/lit/ - Literature

Hey is it okay if I name my character Pokemon Jones in my story? I'm not sure what else to call him. I haven't really read any books to be honest, the only thing ive read and the only book i own is the novelization of 2001 a space Odyssey. i re read that a lot especially when i lose internet
>>17629191
What should I rename him? That's what I'm asking for
Ishmael Abelsson is something I've thought of. and then I can call him Ishy

I'd love feedback on the speed and the dialogue for this, i will also break it up into paragraphs soon.
1/3

Chapter one of my short story: https://pastebin.com/3WRDfgQi

Can't decide if it's decent or if I should drop it and move onto something else.

>>17629246
2/3

>>17629256
3/3

>>17629227
Johnathan. Can be called John or Jack.
James. Can be called Jim or Jimmy.
Robert. Can be called Rob or Bob or Robby or Bobby.
William. Can be Will or Bill or Willy or Billy.
Any of those four.

>>17629254
Honestly i loved it, i didn't expect something this good on a weeb board but i especially loved what looked like a feat of selfless (or dumb) bravery on the part of William when he won by handing over the better piece for pawns. Hoping that's foreshadowing.

>>17629227
May I ask why you have chosen to name your character Pokemon? Unless the idea is that your character has idiots for parents or they live in a world wherein rampant consumerism has overtaken the identity of individuals, then such a name will appear jarring and may possibly distract readers from the story. Think about what you want to highlight in your story (setting? theme? prose style?) and ask yourself if the name Pokemon reflects or amplifies this trait(s).

If you want to write, you should definitely read more. This is for two purposes: you will naturally absorb new vocabulary, proper grammar, and various foundations of style, but also because if you're not the type of person who enjoys books (whether it's a physical book or stories posted online) enough to read them for pleasure, then why are you writing? There is no "correct" reason to write, but there are many bad reasons which will bring you nothing more than frustration and wasted time. It seems to me as if you have a story which you want to tell, which you would prefer to see as visual media, but you choose to write it because writing is the "easiest" way to get something out there. If that's the case, I advise you to follow your true passion. Maybe you won't achieve the success you have in mind, but it will bring you a deeper appreciation for the craft.

Life is full of compromises. You will compromise on careers, housing, relationships, and everything in between. Food, clothes, vacations, etc. etc. You will be forced to accept a lesser version of what you want. Frequently. This will be a constant fact of life. Your art is the one area in life where you do not have to compromise. As long as you aren't a delusional retard, you will not starve if you fuck it up, your friends will not abandon you, there is no timescale. You can spend the rest of your life trying to learn a skill which will bring your vision to life in the way you want, and nothing bad will ever happen to you because of it. Don't start writing fiction because you think it's the best you can hope for.

>>17629254
antiquated styles get btfo in the market but enjoy the larp, i guess.

Vaguely concerned that a Surrealistically violent poem (a la Sade, mi pater) I sent to a magazine is going to get me a knock on my door bc what if they can’t into surrealism and think I’m really bout that life?
Is that something that happens?

>>17629732
What makes it antiquated? (not him)

>>17629754
Prior to WW2, most literate people were upper-class, therefore most "celebrated" literature was written for and about them. You can see the trappings in this piece: private schools, no discussion of jobs, and a fixation on chivalry. Slightly less damning is the lack of familiarity between spouses (suggesting arranged marriage) and the attachment to family history. There's also the lack of electronics.

/wg/ Swear Jar:

Search all these words and post them with your word count.

Book 1 (89k words):
>Fuck - 0
>Shit - 0
>Bitch - 0
>Bastard - 1
>Piss - 5
>Ass - 10
>Damn - 27

Book 2 (105k words):
>Fuck - 0
>Shit - 1
>Bitch - 0
>Bastard - 5
>Piss - 11
>Ass - 27
>Damn - 75

My story is YA fantasy.

>>17630200
Only 10k words so far, but 0. Which is either impressive or a red flag since it's a porn novel.

>>17630200
Vol 1 (233k words)
Fuck: 4
Shit: 25
Bitch: 0
Bastard: 6
Piss: 2
Ass: 11
Damn: 16

Not sure what to classify it as. Maybe Seinin/YA.

>>17628804
How should I approach well known writers that are professors in my university(and other local universities)? Do I read something of theirs and suck them off in a email whilist mentioning that I'm writing something myself? Maybe just ask them to edit it? idk how to approach these things

>>17628804
Can I get a critique on my story "The Butcher of Havnok"?

Sometimes I just get so lost in the way people look at me when I reveal to them i'm the butcher of Havnok. It's always a kick when their eyes widen when the shock sets in when they realize I wasn't fucking around. You could see the fear inside them grow just from looking into their eyes. The eyes are the window to the soul after all. It's almost better than the killing itself.

Almost.

The media calls me butcher, ripper, killer, sociopath, and sometimes even demon. But the truth of the matter is I just love carving the human body into my pieces of art. I love expressing the limitations of mortal flesh. I can make a canoe out of a person's body quite well at this point. I can also shape the body into monstrosities reminiscent from some cosmic horror story. I love my work. And I love expressing it so everyone could take a marvel at my creations.

The truth of the matter is i'm a man with an unique ability to create something more than art. Mere art could be forgotten and destroyed by those looking to reshape the past into a modern lie. No, my creations will be burned into the minds of the policemen that have to witness my atrocities when they step onto the crime scene; My creations will live on in the leaked pictures that will be immortalized on the internet. My creations will stand the tests of time and culture. Hell, with the way things are progressing, I may even be recognized as a saint or martyr instead of a demon that preys on the innocent.

Sure, some of the people I go after are innocent. I've desecrated two whole families at this point in history. I have no qualms about admitting that just as I have no qualms about going after predators and repeat offenders. It's just that the predators are sometimes the more easy prey, especially when they're too enslaved by their vices to not indulge the demon knocking at their door.

Like now as I sat in the booth discreetly watching the woman with the silver blonde hair and ice blue eyes to die for. She always hit up the same two diners in town. Always. Because they were the diners that were frequented with young teenagers studying for their classes. She was known well among the teens for being the one cool adult and they accepted her into their circles. Tonight, she was with two teens called Vanessa and Lara. From my booth, I listened to Lara trying to convince Vanessa to go check out the new store opening in Dimond. She wasn't having any luck, especially with Agnes, the silver blonde woman, coaxing Vanessa to stay with her and finish up the study.

>>17630310
"It's okay, Lara. You have all the time in the world to check it out but not for the exam tomorrow. That's priority number one if you want to pass your freshman year, missy," Agnes said coolly as she ever so slightly batted her eyelashes at Lara.

I had to smile at the charm because it sure as fuck worked on Vanessa.

"Agnes is right, Lara. I can't miss out on this and neither can you," Vanessa asserted.

"Oh for God's sake, never figured you for a prude," Lara spat before leaving.

"Lara! Lara!-,"

"Leave her. If she doesn't want to study so be it. It'll just be you and me, honey. Don't you like it that way?" Agnes said, giving Vanessa a soft, disarmed look.

"Of course I do," Vanessa sighed, giving in," sometimes I think you're more of a friend then Lara,"

I had started to day dream about what I was going to create from Agnes that I found myself openly staring at the interaction and slowly looked away so as not to draw attention. Something about defiling predators had never failed to bring out the best inspiration in me. Maybe because it was the time old adage "might makes right". Or maybe it was because of a logic more profound then reason.

From time to time I would look up briefly to watch Agnes seduce Vanessa with her charismatic, almost hypnotizing, manner and words. They didn't leave until around nine thirty, Agnes with a protective arm around the girl's waist as she opened her car door for her. I didn't need to follow them to know that Agnes was going to bring the girl to the lovely beach house for a more romantic setting with the calm sea and full moon as the view.

I beat them there and hid my car along the brush and made my way down the path to the house and slipped in like a thief. I chose to hide in the bedroom closet as beams of light spilled out across the living room curtains. Agnes was going to waste no time in getting what she wanted from Vanessa and I was proven correct as Agnes led her to the bedroom.

No sir, Agnes waisted no time at all as they came sprawling into the room in a tight embrace, their mouths locked together and moving together frantically. When they fell against the bed with Vanessa landing on top of Agnes, I slowly pushed the closet door open and unsheathed my knife as I walked up to Vanessa and grabbed her by the hair and slit her throat and sawed at it as a shocked Agnes made sharp gasping sounds, trying to scream.

>>17630310
>>17630314
You see the reason why I love looking into my victim's eyes is because I had no irises. My eyes only had pupils, very large ones that was reminiscent of a cartoon character's. Looking into my victim's proper eyes and watching their irises shrink in fear was tantalizing. Titivating. Almost...hypnotic.

And the reason why the media sometimes called me a demon was because I was born with the ability to shift my skull plates into makeshift horns that stood out in the loose skin on my head. The pieces never pierced out of my skin, it just held up the skin kind of like a tent. But not really as I pushed those makeshift horns into place and stared into Agnes's piercing blue eyes through her blood streaked face and whispered in a distorted voice.

"I'm the butcher of Havnok,"

End/

>>17630310
>>17630314
>>17630320
>Can I get a critique on my story "The Butcher of Havnok"?
Yeah, how about you post this on a pastebin for starters.

>>17630200
209k words
Fuck: 146
Shit: 120
Bitch: 25
Bastard: 10
Piss: 17
Ass: 24? Tough to keep track of, a lot of words like assume, passed, etc. So this is ass, dumbass, and asshole
Damn: 37

>>17629689
i dont like reading at all i just like writing

Can I get a critique of an unfinished little ditty here?
https://pastebin.com/3F71NHej
How can I improve

Any tips for properly pulling off a bait and switch for a romance story? Put simply, it's a story about a man falling in love with an unconventionally attractive woman, and I thought it would be fun to put in a conventionally attractive love interest at first until the real love interest's introduction. Is it okay if it's only for a few pages or make it clear using the cover art and/or synopsis who the real female lead is?

>>17630473
make it so the first love interest cheats on him so he needs to settle for the blind girl or whatever uggo you're sticking him with

I want to write at least plausible sounding sci-fi, but I'm a total brainlet. Should I just give up and give into writing soft sci-fi or even space fantasy so I don't spend more time researching than writing?

>>17630585
If you're an autist that respects sci-fi as a speculative medium it's fine to not start writing it until you start speculating and have the experiences/education to speculate something that isn't retarded
If you don't care just write

>>17630310
>>17630314
>>17630320
There is quite a few things missing from this story. So generally when we read about a murderer, we want to be frightened. This cannot be accomplished simply by describing unpleasant things. We must be made to feel powerless, by identifying with a character who is made to be powerless. The character takes steps to ensure their safety, and the big reveal is that the murderer has anticipated those steps and rendered them pointless, or worse, the character was playing into their hands the whole time. The big reveal is NOT that the murderer looks scary or that he intends to murder.
Consider the appearance of your killer (his enormous pupils) and how those might play into his role as a killer. Big pupils absorb more light, thusly giving him an advantage in night vision. So now we have the main character, who is aware that a murderer is on the loose and seeks to evade the murderer with the common sense tactics of staying in large groups and keeping out of dark alleys. The murderer need only trick our protagonist into thinking she is safe, before springing his trap/revealing his identity. Completely drop the edgy "inside the mind of a killer" shit, because it's shallow and ineffective. Try this format:
>Sally is on her way home from a steamy softcore girl-on-girl makeout sesh
>"killer out tonight, I hope he doesn't kill me. I'll stick to well-lit public areas to be safe"
>oh no, complications have occurred and now she must forsake her safety measures
>handsome friend arrives, she doesn't know him all that well but they have a mutual friend, he suggests alternate safety measures which seem just as good
>red herring to take suspicion away from the handsome friend, whom she follows to his apartment because it turns out that their mutual friend who has an alibi for all the murders is his roommate and can drive her the rest of the way
>"but wait," she says "i spoke to him earlier, he wasn't going to be home tonight"
>handsome friend speaks sooth, lures her inside his apartment
>turns out the chick was the murderer the whole time, and if you go back and read it again, the steamy girl-on-girl makeout sesh from earlier actually seems a lot more like a vaguely-described murder

>outline my story
>start writing
>realize i'm almost a quarter of the way in and haven't really introduced my main antagonist
>realize i wouldn't introduce him until the last third in my outline
In my outline I have them just dealing with his goons without knowing who the big bad was from the very start, basically, but I've now realized that this is not the way to go. Fortunately I have an opportunity to introduce him in the chapter I'm on, but I'm still going to have to redo a solid third of my outline to account for the change. Basically everything between this part and the confrontation near the end needs to be rethought. Writing a novel with an external antagonist is fucking hard.

>>17630707
>Completely drop the edgy "inside the mind of a killer" shit, because it's shallow and ineffective
I would argue otherwise because it helps to see the world through the killer's eyes and have an understanding and appeal. But this is solid advice and I greatly appreciate this. You've given me thoughts for more stories about the butcher. Thanks Anon

One chapter down. An infinite more to go.

Which websites are the best if I want to pirate the recommended books in the OP? I usually go for physical books so I know jack shit about piracy.
Sorry for asking to be spoonfed and being a /lit/ newfig.

>>17630924
Google book name + pdf and click until you find something

>>17630924
read the sticky

>>17630200
95k
0 for all. Slice of life sci fi.

>>17630200
>Fuck - 65
>Shit - 28
>Bitch - 8
>Bastard - 0
>Piss - 0
>Ass - 16
>Damn - 19
33k words in.
>>17630385
This.

>My ideas always end up about space.

>>17631347
Space. It seems to go on and on forever. Then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you.

>>17630200
0000003

>>17630453
I showed my friends in highschool but nobody gives a shit. none of my teachers want to help me. i just want some advice

>>17631620
>>17630453
Dude, your meds, take them

Today I turn 28. I haven't written my first book yet, I'm barely 1/3rd of the way through my first draft. Am I going to make it?

>>17631630
what

How do you get rid of bad writing habits? I tend to use too many redundancies like "own" when the ownership of the object is clear.

The ophanim crashed down at the Lakeside shopping center, threw up a nimbus of dust, patchworks of pavement, shopping carts bent into swastikas, mall santas and human-sized chess pieces, adult board games from a high-end toy store, sheet music for novelty songs, soda cans, baseball cards, fruit smoothies, and bright pink bakery boxes all became the aureole of a saint that doesn't exist yet, His vague effigy formed from a Nordstrom with all its floors collapsed into one. I went in their with a mask and gloves, to the point of collision where Arcadia had been made from a Jamba Juice kitty-corner from Borders, with nixies singing barcarolles kicking their legs in a chorus line, I went with pipettes to each eye upon a wagon wheel and took from them their milky philtre which they wept. Viscous aphrodisiac that ran down their wagon wheel bodies and conglobated in the grey-white of their wings, I gathered it all in little brown bottles kept at my side, then headed out the way I came passing in the process a Gamestop bisecting the mall's vestibule metamorphised into an ovular glass aviary, from which the tremulous cries of quetzel birds emerged. Returning to my favorite garden I throw open the gate and greet the one-eyed groundskeeper. In a gesture I dismiss him as this must be done alone. The white fruits of my orchard are redolent with heady scents, thin-skinned and hemorrhaging their taille in intermittent streams of sunset color. Most will be ready to harvest once I have finished my work. I am an expressionless psychopomp who guides unaffiliated spirits to a seventh heaven that is all at once craved and detested, a mountain nymph that makes mendicants of rich men, prostitutes of maidens, big spenders of the parsimonious and true believers of the agnostic. I penetrate the fruits down to the stone with a double-headed cannula, fill them with the seed of angels until their previously saturated state is now truly fit to burst, a whole orchard welling up with ophanims' torture to be sure. When the harvest will come no one can guess, though it must come soon. Ophanims falling can really be no good omen

"Exquisite, isn't she?" he remarked admiring the plump figure of Venus in his hand.

"Stolen would be what I'd call it" the restrained agent retorted.

"Well not to worry," he replied, "The Museum can have her back once I'm done. In approximately," he glanced at his watch, "27 minutes, every last woman on Earth will resemble her."

"You're mad!", the agent snapped.

"No, Agent X," he paused briefly,"I'm the only one still sane."

>>17628804
>"Desserts, gentlemen?" the waitress arx.
>Abdul gets his handkerchief unstuck from his blouse and blurts out: "Just dessert? just.... desserts? Methinks that you should get your just deserts for such an outrageous question."
>He slams his hand on the table a-and then wallops her with a good left hook into the ribs, oh no, she might be, yes, definitely could be, two weeks pregnant now, and he might have destroyed any chance of it being a well-formed foetus, but, now, oh on, he's going to hit her with a roundhouse kick all the way from Beirut, the Syrian Pirate he is!
>Whackkkkkkk! That would hurt... Abdul stands over her now and holds a veil up to her face. >"This is what I think of liberal Islam," he vaunts aloud. "Or should I say... HISlam!"
>He covers the western woman in a veil, oh, it's a niqab, and she is crying now with her teary eyes barely visible.

>>17630069
I don’t know if you read it all, but his piece mentions WW2 and computers. I also didn’t see any indication they were upper-class people; I mean they literally live in a neighbourhood where people throw eggs at their windows and the kid goes to a school with bullies, suggesting it’s not a private school.

>>17631777
what do you think?

>>17631777
Those trips seem to suggest it. The way I see it, the only reason it's taken me longer to spread my wings as a writer is that I have not been enabled to throw my energies at it at full capacity because of stupid shit society forces me to do to survive such as work. I'll get there when I get there. It's not like people are going to look me up and say "this guy is 30 years old and hasn't published a book yet! That's a red flag!"
Half the books written by someone in their 20s are garbage anyway. Long form writing is a test of endurance and sustained consistency, and youngins rarely havee the requisite brain development to see it through. Although they can master the short forms, poems, stories, novellas and the like they lack the discipline for something more sustained.

>>17631845
The same way you get rid of any bad habit. Catch yourself in the act and stop yourself before you do it

"AY YO FUCK 12 NIGGA WHY YA'LL FINNA RUN UP ON ME?"

>>17632559
Thank you for your encouragement fren

There we have it lads. The first arc is DONE.

Front page:
https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/37998/wish-mountain

Latest (and final of the arc) chapter!

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/37998/wish-mountain/chapter/636818/the-trial-of-hress-dunter-chapter-seven

The second arc getting underway next week I imagine.

What if I just drop out and cloister myself for a year?

I'm still working out the entire plot of my story, here's what I have as far as the opening goes.
> An incident happened many years that caused certain people known as the Dreamless (In this setting, people who acquire powers following a vision in their sleep without actually seeing themselves get it) to go berserk, threatening to bring destruction.
> A group of heroes were ordered by a mysterious king to travel to a castle and slay the evil king dwelling there to save the land
> They did so and the incidents stopped, and the villagers at the final village before the evil king's castle were especially grateful
> In the present, there's a girl living at the outskirts of the village because she's one such Dreamless. She helps clean a statue made in appreciation of the heroes because this day is an important anniversary
> She returns at dusk after everyone's gone away, only to spy a golden-haired boy kneeling at the statue, as if he's afraid to face them
> She then overhears him asking the statue why did they kill his father and take his happiness away
I had initially planned this to be more like a revenge story, but I feel like it's more natural that such a protagonist would be less angry and more lost, which in turn would lead to him wanting companionship. Which do you think flows better?

>>17633604
You're doing things in the wrong order sir. The thing you're asking us to choose between is what your story is about. You need to ask yourself what you want to write a story about, then rewrite the backstory if it doesn't support that theme properly. Doing it the other way around simply does not make sense.

>>17631899
>"Exquisite, isn't she?" he remarked admiring the plump figure of Venus in his hand.
>"Stolen would be what I'd call it" the restrained agent retorted.
>"Well not to worry," he replied, "The Museum can have her back once I'm done. In approximately," he glanced at his watch, "27 minutes, every last woman on Earth will resemble her."
>"You're mad!", the agent snapped.
>"No, Agent X," he paused briefly,"I'm the only one still sane."

>>17633647
Ah, thanks. I've been stuck here for quite a while not just because the tone here dictates the challenges ahead but also because there's a bit of foreshadowing about the co-protagonist in the sense that the protagonist isn't the only character here who lost everything.
Since my premise is about an orphaned boy who understands nothing and wants to find out why his father was killed, I guess the one that works better is the latter.

>3 hours (incl. 2 hours of procrastination)
>229 words
i'll post them soon, insallah

>>17634364
>tfw 800 words in two back-to-back 15 min writing sprints
>>17626853
>>17626886
try it out fren, it might just be what you need.

>>17634651
thanks for the tip

I'm writing a fantasy book that takes place in not!France like how most take place in not!England. But what should I do if I want to use phrases like 'c'est bon' or 'je ne sais quois?' Ostensibly, these characters are speaking "french" translated for the reader's benefit anyway, so leaving untranslated phrases from that language doesn't make sense, does it?

I think I'm just overthinking the 'translation convention' thing and I probably know what I'm doing already, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to ask.

I don’t like that OP doesn’t even give the generals character. They just want to post anime girls. It’s always the same “any progress on your novels?” No silly “______ edition” no change to the sticky resources. Nothing. Why would you purposefully take on the responsibility of making new threads of you aren’t going to improve them or make it fun?

>>17634740
It used to always be that one guy's Vtuber waifu. It was cringe but at least it was something

>>17634754
Youd also think someone would have made a paste bin link to some of the good posts about publishing and theory we have had in the past year.

>Have an idea for a story
>Can only imagine it as a movie
>No idea how to transfer it to a book

I'm a hack, but does anyone else?

If someone wanted to write something like Homestuck, even with all its developmental twists and turns, including the musical and artistic collaboration elements, capturing that same "feeling", would it be possible in 2021? Why or why not? For better or worse?

>>17634808
what's the idea?
>inb4 oh no I could never share its super secret even though apparently it can't be turned into a book. which is dumb as fuck, if you can visualize it as a movie of course it can be done as a book

>>17634808
You watch the movie and describe what happens. That's what I do, no need to make it more complicated.

>>17634808
Just make movies if you don't like novels.

>>17634866
>Woman goes on a blind date
>Dude stops for gas
>Shoots up the gas station and leaves
>She is non the wiser
>Has a date with dude
>Police surround the building
>She is hostage

That is as far as I have gotten with the idea.
It's not the best, but I think I could make it work. Or you, I don't care.

>>17635001
do this >>17634882

>>17633548
Depends how old you are.

>>17634808
Read more books so you can imagine things as books

>>17634829
Homestuck sucks fuck off already

>>17635001
I guess the important question for the book would be: only 1 POV character, the woman, or 2, with the man as well? then you need to figure out the motivation for him doing that. which could be left a mystery to be revealed over the course of the book. why he does it before a blind date is anyone's guess. and why a gas station? who knows.
also, a blind date will always be somewhere public. women, in general, aren't stupid when it comes to their own safety, she's not going to meet some guy she's never met somewhere without a lot of people. sure there are bleeding heart retards who go off to the congo and end up getting butchered, but there's a reason they end up on the news. So she wouldn't be the only hostage. This guy had better either be a criminal mastermind or complete psychopath to do something like this. All depends if you want the reader to sympathize with him or not.

>>17630778
Can't you just foreshadow him or have him dangling over in the darkness to increase tension and curiosity?

>>17632559
>muh societal obligations

>completely deadpan prose
>physically incapable of metaphor
>very calm and dry narrative with little description and no dialogue besides the very end
>the arch bureaucrat laughs about how one of his secretaries, which he treats as sex slaves, died during a karate abortion near the end
Is this too edgy and off tone? I feel it fits with how a detached self-absorbed mandarin who served a series of tyrants might behave but I also feel it'd be really off putting to fling at reader near the end of a story where even the MC's visual appearance goes by unmentioned

>>17635178
He's basically a devil who's taken over the pope. My MC doesn't have much of a reason to know the pope. I could just allude to him, but what I came up with allows me to introduce him separate from the whole pope thing for now. I think it lets me lash the climax, where they'll actually meet, to the plot starting from a sturdier point.

>>17635256
But the Pope is already the antichrist!
Hmm then, I kind of assume that the goons would have been working with him
If he's the devil, you should definitely give him a more active presence, he's always a fun character to read and write

>>17628804
"I wiped the blade against my jeans and walked into the bar. It was mid-afternoon, very hot and still. The bar was deserted. I ordered a whiskey. The barman looked at the blood and asked:

‘God?’

‘Yeah.’

‘S’pose it’s time someone finished that hypocritical little punk, always bragging about his old man’s power…’

He smiled crookedly, insinuatingly, a slight nausea shuddered through me. I replied weakly:

‘It was kind of sick, he didn’t fight back or anything, just kept trying to touch me and shit, like one of those dogs that try to fuck your leg. Something in me snapped, the whingeing had ground me down too low. I really hated that sanctimonious little creep.’

‘So you snuffed him?’

‘Yeah, I’ve killed him, knifed the life out of him, once I started I got frenzied, it was an ecstasy, I never knew I could hate so much.’

I felt very calm, slightly light-headed. The whisky tasted good, vaporizing in my throat. We were silent for a few moments. The barman looked at me levelly, the edge of his eyes twitching slightly with anxiety:

There’ll be trouble though, don’tcha think?’

‘I don’t give a shit, the threats are all used up, I just don’t give a shit.’

‘You know what they say about his old man? Ruthless bastard they say. Cruel…’

‘I just hope I’ve hurt him, if he even exists.’

‘Woulden wanna cross him merself,’ he muttered.

I wanted to say ‘yeah, well that’s where we differ’, but the energy for it wasn’t there. The fan rotated languidly, casting spidery shadows across the room. We sat in silence a little longer. The barman broke first:

‘So God’s dead?’

‘If that’s who he was. That fucking kid lied all the time. I just hope it’s true this time.’

The barman worked at one of his teeth with his tongue, uneasily:

‘It’s kindova big crime though, isn’t it? You know how it is, when one of the cops goes down and everything’s dropped ’til they find the guy who did it. I mean, you’re not just breaking a law, your breaking LAW.’

I scraped my finger along my jeans, and suspended it over the bar, so that a thick clot of blood fell down into my whisky, and dissolved. I smiled:

‘Maybe it’s a big crime,’ I mused vaguely ‘but maybe it’s nothing at all…’ ‘…and we have killed him’ writes Nietzsche, but—destituted of community—I crave a little time with him on my own.

In perfect communion I lick the dagger foamed with God’s blood."

>>17635322
Edgy

Chapter 14 dropped, next one is going to be on Sunday. Shilling it here because why not.
https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/40361/erased
Hope your time writing is productive.

>>17635281
I'm not writing anything poignant enough for it to be the real pope or the Christian devil. It's all made-up fantasy stuff; the pope and the devil are just easy comparisons for what I'm doing without getting into the fantasy bullshit. I won't feel confident writing about the real devil until I think I can do it as well as Peace, which will probably never happen.

>>17629246
>>17629256
>>17629266
It's alright. Honestly, this isn't a place to get feedback and unless you spice it up with some N-words or the obscene stiff

>>17635590
I'll give it a look anon
I just got scared because I saw a lot of words on the literature board

>>17635590
Your concern should not be the speed of the dialogue, that's pretty solid in my view
They feel like they're different people talking for one, it doesn't feel like it's one guy talking to himself which is a big problem in many works
Your problem is that you have too many useless words that don't really enhance the in-between or tell us much anything, they just make it feel much slower
For a challenge, can you try to write the scene in such a way that you can fit it in ONE screenshot rather than three?
I think you'll see the benefits yourself once you reread it and compare it to what you've already posted
The most obvious example is right at the start
Most people think of logs as motionless things, you don't need to clarify that it's equally motionless
In and of itself that's a very trivial detail but you do it a lot

>>17635590
>It's alright. Honestly
ty
>this isn't a place to get feedback and unless you spice it up with some N-words or the obscene stiff
nty
>>17635673
>the speed of the dialogue, that's pretty solid in my view
ok
>For a challenge, can you try to write the scene in such a way that you can fit it in ONE screenshot rather than three?
I was even thinking of making it longer! What do you mean?
>The most obvious example is right at the start
>Most people think of logs as motionless things, you don't need to clarify that it's equally motionless
>In and of itself that's a very trivial detail but you do it a lot
You know, i see what you mean and i'll look into changing that but i feel like it's part of what makes my writing mine, i am used to writing poetry that does this a lot (i like repetition). But i'll give it a reread and see what i can do, thx for the feedback fren.

>>17635723
In prose, the only time I've seen someone pull off repetition successfully is Livy with
Te tero Roma nuda date tela la tete. Be very careful with it, while being completely dry is very boring, economy is important when writing prose
You are after all striving to convince the reader to read hundreds of pages, not a poem
If you're creative with it though, it can be very fun no doubt

Anyone ever read writing without teachers? Found a pdf on bunkerchan.

https://bunkerchan.net/.media/12f6311fc197772d42d016b93ea03eac52179d7b2ab2be9ae13eb7d3b74428bc.pdf

How did humans come up with the word 'human' for their name? I'm trying to think what other species would call themselves.

>>17635413
Does a character in your story become a girl? it seems to be implied in your synopsis.

How the fuck do I use animal motifs and make it clear who they are connected to?

I'm hoping you used ' instead of " for dialogue because you're actually smart and put the entire block in quotes, though I think that's unnecessary in the first place. I also really dislike the colon and line break thing you do. Is that some kind of rainbow road formatting?

how to find names that are neither too plain nor too extraordinary

>>17636969
Who are you replying to?

>>17636984
Whoops.

>>17635322
I'm hoping you used ' instead of " for dialogue because you're actually smart and put the entire block in quotes, though I think that's unnecessary in the first place. I also really dislike the colon and line break thing you do. Is that some kind of rainbow road formatting?

>>17636699
Yes, the main character. It takes ten chapters to get there, but that's where it ends up. Basically it starts off like a typical sort of fantasy, but there are huge hints that everything's not normal by like chapter 3. Chapter 10 reveals they're on a space station on some planet/moon in the far flung middle of nowhere. The guy has been there for years, he maintains the mining equipment and other stuff on the base. Shift schedule is 5 day cycles, 2 days on, 18 hour shifts, 3 days off. Their off time is in VR because there's no room otherwise. Some shit happens, he gets tricked, and he's put in a dead girl in chapter 11. He doesn't realize she was dead until Chapter 13. Not even considering that a spoiler because the chapter is out and the why she ended up dead is whats actually important and that gets answered conclusively in chapter ~48. Chapters 11 through 32 ish are the 6 days of scheduled vacation time, basically the first Act of the book.
I don't want to say the MC is a complete psychopath, she'd disagree with the word complete at least, just no compunction against murder and violence, and with an axe to grind for several reasons. So you get the fun fish out of water type situations when she's meeting her new friends and going out with them. There's a scene in a salon. All the NPCs know exactly who she is - at least until chapter maybe mid 30's - and needless to say their reactions range from cautious to scared shitless.

>>17636977
Call him Pikmin Eric.

>>17636977
By using a name generator and then picking names you like that are generated from it.

>>17637035
>she'd disagree
He will never be a woman, and neither will you tranny

>>17637035
So your story is about a guy who has vacations being a bit of a psycho in VR between working on a space ship? Is that the gist of it?

does anyone have experience with dictating a novel? i'm trying it out and the speed is great but it feels like the style shifts and becomes poorer quality, maybe that's something that experience helps with though

>>17637046
yeah that's a good idea. thanks.

>>17637056
I agree. There are several very explicit anti trans passages. The book makes it very clear that men and women are very different. Thus the title, erased. Also there's an anti abortion passage too I couldn't help but put in.
>>17637058
except the time dedicated to being outside is practically nil. no one wants to read about soul sucking drudgery drinking recycled nasty tasting water, and cardboard flavored nutrition bars while being in hell.

>>17637138
Inserting your politics into a story that directly is just gay whether it's SJW or /pol/ or anything else.

Been really wanting to try out omniscient narration. I'm aware of the basic rules, but are there any modern books written in this style that anons would recommend I check out? Most omniscient stories I've read are older 19th century stuff, so think of books published in the last five years.

>>17637138
I would totally love to read about that. I hope you include that stuff in the story just to create a narrative balance between drudgery and wish fulfilment. Very cool concept!

>>17637153
its there, but in 200k words its about 2k of them. people are tricked and sent out there, and find out its nothing like what they thought when they get there
>>17637147
>if you have a message in your book its bad
nope

>>17637185
The message should be evident by the story told, not just passages where the narrator or a character rambles about their opinion for a few minutes.

>>17637196
This is, by far, the most on the nose I get in the whole book. They're talking about something else, of course.
>Start with a circle. It represents wholeness of being. Completeness. Make the edges thick. You have to start with the intact shape first and then remove chunks in various places. Mutilate it. Desecrate it. Leave edges rough and allow for split ends. Its not even about removing more, its about creating ugliness and dissonance. Forcing something once whole and beautiful to cry out spiritually and emotionally for its own destruction. To want to be removed, to demand it. Sometimes things become so perverted and corrupt that doing this is a mercy. But, I beg you, please only use this as a last resort."
>The circle he'd drawn was left with jagged missing patches and thorny, cancerous growths. Scars from denying its own form and function, either out of illness or delusion, leaving the universe with little choice but to put it out of its misery in order to save it from itself. And, more importantly, to stop the cancerous spread. The removal quieting its internal strife, creating a sort of catharsis. The leftover gap of sorrow and self hate quickly being filled with relief, leaving everything, ultimately, better off for the excision.

>>17629246
I didn't get the chance to read the full thing anon, but here's what stuck out to me.
>...scratched his backside with, bushy eyebrows lifting...
I would make it a new sentence after "with." You use "hope" three times in the next sentence which sounds a little awkward.
>While rubbing the dust off from his spectacles Master Carpenter Grey mumbled things Pilgrim couldn't understand, as far as everyone knew nobody in Littledale spoke another language yet Pilgrim nodded and waited...
Again, this sentence runs on way too long, you should end it after "couldn't understand." Repeating Pilgrim's name twice in the same sentence also feels awkward.
>"I agree.". With
Should be formatted like;
>"I agree." With
Overall I'd work on breaking up those run on sentences and being more concise in your language. I think you're off to a really good start, though.

Struggling with the idea of trying to make a universal translator more "realistic." Or more universal is probably a better way to put it. Let's say you're trying to communicate with a deaf person. Is there any logical way for a universal translator to deal with something like that, or would the deaf listener need special glasses that translate the other person's words as text and her person trying to read the sign language would also need ocular implants to 'read' the sign language and translate that to verbal words?

I thought about translating it on the speaker's end into a version of a common tongue, but that would mean you'd be hearing yourself speak twice, which would be disorienting as fuck. What about a more low-tech solution for non-verbal species, like a sophisticated form of text messaging or Stephen Hawking's 'voice?' Direct brain implants/downloads that don't 'translate it' but basically teach you every known language?

>>17635963
>>17635963
>How did humans come up with the word 'human' for their name? I'm trying to think what other species would call themselves.

"Human" arguably ultimately derives from the indo-european term for "of the earth" i.e. "earthling". I would recommend looking up the origins of ethnonyms. Peoples named themselves after gods (langobards), cities (romans), mythological progenitors (hellenes), and terms that just mean "the people" (e.g. dutch from dietsc from theudo from from proto-indo european tewteh). Wiktionary might help you.

>>17630779
>I would argue otherwise because it helps to see the world through the killer's eyes and have an understanding and appeal.
No anon, it doesn't. Not at all. It helps to see inside the mind of a cringelord middle schooler.

currently doing the meme of "just fucking write 1000 words a day" after a hiatus of about 4 weeks. its working pretty well atm. hoping completing the first draft through this metod. stressed about continuing and reworking everything

>>17637657
>he fell for the "just write meme"
Good for you anon, glad to hear your making progress

>>17637693
writing is a meme

Is it possible to make your MC a 'chosen one' without it immediately being young adult garbage?

>>17638090
yeah make the chosen one role something that you have to become rather than something you're born into

>>17638090
>using tropes without having a narrative/thematic reason
Yeah probably i dunno just write

>>17637358
My sentences are long? I keep seeing sentence length as a dick measuring competition, at least i thought so since i was young. Thanks for the feedback fren.

How do I get into poetry? I've never written a poem before.

>>17638140
Remember all those stupid haikus and poems they forced onto you in school? Just do those.

idea 1: hardboiled detective novel set on an island that is sinking due to global warming

idea 2: a disease that makes everyone skin and bones. some fatties are immune

>>17638220
Ok? Write them.

>>17638090
Of course, chosen ones happen all the time in mythology but they have to live up to the task.

>>17638114
But shitposting is so much easier.

Seed of an idea for some fat fetish smut that I wrote in about 10 minutes. Sadly no one in the fetish community can write worth a shit and I'm certainly no exception.


“Hmm... the pig thief returns, Moonlight”, the old woman muttered, “ perhaps he means to take more from us.”

The cat hissed angrily before leaping from its resting place beside the rocking chair into the old woman’s lap.

He fell to his knees with hands clasped, his trousers becoming drenched in mud. “DAMN IT WITCH I BEG OF YOU, FREE ME FROM THIS FOUL CURSE!”

“I shall not”, she cackled gleefully. The pitch black cat meowed loudly as if in agreement.

“I am but a poor farmer”, he pleaded, reaching into his coat pocket and offering the handful of shabby coins he had brought with him. “I have but a few coppers left to my name. Take them and leave us be.”

With surprising quickness the hunched old figure raised a gnarled walking cane and struck his outstretched hands. He cried out in pain as the coins fell into the mud.

“It tells tales of poverty” she hissed, “Yet I am but a poor old woman much the same and it thought nothing of stealing from me! The curse shall remain upon it and all its children and grandchildren. It wanted a pig for nothing and so pigs it shall have for all time. It should thank whichever of the false gods it prays to that I am kind and fair in my old age, and did not inflict a far worse punishment.”

>>17628804
Got my first poem published last week, redrafting my novel for potential publication. Feels good man.

>>17638220
Idea 1 sounds badass. It also sounds like a good title.

>>17638220
Does the second one lead to an obesocracy?

>>17637601
Cringe would be some little shit going on about how superior he is while demeaning God and espousing dead end nihilism. My Character goes on about the importance of creation and how the culture and time and culture has changed so radically the he might be one day revered as a martyr or saint.

>>17637601
Cringe would be some little shit going on about how superior he is while demeaning God and espousing dead end nihilism. My Character goes on about the importance of creation and how the culture and time has changed so radically the he might be one day revered as a martyr or saint.

Screaming erupted into the stillness of the night, making me snap my head to the gas station to see a figure running out into the night; Leaving footprints in a liquid that was illuminated from the streetlight. I took a moment's glance to see it was blood before I burst into the station, the ringer going off. I was greeted with a vision straight from Hell itself. There were so many bare legs hanging from the ceiling, flailing and kicking. It looked as though they had grown from the ceiling instead of a forced entry. I was in such a shock that I couldn't remember if there had been customers, as I looked down beneath the legs at the small puddles of blood. Some of which had footprints dashed across them, leading away from the cashier huddled in the corner to the doors. The cashier's back was facing me.

Reason told me to run. Reason told me there was no helping the cashier. Whatever was happening was beyond the mortal realm of matters.

But at the same time something clicked inside me, something more powerful then reason that compelled me forward across the gore streaked floor. I dodged and maneuvered through the flailing limbs to the cashier and when I was close enough, I knelt and put a hand on their shoulder. It didn't surprise me my hand was firm and strong instead of limp and quaking. But I felt my heart swell with emotion as I stared at the faceless cashier looking back at me.

"Pros...Prosperine took...took...," She had stuttered.

Before the station's ringer went off.

I immediately turned to see a figure in a long white trench coat standing in the doorway. Long raven black hair hung loose down it's gore streaked coat as it took it's hood off to reveal a feminine face that evoked the word Hesperides. The two small but razor sharp horns on it's skull did not detract but magnified it's beauty. I felt my heart swell achingly again at the mere sight of the figure.

"I almost forgot your lily blue eyes," Three voices spoke at once from it's thin, blood red lips, as it gazed at the cashier.

Before turning that gaze to me. One corner of those blood red lips curved upward into what looked like a crooked smile as a third horn rose between the two smaller ones. At the tip of the third horn was an open eye that didn't just look at me. It felt as though it were looking into my very soul, seeing all my memories, and feeling all my emotions. Searching. It must have found what it was looking for as the figure's lips turned into a full smile.

"Do you want to live?" It asked.

The masculine part of the three voices was dominant in that simple question. A very simple yes or no question that barely reached to me in my current state of...was it fear or maybe even excitement? I didn't care which it was. And I-

"I don't care," I had finally said in a calm voice as I looked from it's third eye to it's two magnificent fiery yellow eyes.

>>17638515
I stared into those eyes, unflinching, almost forgetting everything until it pointed one clawed finger at the hanging limbs. I looked at them to see they weren't flailing anymore. And slowly one of them begin to fall to the floor with a thud. And then one by one they began to fall. I braced myself against the ones above me and flung them off before quickly looking back the door way to see the figure was gone.

I heard a sickly crunching nose and looked back at the casher and saw that she was impaled by one of the limbs sharp bone piercing completely out of the back side of her head. I watched almost without a single emotion as she tried to pry it out of her head before the movements became weaker and weaker and finally stopped as she gurgled up blood and fell back against the wall.

Almost without a single emotion but the sudden fiery burn in my chest that I needed to engage in as I stood up and waded through the limbs to the doors. The ringer went off as I stepped out into the cold night and was greeted with fresh cold air. I looked around desperately before seeing the figure standing by the street light, patiently waiting. I felt my heart swell achingly again and the emotion set afire as it raised it's clawed hand and waved invitingly at me.

I stared into Prosperine's fiery yellow eyes, never feeling as calm as then, and took it's invitation into a world beyond our own as I begin to walk to it.

End/

>>17635243
More like
>Muh money to survive

If anyone has the time, I'd love some feedback on this section my short story.

>>17638401
Nice premise, I kind of like it.

Some of us fatfags aren't bad writers, actually.

>spend months writing outline, never start writing
>give up on project
>months later, say fuck it and just start writing another project without outlining
>26k words in
oh god I'm a pantser and I'm probably going to have to edit the fuck out of my work when I reread it and discover its a fucking mess
please kill me

I need to find a writing discord but /lit/ is such a toxic cesspool I'm afraid to ask here, and /r/writing has a strict rule against asking for discords

>>17638611
Why would you need a writing discord?

>>17638611
https://discord.gg/rZpsypWU

With writing as in life it really does benefit to say more with less.

For example, in this story I'm working on a couple is breaking up. One of them is contrite, wishing to apologize to the other and basically says "what can I do to show that I do appreciate you?" in so many words.

In the first crack at it I wrote out this whole diatribe, a real rambling chore of a laundry list. Then I read it over and deleted everything except the first two sentences, which somehow resonated to me with the finality of the bass drums that will fill the soundtrack of the apocalypse. Two sentences which somehow brought everything to a close, sealed every gap, balanced the cosmos.

"You don't have to do anything. Just remember me."

>>17638611
Is there any reason to use Discord or Reddit for anything other than shameless extra self-shilling?

>>17638513
Lots of things can be cringe. The cringe in your story is so self-evident that it almost defies description. Its like trying to convince someone that the color green is green. Literally nothing in your story was well-conceived or competently-executed. But let's focus on your philosophy for a moment and see how it relates to dead-end nihilism.
Apparently your protagonist is of the opinion that art is meaningless because it is often forgotten and because interpretations change over time and so he has chosen a different medium to express his creativity and make an impact on the world. His medium is human flesh. Apparently he is fond of canoes and is quite handy at making them out of people. He believes that making canoes out of human flesh is his ticket to philosophical immortality. Sorry man, but after the Holocaust and Jeffrey Dahmer and the Trans Rights movement, making weird shit out of human bodies just doesn't quite hit like it used to. His images will live on in leaked photographs, blah blah blah, yeah I'm sure it would but this is supposed to surpass 'art' as a medium, so it should at the very least be more memorable than, say, Star Wars which very much already enjoys that type of popularity. That's literally the beginning and the end of it, as it is written. Boiling that down into one sentence:
>I will become famous by killing people, and there is no way anyone could possibly misinterpret my flesh canoes, so people will still look at my art the way it was intended in a thousand years.
This is a man who serves the most base goal: his own reputation. He considers his art better than all art which has ever come before it. Yeah, no superiority complex there.
Now consider dead-end nihilism. God is dead, we have killed him, there is now a pit in our lives which would have previously been filled with religion. Now we find new religions in politics etc but these are ultimately unfulfilling because they relate to issues of life and therefore they are destined to fail in a way which God never could. Therefore the enlightened man can find no peace, for he sees his life as an endless circle of bafflement and toil with no relief beyond eventual oblivion. Maybe it's not the best answer to the question of our life's purpose, but it has a certain grounding in reality and logic which "kill people to get famous" does not. It is a philosophy which serves the search for truth and meaning, not a hamfisted attempt at getting someone's name in the headlines.

>>17638642
>>17638692

I need a discord because like 4chan they are more fast-paced, linear and accessible than other kinds of online writing communities, but unlike 4chan some of them have people on them aren't CHUDs

>>17638708
It's obvious from your simplification it passed right over your head. It's also funny you cry about superiority while trying to sound verbose. Anyone could see the darkness for what it is but it takes a certain characteristic in a person to see the piercing light in creation. It may not make sense to you but it does to me and expressing it in my own original way is it's own reward.

>>17638676
That's a stellar last line Anon. Keep it and use it where it has meaning

>>17638587
>oh god I'm a pantser
I don't what it is about writing jargon that pisses me off so much. "I'm a pantser" "I'm more of a gardener than a discoverer" Maybe because it sounds like self-labeling horoscope nonsense, like when people call themselves empaths or go on about their MBTI score as if it's their entire personality. Maybe it's because trying to stuff yourself into one category or the other will limit your self-expression, and the last thing the world really needs right now is another box-ticker giving out by-the-numbers advice and asking "is it okay if i..." on every goddamned writing forum. Maybe because this particular word "pantser" sounds childish and has slight connotations of committing minor sex crimes. Maybe I'm just an asshole who hates people that are different than me. Maybe it's all of that?

>>17638823
>"pantser" sounds childish and has slight connotations of committing minor sex crimes.

>>17638779
>asks for crit
>nah bro you just dont get it, it went over your head
>im just doing things my own original way, don't be a hater
Egofags get the rope. If you don't give a shit about feedback and just want validation get a twitter

>>17638823
It's because self identity is a dumb meme. People let all themselves be debased to the limits of these labels because they're validation addicts
Who = what for the layman. Fuck egofags

>>17638839
That first piece earlier was a solid criticism that made me actually think of ways to develop from there. The post I was responding to was just a thinly veiled attack on the character's creation.

>>17638542
>Some of us fatfags aren't bad writers, actually.
Can I see some examples?

>>17638779
>It's obvious from your simplification it passed right over your head.
Bro, it was thin air. I might be willing to entertain the thought that there was something deeper going on, but given that this "philosophy" was espoused alongside softcore lesbian porn and an image of a demon literally ripped from the back of some greasy goth kid's sketchbook, I'm leaning towards the idea that you're an idiot who has no idea what the hell he is talking about.
But I'm willing to be open-minded. Explain to me what exactly I got wrong about your character's worldview, supported with quotes from your story. I promise I am fully prepared to consider what you have to say.

>>17638880
The killer doesn't kill for the thrill of pain, he looks at people as though they're pieces of a grand design that could be molded and melded into something more into a tapestry. The canoe was only an example of ingenuity. Hence
>But the truth of the matter is I just love carving the human body into my pieces of art. I love expressing the limitations of mortal flesh

He chooses predators like the pedophile going after the teenage girls because
>predators are sometimes the more easy prey, especially when they're too enslaved by their vices to not indulge the demon knocking at their door.
>Something about defiling predators had never failed to bring out the best inspiration in me


Power over predators is an enticing thought to the killer because he asserts his dominance over them, alongside what he'll create from them.
>Maybe because it was the time old adage "might makes right".

>>17638862
I've shared this on /lit/ before:

https://pastebin.com/yBXGhGys

Rate this passage

>I paused. "What smells like skeletons?" I turned to see Emma running towards me pursued by skeletons. "Oh fuck, skeletons!"

am i allowed to use this general and /ic/ at the same time or is that forbidden here

>>17639131
The fuck takes away from it. I would prefer if it were
>"Are those skeletons?"

>>17639187
Do not cross the streams, that's hella gay

>>17639187
I'm confused. is there a write thread on /ic/ or something? Why is this even a question?

Only punched in 800ish words today. I got a bit stuck on a flashback that needs to happen. I'm going to try to visualize it as I fall asleep, write whatever vague mess of it I can tomorrow, then fix up the exposition in editing.

Is there anyway to make duty driven characters more likable? The only examples I can think of is the extreme case of the space marines, where they are so over the top it's endearing, and then the very mild case of Hank Hill who kinda just lives by his own rules that are so random and trivial it's also endearing. It seems like everything else just tries to knock them off their high horse.

>>17638724
A lot of authors didn't use it. I think you're just a failure.

>>17639526
Duty to do what? Defend one's country? Then a character who's smart enough to find and negate threats can be interesting.

For example, one of my characters has a duty to defend both the country and its secrets, so he's a role model that promotes good will with academy tournaments while executing foreign exiles that might run their mouth.

How to describe your love of a city?

>>17639587
i hate cities

>>17639593
But I love mine, and wish to make it known in the narrative to emphasize the homesickness of being away from it.

>>17639587
>>17639603
You've never described anything before? The questions I see posted on this board on a daily basis is concerning. I'm shaking my head desu.

>>17639613
Thanks, that helped a lot.

>>17639587
Try reading The Improvisatore. It's full with a love for Italy

>>17639587
Historical, or nostalgic memories?

>>17639627
You're asking how to describe something. You have bigger problems to worry about.

>>17639587
I only know contempt for cities. My heart is with the countryside.
I can tell you all about how to describe hate for cities if you like, or fondness of the country.

how retarded is my idea. I feel like it may be getting out of hand

>Two species of aliens are waging a pointless intergalactic war for thousands of years, their advanced technology being outpaced by their efforts to delve into occult magic [space flight powered by portals to hell, astral projection espionage, etc] in order to be the one to kill the other and enslave god or something.

this is not what the story is about.

>in a lonely gas station on a long, very empty stretch of road in arizona a man with no soul is employed
>he works a pointless job and literally has no soul, on account of being one of two clones of a prior, especially competent gas station employee but you cannot clone a soul
>ruminates on how detached he feels from reality while dealing with zany supernatural happenings
>eventually culminates in being faced with whether to choose life or death, leaning over a muddy puddle in the middle of the desert, deciding whether to drink or die.
>does he feel like he is supposed to do this? should he reject this?
>he chooses life and kills his boss who threw him out into the desert after he finds out he was a clone
>takes over the place, which turns out to be neutral ground for the two warring empires, who are barely really present, save for some supernatural crap here and there
>dude embraces life and learns to be happy.
>Eventually.

the very gist of course, I did not want to drag this post out.

>>17640419
where would the action take place in this story? would it all happen in the gas station? What I imagine is some strange customer coming in during the witching hour when your protagonist has his shift, but that can't be all you're doing. Maybe you have classic americana settings, like a wild west town or a touristy roswell kind of place. You kind of have to reference Roswell if you're doing aliens in Arizona, right? How do you expect the audience to be engaged with a main character that doesn't have a soul, wouldn't his interactions get kind of same-y? What if he has the barest inclination of a soul instead, and has a passion for something kind of idiosyncratic or old fashioned - I'm thinking of how in Wall-E the robot liked old show tunes, and that was enough to form a bond between him and the audience. Maybe his secret passion will be the thing that guides him to drink from the water hole in the desert, his little scrap of humanity makes him want to live. Anyhow that's my two cents. Like even within the framework of the soulless process of human cloning some vitality shows through, a lust for life that pops and sparks from within a crushing, late-night gas station job in the desert

>>17640513
wait fuck, Roswell is in New Mexico, isn't it? What the fuck am I even talking about

Italian anon here
Writing my first novel, going at a writing academia.
I'm writing only in italian, It's a story about a misogynist who ends up married.
Can I post it in italian?

>>17640553
Sure, I'll try to read using my Spanish

Friendly reminder to aspiring fantasy or sci-fi authors: do not frontload your book with too much worldbuilding or too many made up words. And especially do not put a direct English equivalent right after the made up word, making it pointless to even use.

If you absolutely must use a made up word, (and there are times this is the case.) and if you can’t give enough context clues for a reader to understand it without providing an explicit definition, you are a bad writer.

Finally put together a full draft on my travels in France. It's 10k. Pretty long. If anyone else has travel writing or anything of a similar style (meandering thoughts and anecdotes inspired by experiences abroad), let me know, I'd like to see it.

>https://larthurhunt.files.wordpress.com/2021/02/france_-no-slogans-.pdf

How can I write a story about a character that ends up going on a journey without making the first chapter a snoozefest? The idea would be that they're rather well-off but then get everything taken away from them. But it's kinda hard to write an exciting introduction when the character is basically happy and has no real conflicts. Wat do?

>>17641222
Start in medias res.

>>17630200
11k words in
>Fuck - 51
>Shit - 0
>Bitch - 47
>Bastard - 85
>Piss - 0
>Ass - 0
>Damn - 187
>Nigger - 875

>>17641222
Strategies for making sure people don't drop your novel immediately
1. End every chapter, including the first, on a cliffhanger. There doesn't need to be conflict for this but there does need to be mystery. GRRM is the biggest proponent of this. In Game of Thrones, IIRC he did it by revealing the miraculous albino wolf in the last line.
2. Know how the story is going to end for the main characters. Introduce them by the flaws and misbeliefs that will make their endings thematic.
3. Allude to the weightier external events that are going to become sources of conflict. Give an idea of the sort of conflict they will create. Your readers will understand.
4. Be witty. If your story can hold it, some humor or whimsy or insightful observations from the narrator character can carry you a little bit.

The creature surveyed the terrified schoolgirls for a moment before a grin began to spread across its face revealing rows of fangs. "Someone fucked up", it declared menacingly, "now who's getting raped first?"

>>17641350
Please post more.

Are there any 'decent' writing discord/groups?
They don't have to be /lit/ related, but anything not full of pandering writers.

>>17630200
>>Fuck - 0
>>Shit - 5
>>Bitch - 0
>>Bastard - 1
>>Piss - 0
>>Ass - 0
>>Damn - 4

>>17641574
First, read the thread. Second, no. All are terrible. The only reason someone attaches a name to what they post is because they want attention and clout. Any discord server is full of panderers by design/definition.

>>17640756
>And especially do not put a direct English equivalent right after the made up word, making it pointless to even use.
>If you absolutely must use a made up word, (and there are times this is the case.) and if you can’t give enough context clues for a reader to understand it without providing an explicit definition, you are a bad writer.
This makes me feel a little better about myself. I sometimes use made up alien words but I never give the translation, I just let people assume what it means.
It’s almost always a curse word, though.

>>17641574
No. I was a part of one for several years but the people (particularly the mods, banning literally fucking everyone with no second chances) got on my nerves and I bailed. This thread is much better and more sane.

>>17628804
スバル助かる

>>17641222
have them be worried about something totally inconsequential. like, overly worried. like his mother in law is coming in and he's trying to get everything correct and his wife is nagging him and the phone won't stop ringing with solicitors. and then yank the rug out. and consequently everything he was worried about is small potatoes

I'd like to shill this writing productivity software Concordance. It was developed by genius-tier physicist David Deutsch. Basically what it does is scans your writing and parses all the redundant phrases in it counting how many times you repeat them. It's really useful!

It helps you to vary your usages and stop using verbal false limbs such as "be that as it may" or "that is to say" or whatever. Unfortunately you must be a mac fag to use it because it is only written for MacOS

http://www.daviddeutsch.org.uk/concordance/

>>17641680
Amab

>>17641771
Oh and it's free btw

>>17641334
These are really good tips and I need to re plan out everything I’ve ever written.

>>17641771
>OSX
Ok but is there a version for straight people?

>>17641334
Not that anon but this is fantastic!

>>17641773
Assigned male at birth?

>>17641614
Curse words are one thing. But I will immediately drop your book if your first few pages have anything resembling, “I watched the jungars (children who had not passed the rite of manhood) playing.”

>>17641908
Yeah, there are no children in anything I’ve written, because I hate kids, so there won’t be any of that.

>>17641334
nigga did you really just take the first google result

>>17642103
i got plenty of children in my stuff cause i hate them too and want to torture them

Why is my main character so fucking uninteresting?

>>17643087
Because you based him off yourself

>>17643087
no tension, no motivation, they don't care strongly about things

>>17642861
Based

>>17643098
Nah, not at all. Though I don't feel a drive for most things in life so I think that kinda shows.
>>17643126
Yes. But I find it hard sometimes to imagine why and what a character would feel strongly about. if some person has their basic needs met, how can they really feel strongly about some meaningless shit?

>>17643193
>you based him off yourself
>no, though I don't feel a drive for most things in life so I think that kinda shows
>Yes. But I find it hard sometimes to imagine why and what a character would feel strongly about. if some person has their basic needs met, how can they really feel strongly about some meaningless shit?
So you based him off yourself. If your main character doesn't want to do anything why are you even writing a story? Sounds boring as fuck to read can't even imagine how awful it'd be to write

>>17643193
if your main character doesnt have any motivation or goals, then what is his purpose in the story?

>>17643193
>if some person has their basic needs met, how can they really feel strongly about some meaningless shit?
this is a sign of depression

>>17643193
What are you trying to write about?

>just submitted a short story for a contest
>it's the first thing I've completely written in years
I'm pumped full of adrenaline right now

>>17641790
>>17641882
Hope it helps!

>>17642839
I wrote that with one hand on my phone this morning. /lit/ exclusive. If you've got anything to add, feel free.

>>17641574
it seems impossible to find a group of people which aren't dominated by hopelessly naive teenagers or mentally damaged adults. the only less palatable idea to me is meeting up with a writing group in real life, just due to the nature of the awful humans who would most likely be involved. it shouldn't be this hard to find a group with no time wasters, no mentally ill, and no children

>>17643621
Is it really that bad at something like a local writing group?

Do I need to explain why the male MC of my porn novel keeps running into beautiful women or is it okay that almost every character he encounters just so happens to be one?

>>17643646
it would vary wildly depending on the luck of the draw I think. The best bet seems to be to luck onto people you already know with a shared interest so you can weed out the pedophiles, but I don't think I know a single other person who writes for a hobby

>>17643673
>porn novel
if your readers can't suspend their disbelief that's on them

>>17643646
Before lockdown, I was a part of my local writing group, and it was filled with really old people writing about war and lost loves.
I was the youngest one there by an easy 25 years and it was the most comfiest group I have ever been too. They would all bring snacks and drinks, and read what they had written while being super supportive of everyone else.

It's a shame that we will probably never be able to meet up like that ever again.

>>17643966
Cheer up, this whole thing is going to blow over eventually.
You know if you wanted to strike while the iron was hot, a huge opportunity would be to write stories with a focus on friendship, community, companionship or conversely on loneliness since everyone being isolated would make them crave and think about those things more. I wouldn't be surprised if people were turning to ensemble sitcoms like Friends or Scrubs as a way to comfort themselves during this time.
Of course that's assuming you could write a book or novella that quickly but eh who knows maybe the virus stuff will continue for longer.

>>17643966

I remember being like this at the library writer's group in Toronto. I was the 23-24 year old kid among ppl in their 50s, 60s, 70s. Comfy time. They're still running these days on zoom, but it's not the same.

>writing fight scene
>introduce an unnamed who helps main character fight off some bad guys
>consider giving him a name and turning him into a full-fledged character
>decide against it and, in the next sentence, kill him off

Truly writing makes us gods.

>>17644487
the single most based post in /wg/, how does anon keep doing it?

>>17641334
I'll have to keep this in mind.
Much appreciated.

>>17641574
I was in a decent one
Lots of autists, which is to be expected, but the owner carried it by actually writing
When the owner dipped the place died pretty much instantly

I got some reviews on my work recently and I felt sick. The reviews were good, but man I put so much work into my story taking criticism makes me feel ill.

>>17644939
Are you autistic?
>hey bro good job
>oh fuck oh no im gonna throw up please dont look at me

As wolf beast after wolf beast slowly began to emerge from the treeline, every last one of them salivating and fully erect, he realized he'd been led into a trap.

>>17644950
I have autistic tendencies for sure. I'm very functional though. I did an online test and it said I wasn't autistic, so there's that.

>>17638535
Just live like Diogenes.

>>17644958
Good luck tismanon. You clearly write more than most of the board so just keep at it

>>17644955
>he
Post more.

>>17643673
Similar question here: my novel takes place over the course of a week, but right now it only has one shitting scene. I know its within the bounds of reality to only take one shit in a week, but I feel like I should throw more in there just to be more realistic.

>>17645000
Look, I know this is degenerate 4chan we're talking about, but why can't you people just be normal for once

>>17645029
Daily reminder that animefags are the only ones doing any sorts of writings in these threads.

>>17645682
Incorrect

>>17645692
Fine. Animefags and pornfags.

>>17645682
Every prominent writer who emerges in the next 100 years will have been an anime fan at some point in their life. The richest man on Earth watches anime.

/wg/, I need to figure out how to make the raw energy of creation flow through me again. This is not okay

>>17645883
you should take a break now. too much stress kills creativity. you can always work on it tomorrow.

Found this stunningly crappy specimen of a sentence on a wikipedia article. Here's a writing hint. Don't just study good writing. Study the trash too. You need to know both what is good and bad to have a complete idea of it.

>Everyone was equal in a basic sense as a member of the tribe and the different functional assignments of the primitive mode of production, howsoever rigid and stratified they might be, did not and could not simply because of the numbers produce a classsociety as such

>>17646097
>found a shitty sentence on Wikipedia
>didn't rewrite it
I'd go and do it right now but I don't want you guys to see my IP.

Concept: A fat airhead girl tries to summon a demon that can make her instantly lose weight because the school dance is in a week or some shit and she wants to ask out the cute guy. But she fucks up and summons its exact opposite and ends up with the goddess of gluttony instead. Fattening ensues and a valuable, ironic lesson is learned.

>vidya is 'ard work
>exercise is 'ard work
>learning to draw is 'ard work
>cooking nice food is 'ard work
>writing is 'ard work, but I luv it
>simple as

>>17646085
anon, this isn't like a one-off thing. It's been two years of struggling with a lack of inspiration. Ive taken breaks, they haven't helped

>>17646231
>ideaguy thinks and makes no progress
>meanwhile autists, coomers and pseuds are writing atleast 1k words a day
Just write

>>17646231
that actually sounds pretty bad. you really need to stop thinking about your story for a while. let it simmer while you do other things. it will always be there for you tomorrow.

>>17646244
Pseuds aren’t writing. Just the coomers and animefags.

>>17646231
What helps is I save my nice idea for a moment then write the shittiest dumbest thing that I enjoy writing the most. Remove any barriers of investment you might have in writing and write a shitty first draft that is fun to write.
get them juices flowing.

>>17646231
Maybe you’re not just meant to be a writer.

How does George R.R Martin get away with being a lazy fuck?

>>17646330
By writing in the past and getting so successful he doesn't have to work a day in his life ever again

>>17646330
He wrote a successful series and gets massive leeway.

>>17646097
>Study the trash too
That's why I'm here.

>>17646330
He has tens of millions of dollars. Gets hot medium rare slabs of royalty payments served up to him on a regular basis.

>>17646244
I didn't say I'm not writing. I'm almost done with my second novel that I wrote without any inspiration. I just feel dead inside

>>17646252
>>17646317
that's looking more and more likely, but I refuse to yield. I've lost interests before. I'm not keen on losing this

>>17643238
Just because I can't empathize doesn't mean he's based off of me, idiota.
>>17643286
Well, let me rephrase that. He feels very strongly about certain issues but it's not like they have to do with him personally.
>>17643299
Maybe.
>>17643310
A priest forced to take sides in a theological conflict.

Be brutally honest here, how does this sample of my writing sound? It's my first serious attempt at writing a scene
https://pastebin.com/xnAV2gLS

This will turn into fat fetish smut. I need constructive criticism.


“Absolutely not”, he told her flatly. “Luck charms and hexes are one thing, and spells when you’re old enough, but summoning an entity is one of the most dangerous rituals our order can perform.”

“B-but...” she began to stammer in protest.

“No!”, he repeated more forcefully, quickly cutting off her plea. “ Only a council of elders could even hope of performing such a thing safely. One mistake and you’ll not only get yourself killed, you’ll let something truly horrid loose on the world.”

Before she could continue pleading her case the door chime jingled.

“See to the customer”, he ordered her, his voice still slightly angry.

She turned and began to leave the room without saying a word.

“I...,” he hesitated for a moment, his voice returning to its usual kindness, “I didn’t mean to be harsh. I just couldn’t stand the thought of you getting hurt. We’ll talk about it later, okay?”

She ignored him and returned to the front of the store. “Yeah we’ll talk about it”, she muttered under her breath.

>>17646435
>A priest forced to take sides in a theological conflict.
Okay, well imagine if your faith was one of your basic needs. It's something you deeply care about (why would you be a priest if religion wasn't important to you?) and it plays heavily into the way you live your life.

Now imagine that your faith is being challenged by whatever this theological conflict is. It's making you think about whether you're living your life correctly, if everything you believe is actually false. Would you seek to strengthen your faith, or would you seek the truth? How would you feel about everything that's going on?

I don't know if that helps you at all, but just try to put yourself in your character's shoes.

>>17646439
Very YA. Stop using comma splices unless you know you're breaking a rule by doing so. Even then, use far less of them.

>>17646433
>I'm not keen on losing this
Just accept it before you waste years on it.

>>17646493
>Very YA.
Not quite my target, but at least it's not trash.
>top using comma splices unless you know you're breaking a rule by doing so.
Should I use semicolons or em dashed more? I assumed comma splices were fine because I saw them spammed in most published fantasy books

>>17646509
>dashed
*dashes

>>17646500
What else would I have to spend my years on?

I've come to understand myself anon, and what I need is to expand the limits of my imagination. Writing fantasy is a fun way to seek that out. My only issue is that I'm drawing water from a dry well

I got in 719 words today. I can safely say, that I'm pretty satisfied with my progress today

>>17639526
Make them tragic.

>>17646651
>knowing that you have to do something with your adult life
Goodluck anon. Don't be a lazy bitch about it though
I'm sure you're old enough to know but the years slip by real fast
>My only issue is that I'm drawing water from a dry well
Do shit, consume shit and talk about shit. You'll get it anon

>>17643673
My guy, anyone reading a porn novel isn't concerned with how trashy it is; go all out, make everyone a heavenly blessed beauty if need be. People reading erotica are their to wank or self insert, not to read some high literature.

>>17643673
To make obvious what >>17645000 was saying, don't be so autistic about realism and portraying every scene
Don't fuck your pacing and atmosphere to explain and justify every little thing. Shit happens sometimes. Let things happen in your writing

>>17646651
>What else would I have to spend my years on?
On something better and productive?

Any good resources to understand plotting? I feel like I have good ideas, at least for me, buy I struggle to plot it down to start the process.

>>17645875
Lame excuse. The richest man on Earth is also a racist crypto-furry who wants humanity to exploit space for personal gain. Are you going to start being and doing all of those things just because he does?

>>17646478
>“Absolutely not”, he told her flatly.
Read this as
>"Absolutely not", he told the fatty.
>>17646493
>Very YA. Stop using comma splices unless you know you're breaking a rule by doing so. Even then, use far less of them.
Holy shit I use comma splices in what feels like almost all of my sentences. Is this seriously a YA thing to do? I haven't gotten a single comment on it yet.

>>17646960
What do you expect to learn? First draft is usually just you telling yourself the story you want to read.
But if you need generic advice:
>What does your story promise the reader
>What does your character want, why can't he get it and what is he ready to do to achieve it
>Story arcs are promise > delivery through character conflict > lasting consequences
>There are seven general types of story: War, Glory, Love, Religion, Money, Road, Revenge. They can be combined.

>>17647013
Sounds incredibly based. I want to be just like this man.

Had a dream about my ex-wife.
We split a year or so ago.
Wrote a rough and unrefined prose about it:

That Piece

When I walked away I felt lighter.
When I left you I felt relieved.
I feel more unvexed and unbeaten than I have in such a while
A great weight in my soul has been uprooted and now I march forward after being entombed so long in the mauseleom of your great expectations of me.
But that piece is missing from me now.

When I arrived back home I felt familiar.
When I saw my family I felt received.
I feel more love and warmth than I have in such a while.
A tender closeness has been kindled and it's radiance surges into the frozen depths where affection once burned in me.
But that piece is missing from me now.

When I walked away I felt a liberation
When I left you I felt free
I feel the symphony of potential strike louder than I have in such a while.
A grand valley of opportunity has born it's chasm before me and it's odyssey has replaced the beaten path I took to reach your door
But that piece is missing from me now.

When I walked away I felt an individual.
When I left you I felt absolute
I feel more master of my life than I have in such a while.
An armour clad of confidence and motivation envelops the weakness of my humanity where once I had you.
But that piece is missing from me now.

I left it in the home and life we made
With the promises you broke.
A ship we once sailed so true and proud together
The story of us will remain a mostly empty book that fingers of fading recollection will thumb through uselessly to try and feel untarnished romance yet again.
But that piece is missing from me now.

And in its place I feel the void and thunder of it's hollow resonance within me

>>17647029
>Is this seriously a YA thing to do?
No. The whole thing just read like YA overall, not even counting the comma splices. The comma splices complaint was more of a general grammatical thing, which you should probably heed.

A shrivelled man sat hunched over his desk, a host of candles dimly illuminating his wrinkled, old fingers as he confidently jotted down letters on his parchment. The ceaseless, mechanical ticking of a grandfather clock was all to be heard, the regular precision of its ticks being most favourable to the man’s disposition.

Tick-tock

“No, no!-time must be responsible for the necessity of the synthesis of the manifold”

Tick, tock

“We can go no further, we must see time as the absolute pre-condition of all of our synthetic statements, mathematical or otherwise!”

Tick, tock

“Those utter fools babbling on about the Beginning of Time, call themselves philosophers, do they---a pox on them, I say.”

Tick,---CRACK-BANG
“AWOOOOOOOOOOOOO! FOUR TICKS AND NOT ANOTHER TOCK SOONER, THE GOBLIN FROM ON YONDER CAN NO MORE PONDER”

The man lurched up straight in his chair, creaks running down the wooden legs. Beads of sweat trickled down his sleeves and his fingers curled up tight. The lunatics from the asylum opposite had started up again. A low snarl hissed from his clenched teeth:

“How many times need I petition that accursed Baron von Zedlitz before he disciplines those nosers?”, he sneered to himself. “Always must he thwart my thought, whether by statute or indirectly by these jeering imbeciles.”

‘“YIPEEEEEE! GOD IS DEAD, LONG LIVE GOD”--That was it, the last straw. No man of such an erudite and reasonable disposition could further subject himself to the ramblings of madmen. Yes, he would have to break the routine he had kept for more than 30 years now. Every day he had slept at precisely 10PM, he had strolled his favourite route at midday.


Fucking around a bit here. I want to joke around with Kant's character, which I find amusing. No clue where I'm going with this, I mainly want maximum comedic value extracted from Kant, and maybe a few other philosophers (which haven't even technically existed yet)

>>17647226
fun read
write more

/wg/, is it unrealistic fo isekai protagonists who are genre savvy enough to suspect that they're actually dead to ignore the possibility that the setting is post-apocalyptic?

>>17647254
Read more Isekai this shit is common.

>>17647269
>read more
>isekai
I never thought I'd be against this meme

>>17647269
what is?

>>17647211
>>17646493
How would you recommend improving my prose? While I don't look down on YA, I would like for my prose to be more sophisticated and imaginative

>>17647311
Read more. Write more.

>>17647311
Don't stick a participle phrase at the end of every sentence.

Try to go less deep into the POV. Get out of the protagonist's head. Narrate more as a ghost watching the scene would.

>>17647013
You write as if I'm not doing them already.

>>17646097
This is the kind of sentence that could only work in Latin.

>the cycle of magazines not responding begins anew

What do you guys think about fanfiction?

I do it sometimes for fun and for the practice, i recently wrote some Valkyria Chronicles fanfiction

>>17647843
Fanfiction is fine, gives you preset characters, universe, plot structure and a fanbase. But on the other hand, fanfic fanbase keeps their attention on the original work instead of you,

>>17647856
Although, if your fanfic is mostly original, you can rework it into an original story,

>>17647869
This. I've seen some fanfics that could easily be labeled original stories and no one would be any the wiser. At most it would seem like some references here and there.

>>17647843
At least you picked a great setting, a sign of good taste.
When some story really blows me away, I start writing a fanfic, but wasting my time and energy on something I know will give me nothing sucks all joy out of it fast. It's better to just change the names and use the ideas for an original story.

My dream is to write a series of short stories with fat fetishism as the central theme and have them published as a collection.

>>17647892
My original stories are kinda bogged down beacuse there are certain parts i have to write and i really dont feel like writting them

Im mostly focusing on the first game and trying to give it a more realistic war story type of feel

>>17647907
Hi Pierce

>>17647910
I'd definitely read a good novelization of the game so long as Selvaria doesn't die again

>>17647941
Im really into military history and stuff like that, so the stuff i have seen in the game really annoys me

Like why does Squad 7 (actually the size of a platoon) get to have its own personal tank?

Why do they send it to work independently so much?

>>17648037
Well, that's all for gameplay reasons and not mean to be life-like. Real army is not very fun, so I'm not sure details like that are worth getting hung up on.

>>17648037
Read actual military doctrine

>>17648294
Not him, but military doctrine from after WW1 pretty much universally phased tanks out of infantry units smaller than a division.

>want to write
>don't know what to write about

All my ideas seem really stupid and boring.
I hate it.

>>17647226
Gave me a good laugh

>>17648303
Tank companies are typically separate from infantry altogether, whether acting in support, or independently. In VC, Edelweiss is not an army tank to begin with, but Welkin's father's private property. Changing how this is handled means changing the whole makeshift nature of Gallia's militia, and the essence of the original story.

>>17648320
Just write.

>>17648339
About what?

>>17648349
About whatever.

>>17648320
Combine your stupid ideas.

>>17648320
Whereas good ideas get worse when you write them down, bad ideas tend to improve, just write and see how it turns out

>>17648349
About the new thread

>>17648642
I don't know what vtuber to use for the image thread.

Would Marine be fine?

>>17648646
The only vtubers I know are that shark girl, Watson, and the dog. So one of them.

>>17648646
Just pick one where she's showing feet

>>17648384