/lit/ - Literature

>>17654592
> /lit/ - Literature

>>17654592
>white woman
jfc, finally

>>17654592
Nigger.
Ni-gger
Nigg-er Nigg-er.
Nigga Nigga Nigg-er.
Nigga Nigguh Nigger.
Nigger Ni-gg-er.
Nigger Nigger Nigger.
Nigger.
Nigger Nigger.
Ni. Gg. Er.
Nigger.

i got banned for a month but i'm now able to post 3 days later, why?
maybe the mods felt generous
if so, thank you mods, for your kindness

>>17654592
>white woman
jfc, not again

>>17654598
These threads have been going on since 2018 and they're the most interesting to read sometimes too.

>>17654604
Asian footfag is seething >>17654620
because he was too late to start the thread this time

>>17654722
I actually made this thread because I thought I'd throw you a bone, the >white woman comment was just a joke. Ingrid was arguably the most beautiful woman in the world, she'd make a great pop idol.

>>17654592
I hate being a doomer but I can't stop thinking about the ways the world is going to shit, or at least the USA. it's not like I'm the only one. The last thread had doomers too. I've always considered moving to some remote area where I don't have to engage with most of the ecological problems of today, but where would I begin with that?

>>17654743
She also showed her swedish husbands their places, cucking them left and right with jews, egyptians, Italians, russians etc.

>>17654819
Swedish women are simply showing the rest of the world the way forth. 20 years from now italian women will be just as slutty. Women the world over are practically the same, after all.

I'm on a Heavy Metal Horrorshow Hayride to Hell

>>17654825
Sad really. Italian and spanish women are the sexiest, but are turning thots by the minute.

>>17654417 #
>you need to figure out what you want
thats honestly one of the if not the most hardest thing to do for me. deciding and living with consequences is the close second because before decision you have the potential of both sides but you lose something after choosing one thing over the others. theres a disappointment factor too if you've choosen wrongly. So deep down i think that having a freedom to choose is much better than actually choosing something

Kpop needs a containment board

I was writing this post in a just deleted thread about transgenderism. The book I’m talking about is The Transgender Industrial Complex:
>>17654451
This book is good. Basically transgenderism is a testament to the power of marketing. No one has a natural impulse to spend half their paycheck on drugs to look kinda feminine. Advertisers figured out long ago (see Bernays) that desires don’t have to be catered to, they can be manufactured (also see BF Skinner). Trannies are therefore the perfect capitalist subject because they are completely dependent on the pharmaceutical industry when they have no good reason to be, save for the fact that their mind has been terrorized by sissy hypno adverts. Sound far fetched? Simply look at the opioid crisis. It’s now widely known that opioids were intentionally overprescribed to create a population of profitable addicts. Transgenderism is the same thing, an, in large part, manufactured fad drummed up by several large bureaucratic bodies working in cooperation.

this is on my mind
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtvhVcwRozU

>>17654858
don't be such a snowflake

>>17654592
I think I'm finally starting to get over my ex. I don't feel like I hate her guts anymore.

>>17654933
don't be such a nigger

>>17654620
Why did western asian males never develop an honor killing system targeted at whitoids who steal their w*men? t. beta hapa male

>>17654592
Probably the only person who could convince me to believe in God is Gottfried Leibniz. This is the only person whose intellect terrifies me.

>>17655007
Because they know it's just self sabotage on whiteys part

>>17654592
I'm tired of talking about race and gender dynamics in my literature classes. They're a component sure but it seems 80% of critique and discussion consists of this.

>>17655057
shut up whitey

>>17655115
i'm happa

I was walking down the street today and this stupid little twelve year old bitch was jogging and ran into me from behind, and sort of shoved at me as though I was in her way, The side walk was completely open, there was absolutely no reason for her to run into me and then act as though I was obstructing her. As if my presence was an inconvenience.

Little did that girl know that the one millimeter that she pushed me was about halfway toward me grabbing her by her ankles and smashing her skull back and forth against the pavement.

>>17655196
she's a kid you retard

I can't stop thinking about killing myself. I have a pistol and I keep putting it against my temple and everyday it gets easier to place my finger on the trigger and take a little slack out.
I keep looking at my phone hoping my parents will call or something and save me. Its ridiculous because I won't tell them how I feel anyway. It wouldn't help.
I feel calm now. Just need to pull the trigger. How did I end up like this?

>>17655057
welcome to the future

>>17655355
>I keep looking at my phone hoping my parents will call or something and save me. Its ridiculous because I won't tell them how I feel anyway. It wouldn't help.
What the fuck do you want? For people to forget about you or take an interest?

My only hope is the great war. Of course I will howl with broken nerves and perhaps throw myself out of the window in terror. And yet: I hope that all the air will turn to fire.

>>17655370
I said it was ridiculous didn't I? Its just the last barrier I need to move past. Hope.

>>17654795
Same. The amount of regret I have about indecision, cowardice, and an all-too-modern apathy in own life is almost insurmountable, but when I look at imagery from ages past I realize just how much we lost. Seeing women as beautiful as in OP’s image blackpills me so much, not only because it is unlikely that I will ever have a woman like that, but because she was a rare breed enabled to exist only by certain technological processes that would later rob many of us of our natural phenotypic beauty - facial development is beyond compromised now, even some of the hottest women you see irl don’t have structure like that anymore.
Seeing a woman like that should be invigorating, in truth it is maddening. Attractive women have always been first in line for globohomo indoctrination, and it is all the more sad to see genetically robust women throwing away their genes forever.

Doubles and I ask my student out.

What the fuck? Where are the Asian women feet? What's this shit OP?

Mum found the piss drawer again. This is is lads, im going to be kicked out for good.

>>17655388
Just talk with your parents. Give that a chance. If anything you can kill yourself later, theres no rush there.

>>17654620
the fans want you to make the thread next time...

>>17655388
Join the army or something, at least give yourself something to do.

I sort of hate having a massive range of interests and shit, I want to have that small focused interest in a few topics so I can spend more time on them and become more knowledgeable quicker. At the minute I'm rainman on like 3 subjects, and a journeyman in like 6. I wish I was just autistically only into writing, photography and something else (literally have to many interests to pick a third lmao)

>>17655133
Asians benefit from whiteness. Sorry but you’re not exempt chink

I can't stand the decay I see around me. It follows me everywhere. It's in our architecture, culture, food, music, literature -- everything. It's enough to drive a man straight into the throes of insanity.

>>17655394
It’s depressing. I’m talking to this cute girl rn but she can’t stop bringing up shit like Judith butler from her university class. It saddens me because I can try to entertain the discussion and cuck out by referring to Judith butler as “they” or I can just stop talking to her and keep my dignity. She’s a good girl and if she was raised in a Christian context she would be a good Christian. Most people simply follow the culture that surrounds them, yes it’s npc behavior but not everyone needs to be a philosopher. It saddens me more to know she’ll likely settle one day with some dude riddled with white guilt and she’ll feel unfulfilled without knowing why. I guess I need to get out of the city, all romance for me here has been like this. Any anons got any advice?

>>17655481
If you could speak unprompted for an hour on 3 things, that's really good, especially if they aren't vidya, pro sports or some tv show. Many, many people don't have any hobbies that aren't one of those, or drinking a lot.

There are a lot of failsons out there. My parents are always telling me about such and such (friend/coworker) who's adult child is a major disappointment. I honestly don't think they know anyone who's happy with how their kid turned out. Even if they have prospects or a stable job, they're not interested in anything or a fragile mess.

I like it because it takes a lot of the attention off of myself.

After nearly two weeks of -20 to -40 it has warmed up and we have been pushing 40 the past few days. It is 29F right now with a nice big bright moon, got the windows open, completely silent outside and smells great. Feels good to have windows open.

I think about a girl I dated in highschool every single day. We have a few mutual friends and end up seeing each other occasionally. She's still drop dead gorgeous.
It's my fault we broke up and I don't think I'll ever stop thinking about her

>>17654592
I do not care how many years has passed, I still mourn for the losses of Apollo 1, Challenger, and Columbia. I don't trust you NASA, I think you are imcompetent and impatient.

>>17655599
This phenomenon is really perplexing to me. I grew up with low expectations and I'm more independent than my parents wanted me to be.
But I grew up with a lot of kids whose parents weren't a complete shitshow who had greater expectations and most of them are bigger failures than I am. And I don't mean great expectations like "OMG young Billy will cure cancer" or "Gee, little John will be CEO some day", because their parents probably would have been happy with getting a steady job and kids. I grew up thinking I'd wind up homeless and I've had my apartment longer than most of my peers have had jobs. I'm beginning to worry living in your mum's spare room is a sign of a normie.

I am going to be famous and I'm the only person on this board for which that is true.

>>17654592
I wish i'd be happy idiot but im miserable one.

I was writing this post in response to someone claiming libertarians were crypto-fascists but the thread got deleted:
>>17654613
Libertarianism is closer to anarchism and communism in that they all want the abolishment of the state and then everyone just magically respects each other’s “rights”. It’s a sort of hyper-liberalism. Therefore a true libertarian actually versed in libertarian theory would never support fascism.

But all of these are just labels manipulable by the powers that be. For example, somehow “conservatives” became convinced that Reagan’s economic policy, which was directly influenced by Milton Friedman, was a good thing. So for now libertarianism is on the “right” but it could just as easily be moved to the “left”. To escape the public influence machine one has to actually read the political theory and make judgments for themselves.

>>17655791
no you forgot me

>>17654592
my dad died when i was a young kid, some illness he spent months in the hospital in a town hours away our hospital didn't have the facilities. maybe it was only weeks my sense of time and scale from that period is off. he would take me out hiking and fishing and shooting and then he was frail and bedridden. last time i ever saw him he had a brief second wind and came home for a few days, he wore a big fluffy night gown and played last card with my brother and me on the floor and let out a loud fart first time i ever heard him do something like that. then he went back to hospital and died there, i found out after school. i barely remember his face and voice. if i get sick i'm going to lay down in the woods or wade into the ocean and disappear.

>>17655791
I am already fairly famous, /mu/ has threads about me sometimes. I like to go there and spill the beans about myself and watch anons tell me that I know nothing about myself. I have admitted things there that almost no one knows and they just think I am some schizo making pasta, I love being an anon.

>>17655848
cringe larp is cringe

I decided not to go on /lit/ Mon-Fri so today is my first day on /lit/ this week.

It was a pointless exercise I think

>>17655031

>>17655850
Oh no, my ego.

How many books is it advisable to read at the same time? Lately I've keep losing and gaining interest in various works as I'm halfway through them or even a quarter into them.

I gave orders to attack

>>17655877
whom?

>>17655852
I’m trying a similar /lit fast desu. I’m gonna try to stay off til I finish the book I’m reading right now .

>>17655133
is that a pokemon

>>17655880
My usual regime is to not go on /lit/ before 8PM, but I decided to fast not because it takes up my time but because it takes up my energy and makes me a more negative person I think.

>>17655887
Yeah I think that’s with 4chan in general. I used to go on /fit long ago and I found myself becoming more superficial and insecure about things I previously didn’t even think about. I’ve only now come back to 4chan recently after a 18 month hiatus. Due to the current state of the board, and the fact that I have made a reading list for the next couple of years, I see no point of staying on here.

>>17655677
Bro I feel the exact same way about two different girls, it feels like I’ll never be able to live my failure down. It hurts so much. Sorry you have to endure it too. I cling to the hope that I’ll have something in the future.

>>17655929
I think it's still fun in small doses. It's better than any other online community, and online communities have become an important part of most people's lives.

>>17655791
I beg to differ

>>17654592
>universal suffrage
when will this meme end?

Porn is not much different than drugs. You can feel the chemicals flowing through the brain if you pay attention. I need to quit but I have not succeeded so far.

Last night I was masturbating in bed and when I came I got some of my semen on my face, I'd have gotten some of it on my right eye too if I wasn't wearing glasses.

>>17655978
It already ended when the votes for Trump weren't counted

>>17655874
It's different for everybody. 1 non-fiction and 1 fiction is common. I tend to focus on one thing at a time and tend to go days without reading the others if I try to do simultaneous books, although if I'm going through something dense it's nice to have some short stories on hand.

>>17655874
i read
>one philosophy book (the main one that I care about)
>one easier non-fiction book (economics, history, science, etc, I read when I'm too tired for philosophy but still want to read)
>one poetry book (1 hour in bed between 10PM and 11PM before falling asleep)

>>17655969
Definitely this community has been unlike any other due to the honesty that anonymity brings

>>17655874
I do
> 1 literature book
>1 econ/poli-sci/financial markets book
>1 theology book
>working through an anthology of western philosophy
On a typical day I aim to read 2 of the above for a total of 2 hours, and read the bible now and then

>>17654592
This girl and I met again after years and we hit it off. I wanted to be with her and when I didnt kiss her during a date when I had the chance, I was deeply remorseful and grabbed the chance next time we went on a date. She felt the same way about me. Even though we felt mutual attraction towards each other, for various reasons, I felt I couldnt do a long term relationship with her, which was what she wanted from me. I could just fake it and shag her but I would have to leave eventually. I wonder if I'm being too idealistic or moralistic..perhaps I'm crazy but I ended it with her. There's a chance I can grab her again but honestly I'm not feeling anything so I probably wont. Onto the next.

>>17655031
'we live in the best of all possible worlds. problem of evil solved. jesus was telling the truth'
yeah what a terrifying intellect

I want to leave my mark on history. This doesn't mean something as superficial as being remembered. It's really doesn't matter if I fail or not. That was never the point. Napoleon Failed too. Caesar failed too, and I will very likely fail too. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>17656175
assassination usually works rather well

>>17656182
thanks for the advice, but I don't think my destiny is in politics(even tho I mentioned politicians). I'm a mathematician in the making.

i would also like to be good and hard-working, but my parents were rich and my childhood carefree. how are you supposed to feel anything for your fellow human beings? if you haven't suffered at all. ah, even this lament is only a gentle song for me.

>>17656241
why do you have to feel anything for random strangers retard

>>17656261
because jesus wants it.

>>17656267
mata-te cabrão de merda.

>>17656274
i don't speak spanish, sorry. could you translate youe post for me?

>>17656276
portuguese, and I'm telling you to kill yourself, because you are walking garbage

>>17656241
become a communist like american rich kids

>>17656283
now i wish i hadn't asked you for a translation.

>>17656361
*audience laughs*

>>17656241
just go and see the world as it is, with all the goods and bads.
>After an attempt at suicide in December 1887, Gorky travelled on foot across the Russian Empire for five years, changing jobs and accumulating impressions used later in his writing

>tfw for me only diary writing is closest activity regarding writing in general.
that's just sad.

I noticed my dog was feeling kind of blue, wouldn't fetch sticks or chase cars. I started putting antidepressants in his chow, little blue white pills sprinkled into his bowl of Purina so he wolfed them down without any problems. I've been doing this for a while now his progress is easy to see. Now granted he still doesn't chase cars or fetch a stick when you throw it, no he isn't quite like normal dogs. Nowadays he likes to spend lots of time on the computer doing I'm not sure what, but its good for dogs to get a head start on that stuff they use computers for all sorts of things these days, the world is changing now after all, soon enough we'll all have little computers in our heads ha ha. My dog is very clever, you couldn't ask him say, what the capital of Montana is, the vet says he isn't good with questions outside his "interest range", but you'd ought to hear my dog talk, when he gets going about something on the computer why he can talk all afternoon. He knows all about the little bits and parts that make up a computer, he told me about the "logic" a computer uses to make it things will open when you click them. He knows everything about the British, what kind of clothes they wear and the tea they drink. He tried to talk one morning with a Cockney accent after slurping down his little blue-white pills with a cup of earl gray tea, not that he made much headway with that ha ha. He likes classical composers, he could tell you everything about one of them, Erik Satie. Did you know he only ate white foods, and ran away from the circus with his acrobat girlfriend? My dog is very smart, he knows all about things like that.
He plays this video game, that doesn't take up much space on the computer, when he opened it up to show it to me it was just this little box that shows up on the middle of the screen. My dog calls it "Oscophoria". You play as this little boy on the screen who is a magician, but he doesn't wear a tophat and coat like a magician wears, no, he has on this big frilly pink dress like a Disney princess. I thought that was strange so I brought that up with my dog, but he looked hurt when I mentioned it. There are lots of things owners don't understand these days about their dogs. Anyhow, this little boy has venture out into a dangerous world filled with monsters, that he uses his magic to fight against. The monsters are very strong and the boy doesn't always win, unfortunately. Whenever he loses one of their fights, he, well, I don't quite get this part but, part of his body turns into a girl's body part. Like, he lost to this big lizard-looking thing, and his regular boy's lips puffed up into the kind of lips a girl has. And when he loses against this evil wizard, his boy's body rounds out, and looks more like what a girl would have. Now I try not to judge my dog's interests, lord knows I got up to things as a kid that gave my mother gray hairs, but I had to ask, what is it about this game that keeps my dog playing it for hours?

>>17655848
I'm sorry brother, you're a nobody

>>17656410
If you like diary writing, try to make something out of it. Have you ever thought about writing a diary novel?

>>17656494
>diary novel
huh, never thought about it in that way. I guess it's that i've never read a diary novel in the first place. I dont see any potential in my thoughts, very minimal poetic style besides a metaphor here and there, for the most part it's just writing what i feel in a mechanical fashion. If you'd read it, you could say that i'm going about the same thing over and over again and you'd just shout "just do something already or kill yourself" in frustration.

>>17656577
It's worth a try, isn't it? If you're like me, you have to deal with yourself like a poor dog has to deal with his last pennies: shrewdly. You have to write what you can, if you want to write at all.

I overly fetishize writing and for that reason it appears to me an unachievable task just to write.

I am struggle to identify anything in this world really worth doing in my life but I know I need to find something because I’m doing now is just suffering.

>>17654592
>be me
>get an idea
>that's cool! I can sell some and make the money back, too
>make a bunch of stuff to sell
>always talk myself out of actually listing anything online
>start over with new thing
>repeat ad nauseaum
>mfw

I hate this

>>17656764
I guess i'll keep that possibility in mind. U feel like i have to read a lot of books, improve prose and vocabulary to even seriously considering writing as a career path. Thanks for the suggestion again.

For sale: Small condom, never worn.

>>17656914
Read and write. And when you write, don't worry about style, only afterwards, when you are done and proof-reading. You'll never write the way you want to. It'll always come out different from what you want it to be. You have to come to terms with that. That's not a bad thing either. What helped me the most was to accept my prose. It's not pretty. I'm trying to improve it, but I'm not worrying about it. What's the worst that can happen to me now? That someone comes and tells me that my style is shabby? Yes, I know. And? Do you want me to stop because of that? I won't. I want to write, therefore I must. I'm telling you this to blow wind into my own sails.

Fully thinking out an action, unconsciously or otherwise, makes it so I lose all will to the action at all. I only ever initiate stop-and-starts.

may i ask which e-reader do you use, im caving in and getting one

desu I often feel guilt because I feel don't deserve the amazing, loving and successful family that I have

>>17657132
im using 7 year old pocketbook

>>17656912
If you have all this stuff made already you should just sell it. Right now you're just wasting money, effort, and space

>>17654592
I love my cats. There are many cats like them, but these are mine.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GO_ZVKXcM78

>>17654592
This is the first writing I have done in weeks. I wonder if I’m going to make it?
Can I truly tear myself away from the slog of mediocrity to do something with my life?

The answer of course is yes, but for the fear.

I have to sacrifice my youth to a higher purpose or I’ll never be fulfilled. I don’t want to grow old. I’m so afraid.

>>17654592
I think that im losing interest in life. Im just endlessly browsing here or on youtube. Theres very little concentration on reading books and even then i can barely read more than 10 pages per day because my head starts hurting.

>>17656914
>U feel like i have to read a lot of books, improve prose and vocabulary to even seriously considering writing as a career path.
I don’t. I desperately want to write. In fact, I desperately feel like I need to write. The problem? I find myself, my life, and the world I live in to be so mind numbingly boring but I’m convinced that writing about yourself, your life is where good authorship comes from. I didn’t have a traumatic and troubled child-hood nor a pampered, care-free one. I wasn’t a rebel nor was I a saint. I didn’t come of age in a time of violence nor a time of tranquility. I’ve never been anywhere interesting, done anything interesting nor have I ever had anything particularly interesting happen to me. I feel simply that there’s nothing to discuss. I find modern authors drawing on authors of the past, like using Mishima as an inspiration to talk about your transgenderism or cross-dressing habit to be totally boring, predictable. Whatever could be said, has already been said. Whatever is left unsaid, is better left unsaid. How am I supposed to cope now?

>>17657321
We live in a mediocre world during a mediocre time. Truly, this is the end of history.

>>17654592
my typewriter broke, i just got it repaired. fuck.

i can still write letters on it which is all i use it for, but it was my grandmother's so i'm compelled to keep it in perfect condition. about to go throw 100 more bucks into this thing.

>>17657609
I feel the same thing. We've never went to war, we were not born in poverty, our parents are nice, ordinary folks, etc. These are all good things, and it would be extraordinarily stupid to wish things weren't so, but at the same time, this is not something that inspires creativity.
Maybe write fantasy? Create tragedy and suffering out of thin air.

>>17657654
>Maybe write fantasy?
Coincidentally enough, I’ve felt as if doing so might be one of the worthwhile things to write since one takes stock of the situation and really takes in the landscape, retreating into imagination totally is the obvious next step. The problem with that is even the fantasy is just totally saturated with replicating, machine-churning garbage and even here if we’re being honest with ourselves, a degree of imagination and life experience, which we admit we don’t have, is still probably necessary. I feel trapped in an existential prison where even the only outlet, imagination, has been totally removed from my cell.

>>17654592

I finally managed to get a cunt fired from my job. It took two years of her outright stealing from the company for HR to be able to get over her race/gender card.
I feel like I should be happy it finally happened, but in truth I'm just fucking furious at the entire state of this world.

>>17657609
Most writers have led boring lives and worked boring jobs. Post office clerks, doctors, lawyers, journalists... and yet they have written great novels. How did they do it? They must all have had a tough childhood. If you ask Goethe who the greatest playwright is, he will tell you: Shakespeare. And he will go on to say: The bloke is unsurpassable, sent by God to earth to show us how close we are to Him. That's what he says and then ... he writes one play after the other. Fully aware that he only plays second fiddle.

Excellent books are being written right now, never-before-seen works of art. You know that too. You cannot not know. Why do you claim it anyway? The sentence "I can't write books" is more bitter than "No one can write books any more". You have your imagination, you lump, what do you need life for. Start writing, you jittery, cerebral sissy.

And even if your theory were true, and no logically thinking person would dare to write a book today: well, you'll have to become an illogical person then. If you really have to write that is.

>>17657609
the pretentiousness of this post

>>17654592
I will never be as attractive as BukkitBrown because a lifetime of high-stress and effort has prematurely aged me and made me uglier than I should have been. I despise myself. Androgynous beauty is peak perfection.

>>17654592
China is Kampuchean

>>17654592
I've been blackpilling myself on the hereditary versus environment question. I've known that genes make an extraordinary difference in life outcomes, but I never really ran through the implications.

I've been reading biographical information about geniuses and it's indisputably evident that there is an overwhelming and undeniable genetic component. As children they are immediately and unambiguously distinguished from their peers, displaying anomalous capacities that can be explained by no environmental variable.

John von Neumann, the mathematician who one of his coworkers even described as being an evolutionary advance of the human mind, was studying advanced calculus with world renowned mathematicians by the time he was 15 years old and was treated as an equal.

Everybody knows about boy Mozart composing masterpieces as a kid. While not all geniuses seem to display child prodigy traits, and not all child prodigies accomplish much, the fact that some people are born with better brains has never really been accounted for in society's calibration of notions of fairness and equality.

Another thing I noticed is that some geniuses tend to be more plodding but consistent in their results, while some--often the creative geniuses--are less able to contain their energies.

von Neumann, da Vinci, and Leibniz for example all seemed to almost be overwhelmed by the force of their own minds, like an electric overcharge which could not be dampened or even controlled. So they were often scattered, starting many projects and exploring many ideas, but never executing on them all to completion. They were more motivated by the stimulating effects of discovery and novelty than they were completely developing their ideas once they came up with them.

Others, like the physicist Pierre Simon de Laplace or Einstein, was more like a precision instrument. Their minds operated like precision instruments that worked inexorably and systematically through a selected problem, correlating a connecting all its components with natural fluidity and motivated more by the pursuit of completeness rather than variety of explorations.

It just goes to show, the smart, the beautiful, the more capable--all have more or less won a lottery. Or course everyone listed above was given the resources and nurturing as children to achieve their potential, so there is an environmental component. But the fact of the matter is--and here is the bleak part--for some it is over before it started.

>>17658021
This is true.
However, why do you see value in being a genius? Just do the things you like to do and don't bother wih lotteries.

>>17657751
You’re no one. Sorry it cut sharply.

Is pedagogy included in the saying "those who can't do, teach"?

>>17658077
Whatever makes you feel better

the /lit/erary lifestyle is a childish fantasy and a few years out of university i feel like a retard for the hours sunk into all this bs

>>17657737
>well, you'll have to become an illogical person then. If you really have to write that is
By the time you’re approaching 30, I think you are who you are. You are who you’ve been. Even if the proper prescription is to live illogically, which is something I can actually agree with, I don’t think it’s a matter of flipping a switch at any age. As for the writers with boring lives and boring jobs, you’re right. I guess i don’t find many of those inspiring personally. I think you’re getting too narrow too. I don’t know exactly where it’s me or the world. Everything feels so carbon, so solidified, and so loud at the same time. I feel like we’re just inundated with noise and voice and yet we can’t actually say, let alone do, anything. Really, what’s there left to say?

>>17658106
>>17657751

>>17654592
I'm freaking the fuck out
I'm not doing to good

>>17658159
What's happening?

>>17658159
panic attack?

>>17658101
lol i mean i believed a lot of dumb stuff in college (like marxism) but still that is pretty bad dude. like you thought there was one lifestyle that unified all writers? wouldn't a simply survey of author's biographies have disabused of this idea? figuring out that labor theory of value is a fallacy is at least a little trickier than that, although any econ professor will tell you that but undergrad you thinks you're smarter than them

>>17658166
>>17658184
yeah. I don't know why

Spiralling into disgust again for the university system I can't get out of for another 5 years. Feels like if I do anything, move a single muscle, I'll lose this position and it will be all over. It makes no sense to repudiate it now. If I was going to bail I should have done it earlier. The only intelligent move is to tough it out until they can't fire me. But I can't take it on a day by day level.

University is the wealthy privileged person's version of an office job, it's a luxury office job. An office job is where perfectly ordinary people go to do minimal labor until they die. The luxury part for wealthy people they get to still feel like they're in high school, but with none of the downsides. Just like in high school they get to write childish papers on how they're helping the environment!! ^__^ until they're 35 fucking years old, they get to pretend to be leftist organizers, and above all they get to socialize and fraternize and meet new people and fuck new people all the time, the days are loose and loosely structured, there's always a brunch of meeting to go to. It's an office job where everyone gets to be a little manager, everyone has their brunches and their feel-good initiatives. Auaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuggughhh this place was designed for these infantilized assholes and I'm trapped here with them. I'm in a playground with adults playing on the undersized merry go round and I have to pretend it's normal and I'm one of them. I can't take another zoom call with self important 40 year olds presenting their sloppy typo laden high school paper on how the bus system needs to add purple stickers that say "Have a nice day!" so everyone can feel good when they ride the bus. This can't be real yet it is. More zoom calls.

>>17658184
Same

I have no prospects.

>>17658271
at least you get to use zoom, i'm stuck using god awful webex for most of my lame meetings

>>17658271
Guys with no prospects here. I'd gladly take your place. Wanted to work for Uni.

>>17658106
why is it so important to you to not write?

>>17658288
Why do you say so?

>>17658307
Funny how the grass is greener. I feel the opportunity cost bite into me every day. I could have learned a trade and lived like a normal person by now. There's something the university system does to you that can't be quantified. It turns you into a perpetual teenager. Something about a whole life structured around "writing papers" and playing pretend.

At least in a shit office, you play pretend just long enough to go home and talk to people you do like. Here the pretend is mandatory, you have to absorb it into your soul.

>>17658304
Same shit. At least webex isn't sending all your facial gesture data to the chinese.

>>17658122
We get it dude. You want to present as superior. You posted it once. You didn’t need to reply to your own reply just to echo it again.

>>17658311
It’s the opposite. I’m desperate to write. I just don’t see how or why.

>>17658399
>superior
God no. That guy should pull his head out of the ass and do something about it rather than whining about muh boring life.

>>17658410
just start with it. stop thinking around so much. even god can be thought to pieces. if you want to write, if really want to write, then write. it doesn't matter how shabby and bad. we want to write, not write well, just: write. reading your postd, one thinks: 1) you are a cephalopod, a thinking machine. 2) you don't want to write, you want to think, to think about not being able to write. ever thought about becoming a critic?

>>17658021
I've already made peace with the fact that I'll never amount to anything, it's pretty liberating.

>>17658021
i listened to a lot of that da vinci by isaacson and i still can't figure out what "genius" thing he did. he made a bunch of sketches of theater props that had no hope of working, did some above average anatomy sketches, and made some mediocre portraits that only became notable after a notorious heist raised the profile of the mona lisa in the early 20th century

>>17658555
How did you do it mr. trips? I thought the very same today when i was smoking and walking through the wet sludge in the outside. I think myself as a below average person in every category but knowing it doesnt liberate me at all, not even in "ahh, fuck it, now i'm free to do whatever i want".

>>17658438
But you don’t deny it was you both times...

>>17658552
I’m prone to being a cephalopod, yes. I don’t want to be. No, I don’t want to be a critic. I want to write. I mean that sincerely. I just basically think that writing doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Novelists write based on their lives and and experiences in the world and I just struggle to find a coherent inspiration in mine. Am I just depressed or something? Yeah, maybe that’s it. Either way, I don’t think it really matters. I could just accelerate into full on imaginative escapism, but like I said earlier, even then it feels like my imaginative faculties have been degraded in the world and I’d still just be participating in like a recycling of something that doesn’t feel really worthwhile. Surely, you can understand what I mean here? It’s literally like feeling you need to say something but have nothing to say.

>>17658662
I dont.

>>17654592
How nice of you to ask I wrote a poem for you


What I wanted
Significance; Meaning; Truth;

What I saw
Insignificance; Nothing; Eternity;

What I found
Insignificance, Eternity, Truth

What I feel
Nothing; Significance; Meaning;


How it started
What will happen
The message
The goal

>>17658683
>It’s literally like feeling you need to say something but have nothing to say.
i'll say it again: then you'll just have to bite the bullet and write about things that will never, ever be of any interest to no-one. if you want to write and not go crazy, then stop wanting to write well and just start wanting to write. that is humanly possible even for 30 year olds. maybe you will die without ever having written a single interesting word. ok. is that bad? it depends. we think of the greats when we hear the word "writer", of a melville and thomas mann. but for me and kant, if i may use one of your cephalopod relatives to help me, for me and kant the most moral deeds are precisely those that are right but not eagerly done, grudgingly, so to speak. which writer is more sublime than the lousy one who writes anyway? not for money, not for immortality, but for writing? for its own sake? which is not to say anything other than: if you want to write, then write. anyone can write, no matter how stupid, no matter how boring. anyone who has hands or can dictate or, in the near future, think into a dictating machine. to write you only need to be able to communicate. you can communicate, obviously. so you can write. so anything else is silly talk. unless by write you mean: be a genius-master. well.

>>17656010
do you have this in non potato quality

>>17654592
LADY GAGA IS AWESOME!

>>17658620
For me it was something that came with age, as I grew older I just slowly stopped comparing myself to others trying to achieve things to achieve things to become more like them.

>>17654592
I love Ingrid Bergman. I know all hollywood actresses were probably nasty hoes but she's so beautiful in a natural way. Tall, blonde, sturdy, nordic, with a beautiful voice and minimal makeup. Literally my ideal woman. I've been in love with her for years, ever since I saw Casablanca.

>>17658953
but im 28... it didnt happen. i still compare myself to others (and especially to people i personally know) and feel miserable because im unable to achieve even the bare minimum. I hope that liberation comes sooner than later.

>>17654620
The flat-faced gook had a look about her that made me pause. What was it about her that made my peepee tingly? No, I gave into the temptation of miscegenation once before and swore I’d never do it again. The more I stared at her, the quicker the feelings faded. She thin, flat black hair, typical of the oriental race. I knew she wasn’t Han due to her thick eyebrows—this both helped and injured her sex appeal. On the one hand, I’d love to colonize some 1000 year in the making dynasty pussy, but on the other hand the risk of contributing another Han soul to this wretched earth was not a risk I was willing to take. The koreans are often perceived as being a noble gook race, but this is certainly a bias one could only hold if they had never met one. It wasn’t worth approaching her and striking up a conversation. The library and rec center were full of whores just like her. Sitting through a conversation with them was not worth the two minutes of pleasure I’d get with this human sex toy. I quickly became disgusted, her small black nostrils were too reminiscent of her eyes. Her lips were thin and red, making her resemble some Heian period Ukiyo-e painting, but it was clear she wasn’t Japanese—they still all look relatively the same to me. I laughed a bit aloud to myself. The closer I looked, the more apparent it was that she used lightening skin cream. I can’t blame her for wanting to be white, but I wasn’t going to be complacent in her self-hatred. Or was I? Maybe I would fuck her, but I would never waste my seed on a whore like that. She probably read about Microchimeraism, the more white cocks she took, the whiter her progeny would be. I made a mental note to pray for the poor sap who would be chained to her for the rest of his worldly life and walked away. I was getting hungry and had been staring this whorish chink for far too long. Maybe I’d try to stop at that banh mi shop right off campus. Jungle gooks tend to be easier and less needy anyway.

Friedrich Zöllner's unscientific insights about a correlation between four-dimensional space and spiritualism. Transcendental Physics, his masterpiece.

>>17658048
Exactly!

I dont know how people come to believe in God. I did out of necessity: when youre fucked you start loooking in new places. But for people who arent fucked, who just have lives and putter on. what could convince them? Are they fine without religion? With a life unexamined?

I'm starting to realize that inspiration is a two-step process

first, I need an idea that sparks interest inside me. Then I need to share that idea and get recognition and approval from it, which keeps the excitement going, allowing me to come up with another idea

I keep doing this until I stop getting approval, at which point I crash and become depressed, preventing me from coming up with ideas in the first place.

>hours of anxiety inducing work to do
>already late
>panic attack
>already taking form of both manic and depressed at same time
>will likely last all day
>restrain myself from taking leftover weak codeine i've been abusing
>have a shot of booze instead
>just makes me tired and groggy
>triggers migraine
>take only pills that work for migraine
>they have caffeine
>now manic and depressed and groggy and tired at same time
>migraine not going away

I crave sweets so much lately. I’ve considered going to the convenience store on the corner to get a milk shake. I’m a 20-something man. Wouldn’t it be weird for a 20-something man to get a milkshake alone on a Saturday? What I really want is a box of donuts.

>>17655481
I’m awkward and weird but not that bad. I feel like if I just really focused on a few subjects and had fully developed opions and knowledge about them, I would have friends and respect. At least from a few people. As it is now, there’s no substance.

>>17659643
Do I got it the convenience store or not?

i'm so so so tired of my lazy subordinates that i am almost to the point of tears. i am so fed-up and they don't really respond to any kind of feedback beyond rolling over and apologizing profusely, only to be tardy in reporting back to me with work again, and again, and again, and again. it has been a week-long saga culminating in me having to do their work because they do it WRONG when they actually *do* the work, and when i tell them so they get strangely defensive or just don't respond because they don't care. now that the work is done several people want feedback on the work they submitted and i have just found that nearly everyone under me has provided TOTALLY insubstantial commentary if any at all AND NOW I HAVE TO READ ALL OF THESE FUCKING PAPERS IN ORDER TO RELEASE ACTUAL FUCKING COMMENTS! ACADEMIA IS SUCH A HEAP OF FUCKING GARBAGE!

>>17660033
If ALL of your subordinates are doing something wrong then you really need to take a look at what you’re doing wrong as a superior before you criticize them.

Every fucking idea in my fucking head sucks ass and I should probably kill myself to avoid infesting the world with them. Fuck this, gfuck me, fuck everything.

God. if you're listening to this you sick piece of shit fuck off and give me a fucking reason to stay alive. Right now I just want to kill myself so I can come up there and beat the shit out of your personally

>>17660063
i am a fake superior basically in that i only get to dole out work that i also do. it is like a dumb-fake-academic kind of superiority that comes with no real power and they recognize that, so i end up shouldering their work too because I still report to a professor. -___-

>>17660068
Nigga chill

>>17654592
A combination of being a 28 year-old virgin, having some bad dating and ldr experiences, and coming on here too much is starting to make me very pessimistic about relations between men and women in the 21st century and mildly misogynistic.
I don't wanna go down that path because I feel like it'll ruin my ability to ever form a meaningful relationship with a woman who isn't related to me by blood, but at the same time, all my beliefs about women strike me as being factual.

>>17660124
fuck no I won't chill. I just want to be fucking hypomanic right fucking now but nothing's fucking working! Therapy doesn't work, antidepressants don't work, exercise is painful, everything outside is fucking ugly, not that I can fucking see it because my fucking glasses fog up, lowering my antipsychotics has made me fucking psychotic instead of hypomanic, and my last ditch idea to share some of my creative ideas and get positive feedback? TURNS OUT EVERY FUCKING ONE OF MY FUCKING SHITTY GODDAMN IDEAS FUCKING SUCKS

Fuck everything.

>>17660068
SIR I'M GOING TO HAVE TO ASK YOU TO RELAX AND REMEMBER THAT GOD LOVES YOU

>>17660138
Just quit your job and hang out in Southeast Asia for a few months. I’m not joking.

>>17660155
shoot my fuckface. fucking do it!

Have you ever thought about how phrases like "c*vid-safe" and "s*cial d*stancing" are literal magical incantations? It all flows forward from MKULTRA hypnosis techniques. You are living through the largest psy-op the world has ever seen.

We're tenting tonight on the old camp ground,
Give us a song to cheer
Our weary hearts, a song of home
And friends we love so dear.

Many are the hearts that are weary tonight,
Wishing for the war to cease;
Many are the hearts looking for the right
To see the dawn of peace.
Tenting tonight, tenting tonight,
Tenting on the old camp ground.

We've been tenting tonight on the old camp-ground,
Thinking of days gone by,
Of the loved ones at home that gave us the hand,
And the tear that said, "Good-bye!"

The lone wife kneels and prays with a sigh
That God his watch will keep
O'er the dear one away and the little dears nigh,
In the trundle bed fast asleep.

We are tenting tonight on the old camp ground.
The fires are flickering low.
Still are the sleepers that lie around,
As the sentinels come and go.

Alas for those comrades of days gone by
Whose forms are missed tonight.
Alas for the young and true who lie
Where the battle flag braved the fight.

No more on march or field of strife
Shall they lie so tired and worn,
No rouse again to hope and life
When the sound of drums beat at morn.

We are tired of war on the old camp ground,
Many are dead and gone,
Of the brave and true who've left their homes,

We've been fighting today on the old camp ground,
Many are lying near;
Some are dead, and some are dying,
Many are in tears.

Many are the hearts that are weary tonight,
Wishing for the war to cease;
Many are the hearts looking for the right,
To see the dawn of peace.
Dying tonight, dying tonight,
Dying on the old camp ground

I genuinely like doing manual labor and am regretting going to college because I could have had a shit pay but low stress life without debt doing it instead of college. It's clear that I will never afford a family even with a degree so I might as well have just started working on the farm after highschool making nothing instead of spending 4 years and a shitload of money and stress to make slightly more than nothing, but still not enough to do anything different. I feel so directionless, I came out of depression a few months ago and the hope for the future hurts I want to be apathetic again sometimes.

>>17660304
I dropped out of college and have been doing manual labor, traveling and reading ever since. Anyone with a degree treats me like shit because I don’t have one. Anyone without one treats me like shit because I’m not interested in the same things as them. (Sports, generic films, working out.) It’s a curse. I don’t necessarily wish I had finished. I enjoy manual labor. I feel out of place everywhere.

>>17654592
Women are tedious creatures and I selfishly want to live my life doing exactly what I want; unhindered by the expectations and desires of a mate. I never want to date again and I never want to feel pity for a woman again.

>>17660363
>I feel out of place everywhere
I feel this too, I'm good at talking to all kinds of people and I'm well liked at work with other laborers but I feel like I'm putting on a mask everytime. Too much of a redneck for the educated people too educated for the rednecks. I considered doing agricultural extension because I can kind of bridge the two groups but I was disillusioned after working in an extension office with all the paperwork and meetings and state shit for low pay. I just want to clock in and clock out and never have to give a thought about work when I'm at home.

>>17660410
i wish those jobs still existed, one of my favorite summers was working in a warehouse for a french furniture company, not sure if they went out of business but they closed that location after the 2008 crash. they would open the loading dock doors so there was always sun and fresh air coming in, the crew were a nice cross section of proletarians: proud family man, dreadlock stoner dude, motorcycle muscle guy, ancient grandpa with nothing better to do, etc. i ended up investing most of the money in tech stocks, now 15 years later my portfolio looking ok

>>17659606
That sounds like hell. Hope you feel better soon, anon.

>>17660510
It’s definitely like this in Alaska but there are many downsides. And it’s been becoming more and more like Amazon warehouses every year.

>>17658271
Have you seen Utena?

Other than that. I agree 100% with you. I wanted to be a STEM researcher, but once the pandemic hit, it became obvious that academics are mostly hostages from the status quo, held upon the position of giving zoom lectures ad infinitum and publishing papers for the rest of eternity, they really have faith in that system, which they have been doing since WWII. It pays, it is a job, universities print a lot of money, you can't turn off the switch so easily. Universities have been there for a hundred years, they will outlive us. I am not agaisnt education. I just think that perhaps life gets interesting outside of these big structures. I don't have a job and probably blown out my scientific career prospects by outstraight saying I couldn't handle anymore holding the lie. Now I must life by what I preach, it will probably take sometime to get used to go on in life without an umbrella. Hopefully I won't starve.

>>17660386
You and me both, brother.

>>17659606
>abusing codeine, alcohol, and caffeine pills
Just smoke weed bro

>>17660386
I hate how biology is a innescape current we have to swim against.
We have to swim against the current of biological desire to mate.
And even if you decide to go with the flow you're still battered by the rocks in the river that is sexually dymorphic psychology.
Women rarely ever bother swimming against the current of the biologically influenced psychology that makes them whorish.

>>17660363
I did the same and haven't had any problems. A lot of my closest friends are from the limited time I spent in college, and most of them finished their degrees. People I've befriended since dropping out run the gamut, from not finishing high school to having doctorates. My wife, who I met six years after dropping out, has two masters degrees and most of her friends have a similar education. I don't care about sports, movies, or going to the gym. Sorry everyone around you sucks.

The most autistic thing this board has ever made me do was measure my own dick.

It was kind of a pain, too, because I had to work myself up enough to get fully erect. And then while I was fully horny I had to maintain the presence of mind to use the tape measurer.

I want a brooding lit bf so bad that it makes me viscerally cringe

>>17660187
I'm not sure I'd have the same respect for myself if I'm reading you correctly.

Today is the first day I've been able to enjoy something I wrote.
It makes me sad for some reason I don't understand, though.

>>17661193
>work myself up enough to get fully erect
ngmi

There's a chance I'm doing the most retarded shit ever and the possibility itself is terrifying. Am I just trying to find a piece of media so incredible that it makes my life enjoyable, as if a work of sufficient caliber will magically get rid of my depression, my inability to find pure joy?

>>17661289
can i fuck your bussy bro because that is literally me

>>17661193
How lo g

Snow - Informer is a song about eating ass

>>17654592
ssri withdrawal is hell

>>17661006
Thanks for giving me hope. I just left where I was living to a new place. I pray things will be different here.

>>17661307
I’m not talking about prostitutes. But I can understand why you wouldn’t want do this.

I'm a natural born thrill seeker. I can't stand a single boring moment. I need to be at gigs, I need to be imbibing, taking drugs, fucking people I shouldn't fuck. I can't stand to sit still. I want to see the world.

>>17661193
I love you for this post, anon

>>17661817
this picture just breaks my heart

>>17661817
Is there any reason to stop this way of life? I think I have an std.

>>17661289
You on Vancouver Island?

>>17661817
I have no respect for people like you. Weak willed hedonists with no self discipline and nothing to offer the world.

>>17661817
What gigs are even happening right now?

>>17661839
nope :( USA

>>17661571
>even taking ssris to begin with
I genuinely hope you don't ever reproduce, anon. If you're ill-suited to life in post-modernity to the point that you've taken ssris even once, you have no place passing on your genes.

>>17661827
most stds are no worse than a common cold

>>17661847
I have plenty to offer the world, I am a brilliant author and mind

>>17661854
I don't live in America bruh

>>17661898
Where do you live that gigs are happening?

>>17661902
Australia

>>17661906
Ah. I heard that you guys were shutting things down again. That not the case? I would give anything to go see the world's shittiest band play at a bar right now, you have no idea. I'm incredibly jealous if your nightlife is back to normal

>>17661919
Different states have different rules. I think Melbourne did a 5 day lockdown recently that's over now. I'm in Sydney where life is 95% back to normal - a few annoying social distancing rules but otherwise normal. Haven't had a case here in about 40 days. It's actually sweet because all the local acts that would otherwise be touring are pumping out more shows than usual to make up for the lost income last year - so there's heaps going on rn.

Anna Khachiyan got way hotter since she put on a bit of weight

>>17654592
I streamed some American television and noticed all the ads resemble this pattern

>multiple adverts use talking animals for no reason
>everyone is smug and quipping
>obnoxious music and blatant attempts to appeal to vapid subculture demographics
>men are retarded no matter what race but if there happens to be a white guy in the same advert as a "person of colour" the white guy is the only retard and everyone either pauses or scowls when they talk
>a large amount of people have been poisoned by household products and there are class action law suites, there is one for round up giving people lymphoma
>the most common illnesses is people need diabetes treatment or have copd and depression
>there are something like 5-6 advert breaks during a 30 min episode

>>17662015
Where you from?

>>17662027
Croatia

>>17662015
American ads seem conscious of the fact that the audience has their phones out and aren't looking at the screen, so most commercials are obnoxious, attention-grabbing micro-sketches.

A slam dunk for a commercial is if it's tagline gets used 'ironically' elsewhere (e.g. the pizza hut one), so they intentionally make it as cheesy and hammed up as they can so people use it to make fun of it.

>>17662030
What is your tv like? I always assumed american tv was the model that everyone else copied

>>17662035
How horrible.

>>17661898
>I am a brilliant author and mind
I totally believe you.

>>17661817
I feel this way and then I do nothing about it, or worse I act on it and end up fucking a fat chicken and coming down off drugs feeling rotten

Stupid cunt-brained jannies deleted my thread on Ivy League schools when it was completely relevant to /lit/‘s rules of discussion fuck you jannies

>>17662208
then you're a wise man, anon

>>17661866
ok boomer

>>17654592
"Cock and ball torture". That sunny Saturday morning he seemed unable to think about anything else. "Somebody else in this town must be into that" he thought to himself.

>>17654982
why does everyone who hates kpop turn out to be a massive racist?

>>17662702
She is flat as fuck, what's the obsession with flat-faced yellow skinned slanted eyes gooks

>>17662702
what is wrong with racism?

Has anyone here ever dealt with extreme impostor syndrome at their job or school? How did you get through it? Even when I want to do a good job the systems make no sense and everybodys just faking it so I have to fake it. So why do I feel like a fake faker?

>>17662702
I don't hate kpop

I'm a big fan of cumming. Cumming, jerking it, anything—I'm always open to cum/jerking related activities. When I'm a child, or were an almost thereof, remaining to be, but not quite... I'll do only but to go so far; as such: cum. Cum cum cum. Love it, hate it, the world runs on cum. I'm cum, you're cum. Everyone and every thing is, or was at one point, cum. Just cum.

>>17663076
Everyone's a fake. Your boss is too. Sooner you realize that, the better.

>>17654592
I dont know who am i.

Why are East Asian girls so fucking cute, bros?

>>17663368
Because every continent, Africa withstanding, has an equal amount of cuteness (per head). What with the Indian subcontinent's dearth of even a bit of cuteness, the Koreans and the Japs are inundated. I really wish they'd all just spit in my mouth and mock my bulbous oxidental eyes.

>>17663400
made me chuckle. good post

>>17663368
They're not. You're emotionally stunted and relate more to a teenage girl than an adult woman. The latter intimidate you because they see you for what you are. A younger woman, you may be able to trick, or at least be on stable footing with them. These asian prostitutes, who happen to sing and dance on stage, look and behave like teenagers. You think they are vulnerable and stupid and that they won't judge you or hold you to a reasonable standard. This way, you think you might be able to get a sexual partner and avoid the crucible of growing up and becoming responsible. You could trick society into thinking you have attributes which you do not, through your sexual and romantic association with a female. Maybe you could even trick yourself. If the naive asian teenager accepted you, maybe you wouldn't be the unaccomplished, immature and undisciplined person that the rest of the world tells you that you are. Maybe reality is wrong and the asian girl's plastic smile is correct. But of course this wouldn't happen, and besides, a real woman is too intimidating in all regards. Years of cognitive dissonance, onanism, and Japanese cartoons have prepared you for the final answer: a VTuber girlfriend. But even she seems too perfect. In the back of your mind, the question lingers: are you really worthy?

>>17655983
Realise how much power it has over you. It is like a demon feeding on you, and you are possessed. It's a pathetic way to expend your precious energy. It has to end.

>>17663368
kpop idols are the best of the best and not representative of how actual east asian girls look. Minju is considered god-tier for a reason

>>17660304
I’m similar. I totally regret ever going.

>>17660363
You’d feel the same no matter your job.

>>17654592
Tfw the brain development starts to hit and cant stop thinking about ways to make money or clout

Trailer for sale or rent
Rooms to let, 50 cents
No phone, no pool, no pets
I ain't got no cigarettes
Ah, but two hours of pushing broom
Buys a eight by 12 four-bit room
I'm a man of means, by no means
King of the road
Third boxcar, midnight train
Destination: Bangor, Maine
Old worn out suit and shoes
I don't pay no union dues
I smoke, old stogies I have found
Short, but not too big around
I'm a man of means, by no means
King of the road
I know every engineer on every train
All of the children and all of their names
Every handout in every town
Every lock that ain't locked when no one's around
I sing, trailers for sale or rent
Rooms to let, 50 cents
No phone, no pool, no pets
I ain't got no cigarettes
Ah, but two hours of pushing broom
Buys an eight by 12 four-bit room
I'm a man of means, by no means
King of the road
Trailer for sale or rent
Rooms to let, 50 cents
No phone, no pool, no pets
I ain't got no cigarettes
Ah, but, two hours of pushing broom
Buys an eight by 12 four-bit room

>>17663460
extremely cringe post

>>17664048
The truth burns, doesn't it?

she gets content and chill when i give her attention no matter what it is

>>17663460
>Realise how much power it has over you. It is like a demon feeding on you, and you are possessed. It's a pathetic way to expend your precious energy. It has to end.
It certainly does have to end. I've noticed that the best way to avoid it is to avoid everything sexual. Even entertaining slightly sexual thoughts usually ends up in masturbation. I will be strict this time, hopefully with better results.

>>17656283
What an insufferable third world peasant with its ape tier spanish

I fookin tired. have to work a lot . life full of things. want to lie in bed.

i put everything into it, i really believed that it could be it but it didnt. i crashed and gave up. i crawled back into my hole.

I spend a lot of my time now trying to think about what I should do with my life and I still come up empty handed. It feels like nothing is worth doing and what is worth doing is hardly doable. I just know I’m absolutely not doing what I’m supposed to.

>>17664659
i feel the same.

>>17664707
It’s like never ending anxiety and depression. I’m going to be 28 soon and I’ve felt this way for so long and I’m totally alone. What the hell are we supposed to do with our time here?

>>17664718
I'm 29 in a half a year too.
>What the hell are we supposed to do with our time here?
I mean there's a society's way of working, getting your place and raising a family. However i'm not capable of doing it. I never felt normal among other normal people. I can appear one for the short time but if you'd interact with me, you sure notice that there's something wrong with me. I like to blame my neurosis for all my current situation but even then there are people in worse position who're capable of living with descending into labyrinth of endless doubts. Im not going to lie in saying that i'm quite envy of those people who want to do several things at once but cant seem to choose because for me, it's that i HAVE to choose right here and now but i dont see anything to choose from. One could say that just try and cross out everything you dont like but i dont even have a list with things i'd like to try in the first place. I wish i could say something insightful and profound about this whole situation but i dont have any answers.

>>17664751
> literally me except for the whole neurosis thing
Yeah, I don’t really know what to say either. I just know what I’m doing with my life now feels like existential hell and it needs to stop. Beyond that, I have no clue. The only thing I really feel good about is escaping into reading and writing.

>>17664751
raise chickens bro, their shit is really good for compost too. Also gives you an excuse for a doggy and using the compost for a garden. Oh yeah it’s simple pride in your own works time

>>17664751
>>17664718

>>17664273
inshallah anon you and i will put a stop to this once and for all

>>17654592
The girl in this classic perfect-looking picture was real, she had an actual butthole, almost certainly a little bit hairy, as depilation wasn't common at all back there or then. They were all hairy hens then...

>>17664801
I wish i could honestly say to myself that farmers life is sufficient for me and i dont need anything more.
I cant.
>>17664774
I dont know either hence the rambling which is like screaming into void. Sometimes i think that in earlier times i'd be drafted into army and died in some unknown battle or just die from tuberculosis. Either way, it'd be over by now.

>>17664951
I like to fantasize that there would have been a place for me in old society. Whether or not that’s true, I’ll never know. Probably not. E

>>17654620
I know, right? White women are just simply the greatest.

>>17664656
Dropping out of college?

>>17665136
Uni. and i finished it but holy shit the whole experience made me so bitter that i just gave up on ever trying anything.

>>17665168
That pretty much happened to me. I ended jumping into 3 different majors before I NET’d (I worked part-time) for 2 years. I got pushed into going back and studying a “practical” major so I did. It turned out to not even be practical but I finished and I got loaded up with a boatload of debt. I pretty much regret it. I don’t really regret having a degree since you need one to do so many things like become an officer in the military, get a visa, etc. but I totally wasting my time especially in that major and going into debt.

>>17665101
GODDAMN RIGHT

I once had a discussion on an internet forum with a guy who described himself as a leftist nietzschean anarchist positivist capitalist anti Marxian materialist who went on for hours trying to convince me of the benevolence of the cosmic teilhardian artificial intelligence that must emerge(not appear!) from the disagreements and discussions that we have on the internet, in order to overwhelm the alienating, false, totem-like institutions that define our daily life. These processes must "arise" from the acknowledgement of the endlessness of reality against our logic-linguistic attempts at decodify them in order to understand our own psyche.
"But we can't! Just like we can't observe quantum mechanic phenomenon subjected by the principle of indetermination!"
"This must be the way, the bridge between the objectivist Marxism and the subjectivist bourgeoise neo-kantism!, and totalitarian psychology will weed out all the useless elements of this modern Babel!"

What did he mean by that?

Even the humble mouse
is revered as god-king by the ants.
But unyielding Death
knows neither rank or station
in His court.

What if my problem is that is simply feel myself to be far too important? Perhaps if I felt that I was something like a cosmic mistake, a speck floating around the periphery, I might feel some sense of liberation in that.

>>17665443
>What did he mean by that?
sounds like he was pretty clear

thinking what are some good pornsites now that pornhub is dead

>>17664656
>>17665168
what happened

>>17665618
to me it sounded like he was doing a show-off of his intellectual abilities

>>17665673
Fuck, xhamster cleaned some too. Exposed websluts have been deleted. What the fuck are they thinking?

>>17665443
>leftist nietzschean
not a thing

>>17665702
ikr, i thought the NWO was supposed to keep us on porn, not take it away... they only keep the cuckold vids lol

Face down I float below a pond of farts,
My lips rough, red and moist.
I dream of marble steps and liquid sharts,
Of buttocks spread, tongue-torn apart ...
And hear a caveman's bubbling voice:
Eat. Rejoice.

>>17665685
I might as well write it out. I was an outcast in school therefore i focused on getting the best grades and excelling in knowledge. I let myself to believe that university could be that place where one can make a new fresh start and meet likeminded people. I really really put all my eggs into that basket and let myself believe in that dream. I entered uni and everything slowly crumbled from the beginning. I low-key partied with roommated and people in the same wing for one semester and i maintained rather decent discipline regarding learning new stuff. However first exam session truly showed my intellectual inferiority in full display. At first i thought that it was just my lack of discipline. I was forced to move out of the room into completely different block. The same happened in the upcoming semesters until i started failing exams and passing them in 2nd or 6th time. At the same time i wondered what the hell i was doing here? The faded dream showed that i didnt change myself in any way and uni was just highschool on steroids. I remained at uni only out duty to finish it so that all the time wasted in it wouldnt go to complete waste. I knew that this whole shtick wasnt for me and i really didnt care about the field in the first place but merely made myself believe that it was the IT. I was so bored that i used to just walk around the city for hours searching for something but i never found it. I couldnt answer the question - what else could you do? what could be it? By the end of 6th semester i just gave up and took the academic leave (which is basically the death sentence) but despite all odds i returned and somehow finished the bachelor. I just gave up after that, i didnt (and still) know where i should go from there because i didnt want to do with field ever again.

>>17654592
Lets watch some xqc together and write whats on our mind while watching https://www.twitch.tv/xqcow

>>17665811
Congrats on your degree anon, it's not all that bad. You still have time to figure out what you want to do and you sound like a smart guy.

>>17665818
I'd rather read a book.

>>17665818
>amazon jewish corp #50416
I'm okay

>>17665705
>who is Deleuze

One of the things that gives me the biggest boner is the idea of girls shitting. The funny thing is that it's not the shit itself that turns me on. I don't find it particularly sexy to, like, see a girl smeared in her own poop. Rather, it's purely the ACT of pooping that arouses me.

Apparently this is an important distinction, I learned recently that the act of shitting is an entirely different fetish than shit itself. The latter is referred to as scat, the former is referred to as messing.

>>17665880
Explain leftist nietzschean thought

>>17665811
I feel for you anon. College raped my ass, and I wish I've never went there. Hope you figure out something one day. Best wishes.

>>17665928
wtf why so many people had bad college experience i thought it was comfy to shoot the shit and play video games

>>17665849
Thanks anon but it's been 5 years since then. I had a job for an year (it was worse than uni) but it didnt really lead nowhere. I'm slowly gathering strength, it takes a lot of time to believe in anything.
>>17665928
I also wish that i've never gone there but i couldnt answer the question "what would you do else?". I hope you're doing better than me.

>>17665999
so what did you do for the other 4 years

>>17666147
Stayed neet at parents. I rationalized it that if you do random things without any plan then you're just wasting time so i never really did anything (besides some irl courses).

>>17665999
>it didnt really lead nowhere
with grammar that shitty i can see why your career hit a plateau before it even began

>>17666157
could be fun to try to do random things but only if it doesn't depress you more

>>17666164
maybe he's not trying to be writer

>>17666164
what are you on about?
>>17666171
this whole period of idleness was basically fooling around. now it's all about getting a job, a place to live and continue the same till death.

>>17666190
once you have a job and a place to live you can start going to the gym and maybe you'll find a girl and start a family

>>17666223
i been thinking about mma but the perspective of getting beat the shit out of me by some veteran just really makes me think.
>a girl and start a family
i'm a almost 29 year old virgin and that sounds like science fiction concept.

>>17666242
dunno many things can change in several years and unlike women, men can still start families after 35. you have lots of time to sort out your life

>>17666257
you really make sense even if i'm not keen on admitting it at first. thanks. honestly, it's just my fear of life that causes all the misery to me.

>>17666275
you'll be fine anon the 20s are tough and emotional but as long as you continue to take care of yourself and look forward you can turn it around

>>17666306
thanks, i really mean it. was it the same for you too?

>all I can think of is wanting to fap
>try not to, think maybe thats for the best
>goes on for hours
>finally fap
>ok.jpg
>half our later all I can think of is wanting to kill myself
thanks Obama

>>17666341
not identical, but i also felt lost and depressed for a large portion of my 20s and i didn't think i'd see a way out. but by my late 20s i already felt like i was growing more mature and less emotional, and now i'm planning to marry my gf when i feel ready. i don't think i ever thought about starting a family in my mid 20s, but now i want to have a family and kids and protect them

>>17666380
i hope you'll be great father.

>>17666417
thanks anon. i trust you'll steer your life on a great path too

number one victory royale yeah fortnite we bout to get down ten kills on the board right now just wiped out tomato town

New thread
>>17666829
>>>17666829
>>17666829
>>>17666829
>>17666829
>>>17666829
>>17666829

test if bump limit is 310

it is (it becomes italic when it's over the bump limit)