/lit/ - Literature

>>17730044

Prompts:
>A singer discovers they can hypnotise people with their voice
>A shark discovers shark fin soup
>A Venetian art collector considers his or her paintings as the villa is flooding
>Memoir from an FBI agent assigned to monitor CWC
>A metaphysically lost dog
>A city infested with rats decides to teach them about Ratatouille
>Hunter S Thompson reports from COVID quarantine
>A citizen in a utopian society is having a really, really bad day
>someone plants a bomb at a racetrack on an alien planet
>a prodigy magician has to help his grandpa clean the pool
>insects mutate in strange ways during a long space voyage
>a gym bro is accosted by a miscreant right after a workout when his muscles are tired
>A man uses his superpowers for the most mundane tasks
>A former viral star struggles to extend their 15 minutes of fame
>Alien spiders be telepathic
>A town plagued by blizzards discovers they're in a snowglobe owned by a child
>A witch enters a cooking contest against a famous chef and wins with one of her brews as a soup.
> An outlaw is laughed out of town
> A girl finds a skirt that allows her to travel back in time
> A boy wakes up in the body of Marilyn Monroe
> Two thieves have to carry out a robbery in a Buddhist temple
> A strange pandemic turns people into cheerleaders
>A politician fantasizes about world domination
>A group holds a discussion without addressing the literal elephant in the room
>A US president delivers a state of the union message on the eve of an apocalypse
>A gang stalking group made up of orangutans
>A gastronomic event causes a mishap of biblical proportions
>Two time criminals are banished to the Israel of the New Testament
>A boy is forced to dress as a maid to save the world from an alien invasion.
>A Mexican, a Jew and a black man walk into an Irish pub
>A talking pink animal goes into a brief adventure that he enjoys very very much
>An ice cream man sets up shop outside a union job site in a rough part of town

Hey I am the anon who called dibs on "two lesbians eating pizza from earlier, I finished and would love some feedback.

>>17730330
Here it is: "Two lesbian's eating Pizza" by anon.


My girlfriend G had been called in by the school because of the bruises on her face. I am holding her and touching her cheek. She assures me she assured the school, and we fall to the floor. I tell her how much I love her and give her extra chances to practice her foundation. We don’t use protection because I can never achieve an orgasm without my hand. G is slender, soft, and weak, and I am leaving her behind for University when summer ends. I have promised to call.
When I met her father he tried to crush my hand. I am smiling at her house for dinner, glum and care-free. Her father asks all about my family and school and how the football season is, and never looks at G’s face. When it is over I thank them and I leave with G so I can touch her cheek.
She is working over the summer now, at some position given not earned. She tells me she will start after school, take a few years and work before going to college. She will start as a secretary. I will start as an afterthought. Then I am extra gentle, to show her how much she means to me.
The final stretch is now here: I leave in just a few days for University. We are sitting on my roof, and it is the last hour of sunlight. August in Virginia is grey grass and green crickets and water air. She is holding her legs close, arms wrapped around knees, light mud hair, eyes puffed and leaning. I am stretched, flashed up over and around her.
She starts talking about the future again and then she is gone, replaced by a monstrous little spider curled up against my chest. Whispering - shy and low metallic clicks, like minimum wage summons at department stores, only child names and living arrangements. I try and look past her hair covered exoskeleton, but I still only see the spider: all angles and hooks. She whispers, prophesying our future, shivering.
She has become so excellent at applying makeup, and I tell her so. I smile and charm and love, but it doesn’t work. She still wants my answer.
I go inside and she follows, pestering for one, crawling through the window sill, eight legs and eight eyes, feet sticking to the wall, never touching the carpet - the carpet! - Which now twists beneath me, rolling like the sea in sound, my thoughts sliding into heaps after a quake. A great seven headed beast rising out of the sea and a LIFETIME of holding bras in department stores and having my hand crushed and being forced to mind myself.
The cold fronts are crossing the continent, closing in, and I have no answer.

But I call her from college, and she sounds happy. I make it clear I would kill her if she saw any boys. “Oh love,” she laughs, “I only had pizza with Julia, you’re going to love her when you visit.” I cut the call short, payphone costs a dollar a minute.

>>17730370
I’m calling the cops.

>>17730566
you don't like it 0.o?

bump

>>17730370
>I am stretched, flashed up over and around her
good story but i'm not sure what this line means. explain?

>>17730370
Hey anon, this story is very disorienting...idk how much is by design or not, but I have a very hard time following what’s going on.

The tenses in the first few paragraphs seem all over. She had been called in, but then I they were together in the present, the recollection of her father was in the past, but now you’re at dinner. It’s dream-like in that the setting keeps shifting without ever a mention of movement or time elapsing.

There’s also a lot of ambiguity in the phrasing.
>I tell her how much I love her and give her extra chances to practice her foundation
The meaning of ‘Practice her foundation’ confused me until the makeup reference later, but still...in the above idk if I should interpret as “...I love her and how I give her...” or “...I love her, and then I proceeded to give her”
I thought calling figure of someone thing hugging their knees a ‘spider’ was good...but when she started walking along the ceiling I gave up on actually understanding what was going on.

The pay phone call at the end, the only part that ties to the prompt, seemed like a throw-away.

I won’t flat-out say I didn’t like it, but reading it made me uncomfortable. I think if you tried to write a more grounded story, with straight-forward prose, a few of the visual twists would have shone well...but the whole thing is drowning in so much metaphor and strange word usage idk what you’re actually trying to say. Normally would not have provided all this criticism, but you asked so I answered.

>>17730044
Checked.

Also, I'll be finishing this tonight.

>a gym bro is accosted by a miscreant right after a workout when his muscles are tired

>A metaphysically lost dog
(everything in parentheses should be italicized)

As the master closed the front door behind him, the dog heard the lock click just before the car door opened and the engine started. This noise engendered distress more powerful than any other emotion the dog was capable of, so he laid in his doggy bed to ponder the nature of his existence.

(Why has my master abandoned me? This is the question of most significance,) the dog started out. (I am clearly being punished,) he continued, (and because the master is fair and just, I can be sure that I am being punished fairly and justly. This can only mean,) but before the dog could continue his discourse, he noticed a strip of sunlight that shot through the cloud above, and beamed through the sliding glass door. Dust floated inside the wide laser and the dog stepped over to enter the light, look up towards its source, and sneeze. He then laid down inside the light and took a nap.

(I am surely being punished for my actions,) the dog thought while lapping up water from his bowl. (And it stands to reason that if I am penitent, the master will take mercy on me. But what is it that I could have done?) the dog asked himself as he walked past the tattered back of the couch. (I cannot put a paw on anything I could have done that would warrant the master’s anger,) he continued as he stepped over the muddy footprints tracked in this morning after his run in the rain. He ducked through the dog door and surveyed his domain. The grass was torn up in several places, and much dark mud was visible within the glistening emerald grass. (Since I have clearly done nothing wrong, and the master is both just and fair, then the only possible explanation for my punishment is that the master is testing me,) the dog realized triumphantly, (a test, a test, how could I have been so foolish as to think I was being punished for my behavior. It is now exceedingly clear to me --) the dog adjusted his stance and lowered his squared shoulders. Snarling, he faced the squirrel head on, waiting for his opening. The squirrel flinched first and the dog took his opportunity and pounded towards in barreling half way up the tree before falling back to the ground, keeping his balance against the tree, and bouncing on his back legs. The squirrel danced with the leaves of the tree and soared across the fence to safety. Feeling content with his home defense, the dog laid down on the grass under the shade offered by the tree.

>>17731069
I'm glad you liked it - when I wrote that I pictured someone feeling thin or less than, so flashed as in brief and fleeting. Kind of like a photograph? It's holding someone but feeling like you aren't enough?
>>17731120
Thank you very much for taking the time to give me constructive criticism. I will def clean up the tenses and try and add some more structure to it, give it a sense of place.

I know I shouldn't have to explain for a story to be readable, and that is on me, but the prompt "two lesbians eating pizza" made me think of someone driven to lesbian-ism lmao. Idk why.

It is interesting that you found the last sentences as throw away when that is all I had at the beginning. I am glad it made you uncomfortable though, I was going for that. The make-up thing is about covering up bruises - you mostly use foundation.

I forgot what else I wanted to mention, but I'm going to give it a second draft. Thanks again for the write up.

>>17731401
(Since the master is testing me, the only way for him to return is to prove my devotion to him,) the dog realized in that moment, (something as simple as preparing dinner for him would surely propel me into his good graces, and allow for his expedient return.) While the dog theorized the meal the master would approve of most, he heard the car pull up to the house, the engine click off, and the door open. As the dog trotted back inside through the dog door to greet his master, he forgot all about the silly idea of making dinner. (How foolish I was to think the master was testing me,) the dog chided himself, (when it is all so obvious that no action he or I have ever taken has had any significance whatsoever!)

I'm the person that called dibs on this one in the last thread, sorry that it has taken me a while. Cheers

>>17731404
Flashed makes sense now. I like the poetic quality of your story quite a bit and hope you don’t change too much. The other line I didn’t fully get was smile for dinner, my brain thought you meant to write stayed, but now I don’t know.

>>17731474
thanks anon! means a lot. That's exactly right! Normally you "stayed" for dinner so I wrote smiled, besides thats all people do for their first dinner with the gf's parents. You just smile and talk about nothing. And no one brings up religion, politics or past relationships

>>17731385
I’ve been looking forward to someone taking this on...it’s a hilarious image. Made me think of this:
>https://youtu.be/bj2yfvQGbl8

>>17731401
>>17731412
“The Book of Dob”

Loved it!

>>17731401
>everything in parentheses should be italicized
Roger. This is great, thank you anon. You did a really good job transitioning between the internal dialog and external action with quiet moments.

>>17731412
hey anon, i loved this a lot. i only wish the dog had caught the squirrel and therefore brought his master home or something

Looks great boys!

>>17733547
Damn, I didn't catch the apostrophes. They will be consistent (matching) in anthology 02.

>>17731120
>The pay phone call at the end, the only part that ties to the prompt, seemed like a throw-away.
I liked that personally

Bump

>a gym bro is accosted by a miscreant right after a workout when his muscles are tired

https://pastebin.com/NyKE7qad

>>17731634
I wish I was cool enough to do that. I always have a really front load idea and never enough room for everything I intend to cram in. Total different ending than I planned, and embarrassingly brief,

>>17722568
one of the few good ones i've ever seen in these threads. very well written. the flow is really good, especially in the intro. felt like an opening to a long story but you ended it just right. i like it

>>17733990
me too

>>17735987
kek, i can tell this is /fit/ and i don't even go there

>>17735987
Added, glad you took up the prompt! Will read it later today.

>>17736184
Thanks dude!

>>17736286
I pulled from an uncomfortable amount of truth from this story lmao.

>>17736541
The best stories do!

So were the others impressed when you showed off the vibrams you stole?

>>17736685
Yeah, after I cleaned his block and ripped his shoes off I showed them off to my fellow homeless friends in my exposed red brick. . . Alley way.

>>17730054
>A gang stalking group made up of orangutans
dibs on this one; hope to write it by the following day or so

Was going to write the snow globe one but another anon called dibs

>>17738978
We had a few duplicates last time. I think we want to avoid them if possible, but if you’ve got a good idea don’t let it stop you.

>>17733547
Expecting my copy in a day or two!

bump

>>17730054
>An outlaw is laughed out of town
https://pastebin.com/5YXeGKAJ

here's another, not sure if this is "gore" I don't think so. I'll cool down after this though. I feel like I could shit the book up and submit a five prompts a day

>A truck driver picks up a clown off the side of the road.

>>17742247
Nice anon. I'll read it in the morning with breakfast.

>>17730054
>A city infested with rats decides to teach them about Ratatouille

Should be done tomorrow

Bump

[*not for the anthology*]
>>17743186
>A city infested with rats decides to teach them about Ratatouille

“So then what happened?” Asked the pet shop owner.

The old man continued, “Well, Mayor Rutter was the kind of politician could never back down, never give an inch. He called their bluff!”

“And I take it they weren’t bluffing...”

“Son, when city workers get enough momentum to strike, they never bluffin’. And once you get the prison guards and trash collectors behind ‘em, they playin’ with a straight flush. The whole city of Baltimore shut down for over three months.”

“I’m sorry, I still don’t understand why you need turtles for this.”

“I’m getting to that part in time, settle down. So the city limped along with minimal support for a few weeks, but it soon became apparent that the trash was going to be the biggest issue. I’m this city, we got rat problems in normal times. You forget to toss your bag of trash into one of them green lidded bins and within an hour they’ll have ripped the bag open and tossed it about everywhere! When the trash workers went on strike, green bins across the city got filled right up. Anything after that, the rats would just tear apart. Makes you wonder why you even wasted a bag, might be less of a mess if you save the rats the trouble and just toss the garbage in the alley direct.”

“Was there anything to keep the rats in check?”

“Cats’ll chase birds and mice and shit, but they won’t fuck with a real B’more Rat. Maybe a fox could pick off a rat or two, but there aren’t nearly enough foxes for what we got. Over those three months, the rats took over the whole city...good parts, rough parts, all of it.”

(1/2)

>>17744934
(2/2)

“I think I read about this in the paper. Didn’t they set up some program to educate the rats, or at I just making that up?”

“Those goddamn idiots. I told you before, I was no fan of Mayor Rutter...but he got himself this idea that he could spin the rats as a positive for the city. Tried to get the Oriels to change the team name, tried to make a movie about the culture and history of the city’s rats, even offered to build tiny mansions on the waterfront for Instagram famous rats to live in.”

“Wait, how have I not heard that you have Instagr—“

“There’s not a type of rat we don’t have. Big rats, tiny rats, handsome rats, dumb rats, smart rats... you name it, we got a rat for it! The Mayor took this little piece of wisdom to heart...whenever citizens complained of the smell or asked he give in to the demands, he just made some joke about all the rats could do. ‘Cept he wasn’t joking. The Sun put out this piece showing Rutter had rounded up hundreds of rats, and was trying to teach ‘em shit.”

“Like Ratatouille?”

“Hah, so you read the headline. Yeah he had em learning to cook food, to pick up trash, clean sidewalks, remove insect infestations, sniff drugs, locate bombs...the list goes on and on. Oh and speaking of which, there was no way in hell Rutter was doing that without him personally training every one of the rats he was using. He went full Willard, stopped doing anything else.”

“Wait, so the rates could actually do that?”

“What? Fuck no...they was just a bunch of rats, Rutter was havin’ a nervous breakdown. After the article came out, they got him out of there and the deputy mayor negotiated an end to the strike. Still, the damage was done, and the rat population was about triple what it was this time last year.”

“Man, that’s an insane story. I worked with animals my whole life, but trying to train rats...”

“Yeah, you can’t teach a rat shit. They’re just gonna do what’s in their nature. I been readin’ some literature on what exactly rats would do if left to their own devices, and that’s why I need those turtles from you. I’m hopin’ we can get a thousand turtles maybe, as much as we can get hold of, and send them into the sewers with some pizzas.”

“I’m sorry sir, you’re mistaken. I believe it’s been definitively established that comics aren’t /lit/.”

The old man left the shop, dejected. He would as if anyone in /co/ knew where to find some turtles.

>>17744934
>>17744958
kek, didn't see that coming

>>17744958
Great story. I like the realism ending.

>>17744958
>>17744934
Based

>>17742247
Well written but it could be less straightforward.

>>17735987
Hilarious, I like this one a lot and would read a sequel. Nice.

>>17745531
Thanks
Heard another anon say you should write from personal experience...

>>17745573
I wasn't huge on the outlaw one, I tried to bust it out in under an hour -- not an excuse. Is there anything specifically you can point to?

If I had to say one thing, is that the punchline is too short while I jerk off about cowboy shit for 850 words

>>17745756
It could be a more unexpected and imaginative take on the prompt. Readers love novelty and having no idea what will come next. For example, the main character could be outlawed from a cult, a college fraternity, modern society (some kind of terrorist? maybe it's all a big misunderstanding) or just sees himself as an outlaw and no one else thinks twice about him. A wild west setting is the most predictable and the punchline falls flat. I think you're close to nailing the humor of this swaggering guy who thinks he's hot shit falling from grace but it's not there yet. The setting might have a lot to do with it. Maybe that's just me. You definitely have the tools. I'd say loosen up and write with less constraint.

>>17746830
Based and constructive. I appreciate it.

When I was a kid I use to post on fiction press and I remember someone left a review infuriated that I had basically broken the rules of fantasy. The context of what he was bitching at is water under the bridge, but the principal of it is hilarious. That being said, I took the cowards way out here.

>>17746924
Idk, flash fiction can be just that. Some are polished, some are raw.

That said, I was also waiting for a different twist. Twice, the teller said “sir—“ and he cut her off. I was thinking she was going to point out something was wrong (gun broken, you robbed us last week, the bank is next door, you’re bleeding, etc).

You established that he was a jerk who deserved something bad to happen, but I don’t think we got to revel in the humiliation that much...in a way it way it may have been so harsh a punishment he became sympathetic.

Still for a 1hr flash, doesn’t need to be perfect...I keked, what more do you need?

>>17747101
When I think about it, i approached the three prompts I did so far as a stream of consciousness. A few paragraphs in I start loading up on ideas i want to use but I run out of room fast. I think before I cleaned up the outlaw story I had like ~1015 words then I trimmed it down to an even 1000. I'm not trying to excuse myself, but I'm just explaining where all of these sudden endings came from.

For instance, i want to take the gymbro story and lengthen it out and add some illustrations to it, I really liked where I had that in my head.

>>17747268
I’ve been doing so many flashes, that I write a/o looking at word count and usually land between 800-1100. If I ever try to do something longer it’ll be quite an adjustment.

>>17748228
does a/o mean adults only. serious question.

>>17748577
Lol, it’s ‘w/o’ written to fast on an iPhone keyboard...

>>17748755
Based king. I thought you meant you wrote smut. Have you tried making stories that chain together instead of just doing longer stories?

>>17749118
I believe you may have just invented ‘chapters’!

>>17749539

>>17732266
Just making sure that you saw the continuation of the story here >>17731412
Should have put 1/2 in the first one my bad

>>17749828
Yup, I got it. Here's the latest table of contents

>>17750220
Heres the final draft of Two Lesbians, thanks for all the hard work.
https://pastebin.com/rHik5AAC

>>17750395
I haven't read it yet but G sounds cooler than S. I'm going to be sad if I don't like it as much as the original. In fact I like the original so much that I may forget you posted this.

Another prompt I just thought up
>A teenager takes up a summer job as a professional squirrel catcher

>>17730054
>>A politician fantasizes about world domination
Probably going to write this one tomorrow

>>17751003
Seconded.

G reminds me of ‘Countess G—-’ from the Count of Monte Cristo.

>>17751003
>>17751354
you guys :( Ill change it back rn. I changed it cause I wanted a friend to read it and didn't want them to think I beat my ex gf (her name started w a G) also I didn't beat her fr
https://pastebin.com/AGbmkN36

>>17751003
I'll give squirrel catcher a try but I'm not calling dibs

Bump

>>17751371
It's a good story, hope your friend likes it.

>>17751484
Excellent

>>17735987
This one was a lot of fun to read. Nice job

What's the deal with the F. Gardner guy. Im new to this board and every day I see his stuff advertised on the banner

>>17754306
wish i could see our banners desu. ublock is turned off and they're still hidden.

>>17754561
try looking on mobile, i saw loads of em then

FUCK YEAH MY COPY JUST CAME!!!

can't wait to start reading

>>17755280

>>17755280
Mine too, looks really good for a $4 copy

>>17755018
Just ran the ad for a week after the release of anthology 01.

If you want, though, you can print out pic related, tape to you monitor/phone and re-live those halcyon days.

>>17755336
>>17755332
>>17755288
>>17755280
Bummed out I missed in contributing to first one. This looks awesome.

>>17755280
>>17755288
>>17755332
Nice. Mine is due to arrive next week.

>>17755332
Would you (or any other anon who bought the book) be so kind to take a picture of the story that starts at page 80? It's number 30. Thank you.

>>17737745
>A gang-stalking group made up of orangutans
[between *asterisks* to be italicized]

Among contemporary technocapitalocene women (as, surely too, among the men), certain (arche?)types appear, even if some only dimly and atavistically: the sultry vamp, the matriarchal keeper of boys, the living wonder transmuted into pure Desire on OnlyFans, the aristocratic outsider, or the learnèd *plaisir de pédéraste*. Then—though so many may, God yielding, exude unique flashes, decrease though it may—then, one comes across *quelqu’une* who is wholly singular. Lucrèce d’Oursinade was no such individual, but rather, from what I could gather of the emails I intercepted of hers, an amalgamation containing a bit of them all.

Lucrèce was preparing a master’s thesis in primatology, which set out to grapple with—at first (ingénue’s outline) refute, later only to “problematize”—scholar Ercole Cantarella’s radical orangutan hypothesis. Cantarella (2021), a Doomerzilian *pur sang*, has gone farther than those trying to expand Indo-European models the (human) world over, into Indonesia, say; largely basing himself on Harrison and Chivers (2007), he claims *orangutans* display Dumézil’s sacred bipartition of sovereignty (cf. Dumézil 1940/1948), thus bringing back onto the table the question of the relation of sociology and biology. As such, the *flanged* and *unflanged* morphs of male orangutans with their respective mating strategies—which Harrison and Chivers describe as having evolved, due to local food scarcity, from an erstwhile sedentary and gregarious situation in which a male lorded over a harem—are mapped onto the lawful and the terrible forms of sovereignty, respectively, by Cantarella, as exemplified, also respectively, by, for example, the ancient Roman institutions of the flamines (grave, senior, conserving) and the exceptional luperci (speedy, youthful, creative-destructive). In their long period of development, Cantarella claims, while many males, growing the large cheek pads or flanges, mature into what he calls the norm (with its attraction strategy based on calling, or as Cantarella would have it, “discourse”), some adolescents are “initiated” into semi-solitary “secret societies” akin to the luperci. Most characteristic of the disorderly unflanged males would then be their violence, bachelorhood, celerity, and muteness, as expressed in their “sneak-and-rape” mating rituals.

*… The voracity of an arm sprigged in orange down, outstretched, uncovers heavy fronds and reveals, with only a slight rustling, a virgin at her toilette …*

(1/2)

>>17756628
It was not so much the ethological findings as the, to her mind, imported baseless philosophical conjecture that Lucrèce wished to contest—when, at her University’s conservation center, a pack or rather troop or band of adolescent orangutans escaped the fetters of domestication. In the months leading up to the escape, Lucrèce would often visit the center and spend prolonged afternoons observing Monsanto, a young male showing signs of dominance and one who would steal away into the night. She would stare into his eyes with a deliberate swoon, and bare her teeth to him in cheeky grins or lustful grimaces (ahooga, I believe it’s called). She would receive repeated emails warning her of this, reports come from one or other bored worker from the center; she feigned ignorance. Would Monsanto have believed it? or rather have seen a cruel play in her visits?

What Lucrèce objected to above all, beneath the surface level of a binary, was the sensational bouts of violence Cantarella had so liberally poured into his writings, and a fortiori his subject, while, she esteemed, it was primarily the transgressive aesthetic of his sketched text that Cantarella really cared about. All that would change, however, a few weeks after the escape of the adolescent—and, yes, unflanged—orangutans, when she found herself become a *targeted individual*. Her inbox flooded with messages from unknown addresses, subject blank and content likewise, but with image attachments (auto-displayed) of—well … out-of-focus skies and foliages, dark nothings, an opposable thumb on the lens, a tuft of orange …. Phone calls rang, only to hear silence upon answering, a stifled rough breathing perhaps.

In a succession of a week, Lucrèce received a noticeable increase of fans on her very normal OnlyFans account, fans who paid lavishly but always without a lick of discourse. (With the exception of a request in garbled prose, accepted by Lucrèce, recording a naughty TikTok-style dance in a Josephine Baker–style banana ceinture—a private privilege which, by my interception, I greatly cherish.) This seemingly positive aspect did not unsour the Lucretian palate, however; she sensed their connection, and, to her horror, soon received an email attaching the clear selfied headshot of—’twas unmistakably him:—Monsanto. And then of another orange rogue, pouting his lips. And another. And a picture of her apartment building.

At the moment no new outgoing emails would show up any longer in Lucrèce d’Oursinade’s institutional email address, just then, from my tall, barren, and spiny tree, did I extend my spyglass and behold a pack or rather troop or band of naked orangutans making off on horseback, Monsanto at the front and, planted on the back of his steed, Lucrèce in dishabille, a look of terror in her eyes, but also, I made out, a twinkle of ravishment.

(2/2)

>>17754306
It’s kind of straightforward. He’s an anon from here who wrote some books.

>>17756640
Correction: "...binary, [were] the sensational bouts..."

>>17756700
How the fuck is that guy writing his books so fast? I seriously don’t understand how that’s possible.

>>17756776
Have you read any of them?

>>17757526
Only Call of the Arcade. I downloaded it when it was free.

>>17755280
Really cool to see my story in print.

>>17721655
>>17721663
Can somebody give me some feedback on my story cause I am thinking bout changing the ending and want to know what other anons think bout it currently.

bump

>>17757783
yeah gimme 30 and Ill write up my thoughts

Got my copy! It wasn't supposed to arrive until next week.

In the mystical kingdom, great energy and effort went in to creating a precious jewel; a crystal thru which form was transmuted into matter; at least, that was the plan. But one ingredient, required for it to function, was missing.

Outside the kingdom, a mighty forest clamored; producing explosions of nectar laced with pollen into the air. And the pollen was the one thing the jewel required.

But a transient hierarchical peak surfed: the "I" think stood up and said "No.".

And the precious jewel passed its use by date and got flushed down the toilet. And the mystical kingdom expressed its rage and grief as what the I things called pms.

Bumping with an updated prompt list.

I let a few of the older ones go, but don’t let that stop you from going at ‘em:

>A citizen in a utopian society is having a really, really bad day (>>17728505)
>A former viral star struggles to extend their 15 minutes of fame (>>17728505)
>Alien spiders be telepathic
>A town plagued by blizzards discovers they're in a snowglobe owned by a child (>> 17700435) (>>17738978)
>A witch enters a cooking contest against a famous chef and wins with one of her brews as a soup.
> A girl finds a skirt that allows her to travel back in time
> A boy wakes up in the body of Marilyn Monroe
> Two thieves have to carry out a robbery in a Buddhist temple
> A strange pandemic turns people into cheerleaders
>A politician fantasizes about world domination (>>17751015)
>A group holds a discussion without addressing the literal elephant in the room
>A US president delivers a state of the union message on the eve of an apocalypse
>A gastronomic event causes a mishap of biblical proportions
>Two time criminals are banished to the Israel of the New Testament
>A boy is forced to dress as a maid to save the world from an alien invasion.
>A Mexican, a Jew and a black man walk into an Irish pub
>A talking pink animal goes into a brief adventure that he enjoys very very much
>An ice cream man sets up shop outside a union job site in a rough part of town
>A truck driver picks up a clown off the side of the road.
>A teenager takes up a summer job as a professional squirrel catcher (>>17751484)

>>17760271
bump

>>17756202
Got u

>>17761138
Thank you very much!

>>17760271
It's been a second since I've been in this thread. Are we calling stories now? I thought it was supposed to be raw flash-fiction, not just short fiction.

>>17730054
>>A man uses his superpowers for the most mundane tasks
Working on this one

>>17761689
In order to try to prevent duplicates, I think people are letting others know if there’s a prompt they’re currently working on, or hope to start when they have time.

I don’t think there’s any hard rule against two authors providing different takes on the same prompt - the last volume had one prompt with three flashes - I included the links above just so someone new working on a prompt can see what’s been said about it. Many of these were ‘claimed’ quite a few days back, so they may have been shelved.

>>17755336
neat

>>17757783
I enjoy the roundabout way you start. Not too direct. The grammar needs to be cleaned up a bit (not sure why some words have a capital letter, for example) but I can do that easily. The instinct/rationality polarity is really interesting and also a bit confusing at times. I'm also not sure what to think of the Blackrock. Parts of it seem like they might be AI generated but I like the overall approach.

>>17760271
Thanks this is helpful!

>>17760271
interested in a couple of these but i'm not gonna call dibs
get writing and have fun, lads

>>17760271
Anon who claimed the snowglobe one previously, feel free to have a go at it because I feel like the start of mine is pretty off-topic and starting over will take time.

>>17763401
Thanks anon. I'll take a stab at it today or tomorrow. I'd still like to see yours though. I don't see anything wrong with starting off topic. A lot of flashes do that.

I'm so happy with anthology 01. The stories are really great. Can't wait to put together 02. And once 03 is done (whenever that happens), I think I'll put all 150 stories into an omnibus.

By the way, let me know if there's anything that should be tweaked. My list so far has making the apostrophe style consistent and slightly adjusting the spine image on the print copy.

>>17764157
I'll keep the draft! There's nothing too wrong with it inherently I hope, but midway I had the realization that it'd be more fun to tie the discovery of the truth into something more shocking seeing that people don't actually live in a snowglobe so what really happened there?

>>17764246
Based.

Does anyone have any recommendations or advice for posting on other websites or communities. Webnovel, medium, places like that

>>17764157
>A town plagued by blizzards discovers they're in a snowglobe owned by a child

Buzz lifted the lid of his grandfather’s chest—and then there was light, bending through the scratched and time-worn glass, shattering the vision of the once-human inhabitants within. An unsustainable cycle of incest and cannibalism had kept them alive through the long dark. Now there were only three. They writhed and drove their faces into the snow. It was as the prophets foretold. The sun had returned—God was alive. In the flash of light he saw their sins, what they had allowed themselves to become. And the wretched survivors would feel his wrath.

They had been alive far too long already. The globe should have broken decades ago. Somehow it had survived. A torture chamber of souls either forgotten or punished. Neither purgatory nor hell. Only pain.

The light washed out their vision. They were truly blind; ancient feuds forgotten; they crawled from their quadrants to the fortress for shelter. It was in the middle of their world and most deeply cursed. A site of mutilation. Timeless entertainment. The walls had been painted white. People had laughed in them once. They wore colorful clothes and danced. Their pictures were still painted on walls now darkened with blood graffiti and the frozen remnants of feces. A triumph of boredom.

The three clutched bannisters and drove their thin toes into cracks between flagstones. They grinded their teeth and snarled when they smelt another come near. It was the moment foretold. They trembled and shat and shivered. Ecstasy of the end times running through their veins. A piercing áchos. Sublime.

Their God was a cruel God. He smiled and shook. The world turned upside down. The freezing, cutting shards of snow became a tempest. The castle filled with them, and the three were sliced a thousand times but not killed. Never killed. Screams bouncing off their thick protective shell. God did not want to listen.

But then there was another. A larger God, a looming God—reaching to smite their tormenter!

Buzz sneered and just before justice was served he let the globe drop.

Spinning.

Cutting.

Smash.

The castle broke apart, scattering the three among the shards of snow. Light blossomed a thousand times brighter than before. The expanse of the universe opened up to them. They curled into balls and waited in silence for God’s final punishment. But he had already forgotten them. The punishment was over.

New prompt
>An old book cafe becomes the favorite hangout of undergraduate English majors

>>17764607
Lots to say on the subject. Depends on what your goals are. What do you want to know specifically?

Just writing sort of dumb fiction. I’m the feller that did the gymbro and whatever else. I wanted to rewrite that with a larger story I’ve thought about.

Just if anyone has recommendations for communities to test stuff out. Fiction Press was the only thing I ever used and that was like 11 years ago. I imagine that website is dead. All the other recommendations I see online are top 10 lists, and I’d sooner trust someone here than a twitter list for websites.

>>17764882
Meant for
>>17764882

>>17764882
Meant for
>>17764644

>>17764882
It's difficult to find a platform for idiosyncratic or literary fiction. Wattpad, Royal Road, and fan fiction sites specialize in serial format genre fiction, namely fantasy, romance, and YA. I don't know of a good site for posting free flash fiction or short stories for the purpose of feedback. There are all kinds of magazines and publications that accept submissions of that length, some of them offering pay and some of them not, some of them easier to get into than others. That doesn't sound like what you're looking for, though. I'll post a better answer if I think of one.

>>17765090
I suppose I don’t know either. I mostly draw. I only started writing again like a week ago. Do you have a sticky or something you’d suggest I read? I don’t want bother you for a huge explanation that might waste your time.

>>17765203
I highly recommend Writing the Breakout Novel by elite literary agent Donald Masss. It's useful for understanding how a good story works in any format. Well written and straightforward with example passages from successful novels. Voice (impactful writing style, neither dry nor purple prose), technical writing (grammar and syntax), and maintaining tension (intrigue, what happens next, big stakes, no fluff) are the three essential aspects of a story in my opinion.

There is a ton of bad writing advice out there that can fuck you up if you let it in your head. As Hemingway and a lot of other writers have said in their own way, all you do is sit at a typewriter and bleed. Get out of your own way. Write something meaningful to you that has real impact. Be daring and make the reader give a shit about your characters and what's happening.

>>17765318
Sweet, that’ll be the next thing I read.

>>17764635
Holy shit, I'm the anon who produced the prompt and this is such a brutal, raw take I never could have predicted. Great work!

>>17764635
Wow, new favorite!!
Never going to look at sea monkeys the same way again...

When I heard ‘Buzz’ I immediately flashed to a the big brother in Home Alone...anyone else?

>>17766215
Thanks very much! It was great fun to write. Tweaking the 3rd paragraph at the moment to make it flow better.

>>17766450
A question on paragraph 4:
It sounds like time moves in fast motion inside the globe, would they feel it as a violent shaking or as minutes/hours with a spider-like hand over the sky and gravity pulling them East then west then skyward then down?

>>17766446
That is exactly how I pictured him.

>>17766515
I'll read it again with the fast motion in mind. I didn't pick that up the first time. I was thinking it's real-time shaking.

Thoughts on this one?

>>17756628
>>17756640

>>17766754
Really liked the contrast of the exaggerated academic tone with the *ahem* blue subject matter.

Also loved the subtle narrator reveal at the end.

I’ll be honest, I got pretty lost amongst the parentheticals and had to run to a thesaurus or translator a few times just to be sure I knew the difference between real and fictional words...but you put in the work so I figured it was worth it. Was stumped trying to recall if I knew what an ‘ahooga’ was, ‘til I actually said it aloud and realized any 10 year old world know the term.

Extremely creative direction...when the prompt goes low, you gotta subvert the expectations.

>>17764635
Whoa, this is brutal. Good job anon!

>>17766754
I love it. Extremely strong and ambivalently satirical voice, intrigue from the start, lateral structure, barely get away with the flourish.

>Two time criminals are banished to the Israel of the New Testament

All that was in sight was a blonde, kind of girly-looking, winged man...

...in the center of a wrestling ring.

In a packed modern day stadium.

Right as one was going to turn to the other to confirm that was they were seeing wasn't some form of hallucination, a voice came from every direction at an earsplitting volume.


"...and competing for the title of Israel is..."

That was enough for the longer-haired one of the duo to figure what was going on, or at least what was going on in front of her. The short-haired one, on the other hand, was thinking way to hard about what "the title of Israel" could mean.

Right then, fire erupted from the west side of the stadium, creating a passage of flame to the ring, and encroaching out of the shadows of the stage, revealed the man known as...

"...JJJJJJJAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCOOOOOOOOOBBBBBB!"

And to articulate the reveal of the challenger, through speakers that had way too much bass on them, played Burn the Priest's Cover of Ministry's "Jesus Built My Hotrod". That was enough for the short-haired girl to catch on to some idea of what was happening. Turning her head around frantically, analyzing the stadium around her, another out-of-place detail became apparent. When Jacob was barely over halfway to the ring, she turned to her longer-haired companion with a revaluation.

This was the 1990 Royal Rumble Set. Which meant they were in Miami, not Israel, and Jesus Built my Hotrod was a 1991 single in an album that came out in 1992, but this was a cover of the song that came out in 2018, so...

"This isn't Israel!"

"Oh, really?!" The long-haired one said, responding like an enraged Tim Allen. "What gave it away?!"

(1/2)

>>17760271
>A gastronomic event causes a mishap of biblical proportions
gonna write this one

>>17768549
(2/2)

The short-haired girl began counting her fingers. "Well, this is the 1990 Royal Rumble Set, which is in Miami, and Jesus Built my Hotrod was a-"

Like a judge bringing their gavel down, the long-haired girl's balled up fist met the top of the short-haired one's head. "Does any of that help us?"

".........Hulk Hogan won.....?"

"Do either of those people look like Hulk Hogan?!"

They stared at each other before looking back at the ring. The long-haired one didn't know anything about WWE, but she could tell if someone was dressed up as Hulk Hogan on Halloween, and even though it wasn't Halloween, Jacob of the New Testament looked like he was about to go trick-or-treating. The short-haired one didn't know anything about what was happening, but, yeah, the dude getting on the ring right now looked kind of like Hulk Hogan.

The long-haired one, mentally exhausted, sighed hard and slouched back in her seat, crossing her arms, fueling the engine to her train of thought...

Obviously, this was an anomaly caused by the two's activities, and they got sent to the fruits of their labor. But, this seems... stupid. The punishments for messing around with time-travel should be extreme, not some weird timeout corner.

The train was derailed by a tapping on her shoulder. She turned her head to her right. Her companion was holding out a white bag with red stripes almost overflowing with popcorn.

The thought of how she got popcorn didn't even cross the long-haired girl's mind, but she asked a question out of habit.

"Where'd you get that."

"They were selling it."

After staring at the bag, she grabbed a handful of popcorn, and shoved it in her mouth, defeated.

"...might as well enjoy this. Biblical wrestling might be interesting."

>>17768566
sorry for playing around with the meaning of the prompt a bit.

some new prompts

>A very dramatic drive-through order
>A man tries to sell lucid dreams to someone
>The entire world is put under the effects of DMT

Hello! Does anyone feel like reading this? I started it for the flash fiction thing but had a bunch of other ideas that I started to do. I'd like for someone to cave my head in or something. I understand I have an issue with context, so this might just be meaningless to whoever reads it.

Gymbro
https://pastebin.com/Lxmbg6Xc

>>17745573
I wouldn't call this "sequel" but I'm going to expand it and shill on other threads.

>>17768822

>>17768829
cringe, wrong thread. won't let me delete. i can't stop spaghetti-ing

>>17768597
Weird setting, highly memorable. I like the two characters. Cozy time out. I appreciate that you didn't go with a horrible punishment and went for something unusual.

>>17768597
A man tries to sell lucid dreams to someone.
Gonna have a go at this one. I also have half of "A girl discovers a skirt that lets her travel through time" done and should be posted tomorrow.

>>17764246
>By the way, let me know if there's anything that should be tweaked. My list so far has making the apostrophe style consistent and slightly adjusting the spine image on the print copy.

Overall, the quality is excellent! Since you’re asking, I have a few extremely minor items to point out...but they are in now way material:
- The bottom line of text seemed pretty close to the edge of the page, could use a bit more margin to comfortably rest my hands without covering up text.
- Story 24 used numbered chapter headings...I’m sure it was tough handling all the ways authors whose to break up the text, but I think I could have interpreted it better as a header if it were centered (and maybe even hold or underlined). At first I thought it was just a typo.
- The apostrophe thing is so minor, I didn’t even notice...but appreciate your attention to detail!
- Loved the choice to make internal dialogue italicized (the god speaking to Ullr’s in flash 32). Could have done the same in story 45 and 47 (was that the one that uses asterisks as quotes before?) 4chan doesn’t make formatting easy, but I like that you didn’t constrain yourself to plaintext.
- I like the addition of breaks (as in stories 27, 40, 43, 46) perhaps could have done the same for the ending of story 11.

Overall, the layout is excellently done. Font size, initial lettering, consistent editing throughout (fixing commas in quotes, spelling, periods converted to ellipses, hyphens turned to m-dash, double spaces to single)...again, with so many authors I’m sure it was a huge task.

Well done!

Bump

>>17766855
>>17768271
Thanks!

Bump

>>17764635
>An old book cafe becomes the favorite hangout of undergraduate English majors
My extremely annoying housemates’s diaries desu

Hi for the last anthology I wrote a story for “a man crosses an ocean by himself” with the conceit being that it was the first part of an afterlife and that some small number of people crossed together rather than alone. I liked the setting so I started writing another story about the people who cross together, I was wondering if I should or could post it here when it’s finished? I understand if I shouldn’t because it doesn’t really fit the criteria of these threads

>>17771955
Exactly the kind of flash I’m hoping for!

>>17772022
Go ahead and post it here. It won't go in anthology 02 but I'd be happy to read it.

>>17769434
Thank you for the encouragement and feedback. Agreed on the bottom margin. Hopefully that's something I can easily fix, but I'm not sure. I generally tried to keep each author's style intact, which may explain some of the discrepancies. I'll go through the anthology today and check your other formatting points.

bump

more prompts

>A poker game where everyone cheats
>Skateboarding for the fate of the universe
>The Entrance of the Sandman
>A man tries to connect unrelated stories through a ridiculous theory