/lit/ - Literature

gargantuan 19th centry anglo and russo novels about people of means chatting in high society will never be topped for coziness, never, not ever, it's peak comfort.

4121 from 1 2tha; fuggin g; 2 tha. eam'n, f'n tha 2thee g niqqa

EN LOS LÁNGUIDOS DÍAS EN LOS QUE LEER ME PESA, A VECES PIENSO QUE PODRÍA NO LEER MÁS; QUÉ SE SENTIRÍA SI DE HOY EN ADELANTE VIVO COMO INCULTO ILETRADO; COMO UNO MÁS DE EL VULGO QUE ANDA POR CADA ESQUINA SIN HABER LEÍDO MÁS QUE MEDIO LIBRO EN SU ENTERA VIDA?

DE LO MUCHO QUE PERDERÍA ESTARÍA IGNORANTE, SIN LEER HOY, TAL VEZ MAÑANA TAMBIÉN, Y PASADO MAÑANA; POR ESTA SEMANA NI UNA PÁGINA —QUIZÁ IGUALMENTE LA SIGUIENTE—... DESLIZÁNDOME DESDE LA JORNADA SIN LECTURA HACIA LAS ILECTAS DÉCADAS, Y ULTIMADAMENTE MORIR SIN RECORDAR CUÁL FUE LA ÚLTIMA OBRA QUE LEÍ, PERO LUEGO REFLEXIONO, VOLVIENDO EN MÍ, Y DEPURANDO LA TENTACIÓN CON LA COMPRA DE UN LIBRO, Y CON PAGINANTE LECCIÓN.

I know I'm poking a beehive by discussing heated events in politics and this is still fresh but how do you reconcile Baudrillard's idea of the simulacrum with what took place at the Capitol Hill? Not the coverage on the day itself or how extreme it is, I'm not concerned with that. But the basic facts that cannot be denied - a mob of protestors storming the Capitol building, entering the Speaker's Office, people dying, etc - were far beyond what any almost any simulacra had led people to event. Even fringe media's own simulations probably weren't predicting that people would die. I think the hyperreality of /pol/ (or at least some of it) was closer to predicting this reality than any other outlet and that thought baffles me. I always considered /pol/ peak Baudrillardian spectacle. I can think of one instance in which Baudrillard accounted for how an event like this could take place, but the natural agents/actors that contribute to the simulation might have been outdone by the reality itself and I don't think this has ever happened before, let alone in an age when social media, Youtube, and a million splintered realities should normally account for every possibility.

All soothing of the soul lies in the sight of human nature.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqmGpmaMrXM

I know I'm poking a beehive by discussing heated events in politics and this is still fresh but how do you reconcile Baudrillard's idea of the simulacra with what took place at the Capitol Hill? Not the coverage on the day itself or how it has been described afterwards. I'm talking about how almost the entirety of sources that contribute to the broader simulation weren't predicting the chances this would turn so bad, save a few sources here and there most of us have probably never heard of. The basic facts that cannot be denied - a mob of protestors storming the Capitol building, entering the Speaker's Office, people multiple deaths, etc - were far beyond what any almost any simulacrum would lead a viewer to expect during the protests. Even fringe media's own simulations probably weren't predicting that people would die and that members of Congress would be ducking underneath their desks, again disregarding extreme outliers. I think the hyperreality of /pol/ was closer to predicting the possibility of what happened than any other outlet and that thought baffles me. I always considered /pol/ peak Baudrillardian spectacle, where a simulacrum would turn the simplest event into a major happening. I can think of one instance in which Baudrillard himself vaguely accounted for how an event like this could take place, but the natural agents/actors that contribute to the simulation might have been outdone by the reality itself and I don't think this has ever happened before, let alone in an age when social media, Youtube, and a million splintered realities should normally account for every possibility.

>>17299087
god i wish i was that brush

I feel immense shame about being 28 year old kv. I failed the most basic human bonding experience.

Asian girl feet are hit or miss

even with nail polish, I thought they were dude feet for a sec

>>17299788
You should be ashamed of carrying around false beliefs.

>>17299814
What false beliefs?

>>17299831
Let me first ask you a question: Why do you believe you have to be ashamed?

>>17299087
I haven't genuinely read a non-fiction book or learned anything of value in years because I can't collect my focus, and I almost want to kill myself because of it.

>>17299898
Because im not normal according to healthy society. I do not meet the expectations.

I said fuck you to my scientific career. I found it boring. Rona hit. Then nobody responded me. Yeah you are doing fine, keep working hard anon! Shut the fuck up and pretend everything is fine! Do the same as us anon! Those papers aren't going to publish alone! I wonder how much faith these scientists have in their hellish system. Publishing shit since the 70s. Doing the same shit. I couldn't bear it. I don't like to be silent. I don't want to debate other experts nor fight for a place in the academy. I am just normal, I don't want honor, I don't want fancy titles, nor do I wish respect if that means denying how fucked up everything is, including myself. I am a monster. You can play and pretend all you want how spotless righteous and how interesting your research is. I don't see the wonder, I don't like it, I am tired of rationalizing, of giving more legs to the cat, I am here, in the dirt. Perhaps everyone in my lab hates me. I wanted to believe. And I wont forget, but I am different now. And perhaps from the beginning we were different. Goodbye.

Who the fuck got >>17299999 ?

The ancient Egyptians believed in order to enter into paradise your heart must be as light as a feather. Jesus said “The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand.” Heaven is a way of life.

>>17299955
What society believes should only be of interest to us as far as it believes the truth, shouldn't it? Society expects, you say, that you should have had sex with someone by the age of 28. What reasons do they give for this expectation? Since you seem to agree with them, you should be able to explain their reasoning. If you have given the reasons, we can investigate whether they are valid or not. If you have given the reasons, we can examine whether they are valid or not, and whether you should be ashamed or not, and whether for all the reasons or only for some.

But perhaps we can reach our goal more quickly if I tell you a parable.

A owner gives his house to a caretaker and goes travelling. When he returns, he finds the house in complete disrepair. He fires the administrator and ... what does he do? Does he despair at the state of his house? Does he curse himself for having hired a scoundrel? Could we praise such behaviour? I don't think we ever could. But when he collects himself, lets go of his sorrow and shame, turns his attention to the essential tasks, namely to repair his house, and begins to work, persevering and rejoicing in the progress, which is slow and laborious - then he deserves our praise, the praise of all right-thinking people.

Finally made the connection between my stomach issues and my sleep pattern. When I sleep at inconsistent times throughout the day, it upsets my digestion for some reason, and I somehow still get hungry despite feeling full and so on. Time to try and fix it

>>17299087
Sheep, is that you? Imagine tickling that girls foot with the brush haha

If I had a big shlong, I'd be doing nothing but fucking all day.

>>17300085
So in the end it's just my baseless whining? Even then i feel like i've missed out too much to compare myself to others.

>>17300114
No but I did watch the webm and think of that it looks like she did get tickled when it went between her toes she jolted and gasped haha

>>17300184
I have a massive schlong and all I wanna do is fuck chink feet.

>>17300184
Greeks were right on this one again. It's better to have a small dick and medium libido. Having your dick draw the blood from your brain SUCKS in the long run.

>>17300426
Well girls find me hot, but then get disappointed.
If I had a massive piece, I'd have the whole package and be unstoppable. Endless chink feet for me.

>>17300456
If you mean literally that sounds like broscience, but in either case it's a cope.

>>17300716
there are stories of pornstars fainting on stage, because their heads were basically emptying without getting pale

>>17299087
I should start jogging again before it's too late.

>>17300749
Yeah but they were very likely also drugged out of their minds

>>17300263
For what do you envy them, for the disappointments they have inflicted on each other, or for something else?

>>17299165
I can't be comfy in it anymore now that I'm 30. It just leaves me feeling insecure. I come from a family of poverty and am barely scraping up into upper-middle-class society.
Meanwhile I'm reading about people born into unending wealth whose days are consumed with talking to similarly statused and powerful people, eating fine foods and engaging only in work that interests them.

>>17300822
Why are you insecure about people getting to be born noble? They are the most blatant example of sheer luck of the draw.

>>17300838
Because I wish that was me.

>>17300807
I envy their vitality, braveness and not need to question and doubt every single thing aka clarity. I do believe that every single person has its own problems but i end up being paralyzed.

>>17300263
How does FOMO translate to shame? The demands of others are immediately invalidated if they are shown to be ill-conceived. An absence of momentary pleasure in your life isn't inherently regrettable, and neither is it shameful. Shame is a social emotion you feel when you've acted inappropriately by breaking moral norms. Those who are looking to shame for sexlessness do it for status elevation. They uphold amoral norms for their own benefit, not necessarily to make you feel bad. If you are worried about being shamed, you should notice how shame differs from guilt, and how the absence of guilt makes shame go away. And if you really need sex for pleasure, why not hire a prostitute or be satisfied with porn?

>>17300083
based give, anon

I have been learning Polish for a year and I want to quit this godforsaken language but I was wondering if /lit/ could find any /lit/ reason to not give up and learn French or Jap instead. Is Polish poetry at least any good :(

>>17300865
You think the ordinary person has clarity? Do you also envy dogs?

>>17300916
My question is why would you begin learning a language that has nothing to offer you in the first place

>>17300927
i wanted to speak polish with my best friend and move in with him, and I ignored his warnings that it was a pointless language to learn and he didn't care. We fell out half a year ago and I was too proud to quit :(

Had to look up the definition of nescient, google didn't have to insult me for it.

>>17300263
If I am asked whether someone is good or bad, I have to look at whether they are wise, brave, temperate and just. A loving man who lives unvirtuously is a wretch; a virgin who lives virtuously a sage. If you barricade yourself in your room and are therefore unkissed, then I blame you, not because you are unkissed, but because you lack courage.

Should I watch the new Higurashi anime?
I've seen up to Kai or Kira.

>>17300865
I can understand that. I am in a similar situation, as an introverted, shy person with anxiety in social situations. I guess the first thing you have to do is accept everything you can't change (i.e. stop actively worrying about it). I can't do anything about my panic while it's happening, except bear it - it can't be wished away. But I can toughen myself up, I can talk myself into having the courage to go outside again and again - and even if my situation never improves, I'd be proud because I've done what I could, and I lived through the things I cannot change.

A second thing one should do is to distinguish between what is important and unimportant.

>>17300936
>wanted to speak polish with my best friend and move in with him
>move out with him
>We fell out half a year ago
fucking hell mate

I wish I could convince people to play gurps. Dammit, the filthy nerds in my area just want to play d&d or pathfinder. I used to play with two of my best friends but they are a nurse and a doctor and I havent seen them since march of last year. Fucking kungflu

>>17300892
It's not about getting hooker and be done with it but rather not being to achieve it on my own wits and courage. Yes, guilt is more appropriate than shame in my case.
>>17301003
>because you lack courage
That's the very case.
>>17300920
Sometimes it does appear so.
>>17301052
I did make peace with the fact that i missed teenage and youth love but doesnt stop me constantly comparing with others and then feeling inadequate in retreating from life in general.

>>17301220
>but doesnt stop me constantly comparing with others and then feeling inadequate in retreating from life in general.
but the thing is, what others do, good or bad, is none of your business; look at your own actions, that's more than enough. wallowing in self-pity is a kind of protection - in this case, a bad protection that keeps you from doing what's right. because what you have to do is gather your strength and take action - but by always looking at others and thinking about your own weakness compared to those people, you make the perfect excuse to stay inactive. going out, risking something, showing courage is tough; at the same time, our common sense tells us that we should do it, no matter how tough it is - but our weakness fights back tooth and nail. your view of others is a weapon of your weakness, with which it attacks your better side, your sensible side, the part of you that wants to improve and be happy.

if you really want to change, you have to narrow your field of vision to a small circle: what is my task at this moment? what do i have to do? to bear my fear, not to listen to doubts, but to do what is right, clear as daylight.

I think I will skip my national exam and not get into college. Don't feel like itis going to be abything good and I'll probably get this corona shit and kill my mother.

>>17299087
I have been getting back into anime lately and haven't touched a book in a month. I'm not sure how I feel about it, but I think I don't mind because I'm having fun.

I try - and especially in the presence of strangers or people I am just meeting - to be a good person, nice, friendly, fair, and hold myself to a high standard of behavior, and then end up feeling guilty, a little sociopathic, for “faking” it, for getting on good terms with people who think I am that way all the time and do not know my ugly side. Kind of insane question asks itself: is it sometimes unethical to be overtly pleasant and/or ethical?

I'm withdrawing in to myself. I don't want to hear the opinions of others and I don't want to voice my own. People are fucking stupid, including me. Social media and advertisements; all of this unnecessary noise everywhere. It's information overload, and it's rarely useful or positive information. I'm distancing myself from the internet bit by bit and I feel happier. I read, create artwork, do archery and play guitar. These are all so much more fulfilling than browsing the web. I miss the simpler times when the internet wasn't so entrenched in everyone's lives. I'm not really sure where I'm going with this post, but this is the central topic I've been ruminating on lately and trying to put in to action. The internet provides mental stimulation and I'm trying to replace it with hobbies instead. My level of introversion has shot up recently, not really sure why. I just want to be alone 95% of the time. I see my friends one day a week for games and it's enough. I'm not depressed. Maybe I'm just getting old. Whatever. Diarypost over.

>>17301302
i somewhat know what i should do at this exact moment but to be completely honest i'm too prideful (what a joke) to accept that i've been wasting time all this time.

>>17301337
Well, dying doesn't seem that bad anyway.

>>17299087
Really what am I supposed to do with the days? I have roughly 6 months of NEETing ahead of me and I'm already getting antsy. I've read 15 books since I graduated uni in mid-December and... it doesn't feel sustainable to read like 8 hours every day. Obviously I like having the time to read so much, but. Each day is completely identical:
>get up
>wash face off
>coffee
>browse 4chan/read/little bit of vidya
>eat
>browse 4chan/read/little bit of vidya
eat
>read
>duolingo
>read
>sleep
>repeat
Getting kind of bored brehs.

>>17301467
This post made me sad.
You're just filling time.
Do something productive, start a serious project. Don't simply entertain yourself. I would LOVE for 6 months of "free" time. Also, there is no such thing as free time.

>>17299087
I am a very silly man just like Perkyn Revlour! I get to do whatever I want and you gotta accept it. You're just some fat bitch titties loser not a handsome man like me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KB6DdaU66cI

I can say whatever the fuck I feel like to you and hundreds will see it and laugh at you.

>>17301497
Unironically a retard, why should I give two shits about it?

>>17301502
I get to do whatever I want. I give the orders. You're just a fat bitch titties man boobs loser and beneath me.

>>17301505
KEK unironically never read Stirner.

>>17301502
Rebby will slice your tiny nutsack ddown the middle and then cut your ears off if I give the ordder, bitch tittys.

>>17301472
I know I sound like a little bitch for complaining about 6 months of unhindered vacation. You're right, I really am just trying to keep myself busy with basically nonsense.

>>17301505
You won't even get to sit on my dick. Because I unironically don't care about you, anon. You are yet another retard. Grow up a bit.

>>17301508
Rebby says you're a fat retard looser just like ur dipshit daddy who is sukkin dick in Hell. Shes gonna cut your ears off and mkake them intoo a necklace.

>>17301515
You won't have any fun with me, anon. No rides, you can squirm all you want.

>>17301514
>>17301521

>that sound when you're trying to read

https://voca.ro/1eEjMiN3Q6OW

Fugk you mom

>>17301004
>mogged

>>17301444
if you are like me, your pride has the same origin as your envy and your feeling of inferiority. these things have been brought into being by yourself as reasons why you need not (or must not) try to leave your room. in other words: if you examine these feelings (envy, pride and so on), you will find that they are all created by your fear, and are created as a means of preventing you from being exposed to danger – the danger being: other people, the risk of being disliked.

but being liked or disliked is not your task. your task is being brave, and honest, and just. stop trying to control everyones reaction to you. reacting to you is what they have to do. being yourself, being honest, and loving and good, that is what you have to do – and as long as you keep your eyes on your own task, instead of other peoples task, you will take back control over your life. if i do what i consider to be the right the, it does not matter if the whole world is against me – thats my take.

you have to remove "being liked" from the center of your life and replace it with something good and beautiful.

you say: "i somewhat know what i should do" – so do it. that is all you will ever need to do: look at the task at hand, your task, not other peoples task, and do it. you are courageous – you just have realize it. all this "i have so much envy, and so much pride" is your fear trying to deceive you, because that is all it can do: deceive you. it cannot overpower you, it can only make you believe that you are weak. just close your ears, nigga. damn. good luck.

If I won the lottery I would rebuild a library in my hometown. There used to be one in a very rundown building and the town closed it down. It’s depressing to live in a town that can’t even afford a library for its residents.

>>17301637
fuck.
thanks for being so honest with me. i appreciate it.
you're right - first i have to face the final boss of my complexes which is eternal DOUBTING. i'm so afraid of choosing anything because of fear to miss what other side can offer that i end up with buridan's ass.

>>17301700
simp

>>17301700
I guess that's better than wasting it all on mansions, cars, whores and copious amounts of alcohol until it's all gone in a year or two.
If the town closed down the library, then chances are the residents didn't care.

>>17299087
started to notice a trend where if I'm with one other person our conversations usually end up as one-sided monologues where i'm taking up most of the time talking because the other person has never thought or read anything on the subject to engage with it. i only know one other person who shifts the conversation effortlessly and he's the only person who reads.
>inb4 autism
no this only happens when I'm in dialogue with one other person, if the group exceeds 2 then conversation is more distributed regardless of the persons involved.

>>17301513
>code
>trading
>graphic design
>glass work
>blog

learn a new skill. reading is a good past time but find something that initially causes you anxiety due to its depth then learn it bit by bit.

>>17301637
>you say: "i somewhat know what i should do" – so do it. that is all you will ever need to do: look at the task at hand, your task, not other peoples task, and do it. you are courageous – you just have realize it. all this "i have so much envy, and so much pride" is your fear trying to deceive you, because that is all it can do: deceive you. it cannot overpower you, it can only make you believe that you are weak. just close your ears, nigga. damn. good luck.
I feel similar to anon and I have to say that I agree with your posts, but in my particular case I just can't see myself getting over this fear, I've let it take complete control of me. It's not that I think that I'm incapable of doing the things I want to do, I know I can, my body works, I'm sure it can do those things, but the fear of failure, rejection, etc., is just too much. I can't fight it.

Or maybe it would be better to say that I don't want to fight it, I could take action to try and fight it, but I don't feel like it, I don't have any motivation to do it, I'd rather be like this, it's more comfortable. I might not like my current situation but deep down I think this is how I want to live, paralyzed by fear.

doo dee dee doo dee dee doo dee dee doo dee dee doo dee dee bum bum dee dee doo dee dee doo dee dee doo dee dee doo dee dee bum bum

>>17302135
based

>>17301955
>blog
I already post here :)

>>17299087
I think I broke my wrist again. Problem is, I have a high pain-threshold, so it's not like I can go on that. It hurts, but not like hurt hurts. It feels like last time, but I don't even know what I did. I don't feel like going to the doctors at all. Right now I'm just wearing a brace, but goddammit. My whole body is just falling apart.

>>17302105
>I'd rather be like this
>it's more comfortable
>deep down I think this is how I want to live, paralyzed by fear
working on yourself is like swallowing bitter medicine. now, if locking ourselves in is something like a disease, and "getting out of our room" is like a bitter medicine, then we should swallow the medicine, shouldn't we? that's common sense – and any objections that prevent us from doing so should be regarded as childish, since a child only wants to swallow sweet medicine, as it does not yet understand that something bitter can lead to something good.

when you say "deep down I think this is how I want to live", that's your childish side talking. and your adult side thinks up all kinds of reasons to support your childish side - otherwise you would have to realise how ill you really are, and that you can only heal yourself if you take responsibility, but that means going out into the world, putting yourself in "danger", that is, what appears to a child's eye as danger: other people, demands, surprises.

you are an adult, yet still a child. that's how it is for everyone. after all, where should the child we once were have disappeared to (wasn't that how the quote went?). if we bury ourselves, then we only live out our childish side, then we are only half people: we abandon our adult side. you know the people who never dig themselves out of their hole. do you want to become like them? no way bro. you want to change, i can hear it in your words - so let's go!

>>17302468
Go see a doctor, if it heals without being properly set it can cause you bigger problems.

As much as self help books are garbage I've been doing the deep work thing and it works tbqh senpai

>>17302634
which one did you read?

I for one can't wait to see what a whole generation of people, raised by single, thot, onlyfans using moms, would look like.

ok, it's not the best OP, but I wonder why this would get banned among all the shitposts on here

>>17299807
I feel like this is true also. Most asians have fucking ugly feet or really nice feet, there's no in-between

All my friends are succeeding and I'm still thinking about killing myself. I just have no idea anymore. I look at my history and I know why I am the way am. but it gives no reprieve.
>My dad was an alcoholic who completely ruined me and my sister. The anxiety he created for me broke me.
>went deaf as a baby spent 5 years with a speech therapist
>had to start going to psychologist in 3rd grade because I was unable to function at all in school environment.
>the psychologist I got, was later discovered to be a child molester. he more than likely molested me or atleast felt me up. But I had no defence as I could barely talk
>was okay for a years but then completely broke down in highschool. Crying every single day
>have been heavily medicated ever since. I literally cannot go more than a day without meds otherwise I stop functioning
And through all this I know it doesn't matter. It doesnt change anything.

Now I think i'm gonna give up on being a crazy successful person. I just want to help people. Being a carer of some sort might give me peace.

>>17302888
>I just want to help people. Being a carer of some sort might give me peace.
have you thought about becoming social worker?
sorry that you had to go through this.

It will be interesting to see how the inauguration goes down and if the MAGA rebels will continue their mutinies. It would be a bold move indeed. DC has been turned into a fortress of barbed wire fences, road blocks, and armed military guards. A electric air of ominousness shrouds the city. It would take a rare kind of bravery, or an equivalent kind of stupidity, to go charging headlong into that wall of steel.

>>17302915
>have you thought about becoming social worker?
what do they do? I'm scared I dont have what it takes to see what they face. or is the job chill?

>>17302932
i guess it depends on country but that would involve dealing with people like your dad.

>>17300936
Look up sunk-cost fallacy

>>17302501
The child comparison is good, I personally think I'm a gigantic manchild, I think I stopped maturing mentally at like 12 years old, if not earlier.

>you are an adult, yet still a child. that's how it is for everyone. after all, where should the child we once were have disappeared to (wasn't that how the quote went?). if we bury ourselves, then we only live out our childish side, then we are only half people: we abandon our adult side. you know the people who never dig themselves out of their hole. do you want to become like them? no way bro. you want to change, i can hear it in your words - so let's go!
I just don't see it, I don't have it in me, if I wanted to change I'd already have started it, I'm not doing anything, I'm just here, complaining, looking for pity and attention.

Anyway, thanks for trying anon, I can see you're a good person.

I love rape

>>17303603
I love grapes* is what I meant to write.

Fuck that came out really really wrong. Sorry guys.

>>17299087
why was part of Anne franks diary written with a ball point pen when does didn't even exist when she was alive?

>>17303621
Are you the grapist?

>>17303644
Just quoting a post that refuted this better than I could.

"So what’s the source for this? Of course none is provided in the image, but a search reveals it to be taken from a website that cites Ditlieb Felderer as the source.

Felderer is an interesting character. It would be wrong to say he has been discredited as, well, he doesn’t seem to have ever been credited. His book in which he attempts to expose the diary, Diary of Anne Frank- A Hoax? is a bizarre, rambling and at times sickening publication that does more to probe in Felderer’s own mind than the diary itself. He goes into strange detail about Jews and sexuality. And since it was published, his claims have been discredited by actual academics. It is not, to be succinct, a valid source.

But to take on this point about the ballpoint pen anyway, as it is frequently repeated. The BKA report – which consisted of just four pages – reported everything matter-of-factly. Yes – there were ballpoint pen markings in the diary. These had in fact been written in the 1960’s by a woman carrying out graphological investigations into it. [1]

The other ballpoint amendments were page numbers written onto the sheets and some minor corrections. All ballpoint amendments differ dramatically from Anne’s handwriting, as was confirmed later. The West German police had also reported that ’emendations’ and ‘corrections’ were made to some of the pages of Anne’s diary.[2] This was also correct. Anne went over her own work as she believed that one day it may be published."

>https://onlineonly.christies.com/s/selections-library-mr-mrs-john-h-gutfreund-834-fifth-avenue/lots/1827

The personal library of the former CEO of Salomon Brothers is currently up for auction right now taking bids online only. Some very rare and patrician tomes to be had. What lots will Anon be bidding on?

>>17303300
soon you will take the first small step, perhaps tomorrow, and if not tomorrow, in the near future, and even if only in the distant future, it will be soon enough. pythagoras divides the course of life like this: twenty years a boy, twenty years a youth, twenty years a young man, twenty years an old man – however, he also said that we should "abstain from beans because they are flatulent and partake most of the breath of life; and besides, it is better for the stomach if they are not taken, and this again will make our dreams in sleep smooth and untroubled." make of it what you will.

>>17299087
footfags are mentally ill, that's what's on my mind
seek help

>>17301351
watch LOGH, it's better than many fiction books

tfw you realize your rabid desire for a gf is just a cope to avoid having to learn to love yourself

>>17304118
You are probably fine, anon. Most people are full of shit, then looking at oneself might be disturbing.

>>17299087
イマジン・ザー・スメル

>>17304226
KEK to porn hub you go

>>17302825
Deep work

>>17304399
That one definitely sucks. Try Eat That Frog by Brian Tracy. When I feel lazy and can't get started on anything, I go for a walk and listen to that audiobook. It's not going to blow your mind, but most times you don't need your mind to be blown to get some work done.

Also, a great career advice one is Stealing The Corner Office by Brenden Reid. If you actually have a job with any kind of career path, I recommend it. It starts off commiserating with the reader about how lame sleazy jerks always get the promotions, but then slowly turns the tables and has you cringing at yourself when you realized how you fucked up.

>>17304602
>That one definitely sucks
Oh sorry i didn't read the whole thread, I thought you were one of those guys who thinks he's too effective for self-help books. Didn't mean to shit on Deep Work if it works for you, but personally, I don't remember anything actionable from it.

>>17301634
Yes

>>17299087
Today I baked a cake, also my sleep schedule is getting better and I want to read and work out more. It seems, for now at least I may be able to get back on track, like Giuseppe Baldini, I for once feel everything is going to be just fine, now the only thing to see is if my house while I sleep. I also realized I take so many things for granted, like my parents being with me, or my family, and that I need to be better everyday to face the challenges life throws at me, and that cowering at what is to come is useless, you need to be sure you can face it, and defeat it. Have a good day anons.

>>17302888
My ex gf's life was a very sad story similar to this including the deafness. I'm sorry anon.

>>17303839
this is definitely what id spend money on if i had the wealth.

>>17299788
what the fuck is a kv?

asuka is cute

>>17301700
Based.
>>17301796
Cringe.

how the fuck do you announce a breakup when you're currently hundreds of miles away from her ? maybe i should just hold it off until we meet up and lay it all out face to face. i don't know.
can't even focus on finishing krasznahorkai bullshit.

I have a test tomorrow, anons; Going to write an essay. This is my prayer to the muses to give me inspiration so I don't fuck it up again. Tried everything else, but there are still the muses. KEK I'm fucking desperate.

>>17301374
I think everyone acts a little nicer than they really are. Or at least a majority of people. This is essentially what virtue signaling is, just taken above the personal level and demonstrated on a societal level

>>17306036
I think it means that you are actually 'trying'

>>17301906
>started to notice a trend where if I'm with one other person our conversations usually end up as one-sided monologues where i'm taking up most of the time talking because the other person has never thought or read anything on the subject to engage with it. i only know one other person who shifts the conversation effortlessly and he's the only person who reads.
>no this only happens when I'm in dialogue with one other person, if the group exceeds 2 then conversation is more distributed regardless of the persons involved.
Yeah that’s still kind of autism. Part of relating to other people is finding topics that they are interested in and know something about and can contribute to the conversation. I could choose to discuss all sorts of topics that are esoteric and the other person does not know anything about. I imagine that would not be fulfilling for me or for the other person. What makes you think that choosing topic about which the other person knows nothing is normal social behaviour and anything except autism?

>>17299087
I'm a millennial trans person, and the trans people in the generation younger than me are incredibly horrible people; catty, conformists, rotten, hateful. Trying to lure me into killing myself even more than /pol/acks.

I see nothing of value in them, they can't produce the types of art in terms of music or writing that the older generations do. None of the suffering we've gone through, but all the bitterness. I don't relate to them at all.

You might be surprised to hear this, but there is no transgender "community' in the words of M. Thatcher. Honestly, it's more hostile to trans people than the outside community

>want to play vidya on my offday, drink too much before and literally can't play
anyone else do this?

>>17306187
same but the more I think about it both drinking and gaming piss me the fuck off so I'm gonna attempt to do away with both

>>17306036
I'd argue that people's actions are more important than their intent

Made out with a girl last night

>>17301220
that appearance of clarity is but blind luck underneath

We broke up three weeks ago. It’s mostly my fault. Why didn’t I appreciate what I had? Why was I such a piece of shit?

I’ve felt fucking terrible for three weeks. Today at least I smiled a bit. I guess I should appreciate what I have now. It could be so much worse still. But god do I miss her.

>>17299087
My friends stopped talking to me a few months back. I didn't see them often, but it still sucks knowing that I'm completely alone now. Spend my days in almost total social isolation, save for the random small talk with people I share a kitchen with and cashiers. It's a very strange feeling. walking around town I feel like an observer, like a tourist. I find myself thinking about how I am but a background character in the lives of everyone who sees me. the sense of atomization is incredibly strange.

Reading up on Jonestown. Weird that people never mention how well-connected Jim was. If he didn't have people like Jerry Brown vouching for him, there's probably no way he would've gotten away with that shit.

>>17306762
>leftist utopian project ends in mass death scenario

many such cases

hm girlfriend wasn't happy that I broke up with her

liberals are absolutely irredeemable

>>17300491
do they turn you down even after getting to that point?

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bU_GuU8Ow4

some guy recommend a book by this guy's brother, it looked sort of good but probably pretentious and too obscure for used copies to be cheap, but when i was skimming his wiki i saw this dude was his brother and i must say this shit p comfy

>>17306158
dilate and join the 40%

got a test tomorrow and i can't sleep

>>17307522
why so spiteful?

>>17306956
Wonder why

>>17299087 (OP)
FUCK
NIGGERS
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AMERICA, WHITEWOMEN, DESTORYING
FUCKKKKKKKKKKK

I’m reading Fear and Trembling. Kierkegaard writes in a very lovely way.

what is fucking wrong with me

>>17305560
Urban Dictionary says kissless virgin.

>>17307648
Explain

https://youtu.be/jNoIP-HTtR4

>wake up with vigor, clarity of mind, energy, freshness—prepared and motivated to study the ancient and sacred texts
>sit on couch, watch cutsie moe anime, eat food to bloated discomfort
>headphones on, blast One Direction music, run around in circles daydreaming (I told myself the day prior I’d give up using my imagination. I also said that the day before that one. I also said that many many years prior)
>3. hours. pass. by.
>all energy gone
Lads......

>>17307696
I never manage to sleep well before an important exam, anon. There is always some shit.

>>17307707
same except I don't listen to one direction

>>17307696
But whatever, I'm drinking some coffee and doing it as always.

>>17307696
But bothers me that I always have to do it like that.

i hate this shit

>>17307793
and it is not like I'm too fucking old for it

>>17307800
I'm not*

i have friends and family that care about me but i just want her more than anything else. i can barely even eat

>>17307809
tell us about HER

>>17307809
Kill that part of yourself, anon. And get back to living and doing shit.

>>17307809
Kil it before it kills you.

The sermon on "sexual energy" made me feel funny. It's cute when he says it aloud and the whole parish goes uncomfortably silent

How the hell do I stop daydreaming? Reading this passage (On Cleaving to God) has made me realize the dread of having spent 70% of my cushy comfortable life walking in circles daydreaming. Porn or something you can ditch on the sly...but delighting in your imagination by conjuring something innocent like an adventure hike in the woods....I almost feel like that’s worse than porn. Just using your imagination to replace doing anything in reality. Even totally innocent things. The doctrine against sexual thoughts is only the beginning. It’s thoughts in general. It’s pointless imagination in general. Aquinas put imagination as a sensuous bodily faculty of the soul whereas something like reason is fully immaterial. My daydreams don’t use reason. They are a pleasurable coping mechanism of withdrawal not an arduous exercise of the mind like acts of the intellect. I NEED TO STOP DAYDREAMING I NEED TO LIVE IN REALITY NOT IN MY HEAD

>>17307850
continuation of quote

>>17307811
she's attractive, intelligent, kind, artistic, well read, and we have a lot in common. i've known her for a long time and always wanted to go out with her but never told her. we used to talk a lot back in hs and were pretty good friends

i hadnt seen her in a few years then she messaged me one day asking how i was doing, so then we were talking for a bit and it was going well. we talked about books and school and life in general.

then i got distracted by work and had a bunch of anxiety attacks so i didnt text her for like 10 days and she ghosted me after that so i think its done (this was a few weeks ago). i told her i was sorry for taking so long and that i had a lot of stuff going on, then i answered her questions from the last text.

i think that messed it up. before that things were fine. maybe i can still message her but it'd feel awkward. idk how to restart the conversation. i want to ask her out but the covid lockdowns make it difficult.

>>17307832
>>17307827
i did go out with friends the other day, made me feel a bit better but not that much.

i just cant stop kicking myself over this. i feel like i ruined it by overthinking shit and blowing her off, and that was preventable. or maybe its nothing. maybe she was never interested at all. i dont know anymore. i cant stop thinking about it

I hope I die in a car accident today.

>>17307930
To keep a girl around you have to provide her with constant attention. It's just how it is.

>>17307930
>you ignore girl
>think nothing of it
>girl ignores you
>you get upset

Lol theres your problem. You didn't consider her feelings. Men need to get out of their own heads sometimes

>>17307936
Me too brother.

>>17307980
>>17307956
i guess youre right. whatever, i was a fool to think anything would come of it anyway so i deserve my fate

feels like fucking dying

>>17307936
I wish you would respect yourself more and hope for a more peaceful death.

I am incapable of visualizing myself in a romantic context. I've given up on the possibility of experiencing romantic connections or love

>>17308061
i've given up on the possibility of having a full time job. either i keep slackin' it up part time till i croak, or some side project gains traction and it becomes a business that can support me, but spamming out resumes and then talking a bunch of smug techbros and indians into hiring me is just not going to happen. every time i see someone that i know for a fact sucks at coding getting some upper income job pisses me off, but it's sort of like when some guy who doesn't even work out has a hot gf. whatever. there's nothing you can do about it.

>A naked maniac shoved a man off of a Harlem subway platform Saturday, but then also jumped down and zapped himself to death on the third rail during a crazed, on-the-tracks scuffle with a good Samaritan, police said.

what the FUCK is de Blasio doing?

>>17308061
same desu but at the same time I know it's not out of my reach if I just put in the slightest effort

>>17308115
The whole world will be this soon. It's called anarcho-tyranny. They turn the bottom layer of society into a bubbling broth of chaos, mistrust, fear, distractions big and small, just a never ending living nightmare for people who don't have the excess wealth to go to some enclave. Most people adjust and become perfectly happy depth grovellers, they become part of the muck itself, helping to drag down anyone who by chance hasn't yet succumbed.

Then they blame the muck for its muckiness and justify their distance from it, which has now become permanent. Then history is truly at an end. A permanent wealthy elite overclass, drawn from today's nouveau riche coastal elites and McMansion dwellers, the kinds of rich Americans who fly home for holidays and special occasions 10 times a year and never sweat the cost, the kinds of rich people who eat with their mouths open, the new aristocracy of trash with rich fathers, whose idea of extravagance is the same consumer slop filth as the poor people get but tackily gold-plated and with more leisure time during the day to consume it instead of having to stand around in the Verizon store to afford bad unhealthy food and lead-laced tapwater.

Rich proles genetically modifying themselves on permanent vacation while all of your descendants are reduced to the level of drudgery and degradation now occupied by nail salon technicians, your great grandkids toiling at the literal feet of some future daughter of a daughter of a middling tech guru who genetically removed all her cancer genes and the genes for bad skin so she will live to 100 while your gobloid slave offspring will live to 45 and have gray skin and be perfectly accustomed to casual cruelty, random acts of violence, skinheads and crackheads throwing eachother in front of subway trains. The only thing that will change is they'll make the fentanyl better, so you can stay addicted to it for life and the state supplies it at an affordable rate.

>>17308170
Im not sure it's that sinister. I think what happened was de Blasio took $850 million out of the budget for mental health and let his wife manage it even though she has no experience or qualifications for such a responsibility, and now the money has disappeared and no one can account for it. That leaves the insane of NYC to run amok throughout the city with no one to help them except for the NYPD who needless to say do not take the same approach to their care as a mental health professional might.

I feel like I view 90% of the people barely above cattles

This includes this website

I love the smell of my body especially the pits and balls.

Yesterday I drank too much and told my friends that I'm suicidal for years. I have the worst hangover ever. I will jump out of that window soon. This is hell.

Now it is almosttime, anons.

>>17308861
Don't give up, anon.

>>17303945
Will do somewhere down the line, but 110 episodes right now seems like a big commitment.

>>17308861
Drinking isn't a good thing when you are feeling like shit, anon. Neither are other drugs. Get help, like professional help.

So I just finished reading The Devil All the Time. It was enjoyable, and held my interest. It had some good scenes and moments. Perhaps most notably, the characters felt vivid, distinctive, and alive.

But I wonder if, as a whole, the book amounts to anything more than a kind of Southern gothic burlesque show.

I failed to detect much in the way of depth that, e.g., Flannery O'Connor brings to her works that have at least a note of 'Southern gothic burlesque' (Wise Blood, in particular, comes to mind), but, by dint of her larger spiritual perspective, go much deeper than that.

The quality of the book aside, I might add that the author, Daniel Ray Pollock, is an interesting character in being a decidedly late bloomer wrt writing, having taken it up at around the age of 45, and published his first work in his 50s.

>I had a problem with drinking and - for a number of years. And, you know, it was one of those fantasies that, you know, when you got half-loaded and, you know, you started daydreaming or whatever, it was one of those things that you thought about - or I thought about. But it wasn't really - you know, I went to school when I was in my 30s. I went to college. I went to Ohio University, and I ended up with a degree in English. And, you know, even while I was there, though, I wasn't thinking about being a writer. I never took any writing workshops or anything like that.

>But then finally, when I was 45, my dad retired from the paper mill. And there was just something about watching him retire and go home. And, you know, that was, you know, pretty much the end of his career. And it really bothered me, and I just decided I had to try something else, you know, some other way to spend the rest of my life.

>You know, I didn't know any writers or anything. And for a while, I just sort of scribbled and struggled. And then I read an interview with a writer, and I can't recall her name now. I know it was a lady. But she talked about typing out other people's stories as a means of maybe getting closer to them or just learning how to put a story together. And so I started doing that.

> I typed out a lot of different stories I was typing out a story at least once a week. And that went on for about a year and a half. So John Cheever, Hemingway, Flannery O'Connor, Richard Yates, Denis Johnson - you know, the list just goes on and on. If it was a story that I really liked and it wasn't overly long, I'd type it out. And then I'd carry it around with me for a week and, you know, look it over and, you know, jot notes on it and stuff like that. And then I'd throw it away and do another one. Typing a story out just was a much better way for me to see how, you know, a person puts dialogue together or, you know, moves from one scene to the next, that sort of thing.

The saddest part of reaching certain age is not getting old and frail yourself, but the fact that everything and everyone you associated with the innocent years of your childhood, either directly or through popular media, is dead or so fucking old they will be soon dead anyway, and you cannot adjust anymore to new things like you used to be able to. All you have left are pictures and recordings, echoes of past.

>>17309583
I disagree. When you can't enjoy new things anymore you likely have depression. It's not primarily getting old. It's true that there is not this magic like when you were a child. But life isn't magical. You have to relearn to enjoy things again on a more rational level and relearn to let yourself go in a way to get this sense of immersion again.

>>17309684
I'm not talking about not enjoying new things at all, I do find pleasure in some of the modern music, anime and tv shows. But it takes so much more effort to keep track with technological advancement and most of what people these days go gaga over just doesn't stroke me the same way, leaving a feeling of not belonging to the group.

>>17307707
One recalls this remark from a certain story:
>“She would have been a good woman,” The Misfit said, “if it had been somebody there to shoot her every minute of her life.”

How do I be more confident? Is confidence even real? Should I just treat it all like a joke?

>>17307850
>How the hell do I stop daydreaming?

Seems to me I read some advice on this subject somewhere. Oh, yeah. Pic related.

Seems to me that God is, indirectly, by dint of the unhappiness produced by your lack of discipline, calling you to a life of greater discipline, perhaps beginning with discipline in your spiritual/prayer life.

>>17309733
Why would you care about what the mainstream likes? When I open /v/there are almost no threads to read for me because I don't know what they are about. I don't mind though. Who gives a fuck about what zoomers consume. You're in /lit/ so you should have read works from Dostojewski for example. Those are timeless. What releases nowadays is not worth a dime for that matter. It will be forgotten next year. So why care? You belong here if you feel the way you described it. Isn't that worth something?

>>17309771
confident in what?

>read about poverty in india
>damn that's awful, the world sucks
>remember it would have been even worse a hundred years ago
>remember a hundred years before that the average Westerner didn't live much better
as pinker right?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klG6pnrYYIw
morning shoegaze

>>17310238
In general. How do I carry myself better?

>>17310271
Do you like yourself?

is the sexual appeal of breasts inherently related to mothering and the desire to be mothered?

All i want in life is already out of reach. What now?

Best sex position is the girl on her back, feet on your face/shoulders, and you in her pusy.

I never had sex by the way.

My brother's lizard died, seemed to be from the salad it ate. We were all annoyed when he got it, but now it actually hurts to hear about the poor thing breathing its last on my brother's hands.

>read a book
>mark it as read on goodreads
>decide to take a quick peak on reviews
>it's 3/5
>"i basically agree with author but he's a white male so he's privileged"
>its a white woman
i dont get it

>>17310271
Stick out your chest. Sit up straight but relaxed. Keep your voice box relaxed too. Say what you think, not what you think you have to say. If your real opinions are met with distaste, accept it and try to smooth the waters (without backing down from your convictions). Later, when you have time, reflect on why your opinion has aroused dislike and whether you were being unreasonable. Don't look at the other person as an enemy, but as a partner. Be helpful to others and seldom ask for help. And so on. You know the drill. Pick a person who you admire and start acting like him. Don't overdo it. Expand your repertoire step by step. An actor must learn to play a calm and self-confident character, even if he himself has stage fright. This is called the courage of the actor. When we change, we first play a different person, the one we want to become.

>>17304841

so much stuff happened
I overextended myself
I just want to post, I don't really want to say anything. I have a couple of days to recooperate.

>>17310505
which book?

>>17311018
escape from freedom

This site really does suck.

Coming out of a low. Can feel it. Getting better at feeling the comings and goings of the highs and lows. Doesn't feel like the end of the world anymore, or at least not for that long. Must stop pretending that there's a way for me to drink and not have it colonise every free neuron in my body if I give it time. I'm a drunk even when I'm not "acting like one." Too many like me above me in the family tree to risk it. It's the hardest thing there is in life. Straight and narrow or ya soul gets cast. Goodnight!

aaaah I can't come up with a research question for my paper. It has to be on Scottish English and analytical. My professor didn't like my first proposal and I've been frantically searching for an alternative, but whenever I think I finally got something, like today when I thought I'd write about dialect levelling, I can't find sufficient research on it or it's descriptive instead of analytical.

>>17306158
>there is no transgender "community'
yeah, no shit. neither is there a gay community, black community or any kind of community on a societal scale really, the word community as used in popculture and the media is a meaningless bullshit term mainly used for blatant propaganda purposes

>>17307850
>>17307862
fuck this autistic trash. the imagination is one of our greatest gifts, and the thing that enables any and all creativity in human beings. the intellect leads to God? don't make me laugh

>>17299087
It's all so tiresome

>>17299352
¿Qué te ha hecho despertar hoy en la mar tormentosa non?

>>17307534
not him but tI see no hope

>>17310390
>never had sex by the way.
lost

Moderators should make my posts bigger, which are more important than other post, and I am a more important person. That would help them to pay attention to what I write.

>>17312087
lost

Every time I look at /gif/ on this site it's a vivid reminder how fucked up sexuality in 2021 has become

>>17301114
you knoe when you are afraid you will die alone so you spend a couple of days trying to bond with someone you have middling at best chemistry with, and then you come away from it and it wasn't awful but it sure was a drain trying to force this bond? that's how I feel. Sharing a sense of humor has to be at least 40% of a human relationship.

The cycle of hype and outrage that surrounds modern pop culture is really fucking weird. You'd think that constant big-name disappointments like Cyberpunk 2077, the new Star Wars movies, and the new Star Trek TV shows would convince people to abandon "nerd culture," but instead they do the opposite and create an environment where fans compete to see who can be the most fanatically outraged nerd over the latest disappointing product. It's a transparently obvious coping mechanism, these people just can't imagine a life that doesn't revolve around the decisions of some Hollywood exec or video game marketer. Not only do they fall for the entertainment industry's constant manipulation, but they identify themselves with it. They realize that being a fan of this stuff is a losing bet, so they re-style themselves as "critics" or "industry watchdogs" and carry on doing the exact same thing as before. Meanwhile, the people selling them this crap are laughing all the way to the bank. It's ironically a pretty "cyberpunk" situation.

>>17312611
>>17301114
accidental (You), use it responsibly

>>17312622
this is beautiful, thank you

>>17312622
yeah, it just never ceases to amaze me that there are people who like things that i don't like. just makes me so despondent. we truly live in a society.

No one has ever called me, so why do I still wait for one?

If it does come down to a revolution sooner or later, I'll shoot the crypto finance coaches first.

>>17312758
Why is he wearing his sister's blouse?

>>17312758
this is a completely hypothetical one. pls do not put me on the list cia man.

>>17312764
it is. the comments are full of those. I hate this stupid fucking community so much. It's just completely impossible to trust any source when you're starting out new.
I even set up a reddit account and asked for beginner advice on r/cryptocurrency, and I immediately got bombarded with pm's sending me all types of ref links and "here's how I started" guides. /biz/ faggots are a disease

>>17312753
you still hope that someone will validate your existance as a human being. its better to be hated than completely forgotten.

>>17312794
I think pretty soon you'll be able to buy crypto from mainstream places like paypal or your stock broker. if you want to know the technical aspects of crypto just read the original satoshi paper, all the rest of them are just variations on that. also, read about how crypto can be deanonymized before you do anything sketch with it, haha. personally, i think it is overrated since you could have better returns from the stock market, or use leverage from a bank to buy real property.

>>17299768
>how do you reconcile Baudrillard's idea of the simulacra
You would find this much easier if you read Baudrillard and therefore could tell when to apply his terms and when using them would make you look like a retard who doesn't read.

>>17312928
the concept of crypto is kinda wild to me since it does seem like just a virtual "currency" whose value is determined by speculative investment. It doesn't seem to have any effect on the real world whatsoever (aside from being able to trade btc anonymously without a third party).
What's the point of all of this? Is it all just a get-rich-quick scheme? It sure does look like that. I'm trying to nail down the political and ideological background of crypto but it just doesn't click.

>>17312741
Bitch, you people don't even like what you claim to like.

>>17302105
>know I can, my body works, I'm sure it can do those things, but the fear of failure, rejection
Not him but the concept he's talking about is grandiosity. So long as you don't try you can keep telling yourself "I know I can..." The reason why you don't is because you suspect you are liar. You don't want to find out you can't, or that you'll have to try repeatedly to be within reach of being able to say with confidence you can. You're terrified of earning it over lying about it, because the idea of achievements not being handed to you, and the fact you- like everyone- else has to do some work and fail occasionally to achieve anything of worth, are what you're actually afraid of. You hate those people because you're disregarding work from their achievements- it seems wrong they have done what you don't because it would be much easier to believe they do as little as you do and that the universe has granted another layabout status while you got none. There's an old joke about this: Every man is self-made, but only the successful admit it.

>>17303839
Does it have Liar's Poker?

i messed up on my essay, anons. But I think it will end up working out.

Now should I go bugman and follow a tech career?

>>17312622
I was thinking about this exact thing, anon. Though my concern was less from a consumer perspective and more of a productive side. When you think about it, the game industry itself is pretty strange. This product failed to reach completion, and tons of people are angry about it, but who can we blame? Modern video games are seriously mind-boggling in scope, yet if you fail to have it all in order you'll get thrashed by the public. Games now demand so much from their pure size that artistic aspirations are almost out of the question, since it's enough work to (a) get them out of the door in good shape, and (b) make sure they're profitable (no guarantee at all). The art of game development then is less an artistic technique than a managerial technique, with incredible stakes. You could sweat your ass off for months in crunch time, do great work, and still lose your job because the public hated your game. It's cruel.

My mind goes back to series like Silent Hill in these cases where the process seemed to work itself out beautifully. It is no coincidence that the most critically acclaimed game teams ever (Team Silent, early Id Software) had less than a dozen people and plenty of autonomy. The conditions of game design and the market built around it preempt what you can do with the medium. My thoughts on this aren't fully formed, and I'm not even that into games, but I may write an essay on this since the topic practically begs for it.

>>17313143
It used to be my last resort, but Im fucking 31 now.

>>17312992
i think right now people are expecting inflation from all the crazy government spending on covid, and if you look at the gold spot price you can see more or less the same spike.

sylvia plath's diary is better than mine. i could have been a millionaire but i'm not and now i have to wake up in 5 hours for work.

>>17313159
have you always been geeky like you know how tcp/ip stack works and have done some coding or are you starting from total chud? if you've always been geeky and but degree in something artsy, then just do a bootcamp and put some public code on github.

>>17313187
I use emacs, anon. My emacs config file is more than a 1000 lines long. I'm not a really good programmer, but I can probably get reasonably good at it.

>>17313213
>I'm not a really good programmer, but I can probably get reasonably good at it.
I'm quite a senior dev that's been around for a while. Most programmers are by and large horrendous at what they do. Most people have the assumption that they need to be good to get employed, but it's entirely not true.

This is not a good thing because the field is filled with incompetents, but it's a reality. If you can write emacs Lisp you're already better than most.

Girls’ tummies. Sometimes they peeked out of the bottom of their shirts, and he didn’t just like to see that but more than that he liked to imagine himself looking at it, how she might want to hide it, how she might be embarrassed by it, a fat tummy, a little soft pudgy tummy, the shirt failing to hide it, she failing herself, he catching a glimpse, she noticing him, she blushing and turning her face, he opening his mouth a bit, everybody continuing on and working at their desks and nobody notices but he and she.

>>17313213
Then go for it. The thing is though, don't let evangelists for obscure supposedly hip tech talk you into investing time into their shit if you want a job. Go on LinkedIn and compare the job listings for boring old Java versus idk Rust or Scala. I only say that because if you got talked into using Emacs for writing fiction, then you might susceptible to being influenced by those kind of tech evangelists. Keep you tech stack boring and mainstream if an entry level job is the goal.

sometimes my heart is closed. I go through the religious rituals but feel nothing. I try to think of what it is I am saying and doing, but there is just no response in me. I think the genius of ritualising it is that you end up keeping it up even through these periods, and then one day it comes back to you because you were there waiting for it. I hope so, but it has every time so far. I think I just have to empty my head, there's too much clutter.

>>17313257
Oh no. I use it mainly because of org-mode. Ended up looking at a lot of different stuff, and org-mode was what I was looking for.

He saw a few cows, some in a crowd, one all alone. It had black ears, and twitched them when the wind moved faster. He twitched his own nose. The cow looked back at him. Its eye was a half moon and a dark night. He remembered years ago, a small kid, him, knowing that cows say “moo.” This cow said nothing. They both stood in the grass. The cow said nothing. Cows fart too. They fart a lot. He remembered learning that. What if a girl behaved like a cow? Her eyes looked like half moons and a dark night. She had black hair. He thought she might say “moo.” She said nothing. She farted a lot. They both stood in the grass. She said nothing.

I finally had a lucid dream, but quickly realized a dream I was in full control of wasn't interesting because I would obviously know exactly what was going to happen, so I woke myself up instead.

>>17311818
>the imagination is one of the greatest gifts
Exactly why it’s a bad thing to misuse it. Daydreaming is a grave misuse of it. It’s supposed to be used for schemata and to supplement the reason. Not walk around in circles coping with it

>>17310258
Read Ted and stfu.

full of quirk

I hate when productivity people try to sell the average wage-slaving normie on time-blocking, or other productivity "hacks" without recognizing that there is a fundamental disconnect between the entrepreneur and the wage slave. One is in control of their time, the other is not. One is working for a wage, the other for a big payoff. Of what use is time-blocking if your job is to do the same tasks day in day out?

t. recently read cal newports deepwork, and his blog and realized none of it is geared toward people like me.

>>17313424
My head hurts, anons.

>>17313448
Because of my post? why?

>>17310258
your suppositions are incorrect, as is pinker (about everything)

>>17313424
I just go for the old to-do list. I get the annoying stuff (work, shopping, cleaning) out of the way first and then the fun, loose stuff (writing, entertainment, 4chan) can come after. I start getting ready for bed about two hours before I actually go to sleep, and then everything is prepared for tomorrow and I can read or watch a movie until I'm too tired to continue. Will this make me a millionaire? No, but when I keep my days like this I'm very happy and enjoy life.

>>17313477
Reminded me of a question I had to do in a long exam I just finished.

I think I'm fucking semi-literate in my native language. Book for this feel?

>>17313641
I'm unironically hopeless. I'll never learn this shit.

>>17299352
Jajajaj

>>17313355
you're british right? seems a british kind of sensibility

>>17299087
This hooker I've been going to for the whole quarantine wants to move in with me and stop being an escort girl because she says she really likes me and we have so much in common and I'm so sweet to her and she doesn't want to be an escort forever. But desu I only go to her because she looks just like my ex girlfriend. I think I might do it, but I don't know if it'll actually make me any happier.

>>17313733
No, I am sadly a fucking leaf.

>>17313751
sounds very /lit/, you should do it

>>17313424
Do you realize the vast majority of middle class jobs are more or less self-directed? Not everyone works at Walmart.

>>17313820
I'm very much thinking about it, I definitely have enough money to take care of both of us and she's young enough that if I do go through I'll help her go back to school. But I'm just not sure how much I trust her, like how can I trust anything that's she's ever said to me if I'm literally paying her to like me, you know? She's felt so much different than other random escorts I've seen. Even our first time together felt a lot different than any paid sex I'd ever had, but even still, maybe she's just a really really good whore. Can't shake that feeling.

>>17313945
This might sound reasonably evil, but test her, anon.

>>17313945
Sounds like you are just projecting and you don't really like her. But if you are willing to try anyway, test if you can trust her. I do that with people all the time.

>>17313945
All women get paid for their pussy one way or another

Tiny Tim woke up in his grave. There was a stairway leading downwards. He followed it, wondering whether he was going to hell, but there was no indiciation of it, at least not in any way of stereotypical depiction. The stairway was narrow and winding, as if climbing down a churches tower. I have died, he realized, as he was slowly coming to his new senses. He looked at his hand, then at the rest of his body. It was not material, No flesh, no bones were there. He felt intuitively that his body was formed by an idea of himself rathner than any kind of material reality. I have died. I am not dreaming. He wanted to feel sad, but there was nothing to feel. He climbed down the stairs fro hours and hours on end, and at the same it felt that whenever he became aware of himself climbing down the stairs, that he had only just started descending. It went on like this for half an eternity.

At times he noticed strange shifts in his perception of reality. As if time was stretching or contracting. Climbing a few steps suddenly felt like taking hours on end, and then he ascended down millions of steps in less than a second. Like a kind of personal purgatrium did he keep at it until he finally noticed that the outer walls of the stairways had windows through which was shining a faded light. As he stopped in his tracks it also seemed that the stairways came to an end. Everything halted. He moved towards a window and looked outside. It was heaven. An infinite heaven bathed in beautiful rosy light, comforting Tiny Tims soul as he grew finally assured without the slightest rest of doubt that he was dead. A hand started caressing his shoulders, then his neck then his hair, as Tiny Tim was weeping over his death. Time stood still as Tiny Tim weeped. Everything waited for him to mourn over his death. Patiently. Tiny Tem felt this, he knew he had time to cry over everything. And he cried over everything. Every single memory of his life rose up before him, as he mourned what he had lost and would never recover. His mother, his father, his brother, his sisters. When he was done, he turned away from the window and saw that he had entered heaven himself. There stood his mother, smiling at him, translucent and filled by the omnipresent rosy light. She disappeared, a last look of eternal gratefulness and love was exchanged between the two, before Tiny Tim was at last alone. Good bye, he whispered and then: nothing.

>>17314076
>>17314086
hmm, what kind of test? Also definitely projecting, but I've got nothing else right now and I'm almost 30 and my last relationship crashed so spectacularly that I've been crippled these last 2 years.

>>17314193
No idea, anon. This is the kind of thing that you get to know the person and have to take advantage of some situation. Otherwise, it will be too obvious.

>>17314193
As in saying something weird and seeing if the person can keep a secret, then you get her mad at you, not too mad, or whatever. The hard part of it is that most people are a disappointment. But better safe than sorry.

i want to kill myself

>>17314223
Don't do it. It goes away eventually, but you have to stay around.

>>17313641
Jack Kerouac wrote some stuff in Quebecois. He'd spoken it as a kid, but never really learnt how to spell or anything, so it's already bastardised half French with heavily anglicised phonetics.

hurray hurray my friends
Hurray!!!!
HURRAAAAAAAAAYY!!!!
Today we will end the tyranny!
Today at last!!! HURRRAAAAYYY
Down with the Tyrant!
Today we will destroy his citadel!
We will kill the guards of the tyrant!
Hurraaaay!!
The tyrant must die!
The Tyrant will die!
And free from our shackles we will dance eternally!
When the tyrant is gone, we will dance eternally!! Hurraaayy!
The Tyrant Will Fall
His Citadel will fall
His guards will fall
Hurraaaaaaay! It is time to cheer for the day is nigh, that the tyrant will die! Hahaha! He will die!!! HURRAAAAYYY!!!
His Bones will be buried in the pigsty, hurraaay!!! And we will defecate into his mistresses mouth, Hurrayy!!! The Tyrant will die!!!!

>>17314278
arggghhh yodelho!!

First retard to respond picks my language
Italian
Russian
Chinese

>>17314278
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/51294/waiting-for-the-barbarians

>>17314298
KEK Chinese

>>17314298
Hokkien Chinese

>>17314299
Strange coincidence i read this yesterday, its in Empires of the Silk Road by Christopher I. Beckwith

>>17314334
>Empires of the Silk Road by Christopher I. Beckwith
Haven't read that; give me a summary. Cavafy's one of the best poets of the turn of the last century.

Als wir in den Gräben standen, spürten wir den kalten Atem des Todes in unseren Nacken.
Und als das Artilleriefeuer begann, war alles vorbei.
Es zählte nicht mehr ob tot oder lebendig, denn alles war vorbei.
Ich überlebte diesen Tag, doch fand ich nie wieder ins Leben zurück.

>>17314360
A history book on central asia. Not great to be honest because his scope is a bit broad covering all of eurasia from the bronze age onwards with a bit more attention given to central asia then everywhere else. He tries to improve the image of the steppe groups as a largely peaceful and prosperous group that only resorts to war when pushed to it. Its an argument I largely agree with but i think he swings too far the other way. He also randomly starts talking post modern about arts towards the end for some reason. If you arent interested in central asia give it a go, if not i'd avoid it.

>>17313893
>hmm...which email-task should i complete first ?

I live in a small apartment in a very small town. My neighbor across the hall works for 12 hours a day to come home to his mother taking care of his children. My neighbors next door are meth addicts. They sell meth to other junkies in the parking lot. I sometimes here the wife cheating on her husband, who's now in jail for home invasion. They have three or four kids, hard to tell because they don't ever leave the apartment.
I work in an industrial setting around 55 hours a week and spend one day every weekend with my friends, most of whom are unemployed or are working dead end, minimum wage fast food jobs. Some are still in high school.
I love with my girlfriend and my cat, both I love very much. She believes in me, more than I do myself nowadays. Some days I think that she's wrong, and that the situation I was born into is enough to keep from doing anything.
I thought of myself as someone who could do something special, or have some effect on the world greater than myself. I thought that I could do something more than manual labor. Now I am getting ready to go to sleep so that I can wake up at 4:30 am to spend 10 hours doing work, and those 10 hours will be done without any memory of what I accomplished. It's there and gone.
I don't know if I should read more Nietzsche or maybe try to enroll in some online classes, this current way of living is never what I had in mind. I don't know where to go from here.
I'm not sure if this is my underdeveloped brain or if I'm just being melodramatic. Any advice or help would be appreciated.

>>17314512
Your best option is to probably save up money, invest some in bitcoin and then leave for another smallish town where you don't know anybody and live off your savings while you try to learn a skill or trade. You basically need to buy time and spend it on a longer term goal. Good luck anon.

>>17314411
>If you arent interested in central asia give it a go, if not i'd avoid it.
I don't know what to make of this.

>>17314512
Grim life, but a reality for so many that is hidden away in the grand narrative of the media apparatus.

In any case, you know that Bukowski started writing to save himself from the soul-killing work in the post office? Perhaps this is your route as well. It doesnt need to be anything special, it just needs to be true to the heart, your authentic voice and what have you learned and seen around you. There's a dire need for literature like this, the voices of millions of people like you or your neighbours are unheard, by telling your story, you are telling theirs.

Another option is to invest your money strategically into stocks etc. to escape the treadmill.

I believe in you.

>>17314617
I interpreted to mean it's entry level and decent for non-specialists, but he probably just typed it wrong.

>>17314512
I'd dip to NYC in the middle of night and never look back. In fact, that is exactly what I did.

>>17314671
>entry level and decent for non-specialists
Yes, I thought so too, like
>If you know enough about Central Asia to know why it's inaccurate it'll piss you off
But I also think there's a chance he might have meant something different to what he wrote. I might order the book about Chinese tea culture a different anon told me about instead.

I've Completely lost my taste for fiction. I keep thinking it is a phase, but I am on year 3 without reading any.

This probably belongs ITT rather than in its own thread.

>>17314767
>>17314988

If I could return to one point in my life, it would be as a kid visiting a casino in Vegas for the first time and seeing the luxurious shops and fountains. Things are much more fantastic when you're young

I'm going to bed.

>>17315694
HeeellOOOOooooOOOOoooo

Is life just frutration to the end? Why even live?

>>17316834
The life is the meaning.

>>17316844
What the fuck do you mean? I feel like I've been sold a giant scam. Everything I do, even my successes, all end up in frustration. It's like the world is designed to ever so mock me for falling for its same old trick every time and not opt out already.

>>17303929
help with what?

>>17316834
Once your living the default state is living so there is no 'why' is that needs answering.

>>17310505
Letterboxd is even worse in that regard. It's filled with those kinds of people, some of them are among the most popular accounts. Take a look at Sally Jane Black, a literal terrorist.

>>17300838
"What? You are unhappy with the fact that you drew the short straw and had no say in it? How could that be?"

fuck jannies

>>17300114
lol that would be crazy :3

>>17316988
Do they even respect any rules anymore? They just deleted this thread because they felt like it.

>>17317176
it's stupid that that got deleted. this board is overmoderated

i think it's because they expected it was a pol post using neoliberalism in its weak contemporary sense. maybe it would have been protected from PIG STINK SCUM JANITORS if you had said like

"i don't mean redscare meme neoliberalism, this post is about actual strict sense neoliberalism like what thinkers X Y Z are writing about in books ABC.

>>17317176
That post is about politics which has its own board

>>17299087
hote

>>17317176
>Do they even respect any rules anymore?
read the first rule of this board
you're given far more leeway than you realize

Zizek is LIE (ENTJ).

The common denominator of his books and lectures is P (Te). He is always referencing someone or something, often at least two or more things at once, either in harmony or in contrast, but seldom if ever speaks of what he thinks either way. Even the gaps between the Philosophers and works he cites are not bridged with L (Ti), he claims them already bridged in "Historical" events and/or in parts of said works themselves, or others, explicitly or apocryphally (never implicitly). Needless to say that L (Ti) in in terms of hypotheses, cosmologies, doctrines, hierarchies, etc. is absent. Both R (Fi) and E (Fe) are quite weak, the latter only manifests, if you could call it that, in a vague intensity of speech, the former in his regular but sparse mentions of love, though always looking in from the analytic vantage point, as well as in his total rejection of certain ideas such as human suffering being "justified" in any way. What does inform his P (Te) is T (Ni) and I (Ne). One could say he remains in the confines of the text in a Gnostic sense, truly taking it for its word to reveal contradictions otherwise dogmatically ignored, turning it inside-out and upside-down, he manipulates the text as origami manipulates paper, much to the dismay of many self-proclaimed Empirical types. Through T (Ni) in particular, and F (Se), his works coincide the most "abstract" ideas with the most actual, even the most vulgar, Phenomena. He claims their are Logically continuous, literally on P (Te) grounds, very much observing the perennial idea that theories, arguments, epistemologies in and of themselves end up mimicking or mirroring their object. One of his proclivities is showing how so-and-so is in fact more literal, rather than more abstract, than he claims. His blind spot is obviously S (Si), the traditional or the familiar does not even occur to him. Perhaps he constantly references Marx in part because he too hated it? Looking at his person rather than his work, F (Se) with no S (Si) is likewise obvious: he constantly reads, recalls, writes, a large amount of very difficult material, the P (Te)-F (Se) synergy has made him famous despite him looking and sounding like a hobo.

>>17317619
>socionics on 4chan
uhhh... i thought i was the only one, honestly

>>17317619
>>17317635
plz convince me these aren't schizo posts

studying polisci, I think I want to get into local governance. sent out emails to administrative units near where I live in my town asking for any openings for some kind of summer-internship. one of them replied that they want to know more about me, want to talk on the phone. I am now overthinking when/how this should happen. the guy said I could send a number and he could call, or I could just call him. I think generally it would be best, just from a human perspective, to let him call when it suits him and call him if he hasn't been in contact in maybe a week or so. The crux, I realize, is that as a uni-student I sleep to about 11 every day. it is likely that he will call earlier than that, meaning I will be woken up by his call, and that's not a good look. this would be an argument for me to call him. I also wonder what he will want to know, and so I'm going through in my head why I actually want the job and so on. I gotta call my mom later and have a pep-talk/go through where I'm coming from.

It's exciting but it's scary, you know.

>>17300426
Make some porn, I'd watch that

I’m simply unrestrained with my lust for Asian women. Just yesterday I smoked some marijuana and declared I would read “Brothers Karamazov”. While reading about the trolling of monks and Miusov I began to feel a great urge to coom. It was positively overwhelming, the passion was coarsing through my veins hotly. I opened up my computer and tried to masturbate to a white women but I felt nothing, as though staring at an inanimate object. I sighed and then went on Asiansgonewild on Reddit and looked at that their beautiful golden skin, those tight bodies, perky brown nipples, and their mouthwatering pussies. Trying to resist only emboldened me further to my perversion. One coom to a big Japanese ass. Another to Eurasian with big breasts. The third to an Asian girls blog talking about how she wishes to cheat with a white man. The fourth I can’t say I remember as my head was spinning and a mere drop of semen leaked about of my strained member. They’re just so heavenly gorgeous and I want to shove my tongue into their eager little mouths and worship every little part of their smooth bodies.

Upon discovering my best friend back in high school is now a high class dominatrix I started anonymously sending her erotic poetry - I'm now wondering if this is a good idea

>>17317892
It’s a very good idea.

>>17317893
I figured; an emboldening secret.

antipsychotics make me feel easier but they're also making me dull - is it a fair trade off or should I suffer?

>>17317904
Quite so! But then again I am this poster >>17317862 so I may be a bit biased in giving advice on such matters. However I suspect you feeling that it’s wrong only makes you crave her more hehe

>>17317927
She's already replied saying she loves the poems. I don't feel there's anything unethical, she'd probably laugh if she found out. She was always a kinda mean tomboy.

But you're right in that it's exhilarating, her not knowing is the secret reversal of the dom dynamic

>>17317957
I hope that she fucks your brains out, poem-anon.

>Many people who suffer long-lasting effects of the coronavirus develop heart problems, diabetes and chronic liver and kidney conditions, according to the report.

>“We don’t know if it’s because COVID destroyed the beta cells which make insulin and you get Type 1 diabetes, or whether it causes insulin resistance, and you develop Type 2, but we are seeing these surprising new diagnoses of diabetes,” he said.

Wow, according to researchers in the UK, covid can cause diabetes!

>>17317960
Thanks! However, unlikely. She may prove a great muse though

I am beset by perspectivists.
These people do not see reason
First they assert their own perception as infallible.
Then they assert everyone has a different perspective.
Then they assert a universal truth, but assert it's unknowability.

They seem to flick through all these positions seemingly at random

>>17318265
>>17318265
>>17318265

>>17301439
I'm happy for you.

Pondering whether I should off myself if my disease won't get better in a year.