/lit/ - Literature

¿Do you have a small dick?

What book should I read next?

>>1747500
>>1747500
You are the ruler of a medieval empire and you are about to have a celebration tomorrow. The celebration is the most important party you have ever hosted. You've got 1000 bottles of wine you were planning to open for the celebration, but you find out that one of them is poisoned.

The poison exhibits no symptoms until death. Death occurs within ten to twenty hours after consuming even the minutest amount of poison.

You have over a thousand slaves at your disposal and just under 24 hours to determine which single bottle is poisoned.

You have a handful of prisoners about to be executed, and it would mar your celebration to have anyone else killed.

What is the smallest number of prisoners you must have to drink from the bottles to be absolutely sure to find the poisoned bottle within 24 hours?

When am I ever going to need to know this?

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

>>1747502

7"

>>1747507
You’ve got to be kidding me. I’ve been further even more decided to use even go need to do look more as anyone can. Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that? My guess is that when one really been far even as decided once to use even go want, it is then that he has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like. It’s just common sense.

What books have you read? Yeah all of them thanks.

Because quantity is the most important, right, bro?

Hardy Boys Casefiles don't count.

Sorry, the thread was meant in a kind way. Was willing to give a few pointers and recommendations and so on.

>>1747509

This filled my brain with fuck.

>>1747508
Talk to me in cm please.

What types of books do you tend to read? How has that changed over time?

How old are you?

What are your favorite books right now?

>>1747515
I'm not gay, but could we talk about non-gay things? Like just jacking each other off or something?

>>1747510
Most of the world classics in English, French, German and Italian (I speak Dutch also), virtually all of the central poets of the 20th century, a lot of philosophy, not counting about a good thousand porn novels ranging from victorian erotica to contemporary stuff.

I ask Von Taine to pick any 5 cards out of a deck with no Jokers.

He can inspect then shuffle the deck before picking any five cards. He picks out 5 cards then hands them to me (Tybrax can't see any of this). I look at the cards and I pick 1 card out and give it back to Von Taine. I then arrange the other four cards in a special way, and give those 4 cards all face down, and in a neat pile, to Tybrax.

Tybrax looks at the 4 cards i gave him, and says out loud which card Von Taine is holding (suit and number). How?

The solution uses pure logic, not sleight of hand. All Tybrax needs to know is the order of the cards and what is on their face, nothing more.

>>1747518
I just turned 30.

>>1747520
>>1747525
I'm going to use a trip now

>>1747504
>>1747522
You seem to confuse literary culture and intelligence. Never had any claims to the latter.

>>1747527
This troll doesn't even make sense. Fuck you 4chan. I hope you all die, you fucking faggots. I'm out of here.

>>1747527
>>1747527
>Ask someome who has read 5000+ books anything
>anything

>>1747529
Yawning. You bore me.

5000? I ain't even mad

Favourite books.

How much do you read in a year?

When did you start reading a lot?

>>1747530
>>1747530
>thinks reading 5,000 books = cultured
>can't answer simple logic questions

>>1747535
Yep, that's the way it is. Any questions pertaining to books maybe?

>>1747500
Ask someone who's read over ninethousand books anything

you sound boring.

>>1747536

I thought you were out of here. Go.

>>1747500
How do you know how many you've read?
How do you keep track?
Do you realize the number of books you've read isn't anything like Xbox-Live achievement points?
Can you prove it?

>implying reading 5000 books is impressive
>implying 5000 books lead to more intelligence
>implying OP isn't a sad neckbeard with too much time on his hands

>>1747538
you sound jealous

>>1747543
I do keep track of everything in a notebook.

>>1747536
>>1747536
maybe you could start up some discussion about critical theory and how you applied it to one of your favourite books.

or did you just read them for pleasure and not for any analysis or critical study which in turn ensures you take away the most pleasure from reading them

>>1747544
You should review your skills in logic

>>1747552
Critical theory has been dead since 1945, ask Adorno.

I read because I am paid to do so.

>>1747553
well if you read those three lines as following one after the other in a logical progression, you should review your reading skills. they're just sentences, not a logical argument....

>>1747557
>>1747557
>critical theory has been dead since 1945

>>1747557
how do you get paid to read? and what types of book?

>>1747547
LOL why would i

cultural aesthetics of a vermin.

>>1747533
Favorite Books:

Darcy O'Brien: A Way of Life, Like Any Other
Auden's Collected Poems
Wolfgang Koeppen's early novels
Max Frisch's Notebooks
Anything by Céline, especially the later novels
Lucretius, the Nature of Things
Tristan Corbière's Amours Jaunes

>>1747559
It is a joke made by Adorno in his Minima Moralia, you moron.

>>1747552

>which in turn ensures you take away the most pleasure from reading them

lolno.

>>1747558
Ever read Wittgenstein?

>>1747561
I read for one of the big publishers.

>>1747568
yes. and your point?

>>1747565
>>1747565
>Max Frisch's Notebook

well you are an embarassing douche but this is actually pretty neat

>>1747571
Meaning that sentences always are logical arguments.

My question: what drives anon to come on to the Internet and brag about something to a bunch of anonymous individuals who will ridicule you and assume you are lying (which you almost certainly are)?

What pleasure are you drawing from this farce?

>>1747577
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>1747567
>>1747567
not take away as in subtract, but take away as in gain from the novel.

>>1747566
>>1747566
>it's a joke
>i posted laughing girils
>joke
>laughinggirls

>>1747583
I wasn't bragging. Some of my colleagues have read much more than I ever will. Any college professor, even a doorman who works the night shift has read as much.

All one ever sees on this board are novices asking about 1984, Mishima, Seidel and so on, or idiots thinking Faulkner is better than Steinbeck or Steinbeck is better than Faulkner. Pathetic really, given the ubiquitous self-importance of the discussions.

>>1747586

Ah, you are beginning to loosen up. Good.

>Von Taine

>>1747535
>copies brainteasers from the internets
>criticises others for stupidity

>>1747592
>>1747592
>ubiquitous self-importance of the discussions.
>oh look it's ask a guy who's read X amount of books anything thread.

>>1747601
>>1747601
>thinks using the internet to get a brainteaser = stupidity
what a fucking moron you are.

>>1747594
when i depart the heavens to address a mortal like you, you should be grateful.

>>1747606
>>1747606
shut your fucking mouth you fat slut

>>1747606
this is immensely funny.

>>1747606

lol...check this bitch out..

do you actually think that such shit coming out your mouth won't make you look like a complete twat?

I am a published poet too by the way. Not in a major publishing house, but still.

>>1747503
Well, I just read the English translation of Georges Perec's "La Disparition", called "A Void". A brilliant translation, and a great book. A bit out of style maybe (nowadays even Sting quotes Calvino and the like), but still a major piece of experimental fiction about WWII and the Shoah.

>>1747549
Does the notebook with the list of books you've read count as a book you've read?

Fucking hell Brownbear, do you have to ruin EVERY thread you raging faggot?

>Von Taine

>>1747641
>>1747641
>implying i ruined such a shitty thread.

>>1747632
Actually, list-making is something you find in many of the world's great collections of essays (Weinberger, D'Agata, Perros, Dürrenmatt for instance). I do go through the notebook once in a while, and try to make sense of the various paths that tend to lead from one book to the next.

>I read because I am paid to do so.
Do you review those books for a publication? Why are you paid?

>>1747664
I review books submitted to us by agents (never, ever will you find a self-respecting publisher paying any attention to manuscripts submitted directly by authors. Just forget about sending in your great american novel. Envelopes aren't even opened. Get a job in a supermarket instead, much more promising.)

Then I work with the author and his or her agent on the text, making it publishable and, in all cases, better.

It pays well, and it's fun.

TC is either lying (likely), or has been reading a ton for years, and is at least 40 (unlikely).

Plz make him go away.

>>1747695
who tf is tc?

>>1747707
>>1747695
?

Well, to let this thread come to a close, let me quote Randall Jarrell (in a bizarre prefiguration of Woody Allen's parody of Yeats: "rejoice! rejoice! and call your mother once in a while.") , who said that the prospective reader should read "At whim! At whim!".

Have fun.

This thread is a classic example of tripfags leaping on anyone who actually knows their shit, never allowing the board to progress beyond its current cesspool state. Does anybody have recommendations for other boards where literature is discussed? This is getting tedious.

>>1747848
>>1747848
>guy claims to have read a number of books
>HE MUST KNOW HIS SHIT
not how it works retard

and other sites
first off check
http://www.google.com
and go from there.

>>1747852
not the claim, you douche. he just sounded intelligent unlike 95% of the people here. see: the minima moralia reference that you missed. you defend and attack without knowing anything hoping that we won't pay attention long enough (and usually we don't) to see that you don't actually have a set position. fuck off tripfag.

>>1747865
>>1747865
>he sounded intelligent
no he didn't
>missed the reference
i didn't miss it you faggot, read my post after his.
>defend and attack without knowing anything
you make arbitrary and ridiculous posts complaining about 'tripfags' when your inability to look past the namefield proliferates the ignorance you seem to want to be fighting.

how about instead of making this thread you go and make a thread about lit theory and i'll happily join you

My favorite book.

And another.

>>1747500
What is the size of your girlfriend's boobs, op?

I remember when I started out as a reader. I was curious about what I did not yet know, and respectfully asked more literate friends about their tastes, their experiences as readers, about the classics they loved or loathed, about the hidden gems they stumbled upon. Fine, keep reading your second-rate Gaddis. Fuck, impressing girls with Lovecraft, that really is low.

Taste, friends. Taste. And humility. And passion.

And I know nothing about tripcodes, I don't use them, and don't give a fuck if somebody usurps my identity. Go ahead.

Shit, I mean: I am a foreigner (French native speaker, working in the US), nobody even notices I'm too articulate not to have read my share.

>>1747927

I AM gay.

>>1747934

So, when did you start reading a lot? Or have you always been a big reader?

>>1747948
I started when I was a soldier, aged 18, because I was bored to death, and my boyfriend loved literature. I read what everybody reads when they start out: bukowski, kafka, flaubert, dante, and went from there. In school I hated books, but

I can't think of anything to ask you, so why don't you just tell me whatever you want. Opinions, lists, bits of info, whatever.

>von taine
Wait a minute...
>foun tain
This seems rather...
>fountain head

RAND, is that you posting from beyond the grave again?!

>>1747985
>boyfriend
and all becomes clear

>>1748253
Yes I am gay, and that is just fine this way. I have had my share of women mnd you, so I hope I can partake to some measure in your literary tastes.
>>1748022
A bit of culture would point you towards Jean de La Fontaine, the great fabulist.

>>1748019
A list: a few well-known books that convey an impression of LIFE, the only meaningful esthetic critical category in this post-theoretical age:

Henry James: Portrait of a Lady
Ezra Pound: ABC of reading
Henry Miller: The Rosy Crucifixion, especially Plexus
William Carlos Williams: The Doctor Stories
Jules Renard: Nature Stories
Edward Thomas: Collected Poems
Alfred Döblin: Berlin Alexanderplatz
Valery Larbaud: Barnabooth
Charles Peguy: the poetry
Plus a hilarious interview Dorothy Parker gave the Paris Review years ago, classic.
Guy Davenport: Geogrraphy of the Imagination

Another list: three books you should read if you don't want to die an idiot:

Victor Hugo: Les Misérables. Read it, period.

Fritz Zorn: Mars. THE classic about cancer, and the most powerful book since the end of WWII.

John Ford: 'Tis pity she's a whore. You'll understand something about literary history, and why you should start paying attention to your pleasure when reading.

>>1748359
Are you just trying to sell us water pumps?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFQqys7q4fg

>>1748412

I read 'tis pity she's a whore for class when I was like 14 and hated it. Why do you think it's so important/interesting?

>>1748419
I was going to get to that. But instead I'll think of a list of great water depictions in world literature.

>>1748419

Isn't a water dispenser sort of redundant when you live next to a waterfall?

>>1748448
Well it isn't for you because you obviously had a magnificent teacher, and took sides with the philistines. For everybody else, simply because it is superior to virtually all of the surviving Elizabethan literature (including Shakespeare), but is made practically unreadable by a critical tradition that tried to salvage second-rate authors from their deserved oblivion, and enforces esthetic paradigms that deaden our main sensory organ: the heart.

>>1748464

You're right, my teacher was magnificent. I always felt like I should have loved it, if you read a summary of the story it sounds fantastic, but reading it I just couldn't get into it. But then, I was only 14, so I'll reread it soon as I still have a copy.

Could you expand on your other point, please? What second rate authors were salvaged, how do they enforce aesthetic rules or styles, and how does this corrupt our hearts?

Have you read anything /not/ Western?

Has it been asked already how you got your job?

bamp

>>1748383

Shouldnt Fitzgerald be on that specific list?

>>1748623
Yes indeed. Thanks. Great author, great man.

>>1748515
Well, my cv is somewhat peculiar. I spent some time in jail for minor offenses, worked as a vegetable salesman for a couple of years, was in the army for a few months, got a PhD from in Europe, did a post-doc in an Ivy-League, worked for a very famous film director, and so on and so forth. Audacity is key, as Danton would say, were he still alive. Not bullshit, audacity. Do what you love, love what you do.

>>1748638

Shame to admit that i havent read any of the others, the impression of life line you used immediatly applies to Fitzgerald to fitzgerald though.

What would be a good start?

>>1748501
To be honest, not much, the Quran (Coran in French, En. spellin' dubious), the four chinese classics, some Hindu mindfuck, lots of japanese modernism.
But really, the western world is the only place small enough to drive brilliant minds away, and thus get to know the world, the stars, the cosmos, the light itself.

>>1748647
Tender is the night

Most underrated books?

Also, any good mediterranean writers, particularly Albanian?

>>1748653

I meant on the list of books you mentioned. I have read all of Fitzgerald. I liked The Great Gatsby best.

>>1748652
What Japanese Modernism have you read?

>>1748662
start with Kawabata and Ryunosuke (maybe some ogai for historical perspective), best western translations available.

>>1748643
I can't tell if you are for real or not. If you're for real then you go girl. If you're trolling then I'd say 9/10.

Just getting into reading. Senior in high school.
Which of these should I read first and second?

>>1748659
Never read anything albanian, not even Kadare. Spent a week in Tirana years ago though, lovely place.

Any good Czech stuff?

>>1748677

Well then never mind that, just recommend something absolutely brilliant that has never received its due.

Sorry. Then, Jules Renard. Spontaneous and merely mnemonic translation of a one line poem of his:

"Butterfly: love-note looking for the address of its sweetheart"

Mag-ni-fi-cent.

>>1748669
Heh, wasn't asking for recommendations, just curious about what you've read of it. I'm pretty well-versed in it already. Nice to see you mention Ogai though! He's almost completely ignored on /lit/.

>>1748671

Hitchhikers and Moby Dick

>>1748690

oh fuck thats beautiful

>>1748690
was replying to >>1748653

Hows your non-fiction knowledge?

>>1747613
i'm sorry but i am too caught up in admiring my face to notice you

>>1748671
I would vote for American Psycho.

>>1748702
so-so. But I know some literary theory (fan of Empson the poet and of Empson the critic), lots of philosophy, minored in history. But nothing really compared to my love for fiction.

>>1748717

Favorite philosophical and historical texts?

>>1748495
>>1748495

You seem to have skipped over me, OP.

>>1748495
Sorry about that.

Listen: after years of reading, you just end up looking for pals. Assholes are everywhere (Gaddis, Styron, Tugeniev), their cooler elder brothers are legion (Joyce, Mann and their ilk), good friends need to be hand-picked and kept fondly for ever in your aspiring heart, and trusted, and reread, and listened to. Ford was one of them for me.

Academics are the impotent cousins of them all.

Von Taine is how all posters on /lit/ should be.

Loving some actual literary discussion and knowledge for once

>>1748720
Janet Malcom: in the Freud archives. Hilarious

>>1748679
>>1748679
>>1748679
>>1748679

Von Taine, do you have an opinion on Bolano?

>>1748737

Yeah, I feel that true enough. Thanks.

>>1748742
Well, Mahler (Czech) demonstrated awesome taste when he picked the poems of Rückert (German) for his Kindertotenlieder. That says it all I think.

>>1748746
St-Peter is self-reflecting on my account, so I'll skip Bolano.

>>1748763

I'm sorry, what do you mean?

>>1748763
I mean that self-awareness is meaningless unless it is concerned with morals.

>>1748773

And how did you come to that conclusion?

>>1748787
Do your graduate studies first, then ask again. Really man, do you believe the post-modern morons for one single minute? The present (in general) is pretty unconvincing, don't you think? The past and the future make a better case for themselves (ask Rob Brezny).

I mean: we all know that knowledge is by nature approximative, and tentative, and biased, and that it cannot exist as a cultural artifact without being told and listened to. Fine. Now concentrate on the important stuff, like being happy, and good, and fun.

when do plan to have sex for the first time?

>>1748808

>The present (in general) is pretty unconvincing, don't you think?

Not sure what you mean by that...I do completely agree with the second part of that post though.

Good thread, that.

>>1747626
>>Shoah
Just say Holocaust, pretentious cunt.

>>1749625
He said he was a foreigner.

>>1748696

1. Have you read Mishima and if you did, what opinion do you have?
2. That butterfly poem was insufferably saccharine and cheesy. YMMV of course
3. Borges. What have you read?

If you haven't read any Borges...there are no words.

>>1749629
only Jews call it that. It is like talking in a office party and asking about the hors d'oeuvres, pronouncing and enunciating it as the French do.