worldbuilding, LOTR is mileu ffs. Harry Potter, until the 5th book WAS mileu, as the characters and narrative was merely a tool to peek into their world. The importance of wroldbuilding varies with the setting, but you definitely don't want your shit to end up like hunger games with it's plot holes due to how badly thought the world was.

I'm writing, well trying to, and I'm wondering - does anyone know any resources for how warfare works? Not books about war, but books about tactics and operations of things like cannons and military formations. It's not something that I think will be helpful to dwell on, but it might help flush out the world a bit and add a bit of realism to any scene that involves a battle, or where there's a discussion of a battle or the aftermath of a battle.

>>17805951
Disclaimer: I'm a retard and slightly drunk so don't take my opinions too seriously.

First of all I notice there's little concern for metre. I'm of the admittedly old-fashioned opinion that you should initially conform to the strict classical forms of poetry, then as you grow in skill, you can break the rules in novel and interesting ways. Write a short poem in iambic tetrameter or something and get a feel for the form. If you have no sense of prosody there's tools you can use, e.g. check out "prosodic" on Github for an python utility that'll do a decent job in analysing the rhythm of your text for you.

Okay, on to the poem itself:
> Elixir of creativity
As an unproven poet you should not begin a text with something stilted as "Elixir of creativity". To write poetry you don't need to stuff it full of pretentious jargon; write what's close to your own heart.
> From the men of old
"Men of old" is too clean and unambiguous. I'd ground it in an actual event where there's two levels of interpretation - e.g. an event literally introducing the narrator to the subject, but is also a metaphorical representative of an ancient tradition. Make him steal from his fathers liquor cabinet or something.

> curse me with divinity
> and make me feel so bold
There's a sense of bathos here that I like, but I'm not sure is intentional. "cursed with divinity" I take as a feeling of power gained from too much drink but not backed by any actual ability, and "feel so bold" means pretty much the same thing but in a much less flowery way.

> give me your spark of life
> or tell me never to return
Here you deviate a little too strongly from alcohol to the implied topic of women. If you're writing a text that ostensibly about subject A but really about B, you should make sure every sentence at least superficially supports A. Does alcohol itself tell you to "never return"? No. You should make explicit that it's the narrator *himself* that rejects it, perhaps correlating it with a hangover.

> your gaze cuts me like a knife
> and makes my soul eternal yearn
The first line is quite good, both applying well to addiction to alcohol generally and a specific woman.
The second line is somewhat ungrammatical. Is it the "soul eternal" that yearns, or is the soul eternally yearning? Both of these interpretations feels cliché and aren't participially fitting.

> on the brightest of my days
> you are the cloud above
Okay I don't know how intentional this is, but it has potential to be good. Are you implying that "the cloud above" is the slight defect in a clear sky, the thing that could grow to a great thunderstorm if left unchecked?

> you clear the self caused haze
> and inspire such a love
Too much indirection. Tell the reader that the subject of the poem literally clears the haze and is directly loveable, don't add reservations like "self-caused" or "inspire" to it. The narrator is already very unreliable at this point, adding more serves no purpose.

>country of 7 million people
>bestseller are 10k copies sold

>>17806701
The Osprey books

>>17806768
Nice, they have some period books as well. Cheers.

>>17806754
hey anon, cheers on the feedback, i'm checking out lambic tetrameters right now and i will definitely try to write some poems in it, didn't really know where to start with form. I was thinking about a certain lass while writing so i was a bit to direct at times, i've tried to rework it a bit based on your notes and get rid of the admitedly cliche sutff, i'd really like to know if you think it's an improvement. You seem to know your stuff.

Barrel of longevity
From the days of gold
curse me with divinity
make me feel so bold

give me your spark of life
but tommorrow make me churn
upon my mind you lay such strife
and make the hole within me yearn

on the brightest of my days
you are the cloud above
you clear this wretched haze
and grant me such a love

torment without reckoning
trully i can't hear your call
then why do i feel you beckoning
for you i might just crawl

>>17802991
>I wouldn't say entirely
Dude it's an instinct, instincts are purely genetic based. if you remove the evolutionary pressure for an instinct to exist, it never develops or disappears over time.

Opener anon from a thread back, revised an excerpt taking anon's advice into account
https://pastebin.com/DU29Z2cv
Short story I'm scribbling out while outlining a bigger project

>>17806701
What era and what type of doctrine? Tactics common during the american civil war are quite far removed from e.g. modern guerrilla warfare.
You mentioned cannons, so I'm assuming 19th century. George Nafziger has several books on the Napoleonic wars, which I haven't read. However, his books on the second world war are excellent. I would imagine these are just as good, since it's some of his most famous work.
Once you are more familiar with the nomenclature you might find some of these documents useful as inspiration.
napoleon-seriesdotorg/resources/the-nafziger-collection-of-napoleonic-orders-of-battle

>>17807049
I largely favour your view as well, but I'm not a pshrink, and all due respect to them, I daresay they can give a few other reasons why our brains are wired the way they are

>>17806701
Read about infantry tactics, extrapolate. At the end of the day they are all the same. Look at all the common pieces of equipment, read about how they are used, look at their pros and cons, and if you're a smart cookie you can derive certain general tactics from base principles

Osprey books are good for further reading, but a Wiki trawl could net you enough for your writing as well

>add a bit of realism to any scene that involves a battle, or where there's a discussion of a battle or the aftermath of a battle
For this I suggest looking for war autobiographies written by officers and, surprisingly, reputable embedded war journalists. They offer a more balanced view than grunt writing.

For example, crack open a (ghost-written more often than not) book about a salty Marine sergeant in Nam, and you will usually find it chock-full of FUCKIN BRASS DON'T KNOW JACK YEEHAW COME GET SOME MUHFUCKER AW FUCK AHM HIT MEDIC FUCKIN PENTAGON NUMNUTS whereas commissioned officers, and good journalists who interviewed officers, understand that one makes certain plans, the enemy makes plans, both plans collide, and that is battle.

This is it. If I write one more word, it’ll be the furthest in this story I’ve ever been.

>>17807305
>pshrink
No clue what that means, but consider this, the reason why we instinctively have aversion towards maggots is because there is an evolutionary advantage to staying the hell away from them. Basically visual stimuli causes neurons to fire and that is completely unconscious and hardwired, when you think about food for example, your mouth produces more saliva. There is a lot of our behavior which is caused by these hardwired instincts.

>>17808648
I understand the concept, I'm just saying that I believe psychologists can come up with more reasons than just natural selection. I don't know much about the field but I do know that I know very little, so... I strongly suspect there is more.

>>17808768
Psychology ain't a real science though it's a philosophy with scientific concepts applied to them, there is a reason why there's a crisis on reproducibility which happens mostly on humanities.

>>17808928
>there is a reason why there's a crisis on reproducibility
too many junk journals IMHO

but I would not go so far as to say
>Psychology ain't a real science

>>17809059
A real science is something you can properly apply the scientific method to, you can't do that with psychology, a good bunch of it's studies even come from self reports, which are absurdly subjective. You can't even create a stable environment to test theories. That's not to say they don't arrive at correct conclusions, but that's the exception.

How does Tolkien pull off bed time story witty grandpa so well? Like, I could never write like this without it being unadulterated cringe. But it’s such a cute use of prose.

>>17806568
unsubscribe from cat facts

>wanna finish my story
>remember that no one will ever read it, not even my family who outright refuse to read anything I write
>lose all enthusiasm

>>17809259
>want to finish my story
>constantly be too tired to write
>find excuses for every reason not to write
>never actually write anything
>tell all my friends I’m a writer
>none of them care enough to read anything I write
>they all think I’m a literary god because I bought a bunch of /lit/ meme books I’ve never read
>refresh /lit/ threads all day and effort post with no (you)s
>get tired but can’t sleep
>pass out to YouTube videos
>do it all over again for the rest of my life

>>17809165
Well, that is what the hard sciences say about social sciences; having a toe in both fields, I would say that both sides have a point.

For example, writing is a kind of social science. Yes, it is a totally ambiguous field and not ruled by hard sciences as they know it. But you and I both know there are underlying fundamental principles - write like THIS, and you will get THIS.

>>17809216
examples?

>>17809319
>But you and I both know there are underlying fundamental principles - write like THIS, and you will get THIS.
But that's not what science is, those are just rules and guidelines, and everything in this universe is ruled by those, science means the complete application of the scientific method, writing is art, and psychology is philosophy. There is nothing wrong with either of those categories, but things have already been muddied enough in these last decades.

>>17809165
>>17809319
This is misleading. What parts of the scientific method can you not apply? Reproducibility is possible if that's what you mean. Issues with soft sciences are there, but it's not as though the entire field is invalid.

>>17809319
All of the hobbit

I've been reading/reciting Finnegans Wake and now I'm trying to write regular things and situations in semi-English

marryment redorviculous

entreatea toulet wominto yawlife

rinrinspringinintoth'leek hopsplashering uprysetredwattering see'bovebluskie

fltfltfltdown th' 'cretestraetxin n' reddyman-t'lyetewait'pn't'grynman-tktkboooobpbpbpbpbpbpfltfltflt asslaught't'asfaultxint'streatched

>>17809377
Controlled environment, test groups, objective results, all extremely necessary for applying the scientific method properly.

>>17809403
You can't always control environments with "hard" sciences either (can't put a galaxy in a lab with Astrophysics, for instance).
Not sure what you mean by test groups or objective results.
Sorry if that seems snippy, but I'm genuinely confused by what you mean here.

>>17809381
Oh. Yeah it's damn comfy isn't it? I also recommend Stardust by Neil Gaiman.

No idea how to pull it off. I write like a young man and it shows. I think it's something you gain with age - when I was 10 I wrote like I was 10, now I'm 30 I write like I'm 30.

>>17809353
>science means the complete application of the scientific method
And social sciences do apply it. Yes, the accuracy rate is not like hard sciences whereby 1 + 1 must always = 2, there is comparatively massive allowance for error, but that doesn't mean it's not science. If it were, then a lot of hard science theory including most of higher math and ALL of quantum math can be thrown out of the "sciences".

>>17809445
Yeah and that's a big problem with physics, astronomy and others. Time and again you learn that some discovery was way off the mark because the environment influenced the results. In this regard I'd actually put things like quantum physics and astronomy on the "soft sciences" category.
>Not sure what you mean by test groups or objective results
If you test a new type of grain to see how good it is at fattening pigs you can control for their genetic type, diseases, and other influencing factors that pertain the individual, you can't really do that with humanities. When it comes to results, like I said before, many of the reports from psychology come from the individuals being studied, that is a massive gaping hole on the whole concept of applying the scientific methodology. On actual science you'd have objective reports like a hard % increase on a numeric factor for example such as an increase in dopamine concentration on the brain. On psychology because you can't really translate "emotions" into "numbers", you can't have an objective measurement of the results.

>>17809452
>If it were, then a lot of hard science theory including most of higher math and ALL of quantum math can be thrown out of the "sciences".
I don't see a problem with that. Also science isn't math, there's a reason why STEM has both S and M separated.

>>17809521
>science isn't math
lemao

>there's a reason why STEM has both S and M separated
yes, marketing

>>17809602
No it's because math is a tool, much like language is a tool, science on the other hand is a process. Honestly, what have they been teaching in school nowadays? This should be common knowledge.

Let's say I'm more concerned with gaining an audience than with making money and am perfectly willing to spend money to gain views. Should I self-publish to Amazon and spend my whole budget on advertising? Or would it be better to create my own website and host the book there (free for everyone) on my own expense? My actual plan is to hire an artist to create something more akin to an immersive multimedia experience, since my word count is way too low (20,000) for it to really even qualify as a novella, but obviously something of that size isn't going to sell to a magazine.

I interned with a literary agent for a while in college and spent a lot of time wading in the slush pile. I am 90% certain that my book won't get picked up. In return for your advice I can give you knowledge about standing out in the slush pile circa 2008.

>>17809657
20k words isn't going to get any kind of a following really anywhere. Tumblr is probably your best bet, but what the online free-book reading market is looking for is very long-form stuff with word counts approaching seven figures. You'll do a little better publishing on your own site than you will on Amazon but you shouldn't expect much.

>>17809605
You're a tool lmao

This is it. If I write one more word, it’ll be the furthest in this story I’ve ever been.

>>17809991
no u

>>17810008
it wouldn't happen to be "nigger" by any chance, would it? i'm still waiting on that tumult of the niggers novella

>>17810008
>>17810058
Jesus fucking christ, I fucking hate you faggots for doing this shit on this thread. Go shitpost in another thread you little shits.

>>17810062
you sound kind of upset anon, here's a picture of a dog eating a waffle, it always cheers me up

>>17810063
And there you go again, wasting everyone's time.

>>17810062
Kinda disheartening to see considering this thread has been extremely productive unlike all the others.

>>17800363
I have a distaste for fantasy writing, which would make me an unideal critic of the content. But your command of written English certainly passes for native. In fact, probably better than most natives.

Any calls for submissions ya'll know about? need to write a short stroy real quick so I can have a break from my novel

Gist idea for a short story, pls rate.

>Executive function

Every forty seconds another person has decided suicide is the right decision. Every forty seconds another person has weighed his understanding of the world up against the lever that removes him from it. That adds up to approximately 800 000 people who leave the rat race permanently every year. While simultaneously we add 1 200 000 people to the millionaire list per year.

That means for every person that anheros one fat motherfucker made it. What separates the millionaire from the deceased can be argued with outliers alone, to be due to the persons perspective. It might seem trivial to state something too obvious, but perspective is defining who you are every single day. People who realize the value of their perspectives can go a long way in achieving their goals, be that suicide or not. Today, any person with an internet connection and an inquisitive mind can find the path to wealth, anyone, those barriers previously made up of institutions have been replaced by obtuse narratives and purposely weakened perspectives. People do not build on their understanding anymore, the markets work against people gaining larger and more relevant perspectives. For obvious reasons this won't change, it will only get worse. The more disruptive technology that is shared freely, the more competition the market experiences. Now take what we have into perspective, we have a civilisation that is in its communication infancy, from where I am, Norway, I can send a message across the Atlantic ocean to new york in milliseconds. This has been disruptive. It will continue to be disruptive. What I want you to do is become that disruption. We have the technology and tools available to us to automate, we have created enough abstractions on technologies like machine learning that it is trivial to automate what only a decade ago required hundreds of people to sort through data. You can get whatever language you want to translate in seconds, whatever field of research you want to learn about you can find out about online, you can map out relationships and research events. There really should be no limit on what a person with a healthy mind can achieve with an internet connection. Nobody has ever had an abundance of information on the scale that we do. What matters in today's world is executive function, learn about it, improve upon it.

>---

I can't write for shit but I want it to go into the Patrick Bateman vibe and obsessively use machine learning examples as the proverbial limitless pill

>>17810249
People inherit wealth

>>17810295
Not trying argue anything pikkety.

Want to delve into the psychopathic vision and create a more up to date synthesis of it compared to American psycho. Something about this vibe always makes people obsessively interested.

But I'm just experimenting with shitposts so far, this prompt was poorly executed.

>>17810072
>this thread has been extremely productive unlike all the others
lmao

>>17810401
That anon is trying to encourage them.

The two outlaws stood eyeing each other. In this dusty little backwater their rivalry ended today.

The whole town had turned out. Braving the scorching heat to witness this once in a lifetime spectacle. Crowds of men, women and children lined the sidewalks, rooftops and watched from every window and doorway.

The clock struck noon. The Man In Black hovered a hand above his gun. “Your move, varmint,” he said in a gravelly voice.

As if on command the Man In White’s pristine eggshell trousers fell around his ankles. His underwear followed suit. Quicker than a rattlesnake he bent forward at an impossible angle and began blowing himself. Relentlessly he worked his own shaft, creating a sound like that of a blocked drain pipe. The crowd stared on silently.

After several minutes the man in black went down on one knee. He offered his gun in outstretched hands. “I know when I’m beat, partner.”

The crowd erupted in cheers. Dogs howled, horses neighed excitedly. A chorus of crows squawked in unison. This would be one for the history books.

>second ever short story accepted
nothing prestigious, but i'm happy. keep on writing, bros. we can do it.

Trying to find the book that sounds most similarly to how I write. It helps me write when I can get a hold of something I love a lot to read during breaks.
That being said, post books that are similar to your writing. I'm curious what everyone thinks of themselves.

>>17811306
I’m proud of you

>>17811617
Chuck Palahnuik:
>diary
>rant
>invisible monsters

Kurt Vonnegut:
>breakfast of champions

A friend published his short story anthology on Amazon and I'm inspired to pick things up again. Thank you for the books in the OP, they are helpful for dumbfuck ESL's like me who skipped class to go to McDonalds.

>>17811306
Where if you don't mind?
I keep writing short stories and I have no idea what I'm supposed to do with them now

>>17811812
literary journals via submittable or submissiongrinder

>>17811617
I'm not trying to copy other writers, so I don't know.

>>17811617
According to that one website. I've never read any of his books so I don't know if it's accurate.

>>17811847
>Post prose
>DFW
>Post dialogue
>DFW
>Post both
>Agatha Christie

>>17811847
This shit keeps telling me I write like stephen king. I'm mad jealous, anon.

>>17811894
>>17811847
DFW was my prose, and apparently my dialogue is Ray Bradbury.

>>17811913
embrace it, develop a severe cocaine addiction

>>17811962
>embrace it, develop a severe cocaine addiction
I've only done coke twice but I know I should never do it again. Also ran out of the addy a friend gave me. That stuff is just too damn fun.

>>17811847
it says i write like agatha christie
i've never read agatha christie, what is her writing like?

>>17811894
>>17811980
I got Christie too, for two different texts and have only ever read Ten Little Niggers at school.

Does anyone here have any experience with substack?
If so, do you have any advice for someone starting out there?

>>17811847
>>17811732
Nice but also...

>>17811847
it says I write like Corey Doctorow. Which is odd. I have read one of his works but that was way more recent than the old work I submitted to be analysed

>>17811847
I pasted some porn I wrote in.

Do any of you belong to a writing group? How did you find one? Has it been helpful at all? What’s the structure like? Any additional comments would be appreciated.

>>17795675
From that description it doesn’t sound like a story that needs a big ending. Why not just stop after the lesbian experience?

>>17812693

I belong to /wg/ on /lit/. It's garbage and a waste of time.

>>17813368
This is it.

>characters finish a task
>stuck for a week trying to figure out how to connect them to the next plot point
>take an hour long, extremely hot shower
>the correct scene appears in my head fully formed and ready to be written to the page
This is the second time this has happened
If I could write in the shower I swear I'd finish a bestseller every month

>>17813637
get waterproof pen and paper

>>17813637
>always get my best ideas while running
>can't write any of them down out there
I trust in my memory, but...

>>17813695
>slow down
>take out phone
>write quick note
>continue

>Have a tonne of scenes and scenarios
>Have no idea how to connect them into a story

ngmi

>>17814512
I had the same problem so I wrote the scenes I really liked and then built a story around them

I call it the Brandon Sanderson method

Another evening in which I laze around and write nothing.

>Another afternoon in which I hunker down and reach my wordcount
Yes!

>>17814727
I’m really proud of you

I just recently completed the 3rd installment of my space sci-fi series. Take a look at them if you want, and any feedback at all would be greatly appreciated.

Chapter 1: https://pastebin.com/2jFh8Pm3
Chapter 2: https://pastebin.com/cYXrZwqx
Chapter 3: https://pastebin.com/bLJgcgzJ

>>17800363
boring. why am I supposed to care about the spirit? Why am I supposed to care about that world you built?
>>17802535
ngmi
>>17809657
is it good/interesting?
>>17810249
marxism is a failed ideology and rich people aren't 90s cartoon villains.
>>17814989
great introduction! however, the general idea doesn't feel very fresh. It feels like it's been done already.

>>17813637
>>17813695
Get a voice recorder?

>>17814512
just write short stories, it's harder than writing a novel

>>17815408
Good writing, but I want to read more before I commit

>>17815156
>great introduction

are you referring to something specific, or whats been written as a whole?

>>17811847
This is like the 4th or so time I got this chick.

Writing Exercise my teacher gave me:
>A good way to jump-start your writing process and inspire new writing ideas is to complete a writing exercise such as this one. Write a paragraph that uses all three of the following words: summer, trees, and ocean. By using certain words, you are forcing your brain to think of writing ideas. This type of exercise can help you get ideas in directions you may not have thought of before.
I wrote:
>I thought about the summer as blades were dug into my flesh, peeling away layers of my epidermis and revealing the muscular intricacies of my body. I remember how hot the sun would feel on my skin as I rested by the ocean, the tool which facilitated that sensation now falling to the floor with a loud "splat" from its crimson soaking. A cozy getaway would have been in the shade under the tall eucalyptus trees, my bones make the sound of cracking branches as my torture continued. I was anywhere but on the operating table.
What would you write, anons?

>>17816203
It’s been a while since he’d had a vacation. A true time to relax. The freedom he used to feel during the summer time, spent climbing trees and going to the ocean were a long time ago. He felt so tired. A tired that couldn’t be cured by sleep. A restlessness buried deep within who he had become as a person. What he spent his life doing instead of what he thought he wanted to do, or at least, what he thought he wanted to do.

>>17816203
Nice one anon, I like the setting of an operating table
>My eyes burned. I tried to lift myself up and my fingers dug through the sand. Salt on my tongue. Salt in the air. My clothes clung to me like slick iron and I stared out and all I could see was sea. Black and swirling in the gray smog, a bitter picture. All these clouds. What a day to have in summer. They really just left me here. They must've thought I was dead, stripped me of my valuables and dumped me out on the beach. My watch, no show. My wallet, gone. Nothing but me and the ocean. A single bolt of lightning snapped through the murk, off in the distance. For a second it was a burning tree against the smog, withered vines and all. Then there was nothing.

>>17811847
I got a lot of results from pasting in varying chunks of paragraphs. It started with Ursula K. Le Guin. Then the ones that appeared frequently are Margaret Atwood, Stephen King, Agatha Christie, and James Joyce came up twice.

>>17816311
Vivid sensations painting a miserable picture, good read!

When fire burns so bright I shut my eyes
Then turn and feel its heat upon my back
The shadows dance before and I surmise
I can make their forms out in the black.
The story of a life lived good and well
Was inked upon the ground in lieu of light.
Though where you stood beside I couldn't tell,
I knew that to be happy it was right.
A second spectre slinks the same-sort path
You whisper in my ear "It's your eclipse."
It darkens all I see to night and ash,
And grows with ev'ry word that leaves your lips.
When all I see is darkness and I'm suddenly alone.
I turn to face the fire, and both shadows were my own.

>>17816203
Mines mostly dialogue, so I kept it to under 250 words.

>>17795153
hi guys, i have a question.

i'm a professional artist learning how to write a story for a webcomic/manga as a personal project; NOT necessarily for money, but more as a way to market myself as an artist and keep myself motivated to update work more consistently while giving my designs and illustrations some meaning and direction. it's also just been a childhood dream of mine.

i'm basically brand new to writing and been writing consistently for about 6 months and used brandon sanderson's lectures, pixar story telling tips, among some online resources to help me craft better stories, but i keep changing my mind about plots and all sorts of things i could barely commit to for various reasons.

this is important to me because i predict if i get this project started, i will need to commit at least a year or two to completing it; drawing the pages, concept art, making illustrations and making an art book, animating it, etc. basically i don't want to regret putting my top effort into something i will feel like is embarrassing/boring trash half way through.

so i started writing really short stories (2 pages, roughly 1000 words) that's basically a more fleshed out outline/personal notes mostly to see where this plot and characters and its themes will go, along with its ending.

the idea was that if i liked what i wrote in 2~3 pages, then i can elaborate on it and expand on this a bit more. it seemed according to brandon, it was more important to finish a story. but i'm not sure if i am writing enough to constitute any progression towards my goal.

my question is, am i wasting my time? should i be deep diving and exploring into every plot point that could potentially happen? pls no bully. i am genuinely trying to learn and understand. appreciate if you read this all.

>>17815156
>is it good/interesting?
My novel or interning for a literary agent circa 2008? If it's the latter, I highly recommend it. There was always free high-grade coffee, although you can imagine I was somewhat reluctant to drink too much, which in retrospect seems kind of odd on my behalf because I wasn't getting paid.

My novelette is (I saw this word earlier in the thread, but I won't look back to check spelling) a milleu. Basically there was a thread on /x/ asking about paranormal shit in Florida and I answered with a bunch of ridiculous nonsense that me and my friends used to imagine when we would to go out in the woods and get stoned. Prehistoric aqueducts, land gators, vietcong sleeper cells, etc. etc. Basically the concept is that the foliage in Florida is impenetrable and combined with the insane amounts of ultraviolet radiation you get that far South, there could in theory be uncontacted native tribes hiding just a stone's throw away from any given highway. I did some rudimentary research on that last one and it is, in fact, in the absolute barest sense of the word, possible. I tied it all together into a concept known as "The Savage Green". People enjoyed the stories I posted, and they were really fun to write, so I decided to expand the concept. I couldn't be bothered to come up with a plot, so it's a retelling of Dante's Inferno.

>>17816536
This sounds really fuckin rad.

Would appreciate any feedback on this passage

>>17816607
How can a heavy covered dish be observably pearled with meat juices? What meat is that?

The rest is forgettable. I don't know what they're talking about and I don't know why I should care. That's the trouble with reviewing tiny snippets like these.

>>17816628
When roast beef is served in traditional lidded dishes the juices tend to condensate outside. A detail I remember from boarding school. To be fair, you're right - the snippet is well into the second chapter when conflicts and motivations have already begun to be established. Don't know why I thought to post it. Beta reads are best done on the first few chapters really, anyone can craft a pretty standalone excerpt. Cheers anyhow.

>>17816607
I had no idea what was going on, probably because it's an excerpt, but it was written well enough where it wasn't a too much of chore to reread it even though it was a mostly fruitless effort.

>>17811847
>3 short stories give James Joyce
>1 gives some fat leaf I've never heard of
Not bad I guess

>>17816548
Here's a sample. Bit of a rough draft, there's obviously some things that need to be tightened up, but I think it gets my point across nicely.

https://pastebin.com/K6dbkCmn

>>17816704
Good imagery, and I really like the pacing in certain parts like:
>My eyes were heavy with sleep, but I refused to rest.
>My stomach growled, but I did not think of eating.
>My skin was puckered and chafed beneath my soaked clothes, but I made no effort to peel them away.

I'm gunna be critical because I like what you have, so I'll say that for the most part your pacing is a bit choppy, almost like your sentences are structured all the same if that makes sense. Like when I read it, I feel like I'm running over just an endless stream of hurdles.

Otherwise, I really dug the phrase "footprints squishing." Things like that really set the swampy scene.

>>17816836
Thanks for reading. Like I said, it needs to be improved. Like the rhyme "push through the bush" is kind of jarring. The entire scene with the sentry and the bugles makes no sense at all compared to later developments in the story. And I'll probably re-work the initial description of the green to make the "bush=ocean" thing a bit more subtle.

I'm glad you enjoyed it and thanks for taking the time. One last quick question: do you think the description of the patch was obvious enough, or should I just flat out say it's the flag of the Confederate State of Florida?

>>17816452
I'm jealous, wish I could write scenes like Tarantino

>>17816648
>the juices tend to condensate outside
their molecules pass through the dish cover? condensation is vapour from the air. and it was surprising to me to read a description of all the trimmings but not the mains; it would complete the picture to add a description of the roast (beef? chicken? lamb?) as well. for reader immersion, yeah?

>A detail I remember from boarding school
jeez what are you, some kinda old Etonian or something?

Post complete chapters or short stories. Anyone can write grammatical nonsense, but how one delivers plot is the core of what we do here.

>>17816385
not the place for cringe poetry ig?

>>17816916
I didn't catch that it was an old Florida flag, but I could tell it was some sort of historical American design by the motto. Maybe don't specify exactly what it is, but allude that it's real by a throwaway line like "I recognized the old flag, etc," so the reader can at least get an idea.

>>17796381
>>17801622
>>17801835
I think you can think in terms of simple statistics as well... Not many great writers were paupers bumming around the country. Vast majority spent most of their time READING.

Ever see what it looks like when someone fires a hollow point at a pumpkin? Well a human head does exactly the same thing. “Human” in this case being debatable obviously but the effect was the same. The first shot went a bit high and knocked his fedora off. The second was dead on. One moment his head was there and the next it simply wasn’t. A mess of balding scalp, misshapen skull and autism riddled brain splattered across the sidewalk and on the glass storefront window.

He flicked the safety on his weapon, holstered it was quickly on his way. That was his third in as many weeks. At this rate they’d have to re-open applications. Maybe the next crop would learn a lesson. If not he wasn’t running out of ammo anytime soon. And he enjoyed the exercise. Unlike the monstrosities he was wasting. Thank you to everyone who applied, he though to himself and chuckled.

>>17816452
this is good anon, lots of viv

>>17817418
Alright, I sniggered

So I recently started writing. After I finish a section, I run it through an editing program and they always say not to use any adverbs. They say to stop using the word 'just', but I have an argument for using the word occasionally.
My protagonists are teenagers and it's being told in first person. They're hormonal, untested, and have low self-confidence. Using the word 'just' to weaken their internal voices sounds right, but I also don't have the writing experience to know whether that actually works.
Basically, I'm asking whether I need to get my head out of my ass, or do I have a point?

>>17817572
No idea unless you post a decent excerpt

>>17817418
>Thank you to everyone who applied
asesino de janny basado

I ate too much spaghetti. I’m soon to burst, but before I do, I need to tell you where I hid the treasure. My family fortune. It’s buried in the northern pl-

>>17817830
oh my god is everyone okay oh god oh jesus christ there's blood everywhere oh god i'm gonna hrrghjfggajwuahfdfjkgdfgdf

>>17817843
>there's blood everywhere
It's okay Andy, it's just bolognese!

>>17817830
>>17817843
>>17817850
Go to fucking reddit to do this shit.

This is it. If I take one more bite of spaghetti, it’ll be the fullest I’ve ever been.

>>17817857
we have a need to express ourselves - from all the spaghetti we've eaten!

>>17817907
Yeah, I've been "expressing" the spaghetti I've eaten, too. In the toilet. Come get it before it sinks!

How does this make you feel?

>>17816203
>bro did you hear about those trees in the fuckin ocean last summer?

2ez

>>17817572
>they always say not to use any adverbs.
The main argument against adverbs is that they cheapen whatever you're trying to say. Essentially, using an adverb is telling as opposed to showing. Example:
>He stroked her face softly.
versus
>He traced a single finger down the curve of her cheek.
The second argument against adverbs is that they rarely add anything to what is already being said. Going back to my last example: stroking is a soft act, and it is redundant to say that it was done softly.

So if you're wondering if you need to remove an adverb, just ask if the sentence it contains is something important which deserves a more thorough treatment, and then ask if the adverb is redundant to the verb it modifies.

>>17817940
Oh shit, this anon writes

>>17817922
Spaget about it.

>>17817930
It seems very matter-of-fact and documentaryish. I don't really get a feeling of anything because it's almost like I'm reading an essay about these people. (That doesn't mean it's bad, I do like it) but if you're trying to elicit some sort of feeling of spookiness or whatever, it doesn't really come across. If you're actually just trying to make it like a documentary then you've succeeded.

>>17817930
If Kalė is "God" shouldn't it be capitalized in their tongue?

>>17817930
>How does this make you feel?
Not awe-inspiring enough for the kind of effect I think you were hoping for

>>17818130
I don't know how I overlooked that one

>>17818147
Many such cases in /wg/.

>>17795675
ASS TA ASS

>>17806069
might want to replace "eternal" with "forever." an adverb works better than an adjective right before a verb and it keeps your meter.

>>17810066
idk bro that dog eating a waffle is mad fuckin funny

>Idea for a short story
>almost 30,000 words in only to find out its only half-way done
>Scrap it and start over
>Story expands into something else entirely from its original idea
>Find myself liking it
>Story further expands but at a crossroad on how to write it.
>no idea how to begin, let alone on how to write it.
I need to take a small break, this shit ain't good for my health. I'm nauseous as just thinking about it. And this started out as an Epistolary novel.

>>17818220
not a bad suggestion. sounds so much better.

I hate doctors and "avant-garde" crap.

>marxists

God danmit i wanted to relay that feeling of inferiority, not the cringe marxist vibe. Was a shit txt though so fair

>>17818293
How do you lose tract on what you write? That’s a novella right there.

>>17818429
I just wrote and wrote. I was really in that state of mind in just writing.

>>17809259
Just post it in Royal Road. You’ll be bound to find a few who will.

>>17802535
ngmi

>>17796273
Jesus, this smells like delusions of Grandeur.

>>17818481
Another common problem with these threads. People think they're going to write the next Great American Novel

>>17818408
Why use Marxist? What compelled you to think that’s a good idea.

>>17816704
Nice, anon, you have a real good chance in making it in self-publishing.

>>17796135
Easier to shit out a ten thousand story with little to know planning whereas a story with more length and depth might be more difficult?

>>17818504
>self-publishing.
Soon. i will be making a living on it.

>>17818488
And I'm not even American!

>>17818513
Stop being in denial.

>>17818513
What are you? If not American?

>>17818488
aim high, score high

New thread

>>17818519

>>17818521
People here are lucky to be the next John green or Stephenie Meyer.

>>17818517
I hail from the north

>>17818526
im going to be the next agatha christie, that one website told me so

>>17818530
Canadian? How's the publishing industry doing there? Ours is dying.

>>17818534
I wouldn't know.

>>17804366
Actually pretty good. Good on you, Anon.

>>17797772
The subtext will always be there somewhat, but one can easily take steps to reduce it. Maybe focus less on both the stickiness and the act of shooting the web out.
>It arched back to reveal its hairy underbelly, but before she could take in any more details, her eyes were suddenly blocked by a boiling hot, sticky substance that covered her in her entirety, threatening to sear her skin off and melt her internal organs as it seeped through the orifices on her face.
Something like that? I assumed the spider was also a magical being like the fairy in question. The problem is replaced by it being too graphic in my opinion (not too mention it having more commas than necessary), but I suppose it could be a passable sentence in a more grim story.