/lit/ - Literature

Alright. Everybody be cool and nobody gets called a faggot.

also, feel free to link your google docs or royalroads or whatever it is ITT.

>>17411374
Attention /hyperlit/ frens.

With this link we write Gorkoniker's seminal work "Bantic Discourses: On the Creation and Future Evolution of Neo-Babelics"

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1qR1nFUpX7_eCZ9jCqpQlv5I77qkBeb4JFDBy5dhYFbM/edit?usp=sharing

>>17411506
holy fucking based. oookay i'm gonna have to smoke weed about this.

>>17411374
canva graphic design is my passion. also ooga here, 004 link gone from "shared with you" on canva, shoot me the new one if you moved it

>>17411575
O yeah I just created a new project.
I’m just walking out of the store now, I’ll smash you with the link in 15 mins.
Also I forgot to post the Pyongyang Technical article on the site so I’ll do that too. Gawdspeed the Prush.

>>17411575
>>17411608
okay i shared the 004 WIP with your email address.

>>17411575
Did you make that in Canva?
i'm impressed. there's a dozen or so submissions worth dropping; i can push you some just give me the green light.

if I want to write an article for this, whats a word count I should aim for? any particular theme?

>>17411814
Yeah messed around and made a few formats for coming submissions, shoot me those submissions, i'm ready

>>17411838
i guess i would suggest trying to keep it under 7000, but i'm flexible.
i've tried to employ themes for issues but it never really pans out. this issue is leading with a piece about DFW, so there's that?
you can check out the elite chatroom mentioned in the OP for other ideas.

how do the formats work? is it sort of like a cover for your work/how the sort of background looks? im a little confused

>>17412015
the template is just the same size or dimensions as a page in the magazine. the design on the template is just a placeholder, its nothing.

>>17411523
Looking forward to your contributions!

>>17411374
>the library gym was closed again
What's even the fucking point?

>>17411374
If you read or contribute to this, you are the problem with this board. You are person who is driving /lit/ toward its irony-laden facetious demise. You are the /pol/ invasion. You are the /r9k/ invasion. You are the dweebs posting "What am I in for?" You are the dickweeds posting half nude women to get people in your retarded off-topic threads. Get a life. Actually read. Or leave this board and take your shit back to /r9k/ or whatever teenage irony-laden shithole you waddled out of.

>>17412191
that's not true i resent those threads as much as you do. this project is simply for anons to exercise themselves creatively while building something that will hopefully stand as an asset professionally or personally. i recommend an entrepreneurial approach: make your own, remix it, break away, condemn us, condone us. even if you saged the thread you are still contributing to the LORE. you are your own foil.

forgot a submitted something, just checked and it was included in the feb issue. very proud. mag looks great

>>17412303
well done. which piece?

>>17412191
Have you read the magazine? There's actually some great stuff in there. It's very entertaining. Why are you being a poopy-pants?

Gorkoniker is such a towering figure.
I wonder if he appreciated Adnil and the antiques.

>>17411374
>The cover does not look like a dog eat cotton candy and threw up everywhere
I might actually read it now

>>17411374
Hey OP, I'm a little confused, what's the proper way to submit photos/writings to you for the print magazine?

>>17412146
>spaciotemporal library holographics out of service
NO HOW DO I GET OUT OF HERE THE EXIT WHERE’S THE EXIT?!

>>17412402
kek. not the first suggestion i've heard to make it calmer. noted.
>>17412403
by email. with images the larger the better, be sure you own them or at least stole them properly.
submit writing via email, raw or any file type or format.

>>17412445 You need to reconfigure "Any Beam" to melt from jet fuel, not just the steel ones.

>>17412104
Oh i understand. so your essentially just getting a pixel measurement for how you want to make your page look.

>>17411374
If you want art make a thread in /ic/. They would be more than happy to contribute. Most of it is crap though.

>>17411506
can you give me a rundown on the sort of writings supposed to be contained? I can assume its based on language

>>17411374
publish my balls

>>17412627
exactly.
i'm about to update the template right now though because there is space around the edge of the page that will get cut off by the printer and without which your words should not cross.

>>17411374
If I sent you my balls in earnest would you publish them?

>>17412711
checked.
i've tried to source most other boards for contributions but its not always easy. i can't remember if i've tried /ic/ but it's worth a shot.

what is hyperlit? is it just longer form submissions that can be made into their own standalone booklets?

>>17412763
only if it was done in earnest.
i wouldn't stand the publication of balls half-cocked.

>>17412754
alright, post it when you can homie

>>17412778
based

>>17412773
there's a really dope QRD out there that inspires. can't find it though.
/hyperlit/ is a semifictional universe of philosophers, writers, thinkers, academics, ideologies, ideas, and words. it really has nothing to do with &amp, i just try to make space for it because i think its fucking great and i'm trying to encourage the project to grow.

>>17412781
thar she blows. its in the chatroom too.

>>17412812
like this?

>>17412562
I’ve fallen down the damned Plato Pits and retracing my prior steps have only led me deeper into the Tradcathacombs. To pass the next gate, I need to pass a Canon Exam on 13th century Scholastics. See you in couple months /lit/

>>17412733
Yes of course. So there's not really a limit on what you can or cannot write about as it's supposed to be about absolute freedom. However, the 'concept' of the work is Banticism and Neo-Babelics which are fake philosophies.

Banticism is basically concerning how language affects evolution and religion.

Neo-Babelics is basically the theory that we make contact with God through speech.

>>17412773
This is the current hyperlit thread.

>>17411839

>>17412881
Interesting. I feel like I have an idea for that second one, much luck

>>17412914
Thanks, I'd love to see it, godspeed.

003 looks great boys

>>17412848
exactly.
also based article, was that Shakespeare?

>>17412949
holy shit my margins were perfect there. thanks for the snap anon. which rear cover did you get? the ILLEGAL AND RARE EGGLESTON MILEHIGH COCKTAIL or the standard psychedelic slime?

>>17412949
i guess the triforce looks a little off but NOT BAD for being raised by wolves.

>>17412949
flip it overrr

>>17412191
This.

>>17413152
like i told the other anon, you contribute to the intricacy of the story told by this project in your attempt to condemn it. you bump the thread that represents that which you apparently reject. you are the faggot participating against the grain complaining about your situation. you showed up already BTFO.

>>17413170
Cope

anybody ever use this site when writing?
https://niftyword.com
love this shyt

>>17412986
>>17413137
I got the boring non illegal version

>>17413279
But I have the pdf of the spicey first printing

>>17413279
hot sauce.
i know if you did get the Eggleston you wouldn't be allowed to admit it anyway. thanks again for the pic

>>17413284
v& and b& for the ampers&

What's the policy here for NSFW stuff? I'd assume gore/porn are (rightfully) banned, but is there anything else specifically?

>>17413811
checked.
there are no official obscenity guidelines.
i've turned down a lot of low effort racist submissions so if someone was going to make a racist submission it should be high quality.
the idea was for the magazine to be 'censorship resistant' whatever that means.
so long as the piece has artistic merit i don't have any problem with NSFW.
for example full frontal genitals or boobs should be fine in an artistic context.
i'll check with the printer right now actually and see what we can get away with.

>>17413811
so pic related is MagCloud content guidelines.

>>17413811
what are you thinking of exactly?

>>17414024
it says no hate speech but idk if they are specifically monitoring for that, i doubt it.
if we do happen to get censored by the publisher, we will have to switch publishers and wait for that to happen again, or we'll need to do what The Lit Quarterly does and raise money to buy the catalog and sell it ourselves so that anons don't have to create an account to order online.

>>17411374
i like this, any other good magazines similar i should check out?

>>17414251
there are no substitutes for &amp.
i do read magazines in general though, some of my favorites are COLORS, Fangoria, Granta. if you find something similar to this let me know.

>>17414191
I may or may not have a piece of poetry that resembles one of those ASCII penises.

>>17411506
I do have a question about hyperlit. there are some pieces that have been added to the hyperlit canon; is there a specific process to add to such a canon?

>>17414367
love it.

>>17414390
if you want &amp to publish it then submit it via
lamp.lit.magazine@gmail.com
but simply participating in /hyperlit/ threads and expanding on ideas helps develop the canon.

my suggestion would be to write a book and have it published online for free in paperback, nothing major, can be as small as a couple thousand words.
when it comes to the canon listed on the &amp website; i'll put anything you want there if it looks and smells like /hyperlit/.
we'd like to keep the quality as high as possible. poorly written works are cast in the degenerative category.

>>17414417
sounds wonderful my friend. thank you for answering my questions tonight.

>>17414390
You can go back through the archives to find all the lore that's already been developed for the /hyperlit/ threads.

>>17414417
>>17414390
i use the term Classical Canon to refer to texts written collaboratively by hand,
and the term Contemporary Canon to refer to works written by an anon, by hand.
the degenerative category was largely written by artificial intelligence during the Academic Machine Crisis ca. ~2xxx give or take.

>>17414440
this. this is actually the only real way to properly source raw canon. i did this for Pseudae it was retarded i had a lot of fun.

>>17412146
>the library gym was closed again
Use that. Write something crazy.

>>17411374
Fuck, this is some awesome shit. The quarterly should have been on this level

>>17415071
the editor for TLQ and i are cool, we've traded submissions. mandatory shout out, crucial influence. turboprops.

You guys take retarded free verse that fucks with formatting? I'm about to publish my third book, a poetry collection, but some of it probably won't fit thematically. Could just give it to you guys.

>>17415235
sounds original. yeah definitely smash that into the email:
lamp.lit.magazine@gmail.com

>>17411374
Ok, what the fuck is this ?

>>17415411
>your post
>dubs
i can check those for you anon.
submit something. i believe its in you.

>>17415510
I will, if I could understand what this is about and what submissions they accept

>>17415532
its a literary magazine made by /lit/
they will accept anything from fiction to nonfiction, from 2 words to 10,000 words, poetry, essays, manifestos, manuscripts, hatemail, love letters, litanies, declarations, advice columns, public rows, political discourse or immaterial persiflage.
or anything else. its truly up to you.

check out the website, its free to download.
LampByLit.com

Let's write an article, one paragraph at a time. I start:
>Every decent anon has spent a vast amount of his time pondering over the gf question. Why, indeed, does the lack of a gf cause such an existencial dread on the average anon? But first of all, before the conjecturing and spaghetti spilling, we must tackle the problem at its core and trace the genalogy of the gf.

>>17415576
>Upon initial inquiry into the nature of our virginity and its relationship to the absence of any known gf, we at once synthesize reasons to remain kissless and simultaneously guarantee that any personal associates of ours share in this curse. The pattern develops a recursive iterative cycle when left unchecked.

>>17412146
this is a great meme thank you for trying to make it happen.

>>17415602
>i want gf. but no can have gf. but why? is it bcuz am dum? is it bcuz am ugly? feels inside me when i see girl but she no can see me.

>>17415646
Cummies. The problem lies in the cummies. The desire to spill my cummies over a pretty girl's face overtakes my very being. My rationality is gone as the cummies grow inside of me. To spread your cummies is to state your will over the world. I'm invisible to girls because they can't seem to understand the will to cummies.

>>17415646
Forgot the greentext.
>Cummies. The problem lies in the cummies. The desire to spill my cummies over a pretty girl's face overtakes my very being. My rationality is gone as the cummies grow inside of me. To spread your cummies is to state your will over the world. I'm invisible to girls because they can't seem to understand the will to cummies.

>>17411374
i checked out the website and i have hope for this board again

unironically great work, made me want to finish something up

>>17415712
i appreciate it. we have eachother to thank.
i genuinely look forward to reading your submission. nothing gets me more hyped than reading new submissions.

>>17415694
>Over the course of our anthropological historicity sociosexual stimuli specifc to the female reproductive ritual is that rite in the act of rendering her male partner's sex organ erect. In carrying out the performance manually, she learns to build and manipulate and configure.

>>17415779
Hey, mr. Editor. Loved the vaporwavy aesthetic of the magazine. Pretty cool.

>>17415865
thx doggy. consider stealing your neighbors mail and plagiarizing it for the next issue!

What does & amp even mean? Why that ag name

>>17416109
& is markup for an ampersand (HTML),
also ampersands are a literary instrument,
also the ampersand kind of looks like an L,
also there's a pun between Lamp and Lit.

>>17416149
contrived

>>17416282
If you'd ever looked at the source code for a website you'd get it.

>>17416334
I know HTML, and I "get it." Nevertheless I agree with >>17416282 that it's wholly contrived and pseudy as shit.

>>17416368
>>17416282
All names are contrived, what's your point?

>>17411374
cringe cover
this muh ironic 90s quirky style is old and dated. you're making /lit/ look like a 2nd rate art school. hope everyone ITT will suffer

>>17416432
zero IQ post

>>17416368
>pseudy
ok sweaty

>>17416448
hi brook

adore bechamel caressing diligence epic fiddle gargantuan host i just knelt lithely most needle open prepaid quests rose skywards totem under viable wench xenomorphic yolk zinc

absentee ballots coddled dwindling efforts first gurgled here invariably jest keenly lit moorish nonsense off punked queers reaping sudden treacherous ultra veinous wonky x'hosa yankee zygomycosis

as ben caught diverging electricity fires geographically heterogeneous insulated jubilating kodiaks loosely marched north on promised quadrants rising to undo vicious wiggers xraying yall zoos

am brute cares dire emit fist grug he-man in joo knowhow lost mammal not oblivious purpose quaint regal style totally uncool viagra weep xanax (you) zombie

>>17416432
The point is your magazine is shit and I feel bad for anyone who buys into it.

>>17416481
maybe you could make it better by contributing something to the project. otherwise you're hanging out in somebody else's thread kek.
are you a writer?

>>17416476
that is...
really something.

>>17416502
Why would I want my name associated with this? Get real. This thread should be deleted for advertising.

>>17416513
This. OP take off "by /lit/" from your shitty magazine and fuck off.

>>17416513
There is no attribution, also this is a /lit/ collab work, and /lit/ is the only place submissions come from

>>17416513
nobody's name is associated with it.
it's Anonymous.
you're not really much of a reader are you.
i imagine you can't write much either then.
not a huge deal. run along now, little faggot, don't forget to drown yourself on the way out.

>>17416513
>>17416521
>>17416481
>>17416463
>>17416448
samefag editor who ragequit because i veto'd his clipart. drink some water and thanks for the bump.

>>17416553
Kek btfo

>>17416553
Stop

>>17416553
I've never been associated with this lame endeavor, bro. You can pretend I must have some discriminatory animus to think you suck and don't belong here if it makes you feel better, but I'm just speaking the truth. You suck and you don't belong here.

>>17416573
>and all the rest are by the same person
Wow great point you proved

>>17416579
you're retarded either way, the design is great
I've never read literary magazines before because I found them boring but I'm glued to this one

>>17416582
Why don't you just fuck off? Take your shitty rag with you.

>>17416579
do you write?
did you ever contribute to any of the handful of books /lit/ has written? Hypersphere, or Coronameron, or Legacy?
did you ever make a submission to The Lit Quarterly?
did you contribute any commentary toward the recent Moby-Dick collab?
what's your opinion on those?

>>17415576
>>17415602
>>17415646
>>17415694
>>17415792
Contribute to the article, you faggots!

>>17416620
None of those things matter, so I shan't be answering them. If you want to advertise your magazine, you buy ad space like F. Gardner. This thread needs to be deleted.

>>17416510
affording beautiful comments directly ends fighting holistic inquiries judiciously kneaded love may not offer quenched rationales simply through unabashed vexations wherefore xanadu yeeted zongo

>>17411374
I started running
In the morning, at sunrise
My body thanks me

Missed connection:
You were the one wearing a red swimsuit at the waterpark
I was the one that told you to piss off and die, &c. when you confronted me about cutting in line
You looked so beautiful as you stormed off with tears in your eyes, please call me so we can make babies (555) 123-XXXX

Actors needed for slice-of-life play
6 hour long play that will be performed 2 days a week in my house
Role consists of doing laundry, vacuuming carpet, walking dog, and more!
Small audience of me, my wife, and my 10 year old son
No pay, but great acting experience

>>17416582

>>17415792
>>17416625
>By the very design of having been blown the fuck out, the victim reels asunder and loses basic motors skills such as the ability to walk. Damage inflicted during such sensitive stages of adolescent growth can permanently scar our young victim and create longlasting behavioral issues.
>pic related

>WHY AREN'T YOU CONTRIBUTING TO THE FORCED BOARD CULTURE
jej

>>17416734
We are.
So are you.

>>17416734
It's sort of funny. He's desperate for good content, but his magazine is so bad the writers of good content want nothing to do with it.

>>17416712
saved thx g unit

>>17416771
yeah i saw a post he linked to as an example of something "good" that he would like publish and it was some super pseudy "musings" on aesthetics in a faux german style, really god awful shit, that's when i lost what little interest i had in that obnoxious project

>>17416771
Brook's BVRGVRPVNK wasn't really "good" content but i suppose it wasn't terrible. i'll try to honor his tradition of clunky prose when I assume control of its
L O R E
O
R
E

>>17416716
Kek
>tfw no gf
>tfw no cummy wummies
>wtf man
>why no wummies man
>He shifted his weight and clenched his teeth.
"Pass the Soï, Boi,"
>please just leave me alone

>>17416716
>pic related
Lol.

>>17416716
Is this real life? What happened?

>>17416910
nuthin.
i took out the recycling.

Do you still accept photography submissions? I’m thinking of writing some stuff over a photo and sending it

>>17416716
>each month
i thought this was supposed to be a larp of a lit journal, those are usually quarterly rarely if ever monthly, god the guy making this doesn't even read lit journals does he

>>17416716
so when you don't do what he wants he puts you on blast and steals your "Lore">>17416794
by all means submit to this guy's magazine. Hell is other people.

>>17416716

>ALL CUM AND NO GF MAKES JACK A DULL BOY
>ALL CUM AND NO GF MAKES JACK A DULL BOY
>ALL CUM AND NO GF MAKES JACK A DULL BOY
>ALL CUM AND NO GF MAKES JACK A DULL BOY

Here's some "shitty clip art" rejected by Lamp. Assuming this comment was directed at me. Never thought of myself as an editor just someone who offered to help with layout. Perhaps others will find some merit in my attempts.

Such abuse for a mild criticism. That's what I get for trying to help Anon. What will you get?

>>17418125
>>17418208
Are these the final designs? I'm not a huge fan

>>17412191
>>17418208

Are you the same anon? Half this thread is a bunch of posts that sound like angry sour grapes. You can't come start shit and expect there not to be a clap back.

>>17417001
Absolutely.
>>17418208
>>17418125
Kek. Why would drag these awful images through this pretty thread? Looks like a cross between Ed Hardy and an Old Navy graphic T.
You’re fired.

this shit blows

>>17418498
what don’t you enjoy about it?
are you a fan of other /lit/ Colman’s?

>>17417001
I’d love more photography;
If you end up submitting photography, be sure to submit the highest definition images possible. Thanks doggy.

>>17418619
We going to Akron, OH, now boiz

>>17411374
Great job, OP. Just placed an order. It didn't tell me how long it would take to ship to UK though...

>>17418721
depends which option you chose, but if you chose the cheapest, shouldn't take more than 2 weeks.

I suppose poetry in a language that is not English would be hard to include in such a publication, right?

>>17418751
not at all; i'd love to publish some non-english poetry.
there are no rules regarding content.
go ahead and smash your stuff into lamp.lit.magazine@gmail.com and i'll publish it in the next issue.

>>17411374
Did we seriously make this? How have I missed this? Good stuff, especially the one about Commie Blocks in North Korea.

>>17418986
thx doggy.

Just pointing out that the hard copies are really well-made and pleasing to the eye and the hand and the brain.

>>17419730
>>17419730
ayo thanks my guy. i wanted them to jump off the table or the newstand, i'm glad you appreciate it.
the physical prints are darker than i expected so that's something i'll make note of.
hopefully you've submitted something, if not, we'll be here all year,

i have a bunch of poems and little short story stuff. should i send all of them? will it be anonymous? do you just publish anything?

The mare story is really great, and of course Dear Mr. Pynchon.

>>17420037
ayy yeah submit anything you'd like to get published. everything is attributed to anonymous or a penname under certain circumstances.
i'll publish anything yes, so long as its good enough. when it comes to single page submissions like short poems, ads, memes, shitposts, or microfiction, i'm more inclined to just print it since its small (also a variety of single page submissions is great content for reading).
longer submissions like short stories, essays, op-eds, etc, (those that take up 3 or more pages) will get a little more scrutiny, but if you look over the past issues, there's always a healthy amount of trash and filler.
i recommend submitting what you have simply for my benefit (because i love reading new submissions) but also in case you're interested in getting it published in the print edition.
>>17420167
thx doggy i wrote the one about the dead horse.

>>17413999
TRIPLES

>>17420437
holy fuck how long have those just been sitting there unchecked? thanks anon.

>>17418573
Go to /p/ and ask for some. The threads are slow but the photographers are pretty good at what they do. Also you could take out ads to increase readership of the publication. 4chan ads are pretty cheep I think. A little cash could go a long way.

>>17420882
i plan on taking an ad out soon i can.
i sourced /p/, they've been a goldmine. them and /3/.

bump

I have a short story I can submit. Not that it’s any good.

>>17422612
That's perfect, because &amp doesn't publish anything good.

how do I pronounce it, &amp?

/x/file edition when?

I submitted a piece of flash fiction, this looks pretty great I'd love to be a part of it.

Would you accept a screenplay? I am a screenwriter and I think that I have an original screenplay that functions similar to a short piece of fiction much like Eugene O' Niel's "Long Day's Journey into Night" which functions similar to a novel.

&amp is a content thief running a vanity press.
>>17416794

Then he'll doxx you or threaten to.>>17418043

Bump

How come every time someone on /lit/ cobbles together something halfway decent and entertaining, some nigger who takes himself too seriously has to show up, spam the thread with bitching and complaining, and try to derail the whole thing?

>>17424852
Main character syndrome

I’ve been reading 003 this weekend and love it. This is real shit you arent going to find anywhere else. Cheers everyone l

>>17416637
This. The guys who write this magazine are massive hypocrites. They even had the gall to write that cringe fake obituary for Gardner in their last issue. You guys had the opportunity to review his books or something. Now you just seem like hypocritical idiots. Gardner advertises, while you guys just make shill threads like this.

>>17422656
kek
>>17422833
checked. the ampersand kind of looks like a capital L, kind of, sort of,
>>17422839
i've had this idea since day one. my homeboards are /x/ and /lit/. i would love to do an /x/ edition soon.
everytime i bring anything to /x/ though, nobody cares, which makes sense. maybe they'll be intrigued by /hyperlit/. i'll aim for a spooky summer this year. or maybe circa halloween.
>>17422902
got a batch late lastnight. stoked to read it. thanks my dude.
>>17422970
yeah my man. we haven't had a screenplay submission yet. i was considering writing one myself for practice or experience. i'd love to see your work. thanks.
>>17423643
you can have the submission you submitted back. i plan to commandeer the title and future of the story so that we can bring it to an end after 3 parts instead of leaving readers hanging off of Volume 1. not sure how you construed an attempt to threaten or dox you from some comment about cummy wummies but i've seen you meltdown over much less so its not a surprise. if you agree to let me publish Volume 2, and you agree to write and submit Volume 3 (completing it), then i won't have to hijack your #LORE and conclude BrOoKs bVrGvRpVnK on my own.
>>17424852
it happens in Lit Quarterly threads as well, though maybe for different reasons. anons i guess became upset that TLQ began accepting submissions outside of /lit/.
this guy is upset because i wouldn't let him just take over as Editor-in-Chief and use his clipart for 004's cover.
>>17425000
C H E C K E D
Trips of Fortitude
>>17425776
i ordered and read Call of the Arcade when it was free online. it is poorly written and terribly constructed. i wrote the obit and all of its criticisms of Gardner's work still stand. to actually review it would be an exercise in masochism. you've outed yourself as having bad taste.
besides, these threads are for the organization of ideas and for orienting productivity; &amp hasn't earned a single dollar yet, but when it does, i'll take out an advertisement, yes.

>>17412949
Ngl, cover looks dope af

>>17426459
thx doggy. anybody with dope cover suggestions submit what you got to the email. if anybody wants or needs assets like the format or logo etc lemme know.

>>17423643

>>17426673

Why is angry anon so mad at amp anon over this?

>>17426673
>it is a kingdom and i am the king

lol. I feel bad for everyone who ever contributed to or bought this magazine. All you did was feed this toolbag's ego.

>>17426717

I can't tell if this is angry anon posting this email excerpt thinking it's a gotcha or amp anon posting this excerpt to show how crazy angry anon is. The amp response is frankly pretty restrained given the email it's responding to. Really though why not start your own publication? Oh well, drama is fun.

>>17426708
i brought him into the project with Prussianon and me so he could help us build the issue, and he kept criticizing my choices (which is fine (i genuinely appreciate criticism)). i kept telling him i understood but that i'm going to do it my way, with all due respect, and i could tell he was getting frustrated, which concluded in his email.
i was on the sailboat for the past week and a half so when i missed his frequent emails (of which there were 40 within that period) i assume he started to become impatient.

this is an example of what will happen if you submit a serial and then abandon the project:
i will assume control of your serial.
i could probably print what he gave me (i have my doubts that he would copyright his work, raise a lawyer, and litigate), but its just as well, Brook wasn't a strong writer though his series was fun.
in the end its a shame to him go because he was a prolific contributor. that being said, Brook is welcome back at any point so long as he learns to play with other kids.
>>17426717
return to reddit.com then.
there has to be some structure, some leadership, some veto. Prussianon has helped make two going on three issues now; he writes and designs and is really good, and i offered Prussia the opportunity to be Editor-in-Chief for 005.
Brook could have done the same thing if he didn't tantrum.

/sp/ here, include us in your magazine:
>https://pdfhost.io/v/okAHzuCnZ_JLINGZ_An_Biography_Of_A_Young_But_Talented_Youngster.pdf

>>17426673
>>17426717
I understand your anger. If everyone could control the Luxury Periodical line, then it wouldn't be a Luxury Periodical line.

>>17426808
uhhh, Based, anyone?
what is this? kekk i don't think i've ever been to /sp/ until now. glory.
this is poorly written but if its representative of /sp/ who am i to argue. Thanks for the submission my dude! this is probably obscure enough to warrant favor. mucho appreesho.

>>17426847
heres a simple mister.....a new one.........born today....heh.....

Boylingz....he.....got betrayed by the wheels....heh.....the hubris....stabbed in the back......jay-lo was now alone.....on himself.....atlas has shrug and no need to carry anymor.....in the beggining jayjay created Mouyes....now he was...heh....formless........empty, darkness was over the surface....of the.............of the deep......and the Spirit of Jayboy...he was...he....ponderred on his next destination.......away from wheelz.......and then he muffled....heh........he muffled......he said ''Let there be Moyes''......and there was Moyes......the new gaffa........and JJ seen that Moyes was good....manc born and bred.......he separated the manc from the wet spam.....the young youngester called the Moyes ''gaffa''........and the wheelz.....kalokagathos .......heh.....jessy the modest man he was, he didnt......indulge in vulgarity........and there was saturday....mancunian.....and there was sunday now......london team....first game for the new gaffa.......Lingzy felt bummed....heh.....not that bummed, that gay.......it wsa the day of the debut, against his vile rivals....nonetheless....Jay-L put the red shirt.......the manc shirt.......№14...kissed the missus, the badge......beautiful badge......then he tucked it......put the claret yoke/blue sleeves shirt.....came out the tunnel....the scouse menace...heh.......the rest is future

>>17426831
i would genuinely love to see him (or anybody) make a side project or spinoff. its perfect for someone like Brook i think.

>>17426882
>>17426882
Critics are calling /sp/erganon's spontaneous conribution
"Riveting,"
"Idiosyncratic,"
"Huh?"
""
Rated R for graphic simulated narration. See in store for details, some assembly required, no purchase necessary, JLINGZ: An Biography of a Young but Talented Youngster is part of this complete breakfast. Must be legal drinking age.

A young soldier was mocked for being a Desi fan. One day, one of his superiors, hoping to humiliate him in front of his squad called to him and said, 'take blue ball, get get on that table and put it's spot while blindfolded.'
The young soldier replied, 'I can't into snooker.'
Therefore, his superior said, 'ask your Desi for help. Show me that she exists.'
So the soldier took the ball, put the blindfold on and began singing 'quiet, quiet, quite quiet, Please, PLEASE...’put it on the table, placed it and positioned it perfectly. Getting back, he saw them all on their knees, crying and saying, 'we want the Desi...'
Startled, the young soldier asked what was happening. His superior, in tears, pointed at the ball and told the young soldier that the ball they gave him was pink, PINK, but opon touching the table it had turned blue. Then, the young soldier said, 'are you quiet now? I serve this Desi. The Desi that does the impossible. The Desi that places the balls.'

/sp/....a board of poets

>>17426808
Just the title alone with its errors got a kek.

>>17426930
okay well i'm sold.

>>17426802
>if you submit a serial and then abandon the project:
>i will assume control of your serial.
Based but are you a good writer?

>>17426963
i'm an awful writer so that's why anons should finish what they start.

>>17426930
not finding anything about desi on google, give me a hint. even tried in the context of Jesse Lingard

>>17427001
desi....dessie is a virgin....an angle you may say.......she's the mascot of the /147/....general on /sp/....Mary Magdalene of them.....quiet please........DESI is short of....quiet.....Desislava Bozhilova......do you understand now?

>>17426424
>to actually review it would be an exercise in masochism

Isn't it barely 100 pages? You guys took the time to write that weird obituary. Probably not any more time consuming than that. You're just being lazy and rationalizing your laziness.

> you've outed yourself as having bad taste

Taste is subjective, I never even said I liked them. Just calling you guys out on being the hypocrites you are. You're dodging all of the points I'm raising because you guys are cheap, lazy and hypocritical. I haven't even read all of Gardner's work but as far as I'm aware he's playing by the rules by buying ads. You're being unsportsmanlike by criticizing someone who isn't just blatantly resorting to shill threads. Which is more than I can saw for your "Magazine."

If you guys want to be taken seriously then be professional. Try critiquing his work (Or R.C. Waldun's work. I don't care. Any of these guys would serve the same purpose) instead of making yourselves out to be a bunch of trolls.

>>17427094
>>17427094
>>17427094
why?
this is /lit/. there are trolls.
there are unpopular opinions and retarded takes and poor sportsman ship and namecalling. for instance, you're a faggot.

you aren't listening.
i read Call of the Arcade then i wrote the obituary (in under ten minutes).
the obituary IS a review of his work.
maybe its beyond you, or maybe the magazine sucks. the truth is probably somewhere in between.
>If you guys want to be taken seriously then be professional
like who? Vice? Sam Hyde? WAP?
this is an independent publication. none of us are professionals. this is Anonymous, everything is for the lulz.
if our shitposting and worldbuilding garners any attention after having developed its #LORE, and that is valuable to a professional, our work will have spoken for itself.

>>17427094
why?
this is /lit/. there are trolls.
there are unpopular opinions and retarded takes and poor sportsman ship and namecalling.

you aren't listening.
i read Call of the Arcade then i wrote the obituary (in under ten minutes).
the obituary IS a review of his work.
maybe its beyond you, or maybe the magazine sucks. the truth is probably somewhere in between.
>If you guys want to be taken seriously then be professional
like who? Vice? Sam Hyde? WAP?
this is an independent publication. none of us are professionals. this is Anonymous, everything is for the lulz.
if our shitposting and worldbuilding garners any attention after having developed its #LORE, and that is valuable to a professional, our work will have spoken for itself.

>>17427167

I submitted to &amp and was published but I wanted to make sure anons know it comes with a price. The other anon is telling the truth. It isn't just arrogance or the editor thinking he's a king. It all started when I got the acceptance e-mail. I was so happy. I told my dad I was winning. Then I got a few other emails that were just a little off. "How's your diet? Do you eat a lot of pineapple?" That was where it all went wrong. The editor told me I could either cum on every single copy of the print edition or he would rescind my publication. It was my career at stake. I had to. So he sent them to me, and for a week straight I rubbed and rubbed. I tried to hide it at the back or in places people wouldn't see. By the end I turned it into an aesthetic game, matching the cum with the magazine design. I'm sorry to everyone who bought a print copy. That was me. It was all me. But the truth needs to get out there. This magazine is not about literature. It is about making contributors cum on things, and that is all it has ever been about.

>>17427209
just like Lit Quarterly then?

>>17427233
(cont'd)
Are you *its* official cummer too?

>>17427209
LELLL okay i kekt. good one.
also pics
>>17427233
checked. got some fucking comedians in the nosebleeds tonight.

>>17427209
Holy fuck.
Not woke, OP.
NOT WOKE.

>>17427209
This didn't happen to me and frankly I'm a little disappointed.

from another thread:

all of the content in the magazine gets dedicated to the public domain.
while it IS possible to remove something from the public domain by copyrighting it, it can be tough.

in the TOC i proclaim that we own all the material but i only do that for the sake of legality. in order to put the material in the public domain, we are obligated to have license or ownership of the material.
most anons that submit stuff own them intellectually, but have no actual copyright.

you own your story and your work.
if you ever wanted me to unpublish your work for whatever reason, i will.

or order to legally compel me to unpublish your work, you probably wouldn't even need to copyright it and litigate, so long as you could prove that it was yours before publication,

but i have no interest in dishonoring contributors. most of us want to get published for real and sell our work for money, which is tough if its already published. i'm happy to direct prospects to writers, or simply relinquish claim over a work for the sake of its creator.

because anything in &amp is now public domain, any number of other publications can print it without even asking. once that happens, it will be very hard (or impossible) for you to own that story again. but if it appears ONLY in &amp, i am more than willing to return all content to their creators.

>>17427394
This was shown to be wrong in the other thread.

>>17427403
what was said to refute it?
>>17426829
i can't seem to find where it was refuted.
post it here.

>>17427403
That was debunked.

>>17427440
post relevant info debunking it or everyone ITT will notice that you're an unsubstantiated shill.

Just sent a submission of an essay I've been working on. Let me know if it's any good! Would like to see it in the print version if it is.

>>17427486
thx doggy i'll read that shit now and email you. much appreciated.

>>17427209
I DID NOT CONSENT

>>17427563
sorry i saw the word consent and jizzed in my pants

>>17427502
>doggy
Such respect.

>>17426882
hmm this one doesn't sound the same as the others....

>>17426929
kek

bumping for submissions

>>17428982
who's this demen of semon?

is there a limit to how much i should submit?

>>17429112
no limit. somebody's chances of having more than one piece published in a single issue goes up the more diverse the content is,
so i'm less likely to put in 2 short stories, or 2 poems, or 2 essays by the same anon, but one of each is more likely.

what i do want right now tho are single page memes, one-offs, flash fiction, or shitposts; stuff that takes up a single page.
there is usually a meme and shitpost section in the first quarter of the magazine that i love, but i am lacking submissions for that.

>>17429068
some waifu of /3/'s.

>>17428982
idk they gave her a beard but cool i guess

>>17429165
>>17429165
>>17429165
>>17429165
PLEASE SUBMIT SINGLE PAGE MEMES AND SHITPOSTS, ANYTHING GOES. GO MAKE SOMETHING IN MARIO PAINT OR SOMETHING AND SUBMIT! thx

>>17429165
do you think my ad for the fictional grindcore band Cliterrorist will make it? That could be a good 1 pager.

>>17429277
lel the dubs have spoken. it shall be published.

>>17429286
tanks a lot!

>>17429277
Dude Cliterrorists early work was so fucking insane. after they signed to Relapse they began using gay audio samples and weird robot spoken word segues and shit. Still great, though.

>>17429299
checked. is that /hyperlit/ for /mu/?

>>17429299

Were the rumors about them getting banned from entering the city of Cleveland for eating live snakes on stage true or was that just a marketing gimmick?

>>17429415
No man they fucking did that shit. It pops up in Lost Media threads on /x/. What's fucked is that they had done that throughout the whole tour and it wasn't until the singer posted the video of himself doing it on stage that PETA got involved and they got banned from all of Ohio, not just Cleveland. Heroes.

>>17429434
I lost 2 different gfs dump after seeing this EP in my record collection

>>17429603
DUDE THAT'S THE RECORD. I LOST A GF BECAUSE OF THAT SHIT TOOO.
wtf a curse or something?
see if you can dig up an old review of it.
if not i'll try to find one.

>>17429610
I heard Stephen Paddock had this playing on a loop when he lit up the strip.

>>17429299
>>17429603
>>17429415
Is this just the new Anal Cunt?

>>17429650
Will will never be new Anal Cunt.

>>17429650
There will never be new Anal Cunt

>>17412864
D A R K

Some of the pieces in this are really enjoyable (I liked the one about the oil guy who tried to go back to school, the fishing scene was the best part), but the majority of this stuff has little chance of being published in a "real" journal. This is not a criticism in any way, just an observation of this magazine living it's vision and purpose. My question is, do the authors know this and just have fun with it, or do some people honestly believe they are incredibly talented writers that are just waiting for a major publishing house to notice?

what the fuck is this garbage.

>>17430176
if i had to guess its a place for people to send in their works they dont have any hope of publishing. niche pieces, strange pieces, vulgar pieces, it runs the whole gamut. they have fun with it and folks on here may find a piece they like.

>>17430176
well its hard to say. i'm sure everyone has their reason for submitting something. i started it mostly as an exercise, in writing, publishing, design, interaction, collaboration, business.
did you ever see the article in 001 called The Justice System? it gets tauted a lot. I'd say it's worthy of publication in a """"real"""" journal, along with a couple other articles.
i think i'm noticing that the good submissions seem to be getting better, but i could be wrong. hopefully, as with anything, it is supposed to get better over time.

also your opinion about the artistic value of the pieces is subjective so its tough to zoom out and get a clear picture. some anons think its the stupidest shit they've ever seen and some think its genius. its not much yet so hopefully this time next year it will clearly be one or the other.

>>17430332
yeah. also not just people,
just this community. /lit/ is savage. we turned on TLQ quick.

>>17430354

The Lit Quarterly did kind of ditch the place to become a non-/lit/ journal. It probably doesn't deserve the level of hate it gets for that, those guys are self funding and it's their journal, but it's not really of /lit/ or by /lit/ anymore. I liked reading what you lunatics were creating and a lot of the stuff they publish is just generic MFA writing now.

>>17430474
oh no question they don't represent /lit/ anymore. i guess i'm not sure they ever set out to. regardless, the editor from TLQ gave me lots of good advice.

i've never heard the term MFA writing until recently but yeah. that.

>>17430474
This. They left us behind.

>>17430533
>>17430474
Lit Quarterly was massively based for paying people in the hundreds OUT OF POCKET and they still do. I don't think people on here understand that lit mags paying people for work is a rare thing and usually only done consistently by the big mags, this guy was paying people in hundreds for ONE piece, hes lowered his prices and included non /lit/ people but from what I understood when I spoke to him is that he wants to make moves for it to be a bigger journal. Kyle actually responded consistently and gave great advice to tons and tons of people on here and people that got published in that journal can cite it as a place of being previously featured which is HUGE in the world of lit mags.

The people that turned on him are so massively autistic I cannot begin to understand them.

>>17430582
>included non /lit/ people

then we have every right to turn on him. why should we support someone who no longer represents us?

>>17430650

"Turn on him" is where you start sounding like a lunatic. I stopped reading it but that's because it changed what it was. As a reader I liked the first version, don't like what they turned it into because it's not really different from any other literary magazine now. You make it sound like it's some personal vendetta because they want to publish a different kind of magazine.

>>17430650
This community is nothing to be proud of, and why does it matter if a magazine has a specific selection of people or not? The point of a magazine is to get the best submissions in order to produce a collection of great pieces. Sure, you can have a magazine dedicated to niche and vulgar things that would not fit anywhere else but just because a magazine is not tailored to only /lit/ doesn't mean it should be crucified and hated every chance people get it makes no sense.

>>17430696
>"Turn on him" is where you start sounding like a lunatic.

it is mere hyperbole.

>You make it sound like it's some personal vendetta

oh yes, I'm stalking them with a vengeance; not simply speaking harshly.

>>17430702
then it is no longer a /lit/ magazine, no? when you use our name and then make an about-face, why expect friendliness?

>>17430582
i agree with this.

>>17430696
The first and second editions of TLQ were very kino and probably one of the best things to come out of this board other than The Legacy of Totalitarianism in a Tundra which got progressively worse and was never the same.

>>17430702
sometimes i wonder how long it will be until this project becomes unpopular with the board. not that it bothers me, just curious about the sustainability of enthusiasm.
seems simple though, just don't leave. its not like i'm not damned either way.
i do really appreciate TLQ though they were a big deal when this went down.

>>17430721
i don't know much about how Legacy was written, just that it was (apparently). i imagine the editor or whatever just camped shared docs and compiled them and organized threads and stuff?

bumperino

>>17430702
>The point of a magazine is to get the best submissions

No, that doesn't appear to be true. Not in practice, anyway.

Eh, while i normally wouldn’t think to shill my stuff here, another anon said my stuff was about the appropriate quality level to post here, so do I just post what I wish to submit in the email and that’s that? I’ll do that and if more is required Do tell.

>>17431396
i guess i'd say the "point" of &amp would be to exercise "art" in a Hegelian way: source the community for the sensuous expression or manifestation of free spirit in a medium (such as metal, stone or color) that has been deliberately shaped or worked by human beings into the expression of freedom.
we get to sensually make real the appearance of our ideas bros.
jk

ALSO
L
S
O

still looking for single page content for any anons playing fast and loose with Microsoft Paint 95™

>>17431500
>casually dropping dubs
checked, fren.
yeah smash your submission via email:
lamp.lit.magazine@gmail.com

>>17431528
Done! Hope it’s found suitable.

>>17431567
mondo! thanks!
consider making a single page meme, ad, poem, shitpost, or piece of flash fiction as well, driving hard for that now.
thanks again though, you can look forward to seeing it in 004

>>17431705
>>17431705
I’ll likely add a short poem then, my story is Particularly long so only a very short poem or a shitpost or the like would be acceptable, I’ll think of something and submit it at some point.

>>17431721
sounds good. deadline is Feb 19

>>17430176
mainstream publishing is dead internet weirdos making esoteric zines is in

whoever pushed the hegel just now,
i corrected your typo from
'coffee in a cage' to
'coffee in a cafe'.
plz let me know if you meant 'cage'.
thx

>>17431968
cafe is right

>>17431977
>>17431968
>they don't even check their shit
>want to get """published"""

>>17431977
checked. thanks broski. i'm going to fire that into the print project.
>>17431996
brook let me publish Vol 2 i can tell you put a lot of work into it.

So what is OP going to do? Put all this shit into a word document and upload to Amazon KDP?

>>17432272
>>17432272
i send it to an online printer and they print, publish, and ship it whenever its ordered.
there are several published books thru KDP on the site though. we're writing more with every /hyperlit/ thread.

>>17430696
For me the problem (towards which I share no hate) with Lit Quarterly is not that it opened up to other submissions per se; the anons here agreed they didn't want to call it /lit/ with the slashes. The problem is just generally that of literary journals: instead of it organically opening up to other submissions, it received multiple hundreds of submissions for the last issue, after being listed in a directory of literary journals. There is a vast surplus of mfa-tier writers who just want to get their writing out there, and don't really give a shit about a journal beyond that. They come across a journal for the first time, with intent to publish, from a directory, a mailing list, a google search. It's a rather impersonal quid pro quo. (Sometimes I wonder how journals in say the late 1800s used to do things. Limited to its local city; about knowing the literary circles/belonging to a 'movement'; but perhaps also less of a writing mass with pretensions to publish...) Another case of so-called democratic meritocratism leading to levelling and standardisation? Without making it a /lit/-only thing, how can one select - select for the different, that which wouldn't end up in any old literary journal? (Charging for submissions, which many journals do, is obviously not the answer: since that just cuts out all the (probably first-time) writers who wanna get it out for free, but retains the acclimatised crowd for whom such submissions are their daily routine.) ...

>>17432394
My problem with them is that they rejected me lol

>>17432394
touché.
i agree with all that i think.
i suppose the only thing that makes &amp unique in that regard is that it reflects this community. if i sourced submissions from another community it would no longer reflect the interests of this community. makes sense.
standard literary journals that aren't supported by universities seldom make money, it seems. TLQ pays its contributors but idk if they advertise, i know they don't charge a submission fee.
this project doesn't need to make money yet but when it does i'll cross that bridge.

>>17411374
I hope everyone that's part of this shit dies.

>>17432883
brook,
look you put a lot of time into your work for VOL 2 and i imagine you started VOL 3.
i don't want that stuff to go to waste. not being ironic or a dick i mean it.
i want you to finish the series. take it to 3 at least.
just because we have differences doesn't mean we can't work together.
i never stole anything of yours.
i would love to publish what you left behind, that way i don't have to finish the series myself.
it would help add to the story and there's a lot of content you made so i think we should finish what we started like professionals.

>>17411374
I'll send in my masters thesis on how race doesnt exist, should be a huge hit

>>17432942
>masters thesis
>race doesn't exist
as opposed to a slaves thesis i imagine.

>>17432942
yeah mang smash that shit into the email. thx

>>17429235
Okay here you go.

>>17433238
this is slick, culture-forward design.
stunning.
what is that the words are in, a jug? Love it.
firing it in now.

>>17433238
>this is what i had on mind
i kekt

>>17433238
BTW, the page sizes for &amp are the standard 8.5 in wide and 11 in tall, right? That's what I did for this submission.

>>17433329
correct.
feel free to go wild.
what software did you use to create that masterpiece?

>>17433329
>>17433350
you shill shit, steal shit (>>17432396) and post shit (>>/lit/thread/S17393420).). You should stop using this site (because I'm pretty sure we know why scum like you won't get banned *wink wink*)

>>17433350
I just used normal MSPaint.

>>17433392
if it fuckin broke.
really gives it that late nineties raster image feel.

>>17433392
if it ain't fuckin broke.
really gives it that late nineties raster image feel.

>>17433372
brook have you ever heard the idiom,
there's no such thing as bad publicity,
well in your case i might actually make an exception. i am over it. i am sorry for hurting your feelings. lets be frens and kiss and make up. finish the series and let me publish it, yeah?
atta boy, its settled then. thanks man.

>>17433372
Our board is overrun with threads about this shitty rag. Mods, do your fucking jobs.

>>17433541
Poison yourself.

>>17433546
Fuck off and get the fuck out. You're poisoning /lit/ with this garbage.

>>17426808
this is increcible

>>17433596
a blessing i know. god knows how he found us.

bump

>>17433596
In case the author is here, calling 911 on p.18 is something no god fearing brit would do. 999 here bro

i submidded d

>>17434690
Get fucked loser >>17432396

>>17434717
butthurt retard no one cares

>>17433541
literally one thread lol

>>17430354
>>17430474
>>17430533
>>17430582
>>17430702
>>17430716
>>17430721
>>17430735
>>17432394
>>17432581
Really appreciate the discussion here.

>>17426808
heh....good read....lots of....potential...heh

"Checkmate" and "Line in the Sand" are so freaking good, are they gonna be in 004?

>>17435676
I can put them in yeah.
I don’t always give the slush pile proper attention, I always suggest submitting to the email for anons that want to be in the print version.

But yeah I can add those in.

>>17435687
>new IP

>>17435687
There's not really anything else that good in the slushpile

do i submit to lamp.lit.magazine@gmail.com
or admin@lampbylit.com?

>>17434473
out of all that, this is your note?

>>17436024
Yeh didn't have a problem otherwise

>>17435861
Either/or.
I usually suggest gmail since most anons have gmail so it handles attachments better than the server email.

>>17420399
had a few illustrations i submitted to you a while ago, did they not make the cut after all?

>>17436543
its possible that they were lost or buried. send them again and i can let you know. thanks for your patience.

>>17436559
ahh no problem then! i'll try that, thank you for your patience as well!

>>17430176
>I liked the one about the oil guy who tried to go back to school, the fishing scene was the best part)
Thanks bro.

>>17436120
I will send nigger dicks.

okay faggots see you in 20 days

>>17437984
Too bad you had to generate a bunch of hate in order to hit bump limit