/lit/ - Literature

What the fuck was that shit? Do you usually "write" pieces that are under 150 words? Why do you think what you wrote is good or interesting? The dialogue is shit, the narration is choppy, and the premise is retarded

>>17224442
Thanks for taking the time to read it. I specifically chose something this short just so people will actually read it. As for the rest, well, it was just vitriolic attacks with nothing I can use to better myself, so I guess I hope you feel better. Cheers

>>17224494
>>17224365
but i mean, you have no idea why? it's a bad joke written too long

>>17224512
So as you read it, it felt unnatural? It was never meant to be a joke, just have an absurd ending. Mostly I just wanted to show that being afraid of certain words in certain contexts is just a stupid, mindless thing to do.

>>17224531
probably then because you are too moralistic. trying to shoe-horn a message into something never makes great art, pc or anti-pc.

I can't tell if you're trolling or if this is an actual attempt at writing. If this isn't a troll, ask yourself at what point this anecdote is interesting at all? The joke isn't funny, it's insipid and quite old. Your writing style is a bit bad but not horrible, but the content is truly retarded.

>>17224537
probably also why you are succeeding when you are not trying.. so continue doing that would be my advice, try less hard, write about stuff you don't think so much about, it seems like you are in your own way.

>>17224537
Ah I see. I had a more moralistic ending (the guy whispering something like "instead of getting your food already chewed try to find hidden truths" or something cringy like that) and I specifically made it into the absurd joke thing to avoid that. I guess I got left with the worst of both worlds, both moralistic and pointless at the same time. Thanks anon, I have things to think about now. Have a great day

>>17224542
I thought it would be interesting to anyone who might self-insert as the narrator in that context and then get "trumped" by a chill, logical argument. It's interesting people see this as a joke and even an old one? I guess I stumbled on some existing joke by accident?
>>17224550
Usually I write fun sci-fi stuff so I think you're right. I think I'll stick to that, I guess. Here's a short example (though I don't think anyone will actually read through it): https://docs.google.com/document/d/11L9uh3HvNodt25oJgNGddbVc6VZunH2eppU_TgpXzwo/edit?usp=sharing

>>17224602
I'm definitely not going to read it after reading your first piece of shit

>>17224655
That's understandable. Thanks for taking the time to write a reply nonetheless. Hope you feel less of a need to be pointlessly aggressive in the future. Have a great rest of your life anon

>>17224561
>>17224602
you too anon, glad I could help :) letting a sense of fun guide you, sounds like how it should be.!

>>17224737
Yes definitely how it should be! I just sometimes wish I had the skill to write about things I legit ponder about in my life instead of escapist fantastical tales. Maybe one day

>>17224365
la dispute rules

>>17224895
What's la dispute anon?

>>17224890
never stop experimenting, you only get better by trying, just let the sense of fun be the prime motivator

>>17224938
they're a rock n' roll band who produced the music video that OP's pic is from

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExaL3xH0IiI

>>17224957
Nice sounds, thanks for the link anon