/lit/ - Literature

Repeat after me:

>I will not self-publish my writing.
>I am better than that.
>It is the coward's way out.
>I will obtain an agent.
>There is no path to success in self-publishing.

I will repeat this whenever I doubt myself.

>>17691434
Could I get a critique?

Monsters are real, Jeanette thought as she took a cautious step toward the thing in the tank. The light illuminating the tank gave off a greenish murk of a glow that only added to the disbelief and surrealism of the moment. It made her want to touch it so she could confirm this moment was not a dream. She took a hesitant step forward before her father gripped her shoulder tightly, pinching it, almost as though he read her thoughts and did it to prove it wasn't a dream.

"Not too close, dear," her father had said calmly.

She looked up into his steel grey eyes, seeing a calm look that had bothered her more than when he was in a bout of rage from his drinking.

"What is it?" She had finally found her voice to ask the simple question.

"Proof," He said coolly before kneeling and looking into her eyes," Proof of Hell itself, my dear. It's been under the waters this entire time,"

"Hell...," She murmured before giving the monstrosity in the tank a solemn gaze.

It certainly looked like something that traversed the stygian depths of Hell. That much was certain from its appearance alone. Jeanette took a sharp breath and took a step back ward as it suddenly flung it's tentacles against the glass with a hard smack. Almost pointing at her as though it could feel the fear and uncertainly growing roots into the girl's heart and soul.

Which it might very well could have, considering, Jeanette's father thought as he boldly took a step forward and reached into the pocket inside his fine suit coat.

He smiled devilishly as the shekel caught its ever peering eyes and it's tentacles now grazed against the glass with an audible sucking sound. Jeanette watched in awe at the spectacle, feeling her heart race and remembering a word her mother had taught her. Not just a word but also a sin.

A sin called Avarice.

And with the sight of the creature's reaction to the shekel, she knew that was the Devil. The Devil bound and caged by man itself.

The smoke shop jaundiced with eruption as millions of tiny little men poured out. These men congealed into Bastabilioni the sensationalist news reporter. Ever eager the bastard investigated the liquidation of the Stoner's favored. Caligula? But she was no longer there. Bastabilioni turned to his whore, Caligula had nothing to offer him anymore but her glassy eyes. In this afternoon's light the bastard found it fetching. He brought his hands to her. He loved her. Bastabilioni could only watch as the stranger fashioned a noose from skin and bone. His paws and tendrils knew no crime save fellatio yet performed their duty like the schoolchild's first errand. Caligula offered no surprise to the reveal and let the loverboy do what he did best. Caligula died in the handicapped parking space. The record scratched. The book stopped. It turned to you. You find yourself staring at a page. It holds no words of value yet you continue reading. This reading will never offer you sustenance you you continue. The book speaks to you and you must listen. Why? The book turns towards you, its breath heavy of holly. 'I am the finger down your spine when all the lights are out. I am the practitioner of your glory hole. I role your dice into the Time Temptress' lingering stare. You bed whores and I am your Watson. Come with me dear reader. As you tell the story the begins the song that lights the fire to end the world of worms and man.
Bastabilioni realigned into the driver's seat of his used 1999 Honda Civic Si in sapphire blue which he had modified with wheels not unlike those found on a Subaru WRX Sti the rally car of its time. The car was a pretty penny but Bastabilioni was a pretty man. This is the ender of the pleasantries and Bastabilioni was a made man late for introduction to homer at the local college.

I really wish anime poster would at least come up with something witty for the theme/edition of these threads.

I tried to reply to another anon in the previous thread but for some reason the captcha wouldn't solve. This is for the guy who said his friends trashed his writing:
>>17691070
>https://pastebin.com/ihyQqvCF
This just happens to be written in my least favorite tone. I'm not sure if there's a word for it, but like the author wants to be snarky and serious at the same time and somehow it ends up being less than either. It's a tone that definitely screams amateur to me, but I'd have a difficult time explaining why.
>It was all I could do not to lie down in the gutter, fall asleep and hope that the general populace had enough common decency not to park on top of me, but the growling in my stomach was a force more inescapable than the pull of a black hole, and so as fast as my legs could carry me I made my way towards the nearest source of grub.
Brevity is the soul of wit. Very often, amateur writers attempt to inject humor into their stories without actually coming up with jokes. So instead they do things that might more accurately be described as "silly" as opposed to "funny." Such as, in this passage, it seems as if you attempt to get a chuckle by exaggerating the situation. It could almost work, provided you cut out of some of the words and moved the punchline (the character is waxing apocalyptic about being hungry instead of enduring a situation more appropriate to the feelings he expresses) to the end, where it belongs. As for cutting down the words:
>a force more inescapable than the pull of a black hole
The words "black hole" conjure up a very specific image in most reader's minds: a collapsed dark star which possesses a gravitational pull from which even light cannot escape. Anything which refers back to any of the concepts mentioned in the definition are superfluous.
Try:
>a black hole of hunger in my stomach
On the subject of word choice, I like how the narrator said his vision was "going fuzzy." It's a perfect set-up, because one assumes that he's just weak from hunger and not that he is watching his world turn to yarn before his very eyes.
And one final note: it seems odd that the narrator immediately assumes barking dogs somewhere in his neighborhood are a direct threat to his life.
I'd urge you to consider the advice posted here, rewrite this story, and repost in a later thread at some point.

Everyday I wake up. I try to do that everyday. But truthfully most days I don't wake up. Most days I am already awake. I leave my bed and I immediately kneel before the rising sun. I kneel in a prayer to myself and in tears to God. I moan about how nonchalant my life is. How wasted I am. I cry. I am not good but I am not bad. I am worse than both because I am nothing. I pace around my house. Once. Twice. Thrice. It keeps on like a mad dog in a dead yard. I sit and spin. The house spins with me. My tears track cracks on my full and pale cheeks that I cannot appreciate. My eyes are inflamed like an ogre. My hands are smooth like a baby. Today I am nothing again. I cannot even say such a thought, because nothing has nobody who will listen to his cries. I shriek. I caress myself. I am my own lover. I am my own warden. I am my own shackles. I am my own freedom. My forehead meets my wall and my thoughts rise to the occasion. Desolation is what Death flees from. Another day. I am nothing. I cannot leave. We are locked in. Me and mine. The child with doors that lock the wrong way grew into an adult with no doors. But the adult cannot leave all the same. The child could leave with the help only a child possesses . We cannot leave just the same. We cannot get out. I do not hold the transportation. I do not possess the skills nor the means to leave. I am a waiter. I am a dependent far beyond his time. I can never rise to the occasion. Desolation is what awaits me. Desolation is already here. Every holiday celebrated. Every acquaintance gone like dust scattered amongst the sunless sky. We weep for Mars but proudly forget Pluto. Let known that nothing approaches. I am already here.

>>17691468
This is the first piece of writing that I've Googled from these threads. Anon, Reddit of all places can't be bothered replying to your stories. Your writing is shit because all you do is tell.

>>17692027
I was expecting something like this to happen. Whether you like it or not. My name is going to be heard every place that there's writing.

>>17691493
The theme of this thread is bussy

will smoking make me a better writer

>>17692077
Just so you know when people criticise you on 4chan and they're harsh, they do so as a test of your character. If you take the harsh criticism on the chin and reply calmly then the anon will give up being mean and genuinely help you. Many such cases.

>>17691493
I've had a goofy idea for a theme that would modify the thread plenty to make it even remotely different but I'm asleep every time the thread changes
>>17692187
Horace put it very well when he said that all the wanna be poets who tried to copy the more questionable life style choices of successful poets didn't become very good poets themselves

>>17692198
That's why I come here and post my writing so often. I want an unfiltered view on my works, no matter how harsh it is.

>>17692187
If by smoking you mean engaging in an alternative culture full of degenerates who don't care about their health but act as more a community than any other group of people you'll have met in your life, making long term friends and having adventures along the way while constantly feeding your addiction, yes, in that case, smoking will make you a better writer because it will expose you to more of the world.

Does the simple act of smoking by yourself on your patio make you a better writer? No. Nicotine's effects as a stimulant are mild and don't last very long.

>tfw you're writing a comedic fantasy but nobody finds your jokes funny except you

>>17692483
just kill yourself. You know you want to. You think opening your window all the way to see if it was big enough to jump out of was for the sake of curiosity?

>>17692483
Post an example and i'll give you a critique

>>17692502
I already did last thread. And the thread before that. And the thread before that. Every time the exact same consensus: universally negative. Not a single favorable comment

Everyone in my writing group agrees after having had to listen to my progress on it every week for two years.

writing is the most important thing in my life right now, and after a decade of practice I'm still bad. I think I might be unsalvagable

>>17692483
KILL YOUR SELF!
KILL YOUR SELF!
KILL YOUR SELF!

>>17692496
I rebuke this evil.

>>17692545
I'm actually OP. I started responding to myself with the most toxic comments I could think of to get them out of the way and remind myself what to expect. I've kept doing it because it's a free chance to take out my anger on an acceptable target

>>17692591
it seems a very weak wanking you're giving yourself, m8.

>>17692525

Today's exercise is written in the dreaded second-person.

>>17692651
>second person present tense
what possessed you to do something so horrible?

>>17692612
believing something wrong doesn't make right, and I've only gotten worse with time.

My spark dimmed and then went out. I've been writing without it for two years, and even the writing from before it was universally agreed to be terrible. I'm a husk of a husk. I'm not coming back from this

>>17692661
Nobody cares, shut up and bottle it up inside, we ain’t your therapist, so don't subject us with your self-pitying drivel.

>>17692657
I had a headache and took a single tablet of paracetamol. Then I wrote that.

>>17692670
the reason drivel all my self-pity here is because I don't think anyone else deserves to listen to this.

besides, one therapy appointment a week isn't enough, and the guy i'm talking to can't help me fix any of the things that make me want to torture myself to death

>>17692717
sounds like book writing is the least of your worries.

>>17692717
Just shut the fuck up already. Nobody here wants to read you bitching in multiple threads already. Either kill yourself or don't, but stop posting, it's annoying and not worth our time.

>>17692739
it wasn't before but it's moved up. why bother struggling to recapture a spark I never had in the first place

d>>17692740
that's why I'm posting it here instead of on a better website

>>17692749
why do you think you should be able to write a book? i think you underestimated how difficult it is. when you see someone fixing a car, do you think "i can fix that car."?

>>17692765
Don't give him attention, it's what he wants. He's just here to waste our time and waste posts on inane bullshit.

>>17692765
I thought I could do it because I did it before. turns out that time I might as well have not done it either. when it gets right down to it I'm just another worthless sped with no functional place in society

>>17691463
I don't get it, why do you say that?

>>17691468
Jeanette took a cautious step toward the tank. “Monsters are real,” she thought. A greenish murk illuminated the tank, which made the thing look even more surreal. She wanted to touch it. To confirm that it existed and wasn’t a dream. Another hesitant step forward. This time her father stopped her, gripping her shoulder tightly.

“Careful, dear, not too close,” he proclaimed.

His sudden touch brought her back to her senses and she looked up into her father’s steel grey eyes. She saw a calmness, which perhaps bothered her more than seeing his normal drunken rage.

“What is that thing?” she asked, perplexed by the being she could only describe as a monster, and by her father’s unusual demeanor.

“Proof... Proof of Hell itself, my dearest daughter.” He kneeled beside her, staring into her eyes. “It’s been living under these waters the entire time.”

She draw her attention back to the monstrosity in the tank. “Hell...,” she murmured. It certainly looked hellish.

Then suddenly it moved, flinging it’s nasty tentacles against the glass with a hard smack. It was almost as if the creature pointed at her, noticing how scared and uncertain she felt.


Unfazed, Jeanette’s father reached inside a pocket of the fine suit he wore, revealing a shekel, shimmering in the green glow. With a smug smile he held up the metal in front of him and told the monster, “Reply to this post or you mother dies in her sleep tonight.”

The monster, whom seemingly couldn’t reply, let out a horrible shriek and then froze solid. Perhaps it couldn’t bear the chock of his mother’s impending death.

Has your writing surpassed The Wandering Inn's?

>>17693081
What is this guy eating?

I wish you people would post links to the new thread, like normal generals

>mfw suffer from total aphantasia
GOD FUCKING DAMN IT.
ALL I WANT IS TO BE A GOOD WRITER.
IT'S ALL I FUCKING DESIRE, BUT I CAN'T REFLECT MY THOUGHTS ONTO PAPER BECAUSE I CAN'T SEE MY THOUGHTS.

FUCK, FUCK, FUCK. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE

>>17693203
Damn dude. I really think you may as well pursue another hobby. I know it's defeatist but when the core of your issues is neurological I think it would be hard to deny. Do it if you enjoy but I think you should look elsewhere.

>>17692651
>>17692657
This is what happens when you greentext too much

>>17692651
The 2nd person is not the problem. The lack of story, is.

>>17693216
I really do fucking enjoy it, that's the issue here. But the knowledge that I effectively suffer from a hard limit to the quality of my descriptions is like a goddamn razor blade in my guts.

I don't give a rat's fucking ass about being published, nor do I care if my work looks 'professional' or not. All I want is to amaze and entertain others. I want to provide something that's worth discussing, that I can be proud of making.

But I'm just so fucking outclassed, effortlessly at that, by my contemporaries. They're able to drum out on a whim what takes me an entire process of mental anguish, blood-boiling frustration, and tearful self-hatred to even get close to approaching.

Descriptive writing. God, am I fucking horrendous at it. My attempts at it make me cringe, it's like looking at a fingernail getting pried off with a fucking spatula.

I don't think I can find another hobby, nor do I want to in the first place. If I have to struggle, then I want to struggle, but it just hurts so horrendously bad -- I mean, I grow so intensely frustrated, so debilitatingly envious of my peers, I experience legitimate physical discomfort. You know how your jaw locks up, you feel a welling heat behind your ears, and you just know your face is reddening? I'm not sure if it's anything to do with my own lack of control over my emotions, me being a bitter vindictive fuck, or just righteous wrath at the hand I've been dealt. All I'm sure of, is that it sucks my goddamn nutsack.

I've been a fucking pussy about it, too. The only people I tend to go to for outright criticism are close friends who, despite me trusting them with my lives, probably wouldn't shit all over my writing. They like me, after all, so they'd obviously only supply nice things to say.

I want to get better so, so, so badly. God, I would do fucking anything, but the most I can do is launch into goddamn rants at 5:32 AM on /lit/, because I got absolutely mogged in prose and description by an associate of mine.

>>17693278
My thoughts are so vivid and detailed, by that I mean if there was a complete opposite of total aphantasia I'd be diagnosed with it and with my severe ADHD my thoughts are a constant mental emission. I mention this for good reason but I do want to preface that my advice and conjecture is without a learned understanding of aphantasia. Perhaps there are ways of training your imagination? Sometimes I wonder if the vividness of my thoughts related to the amount of fantasying I would do: as my thoughts plagued me with insomnia I would often lie in bed for hours in some mental narrative, accompanied by sound, smell, touch ect. I still do this, every evening when trying to sleep some type of greatly detailed story plays in my head. I used to try to use music or meditation to block it out to help me sleep faster. Perhaps you should try just lying down and thinking as vividly as possible? Or is total aphantasia mean you can't even conjure a single image? Perhaps consuming more visual stimuli will help? Like movies, manga, art, and try to recall certain visuals from memory in your head and try to mold them into a moving picture. Do you even have dreams? I can't quite comprehend how not being able to visualize thoughts would even be like(I know it's hard to explain how your mind is different when you can only experience your own mind). I feel for you as fellow retard, my eyes glaze over and I get stuck in pointless thoughts whenever I try to read.

ahem
fuck bloggers

>gee. I wonder what was updated in Erased ch 1
>"Round and round they rolled, careening and rattling in their cage. And then, a pregnant pause, cast out, spinning across the table."
What do you have to read to come up with this smooth-brained writing?

>>17693333
Checking these quads before I continue.

I cannot form a single mental image, nor can I trick myself into hearing things that aren't truly there, or conjure up a scent or taste out of nowhere; It's nothing but darkness when I close my eyes (and a few lingering dots of light that fade after just a handful of moments).

I'd say that my command over the English language, while still fairly amateurish, at least stands above average. My vocabulary is a bit limited, as far as other members of my hobby goes, but I'm typically able to dispense synonyms galore. The mechanics of writing are all I've got going for me, as far as prowess goes, but all that's irrelevant.

What pains me, and I mean it REALLY fucking pains me, is the fact I can't fully visualize a scene and vividly illustrate it to a reader. Whenever I try to do so, I encounter one of two results: The first has me simply unable to dispense a proper description, leaving the reader with a downright pitiful amount of detail. The second has me putting to text what I THINK something WOULD look like, but in a painfully clinical and boring fashion. It's like I am listing out the traits an object possesses rather than revealing them in a way that stimulates the mind.

As such, I'm horrendous when it comes to portraying emotion, as well. That last bit boggles my mind a bit. I've written things that have evoked intensely emotional responses for me, made me tear up and everything -- but maybe that's just my ego trying to compensate for the lack of ability I'm cognizant of.

I suppose, between you and I, it's a case of the grass always being greener on the other side of the fence.

>>17693203
>aphantasia
What is that? Another magic excuse for laziness?

>>17693383
When I see 'pregnant' being used in such a way, I try to imagine whatever it is describing as heavily burdened and weighed down by something within it. An inverse of 'shackled' being used metaphorically.

It's a peculiar choice of word, that's for sure, but I definitely get it. Maybe I'm just an autist.

>>17693398
a·phan·ta·si·a
/ˌāˌfanˈtāzēə/
nounMedicine
noun: aphantasia

the inability to form mental images of objects that are not present.
"if counting sheep is an abstract concept, or you are unable to visualize the faces of loved ones, you could have aphantasia"

>tl;dr: you cannot see or hear your own thoughts, but merely abstractly perceive them

>>17693391
Going back and reading this, I notice all of my typos and repetitions.
Maybe I don't have mechanical writing going for me, either.

>>17693400
>pregnant
>fraught, filled, or abounding (usually followed by with): a silence pregnant with suspense.
>teeming or fertile; rich (often followed by in): a mind pregnant in ideas.
>full of meaning; highly significant:
a pregnant utterance.
>of great importance or potential; momentous: a pregnant moment in the history of the world.
I guess I'm just ESL but I'm not

>>17693460
If it makes you feel any better, anon, I got it wrong as well.
Oh well. I'll try and remember this. I'm the anon who's pissing his pants over his aphantasia.

I'm writing a horror story and it's unexpectedly hard. I like the story itself and think it's interesting, but it's also so damn bleak and hopeless when put in words, I keep running out of steam. I wonder if readers won't just give up on it for not being "fun" enough, and I'm putting myself through all this suffering for nothing.

>>17693400
When I see the word "pregnant", I automatically think of naked, big-bellied women, and the story is ruined

>>17693478
Brave of you to reveal yourself, Gardner.

>>17693487
Gurgler would never admit having trouble, or that his books are for nothing

>>17693484
Don't forget lactating.

>>17693524
Of course. Big, sagging udders bursting full of full-bodied milk

>>17693391
Good God that sounds awful. I would never be so boorish as to assume my defects to be worse because it is in these fantasies that I find the few pleasures of life; I would go as far to say the ability to imagine is the greatest liberty a person can posses. It doesn't even sound real. Have you seen a psychiatrist? I think if I woke up one day and I couldn't imagine or day dream I would immediately kill myself. When you sleep do you dream? Is memory only reactive for you? Since you're here you must like reading but I can't comprehend reading while seeing only words. Do you have no image of what characters or scenes look like? Apologies if this is a sore spot but it really is interesting.

Can't tell if this is extended trolling or actual problems

Is it me or do modern novels have simpler prose. Maybe I'm used to reading le classics but I was reading the New York Trilogy and can't help to notice how simple and straightforward it is. Even now as I write this I recall Infinite Jest having rather straightforward prose as opposed to something like Joyce or Wilde

>>17692651
>He doesn't deserve you.
you got it backwards. and i agree with the other anon. nothing made me sympathize with her.

>>17691472
>jaundiced with eruption

>>17691634
i liked the beginning. from there, not so much

>>17693081
>katakana

>>17693607
Prose evoles with the language. People speaking 100 years ago do not speak the same as we do.

>>17693623
shit i meant kana

>>17693607
i feel this too, but maybe it's also because it's easier to 'relate' to since they're written and set recently, for lack of a better word

>>17693623
>you got it backwards. and i agree with the other anon. nothing made me sympathize with her.
I was wondering why that line sounded so weird when I wrote it. I didn't think about it hard enough. I need to study the art of compelling characters.

>>17693607
Hundreds of years ago, writing was chiefly the hobby of the rich and learned, who were spared from manual labor. Writing simple language, the way the working class plebs would speak, earned you only ridicule for being an uncultured brainlet, so authors tried their best to be as convoluted as possible, and so flaunt their privileges.

When the standards of education improved and even working class people began to write successful books, the stigma was gradually removed, and effectiveness won over purple prose.

>>17693765
Purple prose is good sometimes.
Overly needlessly purple is bad though.

>>17693607
>>17693625
>>17693649
There probably a few reasons this may seem to be: A lot of archaic words were used when they were not so archaic and thus to a modern reader such works can seem more complex. Another would be a change in education and demographic. People who wrote and read back then were often the upperclasses. So books were written for the classically educated by the classically educated. There's also the matter of quality lasting over time. Older works that were better and more complex continue to be read, many modern works may pertain their status among readers because of other factors. It's easy to read the latest shilled book and assume that there is no modern complexity in literature. The truly complex and well written will be remembered and studied and join the classics. If someone wrote slop in the 1800s there's a good chance it was lost to time or so scarcely read no one knows it.

>>17693776
Good prose is good prose, verbose or not. But there was distinct pressure to be eloquent and beautiful in the past, by other writers, and by critics who would rip apart "ugly" stories in public. And forcing things is liable to produce more bad things than good.

This is of course a separate matter from those modern writers, who fell in love with the old flowery writing style and try to imitate it, style over substance.

>>17693776
got examples of good purple prose?

>>17693776
>>17693792
Purple prose can't be good by definition, that's why it's used as a derogatory term. Not everything with elaborate sentence structures is "purple prose".

>>17693607
It's a combination of 1) evolving language, 2) much more media being published than ever, and 3) evolving sense of what makes a "great" novel

And in truth, we don't know if the popular novels of today will be popular in future. Arguably, stuff like Pride and Prejudice and Tom Sawyer has stood the test of time for over 100 years. 100 years from now, will anyone really still be reading Game of Thrones?

>>17693879
>tom sawyer
Kinda shit desu senpai. More an iconic image of the times than anything

>>17693776
I'm reminded of old law documents where the writing goes on in circles without a stop. Pic is one of the better ones.

>>17693901
By what logic do they use the regular s and the one that looks like an f?

>>17693886
>ultimate boys' book
>kinda shit

excuse me? EXCUSE ME?!

>you could say that about Huckleberry Finn, I agree

>>17693915
when another letter comes after a lower-case s, and not for upper-case S or when the lower-case s is not the last letter in the word.

it was the trendy font of the time, apparently

>>17693915
I have absolutely no idea but old law documents were filled with these. There are housing deeds that run on in a single sentence (mostly repeating itself with different words) and they're as big as A3 papers.

>>17693901
>refufe
people are funny

utimate source of knowledge is beauty

Like a mohawk at a Rodeo`.

ultimate source of beauty is knowledge

works on his kino

>>17691434
I'm so "redpilled" that I can't fucking write anything that isn't a retarded Houellebecq copycat. Fuck

Just wanted to give thanks to the anon who told me about the flash fiction, I'm working on a prompt and will post it there soon!

>>17693079
goblin is in utheringheights u thick

>>17693915
The one that looks like s as we write it is the terminal s. It ends words. Non-terminal lower-case s looks like an f.

Posted this in the poetry thread, no response as of writing this

I've been writing something about spring in Kalevala-meter (Trochaic tetrameter). I'm a complete newfag when it comes to poetry, I'd appreciate if you'd give me some feedback on this work-in-progress.

Rejoice my friends and all people
For the spring is soon to begin
Finely flowers soon shall flourish
Finely woodlands spring with new life

And the world will bathe in colors
Colors illustrating rebirth
Colors that make my mind elate
Colors thawing frozen feelings

O and how the songs will be sung
Songs of skylarks, doves, and swallows
On their path back to their homewoods
Home to their beloved northland

>>17694446
>the terminal s
What an abfolutely afs language

>>17691468
I'm hooked. This is the best opener I have ever read by far! You're insanely good at that! The question is whether your story will be original, engaging and thought provoking. So far it looks like it. Link?

>>17691472
Felt bored until you peaked my curiosity with 4th wall breaking. Then it got back to boring stuff. I don't know what the story is about, but I hope it's more like the middle part than the rest.

>>17691634
Peaked my interest at the start then it dragged into "muh everything fades so world bad". It would have a great way to introduce a protagonist.

>>17692651
Mildly interesting but she just is suicidal and negative for no reason.

>>17693478
Metro 2033 has the best horror I've read. I didn't think it was possible to feel fear reading, but I did. The silence that comes with reading is your best weapon.

>>17693607
And that's a good thing

>>17695007
>peaked my interest

>>17693478
I added some more light-hearted moments and conversation to distract from the horror, which made the narrative overall more fun and intriguing, but now it's not scary anymore.

>>17691463
I mean it's good that it inspires you but it isn't true depending on what you're writing. I'm writing a scifi thriller tilogy, it's fun but I doubt an agent picks it up even if the prose is magnificent because it's a little weird. I just want eyeballs on it, and for people to be read my writing and to follow me as an author.
Now, if you're writing litfic or some dark and brooding noir tale, self pub is a waste of your time probably, because that market doesn't really thrive there at all.

Essel wrapped his blue cloak around himself as he bled onto the floor. It calmed him in the same way a clear blue sky calmed a guard. It felt as though ice was slowly being poured over him, for with each drop of blood staining the floor, he was that much closer to welcoming Nazur.

His eyes blinked away the dusk as he turned his head from the mass of dead bodies. Blasted Sikkians and their hounds.

The whine of a dog accompanied his laboured breaths, but soon he was all alone.

A rushed thumping soon fell across his ears. Dusk had long gone and night had embraced him, in the same way that Nazur was going to embrace him soon.

Yet when he opened his eyes he saw the clear blue sky of another blue cloak, who hoisted him up.

"You look like shit," he said.

"I feel like shit," the dying blue cloak said. "How goes the Fort?"

The soldier was carrying his dying companion with great urgency. The thumping upon the ears grew louder and louder.

"You'll see with your own two eyes, Essel." The soldier was already panting, sweat of old and new stained his skin.

Essel smiled. The thumping in his ears grew louder and louder, and then all grew silent.

The soldier stopped. His lips quivered, but he wouldn't shame Essel so. He dropped to a knee and then reached for his shovel.

He stripped the body and wrapped it, Essel's own cloak over the front, his own across Essel's back.

He planted the dead soldier's spear into the ground and etched within it.

ESSEL - I - II

Then he stripped down and etched within his own spear.

ROMIV - I - I

For no blue cloak dies alone.

>>17693383
I'm sorry you don't like alliteration, assonance or double entendres. Maybe one day I'll be on your level.

>>17695548
>assonance
>ass
hehe

>effective practice is challenging practice
>i should practice something i'm unfamiliar with
2 hours and 1400 words later I don't feel like I've gained anything. Usually these take 10 minutes and have less than 500 words
Fuck me I don't even think it's any good. If any anons into romance can you tell me if I hit the appeal?
I feel like I just wasted my time. The narrative doesn't come across, it felt tedious to write and is no doubt just as tedious to read
Hopefully I can learn something from this. Damn

See you guys tomorrow morning

I had an idea for a comedic short story in which the shoulder angel and devil of a fat girl debate whether she should stick to dieting or give up. It would have fat fetish undertones.

>>17695648
Sounds fun. Do it.

>>17691434
Is it just me, or is the writing in the Cradle series really bad?
The prose is awful. Everything is either overexplained or too vague, and the actual plot is paper thin.
Action scenes are a hit or miss, some are excellentlly described and some I can barely imagine due to the awakard or vague word choice that the author uses. (Yerin vs the bandits in the mountains is a great example)
I heard this was supposed to be good...when does it get good? Book 1 was decent and carried by the premise alone, but book 2 is a slog with no redeeming qualities so far

>>17695701
Whoops, wrong general

>>17695701
>fantasy
>badly written
DUDE WHAT A MINDBLOWING DISCOVERY

>>17695508
>within
No

>For no blue cloak dies alone
Doesn't really make sense.

>>17695792
To be fair, it's shockingly bad for a popular series. He wastes a paragraph for every single one of the five senses, and he overexplains everything

Went into post novel release depression after finishing my first one, slowly starting the second, but I'm so ADHD with the wrong meth meds that I can't storyboard it the way I imagine it in my head. Write a few pages, delete almost all of it. If something feels boring, time to delete.
Sometimes wonder if publishing a book is a mistake. People will expect more from you. All the weird jealousy others have is so stupid. You're not making jack shit off of an indie novel. Get called out more for my identity than the written material itself, lol. Also, you become a part of the jack-off author circle.
Guess I'm 16 pages into a novella after writing an 800+ page monolith. o.o
Anyone have tips on better storyboarding?

>>17695934
>made it
GET OUT GET OUT
THIS IS OUR BUCKET YOU DON'T BELONG HERE ANYMORE

>>17695934
>>17695979
Unironically this. If you're published fuck off. It's like going on /r9k/ to complain about a break up

>>17696092
when im published ill keep coming back here and ill drop references to you little guys during interviews

>>17696101
Kind of based. When I'm published I'm gonna shill my book until it becomes a board main stay

>>17692187
Nicotine supposedly is a mild central nervous system stimulant, but the effects are marginal and you barely notice them after a long enough addiction. And it will be offset by the decreased blood flow and oxygen levels delivered to that silly little brain of yours. Not recommended
t. former smoker of 6 years

>tfw have met only one person who is an established writer
>she's a haughty well connected Jewess who made a career out of lambasting the alt-right
>tfw she won't network with a goy like me to give me a footing in the publishing world

>>17696241
Just fuck her, women change their minds depending on what dick is being inserted inside them

Apologies for shilling this a couple of times now, but would anyone be willing to check out / offer a genuine critique of my new Substack? I've got about 25 subs after making my first post last week. I want it to be a sort of half-literary, half-rationalist travel memoir, with some Slate Star Codex-type political-social commentary peppered in. Essentially, a travel blog of a Canadian vagabonding across Europe indefinitely, making observations and retelling anecdotes that frame that European societies and experiences vis-a-vis North America.

>https://goodperson.substack.com/

>>17696241
The only writer I ever met was this really wealth Lord because my uncle was their house keeper and cook. He's long dead though. I have an amazing memory of seeing his longue that was wall to wall bookshelves

>>17696241
A friend of mine almost had her poetry book published but I don't think that actually went anywhere

>>17691634
No one wants to read this

>>17691472
ESL?

>>17691468
The intro passage is a bit overwritten. Too many adjectives/adverbs. Scale your prose down. What does the thing in the tank look like? Use the description of the thing in the tank and the pace at which she approaches it to establish the dreaminess and surrealism and apprehension.

The shekel? What are you referring to?

>A sin called Avarice

Not a great introduction to whatever concept that's supposed to represent. At the very least, I wouldn't make this line its own paragraph. The forced dramatism is lame. Actually, the whole ending is overwrought and feels contrived / overly dramatic. I'd take another shot at the ending altogether and peel away much of the description in your intro. The middle dialogue is good enough.

Obviously, I'm the substack shill above if anyone wants to check my work. I'll be releasing more this weekend.

>>17695869
It looks like something I wrote

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/37998/wish-mountain

Seven chapters out. First arc done. Second arc getting underway.

For anons who read the story:
>favourite character
>favourite moment

And if you want consider leaving me a CHEEKY follow, the Deano-box won't buy itself.

>>17695869
I enjoy the series because Xianxia is my guilty pleasure and it's head and shoulders above every other series in terms of writing.This is fine with context, there's a lot of ceremony around Yerin using Endless Sword at this point.
Also Will Wight inspired me to pursue self pub for my genre work.

>>17696241
Only “writer” I ever knew was a journalist who I asked for critiques on my writing. He read it, said it was “good” then sent me to a self-publishing website. Meh

/wg/, I've accepted the critique that my writing sucks but I'm not really sure what to do from here on out. I can tell myself that it will be better when I edit it, but that doesn't really change what I'm planning to do or where I intend to go with my writing. Am I supposed to be having an epiphany where I change up my strategy?

>>17696397
>don't understand wtf you want people to critic about
>check link out
>requests email
>fuckthisshit.jpg

>>17696655
You already posted my dude. Spammers are bad m'kay?

>>17697450
Go for wattpad. No originality or good writing required.

>>17697499
that's not what I'm interested in

>>17697499
>>17697499
Oh shit did I? Fuck. I thought this was a new thread. My bad.

>>17697450
Hire an editor. They'll work with you to fix problems with your writing, then when you write you'll be pragmatic about not making the same mistakes. Also read classic literature to get better taste.

>>17697591
I was already planning on that when my draft was done, but... I honestly don't know what kind of advice I want to hear at the moment. Up until yesterday my main concern for my writing was that I didn't have any inspiration and without it the writing process had gotten kind of stale and uninteresting. I didn't have any concern for the quality but now that's something I have to worry about too. Instead of feeling like this is a catastrophe though I'm just kind of disassociating, even though I have less encouragement to keep writing than before

I feel like I should be feeling something but I'm not. I just kind of have a light headache and I'm wondering if I blew a fuse

>>17697655
I spent years painstakingly working out a writing process that works for me. And still people can say my writing isn't that good. You just have to do it because you're obsessed with it on some level. I gave up learning how to draw because as much as I would like to learn how to draw really well, I just don't enjoy the process of drawing.

So ask yourself if you truly care about writing and the process enough to do it.

>>17697328
>sent me to a self-publishing website.
thats a sweet burn.

>>17697499
You don't have to subscribe. You can just read without it.

>>17696241
>NPC polemic writer
>>17697328
>journalist
Why would you expect these people to have anything productive to say or provide?

>>17697699
I'm still definitely committed to being a writer, but at some point it became more about that commitment than excitement. I've heard boomers say the same thing about marriage or being in a relationship. Love isn't about the initial passion, it's about the commitment. I have to wonder if I'm doing the work to stay married to my vocation, or if I'm too stubborn to admit the relationship is bad for me.

I'll have to think about it. right now my instinct is telling me to do something and I think it's a good idea to follow it

How much do the aesthetics of prose fiction matter?
The vast majority of fiction I've read was by relatively utilitarian writers. Asimov, Zahn, Clancy. When I write, the quality is solid and persuasive, but not particularly elegant, and I see a lot of criticism here that highlights prose not being stylistic enough. Quality of the prose, rather than just what the writing depicts, seems to also be a feature of what makes something /lit/.
Is it something to improve in my style?

For those that write short stories
Do you immediately edit a story after finishing it or do you write a few and then edit them in batches?

>>17697863
>Zahn
who.gif

>Asimov
>Clancy
Both had a certain turn of phrase that is not to be underestimated, anon

>When I write, the quality is solid and persuasive, but not particularly elegant
> I see a lot of criticism here that highlights prose not being stylistic enough
Sounds like you may be overestimating your writing, which is pretty normal for newbie writers. God knows I look back on my earlier work with a good helping of cringe

>>17698442
>Zahn
Timothy Zahn, the most /lit/ writer in Star Wars.
>overestimating your writing
It's possible. I'm in graduate school for a soft science and I get As on my papers but I understand that I might be a big fish in a small pond, and it doesn't apply to fiction that much anyway.
I also enjoy watching and reading movie criticism that focuses on writing, but again that mostly focuses on plot construction and dialog rather than writing quality itself.

>>17695854
I saw the within right after I posted and it triggered me.

Essel died, so Rovri buried him and then commit suicide over his dead body.

>>17698491
>the most /lit/ writer in Star Wars
That would be either Stover or Traviss

>but again that mostly focuses on plot construction and dialog rather than writing quality itself
Nothing wrong with that actually. More writers need to focus on more plot and dialogue, IMHO.

Anyway... I won't stoop quite as low as Clancy but if you can at least match Grisham you should be alright.

>>17698546
>Essel died, so Rovri buried him and then
Yes I get that. What I mean is that the plot doesn't make any sense. Who gives a shit if blue cloaks die with a comrade or not?

OTOH if you had shown blue cloaks make a banzai charge and take down a half dozen enemies, and THEN said "blue cloaks don't die alone", that makes plenty of sense. You get where I'm coming from?

I'm surprised how hard writing is, it's harder than any other hobby I've tried. The annoying thing is that normies can't even tell when you're good at it, at least if I was learning an instrument or painting my skill level would be tangibly obvious to average person.

>>17698790
Normies want an easy to follow story. That's why Twilight is popular.

>>17698790
Normies can tell when a story's good. (They can't say why things are good or bad, but they will generally be correct when they judge it.) They just can't tell when prose is good. But storytelling is harder than prose, anyways.

>>17698790
When you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all.

>>17698790
not being able to appeal to normies and blaming it on them is massive cope, all the best authors are masters of normies and use them as a club to batter other masters of the art.

>>17698790
Normies can sense a well-told story better than art or music, actually

Does anyone know any fantasy novels with great prose?

>>17698022
Always take on one job at a time. This is something I've learned after years of mistakes. I like the creative and imaginative part of writing better than editing, so I'd always write a first draft and then move onto another one. Thing is stuff falls by the wayside. Always finish one at a time, never leave it behind. And you'll spread yourself too thin if you split your attention up for multiple projects.

>>17691434
>Trying to write for a personal love essay column. Just the opening, not polished. >Thanks anons.

Somewhere out in the great basin desert a dusty road stretched, barely visible, through tall hills and fields of sagebrush. Far from paved ground, much less any highway or town, it crossed from Utah into Nevada, winding through dry creek beds and fallen trees until opening into a shallow valley. The sun was setting, coating the quiet desert in warm gold. I would have been taking photographs, or at least admiring the beautiful, fiery scene. Instead, I was digging. My bare hands clawed in the hot sand, fighting the ticking clock of the sinking sun.
In foolish apathy, spurred by sadness and rage, I had taken my Toyota Camry across terrain no Toyota Camry should challenge. I’d made it further than could be expected. But after all those dusty miles, coming around a tight bend into the valley, the road turned to sand and my car sunk to the undercarriage. Careless, I tried to accelerate out, spitting great waves of sand into the air and completely digging out the ruts beneath my car. No cell service. No water. An empty desert, mockingly serene all around me. I was trapped.
Digging furiously, I glanced to the sun, trying to gauge how much time I had. Sweat beaded on my neck.
Four years earlier, I wiped my neck. Some sort of ooze coated my fingers. Egg yolk. I cleaned it off my white collar as best I could. Whoever had thrown it was behind a fence, out of sight. I shook it off we continued along. Another knock, another door slammed in our face. A few houses later the door opened a crack. A woman peered through the iron grate, cigarette hanging on her lips. My companion spoke this time, the usual spiel.
She coughed, preparing to speak. I looked to her window and saw a small, rainbow triangle. My fingers ran along the edge of my black nametag, nervous.
“You lot pushed that prop eight business. Don’t want nothing to do with you-tearing families apart,” she said in a gruff voice.
Ever optimistic, my companion leaned in. “No, ma’am, our message is about how families can be together forever. In fact-”
The door swung shut, rattling the grate. A flower on the porch swung back and forth. The hand-painted pot spelled in large, happy letters: “Love.”
Just another door. We moved on. Across the road, a trail ran parallel to the beach. A man ran shirtless. My eyes followed him a moment, then quickly away. Instead, I looked toward the ocean. Broad as the sea, a thought filled my mind: I shouldn’t be here.
Clawing in the sand, I fought panic. I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t have come out here. I can’t hike out. No food. No signal. Nobody knows I’m out here. The sun dipped beyond the horizon, and a chill filled the air. I kept digging.
Two years before, I met Alex. Slim, dark eyes, a simple expression on his face I mistook for confidence. He stood outside Tommy's Drive-In Burgers, waiting for me. We’d met online, a forum for people leaving the church.

>Get back into creative writing after a long hiatus
>Write 3 "completed" novels, currently working on my 4th
>400k+ words in 6 months from relatively consistent work
>All publishers I look into aren't accepting new projects, due to COVID-19

STAY THE COURSE

>>17694786
>colours...
“my mind elate” — redundant, one is or is not related; affect is not mind-mediated
“thawing frozen feelings” — same

You have more options here with directness

>>17695569
>Busted my back and arms worse than I ever had pushing gravel in a busted rusty wheelbarrow to buy her a necklace with my first pay check when we were kids. The thing was pretty, and cheap: a real amethyst set in junk silver.

>>17698491
Having passably good prose is an excellent flex in STEMish circles, and their standards


>>17699280
Fantasy

The Two Towers, JRR Tolkien
The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, CS Lewis
Watership Down, Richard Adams
The Dark is Rising, Susan Cooper
A Game of Thrones, George RR Martin
The Book of the Damned, Tanith Lee
The Black Cauldron, Lloyd Alexander
Lord of Light, Roger Zelazny
Night Watch, Terry Pratchett
Interview with the Vampire, Anne Rice

>>17696511
You're unironically going to make it then.

Alright so the world of my story has a bunch of normal stuff erased from existence, and the "villains" of the story are the result of those things trying to worm their way back into reality.
I've decided that one of those things is color. It's not as important as it was when I first started this novel, as books aren't a visual media, but it's still a big building block because what's more incomprehensible than trying to describe color to someone who's never experienced it?
But I'm torn on whether or not to pursue this to the point where the introduction of colors coincide with major plot points. I mean, books aren't movies. Even if the reader knows everything is black and white they probably still imagine colors. I do when writing the damn thing.
The book absolutely still works without it, I just think it's neat.

>>17699292
>>All publishers I look into aren't accepting new projects, due to COVID-19
This is bullshit, I was querying during the worst of it and everyone was open.

Why are women authors so terrible? What is it about the way they write?

>>17699292
What's it about?

>>17695569
I feel that it's not evocative enough for a love letter. It reads like a story being retold.

>>17699406
They're not inherently, it's the affirmative action paradox, if they need as many female-written classics as male-written, they just elevate whatever they can get their hands on, even if it makes women look worse in the long run.

So, I think this ordeal has made me realize I'm truly committed to my story. I just wish I knew how to make the process of writing it exciting to me again.

the sequel I'm planning out just feels kind of flat an uninteresting

>>17699496
If it's not interesting make it interesting. Change things.

>>17699496
What ordeal.

On a similar note, how do you all stay motivated through the revision phase?

>>17699406
I'm reading O'Connor's Collected Stories right now and it's great.

The skin that had housed Natasha's life slipped through Charles’ hands. He closed his palm around the ring he had given her years ago. Its shape etched into his hand as he squeezed it harder and harder. The emotional depths he had reached transcended typical anger or sadness. His being swamped with the weight of a thousand oceans. This is what all his years of labor and toil had amounted to. His past erased in minutes. He could not think, feel, or comprehend. The numbness almost seemed like clarity.

He gazed around at the nightmarish reality. Mounds of skin surrounded men wearing every image of despair and anguish. The devastation appeared out of the Inferno. Though not a religious type, the bizarre tales of the bible always baffled him. Its bizarre collection of tales focusing on guilt, punishment, and fear had struck him more than the idealism surrounding Christ's sacrifice. The lore had resonated so deeply for so many and he didn’t know why. Then he grinned.

The guilt, the pain, the punishment, it was a part of the cycle. The cycle that kept the world flowing was alive and well in the room. Life had played them. Whatever conjured life out of the void twisted the men with pain for its inconceivable purpose. Death was a natural part of life, so why worry. Did he expect their relationships to end differently? Was a cozy, quiet death in a cottage by the sea 40 years from now somehow better? The pain was the cost of living. That’s why the bible stuck around; to rationalize our suffering. Charles let Natasha’s hand go and walked pass the distraught babble. He exited and gazed into a mighty sunset.

Editing my book and came across this. Thoughts?

>>17699502
>What ordeal.
Finding out nobody likes my writing

>>17699500
I've been trying but I can't make anything that stands out to me. I don't need inspiration to write the way I used to but I do need inspiration to come up with a story in the first place

I think I need to revisit what initially inspired me about my first book, but it feels like a major component has become irrelevant

>>17699526
>the skin that had housed Natasha's life
Instant cringe for me. Maybe if I'd had time to adapt to your style it's okay, but just say her limp body or something like that.
Bible stuff feels a little edge lordy.
Enjoy the ending bit.

>>17699526
>bizzare bizzare
>the lore

>>17699540
Consume other works that seem quality and to your taste. It's the equivalent of eating for your brain.

>>17699406
>uses women incorrectly when it should be female

would you say "men authors"?

>>17699385
By all means, name the publishers, please.


>>17699407
The first is a surreal horror about a man trying to find his daughter in a parallel dimension. Not a huge fan of it after reread, bur it was my first try at a novel.

Second is a transgressive drama about a troubled teen, his love interest and her mysteriously tragic past, and his relationship with his mother, whom is estranged from him for unknown reasons.

The third is a fantasy novel about a young man's consciousness being transported into a foreign being on a strange planet, surrounded by three sentient races of life in a tenuous alliance with one another, which only he can hope to mend.

The fourth, that I am currently in the process of writing, is the follow up to the third novel.

I'm really happy with the third book and the fourth's progress. Trying to publish the second one would probably get me cancelled.

>>17699555
Women aren't people so it works.

>>17699540
>Finding out nobody likes my writing
Maybe you should just stop then and find something else as a hobby.

>>17699560
And you’re such an exemplar of male writing. Shit up some other thread instead of wasting our time.

>>17699580
Female hands typed this post

>>17699543
Well the character attempts suicide afterwords so he is suppose to be on edge. And the skin bit is because that's all that remains. However I get the cringe, I thought the same.

>>17699583
Suicide after death of a loved one is pretty cringe

>>17699582
Telling the truth is somehow makes me a female? Fucking pathetic

>>17699572
nah. I'm not bad enough that I can't get better. Besides, I can't qui. this shit is a part of me now

>>17699582
rf

>>17699580
>biting every piece of bait
how new?
just move on idiot, you're not gonna gain any subscribers here for virtue signalling
just ignore retarded shit

>>17699588
There are other reasons he does it lol This is his breaking point and the suicide moves the plot forward. I do appreciate the input. You're confirming what I felt people might say haha

>>17691493
Why do you faggots always want some fucking Reddit-tier theme/edition for these threads? It's fine as is. Just post your work and/or critique someone else's work.

>>17699559
>By all means, name the publishers, please.
First of all, you are lying just because you use the word "publisher." You don't go to a publisher when sending out your novel. You get an agent who does it for you.

Also, Writers House, if you actually need an example.

>used "whom" wrong in this post too
You are the biggest pretender.

Any tips on finding a good editor? in Boston if you guys are really clutch

>>17699629
Why do you even bother? The only ones working on writing are the animefags. Everything else is just shitposting or blogposting.

>>17699629
I mean, I'm new to the whole process, so, I suppose, that's my fault for being misinformed on the way things are done in the literary business.

As for the whom, that's what I get for phone posting.

>>17699654
Sure, anon, we believe you.

"Oh YES!—AHHH!!!" She squeezes the pliers tightly. "yes yes I–LOVE You. AHH!!"

"You want me to rip your clit off with these pliers?"

"WHAT?!"

"Yeah, you're a dirty slut; huh? Rub my ass, sweetie." Again she buries Summer's face in her balls, dabbing it with them and muffling the tired mascara sobbing. Through the sheen of her oily scrotum, she can see her captive gasping in silent horror.

An obese family returns to their faux-wood-paneled station wagon after having enjoyed a greasy family luncheon. "Dh... d'y'all hear a noise?" inquires Dad absent-mindedly unlocking the car door. "Sounds like talkin'..."

Summer reaches her delicate hands up to caress her captor's big, perfectly round buttocks, which quake violently on the brink of orgasm. Her deep blue eyes rise over Kirsten's testes. The pliers fall to the floor, and Kirsten moans. She moans a sweet, feminine moan, and it switches on something dark in Summer's mind: arousal.

"Them's just seagulls, darlin'."

"You're mine now," she says simply, looking down between her huge womanly breasts and under her bursting genitals to take in the sight of Summer's soul breaking. She slams the girl's head against the wall, "From now onnh, I wantt you to call me MASTER!" Summer pulls back lovingly, slipping her wet pink tongue under Kirsten's foreskin. Kirsten reaches behind herself to pin Summer's hands against her ass, the tongue swirling around her glans now and taking her to unbelievable heights of pleasure that compel her to rudely plunge deep once more, whimpers and throat sounds filling the humid air, she clutching Summer's head to her.

"Maw! Can aih feed 'em? Can aihh?"

The pained fluttering of Summer's smokey half-closed eyes says I do. "Mmhh... you're soo fuckin' hott," Kirsten husks hips thrusting, "Unhh yeahhh... I'm about to cum." Please Summer's eyes request, opening wide. PLEASE! "Beg for it, bitch. Begg!" She flexes her chest muscles, her entire breasts, and milk squirts from her nipples.

"nghhCK pleahhfGHhmadstr... GHck... pleegHH—"

Her balls spasm, she pins her captive against the wall and shouts violently going up on her toes to spew a deluge of warm, sticky, ruinous jissom down Summer's throat. And through the camera one can see Summer's grasping hands pull apart her cheeks to reveal a glimpse of her pulsating cloaca, its clitoral hoods glistening with resinous cyprine that runs down the insides of her firm, chubby, pimpled thighs and into the striped white cotton gym socks of her sneakers. Summer coughs and gags as her mouth is filled to the brim with gooey spurts of thick, milk-white cum that suspend her tongue. Kirsten's cock blasts out of her mouth, fusing her lips together and then, as it is pumped furiously, fires globs of the filth onto her face, stinging and gluing her eyes shut. She fitfully whines, her nasal cavity burning with a sense of the hateful chlorinous ejaculate that lingers therein.

Kirsten stumbles back into one of the shelves to rest her fat bum against it and to catch her breath. She uses the back of her hand to wick sweat off her brow. "Fuck..." she sighs, "that's the most I've ever came..." then laughs "Your entire upper body is fuckin' plastered!" Her hard cock still twitches but in longer intervals, smaller spurts of cum dribbling from its tip. "Ahh... Goddamn!" She drags a pair of basketball shorts up her legs.

A polaroid camera is withdrawn to snap pictures of her handiwork. Beneath layers of grunge that stick Summer to the wall, she looks battered and defeated, and slumps down. "Don't spit. Don't swallow. Understand?" She delivers two slow nods, the stiffness of her arms demonstrating how uncomfortable she is with the wetness that adheres to and inside of her. "Fuckin' taste me." She looks up through one eye, it red and sore and blinded by the flash of a bulb, and seems to plead expectantly. "I'm not going to kill you, Summer; don't worry. No way. Not yet anyhow..." It closes, the dark world burned into its retina.

"First I'll have to make you my girlfriend..."

Her hopeless low groans bubble cum on the surface of her glazed lips. Sprawled out flat on the floor, she is sure that she hears the Bully, as insipid and brutal as ever, laughing at having once again emerged victorious after all those years.

>>17699674
>>17699681
Why don't you go to the many Literotica sites for proper feedback?

>>17699648
Yeah, by googling it instead of expecting others to do it for you.

>>17699691
What do you mean? I only use 4chan.

>>17699721
Then you're wasting your time.

>>17699733
No, I know what I'm doing.

>>17699733
bro, yikes
not everyone is deluded into thinking they're "gonna make it"
most people just write for fun and don't want to go through the tedium of "networking" and constantly shilling their shit

>>17699744
Doubt it.

>>17699681
>androgyne
mm-hmm
>snuff
not my thing, but okay
>cloaca
this i did not sign up for. and for that reason, i'm out.

>>17699759
I do.

>>17699763
It looks like a pussy crossed with an asshole. If you like pussy and you like asshole, you should be fine with the androgyne cloaca. (It's called a pussy everywhere else :^)

>>17691463
I sent it to every agent I could find and they all ignored me, except one who said the writing was good but it was "slow". So I put it on amazon what else can I do.

>>17699788
Is this you

>>17699798
Ignore him, traditional publishing is dying with alternative publishing taking its place

What's the point of an agent again? Is the idea just that you have to pay someone simply for the fact that they know people in the publishing industry?

>>17699832
agents are complete parasites
>bro you need me
>my professional experience and connections are invaluable
>what? you mean you can just sell directly to the people or make sales off platforms without needing a liaison?
>NOOOOO! SELF-PUBLISHING IS A DEAD END!

>>17699835
Yeah. They have connections and publishers often only look at books approved by those agents. From what I understand it's like a second submission process where with an agent you pitch it to a publisher and then they decide if they like it. So as an author you have to get an agent to like it, then the agent goes to the publisher and tries to get them to like it too. And by like it I mean "believe it will sell enough copies"

>>17699844
Many such cases. I don't know why people still shill for a dying industry.

>>17699825
...Yes.

>>17699850
What a racket.

>>17699844
Sure, but then you have to do marketing yourself. If you're into that kind of thing. That's mostly what a publisher does these days. Marketing. Ironically I read one agent who basically said they liked it when it seemed like the authors were capable of doing some marketing on their own. It was dumb but whatever. They have a lot of control of the industry, and through their connections they control a lot of the...I think there's a word for it...the market space, which can limit what people are able to see when they go mindlessly searching for the 'latest sci-fi book' or whatever. If that makes sense.

self publishing is a scam and nobody will read a self published author or respect you

>>17699864
Just go to Royal Road or any of the big websites that allow web serials and make a name for yourself.

>>17699868
t. literary agent

>>17699864
The vast majority of agents are white women with white women milquetoast liberal political opinions and sensibilities. Good luck getting through that if you aren't an established author or a minority of the month.
Self publish chads rake in the dough while the tradfag cries in his shower with a manuscript collecting dust.

>>17699621
Because every other general thread on this god forsaken website has a gag theme/edition. It would show that anime poster is in it for community building and the fun of writing, instead of artistically racing the next guy that wishes the general wasn’t anime. It would be the least he could do, seeing as he doesn’t even update the list of sources, even though he’s basically made it known that he wants thread maintenance to be his job.

Everyday I feel the sliding needle move further and further to self publishing
People are making livings off their writing while I stress out and stare locked at a blank document
I know if I get something out right now, I can get ahead of the coming tide but I'm too worried of putting out shit and missing my window that I'm not getting anything done

>>17699868
To an extent you're correct. The problem is the low barrier of entry into self publishing may seem nice, but it allows a large amount of trash to pile up, which is another way of masking any good stuff that may arise. No only that but if someone does self publish and gain any amount of success they tend to get picked up by a publisher who will they push their book into even more market, since they proved able to get an audience. Publishers, like the film industry it seems, don't like risk. Which is the worst part really. So the issue in mind mind unfold like this: those who succeed in self-publishing tend to be flashy authors who are able to gain an audience of 'unserious' readers who are looking for fun with a book, while agents tend to filter out books that aren't both sufficiently well written (a good thing) and sufficiently safe to be able to sell it to a publisher who only cares about a return on their investment. In both cases, experimentation is left out in the cold. You see this in the film industry, with everything being bland and completely thoughtless, but due to the prohibitive cost of making a movie you can see independent films that try something different, though they seem to have to deal with strange subcuture mores that place restrictions on what gets through, but I know even less about that world. But you get what I'm saying I hope. If you go look at some of the small literary magazine even, the places where you would imagine there might be experimentation, its all very well-written, and completely soulless and safe.

>>17699853
You don't belong here

Outside Werther High, the rain-slicked streets are awash the sound of rolling tires. In the rugged mirrored pavement shines the blurred reflection of hues red, yellow and green, from swinging traffic lights hung high in the grey clouds. Damp branches lean against telephone lines dripping coppery petrichor. Roadside woodland conifers abound hills blanketed in beds of decaying brown pine needles. Streams of rainwater splosh down storm drains clogged with sod.

Ludovica-Clerica is a mountainous, upscale suburban township built on an island in the middle of sprawling downtown Santa Catarina that possesses peculiar hippie charm, many homes here having been constructed in the early modern style. Remnants of farms can be found in the more rural areas of the township, particularly around the bordering rivers that flow into the Juan de Fuca strait. Situated in the geographic center of Seattle, Vancouver and Victoria, Santa Catarina is characterized by its relative congestion and urban sprawl, and so Ludovica serves as an oasis in the middle of a concrete desert, not only for residents of Catarina, but for Californians as a whole. The hippie movement is said to have been born, or rather engineered, in these very green mountains as protest against the excesses of the third world war.

Roaming Main Street alone, passing water-logged utility poles and hopping over puddles, Summer reminisces, gazing down Tuesday Lane to her right, a small street where, on Halloween night at the age of eight, she climbed the meandering cobbled steps of a terraced lawn to be greeted, amidst bushes covered in artificial cobwebs, by the sight of a ghostly bride hanging by the neck from a tree, who was draped in white ribbons and illuminated in flickering blacklight. Every Halloween, the cool older kids, one of whom she had a crush on, danced to music that echoed down Main Street. Because she did not and could not know how to dance like them, she was instilled with a tragic sense of yearning that still remains, and also with a fondness for the music that she now finds herself obsessed with.

She waits to cross at a four-way intersection, looking up and to her left to admire familiar tall houses sitting high on their big verdant hills, with lawns shaded by dozens of species of trees and spotted by perfectly manicured bushes. Behind sills of dewy red and pink roses, beads of water collect on the dark mesh screens of bubbly windows, obscuring the warmth of glowing lamps and of tables topped with lace and family photos. Worms tunnel up through the dirt, and there is a frenzy of birdsong tweeting in the humid air. Ahead of her whirs traffic, engine roars carrying over lush lawns to ricochet off brick facades. She can just hear Abby remarking how evocative this atmosphere is of some obscure composer.

The crosswalk sign flickers on, and she jogs across the road to arrive in front of a local twenty-four hour gas station/convenience store adjacent an iron multi-purpose truss bridge that stretches over the width of the polluted River Willamette. She can see standing on the sidewalk that, over the gas station, through the chainlinks of a rusty old fence on an overgrown concrete-walled hill overlooking garbage bins in the rear parking lot, lies the horizon. The faraway Sun, setting red between the towers of an oil refinery, colors their billowing plumes of soot, rain having subsided there to unveil a rainbow. A raven watches her from a street lamp as she crosses the bridge, in the center of which is a train track and on the sides of which are walkways for pedestrians. She looks out past the railings thereof at the expansive blackwater surging below, which supposedly holds in its tenebrous depths a number of Ted Bundy victims, such as Rita Lorraine Jolly, who went missing never to be found. The way that the sunlight glimmers on the surface of the sinister Willamette evokes a beautiful loneliness that can only be felt in dreams of death, and that only the ravens truly know.

>>17699899
>Because every other general thread on this god forsaken website has a gag theme/edition.
Who gives a shit what other general threads do. The entire point of these writing generals is just to post your work, get critique, or critique others. Nothing more and nothing less.

>It would show that anime poster is in it for community building and the fun of writing, instead of artistically racing the next guy that wishes the general wasn’t anime.
The only people doing any sort of writing in these threads are again, the animefags. Everything else is just shitposting, blog posting, or asking dumbfuck questions that can be solved either googling it, or gleaning the OP.

/wg/, I think I understand why my sequel idea is so uninspiring and I wish I realized it sooner

I based the first book on my own desire to prove my worth as a writer. The main character is tries to do that as a warrior and ultimately succeeds, just as I succeeded at writing my first novel.

However, I intended to base the sequel on the struggle I went through after I wrote my first novel, where I felt the need to to prove myself again but wasn't able to and fell into a depression. The point wanted to lead to was that he didn't need to prove himself in the first place, which is a good point, but the issue here is I'm writing a story about depression and getting frustrated when it comes out depressing

How am I supposed to make this exicitng?

>>17699919
isn't this just the natural extension to how things used to be?
>submit shit to local papers, mags and printers
>try to make a name for yourself
>get noticed by a big name publisher who will push your shit out
if your not grinding to get a head out on the masses you're ngmi

>>17699853
looking good bro.
hope your story is going well

>>17699944
Did you publish your first novel? Did it get enough interest and sales to justify a sequel? If so, fuck off. If not, why are you writing a sequel?

>>17699853
Please don't eat me

>>17699959
>embarassed millionaire mentality that only writes because he thinks it'll sell
maybe he's passionate about the project weirdo

>>17699967
If you write something you're passionate about, it definitely doesn't need a sequel. Sequels are for sales.

>>17699942
>Who gives a shit what other general threads do. The entire point of these writing generals is just to post your work, get critique, or critique others. Nothing more and nothing less.
It's not necessarily who gives a shit what other general threads do, it's the results from what other general threads do. What makes them last a long time, what gets people to actively participate in a positive way, what would engage posters who would generally shitpost to stop doing that and write/discuss with the posters in this thread. I think and I've seen these threads be far more than just the /crit/ threads we used to have. There's a dramatic distinction between these threads and the one's you describe, which, again, would be /crit/ threads, which, as we both know, die regularly and don't maintain like these threads have.
>Everything else is just shitposting, blog posting, or asking dumbfuck questions that can be solved either googling it, or gleaning the OP.
I agree with this, but I think those things could easily be painted in a positive light. People joke about writing, give context to their process, ask questions they don't know where to find answers to. Googling leads to copy+paste blog articles that give the basic rules and platitudes, which, often, aren't the answer an anon is looking for. And again, as far as the OP goes, I think it deserves an update. None of the books have authors on them. Some anons have previously given opinions on some books that aren't good and should be replaced with others, new books are rarely added, the other resource links besides purdue, royal road, and screenwriting were links I found myself without vetting beyond the title and first paragraph. I just slapped them on. There have to be better resources out there, and I know for a fact other anons have posted them in the past.

>>17699983
It's supposed to be a series you mongoloid! The first book was supposed to lead up to something bigger

the fuck is wrong with you? are you genuninely retarded? Do you not understand how books work?

>>17699983
>have something you want to write about
>later have personal growth or new experiences that put old things in new light
if you're writing with integrity a sequel should be an extension of a work and its ideas, nothing to do with sales

if you're so passionate about the work, and the sales don't matter, why not reduce the two stories into one book? do you hate giving your customer value?

>>17699993
get a discord
you don't need to promote community engagement here. we don't want to the lowest common denominator to feel welcome
just make good quality posts so anons can engage with something other than shitposting. 4ch has always thrived off of exclusivity rather than inclusivity, stop trying to open the flood gates to 1chaps who write once, ask for crit and then get pissy and never write again
we have enough narcissistic bloggers around already

>>17699983

Based

>>17700024
>>17700024
Why not reduce both books into a single chapter? Better yet, just summarize the story in a single paragraph.

>>17700029
>stop trying to open the flood gates to 1chaps who write once, ask for crit and then get pissy and never write again
Oh, so /crit/ threads.

>>17700042
exactly
>Any progress on your novels?
is secretly an incredibly based gatekeeping tool. it implies that people in the thread have a novel and are actively working on it, as opposed to /crit/ which looks friendly to nonwriters

I won't debate the quality of self-published novels, but many examples of terrible authors frequently get posted in these threads and it makes me wonder: who actually reads these web serials?

I consider myself a pretty avid reader. My time is short, but when I'm not writing I'll typically read two novels a week. I don't restrict myself to critically acclaimed classics or anything, but at the same time I do expect a basic level of quality in what I read. I go to the book store and put down five or six books after reading the first few pages before I actually make a selection, and even still I never really run out of quality stuff to read. I can see absolutely no reason why I'd ever go to Kindle Unlimited or Royal Road to read some subpar selfpub when there is a functionally unlimited amount of vetted, quality-controlled literature available so cheaply (shit, you can get most of the classics for free online). I even enjoy a lot of hacky genre stuff (Night of the Crabs series by Guy Smith, for instance).

Are these just compulsive readers, like the people who joylessly click around on phone games all day? Or like genre addicts who want a specific type of story, told a specific way, with specific characters going through specific tropes, and the mainstream publishers just can't keep up with the demand?

>>17700061
Perhaps I'm just tired of my answer always being no as I stare at the half baked words on my screen.

>>17700079
>who does x activity that I feel is beneath me?
lots of people. many normal people even
everyone has their vices, some people read shitty pulp
don't be so huffed up on yourself

>>17700084
me too anon
me too

>>17700088
I tried to make it clear that I'm not really a snob. I genuinely enjoyed the Twilight series. My confusion comes from the understanding that these web serials are terrible in comparison to almost any other source of reading material. It's like someone is watching a shitty phone recording of a band's live performance when literally two clicks away you can find a professional-level live recording of the same band. It just baffles me.

>>17700120
you don't want people to think you're a snob but clearly you are to an extent
people smoke cheap cigarettes, watch shitty shows and read dumb pulp
there's nothing to "get"

>>17700120
>I'm not really a snob. I genuinely enjoyed the Twilight series
You're not a snob, you just have shit taste

>>17700139
>people smoke cheap cigarettes, watch shitty shows and read dumb pulp
>there's nothing to "get"
No, there is definitely something to get. Several things to get. First: I'm a man of the people. I stand with the throngs of simple men and women who made this country so prosperous with their naive faith in the value of hard work. I will defend their rustic delusions with my dying breath. We may live in two very different worlds, but we are united in our vision of a society wherein all men are born equal, although that world has been long in the coming and repeatedly thwarted by the underclass' proclivity towards incest and fetal alcohol syndrome.
Second: this is not the same as the difference between cheap cigarettes and high-quality cigarettes. This is the difference between cheap cigarettes and some shady handrolls being given away for free by a homeless man on a street corner.

>>17700218

>>17700218
>the underclass' proclivity towards incest and fetal alcohol syndrome.
That took a left turn.

>>17700079
>Or like genre addicts who want a specific type of story, told a specific way, with specific characters going through specific tropes, and the mainstream publishers just can't keep up with the demand?
I think this is it. It is also half the reason terrible fanfic can thrive, the other half being writers who want to write in a universe of someone else's creation without being hired to, with all the skill and creativity that implies.

>>17699983
you want me to take my idea that manifests in three distinct stories and shove it into one book because not doing so makes me a posuer? Some ideas needs multiple books. Especially depending on the genre. Rarely do novels these days get an unplanned sequel.

>>17700079
For me it's a desire to find hidden good shit, it's addictive. I want to find no name authors writing great work who no one else is reading, and I want to have their work all to myself. The fact that it is so hard to find only makes the reward sweeter when you do.

>>17700276
>savior complex
based anon
do you also want to find the socially maladjusted weirdfu of your dreams and polish her up into a diamond?

>>17700061
Oh, somebody gets it other than me, nice.

>>17700267
Your idea isn't good enough to need sequels, so yes.

>Any progress on your heckin novelrinos?

>>17700079
As someone who reads some of these things, I;ll tell you. I like a very specific sort of story. It's shit, it's paint by the numbers, but it's only told in horrible chinese web novels or 12-18 manga series that I've already read. This is how I get my fix now that I've basically outgrown manga and anime.
I'm actually confused at your confusion. It's just another platform for consuming pulp. If people weren't doing this they'd be watching netflix. People very rarely choose between reading something like Unsouled and cracking open Notes from Underground. They scratch different itches, they serve separate purposes.

>>17700301
seethe harder tradfag.
Enjoy going to your grave with an unrealized manuscript and heaps of potential.

>>17700327
>now that I've basically outgrown manga and anime
Moving from anime and manga to poorly written royal road anime stories sounds like the opposite of growing

>>17700079
I have anywhere about 200~150 readers who have caught up to most of my latest chapters, so I'd say there's readers out there who will rock their socks off to almost anything out there. I've also started transplanting my story on Scribblehub and I may get decent growth off there as well.

>>17700334
I'm writing a children's story for fun. You will never finish your series.

>>17700339
He's grown into a bigger retard than ever before.

>>17700344
>there's readers out there who will rock their socks off to almost anything out there
What did he mean by this

>>17700359
Read more.

>>17700339
I read Xianxia for the same reason I watch Kung Fu Hustle. It's fun and I like the genre. That type of shonen will always be for 12 year olds, and that greatly limits the amount of stories being told. I no longer find that flavor of story interesting, largely because it's exclusively juvenile. Not everything is about getting closer to Nirvana.
>>17700352
Please contain your embarrassing behavior to one conversation at a time.

>>17700359
I wasn't really sure how to word the answer since it first came off long-winded writing it out but it's more or less conforming to anon's idea that there are avid people out there with equally avid vices.

okay /wg/, what now?

Book 1 was about the MC proving himself. Book 2 was going to be about him failing to prove himself a second time and struggling to regain his honor before realizing he never needed to prove himself in the first place.

is there any way I can write this without it being a depressing mess that bums me and my readers out? I feel like I set myself up for failure

>>17700372
>I read Xianxia for the same reason I watch Kung Fu Hustle
That's like saying you read My Immortal (unironically) for the same reason you watch Stranger Things

KFH was a dramatic parody/homage of Chinese kungfu movies packed with in-jokes and a decent plot. Xianxia is trash.

I want to write an anime story but I want it to tell a meaningful and literary story. Is this possible?

>>17700393
Watch Pokemon. The real treasure was the friends you made along the way.

>>17700420
>I want to write an anime
just stop. for fucks sake stop. get out and never come back.

>>17700423
Cry more

>>17700420
>hasn't started
>needs encouragement to feel like his ideas are valid
ngmi

>>17700393
The second installment being a little dour has been the norm since Empire Strikes back and basically flows from the idea of the second act presenting the character with new and seemingly overwhelming challenges.
Basically what I'm saying is that the second book being a little sad is fine as long as there is a third book. What keeps the reader's emotional state afloat is the promise of a better outcome over the horizon should the MC do x.
>>17700415
Not at all the same. Don't know how I can further simplify this for you. I grew up on kung fu movies, I continue to consume Kung Fu content. Some of it is noticeably age inappropriate and honestly a little trite. I've moved on from this.
I'm not exactly binge reading Against the Gods. No idea why you're so autistic about this. I have no interest in justifying my consumption to an unpublished nobody, I just wanted to explain to OP why people enjoy that kind of thing.

>>17700393
Book three is obviously the conclusion of that generic story arc. The MC finds himself able to do something more and beyond his previous capabilities once he learned he no longer needs honor/to prove himself, subsequently proving himself and reclaiming his honor, even though he didn’t need to anymore.

>>17700444
the problem is, it being depressing is depressing me and making me unable to get excited about it. I have too much empathy for the MC

>>17700444
>treating autistic shitposting as discussion
a rookie mistake
anonymous board, don't get so wrapped up in defending yourself newfriend

>>17700462
Unfortunately Ive been here for 7 years and still effort post. I think im just autistic.

>>17700372
>Please contain your embarrassing behavior to one conversation at a time.
Ok sophisticated enjoyer of drooler tier drivel

>>17700479
where's your novel?

>>17700459
>I have too much empathy for the MC
honestly a good thing when you're writing shlop
just write what makes you feel happy and the reader will feel happy too. if your making junk food then the misery is just spice to enhance the sweet

>>17700469
I’ve wasted 15 years of my life on this Mongolian horse breeding forum and I still fall for it. It’s okay, anon.

>>17700459
Ah, I have the same problem too. Nothing I can say but just do it, and when you write that happy ending savour the catharsis.

>>17700517
drop the trip if you don't want to feel like you have to defend a name idiot

>>17700499
that's not what I'm trying to do though. I may be writing shlop, but I want to write coomplex shlop that isn't just a feelgood story

I need some way to keep both myself and the readers excited and invested, and recapture the magic of the original even if the subject matter is depressing

>>17700532
Stop trying to be something your not.

>>17700570
I know what I am. you can help or you can shut up your choice

>>17700592
Be in denial then.

>>17700393
How is this even a question when the answer is right in front of you?

>>17700531
Oh I’m fine, just testing it out for a bit. See how it runs after a decade.

>>17700621
"don't do that" is not an option

>>17700393
this all depends on what kind of readership you get for book 1. if it's just grandma and mom reading the adventures of proving the length of my penis then there's no reason to write failing to prove the length of my penis and feeling bad about it.

>>17700634
That's not the answer? We've told you the answer 3 times? It's write a third book? Your problem aint that complex hoss

>>17700652
He's a pseudo-intellectual.

Can a story be literature if all the characters are women?

Can uhhh duhhhh blub glub if uhhhhhhh?

>>17700730
Yes but only if they are very catty and passive-aggressive towards one another.

>>17700736
What if they all have sex together?

>>17700730
is it written by a fat autistic man with a predilection for japanese cartoons?

>>17700745
I'm not fat

>>17700748
Sure, anon.

>>17700757
Not being overweight isn't an achievement if you don't live in America

>>17700741
This is also acceptable.

new
new
>>17700770
>>17700770

>>17700748
the answer is still no. it will not be literature. it might be /lit/erature if you're embarrassing enough to become a meme.

>>17700764
If you ask a retarded question like "Can a story be literature if all the characters are women", then you're an American.

>>17700772
Make one after the bump limit you fucking retard, not before it. Delete it.

>>17700785
it's 301, what are you on about?

>>17700785
He probably wanted to beat the anime poster

>>17700791
>what are you on about?
Make one after the bump limit, you fucking retard. What's so hard to understand?

>>17700793
anon >>17700785 is the anime poster. that's why he's ass mad lol.

>>17700793
godspeed.

>>17700797
it's 304, this thread is over, im on to the new one now and to write my NYT best seller. later!

>>17700793
Pathetic if true.

>>17700798
Ain't the animeposter, but I fucking hate it when new threads are created before the old one hits the bump limit.

>>17700802
It ain't over until it reaches the Bump limit. What don't you understand about that?

>>17700820
He is a shitposter

>>17700824
Jesus fucking christ, we had this argument with the animefag and he understood it.

>>17700830
whats the limit?

>>17700832
If you don't know, you can tell by when the number of posts turns to cursive

>>17700834
new
new
>>17700770
>>17700770

>bitch about not being over bump limit
>bitching pushes over bump limit
Nice

>>17700830
Here you go, anon. New thread just for you.

>>17700842

>>17700845
>he says when it turns to cursive
>he really means italic
>it's a writing thread

lmao

>>17700841
>>17700847
Oof, yikes.

>>17700847
lol I knew the anime geek-a-zoid was behind this. weebs are snakey and wormy like that. they're petty things.

>>17700832
Don’t make threads if you don’t know the limit.