/lit/ - Literature

https://voca.ro/19ikop0Xwfdd

>>17611357

I have failed at everything I have done. The fact that I am sadly not ready to give up is itself an entirely intolerable to find oneself in.

Shouldnt have left her on read

It isn’t “bear” you faggot look it up

The burn on my arm is driving me mad. It is so fucking itchy

Books to give me a reason to keep rolling the dice everyday? I’m really close to calling it quits here.

who wants to read my diaryyyyy:
after an uneventful drive through los angeles, the lyrical poetry continues to course through my mind and shitty music through my ears. again staying the night at my parents’ slices an aspiration of solitude. what i wanted - crowd my surroundings with victorian literature, sock knitting, and my darling dog. instead, i was crowned with inquisitions, dispositions, and admonitions. my sister vexed, my mother perplexed, myself undersexed. but i don’t want to talk about that. a conscious choice that challenges my innermost beliefs (or lack thereof). maybe i just want to see if i can do it, see what it’s like, and my skin is aflame.
i started to watch a rasputin documentary - pausing to embrace a drive to transcribe after
a) constant interruptions
b) fear at the imminent truths
c) lack of anything to say
d) all of the above
not that i wanted to return to the time where affection, tenderness, and exploitation occupied me, but at least i knew where i stood (or kneeled). perhaps i’m being carried through a winter this time, rather than left behind without explanation, and given the same bread of temperance with a promise of poison when summer returns.
even bad girls have holy dreams.

>>17611529
The dice man

>>17611538
roll it faggot

too high and thirsty

>>17611357
puzzy

>>17611570
why such low resolution? also rolling

>>17611570
Witness

I'm so tired all the time and wish I could sleep forever. And also finish reading Being and Time and maybe try understanding what the fuck the schizo mess Simulacra and Simulation is.

The older I get the more I realize the Catholics really are right about everything.

>>17611444
dubs/trips confirm

>>17611570
I got 1:(

I spent the evening catching up with my sister in a dark, and warm russian bar. With snowflakes falling outside on the old victorian era streetlamps.

felt comfortable for the first time in forever

i need dick

>>17611570
I hate gooks

>>17611743
That sounds nice

My job pays me very very well, my coworkers are great people, the work is easy, I have much more expendable income than ever before in my life,
yet I still feel unsatisfied.
I feel like that I could be doing more with my time, my life.
But every time I do try and push myself, I'm so very easily discouraged and I give up on trying to do or learn something new.
I'm in a catch-22 kinda scenario; I've "made it" so to speak with my job and living situation (especially given the covid complications) yet I don't feel satisfied at all with life. And then, the only thing keeping me from moving forward is myself.

That is all. Thanks for the free blogpost pass, OP

What should I make my worldview?

>>17611743
my sister is a cunt and a witch

>>17611695
I’ve always felt like I viewed my life as an hour glass. There was a period that the hour glass was there but I didn’t care to look at it. Then I became hyper aware of it and I wanted the grains of sand to slow down. At some point that changed and I’ve just wanted it to go faster ever since. You go from really dreading another birthday to being eager for the next one like a kid again, albeit more morbid, lethargic sort of kid. I’m that kind of tired, ya know?

>>17611570
Rella

ugh yet another wack what's on your mind thread, i'm out

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ebq0iMcVpf0

I'm so lonely because I don't have friends. Don't know where to find friends. I've checked meetup but most of the events seem to be online and there's always a pointlessness about these activities which makes me not want to do them

I want to get a used instrument to toodle around with. Either a horn or clarinet

I have no hope for anything anymore, but that's okay. Hope is a reaction to a prediction, and I can't predict shit.

>>17611357
good morning

what's the most /lit/ way to an hero?

>>17612037
Most people before Covid seemed to make friends in either school, work, being neighbors, or having some sort of mutual hobby or interest. So I guess think about making friends in one of those? I’m a loner but we can be friends.

>>17612033
Not to even take issue with anything he said, but why do people buy into YouTube pseudo-intellectuals so much when it pertains to politics? This guy is really giving a lecture like he really knows what’s going on.

>>17612136
https://youtu.be/4FDSdg09df8
18:00

GOOKFEET YOU FUCKING FAGGOT YOU EXHAUST ME. I HOPE YOUR GIRLFRIEND GETS BACK TOGETHER WITH YOU ONLY TO DUMP YOU AGAIN IN AN HOUR AS A HILARIOUS JOOKE BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO LIKE FEET WITHOUT BEING A HUGE FAG ABOUT IT. I HATE THAT YOU PLUG YOUR THREAD MULTIPLE GODDAMN TIMES AND HAVE BUMP LIMIT AUTISM. YOU RETARDED WORTHLESS BUG FAG FAGGOT BUG

IM GONNA TURN OYUR ANUS INSIDE OUT

>>17612147
I've considered book clubs but those are also dubious. I'll be your friend though

>>17612290
I was banned for the past 3 days so it's been other people taking up the torch and posting feet. I think I may have started something and it's too late to stop it now, I'm so sorry.

>>17612344
AH OK GOOD but sorry for being so aggressive then. the bump limit autism thing just really gets to me. anyways i don't actually hope that and i hope you're doing ok. breakups are rough. spamming is gay as hell though

>>17611383
No one likes the sound of your voice, low-IQ trash. Fpwp. Now kys.

>>17611570
rolling

>>17611357
i'm in such shit shape. I'm in such a shitty situation that i literally feel stuck and unable/unwilling to improve my life. I was doing so well, but flew off the rails. I had girls on me. Fuck me. what happened? i need fucking help, but wont accept any. i haven't been on 4chan since everyone left because of the nazis, but now i've spent 3 days on this site just shit posting and meming and i seriously hate my life

how are you op?

Is there some evo-psych reason for why men are more tolerant of fetishes than women? Or is it just cultural?
>>17612357
I'd prefer if we waited till threads hit page 10, but things are what they are. I'll try to chill.

>>17612136
Mainländer's

>>17612377
>how are you op?
Terrible. Failed another exam. Last night I got drunk for the first time in two weeks, a friend came over get some things and she reacted to all the empty beer cans. Apparently 14 beers in one night is a lot, idk I don't have a lot to compare it to these days.

>>17611357
OP, i think i found part 2 to this

Man I'm thinking some really messed up shit right now, like if people could read my thoughts they'd probably run away screaming. Some people underestimate what I'm capable of, they just don't know. Then again, they underestimate just how patient I am. Sometimes I think I could really save humanity, other times I think I just might show them the dark grim truth that they're weak, the bottom of the food chain, how easily they can be destroyed. But I think it's better they find out for themselves, humans out there killing themselves off instead of helping one another...while I sit behind a rainy window looking on with a knowing smile...I warned them. But they're just too vain to listen. And I sit and wait for them to come to me in revenge, revenge on their once-friend who they turned their backs on, their prophet, their stoic... they don't want to mess with me, they better watch their backs.

>>17612818
Faggot here’s Part 3

>>17612855
Witnessed

>>17611357
I'm so happy that only 170 people in all the USA were hospitalized with the flu this winter instead of the normal four hundred fucking thousand.

>>17612818
>>17612855
You should watch the whole thing, it's glorious.

>>17612818
>>17612855

Did I make Butterfly furiously masturbate and slam her tightened pussy up on a dildo earlier?

I mentioned she was hot and she signed off immediately, very cute :3

>made butterfly soaked
done with footposting, fun while it lasted but it's not worth it

>>17611357
I want my blankets

>>17611570
yee

>>17612804
I feel that. I didn't even enroll in classes this term. Drank a 6 pack tonight. All we have is ourselves tho, and we should treat us with the dignity we deserve

>>17612897
Do you have the sauce by any chance anon?

>>17613109
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHYaBrgVZZQ

>>17613157
Based and saucepilled

>>17611570
irene or i kill myself

>>17613162
survive and advance i guess

is it true asian girls are tighter? I feel like if it was, it wouldn't be reported by scientists or mainstream media

>>17611570
gy

>>17613426
Yeah but even their mouths stink of fish

I want to jerk off but I think I'll just shower and listen to Kind of Blue instead before dozing off. Gonna wake up early-ish tomorrow :))

>>17611570

>>17611529
schopenhauer unironically

>>17611529
I don't have book suggestions but sometimes when I feel really bad I listen to classical music while thinking about authors that I enjoy, objective truth and beauty, and that usually guides me in a certain direction

I want a fat wife and tons of kids.

>>17611570
Chink roll

I have read The Book of Disquiet 2 times now and am half way through my third, I intimately understand and relate to it.

>>17613880
why so sad anon?

>>17613929
I don't really know anon, it's just a pervading melancholy, however it's also at times soothing. I'm not wholly bothered by it.

I think I'm going to spend my entire life doing nothing of note.

>>17614243
Like 99.9 percent of people. That's nothing of note.

>>17613880
I started like 6 years ago and am still barely half through. I don't read it as a book. I read few paragraphs whenever I'm in a fitting state of mind. Which is rare.

>>17614268
I feel like I should be doing something other than the consumption of media.

>>17611570
roll

>>17612037
It’s very difficult isn’t it. If you have any established connections even if you haven’t seen them in years I suggest trying those, that’s easier than starting from scratch. One other thing I plan on trying is volunteering.

>>17612169
because info ez when youtuber explain idea to me

has there been a civilization in the history of mankind that wasn't an asshole? neither inwardly nor outwardly? and which wasn't toppled at the first opportunity by tramping gangbangers?

>>17614311
Well the first step would be to reduce the media consumption. Change always starts with a negative. Just lay down in bed and do nothing is a good starting point. Then whenever you want to do something, do anything, but more media consumption. You don't have to cut it completely from one moment on that would be too much. But laying for hours in bed, getting bored, will help to get a grasp of what you really want and and what you can do. And yes, this takes weeks, probably months, to make a real change.

>>17612037
You have to overcome your complaints of pointlessness when you want to make friends. Hanging out with friends is useless. That's literally the whole point.

Do you have a good friend?

>>17612033
>the trends of my country are the same with every country.
He’s confusing the iron law of oligarchy with neofeudalism conspiracy theory. Neofeudalism is coming to America and the UK in the form of neoliberalism because the central state is dissolving into a glorified military fortification of corporate fiefdoms. A nonexistent or ineffective central state is required for feudalism. The only thing the American or British state exists to do is military and economic fortification of the neofeudal system. In other countries, however, you aren’t seeing the dissolution of the government as a force directing capital for the economic development nation as a whole, in fact the opposite, whereby the elites centralize capital into government hands and rule as a central authoritarian state. Basically in most other countries you’re seeing a trend for the state monopolization of national capital rather than a confederation of neofeudal global capitalists. Globalists can get raped in hell though. We need to finish those rich demons. Give them a happening they’ll never forget. The great weakness of neofeudalism is that it can’t militarily compete with a society where all power is centralized and citizens are mobilized towards collective goals. Hopefully the Chinese will take advantage of British and us neofeudalism and steer their countries into the abyss and completely destroy them.

>>17612033

>>>Shhhkt eulolo > eiroailerozun byzas byzis eecretschque < interro interoo fefi flauch. Fo! O portraire t'whi the scretum. Flume's inta wine, corched upaunch t'vini wini wici. T'œcasta: remit. Remunerati. Will'i? N-n.

>>17611357
I'm kinda bummed out how people seem to consider non-cis people freaks. The way people talk about it, it's like they're some kind of slavering degenerates, when actually most are just normal people who look and act normal. It might be "trendy" right now, so I can't speak for anyone just pretending, I guess, and I'll agree that a lot of the more convoluted and obscure ones are probably a result of "tumblr individualism" but most people just want a definition they can point to and say, "that's me".

I'm aroace, but it's not like anyone actually knows unless I tell them. It's not that I decided to be aroace, either. I spent my whole adolescence hemming and hawing over whether I'm straight, or gay, or bi, because obviously, I had to be one of those. Those were the only options, right? But it never felt right, because I never understood what anybody talked about. The way people described sexual attraction and butterflies, and love sounded like exaggerations or romanticism. I thought that's what it was. And then one day, I randomly stumbled over a definition of aroace, and I thought: "Oh, that's me! Now I know what I am!" And I was happy. That's it. That's all it is.

It's just bumming me out that people consider me a degenerate for that. This is 4chan, so it's not like I take it personally, but still. After a while it kind of gets to you. That's all.

I'm a designer who loves to write and read. I wanna become a writer, I want to be enveloped in that world. I like designing, but I don't wanna be a designer working for design firms and corporations all my life.

And now it's time for me to take my Master's. What should it be in? A writing degree, which might take me in the direction of where I want to be? Or, a design degree, which might take me in the direction of a stronger financial security but I might be more entrenched in a world which might allow even less time for me to accomplish my writing dreams.

I wish someone would give me direction and ability. I just can't seem to think straight or approach this.

The end is on my mind

>>17614687
When you're at the end you'll look back and it'll all seem like the blink of an eye, no matter how interminably long life seems now. The older I get the less and less removed I feel from my ancestors. How long is written history—2500 years or so? That timescale is vanishingly short. It was, in the grand scope of things, the blink of an eye prior.

22. Neet for 1 year now. Don’t have motivation to change, and I can’t look my dad in the eyes anymore

>>17611357
lately i'm really warming up to daytime drinking. not blackout drunk but maintaining a light buzz throughout the day

>>17614677
No one cares that you are an "aromantic asexual" or whatever that is supposed to mean. Literally nobody gives a shit that you people exist. The fact that you define yourself by your nonexistent sexuality at all is extremely ironic. No, you are not a "degenerate" - you are, at best, weird and at worst boring. Sorry to break it to you anon. The only reason anyone would ever mention "aromantic asexuals" is to criticise them for not being sufficiently queer or whatever. Normal people don't even notice you are any different from them.

>>17614719
>lately I've been taking the first steps towards unironic alcoholism
Your life is probably boring and unremarkable, but alcohol isn't the solution.

>>17612037
Wanna be frens?

>>17614728
yes, it is and no, it probably isn't but i've come to appreciate boredom. i make a decent living, i have some very good friends, i have literature and vidya and whenever i feel like eating i can just order some arab to bring it to my very door. this shit is awesome on a historical scale, every need met in an instant. what could i possibly complain about?
>but you have to leave something to prove you existed or it's like you didn't exist at all
no, i don't! where did you get that idea? just let serotonin flood your brain and die. you'll die happier than 99,9% of humans before you.

>>17611570
alright then

>>17614762
>you'll die happier than 99,9% of humans before you.
This is not necessarily true. You might die having had your basic needs met more consistently than any humans before you, but deaths of despair (as they're called) are only rising in the West. It's the great, quiet paradox of our era. Alcohol is, in a genuine irony, one of the main players in manifesting those deaths of despair. The idea that you "should" be happy because your most basic needs are met is not one that has significant rigor.

>>17611570
ROLLING ROLLING ROLLING

>>17614677
Never heard the term aroace. You shouldn't impose a category on yourself and limit yourself. That's pretty gay.
Also does this mean that:
you have never masturbated? Have never been aroused? Never been attracted to someone? Don't get literature where a erotic or romantic relation or tension is at hand? Have no reaction to pornographic content?

>>17614762
It's very simple actually. You can maintain this lifestyle for a while, depending on your bodily and financial etc. conditions, but sooner or later alcoholism will make everything much much worse and then have fun living with it. You're still young probably so you don't see the downsides yet and you don't want to see them. I understand that as I've been like that myself. Then I had my first surgery after things went downhill for a while and it's not fun I tell ya.

>>17611570
Seulgi shall be mine

dune was ok, thought that the audiobook was missing parts or my player kept skipping forward since there so many timeskips, i'll start the next book in a couple of days

>>17614677
Because life is hard and complicated and you're making it even more difficult and even more complex than it already was, and we hate you for it.

>>17614243
It's not flying, it's falling with style.

Could you have believed in 2018 that there would be globally mandated injections of RNA and people would be grateful for it
I swear everyone but me is cooked

>>17615011
what's the deal with injections of RNA?

>>17615041
The v@ccin is genetic therapy and not a true v@ccin

>>17615011
It's not mandated here in America

>>17615072
You will very soon find yourself in a situation where you will be forced to take it in order to participate in society, but it will be "optional" just like your job and the local supermarket

>>17613426
Slightly, but they smell weird. If you want tight snatch you're better off going for shy 18 year olds

>>17615101
Good thing that I stopped participating in society years ago.

I've never learned how to exist. I'm sustained and driven by the needs of the body. And allowed to keep my head above the water by forces outside my control.

What really is mine? This weekend, two women I believed I was in love with in different stages of my life chose to walk away.

No, not from the idea of love or a relationship or friendship... But from my existence. And I have learned to grieve in the face of death but how do I let go someone who wishes to erase their existence from my mind?

Is there a funeral for our undead lovers? I have no hate or animosity for these women but I never said everything I wanted to and I now cannot. For we chose to cease being in each others' worlds.

I have great trouble forcing a finality on someone I might just... Run into on the street. What do I do then.

These are the imagined tethers of pain God cuts down from my life. I've given much of what I have over to him. But not everything.

Faith scares me so much. I have repented many times over in my life, and yet I cannot hand over myself. This veil of translucent hypocrisy covers all but some exalted hearts.

I fear my faith will ask for my life for the next world and in heaven I will rest. But despite it all and everything I've read and learned my chest seizes my heart in fear and I just can't let go.

Will I ever be good enough for myself? God is here; I am not. This veil isn't in my power to lift.

I smile through the sinking sadness and I am afraid each passing day.

God bless us all.

i wrote a poem :D

german:
und der erlöser fuhr in hohem wagen
vorbei am volk das sich die beine bog
und sein gesicht war leer von fragen
wie das des geiers der vom aas entflog
ich wünschte jemand wollte sagen
dass hinter ihm das nichts her zog
schlagt das verdammte lumpenpack
mit einem hammer kurz und klein

english:
and the redeemer rode in a high chariot
past the people who bent their legs
and his face was devoid of questions
like that of the vulture that flew from the carrion
i wish someone would say
that nothingness was following him
beat the damned riffraff
with a hammer to pieces

>>17612377
do yoga with an obnoxious cutie
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQ6NfFIr2jw

it gets pretty taxing, is kind of fun, doesn't require you to leave your aptment. I genuinely feel more positive afterwards.

My boss is off his rocker. Messaging me at 6:30 and 7:30 am for “status updates”? Dude, you checked in with me 3 times a day everyday last week and you pay me less than the floor manager at Target. This shit is fucking pathetic and infruriating. This is actually my life? Why am I doing this?

Im home alone for a few nights, just got out of bed like 2 minutes ago to take a dump but as i was sitting in the dark in my bathroom a brief but extremely bright white light flashed outside in through my window, not quite an instant flash like lightning but it sort of erupted then faded out over the course of about a second give or take a fraction maybe, and I have no clue what it could have possibly been aside from someone in my back yard with an extremely bright flashlight or something, so now im really fucking tired but theres no way I can go back to bed because my anxiety is through the roof. I really wish I didn't live in nogunz land

>>17615011
Yes, actually.

>>17615475
A car headlamp?

>>17611357
sex sex sex

>>17615495
the window does not face a road or alleyway or anything, the nearest roads are all blocked from view of it so I dont really see any way a headlight could shine through like that. the blinds were closed so i couldn't see anything and i was sitting on the toilet when it happened anyway, shit was pretty bright, basically lit up the room through closed blinds

>>17611399
be more gentle to yourself

>>17615288
not reading all of that shit sorry

>>17615011
anyone who's old enough to remember going to the airport before 9/11 can believe it

>>17615559
Getting wanded at the airport and getting RNA injections are a little different though.

>>17615597
big gov'ment forcing shit done your throat – many such cases.

It's been a month since I started building my website. The front of the website (what you can see and interact with) was done in less than two weeks, but I'm still struggling to create a content manager. I'm stuck on it and it feels like I don't have enough time to learn and work on it. I need to get it done. I've been isolated from months now and I don't get the feeling I'm going to get well if I don't get this website done fast and write stories.

>>17615408
ich finds gut

>>17615615
Idk. Getting felt up and injected don’t feel the same to me.

>>17615597
>wanded
>getting your crotch patted down
>walking around in your socks
>needing a federal "real id" driver's license to take a domestic flight

so much changed you don't even notice, just like 20 years from now getting an rna vaccine will be a "little different" than getting a microchip implanted

>>17615667
i never implied it was the same. the point is hysterical government overreaction is not new to anyone older than a zoomer.

>>17613653
Thank you.

>>17615651
I fucking hate frontend stuff, I only like backend.

But I just refuse to work as a web dev again, I'd rather kill myself.

Whenever things seem to be on the up and up for me something bad happens to take the wind out of my sails, like some asshole pirate who shows up on the horizon only to blast down my ship's rigging and Swiss cheese my sails with grape shot only to sail off again after laughing.
Maybe this is just a psychological trick, but it feels real.

>had a haircut
>really enjoyed the physical contact
jesus, i didnt know it was that bad.

>>17615408
Groß- und Kleinschreibung ist eine Tugend.

DOUBLES DECIDE MY NEXT READING! Last time I ended up reading about how each side of the brain affect our behaviour. Cool stuff.

>>17615158
younger pussy isn't tighter, how tight it is is purely genetic

>>17615958
Sure thing, roastie.

>>17615956
Demian

>>17615956
August von Kotzebue - The Stranger

>>17615849
Did you have to wear a mask? Getting a haircut has always been something I felt weird about. I haven’t got one since locked down started but I did buzz my hair once 6 months ago.

since i started to read the white between the letters, things are going uphill again; slowly.

and she asks: why i look at her as if we were strangers. and i think: how could it be otherwise. a strange life lying on my tongue. i feel ashy.

in this state, everything is condemned to death, and there is nothing left to do but stare through the window into the immeasurable sky and wait. you can calculate everything in this cursed state, because nothing but the primitive is truly manageable. things take such a logical course, as if you had fallen into an abacus. i could respect a murderer, but they send me an hangman through the window, who will draw a pension for killing, and fall asleep on his couch as full as a spider. one grows accustomed even to the contemptuous.

I hate women but those gooks are cute

>>17614279
I read it similarly, I feel it's only meant to be read in fragments like that, however, I am in the mood for it quite often.

>>17614762
>pic related
a significant argument for suffering as a way toward God I suppose

Kpop needs a containment board

trying to weigh how to relate to the hadith. on the one hand it is credible that there would be an oral tradition somewhat well maintained, and the hadith are frankly full of wonderful teachings. on the other hand the hadith are used as a legal source to the extent of justifying capital punishment. If you're gonna do that in the name of God, then God should have set up an impeccable system, a system that can not reasonably be questioned. And the hadith can reasonably be questioned. Other religious traditions can also reasonably be questioned, such as the Dao De Jing and the Pali Canon (it is known that the DDJ is not perfectly preserved, and the Pali Canon is like the hadith only (afaik) less thoroughly verified), but the difference is that they largely are not used to justify capital punishment.

>>17616784
really, if there was nothing but pleasure then we would do nothing but enjoy, but in this we would be locked in the flesh. I genuinely believe that spirituality is a far greater joy and far worthier goal, but it would never be pursued if we all lived hooked up to pleasure machines. I think I might be learning something relevant here.

I cant stop thinking about my ex gf and it is driving me crazy. I tried everything, but every time I have a moment where I have to wait/chill, she come back in my head and I have this urge of calling her. I dont want to be pathetic. Im not going to call her. I know I have to take the L with pride. Its just really hard to think about someone every single time you are supposed to be chilling, only to know you will never see her again in your life. Its been 2 months we have broke up and im still on it. I feel like a literal piece of shit. I hate that feeling. I just want to get wasted on booze, xans & weed but I know it will make it worse. I just cant anymore bros. I just want to erase her from my head.

>>17616162
Yeah but it didnt really affect that much. Try getting a haircut, its a nice feel when she touches your head and applies hair gel.

I'm mad tired.

Im in bad spot at life
I dont have energy to do anything, on a bad day even get out of bed. Im in bad shape, cant concentrate neither on my duties nor on my own plans and ambitions, and few people who are still around me frequently remind and bash me for it. Im failling at everything and I hate myself a little bit more every day

Books for this feel?

These threads are just /r9k/ colonies.

a straight back with a chest thrust out makes a sufficient fellow even out of a pansy. in the same way, one should keep one's mental back straight and one's mental chest thrust out. you should always think of yourself as the winner, no matter what task you are facing - why should you be heading for defeat in your mind? don't tear yourself apart between reality and ideal, but look coldly into the mirror: what do you care about, what don't you care about? if you have a duty to yourself, it is not to be moral whatever the cost, but first and foremost to observe yourself without analyzing. who are you?

I could never be a businessman. I'm not sure that philosophy ruined this possibility for me or if my own inclination that led me to philosophy did. I can't help but view such things as ephemeral, Ozymandias-tier castles in the sand that will be washed away by time. I care for the eternal questions and want to understand the underlying order of it all.

>>17616929
sahih al bukhari has a hadith about ali having burned someone alive as punishment, with ibn abbas interjecting that he would not have done the same as doing so was forbidden by muhammad. this makes ibn abbas or ali unreliable in something of some relevance (whether or not it is legal to torture someone to death by fire)

it would be a victory for humanity if a convict who is to be executed were allowed to choose whether his execution is carried out in public or in private. for theatrical reasons: the people flock together to see blood, the drummers whirl, the cage wagon rolls up together with the prisoner - he can stare defiantly at the audience between the bars, then he is led out into the open, to the scaffold, on the way he can flail his arms and walk with his legs wide apart, up on the tribune he can make a last speech in front of the audience, berate the justice system and the state, affirm his guilt, e.g. the fight for freedom. the prisoner is put in a position to defend himself against his enemies, within narrow limits, of course, but still. the modern penal system on the other hand: an empty concrete corridor, two bored guards trotting along behind you, you enter an empty chamber, are strapped onto a table and left alone. flushed down like a turd.

>>17611357
Yeah, I would fuck them.

>>17617542
it's a means, not an end
means to survive or reach a level where you can do what you care about

>>17611357
I'm in a cozy hotel in western Europe, markets itself to hippy backpakers and the like, or rather trust fund kids LARPing as backpackers - too expensive and comfortable for real backpackers. There's an iPad mini beside me for controlling the room, and it's got all these free movies included. Adult ones too, "Anal Stepsister" and other such gems, ready to cast to a 40inch TV. It's got me thinking: who the fuck is employed to add these things? Is it legal to ask a wagie "Please watch these pornographic kinos and select twenty across a range of fetishes that match to the 20 something upper middle-class wanderer demographic."? Is said wagie lucky for getting to watch porn at work, are they utterly miserable at the absurdity of having to watch porn at work, am I overthinking this and it's just bundled pornos supplied by a clever self-employed /biz/nizman? It doesn't matter, I have Hypernormalisation on a USB

>>17617294
Oblomov

>>17617856
>a means to survive
I'd see it more as a means to thrive. If you just want to survive then wage-slave.

>>17617893
>Is said wagie lucky for getting to watch porn at work, are they utterly miserable at the absurdity of having to watch porn at work, am I overthinking this and it's just bundled pornos supplied by a clever self-employed /biz/nizman?
Probably the latter but honestly I can think of much, much worse jobs than selecting porn movies for hotels. I'd certainly take it in a hearbeat over my office job, even if it paid less.

>>17618015
Entrepreneurship is an extremely risky endeavour, it doesn't print money on its own from the get-go.

It can be a relief for the dying soul to imagine that his body can be eradicated, but not his deeds, which lie in the past and secretly affect the future - this can be a relief for the dying soul.

I ease myself by moving back from this world one step further, thinking: In time, my omissions, too, will die.

>>017612945
>tripnigger
>awful taste in waifus
checks out

I have three international environmental law essays due this week and I haven't started. I simply can't work anymore. I despise law. I am french, yet I took a loan to do a LLM abroad and I deeply regret it. I feel like I am going mad, I have never felt so low. Is it because of online school ? Is it because I actually have to work for once ? I don't know but I dream of the end of civilization every night. Pretty sure I have ADD of some sort, going to see a shrink soon but in France they hate meds so they probably won't do shit to help me. I feel so trapped, I am screaming in my head all the time. Really want to just fuck off and become a knife maker.

>>17617083
It's only been two months. It's natural and necessary to feel this way, so don't beat yourself up about it. I know you're tired of hearing this, but you have bear with it until it passes in time. I started to gradually feel better. It's been 7 months now and I'm actually happier without them

>>17611357
maybe i could be alone,but thats no a tomorrow

>>17615475
maybe a meteorite? Check reportings in your area

>>17612394
it's probably because women are usually on the receiving end of them and tend of empathize with the target's discomfort over the fetishist

>>17615475
>middle of the night
>8:41 am EST
where do you live, anon?

This board sometimes feel like a higher IQ /pol/ and I like it. Here you can actually discuss political philosophy without brainlet American boomers and cuckservatives shitting all over the place. The fact there are lefties here as well only makes it better.

>>17618909
>The fact there are lefties here as well only makes it better.
Because I don't want to live in a total echo chamber.

>>17611383
The madman is back. Cheers brother

>>17618917
Yeah I have a high tolerance for opinions I disagree with, even the ugliest ones. People who don't are weak minded.

>In fact, the view that every woman is bad was very neatly conveyed by a certain Lacon who, after marrying a very diminutive wife, used to say that of evils one should choose the least.

>tfw fell for the western Buddhism meme
>tfw months later realize this is just hippie shit bolted onto a 2000 year old Indian suicide cult
meditation is still based though

>>17619098
>tfw somewhat interested in practicing buddhism
>knew one other guy who did
>he killed himself

>>17611357
4>1>3>2>5

>>17611357
desu idol shows are my opium, it's one of the few things keeping me going rn

Almost done writing an essay concerning my thoughts on creation of prose and verse fiction, gonna use it to write short stories to test out the various combinations it allows. When it’s complete, do any of you want to read it?

>>17619269
>>17619269
If you want to, you could post your unfinish essay now (and the finished version later). I'd really like to have something interesting right now. I'm stranded on the shitter, performing my bi-weekly whale-dump.

>>17619326
Alright, it’s too heavy, the latter parts aren’t as fleshed out and elaborated upon because I’m in the moment doing such. But here.

The following is my own personal system of literature creation and in some degree analysis.

First, let it be understood that all literature whether prose or verse is an act of rhetoric. This is what divides the textbooks and ice cold analytical works with the works of great literature. All aesthetic properties and powers of a piece of literature lie within its rhetorical prowess towards certain aims and agendas.

Rhetoric is the art of persuasion, you are convincing the reader of the reality and depth of an image, of a vision, the writer’s job is to use words to craft an illusion and the power of his illusion determines his merit as the writer.


The common rhetorical scheme and the one which we ought to use is the following.

Logos
Ethos
Pathos
Kairos


Briefly speaking, logos is the fact or reality or raw data of the thing being argued. The raw information of your story and its formulation are governed by the Logos determination. This is the most foundational aspect of the story and thus is the bedrock from which the other forces stem.

The next level is the ethos, the stature and personality, the believability, it is not enough that I hear the raw material of the story, the speaker, the writer, the one whom I’m reading needs to convince me by some means that I should listen to him, that the story he’s telling is worth while and he has the capacity to tell it. Consider Dante, was there ever a poet more fit to speak and say that he really went to hell, purgatory and heaven? Who he was in real life and within fiction, his manner of speech and the way he told his tale harmonized to give him the stature of Arch-poet, and his own poem granting him the laurel among the other greats (even while not accomplishing anything of importance yet) that non-vain pride and self-assurance of his own merit, that is an ethos level par-excellence.

Cont

>>17619348
Of course, every story will depending on its own particular aspects require a different voice from the writer, a difference in character, another reason to be believable.

The Third element and this is the basic requirement for any literature to be art, is to have an aspect of pathos, of passion, of movement of the emotions in some regard. This is not the be-all and end-all of Art, it is simply the bare-minimum. Your art work must leave an impression upon the soul of the reader, even if only for the moment of reading. If you can induce a moment of ecstasy or sadness, anger or gladness, you have achieved the taste of beauty.


The fourth element and perhaps hardest to manipulate is Kairos, the manipulation of a moment or slice in time, to capture either the experience and quality of the current time period or an imagined form of the future or of the past whether personally (such as in coming of age stories) or historically (period pieces, those works which strive to encapsulate the current zeitgeist. Etc.)

These four elements are neither atomic nor simply built on each other but are built and dependent upon one another for power. If the raw facts of the story are poor, it’ll require a titanic effort within one or multiple of the other 3 elements to justify it. And this can be used for certain works and contexts depended on the desired aesthetic result.

These four elements manifest chiefly through the following four aspects of the writing.


Prose/verse style
Narrative
Character
Motif/myth

While not directly correspondent, these four aspects do have associations with the four elemental powers.

Prose style of course being a reflection of the Logos, As the logos is the raw facts of the story, the prose/verse style is the raw content and form of how you transmit the facts of the story. If William McGonagall wrote the Aeneid who would remember it? with his level of verse, no one would. In this same regard if nabokov did not have some mastery over English, no one would find his common overly educated characters believable.

Narrative has a reflection in both ethos and kairos, as the chain of events, images and so forth that occurs will not so pleasurable if they are not justified and this justification must occur in a logical pattern, if not, the artifice of the piece will become visible and one will see through the illusion, rending the piece an absolute failure. Who would enjoy a play in five parts if the third act came second, the fifth came fourth and so forth ? Almost no one unless extreme power is used to justify the manipulation of time and narrative. This thematic manipulation is very tricky and often will strike the consumer as artificial and at worst pretentious (a complete rhetorical failure.)

Cont

>>17619368
Character is most often the easiest link to pathos possible, it is common knowledge that require a human element to associate emotionally with the story, even some of the most abstract and most alien fiction will still require a human or some form of character in order to create the Pathos link.

Finally we have Myth-motif as the pure representation of Kairos, this in my opinion is the most difficult portion in all of literature, for the myth-motif is nothing less than a poem created purely out of moments in time, a condensation of eternal force into a singular moment or the extension of a singular event over a large portion of time.


Grand examples of these would be the Association of Winter with Death, the hero and the dragon/serpent, the old sickly woman who, when given alms, transforms into a being of great and terrible power. simply naming these alone floods the mind with images, visions of events that are perfectly conjoint. Creating these from scratch is of extreme difficulty and comes in a variety of goes.

In fact, all of These are not a question of quality but of types, example the Ornate prose of John Lyly has its place as does the simplistic prose of someone like Hemingway. The style must reflect the aesthetic, the mood and cadence. If these do not have a role with your story, they are working against you.

Prose/verse style can be divided into three types.

Simplistic
Ornate
Complex
The simplistic prose work will speed along and try to turn both the language/prose style as invisible as possible but also the beauty of the events shall be lessened. Simplistic prose is best for plot heavy and action heavy works because it gives speed to the work. Many dramatic works also benefit from a simplistic prose style, you would not like in your murder mystery to be bogged down by a beautiful description of the snow or of the blood trickling when there is 100 times more force dedicated to the mystery and the plot elements. (Roughly, the simplistic style reflects the Logos, as it seeks to give the facts of the matter and cut off everything else.)

The Ornate style is similar to the simplistic style, but is often slower, richer, heavier in use of stranger adjectives, it focuses far more on induction of aesthetic beauty through events and experiences. The ornate style has an association with the Ethos but not completely, the simplistic style will tell you something is beautiful, the ornate style will explain in detail how it is beautiful, but not as the painter but rather, he will expertly in his usage of strange terms, combinations of sounds and so forth produce a vision of beauty. Consider homer’s “rosy fingered Dawn” that is perfectly orange; not so much so that it is confusing or colored, but it produces a detailed experience, an infusion of conception of beauty with the material vision of it.

Cont

>>17619382
Once again, there is a time and a place for this, you would expect a divine hymn or something like a-rebours to be filled to the brim with ornate beauty, in this regard the ornate is an evolved form and not an antagonism against the simplistic prose style.

The final style and in my belief the most difficult to do successfully and even if done successfully often has a weak effect is the complex style, consider Joyce’s Finnegans Wake, everything’s has been sacrificed to produce a complexity. The advantages in this is word games but also if done Properly, stimulation of differing modes of perception/consciousness, you can show and overwhelm the reader by giving them so many details about how the characters or event feels. Those who get accustomed to the complex style can also find an elevated beauty similar to that within the ornate but increased by a magnitude of force. However for the majority even those who grow accustomed, the complex style by its nature breaks the illusion of the Art, as such it has the highest chance for aesthetic pleasure and appreciation of the three styles, at most receiving empty technical praise.


Now let us consider narrative/plot structure.
the plot structure/narrative must reflect the result you desire, an interesting story is only as interesting as the effects it can have upon the reader and this will be informed by the other 3, complex and interesting fast moving plot has no superiority over the plotless stories where only the other three are put in the forefront. In general though humans enjoy repetition with slight variation which gradually builds up. Consider how music works and integrate the method of the leitmotif.

There are again, three forms of major narrative constructions

Simplistic narratives (the simplest being slice of life stories which have no plot to real to speak of.)
Complex narratives
Partial/mysterious narratives


The simplistic plot/narrative exists solely to justify the interaction of various characters and the movement of images and ideas, the plot will have either no existence or a vestigial existence.
Character also need not be rich, ornate and deep. There is equal value in different cases, the more deeper your character, the more particular they are. The more like individuals you must write them and thus they must be in some regard appealing to a broad audience even if not universal themselves. Consider a-rebours or tristam shandy, those two books work because the odd peculiar man in them befriends the reader and proves fascinating.


However the more vague and empty your character is, the more universal they are, the more archetypical they become/ these vague characters work best in the mythological and symbolic works. Who will complain that Aesop’s fables don’t have the character depth of Goethe’s work? This universal structure is also much more useable for the hardest and in my opinion strongest aspect of story telling.

Cont

>>17619397
The creation of a new myth/motif, these transcend all mediums and can be transmitted through any way and will be left mostly intact. Thus they are abstract, crystalline, like nature and the world of ideas concentrated into a singular narrative-poem. The strongest stories can balance these four, some unifying the harder character-with-depth with the universal-motif creation and this is largely what many modern authors try to balance.


(In the complete version I’ll elaborate more so on the nature of character, motif, narrative and their harmonies and the usages of their various modes.

I plan to use this as a kind of master key to pump out various more exotic stories,a kind of color palette you know?)

Sometimes I wonder how I would behave in a battlefield scenario. Would my assumed mental toughness shatter on impact to the sound of the guns and death? Or would the adrenaline overtake me? Extreme experiences such as combat test a man for all he's worth. I don't romanticize it but I do wonder how different people I know would hold up in such a catastrophically intense scenario.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X51t0UDxjgY

>>17619408
Oh and various spelling errors/word corrections, orange=ornate, etc. will correct those once the bulk of it is written.

>>17618804
I fucking knew it lol, a meteor was the first thing I thought of because of the way the light flashed and faded, but it seemed too unlikely so I defaulted to "someone in the back yard" but here it is
https://edmonton.ctvnews.ca/did-you-see-it-alberta-s-northern-sky-lit-up-by-meteor-monday-morning-1.5318749

case closed I guess

>>17619470
First of all, thank you for your post. I feel obligated to give you, in return for your literary toilet service provided to me, some feedback. In short: What you have discovered there through your own pondering is the wisdom of Writing for Dummies. This is not a reproach. It means that your train of thought, on the whole, with minor exceptions, whether justified or not, is not particularly original, perhaps not even intended to be. That a story comprises style, plot, characters and the mysterious false floor was known even in the bearded Babylon. The other classifications are just as old and hairy. How these categories are interrelated and interdependent is worked out coherently enough, as is everything else, by the way, but nothing particularly interesting or revealing comes of it. Your essay can be dismissed in the same way as the more famous and probably also more original, though equally unhelpful theories of the late honourable Hölderlin. Poetology is a thankless branch. It is nigh impossivle to say more than what is obvious, and there is basically nothing left but to give what has been known for ages a strange, exuberant new coat of paint. One person always profits from poetological experiments though: the poetologist.

>>17619669
ayy nice glad that worked out

A lot of authors draw from loved experience to write great fiction. Do you think a common wage slave could draw on the wage slave experience to write a great story? I’ve heard that Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Marata fits the bill but I’ve not read it.

What I’m trying to say here is, my wage slavery makes me feel like I’m dying, physically, spiritually. I want to have hope that I can at least use it to write a great story but i feel it also sapping my imagination. Please give me hope.

>>17619669
I had no idea there were this many people with doorbell cams. Kind of disturbing.

>>17619817
Oh of course, I even know how much of this is repetition of just Aristotle, it’s primarily for my own advantage and experimentation and not some innovation for literary critique or the like. A rather fun experiment and demonstrates in broad strokes the general rules though.

I’m more interested in seeing what are the proper range/zones that I myself taste and then experimenting with exotic combinations of these, so that I may find out which of these I find my own writing of is most fascinating and most comfortable. Obviously you’ll get the same and many times more with just Aristotle.

I’m failing chemical engineering and I don’t care anymore. I hate my life I want to run away to the raf but I have to have been a resident for the past 7 years. I fucking hate this fuck academia fuck stem they said my life would get better. Now all I want to do is read my books and play my piano. FUCK YOU YOUR STUPID THERMODYNAMICS AND YOUR STUPID FUCKING CODE.

>>17619823
If you write honestly about your experience, people will read it and understand it – because truth is enjoyable.

>>17619853
You sure? I think a truthful but nonetheless boring statement will inevitably be boring. I suspect it’s a bit difficult to create anything important from that kind of life.

>>17619845
Stick with it, the alternative is worse.

>>17619845
I hear you. I’m probably about to quit my job. I’m severely depressed and almost snapped today. I almost hope I would just get fired but I know that’s never going to happen.

>>17611357
ew chinks

>>17619865
It’s a shit feeling, even though I know it’s for the worse I want my parents to cut me off so I can do everything as I wish. Same way you wish to be fired :/

>>17619855
Come on now, that's too much, to say: "This life is entirely boring". Parts of it certainly are, but all of it? Write about the parts that aren't boring!

>head starts twitching when you turn it to the side
>it twitches when closing/opening eyelides or moving eyeballs to either direction
>hotflashes and feeling like burning inside
am i dying?

>>17619843
I didn't intend to be so dismissive and unhelpful. Sorry.

>>17619915
sounds like you've been tense for a long time and haven't noticed and now it's spilling over. try making a cup of tea and just sitting for a while. you could be dying of course, fuck do I know

>love my girlfriend
>Don't want to spend my early 20s with one girl and end up regretting it
Wew

>>17619942
thanks, i'll take your advice and get some tea.

>>17619925
Oh dude, not at all. You didn’t come off dismissive or unhelpful. I actually found it complimentary as it meant my thought reflects the basics of the reality of the situation. I prefer accuracy to aesthetically pleasing larp any day. A person I often complain about is how bloom for example will misuse the sephiroth for his literary analysis, giving a false interpretation of them and then using them for a false authority for no real reason other than that it fits his aesthetic tastes.

Let me reiterate, I find i can best work with thought and ideas when I force them into harsh and rigid structures and patterns. That’s what I mean when I say

> Almost done writing an essay concerning my thoughts on creation of prose and verse fiction, gonna use it to write short stories to test out the various combinations it allows.


I find arbitrary freedom to be pretty unsatisfying.

>>17619948
if you actually love her and she seems loyal, you aren't missing out on much by not sleeping around. if she isn't loyal and is not interested in the long term then you might find yourself with regrets later

Philosophy has been solved, and the best thing is that there’s multiple solutions.
Everything that happens in the current period of humanity’s existence has called for what was named “philosophy”, and was thankfully answered (starting -2.5 thousands of years ago), but as a science (or an art) of knowing what life is — what an existence is — has been elaborated on from almost any perspective, view, and background.
The same way we reached the limit of knowing of the way the world behaves physically around us, the same way we reached the end of the various ways of the behaviour of the soul.
Philosophy as a field will die out in the next 100 years, but further on will be considered the Latin language of sciences: a dead, but also somewhat poetically romantic (partly due its death) step in the ladder of human evolution.

There is no “right” answer or reason.
The same way the fire won’t start on its own, the same way your life will not make sense and not have a reason until you light it up. You have to light it up. The philosophy has figured it out as many ways to light it as as there are physical ways to light a real fire.

>>17619981
It's more the fact I'm absolutely not interested in marriage or anything of that nature but we've been going out for two years now (Nearly 50% of that time has been under quarantine and haven't actually seen her) and our sex life consists of me begging for most of the time. Personality and looks wise she's absolutely perfect and so I don't want to leave her but then my fading youth makes me panic because I never properly slept around in college.

>>17611357
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GOD HELL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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>>17620017
>our sex life consists of me begging for most of the time.
well that's not a good sign

>>17620043
She has the lowest sex drive I've ever encountered and ironically it's probably from the birth control.

>>17611357
Wow, Asian chicks with ass.

>>17611357
I'm perfectly happy with who I am now, and although this sensation is brief, and fear and insecurity are waiting for me just around the corner, still I'll savor this feeling and hold it with all my might.
Two weeks passed, I envy the person I was before, the more I try to recall that feeling the more frustrated I become. I don't have the strength or the knowledge to bring it back, as if my own being is empty and only the action of another can do that.
I resent it, I'm not good in interacting with other people you see and that my own happiness is so dependent on them, that their closeness and what they think about me is so important to me just feed this newly found insecurity and self-hate on this never ending cycle.

>>17619913
>but all of it?
I think so but I’m exceedingly depressed and apathetic.

>>17620142
Then it's not your work's fault, it's your depression.

>>17611357
I was having a hard attack, almost crying and my face red as a tomato just because I had to introduce myself in an online classroom.
I knew I would fucking talk like a retard (like I did in my first two years) so I just got out of the room.
What's the fucking point of doing college, reading, working out, working, etc if I'm the same retard I'm still so terrible insecure of myself as the weakest teenager. I'm mentally the same as when I was a neet, but now I have no interest or time for nothing. Fuck there's million teenagers more mature than myself.

>>17611357
I used to see friends nearly every day, but now all my friends have gone off to college while I decided to take a gap year because I couldn't justify paying for online university. Got fired because of coronavirus, so I'm a neet for the first time in my life while almost totally isolated. Books and occasionally videocalling friends have kept me company, but I really miss meeting up with people in person. I feel like I'm wasting my youth, especially because my mental health has taken a downward turn for the first time in years. I am considering getting medicated. I've taken to wandering the more dangerous parts of my city at night for entertainment. I have lost contact with many friends due to the pandemic. A friend told me I had a nice voice so I spent some time recording a short story I liked as a kid, but I am not interested in polishing it. I am hoping medication will improve my drive without altering my mental state much.

All our knowledge, all our science, is the work of a handful of people really. These gifted individuals gave us all those fancy things around us that we take for granted. Yet many of those were mentally ill or socially maladapted. Back in the day, they worked in an an environment that was much less regulated, much less bureaucratized than ours, a time when there was much more room for experimentation and innovation, and they produced all sorts of fascinating things and made tremendous breakthroughs. Nowadays, we still have science, and we're still making steady progress in almost all fields, but at a slower rate it seems. Now, this is partially due to all the low hanging fruits being already plucked, but I think it also has to do with how our modern regulatory framework filters out eccentrics. If cannot submit a paper for peer review, if you refuse to hop through the loops, or to abide by all the rules, then the system will filter you out, period, regardless of how brilliant you might be. All of this leads me to wondering, what do eccentric prodigies do nowadays? There has to be a large number of maladapted brainiacs out there who can't make it through the system, and they must be doing something with their time. My guess is that they're working in tech, and not any sort of tech, but tech where you can work and innovate alone, or with minimal help, so probably crypto. Others I guess are attracted towards more banal pursuits, such as chess and competitive e sports. Someone should write a book on the subject perhaps.

It’s a good thing I don’t have a girlfriend because if I did I would probably lash out and beat her in moments of internal frustration and frustration over how the world sees me. I hate everyone and everything but I hate myself the most.

>>17620180
Have you considered it’s both and perhaps my depression is at least in part because of my work?

GOD
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A DULL PUDDLE, MURKY AND OPAQUE, GONNA DRY OUT IN THE SUN AND ONLY DUST AND DIRT WILL REMAIN
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Lately I've been finally getting that "I need to impregnate, put my seed inside someone" feel. Makes me feel alive.

>>17615956
Steppenwolf

I got nervous, ran away, and fixated on it the entire day. Pathetic

YAAAAAMEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I've already read the same amount of books in 2021 that I read in the entirety of 2020 and about the same page count too. 2020 was truly a waste of time.

How do people work a full time job and still have the time and energy to to write? I’m mentally exhausted.

I have seriously thought about writing an erotic weight gain story starring Meghan McCain. Slob elements would also be involved.

>>17620449
Having a woman beg you to cum inside of her is an insanely good feeling. It's so funny how many women say they don't want or hate children and then beg you in the heat of the moment to impregnate them. I wish my life was a little more set up so I could have kids. But then that's the whole thing, these days it takes so long to get set up - part of me is like fuck it, all my ancestors were poor and they still made me: maybe waiting is foolish.

>>17620794
Let me just say, as I have 3 kids, you’re never truly ready for children until you have them. and when you have them if you do make do and do have a logical amount of children, you’ll always find a way to make do. The key is relying on family until you can make real money, if you have a big family, there’s no reason not to just go for it.

Do you like yourself?

>>17620738
Slack off at it.

>>17620794
ok virgin

I WANT FIVE CHILDREN! YOU PARENTS IN HERE ARE ALL VERY LUCKY

>>17620804
Are they white, Frater? Tell me they're white and you're giving them a good education.

i dont have everything going for me but a good amount. i'm financially comfortable, relatively healthy physically and mentally, live in a nice area, have friends, get laid now and then, am at the start of a potentially long exciting journey of a career and yet i feel totally disinterested, even bored, tired of it all. tired of myself. have to poop but too lazy to stand up from bed. too lazy to put in the effort of living. ahhhhh

>>17620305
I also think I would be an abusive boyfriend. It's probably for the best that I stay away from women.

>>17620794
given that this post reeks of /pol/ its safe to say you have never even interacted with a woman who wasn't a family member or cashier or something. this is almost r/menwritingwoman worthy

>>17621239

I just realized I never laugh at anyone of my friends or relatives jokes and stories. I just fake a smile and that's it. But I do laugh at retarded memes and shit that isn't funny all the time. The other day for example I saw a comment in youtube "My therapist killed himself last week" and I couldn't stop laughing for a two minutes.

I just realized I never laugh at any of my friends or relatives jokes and stories. I just fake a smile and that's it. But I do laugh at retarded memes and shit that isn't funny all the time. The other day for example I saw a comment in youtube "My therapist killed himself last week" and I couldn't stop laughing for a two minutes.
I mostly don't care about anyone's life really, I always have to fake interest
I'm a narcissist?

>>17620184
The only medication you need is to tren hard anava good time at the gym
Online classes suck you aren't missing out

I am not good at anything. I used to ve good at reading and writing but i havent really written anything for a few years. I have probably lost my ability to do so. I suck at school. I cant stand doing homework and stupid discussions and art projects. I tried picking up trade work, but I'm not good with my hands and i'm clumsy. I have basically forgotten how to talk from years of social isolation. I don't know how to get out of this hole

I bemoan the absolute dearth of asian escorts in my country. I'm sick of having to fuck mayo women.

>>17621020
>white

I mean, we’re pure blooded Gypsy. We can pass as Italian but we can both trace our parents back pretty far. I often get confused for a Jew, an Arab, an Italian, Greek and so forth. Most often Jewish and Italian though. Genetics wise though, gypsies score around 55% euro 45% Indian on average. But yeah, best education possible.

>>17621438
thank you for the advice anon. I should find out if the gyms around me are open.

>>17621667
You live in Europe or? Gypsies are one of the most genuinely despised groups here.

>>17621705
Nah, although I have a ton of family in Europe and we back and forth for church related stuff. New York City born and raised. The hate for us is merited, thieving and lying and anti-intellectualism are the cores of our culture. To be fair though, the worst of us are Hungarian and Romanian Gypsy, they’ll fuck their own sisters and will steal children, both ours and yours, just to sell them.

We all buy-sell children but we do it as a alternative to adoption since we do not believe in abortion, they however just straight up steal kids. We also do not believe in friendship or romantic relationships with outsiders, but those Gypsy will basically perform prostitution and are a bunch of drug addicts. They don’t really stick to our core traditions and travel all around Europe quite a bit still. Most of us in Europe and the USA are much less active in movement. Here in the USA, most places don’t really even know what gypsies are. So that works to our advantage.

I’d be willing to say though the vast majority of us cannot read nor even write our own names, we easily make double if not considerably more than the average white family. Mostly because of all of the lying and stealing and scamming. We just happen to spend money as if we were blacks.

>>17621705
Oh and if you want some proof, check out the poetry thread. I write translations of various traditional folk Gypsy songs. Whenever you spot a person claiming to be a Gypsy online, ask them about our language. I’ve spoken to so many people online who have claimed to be Gypsy, but the second you speak a little of the language? They immediately fold or react aggressively.

I'm trying not to fap or look at porn for all of Lent. So far, so good.

>>17621655
Why escort? You don't feel confident otherwise? There are asians in pretty much every big city in the US.
It's sort of a guilty admission of mine, but I was happy to learn Japanese lack that general cynicism toward the US euros have (particularly due to the extreme hatred toward China and somewhat to Korea). The cynicism is justified politically, but I feel it gets out of hand with how harsh some people get toward any aspect of the society. For some reason Japanese give the US the benefit of the doubt, and if there's ever a huge political issue in the US then their right-wingers adopt the stance of US right-wingers and the left-wingers do the same (they did this a lot with BLM and Trump). It was a weird surprise coming from 4chan's anti-american tendency to discover it. I know that was very unrelated to your post, sorry

A lot of authors seem to have either 2) started writing at a young age or b) done a lot at a young age. It’s really starting to seem like guys like me, who just looked up at 26, 27, 28 to find the only real things we’ve done is go to college and maybe get a job have pretty much wasted our lives. But what else were we supposed to do? How can we make what we have left worth it? This keeps me up at night. I don’t have the story arc that they do. I feel like a fraud, a waste of youth, and a waste of life.

>>17621239
>r/menwritingwoman
looked this up. some of what's posted is bad writing but a lot seems like a perfectly valid way for a man to describe a woman sexually. why should we write like asexuals?

>>17621880
>2) started writing at a young age or b) done a lot at a young age.
not necessarily true if you mean writing fiction

>>17621864
Japs don't resent US because the nukes were necessary. I read that multiple japanese historians thought the Empire would not have surrendered without hiroshima. No, Japs realize they need American ally to prevent annexation from China

>>17622263
I meant writing in general, but fiction too. I think my observation holds with fiction.

>>17621880
you can still make up for it by reading a lot, 5 hours a day. However if you have a career or a family it will be hard obviously. Forget talent, writing is a game of discipline. That's why the canon is filled with the sons of aristocrats and industrialists--they had the money to live a life of books, which is a life of leisure and simultaneously a hermit's existence.

>>17622252
yeah, it's valid if you're selling soft erotica to men (via detective noire or clancy/bond serials) but that doesn't stop it from being cringe to everyone else

>>17621770
>>17621778
>tfw only on 4chan can a gyppo make me less racist and teach me about his people like it's a conversation with a strange traveller about his mysterious origins in a CRPG video game

Can I recruit you into my party Frater?

>>17622497
Really? I actually had the opposite experience, the more I read frater's posts about gypsies the more my hate for them grows. I actually used to not care about them at all.

>>17622348
Something like that yeah. When it comes to evaluating the morality of superpowers it gets hard because some brute force is necessary to maintain one's power, while other instances of it are more like cashing in power for slightly worse reputation since you're self-sufficient enough to do things other nations won't like, yet benefit from it. Anyway, I was also thinking about this on an individual level. I feel that other westerners' opinions on americans have tanked over the past decade or two and most are either skeptical or outright negative. Seeing that japanese are much more neutral or positive about the country overall is nice.

>>17622497
Kek, I do have that, recruitable side character feel, eh? Kek.

>>17622515
Oh I know, I’m not surprised. Most people wouldn’t be so honest about their own people. I think I’m pretty well positioned mentally that I can both say the positives and negatives soberly.

>>17622487
how has progressivism become so victorian? why should sexuality be scrubbed from anything other than "soft erotica". it's not like sexually attractive women are unrealistic or immersion breaking. that one example there from steinbeck is a fat ass in a time of starvation. why shouldn't this be commented upon? why shouldn't a healthy sexual appetite be addressed? it is the way we live in this world. i understand the feminist that women should not be reduced to sex objects and robbed of all agency, but these redditors are acting like any engagement of male desire for a woman not currently engaged in a sex act is excessive or pornographic or "fanservice" and wrong, like some code of right writing conduct, is being broken. IDK. i don't want to live in or read about a sexless world.

If love is the answer you're home, hold on, if love is the answer you're home, hold on, if love is the answer you're home...

The internet made a healthy lifestyle impossible, politics shoved in your face at all times- if you're not on social media you're missing out on how everyone communicates now, but if you're on social media you can't say the wrong thing or else it'll forever be tied to your name and roving bands of lunatics will doxx and harrass you... then Daft Punk splits, throwing a wave of nostalgia over my head to my childhood before the internet took this form, and now I'm about to start drinking this shitty feeling away yet again because nothing else will make it go away

>>17611357
this song goes very hard
love from kazakhstan
i hate women so much it's unreal

Some friends of mine the other day were talking about how they all had memories of taking part in group bullying when they were kids: of ganging up on children who were smaller, or slower, or dumber, or uglier, and mocking them, attacking them. Many of them mentioned that they felt great shame at the memories, and they said they recalled doing it, at the time, not because they felt any particular maliciousness, but because they just wanted to fit in with the rest of the crowd.

Which was really interesting for me to overhear, because I very pointedly have no memories of such a thing. I actually did not engage in such things when I was a kid. In fact, I have almost countervailing memories: memories of trying to befriend bullied kids, of spending time hanging out with them, taking an interest in their interests. I even once very pointedly got a bully suspended when he bullied my friend in the middle of the hallway.

Am I just some kind of special good person?

>>17622915
Maybe. I'm mostly like you but I technically did bully someone once. There was a special needs girl in elementary school that my friend and I often say by during lunch, and we would prank her by saying that a celebrity was in the room and she unironically believed it. We laughed our asses off. She never appeared upset by it or seemed to care much but we felt bad and eventually stopped.

My school system had a pretty light amount of bullying. There was one guy in high school named John who I shared a music class with, and he was either ignored or looked down on by people as he was a bit weird in an anti-social way. In Junior year though he got a cute short-haired brunette gf who was an introvert like him. Thinking about it still makes me jelly.

>>17622915
It makes me think about what it means to be a "good person" in that sort of deep-rooted "since childhood" sense - did you choose or merit your goodness, or were you just following unsolicited impulses, like the other kids were following theirs?

>>17622951
Yeah, that's definitely something to think about. A lot of the guys who were talking about their childhood bullying grew up to be pretty good people themselves, and they seemed genuinely ashamed of what they'd done as kids. So they didn't just grow up to be bad people.

>>17620998
No, i hate myself for being such a dumb, cowardly and lost guy.

>>17622915
i did this. what makes me feel worse and makes me a hypocrite as a spite-filled victim of bullying by the bigger dogs is that i loved it... the sadism and showmanship and cheap superiority of it. i had a real mouth on me when i was a kid. i had no trouble at all judging the entire world against my own metrics of worth and declaring them to those around me. i have spent my entire life since in repentence (i hate the person i was) and jealousy (i miss the power, i sometimes believe, when entertaining more nietzschean models of reality, that only weakness has crept in)

>>17622991
>spite-filled victim of bullying by the bigger dogs is that i loved it... the sadism and showmanship and cheap superiority of it. i had a real mouth on me when i was a kid. i had no trouble at all judging the entire world against my own metrics of worth and declaring them to those around me.
holy based... i see what andre gide is getting at in the immoralist about the noble amorality of boys

Eventually, Solitary starts talking to you. It’s quiet and intermittent at first. Occasional words calve in, as if slivers of thought were becoming dislodged. The trickle gathers slowly into a stream. After a while, it’s babble. In the end – with a peculiar laugh – you realize that you’re begging to be left alone.

>>17623469
Do you not talk to yourself, dude? I do it constantly. I do it all the time. I talk out loud to myself constantly. It's not exactly an empty silence.

>>17611357
The Origen of Language or The Muse of my Ardor


Her fleshy underpass pressed upon by nose: This is it--I thought--you either sink or swim. Her name was Kim, her quim was moist, and pungent like the smell of fertile earth, of shade-saved moss, but also carnal: a combination of the vegetable, even the flowery, and the animal. She moaned and rocked upon my mouth and chin. I could not feel myself breathing, but did not care; I felt quite dizzy but not at all nauseous. Then it came, a slight queef (not a fart) and she laughed and said "My pussy's talking to you, this is the language of pussy. Pussy has many tongues: the visual; the liquid; the muscularly oral but otherwise silent; and the lyrical or musically verbal proper." I wondered to myself, notwithstanding my state of overflowing excitement, "What does she..."--Again came the sound of a newborn queef: this one was tonally lighter, more elegant, even more self-assured (admittedly I found the terms ridiculous, but also absolutely accurate). "My vaginal song is an ancient one, it has--pardon the pun, for it is truly no pun at all--given birth to all the languages of mankind, and to all the poetry and musicality therein, in more senses than one." And at that moment I felt almost, as it were, reborn with complete and total understanding: all language was ultimately but a means towards a returning to the total comprehension of the womb: the echoes of its aquatic sounds would be but the accompanying embryonic words of our own formative flesh, entwined in one indivisible chrysalis of carnalized consciousness, of logotic flesh. The two joined in one form since the very instant of inception. By this point our positions had changed and I was well and truly within--and no longer beneath--her in my understanding...

I feel like there's going to be some big exposure about mass lead poisoning or something, like what happened with the leaded gas situation, that's causing everyone to be so aggressive and stupid.

>>17611399
I feel this
I'm nothing but a disappointment and I don't just drink bleach because I'm a coward too.
>>17615518
no I deserve death.

>>17622661
Same
God I hate this world

>>17621239
what the fuck are you talking about, schizo? how do you read that into the post you replied to?

>>17612037
The fleeting posts soon to disintegrate with time comfort us in our moments of gloom. It feels nice to see a human on the other side tell you that they wish to be your friend, but we all know its just paper sympathies, like winking at your own reflection. You can never actually enter the mirror, become with that person, which is what we truly desire. Not just a 'friend'. The word is so loosely applied in every day life and usually refers to the prosperous economics of well-acquaintance rather than real connection or communication. I know this is a cliche sentiment but its probably because its truer than most things. It might be satisfying to vent but then we aren't any better than exhausts. Every post on here, even many 'sincere', it's all just coins in the wishing well and then walking away. Even this post, with an appearance of reassurance, is just me speaking to the crowd waiting for the clapping hands so I can then return to the embrace of the person that really cares about me while they tell me what a good job I did, but there's no one there. We are all more like colleagues here. I want to be honest with anon and say that I would send light into your life if I could, but if many of us met in real life it would be like seeing your boring old wife, or a look-alike made of all your childhood clothes that you wish to be free from as much as they protected and comforted you. All caged up and bent for the looking glass. But, I suggest picking an autistic hobby and try and obtain recognition for that in real life. Visiting a library until you come across someone with a similar trajectory or something.

>>17621430
>But I do laugh at retarded memes and shit that isn't funny all the time.
well clearly, it IS fucking funny. how are you so insecure that you consider the sense of humor of normies to be superior to yours even though you plainly don't share it?

>>17621667
Italian don't look all like gypsies, Frater. You may be thinking about Italo-americans who have mostly sicilians origins

i'm secretly turned on by this

>>17622576
it's funny because I live in europe and everyone pretty much knows the things you outlined, yet I bet if the american or western european woke crowd got wind of it they'd go berserk with nonsense about racism and discrimination and the gypsies dindu nothing wrong and so forth, even though it's all generally true. luckily, they're not even aware gypsies exist it seems. anyway, appreciate your posts

>>17623550
I think this too sometimes

>>17621880
See yourself always at the cusp of time moving forwards. Experiment.

>>17613426
Tightest girl I've ever had was white. Loosest girl I've ever had was white, too.

>>17618883
India

I lost 50K today

Wow, the mods of /lit/ actually did it, they are gay af.

I don't want to hate transsexuals but janny makes me hate them.

>>17611357
>be me
>studied comparative literature at one of the best universities in the world
>gave up on writing
>now want a regular old job with nice pay
>looking to be a civil servant
>have none of the skills they require
>what do?

>>17624120
Get the skills obviously but I’d suggest you don’t actually want to be a civil servant.

four hours of sleep again

that stupid drivers license song made me cry and it's not even that good

>>17620738
you have to space it out. It's better to read 30min to an hour each day than not at all. It may feel pointless, but you end up finishing a book every week if you keep at it (obviously depending on size and difficulty though)

>>17611399
KEEP GOING ANON. YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT

I won’t fight for this world. I’ll fight against it or retreat as far as I can.

>>17623796
did what?

The ophanim crashed down at the Lakeside shopping center, threw up a nimbus of dust, patchworks of pavement, shopping carts bent into swastikas, mall santas and human-sized chess pieces, adult board games from a high-end toy store, sheet music for novelty songs, soda cans, baseball cards, fruit juice, and bright pink bakery boxes all became the aureole of a saint yet to come, His vague effigy formed from the acropolis of a Nordstrom with all its floors collapsed into one. I went in their with a mask and gloves, to the point of collision where Arcadia had been made from a Jamba Juice kitty-corner from Borders, nixies singing barcarolles kicking their legs in a chorus line, I went with pipettes to each eye upon a wagon wheel and took from them their milky philtre while they wept. Viscous aphrodisiac that ran down their wagon wheel bodies and conglobated in the virginal white of their wings, I gathered it all in little brown bottles kept at my side, then headed out the way I came passing in the process a Gamestop bisecting the mall's vestibule metamorphised into an ovular glass aviary, from which the tremulous cries of quetzel birds emerged. Returning to my favorite garden I throw open the gate and greet the one-eyed groundskeeper. In a gesture dismiss him as this must be done alone. The white fruits of my orchard are redolent with heady scents, thin-skinned and hemorrhaging their taille in intermittent streaks of sunset color. Most will be ready to harvest once I have finished my work. I am an expressionless psychopomp who guides unaffiliated spirits to a seventh heaven that is all at once craved and detested, a mountain nymph that makes mendicants of rich men, prostitutes of maidens, big spenders of the parsimonious and true believers of the agnostic. I penetrate the fruits down to the stone with a double-headed cannula, fill them with the seed of angels until their previously saturated state is now truly fit to burst, a whole orchard welling up with ophanims' torture to be sure. When the harvest will come no one can be sure, though it must come soon. Ophanims falling can really be no good omen

Tekken 3 characters' Socionics type based on their fighting style, which is behaviorism and bad typing but whatever:

Law: SEE
Ogre and True Ogre: LIE
Kuma: ?
Mokujin: Mokujin
Julia: IEE
Paul: SLE
Xiaoyu: ILE
Yoshmitsu: SLI
Nina and Anna: IEE
Heihachi: LSE
King: EIE
Lei: SLI
Jin: ESI
Hwoarang: SEE
Boskonovitch: Fuck him
Bryan: LSI
Gon: Fuck him too
Gun Jack: LII
Eddy: EIE

>>17624670
>Socionics
based
>Tekken
cringe

t. SLI

>>17624691

Tekken 3 is the only good one.

>>17624670
wtf is socionics?

>>17620331
Yes, the connection between your job and your depression has crossed my mind. However, we were not really talking about the causes of your depression, but about the question of whether a writer can write interesting stories about working (for example) in a supermarket. I have taken the position that interesting stories can be written about it. One of my favorite authors (Robert Walser) spend his life writing about office scribblers and similar creatures. These stories are among my most cherished reading experiences. I don't question that depression can stifle creativity. And it's clear that not everyone can write about every topic. Whether or not it's a topic for you remains unresolved until you shake off your depression and look at the world with a little brighter eyes again.

>>17620738
Do your writing before you go to work.

>>17620761
Go for it.