/lit/ - Literature

Tired of uncoordinated feedback from anons you may never communicate with again? Come on down for a visit with The Unreal Bro's. We've got a lot of people with works in progress and a handful who have finished projects that are now in revision. Come for the creative conversations, stay for the schizoposting. Certified tranny free since 2020.

Featuring F. Gardner from the Call Of series!

discord gg/invite/rSXFqgGx

>>17661047
Every single 4chan discord server is filled with christcucks and reeblackpeepos. They don't help with your writing. Go find a writing group.

/wg/, I'm starting to believe that what I'm missing most out of everything is a sense of approval. I'm feeling genuinely discouraged from writing (and all my other hobbies) because nobody is interested in my ideas, least of all me. I need to show what I have to get approval, but anything less than approval is just further discouragement that makes me want to crawl up and die somewhere dank.

I'm not sure what to do.

>>17661430
Why do you like writing?

>>17661444

I like creating stories. I like bringing ideas together.

I know that as a writer I should be writing for myself, but the simple fact of the matter is being ignored (or criticized) just feels bad. Nobody wants to do a thankless job

When I was in school I was one of the smart kids, and it seemed like everything I did earned praise. When I got older, the praise stopped coming. In reality that's because I was doing exactly what was expected of me. If I want approval, I had to surpass the expectations, and then surpass those expectations ad infinatum. How I percieved that though was that I wan't doing a good job anymore. I'd gotten worse and that made me question myself. because I doubted myself, made mistakes, I earned criticism. that led to feedback.

the act of creation is a feedback loop that's fed by the opinions of others. without it, the lights go out

>>17661531

First, criticism helps hone skills. Second, I'm not gonna tell you "you shouldn't live your life the way you just explained you do". I'm gonna tell you, the life you just described fucking sucks, and you seem to already agree with me on that one, and even then you still put so much effort living it.
Try other goals, find a reason of being that doesn't rely on anybodies approval but your own.

How do you write a horror story with a surreal atmosphere without it falling flat or losing it altogether as the plot progresses?

>>17661578
I thought I found that, but I didn't really. I reached a point in my life where I decided that all I needed was something that was already inside me

I'm bipolar. when I'm hypomanic, which is less than 10% of the time I am well and truly happy. when I'm not, I'm miserable. even the moments I spend quote-unquote "happy" are such a pale imitation of true bliss that I spend them in the agony of withdrawal. It's a high I've spent years chasing to no avail. I've tried raising my medication, lowering my medication, therapy, exercising, going outside, reading, watching tv shows, cryotherapy, sleep deprivation, everything short of hard drugs. No matter what I do I can't trigger that feeling, but when I get that approval from others it blooms inside me

what I need is a feeling, but the lesson I've learned is it's not something that can survive inside me without outside nourishment. in that absence it shrivels, and I'm left with something dead inside me until for one brief moment life sparks again

>>17661723
Then look for joy in belonging. Create or join something to belong to, a family, a charity, a group of friends. If you don't want to try something else, then trying really hard does seem like the best idea. Be it writing, or some other skill or endeavor.

Guess the answer you were looking for is this: yeah, you should write and just show it to other people, even if it sucks sometimes. Hope that helps.

>>17661723
You're basically a drug addict except your drug is hypomania instead of a chemical you can consume. I don't know the answer to your problems but >>17661792 has some good advice. If approval is what makes you feel good then try to be someone who creates positivity for others.

>>17661430
>>17661531
>>17661723
These anime weirdos have it worse than I thought lmao. This is a writing general by the way.

>>17661874
Yeah shit's hard, sorry for the off-topic. At least we got a few opinions thrown in as it was very obviously needed.

Now to get back on topic. What platforms do you guys use for feedback, if any? I have no idea where to get constructive criticism for the stuff I write, and I'm weirded out by shit like wattpad. I'd like to get a few different perspectives for some of my work, instead of it just being me waiting to completely forget my story so I can read it like it was something new a few months later.

I did it again. I wrote.

Let's try this writing thing again.

>>17661341
Well, we do have Christians and black bros in our server. But we actually do have dudes who write consistently.

>>17661430
I wanted approval when I first started writing. This resulted in a lot of pain as I attempted to shoehorn my natural tendencies into a vague set of almost-kinda-rules that people will swear up and down are made to be broken but begin regardless to screech, drop trou and shit all over you (and themselves in the process) when you break them.

If you write for other people you can toss out immediately the expectation of any consistent logic. If you write for yourself, you at least know (eventually) your own values and preferences wrt writing and can keep them relatively stable. The bottom line is that there are no rules. There are only the scattering aggregates of the approximations of other human beings who—big surprise!—have no fucking clue what they're doing either. They've just bought into the idea that the tastes and opinions a group of sufficient size approaches fact.

When people tell you not to head-hop in omniscient narration, what does that mean exactly? I thought one of the perks of this POV was that you had access to any and all character's thoughts at any given time?

>>17662291
I'm under the impression that omniscient narration is to tell the story from whatever POV, whenever, you want. Who told you not to thought jump?

>>17662291
Just make sure you have a really good reason for doing it.

how do i summon the magazine editor so that hell respond to my email?

>>17661691
get in the mood with music and darkness to write it. get out of the mood to edit it. be subtle and obscure. the way its written should induce that feeling.

alright so in my novel the protaganists have arrived on an island off of Cuba with dense fog that near mutes all sound and theres a megaphone creature that can feel the vibrations of the mist to hunt them down, so i got them running into an old under ground soviet bunker out of the mist. The bunker is where the soviets taught the locals on the island to build nuclear weapons and arm then for the soviets, so the soviets could lauch the nukes from cuba. to keep the bunker hidden they designed a creature taht would blend in with all their telegraph poles spouting their propaganda. heres the kicker, what would the workers have to do to make the nuke?

>>17662513
part 2
I have the underground nuclear bunker designed so the locals go in, they get changed in the locker rooms, they sit at the screen then they load the (things you need to build nuclear weapons) from the loading bay next to the port and move them down the conveyer belt to the wear house down stairs but I do not know what work would have to be taking place.

>>17662513
>The bunker is where the soviets taught the locals on the island to build nuclear weapons
This is laughable. The process of building a nuclear weapon isn't just assembling components like Legos. It's an incredibly involved process which involves the procurement of fissile material (you don't just dig it up), the enrichment of said material, and a bunch of other steps that I'm rapidly losing interest in enumerating. It's not just something you "teach the natives" to do—it's a process that involves and requires the resources of an entire developed nation—otherwise everyone would have them.

>>17662513
>megaphone creature
sounds like a bad sirenhead ripoff anon

What do you think of this pen name?

>I.M. Coomin

good right?

I'm writing a high fantasy novel, but my protagonist begins on an island of farmers. He's an orphaned elf and the only of his kind.

Christ, help me. I swear, the plot gets really good. How do I fix this intro?

>>17660864
Reached 38k words now.
>>17662578
Have him use whatever they farm to make alcoholic beverages with his hoodlum friends.

>>17662531
Ill just have russian cargo ships delivering the nukes like they did in the 60's done
.>>17662538
it is, Its only for one chapter and it opens some doors for me. Soviets built it to keep the locals in line while they get the launch pads set up, they surround the island in a fog so dense that most signals cant get in so they build an ultra sensitive sataliete that pics up an unearthly frequency, so the soviets lose control of the nukes and the creature. what I have done to the creature has made it more stick insect like so it can move through the bunker and changed the lore, besides that yeah it is a rip off of siren head. I also want to give it the greek "Ulysses pact" paint job but yeah, thats about it.

Can anybody well versed in latin tell me what "Behold the modern man" would be in Latin? I've seen "Ecce homo in modern" which sounds wrong and tried "behold the new man" which is "Ecce novi hominem" which I don't know is accurate or not.

>>17662593
>hey surround the island in a fog so dense that most signals cant get in
You're stupid.

>>17662578
Can't you start in media and then slowly drip in the start as a flashback?

>>17662595
Gallum

This is the opening chapter of the top story on RR.

>>17662771
Eh, Mother of learning is a good story, although the other looper is an annoying moralfag and I hope that the main character sacrifices him in order to escape the timeloop, I really liked the reveal of the timeloops true nature.

>>17662777
You've read it all? There's 100 chapters.

>>17662798
I got to the point where the main character meets the other looper and lost interest. He's pretty much your standard moralfag character, but it seems like the mc is willing to be amoral if it means to survive.

>>17662771
>Zorian
lol nope

>>17662598
cute, wonder why you guys are considered incels.

>>17662771
>Dialogue, he synonymed adverbly!
Cringe.

>>17662959
I'm not considered an incel, I'm considered a creep.

>>17662959
>you guys
Did you really need to insult everyone when you have a problem with this one guy?

>>17660864
i think the perspective in that picture is fucked up

>>17662771
I'm honestly trying to understand why people praise this and the Wondering Whorehouse everywhere. I can't even get through the first chapter

>>17660864
>Any progress on your novels?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTSGp4UdEvQ&ab_channel=JLOAD%21NG

>>17663130
>I'm too good for Royalroad
>I only read proper books

>>17662771
Reminder that if this met a lot of support, your story deserves a chance to compete too.

He's right you know.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbRxeJXpNOE

>>17663170
He's wrong about my isekai though.

>>17663163
Well, you got that right

>submit an excerpt for critique
>I got a new crit!
>after first paragraph:
"Wow. This is great. Sign me up. I’m in. I really do love what you’re doing. Did you invent a whole new speech pattern or is this just flow?"
>after the very next paragraph:
"Oh sweet Jesus. Now that is a wall2 of text. Ok, I did read it, all of it, but you lost me. I fell out. I’m sorry. I really wanted to go on the ride, I did, I just wasn’t prepared for how on-acid the ride was going to be. You lost me somewhere around “heifered inbrain ontologue inheterous.” I'm sorry for bailing. Good luck with everything. You don’t owe me a critique in return or anything. I’m gonna go find a children’s picture book now, see if it’ll help me shake the feeling that the reason I couldn’t appreciate your writing is because I’m too dumb."
>nothing follows
It makes me feel a little bad that people are getting filtered, but at the same time this is actually really close to the reaction I'm looking for. Granted, I'd like people to actually keep reading (or at least, a subset of "people") but I think I can at least be confident that my hook shows enough chops to get people to take me seriously, which is something I've been really worried about.

>>17663232
>You lost me somewhere around “heifered inbrain ontologue inheterous.”
what the fuck

>>17663242
What I'm going for is this sense of tidality, except the tide is composed of things like meaning and sense rather than water; in/out, wax/wane, up/down, etc. I've got a lot of ambition and am (in my infinite presumptuousness) writing a novel intended to be directly reactionary to Finnegans Wake.

>>17662771
This reads a lot like me, only a lot more jubilant whereas my writing is more cynical and sarcastic.
I’m not sure if that’s good (since this is popular) or bad (since this is also cringe)

>>17662965
>synonymed adverbly
My god, I'm going to use this. That was painful to read.

>>17663170
>protagonist gets isekai'd by suicide
>when he threw away his life it was forfeit to the dark lord
>transported to a realm governed by Satan, doesn't find out until much later
>breaks his leg within the first 10 minutes, can't walk proper for the next two months
>no powers, only the experienced from his previous life
>has to rely on his wits to survive, thrown into a massive conflict almost instantly
>kill or be killed
>girls range between hostile and neutral

Bros, I don't think the story I'm writing is isekai...

>>17663267

Consulting a thesaurus every other word doesn't make your book well written or convey an idea that you're extremely intelligent. You just look like a try hard.

>>17662749

>>17663313
I've spent my entire life hiding from my intelligence. I never asked for it but I'm done bending over backwards for people who have issues with what comes naturally for me. I really couldn't give less of a shit about whether people think I'm smart or not. My primary goal is to just use this one medium I have to express myself authentically.

>>17663324
based bored shitposter

>>17663324

>I'm so smart guys, it's a curse really!

Christ on a popsicle stick. Do you have autism?

>>17663155
lol this video.

>>17663333
I've got pretty much no desire to try to validate my experiences to you.

>>17663324
lol, please post an excerpt of your writing. Please! I'm dying to be exposed to your genius!

>>17663155
from the comments:
>LOL, I love how Brian simply ignores him.. My exact same reaction when my friends start talking to me be about the apps I've been working on for quite a while. Note to creative people: NEVER talk about the things you're 'going to' create just create them and don't say anything about it.
lmao

>>17663363
You're trying to humble me, and I can respect that. The person you're trying to make me exists only in your head though. I don't think being smart makes me better than anyone. But that doesn't mean I'm not smart. I don't even know why we're talking about this.

>>17663380
Not showing an excerpt shows just how implausible your claim is.
You either are full of shit, or you don't believe in your writing enough.

>>17663486
In my own defense, providing an example of my writing to someone who (by appearances) isn't necessarily going to be inclined to be constructive about it. While I do feel deeply insecure about my writing, I'm always happy to share it... just not in the context of a conversation that's already been demonstrated to happily devolve into personal attacks.

How do I pull off a sixth sense style plot twist that relies on the reader thinking back to past events and recontextualizing them when they are reveled to the twist?

>>17663503
Yet this thread is quite literally about writing in general. If not here, then where? If your ego cannot handle personal attacks from random nobodies on a Mongolian basket weaving forum, I'm not sure you have the maturity capable of doing even a tenth of what you pretend you can.

>>17663538
An unreliable narrator is probably the most graceful way.

>>17663538
Use a word as a trigger word, and every time you use that word the line after it is a big hint. Then the last time you use the word it reveals the plot twist.

>>17663543
I'm sensitive about my writing and like to do the best I can to ensure that it gets judged purely on its own merit rather than by association with the human being behind it. What I'm trying to say is that I don't think being smart automatically makes me a good writer, so you really don't need to eviscerate me to drive that point home. This isn't my first rodeo, and I know that my writing intent actually the object of this discussion—it's only important insofar as it reflects on "me," the person who has committed the sin of admitting his intelligence without qualification. I don't know how else to express this.

You've probably read my writing multiple times if you've been around this general for a minute anyway. I may even post something I'm working on later, I just won't post it in connection to this conversation.

>>17663595
>my writing intent
Intent -> isn't. Fucking phone.

>>17662291
>I thought one of the perks of this POV was that you had access to any and all character's thoughts at any given time?

Yes but it still needs to have a sense of timing. That's like saying "if all my jokes are funny, I can just tell them one after another". As you hop, all the characters must fit into the overall arc of the story.

Another notable disadvantage of 3rd person omniscient is that it is harder to establish a rapport between reader and character if they're constantly switched to another POV at precisely the moment when they're beginning to build a relationship with the current POV.

>>17663317
>sus
What? Speak up, you're on /lit/

>>17663595
>admitting his intelligence

nobody was accusing you of it.

>>17663635
I'm not >>17663313 so sure about that. He accused me of trying to sound smart. I said that if I sound smart it's because I am. If he'd told me that I'm just trying to look like my eyes are blue, I would have said in a similar way that they actually are blue. I'm not saying I have the bluest eyes of any living human, or that I'm better than anyone because I have blue eyes. I just have blue eyes.

>>17663659
Not him but sounding smart and trying to sound smart are two very different things.

Serious question, how do you justify writing when the most likely outcome is ZERO people reading your work? It seems to me that writing has both the least likelihood to succeed what so ever and the least reward from the creative process itself (contrast music, it’s a genuine joy just to sing and play an instrument, even if no one is listening). Do you actually, truly enjoy writing for writing’s sake? I tried to LARP as someone who did for a while, but in the end I couldn’t keep it up.

>>17663699
>Serious question, how do you justify writing when the most likely outcome is ZERO people reading your work?

he has no friends and family

>>17663595
Then it is exactly as we assumed. Pretentious, petulant posturing.
This is one of the places where regardless of what shitty beliefs you have, anons will suck your dick if you're any good.

>>17663699
I've already had plenty of readers so that's not really an issue.

>>17663699
a true writer HAS to write bro... the words need to come out..

She stared up in awe at the cloud of swirling blue smoke. At that moment her mind was totally blank, it not even occurring to her that the book had very clearly specified GREEN smoke as the sign of a successful summoning. After what felt like an hour but was in actuality less than a minute, she heard a distorted voice that seemed to be coming from inside the smoke and from inside her own head at the same time.

“FEAR NOT GOOD FOLK FOR THY GODDESS HAS...”, the voice boomed before stopping abruptly. There was silence. Suddenly the cloud of smoke vanished and floating slightly off the ground in the middle of a large patch of burned grass was something not quite human. It had the body of a human woman, with large breasts and flowing black hair, but with pitch black skin that was more like reptile scales. A long tail also swung slowly back and forth behind it. It stared down at the frightened girl with pure white eyes. “Are you uh... starving?”, it finally asked confused, the booming tone and distortion replaced by the voice of a young woman.

“N...no...” was all April could mutter as a barely audible response as she continued to stare bug eyed and paralyzed with fear.

“You summoned me, RIGHT?” it asked with a hand on one hip sounding annoyed.

The young girl shook her head silently.

“Well honey I didn’t come here for a vacation and you certainly don’t look like you need my help. So what am I doing here?”, it demanded.

“I... I...”, she muttered.

“YOU WHAT?”, it shouted back.

>no face for when you wrote something really compelling but listened to bach and cried about how sick it was and then deleted it seeking forgiveness from god

>>17663748
This is so YA. There's probably an audience for you on RR though.

>>17663748
>Actuality
why not just say actually

>>17663804
It's a tiny bit of a smut story I'm doing. What do you want me to do better?

>>17663805
Because I'm an actual diagnosed autistic tard and I use words like that in everyday conversation. I'll try to avoid it in writing though. Thanks for the advice.

>>17663699
>just to sing and play an instrument
Yeah, and writing a book you'd want to read is the same.

>>17663819
I don't think there's much to improve on except punctuation/grammar. The bar for smut is low and you've achieved it.

>>17663862
Considering this it the first time I've ever sat down to seriously attempt writing something I'd say that's a good sign.

>>17663748
Your dialogue is trash, and dialogue is the thing which separates mediocre porn from good porn.

>>17663899
Okay but that doesn't help. Can you give me examples of something you've written that has good dialogue so I know how to improve?

>>17663130
Because story talent and literary talent are entirely separate things. Not that I think the author of that particular story has either, but he must clear at least one of the bars for his audience.

>>17663720
Just for you:
>The shit has dried around my ass hole, forming a shit-wafer which might then be eased tenderly off living flesh, observing carefully the delicacy of the substance clinging clinging clinging filamentous, only slowly to release its hold on a bare-again sphincter winking into Turds' End, a recursion of sorts—O fecal fractal! I clean the dribble from my cock and hand with paper towels first, and then in the sink with an extra moment's attention paid to my finger. Paul's been paid, and Peter had nothing to do with it.

>>17663919
I could show you, but it wouldn't help you. A good story, porn or not, shows in many to most of its lines someone's reaction to something. Its quality is generally a product of how subtly and effectively it does this. In dialogue, a comma is much more subtle than an ellipses - I hope you agree. I'm not saying you should write "N, no" or something; I'm saying that there are more believable ways to pace your character's speech than phonetically showing a stutter or hitting caps. My own approach is that I write my dialogue without italics or caps and almost entirely without ellipses, and I only add them sparingly in editing. If I can't make a line work (that is, tell the reader what it needs to tell them without breaking their belief in the character as a living thinking thing) in the draft without those things, it's not a very good line.

>>17663988
>I could show you
Please do.

>>17664007
No, you defensive bitch. Take the advice because it makes sense to you or don't.

>>17664058
Lead by example.

How's RR anyway?

>>17660864
After a whole month, today I’ll finally be able to sit down for a couple of hours to work on the second chapter of my project.

>>17664128
>taking a whole month to start on a second chapter
Just learn to be a sprintchad.

“Your dialogue is trash” he typed with a satisfied grin, his mustard stained hands making a mess of the already filth encrusted keyboard. He leaned his enormous bulk back in his chair and crossed his arms, satisfied with another job well done. He wasn’t expecting what came next.

“Can you give me an example of you work” the anon replied simply.

Sweat immediately began pouring down his acne ridden forehead. “M-my work...”, he stammered to himself, beginning to panic. This had never happened before. In his mind he began desperately trying to think of his next move. Mom was out buying groceries so she’d be no help. Report the post? He couldn’t risk another permanent ban for false reporting. There was only one thing to do.

“I could but I won’t”, he shot back. His racing heart began to slow, his ace in the hole had been played. This victory called for a plate of hotdogs with relish. As soon as Mom got back they would celebrate his online victory.

“Please” Anon replied.

This was the final straw. At this he began hyperventilating and defecating uncontrollably. His XXL gamer throne collapsed under his weight and he crashed to the basement floor where he lay motionless. “M.mom...”, he pleased weakly. There was no response. She may as well have been on the moon for all the good she could have done him at that moment. With a final Herculean effort he raised a single flabby hand to the keyboard and with his last ounce of strength mashed his bloated hand against it. “You... defensive... bitch...” was all he managed before passing out from exhaustion. In death he would be victorious as a puddle of urine rapidly spread from under him

>>17664195
Too many grammatical mistakes

>>17664200
Eh, it's a first draft.

>>17664202
If you can't write properly now you won't be able to write properly later. A person who is building a house can't just say "it's just a draft", your fucking foundation is fucked up and you're too incompetent to build a house, stop now.

>>17664213
“Your dialogue is trash”, he typed with a satisfied grin, his mustard stained hands making a mess of the already filth encrusted keyboard. He leaned his enormous bulk back in his chair and crossed his arms, satisfied with another job well done. He wasn’t expecting what came next.

“Can you give me an example of you work”, the anon replied simply.

Sweat immediately began pouring down his acne ridden forehead. “M-my work...”, he stammered to himself, beginning to panic. This had never happened before. In his mind he began desperately trying to think of his next move. Mom was out buying groceries so she’d be no help. Report the post? He couldn’t risk another permanent ban for false reporting. There was only one thing to do.

“I could but I won’t”, he shot back. His racing heart began to slow, his ace in the hole had been played. This victory called for a plate of hotdogs with relish. As soon as Mom got back they would celebrate his online victory.

“Please”, Anon replied.

This was the final straw. At this he began hyperventilating and defecating uncontrollably. His XXL gamer throne collapsed under his weight and he crashed to the basement floor where he lay motionless. “M...mom...”, he pleaded weakly. There was no response. She may as well have been on the moon for all the good she could have done him at that moment. With a final Herculean effort he raised a single flabby hand to the keyboard and with his last ounce of strength mashed his bloated palm against it. “You... defensive... bitch...”, was all he managed before passing out from exhaustion. In death he would be victorious as a puddle of urine rapidly spread from under him.

>>17664228
>commas outside of quotes
This is just embarrassing

>>17664233
Oh you're a third worlder that doesn't speak English. That explains it.

>>17664233
I see it a lot in books, what's the point? Why do people do it?

>>17664239
The convention is that commas go inside quote marks because, in the predigital era, fonts were fixed-width, and putting them outside of quotes looked ugly. In the British style, they put it outside the quote marks because they use single quotes, and it looks less ugly with them. Putting a comma outside of double quotes is just wrong by any guidelines.

>>17664290
I just haven't been using them at all.

>>17664313
Completely retarded

>>17663333
*two popsicle sticks

>>17664317
I just don't see what purpose they serve, it's like
>"This is someone speaking" he said.
What does a comma add to anything there?

>>17663503
Jesus, you're pathetic.

>>17664334
McCarthy gets to break convention. You do not

Pedro leaned forward in his chair, the dim light of the monitor the only illumination in the decrepit hovel. The village shaman had given him the great honour of teaching English to the outside world by way of the magic box and he was determined to see it done. Slowly and deliberately he began to type,“Commas don’t go outsi...”, before his lesson could be finished a rat the size of a child burst through the tin wall and began frenziedly tearing at the wires containing the box’s magical energy. In a flash he took his machete and began hacking at the neck of the monstrous creature. The English lesson would have to wait.

>>17661341
>the atheist recoils in fear

>>17664341
Okay so you have absolutely no reason for why I should write
>"This is someone speaking", he said
instead of
>"This is someone speaking" he said

>>17664355
Break convention, be my guest. We'll see who gets published.

>>17664371
You still haven't answered my question.

>>17664290
>In the British style, they put it outside the quote marks because they use single quotes, and it looks less ugly with them
I've never seen that DESU. And I grew up on Enid Blyton.

>>17664375
He hasn't answered any of mine either. Maybe his 4th world internet connection is lagging.

>>17664355
The convention is the reason
I can make a good argument for why you should write dialogue like this
>"Where is it?," John asked.
But I don't do it that way myself because it breaks convention
I guarantee you you do not have anything worth saying that needs to be said in such a way that breaking convention is necessary or desirable

>>17664375
NAYRT FYI. But the best reason is that it is convention. Like it or not, your editor and publisher will set the format, not you. And if you don't like it, you can eat shit.

>>17664384
>>17664395
>The convention is the reason
This simply pushes the question to "why is this the convention", nobody is arguing whether there is a convention or not.

>>17663130
Because they are more interested in keeping the readers engaged than keeping their paragraphs clean. You will not find success in the Web-Novel world if you are trying to emulate what made traditional novels successful.

>>17663634
hes prlly a trny

>>17664399
If you want my (worthless) opinion? Consider the following sample sentences which is the current convention:

>"Dialogue," character verbed adjectively.
>"Dialogue." Something anything.
>"Dialogue," character continues, "dialogue."

When reporting dialogue, you want a period inside the quotation marks because that's the sentence the character said, and the sentence needs a period to indicate the character is done. This differentiates the example 1 or 2 sentence from when the character pauses briefly before continuing, as in example 3, in which you use a comma. This alternative:

>"Dialogue", said character.
>"Dialogue", said character, "dialogue dialogue".

is inferior as it doesn't allow you to use punctuation to indicate the pauses and tone of the character.

>>17664483
Eh. I'll just have to rewrite everything then. It's not like MAKING PROGESS was something on my to-do list anyway.

>>17664542
I'm sorry about that, that's just my opinion. The bottom line however is that whatever the editor/publisher wants, that's what you'll have to do.

>now if you think this is problematic, think about whether dollars and cents should be separated by periods or commas...

>>17664611
No, I'm in the wrong here clearly.

>>17662592
39k words now.

>>17662154
based

>>17663717
>he has no friends and family
I only have one friend and I had to kind of goad him into reading one of my pieces, after that he didn’t want to read anymore.
My family just outright refuses to read anything I’ve written. They get angry when I mention it and have shown zero interest or enthusiasm.

>>17664782
Maybe you should take your meds

>>17664794
?
What was schizo about that post?

>>17664815
I'm just thinking your writing has to be incoherent and incomprehensible to elicit reactions like that.
Also I'm just busting your balls.

>>17664819
Lol fair enough.
I’ve only gotten positive reception from those who have read my stuff (my boss, some people online) but for some reason the people closest to me have no interest.

I would not be surprised if this has already been posted here before, but I just found out about it and this seems incredibly useful to many of us on this thread.

Brandon Sanderson (I've never actually read any of his books but I understand he's extremely popular) has a lecture series on YouTube about writing Science Fiction and Fantasy:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6HOdHEeosc&list=PLSH_xM-KC3Zv-79sVZTTj-YA6IAqh8qeQ

I've also only just started watching it so I can't speak to its quality, but I'm pretty sure it will be valuable.

>>17664854
Anon no, not Sanderson
Anyone but Sanderson
You'll trigger people so hard

>>17664859
What's wrong with him? Again I've never read anything. Even if people don't like his books, he's a highly successful author who's been teaching a creative writing classes for like 16 years.

>>17664872
>What's wrong with him
He's popular, therefore contrarians HAVE TO hate him and get mad every time he's brought up.

>>17664782
Post your shit let's see

>>17664854
>thisisbait

>>17664854
You should actually read one or more of his books, if you're planning to take his advice. He won't shut up about them and uses them as examples, so it's kind of useful to know some of the stuff he will be talking about. It's also good to put his advice into context. I hated just about everything about his books and even if you hate him, you can kind of make out what not to do, then.

The full weight of the beast pressed down on him, its overpowering musk making him lightheaded. With every furious thrust it came again, load after load in his ass until it began overflowing and dripping onto the ground. Somewhere in what was left of his reason he wondered if the curse was transmissible by semen, before this thought too was quickly extinguished.

>>17664886
this is a small excerpt from what I'm writing currently, it's not edited yet

>>17662135
It’s called a fucking wedge cut. Jesus Christ. Ask for 3s on the side with an inch or two on top. Fucking degenerate nazis don’t even know how to talk to a barber.

>>17665013
based black man

>>17662108
why not ridley and kelnshorn

>>17664930
he's mega popular so if yo uwant to be popular..

>>17664981
paragraphs, mothership. It's not that bad

>used all his training
be more specific

lasers dont stream

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOQqxHKO-0w

>>17664236

t. Only ever read 'journalism

In literature, commas go inside quotation marks. Read a book you shmuck.

>>17664334

I am an editor, and people like you should be burned at the stake. Learn basic conventions before attempting an artform.

>>17664355
Because, dear retard, this is actually a single sentence.
>This is someone speaking, he said.
The point of quotes is just to clarify which part of the sentence is spoken. They do not replace commas or periods. You should treat them as though they don't actually exist. Your teacher should've explained this to you in the third grade of elementary school. I don't get why we have people in a writing thread who never learned to write

>>17664437
>Because they are more interested in keeping the readers engaged than keeping their paragraphs clean
That's the thing. I find none of that engaging on any level. It's boring and clumsy. So what about it hooks readers, exactly? I don't get it

>>17664175
I was busy with school and work, besides I like taking my time. If I tried to do it any faster I'd just spend the time I'd gain correcting mistakes and making revisions.

"I need a cock up my ass."
"Cum again?"
"I said I need cock, yours'll do."

>>17665022
I’m so white I wear bolo ties unironically. I’m just mad people don’t research things that they’re going to have to be doing the rest of their life. Everyone should know how hair cuts work, how to cook a chicken, how to grill, how a toilet works, quality of soil, how to improve their handwriting, how to communicate and use rhetorical tools, how to use an old film projector. It’s maddening people don’t try to learn more. Especially things that you are going to have to deal with until you die.

>>17665078
>if yo uwant to be popular
It also only took him a decade to pop off

Finally made my first Substack post. What do you guys make of it? Considering turning it into a weekly series:

>https://goodperson.substack.com/

>>17665412
>Routines can be good.
>Messaging is hard.
>It’s okay to like Drake.
>We are constantly bombarded by information.
>Put the book down and play some games!
I’m not giving you my email, Liam.

>>17665445

Lol, not sure I understand.

>>17664981
Use short paragraphs

Don't start out by writing your Great Novel, write short stories. You get better feedback and thus improve faster. Maybe don't write fantasy and scifi either, for the same reason.

That's the best I can say at a glance. You write like a highschooler, so I don't know, you might end up being somewhat entertaining 5 or 10 years down the line with hard work. Don't give up.

>>17665266
Try powering through chapters, 1.00 D and 1.01 D of Wandering Inn. I recommend these chapters because they are introductory chapters of a new setting and are more indicative of what makes the story so disgustingly popular than its first chapters.
You will notice how many story hooks Pirateaba fits into a single chapter. How the "magic system" is set up to be endlessly scalable. Most new chapters are mini-arcs with an opening and conclusion. The author writes 40k+ words a week. And the scummiest of all, Every mystery solved just leads to more questions.
It's a strange mixture of genuine passion and ''manipulative" writing that makes it so popular, and I've found that most Webnovels I have enjoyed are similar, dopamine extractors but with an actual heart somewhere in there.

>>17665665

What exactly is boring and clumsy?

>>17665665
This excerpt makes zero sense to me. It sounds like pure stream of consciousness, random sentences that have no connection to each other.

>>17665250

Based and apparently the only literate poster on /lit/.

>>17665250
Oh. This makes so much sense. Thanks anon.

>you are not (successful author) you don't get to break the rules like they did
This mentality is how you stay average forever

>>17666142
This. Most people say that because they assume that, because you're NOT a successful author (yet), you don't have the skill to pull that off.
Fuck that.

what do we think of the following """rules"""
>minimize adverbs
>never end a sentence with a preposition
>never begin a sentence with a conjunction

>>17666204
i'm on board with the first, i guess. the other two can get fucked.

>>17666142
There's a reason people say it. If you have a profile, you can get away with much more, since you already have a track record and readers will trust you. Rule breaking has to serve a purpose, and often requires a lot of experience. The rules exist for a reason. There's also plenty of opportunity to not be average and come up with cool shit, but still stick to the rules. If your stuff is average, it's because you're writing average stuff, not because you're not breaking any rules. The reason you want to break the rules is likely, because you're an arrogant contrarian. Do you compulsively needs to do things differently to compensate, or do you need to make things so hard for yourself, you get an easy exit?

>>17666254
You don't get a profile as anything other than a hack that prints money for publishers by following the rules though. High risk high reward

>>17666254
>footsoldier for the commodification of art
valiant defense

>tfw you have a scene that you need to happen and a pair of arcs you really like but they can't happen at the same time but that scene you need to happen depends on both of the arcs happening
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

>>17666204
>minimize adverbs
use them when they convey meaning that would otherwise be missed. same as with minimizing scenes or dialogue or anything in a story
>never end a sentence with a preposition
BS, especially if you're writing from a perspective that is designed to mimic someone's narrative speech
>never begin a sentence with a conjunction
see above

>>17666204
>>17666298
to add:
>"It spoke from somewhere impossibly distant and too near to see. Somewhere deep down, within and without, over and under and in-between. It spoke maddeningly and soothingly with words elegant and crass. And strangest of all, it spoke like me."
Or something like that. Obviously you could re-write that to obey the rules of highschool english, but you're throwing away tools with which to get the reader in the POV character's head.

I hate women. How do I express this in literary form?

>>17666375
By not writing and wasting everyone’s time here go to /r9k/

First arc of the story is posted online. First chapter of the second arc is with the editor. Going over revisions of the first arc based on input I've received.

Anyone here read Wish Mountain yet?

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/37998/wish-mountain

>>17666259
>a hack that prints money for publishers by following the rules
Bitch please, you'd sell your fucking firstborn to be one

>>17666536
Nah

>>17666536
It's not 2010 anymore fren. Traditional publishing is a meme.

>>17666536
Why would anyone go for Traditional publishing when alternative publishing is just as viable and easier?

I love coming up with stories but almost all of mine always end up being better suited for a visual medium. It fucking sucks.

>>17666629
Read more. You imagine visual stories because you consume visual mediums

>>17666561
$$$

>uh uh im good guys loads of people like my stories my mom sed so i just dont publish cuz fuck the man i aint no slave of the system break the conventions break the chains

>>17666715
You hardly make any money as an author in traditional publishing. In fact, the only authors who make money are those who write YA and other types of novels, the pretentious /lit/fags completely despise, fucking hell, they're lucky to even reach the height of John Green

>>17666760
Yes, and I'm sure writers in alternative publishing are making fuckloads in comparison

>>17667026
You can't make good money as a writer anymore

>>17667120
Screenwriters can

>>17667158
They don't count

>>17665321
>how to use an old film projector
Why did you throw this in here? I've literally never seen one of these in my life.

Did aboot 800 words today
What do you guys say if somebody asks you what you're working on and you don't want to tell them?

>>17667685
>Nothing, I'm working on nothing.

Are you that autistic that you can't even talk your way out of the most basic conversations?

>>17667700
But they know I'm working on something
And yes.

>>17667712
>But they know I'm working on something
>"Currently taking a small break for the time being, to see where my work goes, before resuming. How about you?"

>And yes.
Never going to make it.

is writing the lowest form of art
it feels like it is to me
compared to drawing painting sculpture dance music theater photography and even video games
writing feels more and more like a cope for people who cant do any of the above

>>17667685
>people showing interest in your writing
must be nice

>>17667736
Read more, I guess
Or don't
Storytelling is the most accessible form of art since you don't even need to know things about the world in general to do it, in theory
You can just say anything

Am I ngmi bros? Sorry if it's long (just think of it as only 374 words :) )

Red sundress performing a ballet in the wind. The sun is her halo, I feel its warmth on my skin. Frozen in time, he observes this moment. “Femme fatale to snare my heart, where do you lead me? I ask questions to which already know the answer. I have tried to forget. About this time. About this place. About you. But it’s not possible. No matter how much sorrow they provoke nor how much I abuse my body with these poisons, your image remained unpeverted. This is the tragedy of human memory: the things you wish to leave, stays forever and the things you wish to keep, fade like sand seeping through your hands. This path is immaculate, it melts into a sea of green besieged by mountains. We shall follow it, I’ll be behind you, silent in admiration. My face wears a strange expression, lips curl upwards fattening the cheeks, I have seen it before but I no longer recognize it. We shall find ourselves in a clearing in the woods where we shall find serenity in each other’s arms. And it is there where you leave me. I am lost without you. There is only one path out. A murky alley leading to a land of shadows, the ground carpeted with the crown of Christ. I stroll through, basking in the pain. I trusted you… that was my own fault. At least I got to hear to voice as you softly laid your lies upon me. I loved you. And I despised you. “Did it help you to know you had power over me? And how long was it before you grew bored of me? It was my own fault to share my soul with another, a mistake I shall never repeat. But let me enjoy this moment with you.” The image becomes animated, sights, scents, and sensations sever my sordid soul. Her laughter, like nails on a chalkboard to his ears, fills the air and hangs like death. Her slight perfume thrusts the scent of roses upon him. This is too much, he knows he cannot continue without turning mad. He stands still, watching her immerse into the greenery, the reel of the memory continuing to project unaffected by his choice.

>>17667685
I'd tell them it's a sci-fi space opera and drop the RR link to it, but I don't ever tell anyone irl about it. Once I had a co-worker ask if I write after seeing me write outline stuff on paper, I said yeah, she said that was cool and never asked about it ever again.

>>17667937
You’re not going to make it.

>>17667937
Never simp for women in your descriptions

The floor is a mess of cans, bottles, clothing, nuts and bolts, and open pizza boxes overflowing with pepperoni. Beneath the filth, however, she can see that it has been lined with a plastic tarp. The tarp extends up the walls too. "What the hell are you looking for?"

"What's with all the—"

A fire hotter than any oven sears itself into the nape of her neck, sending jolts of electricity throughout her body, which collapses to the ground convulsing. "aeiiihh!" her scream is hoarse, a stun gun held against her as she kicks pointlessly and raises her hands in a defensive posture. Kirsten grins, digging the gun in deeper, twisting it spitefully. Allowed to escape into a corner, Summer curls up into a fetal position and mumbles to herself, tightly shutting her eyes, "NO! No no noehuwhuh..."

Kirsten follows, and, calmly folding her six foot figure in half, hits her captive again with the stun gun cranked to the limit. "OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES!" Summer flops around and screams involuntarily, striking her lovely head against the hard metal floor. "OPEN."

"O-okay. Whut," she pouts, opening her teary eyes. Kirsten stands there spasmodically fingering the trigger of a stun gun, naked but for her shirt and paint-splotched sneakers, her soiled underwear being nested in her sweatpants bunched atop them, and her creamy tanlined thighs, thick like tree trunks and just as firm, emerging from soft cotton to frame dense, matted pubic hair. Her hips are wide yet bony, her abdomen taut yet fleshy, and they both direct one's gaze up to the outline of her pendulous breasts hanging indecently over it all. Having caught a faint impression of something off, Summer glances down again to witness something that her mind surely blocked for the sake of her sanity, "OH GOD!"

Erupting from Kirsten's pelvis is a semi-turgid cock, a carnivorous pitcher plant surging with blood and oozing, dripping poison as toxic as Kirsten's love, on her pure lily-white thigh.

She shrieks and frantically tries to wipe the cum off her skin, then scurries on her hands and haunches into the cabin to rest the back of her head against a black pleather console. "H-holy shit," she stutters, attempting to regain some of her levelheaded charm. "You really do have a dick! I thought you were just—ya know—fucking with my head or something when you told me you were an androgyne. But there it is!"

The woman, or, as her kind are called in this country, "wer," stalks forward, kicking her pants and sneakers off, the van rocking slightly with the transference of her immense weight, to stand over her captive's rapidly shrinking mind. From her pallid pink lips is mouthed a single curt order, "Blow me."

"Sure! But you aren't gonna—like—kill me after or anything; are ya?" Seeing blue electricity arc across the electrodes of the gun in response, she complies, burying her face into Kirsty's hot pubic mound, inhaling deeply the sweet scent of days unwashed lust as dried cum flakes off on her cheeks.

>>17668260
Should have just deleted it in its entirety and not rewrite it.

>>17668320
What makes you write that grammatically incorrect statement? Is it poorly written?

In stories that focus on beastial creatures - things like kaiju, dinosaurs, even gothic horror monsters, etc... it seems like there's a big tendency for human characters to feel like lame interchangeable entities that just act as filler in-between the action despite the reader/audience/player only being truly invested in the fiends themselves.
Does anyone have any insight how to actually counter this tendency and make integral, engaging, non-forgetable humans?

>>17668419
Try reading Serina.

why am i so bad at writing
i posted my story here and people said it was a total whirlwind of nonsense and they didn't understand why they should read about the main character and they said my grammar is horrible. i read and reread it and i just cant find the bad grammar and i dont know what to change. none of the books i read go
>this is the land of so and so in which X lives. X is a y and he is this type of person. One day while X was walking.
They just start but the people who critique me seem to just want the book to have a paragraph like that

>>17668454
It's time for you to stop writing if you can't detect your own defects.

>>17668419
nah, you're wrong

>>17668454
Try posting you're writing again? Maybe someone more prone to constructive commentary will reply this time
>this is the land of so and so in which X lives. X is a y and he is this type of person. One day while X was walking.
I don't see any issue with an opening like this, and I'm sure I've read some like it
>"It was in the good land of England in the year of our Lord 1681 that John Smith lived, a polite and conscientious man, and it was in the greenery of its pastures that he murdered his first whore."

>>17662544
At least make it believable. "Kumin" or "kumine" is a real surname as far as I know

>>17663942
Fake and gay

>>17668454
Are you ESL
Are you in high school

>>17667937
You write like fuckin primary school. Give it 10 more years (being serious bro)

>>17668454
Poast it again, I want to see how fucked up it is.

>>17667685
"I don't like talking about writing projects while I'm working on them, but I'd love to share it with you when it's in a presentable state." This works with anyone worth telling that you write. My wife accepts this. If it's someone less important you never have to actually show them, if you don't they will probably understand that you just didn't want to tell them and that you were just being polite.

Which one is grammatically correct?

"word.". or "word".

I don't know if it's two or one period.

>>17668702
The former

>>17668702
You can't be this fucking retarded. Even children know this.

>>17667937
>present tense

>>17668708
Thanks, that's the way I've been doing it, I just wasn't 100% sure.

>>17668702
"word."

>>17668419
There are a few ways. You can either make the monster the protagonist, which is very hard to pull off in a compelling way - I think King Kong is the primary example - or you can make the monsters representative of some unique part of your protagonist. A foil is generally effective because they, by force, drive the plot towards the change you want to enact upon your protagonist, which is what the story is about and what makes human characters deep/compelling. Even if the foil is a monster, they get the job done, and it gives you an excuse to include them. The side characters will either be or not be unique based on how your protagonist views them (as everything should be exposed to the reader via the protagonist, or at least in such a way that information you get about them is also in some way informative about the protagonist.)

>>17668672
>not husband
ngmi

>>17666561

Have you ever read a self-published book? Of course you haven't, no one has.

>>17668672
I hear your wife accepts a lot of things

>>17668849
I buy several every now and again.

/wg/, the people in my writing group don't seem interested in my novel and I can't tell if it's because my story is bad or because they're self-involved

>>17668886
Your story is bad.

>>17668886
Post your blurb and post the story. Chances are your story is bland and isn't convincing enough for people to keep reading.

>finally found my muse
feels good man

>>17668886
probably this >>17668897, if the group is about writing and even they don't want to read it, it's probably not good.

Post an excerpt of your work.

I kowtowed thrice in front of the Great Statue and heard the bellowings of the mountain beneath. The bald monk cleaning the statue seemed confused for a few seconds but soon returned to his deeds as if nothing had happened.

My pocket watch fell to the ground with a clang as I stood up. I pondered about something irrelevant as I looked at it, then decided to just leave it there, before walking to the exit door.

On the way back home, a pigeon shat on my left shoulder and a red-faced merchant almost ran me over with his carriage.

I opened the door of my shack and it cranked loudly after a few seconds. The body of the Junior Disciple of the Wind Spirit Sect still laid on the cold ground, I walked over it and my stomach grumbled.

I ate yesterday's leftovers in silence; it was rice and sausages. My stomach full, I decided it was time to perform another blood rite.

"Hopefully, this time, it'll work out correctly and I won't have to do all of this again." I whispered as I undressed and felt the depth of the scars running through my thigh and abdomen.

I slouched over the counter to grab the blood bucket, and began to draw the inscriptions on my naked body using my fingers. As always, I fell into a deep trance during the inlayings, and could only connect with my senses through the perspective of an omniscient bystander. On the first stroke, the door of my shack trembled slightly. On the second stroke, goosebumps surfaced on my arms, and not long after the final strokes-- the most delicates since they were to be drawn on my back, the wooden shack was almost giving in to the violent winds that spurred outside.

I wiped off the sweat on my brows with a towel and cursed as I almost fell over. The whole mountain was shaking.

"Ominous, right?" I asked the dead disciple. He didn't respond. The roof of the shack made a strange creaking sound and the disciple's clothes fluttered rapidly, as if called back to the violent whirlwinds.

I inspected the roughly-drawn red sigils on my body with a mirror and it looked fine. I hurried to lay down on the chalk markings I had prepared the night before and took a deep breath,

"Will you please let me go? If you prevent me from leaving again, I'll just use kind monk as an energy well, thankyouverymuch. [Transportation Hex : A Life for A Life!]"

Everything in the dark shack became visible as the markings and the sigils suddenly lit up to dangerous levels. The first signs of a successful ritual. I exhaled in joy and anticipation before the extinction of all of my senses.

In the silent void, all I could do was think.

Shortly after I counted to two hundred, I heard something moist. To my horror, my senses returned with the feeling of a deep, uncomfortable suction on top of my skin. Soon, my whole body felt wet and disgusting, as if it was engulfed in a viscous lake populated by giant rapey octopuses.

"Fine. I don't want you around either," said the voice of a child.

My soul was ripped off my body. And blackness.

>>17668886
Self-involved how? Is the story about them?

writing two pretentious college students arguing, is this realistic enough? Here it is:
“Do you know much of Plato?” he asked.
“I’ve only finished Dialogs on Love, to be honest,” I answered.
“Well,” he began matter-of-fact like, “I would expect that from your wardrobe.”
The zoot suit I decided to wear to the touring event is what he was referencing to, by the way. I suppose he was implying that it gave off that I am a romantic.
Keeping his eyes on the telli, he kept on. “But I was going to ask about your opinions on his epsidemotology. Having someone to talk to about that would be very entertaining, but if you aren’t read up I won’t-“
“I am not well read on Plato, not confidently at least.”
“You really should start with the Greeks.”

>>17668982
from a bit later in the argument:
“Let me pretend with you that there are not many female philosophers worth while. I will pretend that for the moment. Can you you give me any names of women that you know of in the western literary canon? Just that you know of off the top of your head?” I knew that moving the conversation into territory I was better versed in would help my case. “And don’t say Virginia Woolfe or Sylvia Plath.”
He took a minute. Or two. Maybe three- I wasn’t counting.
“I don’t remember her name but I read the book by that one author about the woman on an island that may or may have not drowned in the end. Her husband bought her kids macaroons.”
“Kate Chopin?”
“Yes? That’s the one I know. And a lousy book that was. The main character cheated despite having duties to her children and husband who worked hard to provide for their family, I mean half of the book he was off on business.”
I was visibly tired at this point. “Not only did you only give me one example but you could not name her off the top of your head, despite there being dozens upon dozens of female authors in the western canon of classics. That leaves me to believe your knowledge of works done by women in the literary field is slim which drives a hole into your argument in the correlation between philosophy studies and gender.”
I realized at this point that debating Claude’s antics was doing nothing but shortening my life span. I recognized Jordan Peterson and Schopenhauer back to back on his small wooden bookshelf towards the corner of the room and thought how striking my collection of Zitkala-Sa’s works would look on the upper vacant shelf in contrast. More than anything, I think Claude had wanted to spew thinly veiled inceldom the entirety of our first meeting in hopes I would join his line of thinking. I could tell what he was doing of course. This was not unlike most YouTube reactionaries that cater to young audiences in hopes of eventual indoctrination. Frankly I had spent enough time browsing r/incels for kicks before it was banned to recognize tactics, and it really did make my night hell. It is my fault for entertaining his notions, though. Every insincere gesture I made in hopes of keeping things polite invited him to further me down the void. The void.

>>17668606
i am not esl and i am 30

>>17668909
It's an isekai but a little different from the usual one. The magical world is a depopulated city that's as strange and mathematically twisty as wonderland. this is bad news for the handful of human children trying to survive there because most of the plants and animals are too surreal to eat and can kill you in bizarre and horrifying ways even if you try to avoid them.

The early story revolves around the main character trying to establish a renewable food source, but when things go wrong, the MC and his friends go on a quest into the subway tunnels to find the boundary between worlds which is viciously guarded by the frozen grip of the Mice King

>>17668945
no. frankly, I'm doubting myself enough already, I don't want a bunch of edgy chuds insulting me

>>17668982
Sounds like a discussion two /lit/ autists would have.
>zoot suit
>"I would expect that from your wardrobe."
I laughed.

>>17669000
post excerpt so that we can tell you what's uninteresting in your story or stfu

>>17669000
>I don't want a bunch of edgy chuds insulting me

If you can't handle criticism from /wg/, then you won't be able to handle it from real people in your life, especially if you plan on being a legit writer and getting criticism from people who know literature. Will you at least say what it is about?

>>17669013
He’s not going to post an excerpt. Need I remind you that only animefags in these threads are doing any sort of writing whereas everyone else is just shitposting or blogposting.

>>17669013
>inb4 shitty lulzrandumb tumblr (((humor)))

“Quick check, does everyone still have all their limbs attached.”

“Yeah, is there a reason we shouldn’t?”

Emm responded hurriedly with eyes as wide as dinner plates. “No. Absolutely none.”

“Dude, pull your veil down,” Jean threw in, “you’re scaring the hoes.”

“Uh, am I one of the hoes?” Kat asked.

“No, it’s me. She’s scaring me and I’m the hoes.”

“Qviet, all of you!” Rous snapped. “Zere are pipple nearby. Act as eef ve are being vatched.”

Off down the road by a boarded up storefront a curbside garbage pile shifted with the clink of bottles on tin. From beneath it emerged a thing from my nightmares skittering on six legs. It was waxy-looking, chitinous and it was eating a used wig straight out of the trash. A head louse the size of a terrier. It chittered as snow sloughed off the garbage bags behind it, and then it turned and looked directly at us.

“Change, spare some… spare some change?”

Oh sweet and sour wok-fried Jesus; a Homelouse. And I was having a nice day up until now.

>>17669052
Are you legit blind to your own faults? No wonder your writing group didn't want to read your story.

>>17668962
There's a lot of things happening here, and almost none of it has impact. The only thing that I felt had an impact was the blood scribing. It's obvious you're just writing scenes out as they come into your head.

Unironically watch Sanderson's lectures on YouTube because that's where you need to start. Or I could edit your writing into what I think could be good.

>>17669057
see, this is why I didn't bother to post shit. If I'm going to get shit on, I want it to be by someone who's sense of humor isn't just shouting the n-word over and over

>>17669064
I'll watch it. Thanks for the tip, anon. Feel free to edit and I'll read it.

>>17669068
What you wrote wasn't even funny, to begin with, so I doubt someone with a sense of humor is going to give a different response other than Inauthentic praise so they won't hurt your fragile ego.

>>17669081
anon, do you really think I care about your opinion? I've been on this site from a decade, I know exactly how shitty the average 4chan user's taste is.

>>17669049
>Need I remind you that only animefags in these threads are doing any sort of writing

This, and I hate it. If it isn't the weebs you get 18-24 year olds that post shit like >>17669052 (btw no wonder no one wants to read your writing, it's fucking trash)
and >>17664195,>>17664228, and >>17663232
>>17663267
>>17663324
>>17663359

The worst is when anons post a paragraph that took like 1 minute to write and they use 4chan slang and they say they're "working on their book". They read a couple of popular books and then they post this kind of shit.
>>17666453

>>17669052
What's up with the names?
> “Qviet, all of you!" "Zere are pipple nearby. Act as eef ve are being vatched.”
Who the fuck speaks like that, even with an accent?
I'm not qualified to judge the rest of your writing, as I am no writer myself. It seemed quite generic and felt as if you literally took jokes from YouTube comments and wrote them out of context because you found them funny.

>>17669052
>“Qviet, all of you!” Rous snapped. “Zere are pipple nearby. Act as eef ve are being vatched.”

This is the dumbest shit I've ever read. Like seriously.

>>17669052
I can't see the humour. I can't even tell if there's supposed to be danger. Even I think my writing here >>17648850 is funnier.

>>17669105
dilate

>>17669105
I (You)'d the wish mountain guy cause this is what trying looks like.

>YouTube commenter/ Zoomer memr decides to start writing.

LOL

Can I get the award for best writer since no one has commented it? >>17662108

>>17669134
>"Uh, am I one of the hoes?"

hahahha

>>17669121
that's your objection?

>>17669123
Okay, here's a better joke

>"Niggerniggerniggernigger" shouted kike-faced jim
>"wow, what a faggot" said tom basedly

Do you have any particular formulas or rules you adhere to? I don't mean an all encompassing directive that informs everything about how you write, just any specific personal insights that you find helpful.

For example:
- If my scene starts with the character on a negative emotional state, I strive to make it so it ends flipping to a positive state or vice versa
- Characters must always be on a state of wanting something tangible and easily perceptible
- When dumping exposition, at least make sure the information being delivered is visibly challenging a character

>>17669167
Fucking pathetic. Take your criticism like a man, you little bitch.

>>17665250
This is the only person who has said anything of value here.

>>17669168
More of a process thing, but I've started skipping chapters that introduce new characters. I just outline the scenes and go to the next chapter. I feel like it's a good way to get to know them.

>>17669179
ඞ

>>17669129
Is trying good or bad?

For this exercise, I tried to write YA.

>>17669428
I skimmed over Wish Mountain. His writing has improved a lot from the first chapter.

>>17669428
Good. it means he's actually writing and not shitposting, blog posting, or asking inane questions that a simple search engine can give the answer to.

I added this short scene to my novel. It's a character flashback to his childhood. (It's formatted correctly in my manuscript, but didn't feel like trying to SS and crop two pages together.)
Thoughts?

“See those ones there? The ones with the leaf curving overtop,” he said, pointing.

“It’s got stripes on it.”

The two spied the small clutch of plants from the edge of the muddy fen below them. Nestled between the mud and stagnant puddles were brown stalks that shot up through the ground clutter. Atop each one was a bucket-like mouth, long and slender. A wide leaf curved overtop of each, providing natural shade for the dark-colored shoots poking out of their tubular maws. But most enticing was the colorful display of green stripes that snaked their way through the deep purple of its form.

His father smiled. “It’s called a Jack-in-the-pulpit,” he whispered.

The boy stared up at him, expression perplexed. “Jacka-popit…” he mumbled, struggling with the phrasal term.

“I know. It’s quite a name.”

“Is it a flower?”

“Essentially it is,” his father responded. “But only a small part of it. See that little, purple spike poking out the middle?”

The boy squinted for a moment, then nodded.

“It’s called a ‘spadix’, and teeny tiny flowers bloom on it. The rest of the plant is basically just a shelter for those little buds. It keeps them safe.”

“I wanna pick one for momma.” the boy said, excitement rising in his voice. He pushed off from the ground and scrambled toward the edge of the fen, before being pulled back by his father.

“Careful, kiddo. Let me go get it,” he said, holding his son back while he slid down the edge. “The mud’s deep right here and it’ll eat up your feet in no time,” he said, chuckling to himself.

He reached over to grasp an exposed thick tree root jutting out of the edge. Once steady, he leaned down with his free hand to grab one of the maroon-colored perennials. It came free from its lower stem after a bit of tugging and twisting, before the man hoisted himself back up to his son. He handed it to Trent and sat down next to him.

“Pretty, isn’t it?”

The boy kept silent, little fingers stroking the plant’s small, striped hood.

“We’ll put in a glass of water when we get home.”

“Yeah!” the boy exclaimed, looking up at him.

“I’m sure mom will love it when she wakes up from her nap,” he added, ruffling his son’s already messy hair.

“It’s gonna make her headache feel all better.” Trent said.

“Oh, I’m sure it will, kiddo,” he responded.

A breeze blew overhead as the two of them sat there. Trent’s father looked around at the forest, taking deep breaths as he admired the foliage of a temperate Spring. His son stared with rapt curiosity at the small flowering plant in his hands, content with the little gift for his mother. It was his whole world in that moment, even as life shifted around him in slow, creeping splendor.

>>17669451
This is good. Can't complain about it. Now post the rest.

>>17662108
Pretty good anon. Keep working.
>>17660864
Tryting to get back into this again. How shit am I anons?

>>17669511
2/2

>>17669511
>>17669515
Meh. It's hard to be interested without a main POV. A lot of it just repeats the first paragraph with no-name characters.

>>17669001
>Sounds like a discussion two /lit/ autists would have.
I’m glad then. The MC is supposed to be somewhat of a dislikable psued until later character development. Glad I could make you laugh anon, sometimes I have a hard time distinguishing if I can do humor.

>>17669511
>>17669515
What's it about?

>>17669105
What?

I want to die

>>17669829
not before me you son of a bitch

>>17669829
Post your writing before you do.

>>17669856
You know he won't.

Is 65k words good for a first draft? It's the first novella/novel I've written.

>>17669893
For something to be a novella, it has to be somewhere between 17,500 and 40,000 words. So, you know.

>>17668726
What's wrong with present tense

>>17669903
So it would be a novel?

>>17669995
No it's way too short

>>17669995
The length of a novel hovers around 50,000-70,000 words. so yeah.

>>17669942
There's nothing wrong. It's an unpopular tense.

>>17670014
I thought Future tense was an unpopular tense.

>>17670014
What are the views of second person point of view?

>>17669764
Girl named Mary in post golden age climate impacted earth. Things are more scarce. Communities more insular, energy harder to come by.
Plot is such: In this post-monopoly America the primarch (emperor ish) is now chosen from a pool of randomly chosen individuals at birth who are secretly followed by television cameras their entire lives. After living unaffected for decades, when they turn thirty they go through a manufactured period of extreme poverty and then extreme wealth to see how they behave. Their lives are then cut into tv shows for the American populace to consume and from that decide who they want as primarch for the next decade. MC is a girl who is one such chosen

Has anyone ever tried writing in fourth person tenseless?

>>17670019
>The music will reverberate throughout his entire car
>>17670084
>xe has will done have had xirs now, but soon and not thinking of what was yet to had have come

I am cutting edge

>>17670083
Sounds interesting.

New Thread:
>>17670157
>>17670157
>>17670157

Reminder that if you write more than you read, you deserve to never be published.

>>17670019
I legitimately forgot about this. It's that rare.

>>17670038
Below third- and first-person.

>>17669942
It’s just annoying to read.

>>17670298
Books are for pussies. Go hit the gym.

>>17670158
Why is it that you fucks always create new threads before the bump limit.

>>17669437
>For this exercise, I tried to write YA
Reads no different than the other YA I read, so good gob?

>>17669437
You hit the right tone for YA but it isn't really YA if the protag is over the age of 19 and has those kinds of 'adult' problems. Guess that doesn't matter if it's just an exercise.

>>17670575
This, creating threads before bump limit is far worse than the anime pictures

>>17670775
anime website

>>17670778
yes? i wasn't complaining about anime

No one was sure when it had opened. If you asked the locals they’d tell you it used to be a bank. Or was it a drug store? “No I’m pretty sure it was a bookstore,” others would say. No one could quite remember what it used to be or who owned it or even who worked there. It was just “that donut place” now. To an outsider that might seem strange, especially for a small town where everyone was expected to know everyone and everything that went on. A new store opened and no one noticed? Was there anything in the local paper? Had a new family moved into town and opened a business? No one could say for sure. Anyone you asked would tell you they MIGHT have read something about it or they THOUGHT they’d run into the owner at the grocery store. The only consensus seemed to be that it didn’t used to be there and now it was.

>>17671294
interested against my will