/lit/ - Literature

Favorite pieces, everyone?

>>17616329
I liked the case of dutch lit

Based. Gonna check it out now.

>>17616329
the gay one, the ad one, my one and the chess one

>>17616229
I was a little disappointed with this issue honestly. There was some great little nuggets, but it wasn't as good as the last edition which I thought was fantastic. There was a wide variety in the last one with some really great, smart, funny, schizo pieces. Like the one about the fbi putting twigs in people's mailboxes, We'll Bury the Mare in the Morning, I thought that 'Reject Modernity, Embrace Tradition' pictures were brilliant, and of course the Gardner obituary. This edition seemed to be a bit barren in comparison.
But anyway, I really liked the 'perfect day for snow' story
The classifieds were pretty funny
I loved that sonnet 'My soul will always seek your brown eyes.' I thought that was an excellent poem.
That story about the photographer was also pretty entertaining, it gave me a bit of a Salinger vibe, very cool.

For this one, I'm waiting to read most of the stuff on the physical magazine when it comes in the mail

>>17616229
I'm delighted to see one of my shitty logo renders being used for the cover :^)

This, snow story, the photographer story and Epstein were strong. The reviews seemed okay until I realized anon was bullshitting us about their plots. The dutch thing was also cogent, but as that anon knows, nobody cares about the Dutch. Frontloading the Wallace piece was a mistake though.

>>17618536
Same. The snow piece was really comfy when there is a foot of snow on the ground.

>>17618536
Same here. Really enjoyed reading the last issue in my arm chair with a coffee.

>>17616229
I'm glad you guys appologized for how shitty the burgerpunk edition was.

>>17616229
how am i supposed to submit to this bitch ass

>>17619559
Lampbylit.com/elite
anon
god

>>17619568
yo wtf you say

mmm.. sexy

>>17619211
>pic related
thank you anon, I made it

I liked the chess story
>>17616229
Also OP can you include a guide on how to submit in the post? So we dont have anons asking every thread

>>17620777
I don't think OP made this thread based on how he usually posts

>>17620777
Not Op, but

https://lampbylit.com/magazine/submit/

>>17619568
>user name
>password

for Lampbylit.com/elite

>>17616229

This thread is worthless without BrookAnon coming in here and making some crazy accusations about something. Please explain how &amp is involved in child trafficking please.

>>17622532
Yeah I agree it's pretty boring

>>17622589

Maybe their classifieds were coded for child traffickers? Maybe they murdered someone and every page has a clue to where the body is? Maybe they stole the literary estate of Philip K. Dick and turned everything into a Gardner spin-off? Give me something. I don't care about poetry. I want drama. Alcoholic drama. I want it now and I want to know what book explains it.

>>17619211
what book

Bump, lets discuss the works

>If you wish to submit your article for consideration to &amp Magazine print version, please have your agent submit your work via the proper channels on /lit/.

vat mean

>>17621035
>Lampbylit.com/elite
>Hello I found this website board from a search after trying to find the people who billed my 84 year old mother for 1300 copies of something called amp. The people saying this is all about advertising are right. Just so you know what you are involved in there is a boiler room in Chicago and it is registered to someone named Gardner which is exactly what people here were saying. And they kept calling my mom and trying to sell her things. Her entire garage is full of boxes of this magazine and the guy on the phone told her she just needed to build a downline and then she could sell them to all of her friends and build extra money for her retirement. None of her friends are buying a magazine filled with smut I'm sorry. And the lamp thing is part of all of this too because they say they're giving her a lamp as a gift every time she buys more amps but it's seven lamps and none of them even work and they billed her more than $18,000 for all of this. This is not a luxury periodical it is called a pyramid scam and they won't quit texting my mom about the next issue and how much money she's going to make selling it. This is not just advertising it is exploitation and I won't stand for it. If you want to sell your magazine don't call elderly women and start telling them that they should invest in hyperlit that's not a real company I looked. My mom can't even tell me what hyperlit is but she won't stop talking about how I just need to wait for it to moon.

I will try to write a short story or poem I've never written b4 though

Cool!
Read pretty much all of the previous issue.

Looking forward to read it.

>>17616229
How does one submit? Also a little story with a stupid ending I wrote in a matter of minutes: Her fleshy underpass pressed upon by nose: This is it--I thought--you either sink or swim. Her name was Kim, her quim was moist, and pungent like the smell of fertile earth, of shade-saved moss, but also carnal: a combination of the vegetable, even the flowery, and the animal. She moaned and rocked upon my mouth and chin. I could not feel myself breathing, but did not care; I felt quite dizzy but not at all nauseous. Then it came, a slight queef (not a fart) and she laughed and said "My pussy's talking to you, this is the language of pussy. Pussy has many tongues: the visual; the liquid; the muscularly oral but otherwise silent; and the lyrical or musically verbal proper." I wondered to myself, notwithstanding my state of overflowing excitement, "What does she..."--Again came the sound of a newborn queef: this one was tonally lighter, more elegant, even more self-assured (admittedly I found the terms ridiculous, but also absolutely accurate). "My vaginal song is an ancient one, it has--pardon the pun, for it is truly no pun at all--given birth to all the languages of mankind, and to all the poetry and musicality therein, in more senses than one." And at that moment I felt almost, as it were, reborn with complete and total understanding: all language was ultimately but a means towards a returning to the total comprehension of the womb: the echoes of its aquatic sounds would be but the accompanying embryonic words of our own developing form, entwined in one indivisible chrysalis of carnalized consciousness, of logotic flesh. By this point our positions had changed and I was well and truly within--and no longer beneath--her in my understanding...

>>17623491
the one with the coded numbers i thought was gonne be the best but it ended up as just meh. i still have mixed opinions on it. the ending where the firefighters eat cheescake is great because no if they werent firegihters, them eating cheesecake would be unremarkable just like how if there wasnt the novelty of coding words, the story itself is completely unremarkable. but that self awareness doesnt make the story not unremarkable. ironic shit is still shit as the wise man say. but thats exactly the point of the ending too. so i say, it makes its point, but at the cost of being a bit boring and devoid of beauty. in the end art should be about beauty imo and not statements. i got excited when i saw the colorful words and the numbers and i was dissapointed. i wonder if it would have worked better if it was just the last paragrapgh.

>>17624378
I agree that self awareness doesn't always help, and I think in this case you're right the author tried to compensate by being self aware but it didn't really pay off

>>17624197
>>17619568

Who the fuck writes greek

>>17626839
You're mom

>>17626839
i bet this brainlet doesn't even know latin

What did people make of the Mauve Blood piece?

hey phags, editoranon here.
thanks OP for making a general. thats comfy.
i'm actually settling back in from a heavy trip finally. i'm going to start firing your articles into the site so they are readable online and i'll hit the support emails straight away.
the esteemed editor of Coronameron is going to helming the next issue entirely. i've given him 100% control of 005. after today, he'll be answering your emails and reviewing your submissions and assigning me submissions and probably making threads.
we're getting much less submissions from random anons now and we seem to have secured about 20 or so anons who i expect to contribute something for 005 based on the past. hopefully we can drive submissions and hopefully anons are still stoked to submit. i'm excited to interview Gardner and actually maybe write some more journalism or fiction or anything. that will feel good to sit in the back seat for a bit.
i plan to buy some ads right away here.

i do regret putting the dfw piece up front. it needed a copyedit that didn't happen. even a simple rearrangement of the TOC could have made 004 truly Great™ but it is what it is, and overall i think it reflects the board. i've clearly burnt myself out on the project.

i have to say tho, despite how gay it sounds, anons have really had my back during this whole thing, from the contributors to my editor to the /hyperlit/ anon who told me to read a real book after i'd published 100k words using robots. its been a lot of fun.

>>17628123
i thought it was gorgeous and i actually spent a good little while dismantling and exploring the piece but i didn't do anything formal or write anything down so i was considering maybe writing a review. its my fave piece from the issue.

>>17628123
Gibberish, worthless, though fun to read

>>17628355
>worthless
>fun
what did KEK mean by this?

hate to self shill but I wrote a piece called "who were you" in here. any anon's like it? dislike it? absolutely hate it?

>>17628428
i enjoyed it a lot. its a rather sad piece i felt. its well written though and the page design is really fucking slick. but yeah the piece is sort of a cold mortal reminder. the design almost betrays the piece because it kind of pops while the piece is pretty morose however the design does grab my attention and ultimately serves the work well.

>>17619092
dude those are kino please spam the email with them.
>>17623491
how about my interview? disasterpeace is a huge deal i hope i can count you among my fellow patricians who agree. if you have any suggestions for questions i should ask F Gardner i'd love to hear them.

>>17622887
educated guess: Jonathan Crary, 24/7

>>17628765

How many of him are there? Who is his favorite fake F Gardner poster? What will be the next thing to call? Has he told his family he became a meme and what did they think?

>>17628164
Thanks for doing this. I've been impressed by the layouts, design, quality of the writing, and at the same time the "flying an airplane while building it feel" as random anon submit pieces and some random anon puts it together. This is something special and I hope people keep submitting to keep this dirty cocksucker in the air. I know I will.

>>17629576

Me too>>17628164

>>17619211
>Epstein
I really liked that one. Most of the one page stuff was pretty good imo. I thought the Wallace piece was alright. What was wrong with it in your opinion.

>>17628164
>submit my writings
>editoranon likes them and tells me im good and that hell put them in 005
>005 is edited by coronameron editor
>coronameron editor calls me a hack and spits on my face throu email
why is life directed by the coen brothers?

>>17631561
>calls me a hack
Bruh, I just woke up, I haven't replied to single submission yet. Which submission is yours, I'll start sifting through them all in a couple hours

STEAL THESE STORIES

Sober Hard working man gets pushed over the edge when he comes home to enjoy his favorite food only to find his wife bought the wrong kind

>>17631973
just memeing. are u in charge of the same email?

>>17632857
Nope, just I'm acting editor in chief for this issue so all submissions to the main lamp email are forwarded to me

>>17633020
the website or this one?
lamp.lit.magazine@gmail.com

>>17631561
More guest editors like this. You magazine guys need to try to get that dude Waldun to do an edition.

>>17633300
That one there
>>17633340
We encourage people to edit their own submissions with canva so we can bring in more skilled editors, 8.5 x 11inch

>>17633340
I should be free to do it next month. I can sit in my favorite French coffee shop while I edit Le Magazin

Imagine having your name associated with this magazine. Career-ending.

>>17634542
what name?

>>17634763
Any name

>>17635017
the authors are anonymous...

>>17635077
That's what you think

>>17635166
?

Can't believe this fucking BLATANT ADVERTISING THREAD WHICH IS A BANNABLE OFFENSE ACROSS ALL BOARDS is still up. Fucking mods tried to ban me for wanting to discuss RC Waldun's latest short story and THIS BLATANT ADVERTISING FOR A PRODUCT has not been deleted and the OP hasn't been banned.
What a fucking joke mods.

>>17635477
>boohoo I wanted to spam booktuber shit
Fuck off back to d*scord

>>17635477
Seeth mods

>>17635703
>NOOOOO YOU CAN'T DISCUSS A WRITER'S STORY BECAUSE HE HAS A YOUTUBE CHANNEL

>>17636090
It would only be different if you wanted to sincerely discuss that drivel as opposed to the meming that you were interested in

>>17635477
You can flag a thread for advertising.

>>17635477
It's not advertising a product, it's not a product, it is a collaborative writing effort from /lit/ which is free to download, stop sperging out.

This project needs some time to develop but it’s interesting, hard as fuck to find compelling avant-garde lit magazines these days

>>17628355
wdhmbt

>>17631973

Bullshit. Oh you just woke up? You just started looking at submissions and haven't replied to a single one? First we get the blatant advertising, now this crap. Some "coronameron" editor who thinks he is hot shit and can dump all over better writers than he will ever be. Let me tell you all about the e-mail I received from this guy THIS MORNING when he supposedly wasn't awake and hadn't replied to a single submission. I sent in an avante garde cooking recipe which I thought was pretty creative, but all the guy does is start talking about how awesome he is. Direct quote: "if there was a modern James Joyce, I'd be it. but I'm something better." OK guy, I guess you're hot shit. Then he starts talking about his Sneed opus. It's going to be people's internal thoughts over the course of a week, but the only thing they will think about the entire time is the Sneed joke. Oh, that's really creative. What do they do when they eat? I e-mail him back and say, hey, my cooking recipe was for lobster bisque but you guys could put some really cool graphics on it like may a lobster? But kind of a blocky one so it would be dadaist. This was a Ploughshares quality idea. And all this guy writes back is "Sneed?" You're supposed to be an editor. When I want to publish my avante garde cooking recipes I expect a professional response. Then he just keeps talking about the suck and fuck thing and where you can find a good feed and seed store and he sends me yelp reviews for a bunch of massage parlors. Go ahead and write your "Sneed opus," guy. Good luck getting any more submissions when this is how you people act.

>>17636972
i have to say, this is pretty based

>>17636972
kek, this guy is desperate. after I told him lobster isn't quite our style he started flooding my email with avant garde lobster pictures he obviously cooked up in half a minute in photoshop, no discernable talent

>>17636972
Same thing happened to me as well

>>17636414
What's the matter janny? Mad your false ban got revoked? Did they take away your powers janny?

>>17636430
>it's free therefore it's not advertising!
Only reason this doesn't get deleted and banned is because the janny gets published by the mag so they can shill here

>>17637979

This isn't going to be a popular post but I'm going to unveil the truth about all of this. I am a janny. And yes, I am a tranny. And yes, the tranny jannies have been selling their fannies to be published in &amp. You might think this is just a magazine. You might think this is just a bunch of anons writing shitposts and fake classifieds and the occasional poem. But in fact it is a transsexual prostitution ring posing as an underground literature magazine. We all know that's how most transsexual prostitution rings get their start. Duh. Does anyone really believe Charles Bukowski was born a man? Talk about cope. But this is the modern age. And whenever you cut off your penis, the first thing your doctor tells you is, ma'am, that's ma'am, would you like to moderate a 4chan board? I said yes. I didn't even read books. But /r9k/ was taken and so I landed here. "Just ban anyone who you don't like, cutie," they said. And so I did. Bring up Book of the New Sun too many times? Gone. Badmouth F. Gardner? Zap. But then along came &amp. All of us tranny jannies keep diaries. It's what we see women do on TV shows and so we do it. The thing I most regretted about my diary was that it would never see the light of day. Who would publish a sixteen-page diatribe about how the author couldn't be April O'Neil from the Ninja Turtles even though she identified as her? &amp, that's who. It's what I cared about most in the world. Letting people know the real me. And so I sucked it up, dilated, and had lots of weird sex with the &amp editors. It was worth it. My work is forthcoming in a future issue. None of you will be moderated in any way (that is, as long as I keep getting compensated for the weird sex). I'll still be watching. If you go too far, and don't have weird sex, or keep saying you like Brian Sanderson, then all bets are off. But &amp? They've pimped me out more times than I ever could have hoped for. I've been in a lot of transsexual prostitution rings. But this is the only one that's recognized me for who I truly am.

>>17637098
I would like to read the avante-garde lobster recipe...

>>17638411
checked as fuck.
>>17636972
can confirm.
>>17632644
checked again.

Also
I’ve been grinding hard so I haven’t even looked at prussia’s new project yet. I have to set him up for success so this weekend everything will be finished for the transition. desu I like the cover for 003 the best. idk about the latest one. I wonder what prush will do w the cover. i should try to get soMe design and drawfags so we can get more cool ooze drips.

>>17618327
>>17619211
Anon who wrote "The Photographer" here, glad you enjoyed it. This magazine has been a huge confidence booster for me I'm glad to be a part of it.

>>17639763
yeah I’m stoked on that piece. good flash pieces really just make the magazine. those are my fave.
also had more multilingual submissions for 004 so hopefully that keeps up. really loved the french poem.

>>17638979
If someone actually writes and sends in an avant-garde lobster recipe I'll put it in, maybe I'll ask /ck/

bump, send submissions to Lamp.Lit.magazine@gmail.com