/lit/ - Literature

>>17356961
This place reeks of shit post and intellectual vomit.

Father caught me in the maid again.

>>17356961
In a few minutes I am going to tear my teeth into a roasted chicken breast and feel its carnal juices roll down my mouth. This chicken is the world, and it is also body. With every retraction of my jaws I will affirm this world, and partake in its bodily pleasures which surround us by the millions. There is more power felt in a good meal than even the slightest bit of theory.

Had some good laughs today, don't forget that, anons.

I feel sad and stressed. This year is going to be a huge grind for me financially. I'm going to be down over $10,000 because of my brother. Trying to think of things I can do this year to keep my chin up and feel like I'm still progressing. Trying to get /fitlit/ is the answer I guess. Anyone have any suggestions?

>>17357124
>$10,000 because of my brother
I don't mean to be nosy, but you can't just drop a line like that and move on. What on earth happened?

>>17356961
How do I stop daydreaming. I remember telling myself at my 12th birthday to stop daydreaming. Well...I DIDN’T listen. I find it extremely difficult to not use my imagination for vain purposes and not fall into some daydream spree that lasts over an hour. I’ve wasted the majority of my life in my fantasies. I am disconnected from reality

>>17357262
Learn to meditate

I'm a brainlet and a massive coward, so I put all my money into my vanguard account. I make shit money anyway so if I blew it by being an idiot and investing in something stupid I'd probably jump off a bridge.

>>17357032
Based and carnivorepilled

>>17357187
I tried to live with him to save money and he started abusing me. It was getting worse so I had to leave. Now I have to pay rent to two places because he refuses to get a new roommate and I have no legal options because I signed the rental agreement. My choice so I have to deal with it but it's rough.

>>17357276
You are already doing well enough investing in it. If you really want to set a YOLO percent of your yearly income that you do crazy shit with and if you are really good with that amount then take it out and try it with more money. Simple as. If you cant do it well with a small amount you will not do well with a large amount.

I wish suffering on others not because there is some vindictive motivation, but simply I desire a larger audience and think tank.

You'll come to find that the bulk of the problem with domesticated(neurotypical)humans is that they have not garnered enough trauma to be interesting. Seriously. The problem with the last man is his obsession with comfort. I only want you to suffer because we fundamentally will not be on the same page. Mental illness like drug use is simply a plurality or area of existence, specific symptoms and specific dosages produce archetypal *realities* of which must be mapped and understood from an undisturbed pov. Once you find out that the entirety of reality is one object with a uniform nature, you'll understand that states of consciousness that are varying, are really just extant areas of reality or experience. There is no illogical "realm" where the mentally ill exist, there is only an inaccessible model of experience. Mental illness is not some divine or otherworldly phenomena, they develop from some ordering or chronology of events. Literally. Mental illness results of chronic "alternative" experiences. There is even much debate about the extent and metric in which we deem something as a psychopathology. Those with severe mental illness genuinely are "seeing" something you are not, and these visions and experiences are unbelievably real. There is simply no way for me to communicate the innards and intricacies of my thinking without you having at least a similar model. Its impossible. You could never really meaningfully persuade any sedentary or domestic entity that believes its comfort is indefmite. I anticipate the future traumas and miseries that all of you will have, because it will do two things;


1.) It will remove the artificial shame and responsibility that is put on me, in that you will be forced to empathize with me whether you like it or not.

2.) It would actually provide compelling conversation. Not a single person who lived in comfort, or who lived with little struggles, ever had a desirable or noble character. Some of the best philosophy, art, some of the best pieces of culture and humanity of all time, have been the sole victories of the emotionally and psychologically deranged. I genuinely have no way to see the mentally ill as anything other than pioneer's in experience and life itself. It is really just an area of the world that most people have not treaded. Tbats all it is. In terms of the history of the arts and almost all aesthetic development, not a single classic was produced in comfort.
I think even too that the evolutionary view reflects this.

Soul rot. And nothing rots the soul more than the belief that it doesn't exist. As that gives you permission to treat someone as material to be used.

>>17356961
our galaxy is an infinite piece of detail on a universal mandelbrot set

>>17357477
For example, clinical trials of serotonergic hallucinogens(think LSD) is thought of as a means to understand psychosis acutely.

Its hypothesized that states of mind that are related may help us subjectively understand schizophrenia and then to treat it. I see mental illnesses principally as an adaptation. I have talked about this pretty routinely, but the instances of something like sociopathy and psychopathy is totally a result of urban organization and sedentism.

In the sense that we know statistically that ceo's, police officers, really any position of power is overwhelmingly anti-social.

Psychopathology is an emergent adaptation. Its to cope with a maladaptive environment. Think about it like this;
If you've got enough food reserves so that social altruism is no longer evolutionary beneficial, natural selection has no reason to incentivize its development. Sure this may commit to a teleological view but even still, this idea of mental illness as adaptation is not academically rejected. For example, the observable phenomena of "learned helplessness", and anhedonia are compositional behaviors/states of affairs in major depression. Much of mental illness clearly deals with domestication in humans. At least its quantitative representation.

Looking at history and the selection pressures that would befall us, I can only see mental illness emerging as a norm, not as a dysgenic state. Especially for the hyper-intelligent,(which I will add, is clinically associated with psychopathology).

Seriously, like, this is absolutely the bulk of "industrial society and its future" and technological slavery.

Mental illnees is nature's means of urgently and immediately dealing with some severe environmental pressure. For us, there are a ton of pressures that contribute to it. Really the entirety of your life has been spent inside a metaphorical zoo where we can do nothing but think and theorize. We have no natural predators or selection pressures other than ourselves. The rest of our lives will be spent realizing and compiling the entirety of the human form and journey. I have no idea, what species could at itself in the third perspective and not go mad.

Civilization, the cumulative pool of human knowledge, all of it inevitably would result in mental illness and conceptual damage.

Its like, once you stop focusing on the "external" antagonisms you find in nature, said intrinsic antagonisms relegate themselves to the mental and the conceptual.

>>17357276
if you want to spice it up but keep the diversification of indexes check out the fpx etf, it tracks ipos of the last 4 years. then when u won't get fomo when some ipo goes sky high cuz you'll have some exposure to it

>>17357565
I have no ability to understand the neurotypical because I do not know what it means to exist for a moment without thought. I have no idea how to live, without inherent nervousness and a compulsion to solve or allievate some problem. Even if my environment has none embedded. I really am just not domesticated enough to be calm, I have not degenerated to the degree that I believe none of this is worth being concerned about.

For you to sit there in your comfort that is really, not so comfortable after all, and to assert that there is some fundamental poverty in my character and in my assessment, is adorable.

Having the modernized "neurotypical" gatekeep what is truth, knowledge, or health, is a betrayal of our shamanic roots as a species. The reason that your $300 therapy sessions aren't going anywhere is because wellness inherently requires some sort of philosophical or conceptual adeptness, and all they are doing is giving you means to be functional within liberal capitalism. They permit you to garner capital, not to get an actual idea of whats happening here. In fact I remember speaking to the first psychiatrist ever all about the nature of schizophrenia.

The paper we discussed was "Did Schizophrenia exist before the 16th century?", the only reason he brought it up was because I appealed to Ted.K and the general idea of the EEA, or "The environment of evolutionary adaptedness." Essentially, I have no other way to consider the "deranged".

To prevent them from any purchases in epistemology is only making the issue worse.

In the sense that, if we just pathologize every single queer thought or every seemingly bizarre take, we will never be able to treat or understand emotional illness.

Part of even treating it through psychotherapy is with the idea that what they are reporting is conceptually and abstractly painful. Psychology and general psychotherapy is so unbelievably impoverished and undeveloped as we speak.

I do genuinely believe that we will come to understand a lot of our problems, not through science alone but its pairing with metaphysics. In the sense that, things such as stoicism, elements of buddhism, etc, are all being employed contemporarily in psychotherapy. I think that its the same way that psychology fundamentally has always been "trans-empirical" in the sense that Freud and Jung and so on, have always been more than just a bland verificationalist. Seriously, the only true way out of whatever depression, psychoses, etc, is not solely with medicines and conventional practices, but with holistic living. Holistic living intrinsically requires philosophy, spirituality, and other contemplative activities.

If you read all of this and you just have no ability to relate, understand or see the reasoning behind this rant, you may be apart of the issue. A painfully and pridefully narrow view that will justify your apathy and unoriginality. “

>>17357032
You embody the Will as the Thing in Itself bro

>my best Online friend blocked me from all chats we had together for no reason

>my legs hurt and I can't sleep

>literally eating the same shit food every day

>brainfog and feeling dizzy at times

>on the brink of death in every dream I remember as of late

Living the life. I don't even feel bad. I got used to this. It still is draining though.

Hey. If anyone here can answer. What is it like to live a "normal" life? Like what I expect majority of people do.

cock nigger tits dick

>>17357477
You are right, anon. The problem of this board are anons themselves.

>>17356961
Capitalism

>>17357709
"Living the life" even if you're being ironic I admire your level contentment. And as draining as you feel your life may be, I think whatever sort of life you think normal is, it has to be infinitely more draining. Everyone on some level recognizes the immense sacrifice that comes with living in the world today: to be pitted against each other in ruthless competition for things no one even likes.
Being normal, I guess, amounts to hiding the awareness that at some point you gave up an authentic life for whatever this horseshit is.

I hate butterfly >:(

>>17357795
join us :^)

>>17357477
holy shit based and foucault-pilled

Welcome to the universe!
It is a universe with physics for particles traveling in space.
If you think about it, in general there are only 3 potential types of universes such as these, that can actually build complex structures.

The simplest idea of a particle(a sphere with mass) falls apart at the chemical order, as the electrons fall into the nucleus.

In our universe this is solved through what we call quantum mechanics, or that the particle also exhibits wave-like properties.

There are only two other options, that are both a modification of the classical particle system.
If they were guided by either a non-local or local information field.
The non-local information field was discovered by David Bohm, and he calls it the implicate order. The local information field was discovered by Rupert Sheldrake, and he calls them Morphic Fields.
Consider the Implicate Order as a pilot wave spread throughout all of space-time that is guiding the particle to its location through gather information about its environment. Within each wave is contained information about the whole universe.

Alternatively, there are morphic fields, which should be considered subtle energy fields, which are empowered by the matter they encase while influencing them with that reflected power.


You can imagine countless universes with different laws and parameters, but they all fall under 3 major categories.

>>17357681
I see the end quote. If so, where is this quoted from? If not, I sympathize OP—though I’ve lived all my life in comfort so I will never be a shaman unless I cast myself on some raft in the middle of the ocean for some months

My coworkers have a far better image of me than I think is accurate. I'm being put up for early promotion for the second time in a row, over people with much more experience than me.
I don't get it. I'm an autistic sperg with an IQ in the 90s. I feel like an overgrown 14 year old in an older body, not someone you could trust with high-value sensitive items or responsibility over other people or important duties. Maybe I'm overthinking it but maybe I just got really lucky and had the right circumstances fall into my lap.
Is this feeling normal? Am I just being hard on myself for no reason?

>>17357793
Its difficult for me not to be content. My life in large stroke literally was dealing with being hit by bad luck. I might be overselling it because It honestly could have been way worse, but I had chest pains, feeling like I might throw up or shit my pants when locked in a place, dizziness, etc since I think I was 10. Sometimes it get worse, sometimes better. You can add two plus two to see how what I mentioned impacted my social life.

If you want my advice to be content with such things, think about if what you feel you are lacking really would give you what you want. It might just be a my thing but it actually gives me more willpower than most people have, or so I think.

For instance, if you want to lose weight ask yourself every time you walk up to the fridge of eating something extra is really worth it. If not picking health and long term well being isn't preferable to just a short dopamine rush. Results do pile up in time.

>to be pitted against each other in ruthless competition for things no one even likes.
Hey man. I always expect the worse but maybe we can build a better life. Not for one person but for us all. I hate to spit sci-fi bullshit but the technology to allow us to live our lives freely and spend it the way we want and find valueble exists today or will in the very near future. The social structure doesn't. Obviously I realize how utopian such dreams are and they don't have a simple solutions to be realized. Usually such dreams are used to fool people into committing atrocities. But hoping that one day somehow by a miracle, and make no mistake, only man-made miracles exist, it could happen gives me a little bit of hope too. I just wish that by the time I will be 60 I can be proud of the state of the world. I don't expect it, but I hope.

Is reddit literally retarded? Hold on I'm not trying to fit in here. I've been here since 2010 and never been to reddit till 2021. I went there because of the no fap community. That's the most delusional self help bubble I've seen so far. I mean there are some benefits to avoid masturbation, even monks do it. But the way redditors write, the way they see the world, the way they pat the in the back, the way they delude themselves it's unbearable. I don't know if I'm biased by the aggressive tone of this place. It just doesn't seem real over there. Everybody seems to try to fit in probably to get more up votes and what not. It feels fake.

>>17357955
People unironically farm fake internet points (probably hoping to sell those accounts later), anon. They keep deleting and posting the same threads (probably with bots, but still). It is users who have to deal with all this bs. 4chan reeks of vomits but reddit is way more rotten than that.

A friend is telling me shit about how a relation went to shit and about how he feels about this particular situation. I honestly don't know what to say in chat, I've never been in one relationship.
I care about this lad, but I have nothing to say.
That's what's terrible about being a virgin nerd, I seriously don't event think about women at this point, but I wish I could relate to my few friends. I feel nothing

>>17357975
Normally people just feel like venting, anon.

>>17357952
My hats off to ya, bro. I like what you said about man-made miracles, and I guess our best bet is to hold out on one while also not letting ourselves get deluded into making it happen too soon. I appreciate the advice: its simple and I can see how its effective because of that. You seem like you got a good head on your shoulders and I anticipate things will work out for you personally and for all of us collectively. Cheers

>>17357955
To post on reddit or 4chan is to be in the poorhouse and to be sullied by the willfully ignorant regardless. If you think 4chan's users are any smarter you're deluding yourself. 4chan's design does give it some benefits though. The key advantages that 4chan has are: it's funnier because it is not infested with PC prudes and much humor contains an element of offensiveness. Secondly, there are no means to reinforce collective bias in the same way as upvotes do. Finally, with the rare exception of namefagging, posts are not traced to a single individual persona, which means what is said must speak for itself and community reputation doesn't matter.

>>17357996
Thanks man. You seem like a really chill guy. Even made me smile. I am going to nap now. Have a great day or evening and I wish you all the best. Cheers

My friends let me into our Discord again after the old one was closed down and I could plainly see their meta channel were people said that I was annoying and that some of them were against me coming back. A few years before that my other friends split up as highschool ended, they stayed together and I flew out. I don't think I ever was accepted and respected in my life, only tolerated like a dog.

How the fuck do I stop jerking off so my dopamine goes back to normal and I’m happy again

>>17358148
dont touch ur pp

>>17358137
Some of them like you; others don't. It is hard to please everyone, anon. I wouldn't bother, better be yourself and whatever, than be some amorphous mold of person that will reshape itself into whatever you think someone else wants out of you.

I'm basically a bad person. I don't stand up for the lefts causes. I don't want the shot. I'm lax about precautions and regularly disobey them. I'm scatterbrained and don't have useful input. I'm not a good worker. I'm not a good thinker. I get angry easily. I'm alone on a Friday night. I'm single and (age). I'm weird, awkward. Undesirable, more or less. Planning to make some money and retire to the woods and claim my spot and eat and shit as comfortably as I can at the expense of the world, not helping others. Ho hum, I guess. I am human. I wonder, "How would I judge another that lives like me?" And then I think that I would understand their position and that I wouldn't judge them harshly. But, how would others judge me? Poorly, I would imagine. I am a poor team player. People judge others based on their value to them. In certain common relations, at least. In very few is the situation otherwise - true friends and family. You want other people to be chill, productive, competent, altruistic, intelligent, not wasteful, empathetic, etc. I think. I'd imagine a society of people with those attributes would be good. I don't know. I'm a bad, shitty person, I guess. I'm mostly just trying to be quiet about it. I'll be my shitty, maximally comfortable self as quietly as I can tolerate.

I've been only reading greek literature since just after the pandemic began.

>>17358162
Easier said than done.
I guess I’ve lived my whole life getting whatever I wanted as soon as I wanted it, so now I’m ill-equipped to controlling my urge for instant gratification.
What makes this worse than a normal addiction is that I literally can’t get away from it. A drunk could take a detour on the way home from work to avoid going by the liquor store, but my cock is always a foot away from my arm.

>>17357648
that sounded interesting, and i checked it out because i'm pretty novice myself, but it seems the fpx correlates at 0.91 with spy. if he is in standard sorts of index funds, wouldn't this perform about as well? i feel they all track one another fairly closely. just wondering.

>>17358187
Literally block porn sites, anon. Don't browse the internet in any place you would browse porn. And if you are that fucked up, just 'downgrade' your porn, you should watch only porn of people by themselves, no sex or anything.

There are many paths to the truth.
2+2 is 4 and 1+3 is also 4.
Some paths take you toward the truth, others away from it.
The truth can be expressed and manifested in different ways.
4 is real, universal, objective, but it can be expressed in different ways. It can be expressed as 3+1, as 2+2 or even as 8/2. Why can’t this same logic apply to morality or even to truth/beauty itself? It is objective, yet it is expressed differently by different people

>>17358205
I’ve been doing the latter as of recent, at least. I’ve thought about just fapping without porn, but when I do that I don’t feel satisfied and my urge stays with me until I go back

>>17358223
>4 is real, universal, objective
At least between a fourth and a third of all mathemaricians would disagree with you.

>>17358223
i appreciate that you're working on it, but you've got a way to go, friend.

>>17358200
well that's the problem with indexing, you can't really outperform the market that significantly, but you can't underperform it by much either. that's why i recommended it because it's not really going to diverge, but at least lets him get some exposure to hyped hot ipos. If you look at the top holdings of spy and fpx they are totally different, no overlap. consider some stock like aapl, it's in dia, qqq, and spy, so if you have those you have a ton of aapl exposure, fpx lets you get hot tech shit that isn't already in those other indexes, not saying it's some hot tip that's going to make you rich, but if you're a risk averse index guy who gets fomo over hyped ipos, that is a way to get in the action without drastically changing your strategy

>>17358223
your compiler would optimize all those expressions down to 4 before the code even ran dude

Why do I recall that the r/books subreddit once had a thing going where there was one book picked every month and then it would be discussed either by the end of the month or chapterwise? Does this format no longer exist?

>>17358316
You should ask them. If you mean "does this format exists here", some people try it but it always fails because no one does the reading.

Can only read for a few hours after work (software) before my thoughts decohere. Don’t watch television, don’t use social media, don’t have friends. Can’t spend more than an hour here without feeling my brain turn to mush.
What do anons use to fill their idle hours?

>>17358338
I think they make a poll to choose those books, anon. That is why it works better, and there are more people.

>>17358344
/lit/ turning my brain to mush never stopped me from shitposting the hours away

My current therapist is convinced that I was misdiagnosed with ASD

Kinda having existential crisis

>>17358344
Ruminate on fears and regrets.

>>17358364
I always found the binary between autist and non-autist kinda weird. Like, I am convinced that I am at the entrance of the autism spectrum but not sufficiently for it to be worthwile to be diagnosed or to tell people I am autistic. Also, is it normal to be able to tell who is a full on autist only by looking at their facial features? To this day, I have never made a wrong guess.

>>17358370
Not healthy or productive but I do it a fair bit too.
Usually if I write for ~2 hours on my fears and regrets they go away for a while. Sometimes I choose not to write for weeks because once the fears and regrets are gone the extra space left over in my head is disconcerting.

>>17358231
>>17358242
>>17358287
Do you guys mind explaining your objections to my post?

>>17358344
Workout, meditate, cook, go for a walk, strum guitar, search for new hobbies (I am determined to build a small log cabin this summer in the sticks), gardening if you’re in a climate that allows it

>>17358432
I'm >>17358231. I get what you mean, but your proof (or exemple) is far too weak. It is highly debated wether numbers are real at all. However, I applaud you trying to use mathematical logic in relation to the other Forms.

>>17356961
I fell sick.

my semen tastes salty

>>17358354
I just found the subreddit r/bookclub. Maybe I just mixed those up?

>>17358437
I hope you’re able to go through with your cabin project this summer, anon. What land will you be building on? I was thinking of doing the same thing actually with the intention of making it a dry run for building a proper homestead some time down the line. However I would need to buy the land and even 10 acres within a few hours radius of my area is too expensive for me to justify.

>>17358485
Yes, I tried to participate on that one, but I read to fast and ended not discussing the book, because I was scared of giving spoilers. People need to get used to such things too, and find other books to read.

>>17358431
It was supposed to be a bit glib, but there's truth to it as well. I was fine with my shut-in tendencies until the world actually shut down. Then I started feeling like a failure who'd never get over my fears of traveling and doing things, despite it literally being a nonoption for the first time in forever.

Weird to see how the mind is so full of shit but not be strong enough to distance oneself from the emotional response to it.

>>17357477
>>17357565
>>17357681
Nice posts. I can't help but think that this is quoted, or at least definitely cribbed, from Teddy, with the references to him inserted to throw off the casual reader or as a schizophrenic self-quote possibly. Say more, or confirm the source

Just put on Lord of the Rings and I'm having this very strange nostalgia for when these movies came out and I was a kid. 2001 was 20 years ago. God I'm getting old. There's such comfort in it. Like, I feel so alone these days. All my friends stopped talking to me. The pandemic really got me down, but look, there's Gandalf. The cute lil' old man.

There is beauty and truth in being the heretic.

>>17358521
I tend to interpret most comments on this site as being grounded in truth for the author even if they’re glib or sarcastic or hostile.
What sort of things are you looking to find by traveling—mainly getting over the fears you’ve constructed around it? I’ve traveled to most first world countries I care to visit and enough third world shitholes to know I don’t need to visit any more. I don’t really understand the craze around traveling, I think a lot of people have a false and romanticized notion of it and don’t realize how globalized the developed world is and how destitute the rest is.

>>17357681
I can relate to a lot of this and the biggest paradigm shift I've had was by taking up a regular meditation practice. This isn't a just lift bro comment but I'm curious if you've ever undergone ACT or MCT therapy?

>>17358535
Every single person in the world is destined to disappoint you. No one will shape you as much as your father did, and no one will love you as much as your mother did. Adulthood is desolate and you cannot arrest the years. Embrace art.

>>17358595
Thanks anon. Very true post.

>>17358581
Well you interpreted correctly and your first guess is spot on: it's basically that I've constructed this worldview where I'm damaged and weird because of my fear of flying. And though I would love to travel, its importance has soared since it's proof of my inferiority.

It's just basic grass is greener bullshit where the next hit of experience will surely fulfill me.

Every time I try to half-ass a solution to a problem it goes horribly wrong. I just want to be lazy and nonchalant

After a month lull the fire is finally back. It's rare for me to be unmotivated for so long. I think i'm going to ice /lit/ for a few months and buckle down. Adieu.

>>17358675
Kveðjum, Satsuki Kiryuin anon

>>17358691
Bufly marry me pls

>>17358703
Ég get ekki, lítli

>>17358736
:(

>>17358505
When I say people, it was meant to be me. KEK

>>17356961
I've been skimming visual novels lately, and I am shocked at the number and quality of these things. There's so many of them, and for most of them the art is really good and the story is engaging.

I often wonder about this. Why do people pour time and effort into these things when they are so small, when the chances of making it big are so small? It's not for money, these things are free. And in general I guess, in a world where oceans of content are already available, why do people add their own? It's not impossible that in the future an AI might exist that generates an infinite of art or writing, tailored to your desires. Will people still create art then? If so, why?

The consciousness in fact does not desire an element of socialization in todays popular demand for social media and all forms of internet communication and interaction.

What is it, that people truly desire -

Is it really socialization? A "connection to the world"?

No. what the consciousness desires is in fact far more profound than that -

The consciousness desires the purest, basic, confirmation of activity, that it is "happening", that "this is real!", that the mechanisms of the universe and reality are true, to confirm the validity of reality according to claims made, to check and ensure the quality of various input-output systems, to ensure that "God isn't lying" - the universe is as promised, in the essence of being, existence, reality, and the universe: that "it" is true.

And if its not, then its not true, reality.

I've been getting into religion again. I feel my life is getting warmer and lighter. The weight of universe is not on my shoulders anymore. Feels good man.

>>17358807
I mean, we're on a board for an arguably dead (or dying) art form where a group of autistic people with little relevant life experience hope that publishing isn't a popularity contest (which it is) and by sheer virtue of talent, and not luck, the overworked literary assistant will pick out their cheeto-stained MS that's both derivative and completely out of touch with reality where all life experience is likened to either video game references the avg person doesn't understand or just stilted, overwrought prose that attempts to signal how smart the author is at the expense of immersion, moral or storytelling - so like, i'm surprised you can't stretch your imagination to the visual novel landscape as far as deluded dreams go.

>>17358807
Do you think cavemen painted on walls to “get big”?

So has no one figured out how to acquire power? I was reading something a while back about the game. The power game. The game we all play. But never talk about. And they said or rather explained the different types of power games in speech, the different types of people. Think there were 4. Anyway. Why is it so uncommon for people to admit that they don’t want to save the world or save the trees or becoming the best artist or swimmer because they love it. It’s because they want power. And this is there root. Even acquiring power in a relationship. The type of conversation a powerful person has and doesn’t have is not talked about. I wonder if this is lost or you folks.

>>17358845
Projection. Nearly everything you said. You did in you’re post. It’s almost disgusting. You are completely oblivious to your own self destruction. Good luck.

I feel like shit. I feel alien. Yet I feel so domesticated. I don't feel apt for working, for relationships, for anything really. I've had to deal with suicidal thoughts all my life and I feel closer to actually kms by the minute. Most of the day I'm ok. I just feel nothing and I'm wired to my phone or doing some other activity (reading, exercise, etc). I live with 2 older sisters (8-10 years so it's a considerable gap) and the oppresiveness, the lack of privacy, the mental limits they are unaware of imposing in me is so suffocating. This corona lockdown shit doesn't help either.
I started having very little contact with my mother since I was 17 (I'm now 25), I saw her a couple of times a year, I feel like she doesn't know anything about me, she cares obviously but she's too out of touch and her expectations are just as oppressive to me as my sisters'. I have a will to live alone, but how long can I endure like this, I don't have the tools, I don't trust people, I don't have discipline, I can't keep friends, whenever I say something I refute it in my head immediately. My range of emotions is tilted to melancholy and apathy, or an abstract empathy, an empathy for characters in a novel or a movie.
I have that eternal buzz that you get when you don't do anything. I'm so fucking lazy, but even at being lazy I fail since I do it with bad conscience. I only care about adding beauty, or complexity to my outlook of the world, I enjoy when new ideas click in me, when I experience good art. But I can't touch the real thing.

Worse of all is that I brought these upon myself. I've built the jail I'm trapped in. I deluded myself into thinking that out of this situation the best art could arise. That it was needed for me to experience the worst separateness to produce, to give birth.

I won't even care about this tomorrow. At least I have that one ability to ignore things, to keep quiet even to myself.

>>17358807
I think the capacity to create meaningful art is still a continent's-throw away from AI, as the best art implements a form of intellectual surprise that I consider akin to that investor's phrase, "useful novelty." E.g., how many novel ways can you use a key other than for its intended purpose (or known purposes such as cutting tape)? Of those, how many are useful? Machines are not very good at coming up with useful novelty, such as: "use it as a spacer for a wobbly table." I find that good literature, let alone great, does this particularly well. It is recognizable as literature but deformed, or perhaps contorted, and the contortion serves to illuminate a previously unseen aspect of existence and consciousness. Every good piece of literature is novel, it does something one hadn't thought possible, while remaining grounded to the realities of tradition and human experience.

>>17358881
>they don’t want to save the world or save the trees or becoming the best artist or swimmer because they love it
I want to save the world so it's not a disastrous shit hole when I reincarnate here again.

>>17357477
>>17357565
>>17357681
You 100% need to read about Kazimierz Dąbrowski and positive disintegration
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_disintegration

>>17358892
But I was the overworked literary assistant?

>>17358892
Not that anon, but what are you talking about

>>17357892
Diary

>>17358921
A lie you tell yourself. Your not even sure you will reincarnate. You believe because you want to believe but your not sure like your sure of gravity. Or like your sure the sky is blue.

You’re ultimate goal is either power & control.

>>17358807
What vns are you talking about

>>17358956
>>17358938
>derivative and completely out of touch with reality
>stilted, overwrought prose that attempts to signal how smart the author is at the expense of immersion, moral or storytelling

>>17358994
>you’re ultimate goal
>like your sure
Monke

>>17359012
https://itch.io/games/free/genre-visual-novel
To be blunt, I found this site while hunting for NSFW material, but I found lots of good VNs of both the SFW and NSFW varieties.

>>17359017
How am I projecting though? It's a joking rant about the board - Im not a writer.

>>17358828
Good for you anon, I feel the same. Have you tried praying? I like to pray for other people who need help or are having a rough time, not pray for things I want. I also pray just to be thankful for nice things. Sometimes I pray just to say thanks for nature after a beautiful day. Sounds weird but I don't feel alone when I do it.

>>17359030
>https://itch.io/games/free/genre-visual-novel
i just randomly clicked one of those and it's two gay guys in a movie theater watching a gay cowboy movie, what the hell is this shit, are they all this gay

>>17359062
Okay yeah, there's a TON of gay ones but there's a lot of straight romances and plenty of no romance ones too

Ya know, between the fat titty grab, the ass-shots, the one "fuck," the numerous beatings, the murder of Jesse, and Vince bleeding off the side of a truck, I'm really surprised they reined in this movie to PG-13. I wonder if it could've been better if they went gritty and hard for the R.

>>17359079
what is that some in-the-hood movie from the 2000s?

>>17359085
The Fast and the Furious. The original was pretty good, it was a police drama with cars, as opposed to the sequels which devolved into life-sized Hot Wheels.

>>17359062
>>17359074
That said, if you know any sites where one can get free VNs (no not Steam), I'm all ears

>>17359079
whag movie

>>17359107
>>17359100

>>17359100
the first three are the best. real classics. As early as the fourth it loses all of its charm. I mean that stupid shit they do where they speed up cars driving at slow speeds instead of hiring professional drivers to drive them quickly really bothers me. In the first three they actually had real professionals doing the cool shit.

>>17359101
so a visual novel is basically just like a video game but with no gameplay just story? makes sense actually since so many jrpgs have dialogs that go on for 10-20 minutes before you even do anything, might as well just dispense with the gameplay and get right into the story for ppl who into that kind of thing. i remember trying to play ff8 and there was some dialog interlude that went on for more than 20 minutes and i'm like bruh that was long as an episode the simpsons with the ads removed

>>17359120
>like a video game but with no gameplay just story?
Pretty much. Like that or like a interactive comic book.

early tonight there was a car stopped at the intersection outside, and there were some girls blasting the smiths and singing along with it, it just sort of disturbed me, like "nooo u can't enjoy morrissey he's only for mopey nogf dudes" idk i'm still like wtf was that

>>17359155
One night a car full of girls stopped at a light and started "hey"ing/cheering at me. I still wonder if they were a bachelorette party trying to entice me to have my dick sucked

Man, I'm so unsure on what ideology or worldview I should adopt. Every single one has its proponents and those who oppose it. Not sure if I should follow Buddhism, Hinduism, Objectivism, Egoism, etc. you get my point. I'm just so confused man

>>17359198
Don't worry about finding an ideology. Pick and choose whatever works for you from various ideologies.

>>17359198
Take it on a case by case basis anon. You don't have to jump in with the crowd. If you think that some part of an ideology is fits your value judgement system, then adopt it until proven wrong. You can't build on a framework until you have a framework and there's not really a universal framework for deciding what framework you want to use.

I was watching some old Woodman Casting pornos, and these videos are a window into a radically different time period. The guy filmed with erotic models, many of whom would pass for the top tier of Instagram models today. We're talking 18 year olds with flawlessly toned bodies and full, firm breasts, and the fucker would kiss and sodomize them like they were cheap prostitutes. Now, what I meant by this being a whole different world, is that it's nigh on impossible to find girls this good looking who would do something like this nowadays, for the simple reason that they just don't have to. They can simply run an Only Fans from the comfort of their homes, or they can attract hordes of simps on Instagram if they're pretty enough. Even Woodman himself shoots with boring butterfaces these days. The golden days of porn are behind us, and we have the internet to blame for it.

>>17359413
Yeah, it seemed that his hottest models were eastern europeans like Rose who were just getting started in the business. The quality of model definitely went down, lots of small-tit skinny girls work for the big studios such as Realitykings or Metart now, while the golden ratio girls only work privately. Feminism has been a disaster for porn consumers (and most models too, who i hear barely break minimum wage on OF).

>>17359062
Yeah, because they're all Western VNs. If you want non-gay ones, look to the East; they invented the genre, after all.

>>17359413
Take the 2D/3D-CGI pill. If it's sexual gratification you want, there's nothing better.

>>17359463
>lots of small-tit skinny girls work for the big studios such as Realitykings or Metart now, while the golden ratio girls only work privately
Yeah exactly. There are very few natural golden ratio girls in porn these days, and the ones that exist don't exactly have the prettiest faces. Woodman, on the other hand, fucked magazine models half his age like they were dime a dozen, all while being an ugly bald fucker, and one that didn't even speak their language to boast. I realize that he benefited from a glut of poor Eastern European teenagers looking to make money, but still, it's impossible to imagine a new site matching the quality of the girls he shot, their number, or the audacity of things he did with them.

>>17356961
Two things. a) I feel like I'm largely surrounded by idiots; and b) I wish I could conquer my lust for the flesh (aka stop being a coomer). Amen.

>>17359513
Don’t do this, it’s addictive as hell

i'm going to bed another day completely wasted

Im a coward. I couldnt be a philosopher according to Plato.

>>17357276
Be safe anon losing it all is never the end

If two people's minds/souls were to merge, would the resultant person be both those individuals or would they be an entirely different person who just inherited the memories and traits of those individuals?

it is really lonely to be a cosmonaut and to be born for something you will never achieve. To have little potential and none of it realized is perhaps worse than being a genius who can at least produce an interesting or clever anecdote now and then.

I want to go to space but it will never happen in my lifetime. Probably society will collapse and I will end up dead at the bottom of a pile in an all versus all as the lifetimes of terrible social engineering decisions all unravel simultaneously just as we have perhaps something worthwhile to do in our grasp.

You know that we will probably die alone on this rock before finding any interesting aliens to get annihilated by or talk to you know. Even a signal from space that says we have a month to live and the sterilization fleet is on it's way would produce some interesting happening that hasn't been on the chalkboard of some sterile think-tank robot for decades.

To have a society planned so far in advance and yet so badly.

>>17359101
https://erogedownload.com/downloads/

I think I'm having an addictive personality disorder. My life could be much better if only I could stay sober.

>>17359719
Don't waste days but tell yourself that you need time. Sometimes you need a year where you do nothing in life before it goes on. Doing nothing is not bad unlike society tells you. For some people it can save life's. You just have to see it for what it is.

>>17358186
i did the same thing. then i got out my worn de sade leather edition and, as soon as i had read the first pages, jerked off to the frontal view of a shitting 21-year-old. afterwards i ate some strongly spiced chips.

being a slave in a slave world. enjoyment and nothing more. epicurus was one of the good ones. but if morality doesn't affect you, there is nothing left but perversion. i enjoy my guilt and slavery - the reasons lie in my brain. degeneration. what can you do? only wait for death. the pleasure chambers will not be invented in my lifetime.

>He taught that the root of all human neurosis is death denial and the tendency for human beings to assume that death will be horrific and painful, which he claimed causes unnecessary anxiety, selfish self-protective behaviors, and hypocrisy. According to Epicurus, death is the end of both the body and the soul and therefore should not be feared. Epicurus taught that although the gods exist, they have no involvement in human affairs
Why Epicurus so underrated?

>>17360411
how can one who is still being read two thousand and three hundred years after his death be underrated? and if you are going to post a teaching of epicurus, then at least take the one that is most characteristic for him: the goal of man is lust. the surest way to lust is virtue.

>>17360411
>>17360463
epicurus sucks and his "philosophy" is normie boomer worldview. plato is rightly regarded as the superior ancient sage.

>>17360470
epicurus philosophy is pretty much the opposite of the boomer mindset. for the boomer, virtues are obstacles on the way to lust (even if he claims the reverse when asked about them).

>>17357919
It is reflective of a healthy humility. Strive to be worthy of that which you have been afforded and you shall never be found wanting.

>>17359642
>a)
You are. Any thinking person is. C'est la vie.

>>17359809
Unanswerable and meaningless. The more clarity you want in the answer, the more clarity you have to put into the question, and the question is vague in its concepts to the point of meaninglessness

>>17359974
they will, but you won't be in one

>>17360470
>plato
that's not socrates

>>17360534
Indeed it isn't.

>>17357032
Based

>>17357276
>he doesn't know
USD is dying anon I'm sorry

>>17359732
That's correct. To be a philosopher you have to be able to think what is not permitted and you need courage to follow your thought in censored forbidden logical spaces. Material cowaradice is related.

>>17360660
>To be a philosopher you have to be able to think what is not permitted and you need courage to follow your thought in censored forbidden logical spaces.
Is it even possible in current times?

>>17360663
Yes, no one is able to stop you from thinking at the moment.

>>17360663
They literally killed Socrates. Surely you won't have it as bad.

>>17359198
Just read and think more until you make your own philosophy. That's what works for me.

>>17360525
Rude.
>>17359809
Yes.

Philosophy has decayed in the past decades because there hasn't been any fundamental/existential question/problem that needed solutions/answers. Things just worked out on automatic mode on neoliberalism post-WW2, so there was no interest in philosophers providing directions or elucidating things. Things were already worked out. Now that it has become more and more clear that has neoliberalism in all aspects, there'll be a revive of philosophy.

I hope you're dilligently working on your readings anon, because in 2030-2040 there'll be need for philosophers again.

>>17360719
More brain grease to lubricate the meat grinder.

>>17360746
Let's throw it away, shall we?

>>17360675
>They literally killed Socrates
Was he right in the end?

>>17360751
I am in favor of the meat grinder. There are no more stones in our shepherd's bag. Goliath with his Philistines leaves the Valley of Elah victorious.

>>17356961
I'm getting real fucking sick of my own hangups.

>reading redpills and blackpills
it's so depressing that i'm losing any hope in myself.

>>17361097
ngmi

>>17361097
Hit us with some hard ones.

whats the best edition of the Malleus Maleficarum

>https://swp.org.uk/press-release-facebook-shuts-down-major-left-wing-group-in-britain/

Nooooo!! ur only supposed to deplatform people I disagree with!

>>17357262
What book is the excerpt from anon?

>>17361332
St Albert the Great - On Cleaving to God

>>17360690
How in the world is that rude? It's the best and most honest answer I could give. I thought about the question, maybe more deeply than you did, and deemed it meaningless because it's just so vague and undefined and the concepts alluded to are completely opaque

>>17361353
Fuck that guy.
Of you have any aspirations whatsoever of being an artist, I strongly caution against taking his advice or opinion seriously.

>>17361404
And that is why they call you Nimrod the Awful.

>>17361399
It's not meaningless. There is a meaning that the poster had in mind even if you can't personally derive it from their words.

In my first week at uni, my two flatmates who are girls informed me in a joking manner during a lengthy conversation that they guessed I had never talked to girls properly before. I laughed and joked at how that sentiment was probably semi-true. Now looking back and I cringe and think about how pathetic and sad it was that was and is my reality.

Increasingly I am being drawn to the belief that relationships are futile and are a means to setting oneself up for disappointment and betrayal. I am being drawn to this idea not out of my own volition, but through a world that seems to me to be moving at the speed of light, while I sit dazed and completely helpless, utterly unaware of my own coming demise.

Thinking about suicide a lot. Not that I’d do it. Just the thought of it. Death and all that. I’ve thought that if I were to do it, I would either choose the most peaceful death imaginable or a death that maximizes brutality as much as possible. A peaceful death would be like sitting in a car and feeding fumes into the car from the exhaust pipe while a listen to music. Or dying of carbon monoxide poisoning. A extreme, brutal death would be like live streaming my self-immolation or some sort of murder-suicide.

Obsessed with my the pathology of depression and loneliness. Understanding it is much harder to get better than it is to sink lower. With this in my mind, it is increasingly compelling to me the thought that I and others ought to make things worse and see where it takes us, what interesting things will happen. I may lament all the bad things that happen and on a surface level wish things were better - but the truth is I hope they get worse and I hope they get worse faster. I’ve tried nothing, everything works. It’s not enough that I should feel this way - I want others to feel pain and suffering also. If I go down, I want everyone I irrationally hate to do down with me.

Posting this means nothing. No catharsis, no consequences, no change. Days chug on by, and I continue spiritually rotting in purgatory, slowly furthering from myself from Heaven, but knowing deep down I am too much of a pussy to reach Hell.

>>17361412
Ha ha. Ignore my warning at your own peril.
If your only aspiration is to be a monk, knock yourself out. But if your aspirations are Art and Beauty, his words are poison for the soul.

>>17356961
Philosophy and science is when you realize, after inspecting X, that X=Y, and whenever you see X you have to remind yourself: "this X is actually Y"

Mysticism is when X manifests to you as Y, and you see it as such

>>17361532
you know you desire a girlfriend. but you also know that you are affraid - of what? of disappointing the other person. of not being enough. this creates a struggle between your desire (to have a girlfriend) and your fear ( not being enough). you can get out of this dilemma in two ways: you face your fear, accept the risk, and start approaching women. or you give in to the fear.

someone who is afraid searches for reasons why his desire (to have a girlfriend) is unreasonable, dangerous, senseless, in short: not desirable. he tries to avoid the pressure of becoming an upright human being. he crawls away with the little hammer of his misguided rationality and beats his desire to pieces.

After an epiphany I had today, I came to the conclusion that faeries, UFOs and other numens are real, but only those who have a clean and pure soul can perceive them

>>17361655
Philosophy and science is when "=" is based on rationality or empirical evidence, respectively. Mysticism is when "=" is based on unknown and unexplainable factors therefore uncommunicable and non-rational.
The truth-value of the "=" relation is unknown in all cases.

gays are mentally ill and fucked in the head and that shouldn't be a controversial thing to say

>>17361656
I’m too scared of failure. If I failed i genuinely don’t know what I’d do - it would confirm to me everything I already think, no matter how irrational I know it is. Much easier to wallow in what could’ve been.

>>17361679
Getting close. Read the Enneads.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that Marxists are the modern equivalent of the stools. In the same manner that the stoically submit to the logos, marxists do to the laws of history and the economy. Even if their political goals are emancipatory, they still gladly submit to different master.

>>17361798
gays removed homosexuality from it being mental illness back in 70's

>>17361426
Can't say I agree. He thought there was meaning, but that's only because he pondered the question on a very shallow level. The more you consider it, the less it means.
What is a soul, anyway, how do you quantify it, and how do you know? Even if you could answer these questions satisfactorily, which I highly doubt, then there's a whole slew of further questions that follow.
The words have no substance behind them, only ideas so vague you can't convey or rationalize them, rendering the question meaningless.

>>17361964
All these words have colloquial meanings and the question can be answered to that standard. You're the one looking for a formal standard that doesn't exist, so of course you can't find it.

>>17361964
you have to accommodate anon a bit. if a socratic linguist came along and asked you for the definitions of the words you use (meaning, substance, idea - to name only the most obvious ones), you would get lost in an never-ending maze. for example, what does the word "he" mean?
the other person.
what is the "other person"?
etc ad infinitum

>>17361964
>>17362346
Why do you both use assumptions at the foundation of your arguments? Can your arguments not hold if the person you're talking to can in fact define the terms you enumerate?

>>17361097
Don't let it depress you and break you, let it be the fuel that fires you to change things.

>>17362437
i think blackpills idea is to completely crush you as there's nothing you can do about it.

I need to lighten up my ratio of non fiction to fiction. Browsing this place has secretly brainwashed me to buying more of the former when I tend to like the latter more often in reality

>>17362411
Unanswerable and meaningless.

>>17362248
Can it though?

>>17362346
I know, I know. I agree. I think I didn't cross the line though, my whole point is that I genuinely believe the original question is just too vague to answer because the concepts alluded to are too vaguely defined and perhaps too vague to define. I actually started thinking about it and quickly realized I can't get anywhere because while the question is interesting on the surface, I don't actually know what any of it means, on a conceptual level. And I'm not sure the anon who asked it really gave it much thought, hence my reply. I'm aware you can quickly descend into an autistic linguistic rabbit hole that way, maybe that's how it already comes off to some anons.

>>17362411
Well, the original anon hasn't replied as far as I can tell, but I'm very skeptical that they can define them to the degree I mean.
And well, no, my argument is not necessarily *meant* to hold provided anon could present me with a clear meaning, because the argument itself is concerned with the perceived lack of meaning on my part, and while of course I could be wrong, I don't think I am.

>>17362655
Thanks for being me, but I didn't intend to be either combative or pretentious, well okay, maybe a bit pretentious, but at any rate, calling it meaningless isn't any sort of insult, I just think it was a question that makes less sense the more you ponder it. Am I wrong?

>>17362843
Have you read philosophy? What is soul/mind has been discussed extensively both by the Ancients and the Enlightenment philosophers. It's nothing unusual to just refer to "soul/mind" and assume people know what you're talking about on a literature board.

>>17358454
That is so retarded. Numbers are as real as any concept used to describe really. The numbers themselves exist only in the human mind, but they're useful to describe things that are real. Numbers are as real as hot and cold, or any human concept that describes states of matter.

>>17358454
That is so retarded. Numbers are as real as any concept to describe reality. The numbers themselves exist only in the human mind, but they're useful to describe things that are real. Numbers are as real as hot and cold, or any human concept that describes states of matter.

>>17361232
all modern women are whores who get aroused by emasculating you

>>17361232
The various European ethnicities who built the most advanced and beautiful societies in all of history are going extinct as a result of their own compassion for the lesser races

Another emmie thread, I hate this stupid balding wretch, her blank potato face staring one eye at the camera lens and the other at some mediocre book she is about to pitch to her drooling igloo melting audience. I'm going to open her stupid fucking thread and type lol. That will show them.

>>17357301
abuse him back lol

>>17363041
That's not a *-pill, it's just an incorrect view of the world.

Somebody help. I can't enjoy things anymore. I can't enjoy music anymore. I don't think I feel depressed. wat do?

>>17363080
t. roastie or virgin

>>17363121
Do acid

>>17363130
Is it really that simple? Won't I just end up pushing the problem out a bit? To the point I can only enjoy music high? I've done shrooms a few times, yet still here I am.

>>17363184
It is not, more like procrastinating while you don't feel like shit about it.

>>17363184
You thirst for adventure. Steal something. Grope a strange woman. Drive north until it's dark, sleep in your car, and try to find attractive strangers footloose and aloof.

>>17363275
E X O P L O D E

>>17363121
I've had that for like 6 years now. Welcome to the club, there's no escape

>>17363228
>>17363275
These sound more like distractions than solutions. Something is off in my soul. Wonder at the world has gone. Colour's drained.

>>17363325
pls no

im feelin good 2day wooooooooo

>>17363121
I'd play it cool for a while. Maybe you're in a metamorphosis and are about to be eased into a different way of living from what you're used to. Maybe you're tired of your old songs.

>>17363533
Won't solve anything, anon. Life is just shit sometimes. Accept it and see what you can do about it. You should unironically ask those things to people that you know instead of anons. People in here are fucking retarded and they also don't know you.

You could maybe abstract other people, by thinking what would you tell yourself to do if you were your friend.

I have 9 pages left of The 40 Rules of Love. I shouldn't have read it. I can't learn any more from books. I keep reading because the books keep me in a frame of mind where I feel prepared for hte world. It's time to let go, but in reality, if I am to do that, I would need something else to occupy my time. I started doing yoga to this end. It's alright, it's really physically taxing. Maybe I could do some charity thing. I gotta live what I read, reading more of it... very doubtful. It was an ok book, a little heavy on the romanticism, and for having so much to say on spirituality a little shallow. I can see how this could be a real bestseller- real easy to read, just flows into you, with a nice take-home message, vague but really feel-good; endless quotes a boomer could write on a wall in their house, all doused in orientalism. Perfect. Fairly enjoyable tebehe.

>>17363533
I will tell you what a decent therapist will tell you:

Judging your thoughts and feelings will compound them. Don't judge yourself for feeling bad, don't pathologize it as a crisis in your soul, learn to do things IN SPITE of how you feel. What would you like to do? Not how would you like to feel?

Your feelings are not good or bad, it's our responses to them that create meaning. So you feel depressed? What does depression feel like? Not what story has your mind concocted to explain the feelings, but what do you actually feel? I bet you'll find it's not so bad without a story.

Accept yourself, your thoughts and feelings, but don't believe they are TRUE. They are real, not true. You can nod at them, but don't invite them to tea.

And finally - I know you probably won't believe this, but IT WILL PASS. You will feel GOOD AGAIN.

>>17363682
>Judging your thoughts and feelings will compound them
>Not what story has your mind concocted to explain the feelings, but what do you actually feel? I bet you'll find it's not so bad without a story.
are all decent therapists actually daoists?

Is it possible to get a job you legitimately enjoy? Or is work time ultimately just lost time?

>>17363706
They pretend to be for money- also I thought I was in the depressed guy thread.

That morning I had tried to hang myself.
I had taken the silk cord of my mother's yellow bathrobe as soon as she left for work, and, in the amber shade of the bedroom, fashioned it into a knot that slipped up and down on itself. It took me a long time to do this, because I was poor at knots and had no idea how to make a proper one.
Then I hunted around for a place to attach the rope.
The trouble was, our house had the wrong kind of ceilings. The ceilings were low, white and smoothly plastered, without a light fixture or a wood beam in sight. I thought with longing of the house my grandmother had before she sold it to come and live with us, and then with my Aunt Libby.
My grandmother's house was built in the fine, nineteenth-century style, with lofty rooms and sturdy chandelier brackets and high closets with stout rails across them, and an attic where nobody ever went, full of trunks and parrot cages and dressmakers' dummies and overhead beams thick as a ship's timbers.
But it was an old house, and she'd sold it, and I didn't know anybody else with a house like that.
After a discouraging time of walking about with the silk cord dangling from my neck like a yellow cat's tail and finding no place to fasten it, I sat on the edge of my mother's bed and tried pulling the cord tight.
But each time I would get the cord so tight I could feel a rushing in my ears and a flush of blood in my face, my hands would weaken and let go, and I would be all right again.

>>17356961
I'm reading Romance of the Three Kingdoms and it's hard to keep track of the names because they're all Chen Lou or Ce Lung or Zhang Rang. Characters are introduced and then killed off in ten of fifteen pages. I'm having fun but I kind of want to put it on hold so I can read some other stuff. Thing is I know I'll be completely lost when I get back.

>>17363609
>>17363619
>>17363682
You fellas are alright, ta. You earlier anons, too. Even the guy who told me grope a random woman. I'd like to formally thank you all for tolerating my whining whilst simultaneously acknowledging the dubs present in my previous post. Night, frens.

god why is it so hard to control lust. why must i be tormented
aaaahhhhh

>>17363749
Yeah, you can't pause a book like that. You'll have to start all over.

I can not stop eating cornflakes

>>17364305
Write a Murakami-esque short story about it. That's how I purge myself of all my obsessive behaviours.

There have been a few people on snow mobiles racing about on the lake ice for almost 10 hours now, they started at 7AM. They have done this for 5 days in a row now but every other day they have stopped by noon or so. Judging by the volume I assume they do not really have mufflers and it is rather loud. It is really starting to take a toll on me, I work evenings and have not gotten much sleep in the past 5 days.

>Write What's On Your Mind
I've been holding in a piss for at least half an hour.
I need a piss.
It's 10pm, and I still have dishes to do.
I swore I was going to read 10 more pages of my current book today, finish the chapter.
Oh god I really need a piss, I really shouldn't be writing my thoughts on 4chan.
Why is /lit/ so slow anyway?
I found another book I forgot to add to my 2021 reading list it's Mike Martin's 'Why We Fight' fyi and now I really need to be keeping up the pace to reach my target.
Like fuck, my stack has Heidegger and Coomaraswamy in it, I know I'm gonna have to dedicate some serious time to some of these books, I need to crack on.
FUCK I need a piss.
I really want to watch Kevin and Perry Go Large, but I really want to slot it into an evening where I have the place to myself, except the only night I have to myself on the reg is already full of Orthodox zoom calls, the latest ep of The Expanse and more reading. Unless I watch it earlier in the evening or late afternoon.
I can see the appeal of piss jugs and catheters now.

>>17356961
I have to stop looking for flaws in the world that can reaffirm my belief that I am determined to be miserable

what is the problem with this idea
for countries with parliamentary democracy and more than 2 parties, what if everyone got to cast two votes? that way you could either put both on your favorite or split your vote between your two favorites. This way you could ever so slightly try to favor a particular coalition over another. Of if you're just not so sure, maybe just drop one of your votes, then you don't have to feel so responsible when it all goes to shit
>why not 3 or 5?
idk, 2 seems right. I don't see any downside to this

>>17358907
i know that feel bro

>>17364463
okay bud, you just stumbled on one of my interests. you have a few options that take on various forms, but first you need to distinguish between a preferential voting system (where you're ranking the candidates on one ballot by preference), and a mixed member system (where you have two separate ballots and cast a single vote on each).
I could formulate your idea one of two ways in this respect, off a surface level reading of what you're trying to achieve. for preferential voting you could go straight Instant Runoff Voting (or Alternative Vote), for mixed member you have Mixed Member Proportional (or Additional Member System) where you vote for local representative on first ballot no different from your usual election, but then you vote for your favourite party on the 2nd ballot and the results from the 2nd ballot are used to award seats in addition to local representatives in order to make the political body more representative.
So to go over this, you have:
-Plurality/FPTP
-IRV/AV
-Pure PR
-MMP/AMS which is a FPTP ballot for local representation, and a second PR ballot
-AV+, which is an IRV/AV ballot for local representation, and a second PR ballot
But before you think any of those sound good (you might think "local representation AND proportional representation? count me in!") hold your horses.
They all fucking suck.
The REAL solution is Single Transferable Vote (STV), and like fuck am I gonna explain it to you here, look up cgpgrey's vids on STV.

>>17364463
I'll explain some more.
so an IRV system like AV solves the "spoiler effect" in plurality/FPTP. the "spoiler effect" is that by voting for your most preferred party, you might cause your next preferred party to lose to your least preferred party.
in IRV, you can mark your most preferred party as first choice, and your next preferred party as second choice. if your most preferred party is unpopular and gets eliminated, their votes are transferred to the second preference on the ballots and so your next preferred party gets a shot at winning.

cool, except it suffers from a different problem, the centre squeeze. if a minor party sits in between two major parties in terms of policy, then they are going to be preferred by voters for each major party versus the other.
Imagine a situation in which party A gets 45% of the vote, party B (the centrist third party) 15% of the vote, and party C gets 40% of the vote.
now, party B gets eliminated and the votes redistributed, but say 11% of party B voters prefer party C over party A, party C now wins, even though party B would've been party A voters' 2nd choice and a party most people would be at least a little OK with.

both plurality and instant runoff suffer the same problem in that they only protect against political radicalism as long as the two major parties stay fairly moderate. if the two major parties start drifting right and left, you're fucked.

>>17364528
>a mixed member system (where you have two separate ballots and cast a single vote on each)
this sounds right
why does it suck ass?
>why wouldn't it suck ass anon?
idk maybe there's something that happens mathematically here that I'm not seeing, but I think it would reveal some real undercurrents in a society if people could split their vote on two (out of a number) different parties. you may find that you have some significant aggregates in peoples' second choices, and given that parliamentary politics in countries like mine (Sweden) consistently turn completely to shit when coalitions are to be negotiated: idk, maybe it would help if people could choose to vote for a party twice or for a particular coalition-option

>>17363079
kek

>>17364463
so why don't I like mixed member systems like MMP or AV+?
these systems allow for both local AND proportional representation.
the big problem is, they don't allow for individual politicians to be held accountable to the electorate.
to explain, in plurality or even instant runoff voting for local seats, a political party can increase the odds of crony career candidates winning by standing them for elections in safe seats for that party, and running the minor candidates in less safe seats. you as a constituent get no choice over which candidate your preferred party will stand in your constituency, and it might be a cunt, but you'll still vote for the cunt because you don't want to risk the other party winning.
second issue is with the PR ballot. the PR ballot in these systems will almost certainly be a closed party list ballot. that is, when a party is awarded seats based on vote proportion, the party gets to internally decide which people to award those seats to, not the electorate.
the entire voting system protects crony candidates, unpopular individuals in otherwise popular parties. there's no way for voters to hold them to account other than to vote for other parties.
this system is common as dog shit across Europe. I believe New Zealand also does it.
what it often leads to is a two-coalition rather than a two-party race. for example, in Scotland, if the SNP needs support for a majority, they can form a coalition with the Scottish Greens. In Germany, the CDU and the CSU operate in much the same way. You're essentially voting for different wings of the same party in order to nudge policy to focus on one area or another.

but I repeat, no voting system aside from STV (with consolidated constituencies of at least 5 seats, and the option of open ballots within said consolidated constituencies) truly allows for the electorate to hold individual politicians to account.

>>17364592
sorry I didn't have auto updates on. here's your answer anyway. >>17364655

>>17364592
>>17364655
ok, more of an explanation. technically, AV+ with an open party list PR ballot could be possible, except it's highly, highly impractical, because the PR ballot will either be nationwide or for large regions of the country, which means voters would have to be familiar with a huge number of any one party's candidates and be able to rank them.
STV allows for open ballot preferential voting that's more manageable, because there is going to be a limit on how many candidates each party stands within a superconstituency of, say, 5-7 seats.
A party in a constituency electing 5 members is not going to stand 5 candidates. they're going to stand about 2 or 3, 4 at absolute max, but the problem is, the more candidates they stand for election, the more options they give constituents to rank out their crony candidates. the fewer candidates they stand per constituency, the less choice they give constituents and the greater the opportunity for crony candidates to be elected, however in doing so, that party will be severely limiting its ability to win enough seats to form government.
it puts parties in a catch 22 where the only way to ensure individuals win seats is to limit their potential to form government. which is fantastic for the electorate because, as I said, it allows us to hold individual politicians to account.

remember if anyone talks about electoral reform
>single transferable vote
>constituencies consolidated into superconstituencies of at least 5 seats
>open ballots as, at the very least, an option to voters - and any party votes on closed ballots to be awarded to candidates according to open ballot ranking, not closed party list
these are the three benchmarks I use to assess any campaign for electoral reform.

Angry at how she can go help an alcoholic and crackhead of a man.

>>17356961
Nothing. Apathy. I dont care anymore.

>>17364719
keep politics out of this, leave Hunter out of this, I'm proud of my son, Trump has got to go, w-what day is it? Kneepads, my depends are wet, help me change before I talk to Xi Jinping

>>17364719
I'm sorry, anon. Some people are blind to the faults of others.

>>17364778

good ole ex boyfriend baggage.

I'm going to leave the internet for a little while and try to concentrate on being less of a bug-man. Hopefully, I'll develop some deeper understanding of myself and become closer to God. Wish me luck, later brothers.

>>17364902
Good luck, God bless

It hasn't been my day for a couple years. What's a couple more?

Going to sleep after 40 hours without it feels so divine. I'm gonna do it again, 24 hours to go.

>>17365020
I did that after the election lol. I stayed up for ages waiting for the final states to call their results, and then they dragged it on for what, days, weeks?

Why did I decide to fly back to the US...
This is a country of NPCs, there is nothing else to do but consume. You do not even see the face of people any more, everyone is wearing a mask.

>>17365250
where did you fly from?

Untie me brethren, let me be enveloped by that sweet, sweet song.

>>17365036
How long were you up?

>>17365331
bout 42 hours iirc
I felt fucking rough

>>17365251
Munich, Germany. Now back in NYC.

Tragedy is an entirely male invention. Women can neither comprehend nor experience tragedy. They can experience loss and grief, sure, but only of the animal kind - the mother losing her litter, the bitch losing her mate, the animal crying out because it is in pain. Only men are truly capable of being crushed by abstractions and ideals. Women are incapable of self-denial and martyrdom, just as they are incapable of the disconnect between the self and nature which Mishima says is responsible for all art. All tragic heroines are the inventions of male writers. In the case of real tragic female figures - Joan of Arc, to name one - they were either children with brains that have not yet wholly differentiated by sex, or, by definition, men. Because of the latter point I believe in transgenderism.

>>17358675
See ya satsuki poster

I wish I had more sense. If I could pass a day without making any mistakes, perhaps I would be happy

>>17365473
>Because of the latter point I believe in transgenderism.
Interesting point. I've seen TERFs argue that transwomen shouldn't be allowed to identify as female, but should instead "broaden what it means to be a man" or some shit. Like chopping your junk off, taking hormones to grow tits and getting fucked in the ass should somehow be considered "masculine" on the basis of the fact that you were born biologically male.
No. Those aren't masculine traits, and trying to broaden the definition of masculinity to include them renders the entire notion of masculinity meaningless.

>>17365514
Luckily, very few trannies will reproduce. This age represents a great culling of genetic material. Natural selection once again bears down on humanity, as the mentally weak neuter themselves, fall prone to addiction, and slaughter each other in meaningless conflicts of ideology they don't understand.

>>17365812
I think people are made sick by untenable social conditions. Without trying to deny the reality of the way trannies are wired, I would question how much of that is what they're born with, and how much is due to childhood development and phenotype expression in a sick world.

The Food Lab - nigger lives doesn't matter

turn off google alerts

>>17365855
I agree. Research on the subject is pretty slim and contradictory.

This is an interesting (possibly flawed) study, if you're interested.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5953012/

In summary, transgender individuals experience change in lifestyle, context of beliefs and concepts and, as a result, their culture and behaviors. Given the close relationship and interaction between culture, behavior and brain, the individual’s brain adapts itself to the new condition (culture) and concepts and starts to alter its function and structure. In fact, the individual has distanced from the specific cultural environment and so does not exhibit culturally contextualized behaviors any more. Therefore, the function and structure of the brain become affected after a while (the certain period during which the cultural environment is undergoing a change) and drive the individual toward culturally voluntary behaviors, followed by changes in the cultural environment and the individual’s lifestyle. Thus, we believe that after a certain period of management, transgender individuals can be driven toward culturally contextualized behaviors via changing the specific cultural environment and lifestyle and can be adapted to their original biological gender through trying to enjoy a natural sexual relationship. Afterward, the brain again will adapt to normal initial conditions based on its own biological sex and modify and fit itself toward the same-sex brain state.

bump

>>17362990
It's just as you say, the numbers themselves exist only in the human mind. Read the room, friend. You're not in disagreement with the person you're quoting, since, up the chain, the original poster said
>4 is real, universal, objective

another day wasted day in the history books

Is it a stupid idea to write an action story? I always wanted to make a manga but I'm white, american, and bad at drawing, but I like writing. I want to write like a 12 volume story about a guy just fucking fighting people.

>>17367254
sounds gay but can't be any worse than anything else self-published on amazon

I was the only one of her children that defended her and loved her unconditionally, and she still manages to push me away. I’m not a liar. I don’t drink your fucking alcohol. You don’t do everything for me. You have never token the time to know me. Jesus fucking Christ I hope I never have children.

>>17365473
Have you read Otto Weininger or Schopenhauer by any chance?

damn connor mcgregor is such an overhyped chud i couldnt bring myself to watch the fight, now i see he got btfo lmao

Yo yo yo yo you are all faggots LMAOOOOOOO r e k t

I understand what i need to do but i cant bring myself to actually do it.

>>17368018
Are you into philosophy?

>>17357477
I have recently learned the extent to which my childhood and early adolescence, in short sexual abuse and all manner of neglect on the part of my mother and multiple issues with how I view myself and others from my father, all of this resulting in a tragic, self loathing narcissism alongside already being autistic, have warped me. I have not considered any kind of nobility in my continuing will to live and thrive, and I will take such a golden, small comfort in a droplet at a time for I have learned I am blind and monstrous when confident, until your words, anon. Thank you

Neoliberalism is dying. I don't care if people can see it or not, I can see it and I don't care about convincing others about it. I also now what's gonna replace neoliberalism: civic nationalism, sovereign movements, "right-wing" populist movements, traditionalist/conservatist movements, etc. Which is fine--I don't care whether it's "progressivism" or "conservatism" as long as they're true to their ideology. The problem is that they aren't and won't be. Similar to how "progressivism" is not actual progressivism--it's corporate wokism devoid of any actual ideology. And the problem is that "conservatism" will be the same. It will be hijacked by other populist grifters and steal again.

So what's on my mind is how to help reduce the damage of the inevitable attempts at hijacking counter-movements. I know it's impossible to eliminate it due to human nature, but I do believe there's a way to reduce the damage. I know it's a cliche, but all my thinking always led me into the same place: the best way to do it is with understanding, patience, and education.

>>17368022
What do you have in mind by "into philosophy"? As in do i read it?

>>17368090
Yeah or value reason in general. I have a solution that worked for me, but I think it may only work for people into philosophy.

>>17368101
Yes, i do read philosophy. Whats the solution?

>>17368121
It's similar to Kant's practical reason. The only way to have free will is to reason something beforehand. In other words, there are two ways to use reason: (1) subjugated to impulses: e.g. you feel hungry and then you use your reason to satiate hunger (just as any other tool); (2) reason subjugating impulses: e.g. you tell yourself you eat at 5PM and you eat then regardless of whether you're hungry or whatever.
This is just an example. I make myself wake up at 8:00 and start working at 8:30AM. Even today on Sunday I started reading at 8:30AM because that's what I decided. If at 8:30AM I'm lazy or sleepy or don't feel like it, then I abandon my free will and give in to animalistic impulses and I'm no better than an animal who uses reason only to fulfill their primitive impulses. The only way to have free will and respect myself as a rational human being is to adhere to my reason. I also think that's related to liberty--if you only do what you feel like you're not free, you're a slave to your desires.
Not sure if this makes sense. It's what helped me a lot. I no longer have to ask myself "why do I have to work? why do I have to go to the gym?" before doing it, because I already answered long before when I planned out my life and on the moment I do it because I had already chose to do it and not doing it means abandoning free will and my own humanity.

>>17368144
Thats an interesting way of looking at things. My problem is more of a being too much of a coward to finally do it kind of thing.

>>17356961
DICK!! BURY ME!!!
EVERYDAY!!!
I OWE NOTHING TO THE ONES ABOVE!!
I AM LOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>17357301
GO INTO HIS ROOM ONE NIGHT AND BEAT HIM WITH A HAMMER,
STEAL SOME OF HIS SHIT,
DUMP IT.
BLAME IT ON NIGGERS
PROFIT

>>17368592
That's immoral.

>>17368018
you think too much. no one understands anything anon. you have made up a narrative and placed yourself in it. For whatever reason you have taken your emotions and out of them created a role for yourself to play. Why? The emotion didn't command you to, it was a choice. So what are you getting out of it? The sweet melancholy of self-disappointment? Better would be to let the emotion evolve unmolested. It knows where it needs to go, but by restricting it and dominating it you are stoping it from bearing fruit. It will continue to frustrate you for as long as you frustrate it. No words can describe feelings, only feeling can express feeling. When we make games out of our feelings, it is as if we rob them of their essence. At first we find peace, having subdued that which bothered us. But over time, the feeling that at first accepted that it was negotiated out of the picture, it will realize that this negotiation was done in bad faith, and then it will rebel. Easier would have been to let it express its essence freely instead of trying to find new and ever more desperate ways to control it.

Question: Do you think that you've talk to me out of this and the times that I've tried to call you out?

>>17369367
you're right anon. the cowardice is my own creation but it seems to spiraled out of control that it's acting as a protection for me against me.

>>17369392
it won't last. it can't. just give it time and don't worry. not acting until you feel more sure of yourself is perfectly fine. maybe you find, when you give it time, that you don't want to act. if that's what it comes to then that's fine too. in my experience acting out of a contrived sense of duty seldom ends well.

Go on I need a good laugh

>>17369435
i cant give it more time. i'm already retreating from living the life by isolating myself at parents place and being neet.

>>17365514
terfs so not believe that males should mutilate their bodies—they should just be allowed to be fags

>>17369585
I see. I reckon there are basically two choices: either you just take a big plunge all at once, or you try to do something incrementally. Maybe get in touch with a church and see if you can help out with some charity projects. Any step is a step you know? And I think that can help undo some knots for you. The body needs to be used human beings need to feel useful, I think. I'd be neutral and recommend something secular except I don't know of any secular equivalents

>>17369627

I think this guy has the right idea - go and help someone. It works because it gets you started doing something; your help is needed and will be appreciate, which will make you feel better about yourself; it will help you meet people who will see what's good in you and may lead to another opportunity that is more like what you actually want.

>>17369627
>>17369652
i'm reluctant to admit but both you are right - it's either i learn to swim or i die. it's funny to think that i still hold on to belief that's its better no to choose anything than pick something as by picking you choose what other options can offer.

I dont feel like writing on your thread
But yet again here i am

i want to get into deleuze but i fear i am too much of a brainlet

>>17369856
Read Spinoza, Bataille, and Bergson instead. They are all easier to understand anyway.

>>17356961
I feel better than I have in years, it's amazing. I guess I finally found a meds-cocktail that actually works. I'm more active, and motivated than ever, and I don't feel crippling guilt and self-hate. I hope it lasts a while. Every other time I've felt like this, there was a comedown, but maybe this time it'll hold...

>>17369884
lol

>>17367292
you're such a fucking cunt, holy shit.
I didn't think I had to avoid this thread of all places before watching the fight. fuck you, you piece of shit.

>>17369367
I'm not that anon so I guess it doesn't matter, but I have no fucking idea what it is you're trying to say here. reading it over and over and it's just not making any sense, your whole thing about the emotions and making a narrative of them or whatever. apparently the anon you were actually replying to understood you, but I don't.

>>17370116
Its probably something about you putting yourself in current situation and creating an emotion to escape from thing you want to avoid instead of facing it.

This site is known for being racist and I've been here for years exposed to all the white nationalist, alt right, whatever talking points, yet I find I spend more time arguing with racists on here than posting anything racist.

>>17370080
kek

>>17357262
Perhaps try using it as a creative outlet? I day dream all the time as a way of having fun but I find it also helps me with my job as a storyboard and previs artist for cinema

https://www.goarmy.com/ranger/life-in-the-ranger-regiment/being-an-army-ranger.html
scroll a bit down.
White family with mulatto child...
yep that's what I would advertise if I didn't want people to become US rangers

>>17370659
Maybe the man is sterile from some injury so they adopted the kid. No need to immediately imagine your favorite porn.

>>17370676
why adopt a negro then?

>>17370205
4chan is notoriously more diverse and progressive than neoliberals actually are.

>>17370696
Maybe he was the cutest there? Or there were a lot, so they took what the child service was happy to give out?

>>17370703
>cherry pick images
What kind of brainlet is convinced by this?

>>17370723
Go back newfag

>>17370676
soldiers are so used to getting cucked while deployed that they even have a slang for it, look up "jody". gotta give that army ad credit for being honest, lmao

>>17370726
I am just giving you some advice, /pol/ tourist.
These images and infographics are retarded and only retards use them.

>>17370803
Retard

>>17370803
>he's still fighting the simulacrae

I wish I had a story to tell.

>>17371019
Go to a gay dance club wearing a g-string and covered in petroleum jelly. Wait for the first man to flirt with you, take him out back, and beat him half to death with a blackjack you had hidden up your ass. Continue until they suspect you of foul play, then run naked through the streets blaring techno from a soundbar you had hidden up your ass.

>>17371139
I'd tell you to shove this idea up your ass but you'd like that wouldn't you

>>17371158
Don't insult me, i have a blackjack

>>17370617
kys

>>17370205
known by whom? retards? who cares?