/lit/ - Literature

Chabon would kill Foer. Foer is a vegan and thus weak, his brittle bones will be destroyed in seconds.

I don't know when it comes to Douglas Adams vs Kurt Vonnegut. Douglas Adam's best is better than Vonnegut but Vonnegut is a more consistent writer when it comes to quality.

>>1730800
Well it's a good thing we aren't talking about their FUCKING WRITING ISN'T IT?

Austen looks like she had a sturdy frame, but the time she was in probably softened her a great deal. Woolf had her problems too of course, it's probable that during the fight she would have a breakdown and end up sobbing on the floor, opening herself up to an Austen Uppercut. But then again, the crazy ones are so unpredictable, she may just gouge out Austens eyes and eat her ears.

I think I give this round to Woolf.

>>1730808
My thoughts exactly. Woolf seemed wiry and maybe possessing an unnatural strength. I assume she'd save the sobbing for the point where she was actually pulling strips of flesh from Austen's fresh corpse and eating them.

>>1730795
>post add-ons to first list before seeing this thread
>only one author overlaps

Instead of fighting, O'Connor and Capote should put aside their differences and bond over their shared history of secretly being time-traveling Oberlin students from 2004

>>1730797
ooh that's a good point. it'd still be a bigger wussy fight than if you had mccarthy and pynchon kickbox each other ten years from now

pretty stupid thread

>>1730877

11. Pynchon wins due to his invisibility powers. McCormac wouldn't even realize who's his opponent until it's too late.

Wilde was a big mf'er and Lord Byron had a gimp foot so I think he loses this one if he's not allowed to use his MASCULINE WILES (too old anyway, am I right)

I don't think it's humanly possible to win a physical fight against someone named "Tennessee."

2. I want Woolf to win, but as she is a whiny bitch who'd sooner an hero, this is unlikely to happen.
11. Thomas Pynchon all the way.
12. Byron hires the Greek Navy to despatch Wilde. He also has Keats and Yeates on his side.

haha Wilde would all be over Byron's junk but Byron would just be like 'Vulgar plebe'.

i don't think anyone has "keeling over from a heart attack three minutes into a fight with jrr tolkien" in my "ways grrm will die before finishing asoiaf" pool

Jane Austen would kick seven shades of shit out of Virginia Woolf, and she'd fight like a fucking man - no hair pulling or rolling about, she'd just put the emo bitch on her fucking arse with a couple of punches to the gut and a devastating right cross.

No contest. It's a fucking mismatch.

>Byron vs. Wilde
oh christ why would you did you have to do THAT

I can't imagine Tom Wolfe winning a fistfight against anyone ever

Except maybe Jonathan Safran Foer

What was the reasoning behind pairing Mishima and Tolstoy?

This would make an awesome MUGEN game.

>>1731849
both had kinda unattractive beards

One of the most useless threads in recent memory.

Keep up the good work, /lit/.

>>1731876
Go fuck your dad, you fucking fairy

>>1731849
I was thinking about how cool the Russo-Japanese war was, and then I looked on my shelf and saw Mishima next to Pushkin, but Pushkin was occupied with his Turgenev fight so I went with Tolstoy instead. ...maybe it should've been Lermontov, but what's done is done.
>>1732071
excellent work.

does george eliot fight dressed up like mulan

Applegate has fucking Huitzilopoctli on her side
Stine's fucked