/lit/ - Literature

first for protective onee-sans

>>17247090
>write what's on your mind
What's on my mind is that the thumbnail of your pic reminded my of a photo set of lenfried where she's outside in anyukata and going around lifting it up to surreptitiously pee in public and I want to fuck her bald little cunt while she squeals and pisses herself holy fucking shit.

>>17247090
I would have liked to have lived in an society experiencing its golden age, not one which seems to be in increasingly faster decline. Why is it that other got to live in times of peace and plenty, and I find myself living in one in which my country is falling apart — in which my civilization is falling apart?

>>17247099
truth bombs

>>17247142
>lifting it up to surreptitiously pee in public
sounds hot, pls link
>bald little cunt
cringe nvm

>>17247158
In the 60's people thought the world was going to end in nuclear war, at what time were people really aware they were living in the best of times?

>>17247090
It's 4:30 AM, I'm not going to sleep tonight, even if I planned to be asleep by 12 AM.
Going to walk downstairs at 5 AM and drink a big cup of coffee and eat some nice eggs boiled eggs, maybe 3 or 4.
I'm decided to not masturbate tomorrow.
I'm going to start a new diary.
Also need to start reading again, I haven't read in a week, and haven't played guitar on 3 days.

In one hour my living room is cold, oppressive, and filled with specters of loneliness.
The next it is homely, inviting, comforting
The layout hasn't changed, the temperature hasn't changed, my situation hasn't changed. Why do the same things look so different moment to moment?

>>17247178
Trajan's Rome or David's Israel? Yeah I'm probably romanticizing the past, but I am feeling very gloomy about the US's future, the West's future. The world's future really.

>>17247090
I wish I had a secret underground complex like V from V for Vendetta.

My English isn't good enough to describe my hate for American leftists

>>17247179
take ur pillz

I'm trying to get a book published that's more than a little odd and experimental. I think it's pretty good, in its own right, but it does some odd things that I think might be a turnoff to more traditional publishers and agents and editors. So I keep searching and hunting around for the right place to try sending it in.

>>17247222
Good luck anon

>>17247179
besides the diary and guitar, literally me

My astrologer friend has been saying since summer that the stars say January 2021 is really bad news

I used to work with an attractive girl. I found out where she lived by looking up her last name in an online phonebook and confirmed it when the google street view picture of the house had her car in the driveway. Mostly it made me think of my own privacy and how easy it would be to find out these details with nothing more than a name. I don't use social media but neither did she and it didn't do much good.

>>17247480
Curious. People used to look up people in the phone book and call them or go knock on their door all the time. Now that is considered an invasion of privacy but following every mundane detail of their life on social media is completely fine. I really do not get these times.

I suspect I have bipolar

Try as I might, I literally can't understand the zoomer fetish for watching faggots like "destiny" talk about current events. It's just some fucking dork, he's not even interesting or intelligent. The fans of these people always come across like they worship them and identify with them in some way that goes beyond the entertainment or commentary. I really think there's something weird going on there.

Whatever that is, what I don't understand is why they're getting their fix of it from THAT guy. He's clearly a fag. I understand people who watch friend simulators, I understand boomers who get used to their favorite news anchor telling them what to think after 10 years. I don't understand people who "follow" youtube celebrities and act like their hometown sports team just won the cup when their youtube celebrity debates another one.

Is it some kind of subhuman 4chan underclass of influencer worshipers? They don't seem like normal 4chan posters, they seem like the next wave of giga-zoomers.

>>17247494
>I understand people who watch friend simulators
I hate being reminded this is a thing. You'd think those people would grow out of it at least in their 30s but clearly not.

>>17247190
>filled with specters of loneliness
Go back. The peepee poopoo me so RONERY lonely boy r*ddit look is unflattering even in the best of cases, but when you want to try to wax poetic on top of it, that's just crossing the line. You have literally offended me.

friendship

>>17247222
do post excerpts, brother

Why my dreams are so grounded and realistic? Theres never mythological or cosmic stuff.

>>17247472
One of my neighbors is also doing astrology, she says next two years will be bad. I hate astrologers, what the hell am I supposed to do with this vague information, destroy my mental health with constant worrying?

>>17247546
try falling asleep A) reading a really schizo book B) right after an absurd movie C) on melatonin or weed (alternatively, if you smoke for a couple of days and stop, your dreams also suddenly surge)

>>17247543
I've thought about it, I'm just nervous about putting it out on /lit/ because I want to make sure that publishers don't automatically reject me by finding it here.

One of the things that makes it so unusual is that it's a story told both in prose and in verse. It's initially told in prose, in the manner of a novel, but starting about halfway through, narrative poetry starts to break more and more into the storytelling, until the finale itself features a total absence of prose and is totally told in verse. I think that's probably going to turn off pretty much every mainstream publisher. But I'm committed to this format. In fact, I have a longer story planned out going forward, of which this book is just the first portion, and in that longer story I'm determined to tell parts of it in prose and parts of it in verse. I want to ultimately tell a great story, one that encompasses both the poetic tradition and the novelistic/shorter story tradition.

I just hope I can pull it off. I hope I'm good enough. I think I am, I've gotten short stories and poems published before. But this is a whole different beast.

>>17247551
Thanks, ill watch something from Lynch.

>>17247570
I post excerpts my longform experimental fiction all the time. Are you sure you're not just worried about being judged by anon? The idea that a publisher is going to read your anonymously posted writing here, remember it, and then decide not to publish you because of it is pretty illogical.

I can't sleep.

THe only thing on my mind right now is that Saoirse Ronan is probably the most beautiful women on this planet.

>>17247615
Irish names are pretty great. Aoife is a personal favorite. Any Irish anons able to chime in with some choice names?

>>17247607
Publishers do searches to make certain works/excepts were not published elsewhere and under copyright by some other publisher which the author just 'forgot' to mention. But they would be unlikely to find a random except online, possible but unlikely. More likely some anon would read the book later down the line and recognize it and start telling everyone that this author is an incel nazi just like us here!

>>17247090
A close friend that I had has told me that he "wants some space"
Something felt wrong for a month of two, for some reason I thought in the back of my mind that he would stop contacting me on the basis of "I've outgrown you, you are boring" when I've 100 percent outgrown him in the past month, but he didn't give a reason and it all ended rather smoothly.
Feels bad because we'd exposed so much about our own lives to each other that I haven't really been comfortable expressing to other people, although I guess with the recent developments in my personal life as of late I am slowly gravitating towards people more suited to me as we all tend to do

>>17247622
My favorites are Iain (pronounced een), Gaoigach (pronounced William), and Saoirth (pronounced Shart)

Homaigh néa sach! (It means Ireland forever)

I should be getting back to learning japanese instead wasting time shitposting on 4chan.
>>17247546
You've got it nice; I'm usually either getting attacked by huge spiders, suffocate due to literal hands growing inside my throat, or have to fight some literal abomination in order to survive. The times I have dreams that are steeped in myth, I'm either getting raped or am left very confused due their cryptic nature (they always are pretty accurate though, often times drawing from myths and pantheons I'm not very well acquainted with).

>>17247631
Don't be a nigger you fuckin spudbrain.

>>17247222
I'm sort of in the same boat, but my book is composed entirely of experimental satirical poetry. It's half gimmick, half substance, but I truly believe it has artistic merit. I've been published plenty of times, but most of the poems are so unusual or unique in formatting that I can't send them out to magazines. I think we're better off going with indie publishers or mid-sized ones at the very most. Do you have an agent or anything?

>>17247090
The first amendment made obsolete by technology. With it, there will be major provisions against the second amendment, and then we can expect only the worst thereon out

>>17247090
I need to get off the internet. I cant explain it but something shifted after the events of last week. Anyone with any sense will do the same. Develop yourself, read books from the library. Cut the cord. Prepare for whatever's coming next.

>>17247816
I feel the same. We are heading towards a dystopian present.

>>17247816
I am sort of ready for it. The Democrats and Republicans have done everything they can to make their bases believe the other side is pure evil and the cause of all the worlds problems, they have succeeded and have likely done a good enough job at it that any meeting in the middle will just anger their bases even more. The parties are destroying themselves and I say good riddance.

These delusional Trump fascists who believe the "fraud" conspiracy and supported the coup attempt belong in an asylum

>>17247886
I think the election was legitimate and Trump was out of line. However I think the left will also use this opportunity to ban all rightwing viewpoints from the internet and implement authoritarianism a la 1984 with a side of BNW

I wish i could feel the calling for a greater destiny or capacity for a great talent. I tried different things but nothing resonated with me.

>>17248125
As someone with "talent" and its accompanying restless perfectionism, the grass is always greener. I have no clue why anyone would ever want this kind of artistic ambition, especially considering my talent will most likely never result in an actually valuable contribution to literature. In all likelihood I will just never be good enough, but my bone deep arrogance won't let me access it. If I could be happy just working a 9-5 and settling down with a family for the rest of my life, I'd consider that a gift.

>>17248125
Why does it need to resonate? People where more pragmatic with this sort of stuff 100 years ago, they had the desire to be something more and they looked for a way which they could accomplish it. It had nothing loving what you do, or even liking it, it was about the greater goal to make a mark on the world.

>>17248156
I mean you like the process of doing it and can innovate new things. >>17248164
Sadly but those times passed.

>>17248237
>Sadly but those times passed.
There are no laws saying you must only do what you love. I do not particularly enjoy writing, absolutely hate doing dialog, but it is the best and most realistic way for me to achieve my goals, so I do it, I work hard and it gets easier to do and I get better at it.

I was thinking about two things.First is that every time I fire up the browser it opens up on a news site and I noticed a trend and started to check it and every day,without fail,theres an article on what would be the first page(without scrolling) about open relationships or some onlyfans stuff,which I find rather amusing because its mainly an US thing.I find that funny.
The second one is that I read book 8 of Herodotus' Histories and I was thinking if anyone walking this earth right now would do something as the spartiates did,if theres anyone whose beliefs are stronger than impending doom and defeat,and would stay and face certain death for what they believe in,knowing they would lose.
Those two things in conjunction make me feel like Im displaying my thoughts as some trad larper but honestly,thats whats on my mind

>>17248270
>dopamine dopamine dopamine dopamine dopamine dopamine dopamine dopamine dopamine dopamine dopamine dopamine dopamine dopamine dopamine dopamine dopamine dopamine dopamine dopamine dopamine dopamine dopamine dopamine dopamine dopamine dopamine dopamine dopamine dopamine dopamine dopamine dopamine dopamine dopamine dopamine

some chick invited herself over to visit, i'm trying to pump myself up so i'll be in a good mood about it when she gets here. she's nice, i don't want to be rude, but i have zero interest in this right now.

I will really wanna fuck teenagers, I want 2 sixteen, legal here, girls, one sucking my dick and another licking my asshole.

>>17248981
based

>>17247494
Kinda similar, I used to watch yourmoviesucks on youtube 8 years ago (before knowing more about him), and the weird part looking back is how his opinions felt automatically correct by being in video essay form. Kids and teenagers are easily influenced, you don't have a good filter in your mind for other people's opinions until you mature a little. So if an e-celeb starts to argue with other e-celebs, naturally you as a zoomer get outraged they would insult someone who's obviously correct, and you spectate it like it's a fight between the just/true and a bad liar. These people on youtube and twitch don't have to be dorks to get popular, it's just that dorks are more likely to become youtube celebrities than a normal guy who doesn't care about internet clout.

>>17247142
>reminded my of a photo set of lenfried where she's outside in anyukata and going around lifting it up to surreptitiously pee in public and I want to fuck her bald little cunt while she squeals and pisses herself holy fucking shit

I feel trapped by this world

>>17249223
You and me both brother. Every day I pray that lightning would turn me to fucking dust.

>>17249391
You and I*

>>17247622
Some Irish names are hilarious. Who names their kid Lochlann or Deirdre or Síofra? Wtf are you planning to do to them that those were apt?

>>17247142
That's hot, post link.

>>17249569
This type of cultural unawareness could only have been typed by mutt hands. They're not unusual names in Ireland, dummy (except for Síofra, never heard anyone called that).

>>17249569
Yeah hardly keeping pace with modernity innit

>>17249667
The idea of a purple skinned nubian princess with an Irish accent is too much for my dick to handle

>>17249689
They don't have Irish accents weirdly enough, they typically retain their parents Nigerian accent and then mix it with the London accent because that's what all black people outside of London idolise.

>>17249623
>Not knowing the names' meanings
Really lad?
>>17249697
Most kids speak their local accent. Though I love how the older ones keep their accent but use all the dialect words. Nothing quite like a Nigerian calling you a knacker.

https://chicago.suntimes.com/crime/2021/1/9/22222778/man-shot-dead-hyde-park-east-end-gun-violence

>>17249770
>Nothing quite like a Nigerian calling you a knacker.
Damn, well done for showing self restraint and not beating them to death with a shovel.

>>17247178
That was more of a situation in which the country was fearful of an existential threat. The crisis of modern times, if that is the way in which you choose to see it, is one of steady societal decay. There is no enemy to defeat, only the decline of the nation's people.

>>17249792
To be fair, I was pissing against his bike at the time. I'd have called me a knacker too.

>>17249792
What? Why? Are you a racist or something?

>>17249808
He probably just bates everything that brings up his heritage with a shovel lad.

>>17249808
>Are you a racist or something?
Yes. Specifically towards black people though.

Im 30 next year. It really makes me think of suicide.

>>17249818
Mate, you were pissing on someone's bike. Know your place, it's at the camp.

>>17249839
>camp
lol did you learn words like that from mummy and daddy or the nanny or maybe rugby?

>>17249858
Did you learn to piss on bikes from yer maaaa

>>17249858
>on /lit/
>complaining about people not typing like oirish twitter

I fucking love sneed

I can't believe quitting coffee has made my thoughts so clear and accessible

>>17249866
>>17249875
>no let's not bully the d4 stereotype
Hi Foxrock! Do you think they'll ever accept the math d18-d14=d4?

dadaISM

>>17249569
Deirdre is nice. sounds like a hearty woman

>>17249938
You're aware the island's larger than Dublin, yes? No wonder you're so comfortable being stepped on by foreigners and pissing on bikes.

>>17249391
>>17249481
Do you feel trapped by your body, or who you are too? Or is it just the world outside of yourself? Sorry for the personal question. This is a feeling I’ve struggled with for a really long time.

I wish I was hanging at my friends place

>>17250016
>You're aware
I am lad but since you couldn't spot my dialect I assumed the extent of Ireland for you was your parents' house. I can also pretty safely assume you've avoided anyone who wears a tracksuit off the pitch because you're shit scared of any teenager who didn't have flute lessons beating the shit out of you.
>>17250005
It means sorrowful.

>>17247516
>If you mention loneliness i will autist attack you
That's a harsh condition, i'm sorry.

>>17250293
You still haven't explained why you piss on people's bikes m8. Just brought up wrong?

i just ghosted a chick but in my mind as i write this i'm telling myself she ghosted me, ahh the twisted copes we weave

>>17250293
you're trying too hard lad, it's obvious you're a house boy yourself

I like Siobhan too. Sinead isn't bad.

>>17247480
i got the creepiest postcard in the mail last year. someone took a picture of the building from google streetview, printed it out and put a stamp on it, and wrote on the back "we want to buy your building, call this number", i was like bruh, it's not for sale but even if was, that's not how you approach somebody

>>17247090
Got drunk for the first time last night. Got sick, threw up everywhere. Awful. Not doing it again.

Really annoys me how primitive societies would beat someone to death for attempting to hoard everything but now it's considered a good thing and others aspire to hoard money, resources, etc.

Really gets the old goat.

>>17250597
>Got drunk for the first time last night. Got sick, threw up everywhere. Awful. Not doing it again.
Congrats on becoming a man.

>>17250597
the first time you drink you should have just got one 40oz. that would be enough for you to get a buzz, but not enough for you to alcohol poison yourself lmao

>>17250409
>I've never been drunk in the dark
How's that happen?
>>17250429
Lad, anon doesn't even know anyone who's accidentally pissed on something while drunk. Think about how few people he would have to talk to. It's fair unlikely he know more than five people. Then add that he thinks beating foreigners is normal: the only answer is he's a very sheltered mammy's boy. If he was some scumbag who thinks violence is the answer, he'd know someone who pissed on a bike by accident or on purpose, and plenty of people who fuck wheels up. But he is a middle class sheltered kid who wishes he was hard instead of boring as fuck and reading the internet all day. I'm not saying he won't cut someone up because he's clearly a psycho, I'm saying he's the kind of psycho who hasn't had enough social interactions for that to happen yet. He'll be easy to spot at least when he does go off. He'll be the mad lad with the well ironed t-shirt and the borrowed shovel.

>>17250616
post source for primitive societies beating the chieftain to death cuz he was bogartin resources, never heard of a case of that, and please no fake anarchist "field work", someone serious if possible

>>17250716
>that wall of text
Absolutely seething pissbaby knacker.

>>17250732
>I'll fight the accusation I'm infested with internet memes with tl;dr and more internet memes
I know lad, the trouble is you'd never fight anyone who called you boss

>>17250716
lad, you're fucked in the head

>>17250755
who isn't lad?

>>17250716
https://www.hse.ie/eng/services/list/4/mental-health-services/
Get on it

>>17250765
Sorry, not middle class :/

>>17250773
We can tell.

>>17250781
Yeah I heard you inform each other of the goings on in Eire down the rugby club all the time early on in this conversation.

If there is one thing I have learnt from Socrates, it is that no one can really justify their personal philosophical views. Systematically questioned, sooner or later everyone gets tangled up in contradictions. Unrestrained criticism degenerates into never-ending destruction. One must either have eternal doubt or draw a ring of protection around the core of one's philosophy – one has to believe blindly.

>>17250789
>still seething
Can't even see when you're being played m8. Sure you don't get picked on in the estate ;)

>>17250797
>still memeing
You could at least give us pics of your shovel if you're looking to keep thing lively.

>>17250716
Why were you peeing outside like an animal? Am I too American to understand this?

>>17250796
anything that can be built with reason can be torn down with reason, i think demaistre or some other old crusty french guy said that

>>17250838
>Am I too American to understand this?
Yes.

>>17250806
I'll give you one on the condition you upload a photo of the stick up your hole.

>>17250838
He fortunately doesn't represent Ireland.

I will probably never be a writer

If you think about it you really do need to love unconditionally, the alternative is a mere transactional relationship: I love you *because* I get something in return. You're just being a consumer. That's the real logic that drives abusive or dysfunctional relationships, you feel that you've been ripped off because you've paid for something and aren't getting it, and you can't leave until you do. Loving unconditionally is what allows you to let go.

>unhygienic mick derails the thread
i've been reading too much recently and have the habit of thinking in the prose of the last book i've read

all of my thoughts are tolkienesque

this decade fucking SUCKS. roaring tvventies my ASS

>>17250884
Lad your banter is seriously hampered by living on the internet, it's like talking to a yank. Nobody's buying that I'm the uptight one when you're deeply emotionally disturbed by pissing against a wall after a session. That's a level of stick up your arse that would make this country unbearable for you.

The offer still stands. You won't get better than this, not after last time.

>>17250942
>he forgot there was no year 0
The decade started 10 days ago anon

>>17250974
>Lad your banter is seriously hampered by living on the internet
>Lad, anon doesn't even know anyone who's accidentally pissed on something while drunk. Think about how few people he would have to talk to. It's fair unlikely he know more than five people. Then add that he thinks beating foreigners is normal: the only answer is he's a very sheltered mammy's boy. If he was some scumbag who thinks violence is the answer, he'd know someone who pissed on a bike by accident or on purpose, and plenty of people who fuck wheels up. But he is a middle class sheltered kid who wishes he was hard instead of boring as fuck and reading the internet all day. I'm not saying he won't cut someone up because he's clearly a psycho, I'm saying he's the kind of psycho who hasn't had enough social interactions for that to happen yet. He'll be easy to spot at least when he does go off. He'll be the mad lad with the well ironed t-shirt and the borrowed shovel.
Top banter lad. You don't sound unhinged at all.

I went to visit apartments that I am going to move into with my fiancé, and the agent at one of them was so hot...is marriage correct? I am only 26

>>17251045
Saying I'm unhinged doesn't sound like your last five posts at all either. Do they let you keep handing in the same work in private schools so you've more time for pretending you live in America?

>>17251067
I've got you so worked up I know you'll be punching the air thinking of comebacks in the shower lmao

>>17251077
Lad I don't think even the Americans do that, I think that's just in their movies.

>>17251092
Here's a plot twist I thought you should know: I'm actually Scottish, never once been to Ireland. Been hilarious riling you up fella, have a good one.

>>17251115
Oh hi ossianfag. No wonder you sounded like a larping anglophone.

>>17250716
take your meds schizoposter

>>17251115
>Scottish
>>17251127
>ossianfag
Kek I was wondering what was making this thread blow up over the Irish language.

>>17250018
Why do you feel trapped anon? I feel trapped in the contingency and "merely physical" nature of existence too sometimes. I was reading about how Plato believed in the soul longing to return to contemplate the divine realm directly, and Aristotle believing that we are contingent beings and we should contemplate the divine by understanding it in this life. Specifically the thing I was reading said that this disagreement wasn't logical or conceptual, it was an issue of difference in character. Plato truly genuinely believed the soul is trapped on earth because he felt it in himself. Aristotle was more of a epicurean hedonist for whom the highest pleasure was rational contemplation of the world, because it's in those moments that one comes closest to the divine essence in oneself.

Different approaches to the same problem maybe, but I always felt myself closer to Plato, instinctively dissatisfied with Aristotle's idea. Somehow the highest contemplation isn't enough, I want pure contact between soul and reality.

I believe Goethe came close to balancing the two. Or maybe, of setting up Aristotle's method as the way to achieve Plato's dream. I don't know if he accomplished it but it's there. Novalis too.

>>17251067
You're not unhinged but you say "lad" way too much

>>17251059
Being married doesn't mean you'll never see a hot woman again. It's about more than that

>>17251029
This is awful, retarded pedantry. Why would 2020 be part of the 10s?

>>17251291
lad, you're completely right. i'm sorry for being such a faggot

>>17250838
>Am I too American to understand this?
I assure you, Americans also piss outside. I took a shit in a narrow alley once because it really couldn't wait. I don't see what's so strange about pissing on an empty street or against a tree or whatever.

>>17251349
What about against bikes?

>>17250708

>40oz

the absolute state of burger measurement

>>17251356
Accidents happen. But if I saw a guy pissing on my bike I'd kick his ass.

>>17251373
Preferable to 1.2 liters imo, or whatever wacky made-up british word is used to describe that size of bottle

What are the best alternative chans? The best alternative imageboards?

I'm interested in poking around a bit. But the worry has always been that I'll find an alternative chan but it has no traffic at all. What are some chans that actually have good traffic? Maybe the discussion is better there.

Is PUA just applied semiotics?

I hate my job but I don't know what else to do

>>17247090
Fuck love I'm gonna avoid that shit as best as I can

>>17251459
the only differences are in moderation. either they enforce liberal norms so it's basically reddit on a chan, or it has no moderation at all and gets taken over by insane anti-social freaks. hate to say it but this place really is the sweet spot.

I am not American and I pee outside more than I pee inside. Usually when I take my dogs outside or when I'm doing work outside. Do burgers not pee outside?

>>17247090
Computer bricked itself, locked into a loosing trade as a consequence, and meds mean I barely even get a buzz from drinks. What a fucking pain, guess I'll drink some more and do some reading now that I'm free from the constant toil of watching candles

>>17251594
I mean there's a lot of shit I can put up with, whether left-wing or right-wing. I just want a site that gets more than one post per half-hour.

>>17249837
Yeah, it feels like something magical happens and all regret suddenly kicks in.

I wish I had some eggs to boil and eat with salt. God that would be good. I got home from a trip today, I thought I had a lot more food and my bread had molded. This is a real bachelor-life tip: if you boil pasta with salt and olive oil, and then you don't pour off the water, then you get the most basic starch-water soup. I know how this sounds but it is honestly not bad, the water takes some flavor from the oil and the pasta. And you have pasta to eat! I'm telling you it is not that bad. It hinges on the oil I think. Maybe you could add pepper while cooking. I don't have any pasta, but I did this once and it was alright. I do have rice. I could make rice-water soup

>>17247199
why? well actually I guess I do too
>>17247222
try Transreal books, it's run by an old acid freak/math professor

>>17247492
if you're serious you should try to get in contact with someone. it can get pretty bad but can be treated. I'm no expert or anything but I am diagnosed with bipolar 2 and at its worst it has gotten very bad, and I am medicated and not having significant side-effects and I believe it is helping.

>>17251175
>>Scottish
please post a guide for how brittish islanders are racist about eachother

>>17249689
based multicultural coomer

quasi theological bullshit

>>17247090
I have developed an obsessive fantasy in which I travel back in time to memorable events in my life and live a completely different path from that point.
It's a yearning to change my past mistakes or embarrassments and transform them into successes.
Another obsessive fantasy is having the ability to pause time, its mostly a sexual fantasy though.

I don't think I'm tolerant at all desu sempai

>>17252501
the question is why I have to be so mad about it

>talking to a friend about a chick I've been talking to
>tell him I'm sceptical, I feel like she is using me because she gets off on the attention
>he says "maybe she just likes talking to you"
>realize that this seems impossible to me
>that's probably why I tell so many jokes
>I feel I have to earn for people to want to be around me at all
>never trust that they actually want to, but when I make them laugh it feels like they'll stay
it's a little sad to be honest

>>17247090
I've been thinking about time. Does it really exist? I've noticed as I've grown older, I throw away stuff and then I wonder. Did it every really happen at all? How do I know my memory isn't just a fabric of my imagination and I thought it happened? There's no way for me to confirm or deny whether or not it happened since there's no physical proof. I can't just ask someone about whether or not an event occurred either if only I was there to experience it. It almost makes it feel as if the past isn't a real thing. What if I just slept and woke up in a new world as a new person? I would never know the difference since there's no proof of the past. What if the past never existed and my brain is just pumped up with a different set of memories each day? It feels like the only real thing is the present. The thing you feel right now and only right now. Even a moment ago, how do you know if such a moment even existed? How do you know you didn't just imagine you did something and are now back in the present? Similarly, the future. It doesn't even exist, but people talk of it as if it does. People make plans, they strive for things. But we can only ever live in the present, so what is all this future non-sense? It doesn't exist and never exists. Only the present moment is where existence truly is. And for that reason. What point is there in doing anything? You should work harder now so you don't have to work as hard later, people might say. But why? Your future self doesn't exist and might not even care or be thankful for your past self. For was what your past self did even a thing? If so, was your past self a different person than you? The present you is only ever the present you, looking back at memories feels like looking at a different person who just did stuff for you. It makes you wonder if that person ever even existed just like the future. Does your future self exist? Such a person who's telling you to do this and that for what seems to be only their benefit? Why should present you go through such lengths for a person who isn't even real?

>try to change your behavior, hoping that your inward will change along with the "forced" outward change
>try to change your inward, trusting that the outward will resolve itself once the inward is healthy
>first method might end up just being running in circles
>second method might just end up being a really slow wank
what do you think /lit/, which is the better way toward salvation?
>why not both?
because the latter would define the former as contrived
>why are you such an autist, why would you give a shit about some kind of semantic logic at a time like this?
I don't know anon I just want to hear what you think

Any of you teach English or English as a Second Language? How is it?

>>17253141
>Any of you teach English or English as a Second Language? How is it?

Gonna vent like it's my diary. I'm wondering on how can I be happy. The "20's billboards" kind of happy. I feel like a child being fucking melodramatic, I do want change myself and be a man not a 23 year old kid, but in general I'm afraid to commit to life. I prefer not talking to anyone and watching or reading random meaningless shit and be eluded in the confort of the known. How do you handle being social /lit/?

>>17253141
I taught English in China for a year. Overall a fun experience, but teaching is a meat grinder. You‘ll enjoy it if you like people and have a positive attitude/ don’t care about repetitive work corralling children. The best parts were the travel and meeting interesting people. Overall doesn’t help your resume unless you want to keep teaching.

I played persona 4 a while back and i feel nothing but regret for my teenage life now (im only 20), even though its a fictitious story it makes me really sad that ill never live in Inaba battling with shadows and making friends along the way

>>17253211
Meet other people interested in interesting things, it'll take time to find people who are alike to you in ways but it's very much worth it when you do. It's nice having a few friends who share your interests such as literature, music, philosophy, drugs, culture, and other interests.

>>17253167
?

>>17253264
In China? That’s interesting. Did you have a hard time starting a new job when you got back? Ever think about staying in China?

I have an English degree and I’m open to teaching English here or abroad. Some people have advised me not to go abroad though. I’m not very social and not great with young kids either is the thing. High school or college is fine but younger I don’t know.

>>17253264
>I taught English in China for a year

>>17253354
You can teach adults but make sure it’s in your contract before you sign. I wasn’t great with kids or people, but you learn. It is a difficult process though if your personality is similar to mine.

Yes job opportunities are slim. I have a philosophy degree so do the math. You could get new teaching jobs in your home country fairly easily if you get certified, but I don’t want to teach anymore so it was useless for me.

Didn’t want to stay in China the culture is too different for me.

Don’t think it’s some life changing experience. It is, but in ways that have little bearing on economic success down the line.

>>17253416
Would you go back to China again if you could do it over? Would you go somewhere else?

What are good day jobs for writers?

That last thread had a good conversation going.

>>17253456
Right now I’m joining the army because I can’t find a job or find the will to do anything but beat off. Would I do it again? No, I’d have majored in engineering and gotten a stable job.

If you want to be a teacher do it. What do you expect to gain from this? What are yours goals? Tell me that I can tell you whether it will bring you closer to them

>>17253310
Thanks anon. I have meet such people once or twice. But i can't or won't keep in touch. A part of myself refuses to call or send a message to other people if that makes sense. My ex-girlfriend would push me to be social and I guess I'm thankful for that.

>>17253564
>What do you expect to gain from this? What are yours goals? Tell me that I can tell you whether it will bring you closer to them
I just want to travel, go somewhere, do something, ya know? Coincidentally, I’ve been looking into the military as well. My only real issue is I’m a bit older than typical.

>>17253633
I should clarify that’s the case in regard to going abroad. As for teaching generally, I was just asking about it because it seems like an okay job I can do.

>>17253633
>Travel, go somewhere, do something

You don't need me to tell you teaching abroad will do this. Anon you're aimless. I was too when I went abroad. I get it, but what I can tell you is aimlessness will have you waking up one day realizing you aren't where you want to be in life.

I'm 28. I'll be older in the army too. But with free room and board and a 5 figure bonus I can get out in 5 years with almost 100k in my pocket and the G.I. bill to go back to school and get useful skills.

If you can ace the ASVAB you can get a top secret clearance, which makes 6 figures easily when you get out. Ace the DLAB and you can be a linguist and have the military pay you to learn a new language on top of that top secret clearance. I'd recommend looking into that. Even if you don't do it now, consider it in the future. Or, go abroad and teach and then come home and teach. You need to know what you want from life before anyone can help you. "To a boat with no destination no winds are favorable."

HOW FUCKING LONG DOES BLOWDRYING YOUR HAIR TAKE JESUS CHRIST

HOW IS HAVING STRAIGHT HAIR WORTH IT IF IR TAKES LITERALLY A FUCKING HOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYTHING I LEARN ABOUT WOMEN MAKES ME MORE CONCERNED FOR THEIR MENTAL HEALTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP TURNIGN IT OFF IF YOU'RE JUST GOING TO FUCKING TURN I TBACK ON AGAIN I KEEP FEELING THE SWEET RELIEF OF NOT HEARING THAT DRONING WHINE AND THEN IT TURNS BACK ON 10 SECONDS LATER JUST LEAVE IT ON JUST LEAVE IT STOP COCKTEASING ME NO HAIR IS WORT HTHIS

>>17253719
I already know I’m aimless I guess. I don’t really have any career aspirations. I just know I love to read and write and I don’t like what I’m doing now. Linguist is actually one of the things I was looking into. I roughly your age as well.

>>17253770
I don't have career aspirations other than 'become a famous philosophy. Profit." It hasn't worked, but I want a wife and kids eventually, at least stability, so that drove me to the army.

I don't know what you're going through or who you are, but from my experience I'd say signing up for the military is the better option of the two. You could also grab the bull by the horns and work your ass of to become an editor or something, but if you're anything like me you probably shouldn't trust yourself to be a self starter. I'm an INTP if it means anything to you, and you seem to be one too.

>>17253820
Idk what I am. Regardless, I’m not sure editor is the job for me. Just curious. What are you looking at in the army? Linguist? Have you looked into trying for a commission at all?

>>17253846
Commissioning takes a year and I want to ship out yesterday. Its not for me.

What I've heard from braindead recruiters who don't know dick: STEM degrees, high GPAs, high ASVAB, and solid physical fitness are what matters. You also go before a panel of officers and get grilled so speaking skills help.

I'm looking around at different jobs at the moment.

>>17253877
Yeah I don’t have a STEM degree and my GPA isn’t great, fitness is good, not great. Probably off the table for me. For what it’s worth, I know some older guys who want to commission but can’t end up going with Intel sometimes. My step-brother was Army so I’ve picked up some things. Maybe you can look into that one.

just want a japanese gf to wake me up every day by straddling my face and letting her bush tickle my nostrils

>>17253932
Truly japanese are the superior asians,I dislike them culturally but aesthtletically from an ethnic point of view theyre better

>>17254064
not trying to be funny but your post screams virgin much louder than my did lol

>>17254081
Impartial 3rd party and have to disagree. They were equality virginal.

>>17254081
Omg!How did you know?
Wanna pop my sakura?

>>17253907
Good call. I wish you the best of luck man.

>>17247099

>>17248981
Hi Delicious Tacos, your books suck

Friends tell me my voice sounds like a shy gay guy. Looks like I'm never speaking again

>>17254339
vocaroo

>>17254360
https://voca.ro/17zBhxySWLhY

>>17254392
they're being pricks mate, you sound like a thoughtful guy. Pretty deep too. Don't even trip many women get off on this voice

>>17254440
:( But anon, I am a shy gay crossdresser

>>17254455
Then bang some boi puss, fuck man

>>17247622
Good taste fellow anon. As an Aoife myself some of my favourites are Caoimhe, Meadhbh and Fionnbarr. I'm planning on keeping traditional names should I ever have children, I can't be doing with these modern names you hear about these days.

>>17254392
Not gay by any means but you could afford to strengthen your voice, it's a little weak.

>>17254232
Why does she say it like it’s common? What makes it so awfully sad?

>Steelers

>>17253757
Did you not have sisters or something?

Very low energy. Don't have the libido or the anger I used to. In one way this has led to social and career success I never had in the past, but I also feel I've become less than I used to be. Am I being brainwashed into functioning society or am I just becoming old? Or is it this new closed society Covid lockdown shit neutering me? I don't know. I'm tired all the time now. I feel like I live for cheap stimulation now. Alcohol, weed, nicotine, caffeine, pain, strain, masturbation. Working out feels good but I am too lazy to do it most of the time now. I don't mind the exercise itself, I feel like I'm actually more bothered by the getting changed and showering.

>>17254232
I had a dream a girl from years ago that I dated was hugging me. Was nice.

>>17255151
I feel the exact same way. I love running, but I hate having to deal with sweaty ass clothes sitting around stinking up the joint. Also, I just don't care about anything. Everyone wants me to work harder and make more money, but I'm perfectly comfortable with the money I'm making now. I just don't care.

I just tried to sleep for 6 hours. 7 fucking hours. Didn't even fall asleep once. I'm not mad about it but this is just ridiculous. This truly is ridiculous. I refuse to get out of bed before falling asleep at least once now. What the hell. Normally I can sleep on demand for 8-10 hours. I don't know what's going on.

>>17255151
Me too. It's covid. It's the deconstruction of societal obligations. Perception of reality becomes difficult and so we rely on our basic wants to satiate until the next day.

>>17253757
kek. The downsides of women are too real to be ignored.

>>17255296
>>17255151
Isn't this bliss? Personally I love Corona Chan for exactly this. I've never been more happy in my life. Fuck all that other bullshit.

>>17255313
I was lonely for the first couple weeks, but now I have no interest in socializing again.

Went off to try and find a little corner of the internet that is still free from politics and interesting, didn't have much luck so decide to head over to lainchan which I have not gone to in a year or two, a tad too wholesome for me and the lain obsession gets to me, but not much in the way of politics, nope, even lainchan now has politics slipping into everything. Think we are doomed.

>>17255569
it seeps into everything like the doom of a bad a trip

>>17247472
>>17247549
Astrology isn’t real dudes

I don't know what to make of the fact that I have more sympathy for my cat than most people. In particular I care more for the well being of my cat than for some people in a disability facility where I work.

All too tiresome...

>>17255661
Cats are easy, anon. People feel like taking the easy path all the time. Have you ever wondered why there are so many 'pet parents'?

>>17255667
I'm not saying that people aren't worth it, but they are harder to deal with. You get more out of them than from dogs/cats/whatever, but you put more work into it.

I know what to do but im very afraid.

>>17247178
Even though we now realise that it was the beginning of the end, a lot of people who lived through 80s describe it as a time of boundless optimism particularly in the context of following the 70s. Even though it wasn't *really* a golden age, people at the time definitely thought it was.

My friends tell me that one of my biggest issues is insecurity and lack of confidence. But my problem is that I don't really feel like I am insecure so I don't really know how to change it. What does a confident person really look like? And where does confidence end and arrogance/delusion begin? Should I even care about being perceived as arrogant?

>>17255922
I get that sort of thing a fair amount, but really is just that I have nothing to say more often than not.

>>17247090
If 4channel gets taken down, it was a pleasure to post with all of you. I hope we meet again on some other forums or websites, or even irl. There's no way to ever know if that will happen (or if it happens, that it did), but fate has a funny way of working out for the best.

I'm in this weird headspace where I'm not depressed at all, in fact feel quite good and animated, and yet am still suicidal and think non stop about suicide. It just seems like the most logical thing to do, idk. I feel like I've experienced everything worth experiencing and now there's nothing worth doing anymore, just going through the motions, like I've completed all the content in a sandbox game and all that's left to do is wander the overworld doing the same shit over and over.

i can't sleep as usual

i want to build &amp into something really special. i'd like to look back over a catalog that stands years strong. i'd like to do it for a living. i'd like to bring other talented anons with me. justice man. the guy is inspired and i mean it. sometimes you just keep doing something small everyday and one day you look back over something truly great.
weird maybe because this is just the beginning. and who knows it could die yet.
i want to take on any writer on this board, and when i meet my match i want to publish together. so many of the collaborative efforts by /lit/ are astonishing yet still so terrible lel. like not good. but what else should you expect? with a little direction and a lot focus i really think its possible to make a real dent on the culture with it. i wouldn't do it otherwise.

>>17255975
Humepilled.

>>17256008
this board is mostly trash, and the few people who aren't imbeciles have other options

>>17256008
do it, anon. That seems cool.

>>17255965
After the revolution, I'm gonna make you my bottom bitch.

>>17256015
check my thread over here
>>17255607
i expected trash and i was surprised. same with the magazine. there are tons of shit submissions but the ones that are really really good are sent by dudes that aren't necessarily getting paid for it. its honestly a cutting edge in a frontier period. the bar is so low right now, and the market is so saturated, that i believe, as a reader, that we're doing something innovative. i've never actually spent much time in these threads before but this is really it.

How can we realize and manipulate the nature of the projected simultaneous simulation.......
How can and it was something that I don't have to do that the fuck is a good idea I don't know what to do with that the other one is a bit more than a few hours of sleep lol I don't want it

The planet sat alone, on the other side of the Sun. If it had wanted to be found, it would have. It was was waiting. Watching.

>>17255975
I feel similar but it's more that my brain is fried and can't take in new sensory experience. Like walking around purgatory when you could be on Earth. Sometimes I get suicidal periods randomly but they don't last long. If there is a god, does he have plans for people like us?

We reverse engineered the simultaneous simulation. We created from life some fictitious situations. Leading itself from deliberation. In the end, we called it a nation. Epstein didn't kill himself. It was the International Space Station.

>>17256056
>it's more that my brain is fried
Same, I don't know why though, I don't do drugs or drink very often, but over the past few years I've felt strange, have been more inclined to mystical schizo tier thinking, somehow more out of touch and alienated from what is considered "normal" than before. I have to watch my tongue around my normie friends lest I bring up subject matter that would upset them, like suicide for example. I have to remind myself that most people are horrified at the mere concept of suicide, let alone are prepared to think about it, much less to reason for it. But I do feel like a ghost most of the time.

I'm a lot different than how I used to be. People don't like that, I think. However, it is my choice to embrace the
And after that, we'll see.

>>17256210
People never like changes especially when it comes to personality changes.

>>17247549
You were going to do that anyway.

how do you cut yourself without people noticing, it's like wearing your heart on your sleeve

>>17251311
>Why would 2020 be part of the 10s?
Because it literally is, that's why. It's how the calendar works. There is no year zero. This isn't properly taught in school for some reason

>>17251459
None of them have traffic, that's the problem. And if something has traffic, it'll be only on the trash boards, like a more fringe version of /pol/. Also moderation, like the other anon says

>>17256558
were you abused as a child? no offense. i just feel like most ppl who self harm were abused and i just wanna know

oh theyre probably gone, sad

(writing whats on my mind)

>>17256160
thinking of suicide is pretty normal and your friends are putting up the facade.

>>17247615
Late 80s/ early 90s Jennifer Connelly is the most beautiful example of a human female I have ever seen desu

>>17254232
Good way to lose all respect from your mate and have her looking for someone else's dick.

>>17247090
I will propably do suicide in some time.

Time prep my suicide note.

>>17254232
thats how it feels when someone tells you they love and care bout u

>>17256861
Still no recs :(

>>17256861
also red alert isn't a v good book and kubrick did a rly gj to make it a movie. i fuckkin told u last yr in archive wakefield press were releasing a bumper year of translations u shd check em out
u shd read zacharias lister. it's abt becomin a prophet when ur friends don't rly tlk2u
>I may be afraid of dogs and butterflies but I'd throw myself on a pyre at any time for an idea
figure u'll rel8

I barely slept.

>>17247178
Nuclear war was never going to actually happen. Mutually Assured Destruction. Even during the Cuban Missile Crisis Kruschev warned Castro to not use nuclear weapons in a publicly revealed letter

>>17256870
Qa>>17256870
It's just cringe to talk with your friends about suicide. Like, what is there to say? Like 'Hey guys, I'm thinking of offing myself, what do you think about that?' Then, what are they supposed to say other than don't do it and anything along those lines. In a way it's very rude to mention it to them. You basically say them that nothing in life matters to you enough that you want to keep on enduring it, including them.

>>17247090
I want (no, scratch that), NEED nip gf

https://voca.ro/18ZmImxdAP1O

Get to work, answer all my emails in first 10 minutes, waiting on others to do their part on all the outstanding work.
Grab coffee and sit at my desk waiting for emails for the next 2h30m, again.
Ask for work to do in the meantime, boss completely misunderstands me and has me shadow a worker for something completely unrelated
Stuff finally comes in and I'm so anxious I feel sick, have to head home early. Damn I really dislike my job right now

Whats on my mind
>The smudge on the glasses I just cleaned
>The soreness in my neck from looking at my phone
>Razor bumps rubbing against the inside of my pants
>Irritation around my eyes
>Dryness and irritation in my nose
>ACHE OF MY KNEES GODDAMN
>caffeine jitters
>Sore shoulders
>Muscle tension in forehead
>High pitched sczsczscz of my computer
>Irritation around lips
>Pressure on my pelvis for sitting down with a flat ass
>Left ear is like 3.24% worse than right
>Tightness in throat
>Sound of my own breathing
>Breath smells like my dad's, haven't seen him in so long
>Oscillating between boredom and anxiety
>Facial hair constantly itches, goddamn, so itchy
>Now, bagpipes are playing on the radio. Why do they sound so weird
>Nutty and drying sensation in my mouth of having drunk strong coffee 15 minutes ago.
>"God, I have to do this shit for another 40 years"

omfg zeta's so fkn terrible @recs i thnk a lobster liver i ate earlier this mnth mite b bettr. srsly.

>>17247090
I need to get *out*.

thinking about ramadan. I converted about 2 years ago, but I have bipolar and have been told by doctors not to fast as it could trigger an episode. the thing is that fasting like that for that long kind of scares me. it's no small relief that I have a medical out, but that doesn't seem right, being relieved I don't have to do what God instructed (it is established that if you have health-problems then you don't have to). considering doing a shorter time. I think it will be about a 14 hour/day fast where I live. Maybe I could do 9? I don't know if that's worth anything. The imam I used to ask for things like this retired, and now in covid I haven't been going to a mosque so I don't really have a guy.

I'm going to refuse a vaccine, and get test results forged if I need to.

Absolutely do not trust that these people have my best interests at heart

What's the best spanish translation of Les Miserables?

>>17256558
i knew a girl that cut her shoulders, i didnt know she did it until i got her naked and her shoulders were 100% scars there was no area that wasnt scars from halfway of her collarbone to her upperbicep, she must have been doing it for like half a decade

Everyone around me knows how i should live my life. They offer sound advices but i cant do anything about it. I do have massive fear of living my life and i acknowledge it but i dont magically stop doing that. I just dont know.

>>17247090
Since last Wednesday I've written 12.2k words of what I'm thinking will be my first novel. I wonder how I'll make the beginning more interesting.

I spent 3 years getting a degree I now hate. i changed too much from start to finish.

Fuck accounting. its such a scam. The workers get scammed and the everyday people get scammed. Its insane how hard the little guy gets scammed. I feel like pure shit charging these insane prices.

I cant live for myself, i want to live for others. I dont care about shit pay, i would rather spend a life helping people. I've been thinking this for a year now.

Whats a job where I can help people. Some sort of social work. i dunno what to do

>>17250796
This is true only if you believe contradictions are inherently a bad thing. It may be wise to review this.

>>17257604
Stop whining.
Man up.

>>17259107
No

Should I watch Higurashi no Naku Koro ni Gou?
I've watched the anime up until Kai or Kira, didn't read the VN (it's been a few years). Is it a remake or a straight up sequel?

Man, the writing in those "Call of the..." books that get advertised here is so bad.

Working from home has destroyed my focus and attention span.

>>17247090
She's pretty.

>>17259729
Same

procrastinating going to bed. rewatching the office. not to be a normie but it really is very good, steve carrell is insanely good. I just wanted to write something into the void. Skibidibap.

My listening skill at Japanese is still really bad. Mostly because I hardly ever practice. I still think it's crazy though how I'm years into learning this language and practice every day, but the flow of words I've never seen before just doesn't stop coming

>>17260946
I've learned just a little bit in my spare time for fun. Something confusing to me is how randomly ending particles are used sometimes.
Heard a guy say Zannen da ta na
wtf DA TA NA nigga what is that!?

k anons, I'm paranoid about relationships. As in scared the fuck out of them. Any books on that?

>>17262251
just bee yourself bro

>>17262254
No, I can't. I'm paranoid about people controlling my life. It is not even about getting 'played,' that is kinda ok. But someone influencing my life and making me steer from my own interests into their own.

>>17262263
And that is probably the reason why I usually read a bunch of stuff that I don't agree/condone. As in learn how to be myself. And that relationships was something in general, as in friends too.

moses says that jesus abolished the law in his flesh but jesus said that he came to fulfill not abolish the law so can or can I not be a homosexual

>>17262301
Pope Francis said people can have families. https://www.dw.com/en/pope-francis-and-homosexuality-in-the-catholic-church-an-analysis/a-55371918

>>17252182
Stfu, Russell Edson. Your poetry is trash.

>>17247190
that's just the dynamic nature of conscious experience my man

>>17247158
This attitude is why civilization is in decline. Appreciate life and live as best you can in the circumstances.

>>17247179
It's strange how similar all of our lives probably are

>>17247090
So I am learning German, and I have this problem where whenever I sit down to study it I feel like I'm wasting my time bc the language's gonna die out. I know that a language spoken by 100+ million people is unlikely to die out (barring an asteroid) but I still get that thought. I kinda feel like it's my brain trying to avoid putting in the work of learning a language, but still. I wish there was a way to not have that thought.

>>17262435
Learn the German for
>Look out! An asteroid is going to hit the planet and wipe out all humans, leaving any survivors deaf, and kill all languages! You must fire your lasers! Fire them at the asteroid!

>>17256856
I wasn't. I used to cut, now I've started again and I don't want people to worry about me.

>>17261931
That's an easy one. He said
残念だったな
残念 = Unfortunate, regrettable
だった = that was
な = emphasis
The particle is tricky but it helps if you understand that it has almost no meaning in itself but colors how the speaker says it. Kinda like how in English you could say "That's unfortunate" vs. "That was pretty unfortunate" or "That's unfortunate eh?" or "That's kinda unfortunate" etc.
Particles look hard but they're self-explanatory really. What it sounds like is what it means. There is no difference in meaning adding a な or よ or わ or ぞ to the end, just a change in tone which becomes more clear the more you read

>>17247158
We're living in a golden age. The world looks fucked up, not because things are broken but because you have access to a million times more info, kid. There have been massive declines in poverty, right now is one of the most peaceful times to exist. We might actually get to see everyone reach that first level of maslow's hierarchy.

>>17251445
It's called a Big Sip here in bongland

>>17251459
You want an IRC.

>>17262707
>>17262416
Thank you for saying these things anons, I feel much better now than I did when I wrote the reply :)

GODDAMN IT, I LOVE ASIAN WOMEN!!!
MY 44YO CHINESE GF STILL HAS THE TIGHTEST PUSSY I'VE EVER FUCKED!!!
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Starting to wonder if I might unironically be schizoid

>>17262925
Used to worry about that but supposedly real schizoids don't care if they're schizoids, so I consider it on the same terms as severe treatment resistant depression where you either kill yourself or miraculously find a cure after years of struggling
The idea of 'schizoid' itself is barely sketched out or understood compared to depression or schizophrenia so i'm really still skeptical of it

>>17257116
t. kissless virgin

>>17262707
no, because the amount of incels will only increase

>>17247090
I once so dearly wanted to be loved, that I chased it, but never realized what it was that I even wanted. From that, I found myself rejected (and rightfully so) and I let that yearning die for a time.
Then, one day, someone started loving me, or I should say "loving," without me ever asking. As I got to know her, I found a rekindled desire to be loved, but this time understanding what it was I want. Then she simply... stopped, and I found out that it was a flash in the pan for her, nothing more.
Since then, I decided to set myself completely against the idea that I would fall in love ever again, much less that someone would love me. I rejected the idea, attempted to make it as hard as possible for it to ever come true, and reveled in the certainty of dying alone. I felt, oddly, invincible with the thought that none would cry if I died, but still my mind wondered back to those books I read so long ago, where "love" was spoken of as if it were the Holy Grail.

My most recent read has made me reconsider things. I now recognize how fleeting things can be, even life... even when we want most to hang onto it. I think now, admittedly: as I have thought so many times before, I know how I should proceed. I'll not go scouring the countryside, attempting to find my "soulmate," but I'll certainly not shun someone away just because she's nice to me. I am willing to embrace love. Not climb for it, as if it were above me. Not fall for it, as if it were below me. I'm willing to embrace it, if it comes, and I will hug it with all the warmth and kindness I have left in me.

>>17250725
What are you, Jordan Peterson?

>>17263005
Sex dolls exist dude.
With robotic manufacturing bringing the price down, sex dolls will be available for all incels.

>>17252589
damn, that was a wakeup call for me too man. thanks for sharing

>>17253099
First 100%. Psychologically, our mental state day-to-day is mediated by what we're doing, physically, in our environment. The people around us, the tasks and activities we do, and the places we are all impact our state of mind in profound ways.

I'm not sure if the second one is even possible, and even if it is, it would be much more difficult than the first.

>>17263005
incels are a myth created by extremely online autists reading garbage from manosphere forums

>>17263123
Why not just pay for an escort at that point?

>>17262610
Thanks for the explanation

>>17263202
It is a real phenomenon and subculture. A strange one since its built around virginity and negative self esteem, but a subculture nevertheless. I don't subscribe to their redpill theories and think its more state of mind like you, but they are a real thing since a lot of people identify as the term.

>>17263249
yeah, its a thing, but im talking their theories specifically and the idea that it is 100% impossible for them to get sex which resigns them to a defeatism and bitterness.

all ive seen is constant excuses and fringe broscience. its a destructive subculture imo that encourages men to wallow in self pity or pessimism rather than try to improve. they need better outlets.

>>17263270
it's not 100% impossible for anyone to become a billionaire either

>>17263280
having sex isnt like being a billionaire lmao this kind of shit is what i mean. ive seen fucking goblins get girls. change your attitude and mindset

>>17263280
communism is another defeatist subculture

>>17263231
you're welcome
The feeling that it doesn't make sense won't go away, you just have to read and listen to the language a ton until your brain adjusts to it
The hardest phase in Japanese learning is going from simple sentences to complex ones btw, so prepare for that

>>17263292
That's kinda where I'm at, I actually have a somewhat decent grasp on particles but I keep seeing Na used in weird places and couldn't figure it out. I can conjugate a verb okay too but yeah man getting into conditional statements and more complex description seems like a mess.

>>17263289
In theory you can climb the ranks and become a billionaire, or just a millionaire. That doesn't mean it's likely.

>>17263316
Sentence ending particles can also go on the end of a quoted phrase in Japanese, i.e. something that is followed by と or って which is everywhere. For な there is also obviously な-adjectives. If you're thinking of something other than that and have an example I can try to explain it. Not fluent myself but still

>>17262925
If schizoid is a legitimate term, then I'm certainly schizoid. Whether it is or not, or whether I am or not doesn't make a difference to me though.

>>17263421
Yes, it kinda is. I think they call it schizoid personality disorder.

>>17263421
But you don't google some bs and diagnose yourself. If you are sick, you absolutely have no condition of doing it; and if you are not, it is not like you can easily identify it without studying and you can't jumpout of your own skin to check it out and compare with other people.

writing idea I had and did in one go.
the zoomer

The zoomer.

It is a Monday night in December, what is the zoomer doing? The zoomer is at home, upstairs, in his childhood bed. The zoomer lays in bee surrounded by his laptop, his marijuana vaporizer, his phone, his blankets, his second weed vaporizer, and of course he picked up a nicotine vaporizer, or two.
The zoomer watches youtube videos, while playing on his phone, mind in a world of pixels with a dull background of human voices. The zoomer is lulled.
The time is three in the morning and the zoomer cuddled close to the handheld computer inches from his face. The zoomer scrolls, reads, shares with the memory of goldfish, reopening apps out of pure unconcious muscle memory. The zoomer lives here. Nonexistence is peaceful. But even the zoomer knows what's happening. The zoomer is drowning.
Fake internet personas, inflated internet drama, time wasting games, drugs, loneliness, pornography. Day after day of the same nothingness. The zoomer is drowning in lack of true satisfaction, gasping for air in the ocean of life. The world's salt barely keeps the zoomer afloat, but the zoomer refuses to swim. .

New thread.
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