/lit/ - Literature

you're in for getting 404'd. fuck off

>>17381721
What’s your problem, mate?

>>17381727
i'm not the one shilling on a 4chan board for months on end. what's YOUR problem?

>>17381716
Fuck off, your book sucks

>>17381740
Talking about a book isn't shilling.
>>17381745
It's not my book.

>>17381801
nobody's fooled. just go away

>>17381716
I know you're in the thread dude. I'd like you to answer some questions if you don't mind
>how many copies did you sell before you started advertising?
>how many copies after?
>how many copies overall?
>did you shill anywhere else?
>do you think shilling on 4chan drew any negative attention?
I only ask because I'm writing a book (fantasy, not /lit/'s favorite) and would be willing to publish it on amazon for free (as well as a dirt cheap paperback) and am curious what your results have been.
To the other people in this thread, would you read a book you saw advertised on here? If the ads involved stupid shit like sneed and basedjaks, would that change your opinion?

>>17381953
>would you read a book you saw advertised on here
No. The devil is in the word "advertise". /lit/ might not be 100% literary but users still want discussion because that's the best usage of the available threads.

>>17381953
Op here. I guess I’d read a book I’d see advertised here. That’s what I’m about to do. Is this a common tactic writers here do? I realize that it’s frowned upon. But it’s getting me to read it so it must work.

>>17382041
I mean in ads, not threads

>>17381740

I liked it well enough.
I thought the device of using a retarded narrator to describe the events was a stroke of genius. The clumsy prose and poor dialogue is exactly what you'd expect from a mentally disabled person attempting to tell you what they believe happened.

>>17381716
Cool cover.

>>17382249
Lmao That’s not the twist but a good idea. If only you knew how close you were to the actual twist. It’s somehow much more retarded than that.

>>17381953
anon, not gardner here, but you might want to check out Keith C. Blackmore's career. he's a self-made, self-published author who appears to generate most of his revenue via kindle sales. his breakthrough book was a zombie title, mountain man, but he's written a number of fantasy books. he appears to be doing quite well for himself; for example, audible has adapted several of his books. he maintains a blog at his website that chronicles his adventures in self-publishing. you could probably pick up some helpful tips there.

with that said, it would be interesting to hear what gardner's experience with advertising on 4chan was (if indeed, those ads were actually placed by gardner, and not a trollish third party who simply linked the ads to gardner's amazon page).

>>17381953
gardner's incessant shilling has guaranteed I will never touch his work, even for free, and possibly even if he paid me. if you too would like to be despised, sure go for it.

>>17382593
You’ve been fooled. The shilling isn’t even him. Rather another anons (perhaps several) attempts to dirty his name. For that they’ve succeeded.

Lot of ungrateful fucking heebs on this board. I put hundreds of hours of work into my novels, only charge 99 cents per copy, and you guys still manage to bitch? Go the fuck back to Tel Aviv you hand rubbing subhumans. My book costs the same as a McChicken, just cough up the money and buy a copy.

>>17382667
What a surprise. People on this board are easy to trick. What better way to ruin an author's career than to convince others he's shilling to them non-stop? It seems so obvious now. Just see >>17382693 one of his many imposters post here to prove the point.

>>17382667
But why him? I never would've even heard of the guy if it wasn't for the meme.

>>17382336
hmmmm
thanks anon

>>17382817
Because he’s accomplished the one thing the Writing Generals can’t. A finished product. In short, it’s just because jealous anons from the Writing Generals don’t want to see him succeed.
Oh, and the excerpts being advertised? They’re either edited to make them seem significantly worse or from earlier drafts. I read Call of the Arcade and it doesn’t have anywhere near the level of typos I was led to believe.

>>17382969
Did he used to post here? I don't remember hearing about him until a few months ago.

>>17382985
Yeah. I remember the real Gardner from the Writing General last summer. I wonder if he’s even been here since.

>>17381716
I keep telling myself that if I ignore you, you’ll go away, but this is really getting old. I will never read your book. Ever. Give up. The only way I could imagine someone continuing to embarrass themselves like this is if they were genuinely retarded.

>>17382701
YOU JUST SHAT YOURSELF, HA-HA-HA!!!!

>>17382994
Oh, I never looked at those so that's why I don't remember him.

>>17383037
I have no idea what your post is supposed to suggest.

>>17383025
>Give up

I think it’s become painstakingly clear he won’t.

>>17383218
IT MEANS POOP (POOP) IS RUNNING DOWN YOUR LEGS (HA-HA-HA!!!!!!)

>>17383218
OH NO NO NO

THIS IS NOW A PERSY UBOMPA THREAD::::: ENDORSED BY FRANK EDWARD GARDNER ---------------- BUT SOME PEOPLE (SO NO)!!!!!!!!! --------------------- CALONATI

fuck you guys Im gonna buy it.
but I got a kobo. can I get it somewhere besides amazon?

I never read horror and supporting the community is based.

>>17383580
I think these books can be read on anything. Kindle is just Amazon’s brand. Shouldn’t mean you need a Kindle. I just read them on my computer.

>>17381716
pure kino, the highest of revelations

>>17381716
Are these all a series, what's Call of the Arcade like?

99 cents isn't that bad but I just don't feel like having to download desktop kindle and login and everything for it. I might have to because my curiosity is getting too strong.

>>17383995
Hi, F. Gardner.

>>17384010
More like f gardn'yer bitch from fuck niggaz who b tryna shoot at her. Also i get da pussi abter

>>17383954
Call of the Arcade is a great book. You should definitely buy it. The e-book is only 99 cents. It has an appealing story, characters, and narrative. And it’s very scary. Please buy it

>>17384169
And it can be read in any order! Have a bump, Gardner.

IMPOSTER ALERT!!!!!!!!!

>>17383401
Ha!

>>17383037
Fuck you

>>17381716
a horror series that can be read in any order!

>>17381716
Is it true you can read these in any order? It would be really cool if you could.

>>17381716
>What am I in for?
>Only reading this because I've heard the twist is extremely retarded.
An extremely retarded twist.

>>17384548
You can definitely read them in any order, very cool.

>Has daily threads
>Can write several books in month.
>Has practically become the /lit mascot
>Lives in Chicago but has not died

How the FUCK does he do it, bros?

>>17384624
He doesn't live in the city, he lives in a western suburb.

>>17381716
don't know anon. I've never seen this book but it sure looks very faggy and jewish

>>17384519
Fucking kek.

>>17383580
This. Fuck all the haters. You guys are no better than /v. You hate everything and you don’t even read.

>>17382693
Your constant shilling and spamming has made me never want to read it ever. I don’t financially support people who do that, even for a buck.

>>17385671
Look at the post you’re responding to. No intelligent person would believe that to be the actual author.

>>17382693
You forgot to mention the best part: the novels can be read, in any order!

>>17385671
You're failing to realize you can read them in any order....

>>17381716
There are multiple spelling and grammar errors on the first page alone. How does someone get so delusional that they think they can write a book, let alone publish one, when they haven't mastered basic English?

It's funny that you can tell it's the author shilling solely because no one wants to talk about this book in general, ever.

>>17382090
Faulkner famously advised writers to read everything they can, regardless of quality. Understanding what makes something good is impossible if you can't simultaneously build a conception of what makes something bad.

>>17381716
A bad book written by a barely literate shitposter. Advertising works.

>Book bad because of typos!

Ok I get it. But what do you guys think of the story? Not OP but you guys are making me genuinely curious.

>>17387569
>Advertising works
I don't believe for a second that anyone has posted about this book besides its "author" pretending to be other people. Just like I don't believe that there are any positive reviews of it besides shell accounts or people he's bribed.

>>17387569
Advertising works when you're selling funko pops to Facebook coomsoomers. 4chan is not an ad-friendly audience

>>17387684
it can be if you know how to adjust to the demographic. memes are the way to advertise to 4channers

>>17387684
So you think the constant threads about these shitty books are a coincidence? Pictures of a fit guy in a Guy Fawkes mask with the word "sneed" under it is exactly the kind of thing that will work on people here.

>>17387626
I think you underestimate both how stupid the average /lit/ poster is and how eager they are to signal that they are part of the group.

What did everyone think of my book?

>>17387725
>how eager they are to signal that they are part of the group
/lit/ hates shills, the only group you'd signal that you were a part of by posting about these books is the mongoloid demographic.

>>17387755
/lit/ loves shills that they can identify with

Gardner here.
Read my book. There's no niggers in it. Catgirls tho

>>17387797
>/lit/ loves shills that they can identify with
Go be retarded somewhere else.

>>17387810
I'm right though

Who Crocodile call?

>>17384624
One has an existential crisis and tried to delete his digital footprint when he discovered 4chan knew him

The other is shilling his stuff on 4chan

There’s a reason why one is enjoyed by the community here and the other is the product of a VPN campaign

where can i find an epub or pdf of this guy's books

>>17387916
kek

>>17381716
man that is the funniest cover i've seen in a long time....hahahahaha...
that crocodile looks so helplessly retarded

what race is this?

Guys i jusr read the whole thing

>>17389410
EURASIAN SEMITIC NEGROID

>>17389608
EASY!

>>17389451
What did you think?

Anyone else notice that "Gardner" is an anagram of "Dr. Anger" the antagonist of Call of the Arcade?
Is there a deeper meaning to this or is it a coincidence? People say the books can be read in any order, but can the words themselves also be read in any order?

>>17389783
>Anyone else notice that "Gardner" is an anagram of "Dr. Anger" the antagonist of Call of the Arcade?

The plot thickens. I wonder if there are any other coded messages?

can someone just give me a summary
kinda intrigued but don't want to sit through it

>>17389800
Oh boy. Explaining crocodile’s plot would be like telling the entire book. It’s a lot more complicated than I had any idea it would be.

>>17389799
Hi, F. Gardner.

>>17389783
>>17389799

There is no such character. I have actually read the book unlike you plebs.

>>17381721
this post didn't age well

>>17389984
That's Dr. Anger to you.

>>17390259
>I have actually read the book unlike you plebs.

Is it true that at one a point, a crocodile sits on a chair, like a man??

>>17381716
A resounding critique of capitalism and Christianity that is unmatched in the 21st ce

>>17382693
I loved Call of the Coon

>>17390355

Yea. It gets really trippy.

>>17381721
>you're in for getting 404'd. fuck off

>>17381953
I think you need a catchy meme like
(pbuh)
retroactively
read in any order

>>17390355
That's far from the weirdest part of the book.

>>17387624
Everyone who reads them seems to say they’re good. They have good surprises is the general consensus.

Guys, is it true that you can read these books in any order?

>>17391604
Yes, you can read them in any order. I personally started with Call of the Crocodile, because it’s the one I heard about the most, but you can start with any of them. If you go to amazon you can get them for 99 cents a piece, which is really worth it in my opinion.

>>17387358
He has more more copies than you ever will. Success is measured in numbers. Anything else is a cope. If you can do better please do. The world of literature will thank you.

>>17391644
>more
sold

>>17390355
The chair transforms into f gardner himself and he rapes the crocodile up the cloaca. The croc has babies and shits on his dick. It only goes downhill from there. Not only does gardner break the fourth wall, he breaks the crocs cloaca walls (and your girlfriend's uterus walls)

>>17382090
This comes off completely disingenuous, and suspicious.