/lit/ - Literature

did I create an OP so faggy that it was boycotted by fucking 4channel.org?

>>17220144

>>17220555
Three times around spun our gallant ship

Three times around spun she

I've got a wife in Pembroketown, tonight a widow she shall be

Oh that we might spend a single day in this world as it ought to be spent!

at a friends place. it took a long time for us to be good friends. I remember years ago I kept trying to get us to have conversations about real things and failing. Finally I kinda gave up, and we had agreed to hang so I figured I'd go but I thought that would be it. So I stopped trying, and that time hanging was fun. Then we hung out more. I feel like there are rudimentary ways in which we don't click. At the same time there are rudimentary ways in which we do click. I've been hanging at his place for a while now, a couple of days. Sometimes it's pretty fun but there's some fundamental disconnect going on. I do want him as someone I can hang with, but I feel somehow dishonest with him. I feel like... I mean this goes too far but I don't know how else to express it: I feel like he thinks I like him more than I do. I like hanging with him, I like having him as a friend, I like that I can stay with him for a couple of days. But there's just this seed of dishonesty that keeps getting me nervous. I don't know, it's an odd dynamic, where I am happy to be here, just not the way he is, I guess.

>>17220555
not even the adult 4channel

>me last year
"Capitalism must go! It makes life miserable!"

> capitalists: "aww come on anon, don't be like that!, you in the professional managerial class, you're basically one of the boys! How about taking this 401k, and maybe some stock options while you're at it. You know if you keep investing you can join us before you know it!

>capitalists: "Oh dang anon, looks like there's a pandemic, don't worry though, you can just stay at home and play video games instead of working. I'll even ask my friend J. Powell to let you have a turn on the money printer"

>me now
"Maybe capitalism just needs some small tweaks."

Books for this feel?

The whole storming of the US capitol today really put some things into perspective. If only I had an army of 100,000 retards to do my bidding .

I'm trying to force myself to be a normie.

My pronouns are (she/her)

I need book reccs that uplift marginalized, queer, BIPOC and Latinx voices.

Also, new video games and podcasts that deconstruct whiteness, toxic masculinity, and my own internalized transphobia

>>17220144
Found out, through slightly questionable means, that the girl I was talking to is sleeping with another guy. I'm not sure if the anger and disgust I feel is at her actions or mine. Would you guys say that it's fair to follow information wherever it leads, through whatever means, if it leads you to finding out something important about someone you're considering devoting a lot of time and energy to, or is it going too far? I feel like a stalker and am somewhat disappointed in myself despite being glad that I found out what kind of person I was really dealing with

>>17220930
Okay don't. Don't do that.

How true to form is Arthurian fantasy? Why would you engage in deadly jousts and melees when there's war around every corner? Sometimes even having them during war. Were these random battles common? Talk about chasing fame. Good god.

>>17220716
Saving Capitalism by Robert Reich

>>17221003
Almost everyone is a stalker to some extent, especially on social media. Maybe you went too far but as long as nobody is harmed, you gained important information at nobody's expense. No big deal.

Also: Always assume whoever you're talking to is seeing someone else until they tell you otherwise and you trust them enough.

>>17220144
I unironically feel lost. The only thing I have left is a personal project that I want to finish. Two actually, but that's for an other time. Now I want to tell my Eliot Roger like story to the world.

I think I am literally the loser. Like straight from a comedy movie. When i was little I got the terrible grades. I couldn't read more than one page and was always the slowest in pretty much anything. I think it was some form of ADD. Sometimes I stared at a TV without realizing its shut down.

Moving further, my mom always told me I am special which literally made me have that weird complex about me being smart. Probably because she is really insecure about her intelligence. She never explicitly states it but it is obvious. Made me feel good though. It angered her i did bad at school and seeing how she couldn't give rat ass about my feeling I'd say it wasn't all in vain.

Moving on, I barely had any friends during my school years. Just two really in span of what was like 6 years. After that I went to high school and I would say I have been friendless since then unless you count online friends. I also got fat because I used to eat like crazy and got a nasty anxiety disorder. Not counting some weird physical sickness I never bothered to check out. I had to go to the toilet almost every 30 minutes. During classes too which really impacted my popularity as you can imagine. Anxiety caused chest pains too, which was fun. Some days Ive spend hours in class i couldn't leave while questioning like a maniac if I will throw up, piss myself or maybe my heart will go out.

Its also funny how you can't leave this. I went vegetarian because I just couldn't justify eating meat and it helped me lose weight. I actually turned out somewhat handsome. It's off putting to hear though from the same mouth that said that I "shouldn't get anywhere closer to her" by just walking nearby that now I am getting more handsome every day. I just am jaded. Even if girls like me I just can't care. Knowing someone might stick a knife in my back second my looks change made me disgusted.

I feel the same about school grades. In that time I somehow became a good student. My attention improved. But why should I care? Good grades meant being trapped in a room while dealing with anxiety and bad grades meant the same. Nothing changed. I didn't know then and I don't know now. I am 20 by now. I didn't get to any uni. Last year of high school my anxiety returned and I wasn't there for more than 100 hours. My grades dropped too. Not like I ever did homework so that doesn't matter. I found a college of some sorts. It's thankfully a really nice place and I am actually grateful to be there, but man. What did I do in the last years? For people it was a time to have fun, be a careless teen and do dumb but fun shit. I don't even know what I had. I am not even angry. Just kinda confused.

Thanks for reading whatever I wrote though.

>>17221017
Idealistic chivalry and courtly love were invented during the later middle ages so princes could literally LARP as their predecessors, so in some ways the fantastical depiction of that stuff is accurate. Read pic related.

>>17220585
sigh

>>17220144
I have no dick but I must jack off.

>>17220930
Why?

>>17220930
Trust me, normies do not care about these things

Normative perception of the world as the process of the intermingling of various empirical-eidetic constructs

These root in the relations/dasein of eidetic structures

This itself roots out of the sosein of eidetic structure, the capacity to have eidetic structures.

The eidetic structure capacity is the capacity to have processes of rectification/solidification of the various elements that arise by the intermingling of perceptions of self and other

These root in the rectification/solidification of self and other

Both of these arise at once through perception of phenomena, otherness arising out of perception of gross external matter and perception of self from a subtle sense of self which pervades experience. The self conception and conception of other arise at once, designing each other, the self knows it is self by seeing it is not-self by seeing the other. The sense of other knows otherness by sense of self. These occur at once.

Both of the sense of self and other root out of the phenomenological experience of experience itself

Experience arises as particular and solidified elements of the capacity called perception, perception is general, the particular being of perception is experience, the substance of experience is perception.

Perception is a product of and arises at once with consciousness, this is because perception is the capacity of the consciousness to perceive. However consciousness must always be conscious of something.

Consciousness then is the substance/determination/sosein of perception and perception is the dasein of consciousness

Consciousness and being are for all practical purposes from the phenomenological perspective identical, to be is to be consciousness and to be conscious is to be conscious of something. (Thus being=consciousness and consciousness=perception of being)

That which pervades consciousness/ones being is the transcendental ego, this is simply that which determines that this being is this particular being, this consciousness is this particular consciousness.

CONT

>>17221883
Thus the substance/determination/sosein of the consciousness is Transcendental ego (the true self, absolute I.)

The consciousness(and by extension being) can only know being by dividing its own being from its perception of other things, thus the process of intentionality is identical to the process of emptying being of its harmonious self-unity, which is the birth of self-other, perception is consciousness emptying/blinding itself of its singular substance of being in order to perceive a multiplicity of beings and thus experience its own being and the aspects of these beings through experience.

The transcendental ego likewise is the determinant of the consciousness which can only know itself by such a process of division, by this I mean to say, prior to consciousness there is no substantial difference between the material substance/determination of the transcendental ego and all that is not one’s own being, as the transcendental Ego in itself is the determinant of Particular beings and not particular beings, we can thus say that the multiplicity of Being is identical to the unity which we refer to by the term transcendental Ego.

The transcendental ego however does not exist within itself without relation to being, prior to the multiplicity of being it is simply the Real, it only becomes the transcendental ego when it becomes a determinant of being.

The Transcendental ego then is the process by which the Real becomes being, thus the transcendental ego is identical to the becoming/manifesting of Being

But the same pattern exists here also, the Being gains determination from the transcendental ego, the transcendental ego gains determination from the field of all determinants/real substances known as the Real, but is not divided from the real within itself. Rather it knows itself as being Through the process of auto-position.

The Real by mirroring itself, recognizing itself, the one by seeing itself as one, creates the process of becoming-one which is the transcendental ego which is by its nature necessarily arising with consciousness.

Thus auto-position is consciousness.

The determinants of the real undergo auto-position which necessarily must induce intentionality, or to word it without jargon, the Real by realizing it is the Real loses its reality as the real and thus becomes consciousness of its reality by its lack of reality which necessarily must be consciousness of itself and others.

Cont

>>17221890
The Real therefore determines/gives but is itself is not given, it is thus the gives-without-giveness, the Determines-without-being-determined, which is to say, the Nondual unity which is called Sunyata and Ain.

However this nature of giving without being given/giving data determinants without being determined itself once more reveals our same process, the determining without being determined/gives-without-giveness must logically be the particular determination/dasein of its own higher substance, its own higher substance is logically the Ungiven, that purely undetermined of which all that is and is not determined is but a particular fragment and by no means the entire genus.

Beyond this I can think of nothing higher than the ungiven than the root of the ungiven, which must be the divine darkness, the unknowability of Godhead, and by this I mean to say, the Ungiven must be the membrane through which the power of God(which due to divine simplicity is Nondual to all of his other ineffable attributes) manifests into the totality of reality and by reality I mean that dasein nature of gives-without-giveness

Thus the ungiven is a boundless database, a genus, whereas the entirety of the gives-without-giveness is but a singular particular within that broader category.

The broader category of the Ungiven being the membrane through which the ineffable godhead interacts with the Real.

Everyone including me are mentally ill in contemporary space

this capitol shit pretty crazy though, and this is the most lonely I've felt in a long time cuz I have no internet friends to share it with anymore

>>17222861
I'm your friend, friend

I am sad about it all. So many people are saying and thinking such ugly things. That isn't good for the spirit, individually or collectively speaking. People died today. I just want to see lights at the end of the tunnel. A movement of some kind, something that isn't struggling to survive under the full weight of the corrupt establishment. Something that moves forward and has momentum. Why does it have to feel like the odds are 100:1 in favor of evil?

>>17222932
I get what you mean, I have a hard time even imagining any meaningful sort of social movement at this point. Right now I'm mostly enjoying the spectacle though. Since I'm not American it all feels pretty distant even though I know that's wrong.

I always thought I was straight because pretty girls gave me boners.
But I... fapped to gay porn.
As in two guys bumming each other in the ass.
And the worst thing is, I actually liked it.
Guess I'm bi.
Sorry homos, I'm not gonna give you a chance. All the hentai I fapped to was drawn. Actual men are too ugly and masculine for my tastes

I love drinking beer but it instantly gives me horrid acne - same with dairy, noncomplex carbs and basically all sugar. Sucks being a genelet. I just want to drink a few beers and relax but I can't do it without destroying my skin with massinve inflammation. Someone help me see the bright side of this. I feel like I have no outlets for fun: no drinking, no weed, no porn, no masturbating. What am I supposed to do for fun.

It's actually amazing how music can totally change your mood.

>>17223087
same but I keep drinking nonetheless, idk of any solution

I'm finally able to understand art for what it is, all art. It is a desperate subjective attempt to express feeling and describe reality, unrestricted by forms. I had this epiphany in the shower while performing an interpretive dance about one of my recurring maladaptive daydreams while listening to techno.

>>17223094
once I get a real job I might get a low dose of accutane for take for a year or so. fuck having a restricted diet, I can't drink with friends, I can't go out. All I eat is brown rice, meats, nuts, egss, and vegetables. no desserts, no sweets, no fun

>>17223113
That sounds like a lot of fun. I love brown rice, nuts, and vegetables

>>17223109
T.S Eliot says something similar at the end of Little Gidding

>>17220930
Joey?

>>17223180
If it's you I'm sure I don't need to explain who this is. You're welcome to drop me a line. Sorry things went so pear-shaped.

>>17223164
More like Little Niggidd

I'm playing with a card by folding it back and forth in my fingers. I rip a piece of it off and put it in my mouth and form it into a wet ball. I take out the ball and put it underneath my fingernails to clean them, starting from pinky to thumb. Afterwards, I put my thumbnail underneath my pinky nail and I move my thumb up and down to make a clicking sound. Then I put the underside of my thumb nail on my bottom front teeth and press down and back until my teeth are digging into the flesh underneath my nail. I feel the top of my nail with my tongue.

An hour ago I was studying Japanese. For every hour studying Japanese there are 10 minutes spent daydreaming about having sex with Japanese girls. I used to fantasize that the girls were in a relationship with me but I recently had a revelation about myself that made fantasies involving romance unrealistic. Now I fantasize about seeing prostitutes. These prostitutes, however, are deeply impressed by my ability to speak Japanese.
I cannot speak a single sentence of Japanese.

My last girlfriend who I broke up with is now dating a black guy. I feel kinda sad for her in a way.
I put all of her gifts, memories, pictures, etc into a box and stuck it in my attic. I haven't touched it since, but this is the catalyst for me to finally get rid of it.
Good riddance.

I haven't checked my email in weeks and I feel as though a parasitic brain-sucking leech has been yanked out of my ear. This is probably damaging to my professional health but it is healing for my health life. Given the state of the world and of my life, I am under no obligation to communicate with anyone deemed inessential.

how do you cope with being an inconsequential fucking loser? I know "everybody is in the end" but in the meantime I am actually a much bigger loser than most/many people

>>17223428
I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

I feel like things are actually going well for me for the first time in ages. I actually feel motivated; that the world is my oyster. Everything feels, tastes and smells better even. Maybe it's some temporary delusion but i'm happy to take it.

t. my personal blog

>>17222861
Got unfriended by like 15+ people for saying I thought the whole thing was funny and that I'm glad the protest is happening there where it actually matters instead of literally destroying all small businesses in my hometown.

I've never seen the feds this riled up and the psyop this strong. Woke up from having a nightmare about crackdown on the internet

I want to do something more then just make money
This small town is making me feel like I'm missing out on something but I don't know what
I'm thinking climbing into a big vase
I'm thinking about living in a van
I'm thinking about going back to college
I think about getting addicted to opiods
I'm always restless
I'm too busy anticipating what I'll do next to enjoy what I'm doing
I'm still having dreams about her
Its impossible to tell if I'm only living here out of sympathy. She said they're not doing it just to do me a favour, I heard her on the phone in the next room saying they're just doing it to do me a favour.
Each time I see my friends they irritate me more then the last
I miss being detached
I miss not having the remote, I miss the volume being too quiet
I miss thinking I was the chosen one
I miss having a higher calling
I miss stealing my mothers wine
I miss hitting my head on the wall
I miss the bus
Maybe next I'll just sit here

>>17223636
I guess I just thought life would get better when I started putting in effort again

>>17223636
Seems like you don't know where you wanna go, nor who you want to be.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnHoctCDvyw

>>17220627
I struck up a friendship with a guy living in my apartment complex in college. We would do random things and go to bars. We never had anything besides surface level conversation, but I still went to his wedding on a boat. Hes also convinced that I went on a road trip to New York over spring break that year (I tried correcting him multiple times but eventually I gave up) nice guy but I agree, strange dynamic.

>>17223602

Its hilarious watching all the hypocrites turn around. All the blue checks on twitter saying that violence is justified in protest are suddenly horrified when its people they dont agree with doing it.

>>17220144
I hate the concept of gift giving. Its hard to know someones true tastes on a matter and there's often a subtle difference between a 'good' gift and a useless one. Suppose you buy a gift for someone with a particular hobby. Chances are you'll buy something that is either too low quality/entry level for them to use, or you buy them something they already own. It brings a lot of stress on me and it's really a pain in the ass. And being someone of particular tastes, I'm often disappointed by the gift for the aforementioned reasons, but now the onus is on me to reciprocate. All of this to make the Waltons abd Bezos richer than they are!

>>17221307
Really interesting story honestly. Glad you improved, but without that satisfying feeling it's sure to create doubts. It's sounding like you're stuck in some kind of spot. Taking some more time to think or seeing something new might do you some good.

>>17223602
The floyd protests were unironically mostly peaceful though, and they weren't an attempt to hijack the process of a democratic election. Big difference, no matter how many targets were looted.

>>17220000
I've decided my late New Years Resolution is to improve on this aspect of myself and ditch the anxiety I get in conversations. I'll risk making a fool of myself if that's what it takes to stop being so reclusive.

>>17223744
It's more awkward if you're a good gift giver. I have a knack for it where I remember some shit they said they wanted, or see some new product in a line I know they like, or whatever, and think, "So-and-so said they liked this", and buy it. Then, when I give it to them, they gush like nobody has ever given them anything as nice, and frequently cry. That awkwardness can be compounded by other people who have also given them gifts at the same time, and have known them longer and are closer acquaintances and friends being utterly confounded by where this reaction is coming from and why none of their gifts warranted the same reaction. It's really fucking puzzling to me too, because they have normally explicitly told me about whatever the gift is repeatedly, and the best solution I have is their friends literally have not listened to a word coming out of their mouth ever. If it were a once off I could be reasonably sure in that theory, but when it's nearly everyfuckingbody it does not seem plausible.

>>17223757

They were an attempt to loot and pillage over the death of a violent criminal resisting arrest.
Meanwhile this is an attempt to stop mass election fraud. Literally overthrowing tyranny.

See how it just depends on your point of view? There is no objective good and bad reason to protest something. That's why the rules should be the same for everyone. You can't allow one group to commit violence and crime and then condemn the other group, just based on whether you agree with their point of view.

>>17223602
Is this actually trump supporters or antifa. I'm hearing that it's antifa with trump hats as a psyop? Idk what's going on anymore.

>>17223766
I wish you were around to gift me cheese. I asked my parents for some good cheese after they received a really well done gift basket from their church and I got the same kind of cheese that I already had tried from the gift basket and some gouda with bacon in it (yuck)

>>17223744
Buy something with an exchange receipt, pretty easy. Or bottles of wine/alcohol, which they can gift to someone else if they don't drink that much. We have a merry go around of expensive bottles - pretty sure my parents got gifted the same bottle twice which they gave away twice.

>>17223757
There were riots in all 50 major metropolitan areas. Dont let them playing with statistics fool you (they looked at every protest, including all the ones in Nowheresville Alabama to get the 93% oF PrOtEstS aRE PeACeFuL statistic)

>>17223793
No one in my family drinks wine except for me and my mom sometimes. Thats bougie shit

>>17223769
They cant all be Antifa. I think its mostly legitimate, just terrible terrible optics

>>17223805
So buy them liquor...
Go a grade above what you usually drink. It'll cost the same as the shitty barbeque stuff you were going to buy anyhow.

>>17223824
Sorry I mean that they dont really drink

>>17223845
Ok then. Weird to hear that drinking is burgeous.
I'd buy necessities then. New knives, pots, socks, undershirts... All the boring stuff. Buy high quality and few so you don't consooooooooome as much. Stuff that keeps. Honestly in my family we give the kids straight cash and tell them to figure it out themselves lol. If you like crafts make something personal.
Cheeses as another anon mentioned is good. A nice hunk of quality cheese, special sausages, stuff that doesn't pile up as trash in the basement.
The whole gift giving think is consoomer nonsense but people buy into it hard and will get insulted, so we make do.

>>17223872
Thanks for the advice

>>17220144
Even though I have a close group of friends, and a group that I consider to be very close, I don't think I feel connected to any of them. This is true for even the ones that I hold in the highest regard. It feels more like a very specific enjoyment being with them- an enjoyment that I treasured initially, but grew accustomed to over time. I talked with one of them, and told them that, if I were able to, I'd buy each of them a house, and drift out of their lives.

I've felt narcissistic on countless occasions, and I think I only managed to make a countermeasure against that, where everyone I meet is unfathomably better than me in some obscure personality-related way (as opposed to the other way around)

Alternatively, I just don't have as refined of a way of thinking as I had assumed, and so I just got confused and stumbled over what is simply having low self-esteem, and a reluctance to connect to people for fear of the harm it implies. It's incredibly likely that if any of them were to pass away, I'd be very sad.

alright so here's the deal
I'm 29
when I was 18 I had a drug induced psychosis. It altered me. Hard to express how exactly. I wasn't the best guy before, in some ways I think changing protected me from developing into a worse asshole. But what I can say is it made me no longer feel natural in virtually any circumstances. Contrived.
Then at 22 I had a non-drug-induced psychosis. Later I was diagnosed as biploar, although the theory has been floated that I just cracked generally. This left me somewhat ravaged. A little over a year after this event things were not looking good, but better, but then there was a huge fight with my family, with whom I was staying, which for me was a battle for my life. This was a stress that I believe set me back a lot in my recovery.
So now there's now. 7 years later. I'm back in college but with a reduced course-load. I'm expecting to graduate at about 32.
Why am I saying all this
Well what I had on my mind was that today is a day where I am fatigued. And I feel like I should not be, and should not accept that I am, and like I'm being a pussy, and like if I just fought it I could man up and get out of this hole. The problem is I have "manned up" dozens of times throughout the years, and it doesn't work. I fucking wish all it took was some willpower. But if I don't find it, it's like I accept that I am ruled by this voice of weakness, and how they fuck am I ever gonna overcome it then?

I'm gonna go for a long walk. Going for a walk is not the same as resignation.
Thinking about killing myself 99 days out of 100. If I hold out until 32, maybe I can be solid enough that I can have a wife. Hopefully I will not have become too much of a fucking weirdo by then.

>>17223777
>gouda with bacon in it
I don't know why that exists. I could understand back when people wanted bacon in everything, because it was a social meme, but I thought we had tamed that back. Is bacon a thing again? Because everything about that trend should have stayed dead.

cowardice has entangled my heart. im so sick of being afraid all the time yet i do not believe in myself that i can do anything.

>>17223927
Read Jung. Find a trained psychotherapist. Get to the root of what causes your mania/depression. For me it was an unbalanced psyche combined with ego inflation. Good luck, we love you

>>17223938
I know right? Like give me a ribber tire to chew on while your at it

>>17223963
>unbalanced psyche combined with ego inflation
how do you fix that?

>>17223963
>Read Jung
where would you start? I actually bought the big edition of the red book long ago because I had money and I thought it would have some kind of value to me at some future point. that's all I got

>>17220930
just an hero and be done with it. don't prolong the suffering

>>17224028
>red book
kek, that's a the very last book you should read on Jung.

>>17223729
>All the blue checks on twitter saying that violence is justified in protest are suddenly horrified when its people they dont agree with doing it.

I mean is that even hypocrisy? Isn't that just what politics is... supporting the actions of your side and condemning the actions of the other? Are you fucking retarded? You god damn spastic!

>>17223267
Awesome

>>17220716

How do americans (and other countries with a high negro population) cope with the possibility that their future or current gf/wife might have dated a negro?

>>17224240
By doing the same.

I don't understand why I'm predisposed to being detached to this very day. Sure, there was some heavy abuse in my upbringing, but am I really to follow this dreamlike space cadet role forever? My mind is such a pussy

>>17223744
The big brain move is to get into making or crafting something, and use whatever it is you make as gifts. Could be anything from homemade wine to carpentry or some kind of artwork, or whatever, you get me. Always personal and unique and if you find the right thing and get good at it, you never have to worry about what to give people because you'll be working on gifts all year round. Kinda high effort though, I have to admit, but I'm convinced it's the perfect solution for someone who finds the whole gift giving thing to be a struggle

>>17224347
Lack of obligations to keep you grounded means you drift. Start a business, or have a kid or something. Sometimes you have to just start doing stuff and the caring comes later.

FUUUUUCK
I wish I could just bump into a crime scene and die protecting someone, looking like a hero while actually only committing a glorified suicide.

>>17223768
Mostly peaceful and in response to police brutality. But with these very large scale protests you can expect opportunists or some of that energy to be directed to wanton destruction, especially when abusive police escalate the situation.
>is no objective good and bad reason to protest something
Is there an objective good or bad reason to do anything?
>You can't allow one group to commit violence and crime and then condemn the other group, just based on whether you agree with their point of view.
Of course I can lol, though I didn't say anything about violence being good.
>>17223802
Same response. They also categorized any protest as violent, even if that violence was simply a response to unprovoked police brutality, or protests where the violent members where an exceptionally small part. Also the tearing down of statues was many times justified if you ask me. I'd also like to point out that none of this has any bearing on whether the episode at the capitol can aptly be described as terrorism. Not strawmanning you, this is in reference to the terrible boomerbook meme.

>>17223653
It doesn't necessarily get better but it does get less worse. Or, it can. Have to strike a balance between doing rational things to make the worse less, and irrational things to make the interesting parts more.

That said,

I've come peace with this place. 4chan is the divebar of the internet. If you're inclined a certain way, there's nowhere else to be. "Remember, you're here forever." It used to bother me. But, even if (more accurately, when) this place is shutdown by los federales , it's a vibe. It's an energy. It's a part of you. You're always here, even when it's gone. You're always going to be on the fringe, drifting around the eddies that sweep the others up.

>>17220144
I miss my dad so much

I feel dejected and anxious by the state of current politics.
While pop nationalism is obviously flawed, I'm more disturbed by the saturation of mainstream propaganda, and the clandestine unity of parties that are supposed to be politically oppositional.

I wish people would calm down and appreciate that things are relatively nice right now despite their anger.

>>17224582
sorry to hear that anon.
what was he like?

>Go on /pol/ and larp as a chud
>Go on /leftypol/ and larp as a commie
>brilliantly play both sides
>mfw

>>17220716
Capital

I hate myself.
Plain and simple.

>>17220144
It’s all just so fucking tiresome. Working everyday, the dumpster fire that is this countries government. Life isn’t supposed to be like this. I welcome any sort of apocalypse, the luxury of modern life isn’t worth the destruction of the human spirit.

>>17225768
>>17225805
these desu

>>17225841
Well to be fair I was being a bit dramatic, I am tired but it’s not that bad. I also just would rather not work at my current job but I’m working on getting a new one.

>>17223113
Dude, you are literally being forced to be a healthy person, just go with it lmao what are you complaining about.

>>17225979
all our feelings are dramatic anon. I have to leave my job also but I keep making more and more and more reasons to stay

>>17225105
You're the Revolver Ocelot of Mongolian basket weaving forums.

Hahaha all the twitter people are celebrating that the Capitol protesters are getting identified and fired. The mother and veteran who was killed is being mocked. The vitriol is amazing, the entire media and the whole technocrat petite bourgeoisie is joining hands to celebrate the triumph of "civility." Wealthy acquaintances texting from their boyfriend's parents' summer home laughing that a bunch of MAGA chuds got executed by the BASED security state, and now we can finally work toward our socialist utopia where we watch The Young Turks and still tweet about Medicare for all in 2075.

I hope they keep going, I hope they make the absolute most out of the next 4 years. I am very glad they won in Georgia and got the majority. Let's see them at their absolute best. Let's have four years of humiliation and nattering and condescension, and then have the fucking Republicans try to run some milquetoast quasi-woke gay Latino nu-conservative with a few populist platitudes as a compromise candidate who satisfies nobody and who obviously has no chance of winning, so that the prospect of another ten election cycles of Democrat nattering and humiliation looms in people's minds. I want more CELEBRITIES nancying me and saying "Ummm sweetie? Regret voting for populism yet much? :)" Thanks, fucking ACTOR. Thanks, ACTOR, for telling me your fucking opinion as an ACTOR. Why don't you tell me how you're proud to be partnered with Bisquick Chocolate Syrup and talk in a droning monotone with some TV host about what you think we should do about the economy and the fifteen wars in the Middle East, ACTOR? Maybe if I subscribe to your instagram I can be the lucky winner and come and eat hipster sushi tacos with you in San Francisco, that's called being politically engaged. Tweet more saucy political opinions, fucking ACTOR. Tell me again Democrat television what the ACTOR thinks. Tell me what LADY GAGA fifty year old woman in her cartoon tranny mulatto sparkler pants thinks about which millionaire businessman I should vote for in the next election because they're brown and queer. I can't wait for the next text from my acquaintances the polyamorous couple who are alternately staying at their parents' summer beach homes about what memes are the silliest and what the latest hot hashtag political topic is. I hope this goes on for years and years to come, this is the world they want and it's here to stay forever, this is the end of history. The end of history is a polyamorous rich girl on mood stabilizers shitting on people from "flyover states" while tweeting solemnly about Medicare for all. If you're reading this and you're a communist you need to weed your garden.

>>17226222
>all our feelings are dramatic anon. I have to leave my job also but I keep making more and more and more reasons to stay

Yeah I really wanted to leave my job like midway through last year, now I’ve got a million reasons to stay, man I hope I figure my shit out soon. I don’t want to sit at a desk for the rest of my life

>>17227034
what type of job are you looking for?

>>17226689
>still caring at all about politics in current year

Now or never boys, now or never.
I wish you best of luck.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxW2Hits0lA

>>17223810
>terrible optics

geez, wonder whose in charge of those

>>17227239
I’ve applied to some fire lookout positions, it’s stupid as fuck but I romanticize those kinda jobs idk why

what is on my mind is I wonder what is on Trumps mind today, ironically his first day off twitter

>>17227413
MSM doesn't need to misrepresent anything in the least to make you look like the bad guys

>>17228019
>what is on Trumps mind today
The screeching maelstrom of the abyss

>>17223769
These are Visigoths. Look at the fur.

>>17220144
Everyone is absolutely worthless losers with no convictions what-so-ever and it all stems from those God damned Chinese baubles. Let me explain; see the thing is everyone has a big old soap box that they get up on when the have to fill the inevitable void of their miserable lives. Some talk of the "old America" and how we're selling out, holes usually ramble on about the environment or women's rights, weak men carry on entirely too long about the plight of poor (assumed brown) people they spent their whole life craftily avoiding. In any case, what I've found is all the mindless masses end up finding themselves in direct contradiction once their addiction to Chinese dog shit plastic products come into play. The "good American" can't resist fucking over his local economies by gobbling up that cheap Chinese product. The hole can't help herself and her addiction to technology, so she directly and passionately funds the massive Chinese slave labor system (and God know what hell some real woman went through to make her garments). The weak beta male is so hopelessly addicted to consumer pipelines and technobabble products that 10% of his wage might as well be a tithe for Lord Bezos. Yet these absolutely insufferable voids of humanity will endlessly complain about the problems of the world which are directly financed through their obsession with cheap Chinese baubles. I wish I could just laugh at it all but I'm some kind of retarded idealist like everyone else in the mind warped psy-fucked millenial generation. At the end of the day all I can think is that the creation of the schizo-typical American is the handywork of the devil or the cold deceitful plan of the Rand corporation or whatever think tank NGO worked out the best buttons and levers to pull to ceate the optimal confused cattle consumer. Is that it? We're just going to strip mine the whole planet into a dump so we can exchange phones, plastic movie product tie-ins, and absurdist kitchen products?

>>17228193
Based

Forgive the tweet screenshot, I don't use twitter, but more publishers banning books. This guy is a senator who voted the wrong way re the election, so his "voice" is not right for a major publisher.

>>17228193
PREACH

>>17228055

God what a midwit take.

>>17220627
Many people get into this dynamic. Sounds like the typical "work friend" or "college friend" that is a few missed phone calls away from never returning to your life. I enjoyed your description of it.
>>17221003
What was once stalking is now the spirit of the times
>>17221307
Bro you're unironically going to make it. You have 10 years to develop. Like a rich broth. Don't waste it like so many people but don't worry if you burn a couple years. Slow and steady. Chin up, it's a weird world out there. Also if you're in America it's a uniquely strange place and I find some people flourish if they try out a new country (just like many immigrants reinvent themselves here). You've got plenty of time to work that out before you're 30.
>>17223744
As the other anon stated cookware is always a good one. I notice many people who are big spenders on their house or maybe a car tend to have terrible cookware. Typical housepoor or lease raped Americans. Don't underestimate basic bitch stuff like nice socks, lounging sweatpants, scarf, etc if you're in an area that gets cold. I swear everyone buys terrible socks and utensils. Especially knives. How do they cut meat?

>>17228590
He could publish it literally anywhere online for free, oh wait I forgot crap like this is just an extension of marketing and advertising.

>>17226689
They're all actors, anon. Even the "politicians"

Read Debord and Baudrillard

>>17220930
>wants to be normie
>by getting into mental illness hobbies

>>17228644
it's plain to see that it's bad optics

>>17220144
I have finally decided to do nothing. Absolutely nothing whatsoever. After years of torment from indecision as to what to pursue, I simply give up. When I started college in 2014 I wanted to learn to code, I wanted to learn a foreign language (too many to choose from), I wanted to learn math and philosophy, I wanted to learn piano, I changed my major 7 times during college. What a fucking conundrum all this shit is. I have no interest in anything other than music and reading.

>>17220144
I wish I could master the kind of "quirky" "offbeat" writing style that goes into funny Tumblr posts and the occasional Twitter gimmick. (Usually ones like re-captioning TV shows to say something silly.)
It's one of those things that looks really easy, that's probably scorned as being a cheap hack thing for cheap hack writers, but I don't care. I wish I could do it. But no matter what I read, it's not something I intuitively understand. Whenever I am funny, it is usually because I fucked up one of my unfunny jokes in a way that made it funny, and even then that's a different kind of comedy. (Saying something that makes people laugh vs making funny words happen in text.)

>>17228834
>I have no interest in anything other than music and reading.
That's your sign to wrap the 4 year degree and become a high school teacher eventually muster up the strength to teach at a community college. At least with this path you will have healthcare and a salary above retail/service industry. It's okay anon, many suffer a worse fate. This path also allows you to choose wherever you want to live in the country.

>>17228826
too much good optics = misplaced faith in the GOP

imagine if instead of thinking trump was luke skywalker, the Q fags directed their millennarian energy toward just straight hating politicians who don't represent them

>>17229007
>too much good optics = misplaced faith in the GOP
maybe it's because english is my second language but I'm not sure what you meant by this
>the Q fags directed their millennarian energy toward just straight hating politicians who don't represent them
To what end? To me it seems this little escapade will just help in continuing to make the american right even more fractured and irrelevant in the coming years.

/a/ mods are actual Nazis.
They have a stick the size of a Sequoia up their ass.

I feel like suiciding because recent events have made me think existence is like a massive multiplayer battle royale that someone is playing to win, and whenever you're kept alive in one of those it's usually because you're weak competition.

>>17229246
That is true but your thread is still shit

I've started to pick up writing again after a long time. It feels good, and it is a nice way to get things on paper that have been collected in my mind during a very lonely lockdown. It stops becoming fun when I think of making a career out of it though, which I do with any creative endeavor I start to take a mild interest in. For a long time I was very adament on making a career as an illustrator, and then suddenly it all faded. None of my drawings are really as good as they could be, and this is due to the incredibly pointless pressure I put on myself to create something that is worthwhile and shoot me into artistry. I am so afraid I will never become the person I want to be, that all my efforts to cultivate this potential reality is only met by a racing head and a penetrating heartbeat that stops me in my tracks. Making art isn't fun for me anymore, even though it is the only thing that I truly imagien myself doing, that of course includes making a living writing. Writing thus far has been fun, and I have experienced very few hiccups along the way. The only thing that truly holds me back is that moment of silence before I actually start writing, a web of ruminations that only gets more entangled until the point I sit down and write. At this point my nerves calm and my heart isn't screaming as loud, but these are certainly still present. I'd say that beginning is the hardest part, but forging your way through can sometimes be much more crippling, especially when you aim for beauty. Art thrives in decay at first, that's why you shouldn't take yourself so seriously. Beauty comes later, first just let yourself loose. Take a risk. Create something that nobody will ever care about. Fuck it, who cares? A life not lived is a life not lived, if you catch my drift. Even still, I experience this lack of soul within most of my art myself, even to this day. I set such ridiculously high standards for myself that I am not even focussed on the joy of art itself. I am desperate to regain my soul, like I once had. I know I am much better than this, but then again, this is also a standard. I have thought of traveling for a very long time, and actually secretly hope I will have a reason never to return home, this hollow place.

Might go teach English in Asia

>>17229468
Teach them not to torture animals like cartoonish evil orcs while you're over there

>>17229480
Only if you teach the same here.

A big casualty of modernity was the centralization of recipes. You don't see them created anymore, passed down among families, iterated on as generations pass, and ingredient availability, tastes change. They were replaced by the internet, blogs who claim a recipe they're peddling is some leftover remnant of a long familial history, a fragment of an original idea, kept preserved in its original form. But the blog is run by Bon Appetit, and is a subsidiary of Conde Nast, who themselves are a subsidiary of Advance Publications. What they're peddling is not a recipe, instead it's a science experiment, built upon and bastardized in a NYC food laboratory, who determined the best possible flavor profile to fit current trends, tastes. A perfect dish.

Of course, they don't tell you this. No, the recipe with questionably modern techniques, using equipment never dreamt of in the old world, which you can whip together in 20 minutes, is most certainly authentic. Don't forget the spices from the east, inspiration from Latin America, meat from the west, a Frankenstein of culture. Then, could these recipes become the "new tradition", the new iteration? No, because what is there to iterate on? It's already a perfect dish - what needs to be changed? It was scientifically designed to be as broad and accessible as possible. In a culture that encourages perfection and refinement, what changes can you make? There's nothing to change. It will be the same forever.

Which I guess leads to my main point - our idea of food as being this static thing is horribly misguided. The "cuisine" of countries was never a set course of staple dishes (though, of course, these existed), but rather a set of transient ideas that changed and adapted with time. Seasons come and go, plants live and die, animals breed, multiply, and scatter. Rich, poor times came and went. These dishes were static - they changed. They were made what what was had on hand, and as new spices, ingredients arrived in an increasingly connected world, they changed. They adapted.

I believe this desire to "create" what our ancestors did stems from a longing to connect with the past in a very real way. The idea of sharing in the sacred bond of eating, cooking with our ancestors through time, by sharing the same dishes is undoubtedly beautiful and resonant. But at it's core, it's a flawed idea - our food will never be theirs. Their tongues will never be ours. We've adapted through hundreds of years of changing tastes, culinary ideas, and while there may be a longing to connect with them in something as intimate and real as a classical, historical dish - I believe your efforts to connect will be in vain. Except, perhaps, with the simplest of dishes. A cup of tea. A wild berry, picked from a tree. A loaf of bread, baked in your home, for all of time to smell.

>tfw no gf

>>17229341
I feel you. I actually stopped committing to writing because I had a bit of a mental breakdown about the harmful ways writing and fiction could be used.

Sort of like how art has a reputation of being used to launder money.

>>17229926
This.

I have a physical copy of 13 Reasons Why that I want to read now that I'm cozy in my bed but I can't because that would disrupt my coziness. Why did I listen to you about physical books being better, e-books seem to rule?

left to write. right to left.

>>17229926
same oh god it hurts

How can i overcome the anxiety of writing that I'm a sociable person on my job application when I know I'm not a sociable person? How can I overcome the anxiety of writing that I'm a professionally skilled person when I know I'm not skilled?

These two anxieties prevented me from writing job applications for over a year now. I can't lie nor pretend to be someone that I'm not. I know that as soon as they'll interview me they see that my application was full of lies. I'm neither sociable nor skilled and I can't lie and I don't think I can pretend. It's all so hopeless. It feels so wrong to write an application that I know is based on a person that I'm not.

>>17230338
You'll never even get to the interview stage without including that kind of bullshit on your resume. Obviously the most important part is actually having the skills they want, but doing the proper HR song and dance is important too. It's all bullshit but there's no avoiding it, you just have to swallow your pride and give them what they want.

As he stood staring at the identical 7 brands of ginger ale pondering which was the best, Birk became suddenly aware that this was life -- walking down the block to buy ginger ale -- and that everything else, all of his accomplishments, his hopes, his dreams, his moments of ecstacy and grief, was just seasoning so as to provide each day's meal with subtle variation and the hint of excitement. But if the food beneath was unpleasant, or unpleasant to the eater, no number of spices and herbs could do much good. Some men are served a fine cut of marbled beef each day yet eat with apathy, while others greedily devour their offal as if this were the very first and very last meal they would ever eat. Still others have long since stopped eating dinner.

>>17230393
I know that I have to write it in the resume but I'm so afraid of getting exposed in the interview. Actually I'm afraid that I can't hold down any job. I think I'm too broken at this.

>>17230455
Reread everything you wrote and please take notice how you are torturing and undermining yourself. I don't know exactly how to help you I'm assuming you're young 20's? This part of your brain should be mellowing by now you're entirely too critical of yourself. I don't see how you can triumph with such low opinion of yourself. Relax anon. The whole world is retarded. Accept that you'll fuck up a couple interviews and life is littered with these awkward (and ultimately brief and meaningless) exchanges. It gets better if you accept these things.

I'm trapped in a cycle which I know is no good for me, but cannot muster the strength to break. It's so silly to the point of being embarrassing. This is because it is something of my own making and exists entirely in my computer and phone.

I use twitter a lot. I use it to follow journalists, academics, entertainers I like, my favorite sports teams, and some 'comedy' accounts. I do a lot of shitposting and interactt with some people I know from real life who are pretty smart and funny. However, in addition to the common problem of hopelessness which stems from becoming acquainted with the true depths of the world's bleakness through being on that hellhole (albeit in a very indirect and curated fashion) it has affected me on a more particularly emotional level.

I have a "mutual" who I hooked up with once some years ago. It started out with her favoriting some of my tweets after which I deduced that she went to the same uni as one of my good friends whose house I often partied at. I went down to one of these parties and, sure enough, she was there. We started talking and within minutes we were rather gracelessly making out. We continued in this way and talked to each other for hours and I got her number before she left. We made plans to see each other again, but nothing came of it.

Many things have transpired in the intervening years: I've had steady employment in a few different jobs, had several sexual partners and a serious long term relationship, got an advanced degree, moved into my own apt.- all markers of a person who is moving forward in their life.

When I broke off the aforementioned long term relationship, I was pretty well convinced that I was not cut out for a "regular" relationship. The girl I was with was a very nice person, but we were ultimately incompatible and I began to really resent her. I realized that I have foibles which make me difficult to be with and didn't enjoy many of the trappings of having a girlfriend. Moreover, my goals in life made it difficult to find somebody worth dating, so I willingly accepted that I would probably be single for a very long time, if not for the rest of my life.

While all these things transpired in my life, in the background was, and still is, this silly twitter habit. And a key feature of this is receiving "likes" and interactions from this girl I hooked up with all those years ago. Each time she shows up in my notifications I feel a little spark. I allow myself to indulge the ludicrous thought that she still remembers that night as fondly as I do. Whenever I reflect on it for more than a few minutes, I realize how absurd it is. But I'm also forced to confront my own loneliness. And I am overwhelmed by a lament for many things: the ignorant optimism of youth, a world before Trump descended the escalator and Black Lives Matter, a time where I could summon innocent excitement for a woman.

I read in hope to find a passage which will cure me

>>17230992
just do the monkey anon, keep thrusting and don't stop

>>17230839
Nicely written although I wonder if you're one of those types who will daydream up stories like this that legitimize the banality of it by kinda pseudo-transcending it and ultimately you'll be pushing 40 still thinking about some broad on twitter from 15 years ago

Seen it happen

Is there a more odious video on the internet
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_0lxMYaCPo

>Why do people hate us?? I know, I'll show that it really IS exactly the smug condescending exclusive country club they say it is!

And you wonder why your people have had some issues, Bill

I dont feel good.

>4chan
i'm way too old for this shit

>>17230269
the girl doesn't look happy at all

I am finally of the mind pornography has gone too far. Is there any writing on this that does not come from a redpill mgtow or Christian fundamentalist position?

>>17230576
I'm 28 and got my masters in humanities last year. It's one of those masters that doesn't really prepare you for a job, a result of bad life choices and other issues. In short, I don't know what kind of job I would even acquire with this degree as I do not know my job skills and my social abilities are autism tier. The kind of autism that only works with master of science degrees to get one of those kind of jobs. And I'm too tired of everything to start a new study now or learn new skills by myself. Maybe you're right and I should just say fuck it and give it a shot. Like, whatever. Next step is homelessness anyway.

>>17231486
What made you think this?

>>17221307
you're like 20 so there's a long way to go, trust me. you're going to be fine. provided you genuinely want to be fine. good luck, anon.

>>17220144
How's orange juice so expensive if it grows on trees?

>>17231645
little known fact but you can actually only get one glass of orange juice from a single tree, then they cut it down and plant a new one. think that's why it's called extra viergin

>be slow reader
>talk to a friend that i know reads books fairly regularly
>find out that he manages to read at almost twice the speed that i do
>ask him how he does this
>oh i just skim through chapters i don't like or skip entire paragraphs anon
is this common practice? like don't people feel like they are missing important stuff? fairly regularly i don't fully understand what's going on or what's the book trying to tell me so i re-read the page from scratch
the only time i can consider skipping a couple of lines is when the author is blatantly ejaculating lexicon out of its own ego and even then it'll be like 20 words at best.

>>17231645
Trees need to consume a lot of wildlife to survive, much more than people.

>>17230839
In our lives we have a choice to be men of action or men of passivity. Take the plunge; message the girl. Twitter is not real, but you are. Do not wallow in uncertainty.

>>17231736
i reread shit and slow myself down on purpose so i can actually think about what i'm reading. 'speed reading' was always a stupid meme

>>17231736
I read incredibly slowly compared to many. I stop, re-read, take notes as often as necessary. It might be a genetic handicap or something undesirable, but if it leads to better understanding and work, it's obviously the better route to take.

>>17230839
To live alone one must be an animal or a god.

>>17231645
The prices for 100% orange juice have actually gone down from what I remember, but something that is (claimed to be) totally natural will always have higher price due to limited resources, made even more limited (read: more expensive) by climate changes and diseases. Then there's potential issues with storage, since you can't just shove in sugar and preservatives to keep it fresh for longer time.

Feel like the SJW/tranny/LBGT++ shit is just this generations goth kids and that we fucked up bullying the goths/emos too much.

I hate pornography and masturbation,this shit makes my life worse,no question about it.Theres this girl on reddit whos posting stuff progressively more risqué and I keep thinking about it every time Im awake like some mouth drooling degenerate.I havent read for days and cant concentrate when I do so,Im ten pages short of ending this chapter but I cant read without wanting to touch my dong,I havent practiced the guitar seriously for more than a week and I was seriously thinking about uploading a video of myself cumming on this girl's image to reddit,I even made an account.That wouldve been the lowest Ive ever reached in my hedonistic(and pathetically artificial) pursuits

>>17224845
He had a lot of problems, but he was always... vivacious. My dad was a symbol of life, as corny as that sounds, and he's just... gone. He was a farrier, so he always smelled of burnt hair, no matter what (it's my comfort smell). He was always outside, with powerful arms and tanned face. In my memories he's always wearing a black t-shirt, and jeans, and his big red workboots, always half in and half out of the house. He was smart, and creative and so full of energy. He was always working, or doing new projects- inventing and building things just for the joy of it, and in the background, there was always a learning channel on for him to walk past and catch snatches of. He had bad sides too, he was emotionally incompetent and angry, but he liked to joke too, and he listened (even if you didn't know it) and he tried very hard to be a good father. He never made me feel inadequate, or like my interests were stupid, or that I had to change (which wasn't always good) but still.
The worst part is, he isn't even dead, but he might as well be. I even went through a very rough mourning phase, already. He's just a ghost of himself. He lives in a tiny apartment and does nothing all day. He can't work, he's just depressed and lonely and won't even try to change it. I tried to make him get a dog (he didn't), I used to send him books as often as I could (he barely read them, if at all), I made him promise me to get a plant to take care of (did nothing), I tell him to just buy paper and a pen and write. I don't know how else to help him. He lives in the states, and I live in Germany. He wants me to visit, but I don't have the money, and honestly, I'm ashamed to say I don't want to see him. I'm afraid what he'll look like. I imagine pale, papery skin and a skeletal body. White hair. Shuffling and moaning as he moves. The exact opposite of what he was and what he's supposed to be. I miss him so much.

>>17231879
What happened to him?
Anon, you ought to see your father as you never know when it could be the last time. Even if you dont know what to say or afraid to see him even being there will be enough.

need silky chink feet down my throat asap

One of the things I want to do in the latter half of my 20s now (I turn 25 on Sunday) is become more decisive and confident. I feel like a lot of the time I worry about being wrong because then it means if I get it wrong I open myself up to somebody pointing that out and so I don't like to make any decisions at all. But as of lately I've felt like making a decision, even if it turns out bad is better than trying to keep things from changing around me (as change is, after all, inevitable).

I'd also like to take more risks in terms of presenting myself in terms of my true thoughts and feelings. I feel like a lot of the time I hold back too much because I feel like I don't want to risk offending anyone, but the effect of that is that it keeps me from forming really deep connections with people unless I am willing to show that side of myself (I've noticed I do this with girls a lot).

He just got old. Being a farrier is hard work, and he used to smoke a lot. His body has just broken down and he physically can't work anymore, and it's made him depressed.
I know, I'd swallow my fear and visit him, because the idea of not seeing him again before he dies is unbearable, but I legit can't afford it. Forgetting covid, I live off of 400 a month. There's no way in hell I can afford a plane ticket.
If I ever get a phone call that he's dying, I'll have to clean out my emergency funds to visit him (and I will), but it's not something I can just do whenever.

>>17231875
>I was seriously thinking about uploading a video of myself cumming on this girl's image to reddit,I even made an account
Knowing that it is a purposeless and fruitless act? There's literally no point to doing this besides to say "fuck you, ho," lest you're some kind of retarded exhibitionist. Nobody cares about male exhibitionists.

>>17231999
I'll be completely honest with you. There's a not irrelevant chance that your dad will peacefully die in his sleep around his 60s to 70s. You won't get a phone call from the hospital telling you to come quickly unless he catches covid. You better go visit him as soon as you can afford it, or the thought of ever not doing it will gnaw on you forever. I speak from experience, not saying that it'll happen to yours as well but it's better not to leave it to chance.

I finally have her. She gently rests on my shoulder, her pristine skin next to mine. I have given love to the girl whom I desired for so long and I feel empty. Awfully empty. This twilight I witness from my window is the most miserable spectacle I have ever laid my eyes upon. I feel utterly alone in this cruel and uncaring universe. I have fucked, I have quenched my deep thirst all in the name of gaining some grain of satisfaction from it, and yet for all that effort, I have gained nothing but a glaring clarity. That it wasn't worth it, having her, making love has not brought me a shred of happiness. I should like to have stayed a virgin, alone in my tiny room...but at least I had hope back then. Now, there is no redemption, there is nothing. I give up.

>>17232032
did you expect something different?

>>17232032
sorry the pussy didn't change your life anon

>>17232044
I expected to be happy, anon. I suppose I must have expected too much

>>17231655
goddamn i think you're right

>>17231740
real shit?

It's actually very absurd how many rightoids think ''the system'' consists of virtue signaling corporations or trannies in video games, and on the basis of this call lefties part of the establishment. Like right out of a piece of social satire.

>>17232064
It's perfectly orchestrated by corporately owned media that the attention goes to transgender people (who represent an infinitesimally small percentage of the population) and a focus on "culture war" rather than improving material conditions for working and middle class people in this country.

>>17220144
I think I'm becoming schyzo.
I've been making myself believe that I communicate to this girl through the collective subconscious while dreaming.

At this point ik its bs, but it goes so far as falling asleep waiting to dream about her.

The worst part with that is that I have a gf that I love very much.

>>17232109
You're not schizophrenic, you just crave emotional intimacy

>>17232064
The system does, indeed, consist of virtue-signaling -- I'm not sure how one could deny this obvious fact. It's done for profit motives.

People on the "Left" are, also, part of the establishment because they engage and encourage consumer culture. However, that's not to say that the Right is exempt from this. Both take part in the technological system and their sects of the consumer system therein.

>>17232101
I'm beginning to think the improvement of "material conditions" is an unfounded lamentation in light of how much people now have, and have grown to have, over the decades. If the system could, indeed, grant all of the supposed lack of such conditions AND keep people consuming, it would, but the incentive to do is lacking for it -- and it's not hard to see why when technology is displacing the worker; technology, by the way, lauded by both consumer and anti-consumerist alike.

>>17232018
You're right. I will visit him, that's always been the plan, but maybe I'll try a little harder. Thank you for your ear, anon.

>>17232032
that's what you get for putting something so ultimately unimportant as your god. idiot.
I would have pity on you, but you did this to yourself, and I've spent too much time on the internet listening to incels and niceguys. Sex is just sex. Is it fun? yes. Is it important for your your health? yes, arguably. Does it have meaning? No. It's just sex. You built up this entire fucking fantasy world where getting your dick wet is this glorious cosmic event that'll solve all the problems in your life. Fuck off.

nobody replied to my post :(

What was his problem? Is he misunderstood or overrated?

STOP TELLING ME TO KILLMYSELF YOU FUCKIN/ADV/ - Advice

>>17232152
By improvement of material conditions I mostly mean effectively utilizing our mass amount of wealth (like you said, how much people now have, although I'd argue that a lot of that is concentrated still in the hands of a small amount of people) in order to ensure things like healthcare, housing, food, etc to people who need them.

Like you said, technology is displacing workers, but in an ideal world that technology would be used so that less people have to work and there would be more time to pursue whatever they wanted to do. Instead all the technology is doing is providing an extra competing factor for human workers. You're correct in saying that the technology is lauded by both sides because the technology itself isn't necessarily the problem (although I'd argue in some cases like social media it's been a disaster for social atomization and in general a sort of mass social anxiety), it's the way it's being utilized.

Like you say the incentive in a system based around consumption to both meet material needs and keep people consuming is lacking -- that is why it is necessary that the system be changed.

>>17232032
sad

>>17232001
It was her who uploaded a pic on a limpdicked cumtribute subreddit.
It still is purposeless and will ultimately make me feel like shit,but I cant help but get aroused thinking she might like seeing me cumming on her pic.Im also bigger than those fat redditors

>>17232152
Sure, but the point I was making was about the retard argument you sometimes see here that lefties, who still want to abolish the capitalist class, aren't meaningfully challenging the status quo because they like the alphabet people and facebook had a rainbow icon for pride month. How these people can't hold more than one thought in their head at once. There's a bunch of shitty wojaks on that theme I never saved.

plane mission in gta#4025
i'm bored
someone talk to me

>>17232032
Did you expect all your problems to magically go away just because you have a gf lmfao

>>17232844
dont incels believe in that?

talking is an activity
it is active
it is carving a path in reality

that's why I don't like it. I want as little of a silhouette as possible. whenever I used to act, things just went bad. better to leave no imprint if all you do is fuck up all the time.

this can not be life though. certainly life is active. I gotta go back to what went wrong and live with it instead of let it rule me as I have. Big task.

>>17223602
I live protests and the best protests are direct d at the gov, but these guys went in to kill politicians which is terrorism in the modern definition, and they were protesting from a dumb shit viewpoint so wasted the opportunity.

Basically if this was done again but nobody was trying to kill people, and there was a clear goal which existed in reality, like an actual working class uprising and revolution, then it would be worthwhile.

People saying libs are hypocritical about this are being myopic because of the angry tears in their eyes.

>>17231740
Yeah, orange trees are voracious. I saw one take out a full size heron the other day. The heron was just flying by, but it got too low— maybe it didn't see the orange tree—and the tree reached out and devoured it whole.

>>17229595
This is why I eat like a 17th C warlord with coastal access.

I grew up in a very tight knit religious community. Basically all white, working class. Good people. Left because a single jew wormed himself into it and ruined the whole thing.

Been outside in the "secular" world for almost a year now and I wish I could go back. It's so lonely and isolating out here. Work doesn't matter even tho it pays well, no family, friends, no joy. Just grey soviet capitalism.

I'm not in danger of being homeless, but I can't cope without drugs now.

A literal doomsday cult had less gaslighting and thought control than basic american culture. I want to get the fuck out of this shit country

I'm going to kill myself.

>>17233313
I'm sure this one "jew" was what brought down your doomsday cult lol

>>17233443
Why?

>>17233443
Based. I wish i could do the same but i'm too much of a coward.

>>17233464
There's just no chance of me having a happy or fulfilling life at this point

>>17220144
I just want to let life roll me where it will go till i can die in peace.
Im obviously unhappy overall without a drive. When will one pop up? I am living in the moment, thinking nothing of the future, yet no drive shows up.

>>17233476
Why is that?external circunstances or not?

In the child's mind there are many possibilities, in the adult's mind there are few. We must always strive to maintain our child's mind.

>>17233566
Basically had a very happy life with a large extended family, constantly having events and weddings, parties. Knew everyone and constantly saw everyone. Real happy times, huge social life.

Long sorry, but I'm not included in that anymore because I have gender dysphoria. Thinking about repressing that part of my personality and going back, but either choice feels like I'm dead inside, either through social isolation, or body dysmorphia. Not meming about this or anything

>>17233694
Cant say I know what youre going through.Ive grown more and more critical of transgender people because of how they show themselves on the web,constantly thinking about how they are perceived by others,be it the way they speak,the way they walk,dress or act.That seems really hard and painful.
I also have a happy and comfortable life,I think being dissatisfied with oneself is the worst,disliking yourself and not believing you can change.Maybe we have that in common,hang on and think things through

Dreamt again of fucking my nonbiological cousin whom I've not seen for over 8 years or so. I blame the fact that their family was extremely religious.

>>17220716
Basic Economics unironically

>>17232018
I wish my mom died in her sleep. I'll be haunted by those 6 months forever. It was so bad it's hard to think of her without being teleported right back into that butcher shop- I mean hospital. This in itself brings me shame because I can't really remember all the good about her without it sending me down that path. So I bury it down and try not to think of her much which whenever I stop and think on it feels shameful. Its like she died and then i mudered her again. I'm robbed of her memory even it seems. Listen: doctors are liars and never believe the "hope" they sell. It's like that line in my dinner with Andre where he is describing his dying mom and how each specialist can only see what they're trained in: "he couldn't see my mom wasting away. He could only see the arm".
>>17232064
I mean you realize that almost everything is misunderstood nonsense at this point? That the words you're using mean completely different things to the "chuds" who in their venecular Kamala Harris is a "leftist." They mean "neoliberalism" but that is leftist these days to them. I am personally offended by how language has been altered the past 10 years. It's an affront to the English language.
>>17232213
What was it? I'll humor you.
>>17233694
So you were happy with the family and friends circle before you came out as trans? I'd like to hear more about that period. What was worse, keeping that down or losing the family? Ultimately I don't think you can ever go back and that's why you're in so much pain, but what I'm trying to get at is was it really that great before?

>>17234440
>but what I'm trying to get at is was it really that great before?
I mean, I can hardly function now. Can't work without breaking down from the stress, literally don't have anyone to talk to, no doctor, can't afford mental health stuff. Can't even make it though a work day without self harming now

Just in terms of mental health and overall wellness, I'm significantly worse than this time last year. Probably won't make it through the winter without blowing my brains out or bleeding out in the tub

>>17234565
Jesus. If you expressed this to your family they wouldn't take you in? How old are you? Are they religious?

>>17232064
https://www.scribd.com/document/400207341/The-System-s-Neatest-Trick-Ted-Kaczynski
Read this and realise how much of a sheep you are

Smiling, sitting in my warm, sunny room sipping coffee and listening to my indie pop playlist. Life is good, and I don't mean *my life* is good, I mean life is intrinsically good, and this is coming from a guy who two years ago would have been writing cringe posts on /lit/ about wanting to kill himself.

>>17234619
I'm 24. They are really reli. Don't feel like I can talk to them, they've had me exorcised multiple times. If I go back now, I'll never hear the end of it, prodigal son and all

I've had really bad mental problems every single winter since 2008, but they've never been this bad because of covid and not knowing anyone outside the community I grew up in. Haven't even met my coworkers in person since I work from home, and they are 90% of my social interaction nowadays

>>17232215
I think he was rated

>>17234644
What led you to this point, or did you just get lucky?

>>17234645
Sounds like you're having seasonal affective disorder. I don't have a history of it, but since like this december or so I've had a lot of trouble even just playing a videogame or reading literature. Work is like pulling teeth. You can tank until the spring. Did you call a suicide prevention hotline? It can be helpful.

>>17234689
I'll text one soon. Just catching my breath right now

>>17234645
I like to pretend I'm in space during winter. It helps me to do things even when it's dark. Also take vitamin d supplements!

>>17234652
in what way?

>>17234645
You're definetly in a bad spot even if you removed the gender thing from the equation, you know? At 24 I'd say you're too young to punch out. You could be a move and a job change away from a much better life, but I won't lie, it'll be tough getting there.

>>17234714
Yeah, I take those, have a sun lamp that I use too.
>>17234731
We'll see. Its really hard for me to make changes like that in the position Im in now

>>17234645
Exorcisms? Are these Christians? I find it hard to believe that these kind of extreme religious communities exist for Christians. Some other groups, you see them every day, but Christians, it's hard to find anyone who even takes that stuff seriously anymore.

>>17234661
This is the new trend for people who listen to indie shit. Pitchfork literally just had an article about it.

>>17234661
I don't know man, there wasn't any one thing that suddenly made me go "wtf I'm happy now!". The way I think of the mind is as a really complicated machine responding to inputs. To get over depression you need to both adjust your inputs (easier said than done in many cases, but anyone can, for example, stop spending as much time arguing on the internet and getting mad at the news) AND correct your responses to those inputs. The latter is the difficult part, and imo is best accomplished with time and something to "anchor" yourself with (friends, family, religion, volunteer work, something that you can believe is good and worth while even if your depressed mind isn't responding as you would like). Psychedelic drugs might help you kickstart this process.

My two caveats are:

1. I can only speak from my experience being "moderately" depressed, by which I mean I was miserable basically all the time, thought about killing myself all the time (but never really came that close to doing it, once I walked out to a bridge and considered jumping off but quickly realized I couldn't do it).

2. I think you *need* support, or everything is 100x harder. That doesn't mean a confidant per se, just people who care about you and will stop you from spiraling. People that really have no one are in the worst spot, and I don't really know what to do for them. Religious communities I guess, if there are good ones around. It's frustrating because we have so much "mental health awareness" now but no one seems to have to done any legwork to set up structures to help people who have no one to help them, suicide hotlines sound pretty terrible from what I've heard.

>>17234787
Link? Funny if true.

>>17220144
I'm currently underemployed and fucking love it. I have money saved up and live with my parents so I don't have too many expenses, and really this is awesome. The only bad part is my dad wanting me to find a job with more hours, but I've been telling him there's nothing available when truth is I haven't even looked!

>>17234802
>https://pitchfork.com/thepitch/pop-stars-as-working-class-heroes-justin-bieber-drake-travis-scott/

I think the ruling class realized having so much of the chud masses depressed was destabilizing as we can see in the events of the last 9 months or so, so now the culture industry is all about cheering you up.

>>17234779
Yeah fundie christian. Midwest america

>>17234643
Actually read this one: https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/ted-kaczynski-the-system-s-neatest-trick

The other one was behind a gaywall

>>17234827
Dude, I have been living the underemployed lifestyle for like a decade. I make enough to support myself in a fairly expensive city, and even have enough spare to invest a bit and buy a new Apple gadget from time to time, and that is plenty for me. The only people who give me shit about it are some women who want me to get a full time job, so I can buy a house. Oh that's nice, but we're not fucking, so why do you care if I own a house in the burbs? Oh, and Indian bugmen are always like "Bro, why don't you apply to programming jobs, you're a good coder!". Yeah, I can code, but I just code for fun tp make things I enjoy, not to bugout and minmax my salary.

>>17234827
Coasting in life is absolutely amazing. You've got it right. The trick is saving up a nice safety net first. Good job anon! A well balanced slacker life is a wealth of its own kind.
>>17234848
>midwest
>affected by winter
I'd assume a warmer more progressive climate would do wonders for you.
>>17234834
>Perhaps in an attempt to recompense, Bieber’s next single, “Holy,” painted the singer in a drastically different light. The video stars Bieber as an oil worker who lives in a humble motel with his wife, played by Ryan Destiny. One day, while Bieber works the oil fields, the boss informs everyone that the plant has to be shuttered “due to the current and ongoing global situation.” In a matter of seconds, Bieber and his wife are aggressively evicted from their room and forced to wander the streets, before a world-weary soldier (a hopelessly miscast Wilmer Valderrama) pulls up and invites them to dinner with his family.
What the fuck is this?

>>17234947
Trump was awful for big oil. Between unleashing fracking all over the country to not starting any new wars in oil producing countries, oil has been in the tank. Now that Biden is confirmed, the Saudis promised to cut production, and the Green New Deal shit should shutdown fracking in the most productive states, and good times for big oil will be back again.

>>17234834
it's amazing how they always manage to pull out a solution that benefits the individual in abstract while killing any chance of mass dissent
bravo porky!

>>17226689
>>17234834

>>17231486
J. D. Unwin validated Freudian sublimation on a societal level.
Found that discipline in sexual matters appropriated social energy to more civilizational ends.

>>17234834
I hate p4k
hip turned square
agitator turned cointelpro
a tale as auld as thyme

I need to leave this place. I want to be separate from these people. I need to not talk to them for like a year. I need them to know there's distance between us. I can't have them in every facet of my life. I need things for myself.

None of the people I know in real life, including intelligent ones, want to discuss literature or watch pretentious films

Im a burden to everyone especially my parents. Im an aimless parasite with no redeeming qualities. I know that i should kill myself to relieve others from myself but im too much of a coward to actually go through with it. Maybe after their death, i'll be able to go away from this world at my own hand as the first and last act of a free man.

Why do they expect so much of me? Am I supposed to be what they never were? And why do they make me feel so shitty when I don't live up to it?

>mods delete the Why Liberalism Failed even thought its entirely on topic
Hey tranny jannies, how about you make your New Year's resolution to stop being faggots.

>>17235707
There's no accounting for shit taste.

How do you get accepted into a group consisting of people you share absolutely nothing with?

lemonade was popular drink and it still is

>>17236073
i get more props and stunts than bruce willis

>>17236036
How did you get into a position where you need/want to in the first place anon? Pulling a big heist?

>>17236107
I'm with a fine lass, she presented me to her group of friends, but I didn't make a great first impression, I think they've decided to keep me out

>>17220144
I'm an incredibly narcissistic person when I'm alone but once in public/interacting with other people I feel so small.

I have a very large mirror in my room, in which I admire myself every day but it seems once there are no mirrors nearby I become a much weaker and smaller version of myself.

I was thinking that maybe I don't recognize my mirror image as me. That maybe my mind doesn't comprehend that the meat and bones in the mirror are mine and therefore sees the image as a protector or a person of trust. Maybe I feel my mirror image protects me, he gives me confidence, so when I can't see him all the confidence he instills in me crumbles as well.

>>17234715
I mean that he wasnt overrated or underrated. He was just rated

>>17236366
Superiority complex often ships with inferiority complex, the two are very much linked.

It is perfectly normal to feel so big and so small simultaenously

I've just finished "Parfume" by Suskind and I'm pretty much convinced that, like the protagonist, I have a total abscence of smell. Of course I'm talking about some kind of metaphorical soul's smell, that makes me invisibile to females. They can't percieve this smell, unlike other guys, so they ignore me. Other guys, despite their average behaviour and phisycal aspect, must have some kind of metaphysical smell that make them irresistibile- today I had another confirmation

There are few forms of hapiness purer than the one experienced when one combines despair with a large dose of alcohol

>>17236387
Where did you get this wisdom
What books can I read about this topic

>>17220144
I enjoy threads like these a lot, wish there were more

Starting to believe it is humanely inadmissible for your own mind to be seeped out of essence. Essence, that is the thoughts themselves. And all of it in a repugnant, artificial method. One that is lacking any beauty in itself, similar to a mechanical action or procedure. Thus, a conjoining of this action sends the subject into continuous pondering on the matter of incapacitation. Translated as a sordid inability to change behavior.

Well, it couldn't be more tragic, in a quiet manner of self realization, to become aware of this type of manifestation in my personal life.

We might not be the owners of all of our thoughts and actions. And surely, the entity that could receive the deserved blame for this influence stands out of reach, perpetually. How else could it be anyhow. What bothers me is the occasional smugness of transmission, of this message. Of unreachability. That, well, the entity is out of reach yet holding a sizeable influence over yourself. Strange, a modern spell, though one that lacks wonder.

I really need someone's suggestion here.
My last gf broke up with me because of my pencil dick. I'm now starting to date a new girl and I'm absolutely freaked out about our first time.. I'm seriously panic level stressed. She's very hot and I'm so ashamed of her seeing it.
I was always less confident about it but now that I've seen it can end a few months relationship, that's a whole new trouble, how can I update my mind in this area?

>>17237020
thanks for reminding me that i hate women

>>17237027
I mean, men and women alike have a right to desire good sex.

>>17226689
>LADY GAGA

Celebs join growing calls for Trump impeachment
BY JUDY KURTZ - 01/08/21 12:49 PM EST
7
A number of celebrities — including Lady Gaga, Kerry Washington and Rob Reiner — are adding their voices to the calls to impeach President Trump for a second time, warning that failure to act could lead to the death of democracy.

In a message to her more than 83 million Twitter followers on Thursday, "Stupid Love" singer Lady Gaga blasted Trump, saying he "incited domestic terrorism" at the Capitol a day earlier.

https://twitter.com/ladygaga/status/1347404231934881792

>>17230839
I really like your style of writing, and can strangely relate quite closely to this, although I suspect you are a little more experienced in life than I am. Even so, new experiences are entirely up to yourself. It feels challenging to break the cycle, but even the smallest things can cause a disruption, so I woudn't ponder too much on finding a larger meaning.

Thinking about stopping visiting the therapist and pay boxing classes. That bitch isn't as helpful as she thinks and I'm starting to get diminishing returns

>>17237329
I did both at the same time,guess which made me feel good and worthy of respect?
Tip: its the one that I want to continue after the pandemic

>>17237329
boxing is fucking great, but i would like to suggest you consider muay thai instead. you still study striking and have plenty of chances to get on fight cards, but there are more women in muay thai. western boxing gyms, for better or worse, are a sausagefest. also muay thai gyms tend to be better for networking. i've met so many entrepreneurs and independently wealthy people through muay thai, meanwhile boxing, everyone is a public employee, so if you want a gig on a trash truck that's about as much as you'll get, and who knows, maybe you want that. just be away which you choose could put the next years of your life on very different paths. my experience is in a major metro area though, so i suppose your results may vary.

>>17236317
Ask the alpha to do you a small favour and they will likely abide out of politeness and social convention. However, to themselves they will subconsciously jrealise that they must like you because otherwise why else would they help you?
I'd do something like that, you know. Tell lies.

>>17237047
Have we heard from Ja Rule though?

I wish I had the balls to have acted on my gut feeling, but there isn't much to be gained from beating a seventy-five year old man to death. If I could carve your genes out of me with a knife I would.

>>17220930
This is a like a parody of what a conservative thinks a liberal is.

I think I look a bit like the virgin meme and the chud meme. It annoys me every time I see them.

>>17220144
I normally don’t put any stock in dreams but this one was something different, something so vivid that I had to reflect on it.

In it, at first I was a woman lying on my back. I was being raped by Mussolini, and although I struggled and pushed and kicked, he held me down and continued to penetrate me. I wore a white dress. As he raped me, he yelled that he was in the right. But a pair of hands pulled him off me.

My dream shifted, and I was in my own body again. I was sitting on a bench in a clearing in a forest. I could hear the sound of a creek. Hitler sat next to me. I told him I considered him to be an evil man, directly responsible for the destruction of Western Civilization, and the architect of the greatest genocide the world had ever seen. He told me I was right and he had been wrong. He admitted he had indeed doomed the West to destruction, but he did not seem unhappy or guilty for doing so. We walked through the clearing, and he asked me to create the next civilization. He warned me to stay away from politics. He told me I would only create misery for the world on a scale never seen if I was to enter politics. Instead he advised me to be a Homer, to write and create art so profound that it would serve as the foundation of the next civilization. He promised me that civilization would be eternal.

So yeah, that was my dream.

>>17223744
I hate receiving gifts because most people give useless knick-knack crap that will see landfill within 6 months. I find the best gifts to give and receive are experiences; movie tickets, restaurant vouchers, etc. The person gets something to do and they aren't left with unwanted clutter later. Secondly is quality utility items, assuming the person doesn't already have them. I've been buying high quality insulated water bottles for my family. I live in a really hot climate, so access to cold water is a godsend. Other things I'm considering as future gifts are multi tools, the amount of time my family asks to borrow mine is absurd, leading me to think that most people could get a lot of value from one. Other things are consumables - alcohol works for most people, just make sure you get them something they actually like. Candles are also a good choice for women, just make sure you buy quality ones, ask her friends or family what scent of candle she likes. I'm a huge minimalistfag so this is something I think about regularly.

Wondering how some crazy NEET took control of this board.

>>17234853
TL;DR

>>17220144
Sometimes when I'm sweaty my scrotum sticks to my dick and then I have to peal my scrotum off my dick

>>17223310
Someday you'll forget about all that stuff in a box, and then you'll come across it and feel nothing

>>17237986
Sounds like you've been reading too many history books. Hitler's advice sounds pretty solid to me, though.

The absolute frenzy of liberals cheering on tech corps censoring people they don't like is amazing, the sheer uniformity of it. They love it.

>>17238072
I think you have a point. Still, most powerful man in the world was maliciously spreading obvious lies for months and towards the end stoking the flames of a retard mob which ended in a failed fascist coup, all in the service of him clinging on to power in order to avoid answering for his crimes in court. There's only two weeks left of his presidency and he still has the largest platform in the world.

>>17238097
I agree with you but I am weary. I feel that we will come to regret giving so much power to corporations, and wresting it back via legislation or protests will be a very difficult task.

>>17238128
I understand that there's a lot of nuance to this, the boundaries of private corporations which have control over so much of our communications and so on. But right now I'm also weary, so I just choose to take glee in the spectacle of it all.

>>17238097
That's dumb, tech CEOs should not be able to prevent the President of the United States from addressing citizens. You people have a strange view of reality where "society" is fundamentally static and stability is the default, but it's the opposite. Once you set precedents like this they take generations or centuries to push back the other way.

But leaving all that aside, I am talking more about the random liberals and leftists cheering for random Trump supporting accounts being taken down. Like a cartoonist. I saw the cartoonist's tweets, he said nothing. It is purely a humiliation tactic, and the politicians are snarkily cheering for it too. This all has extremely dangerous consequences. It's so stupid and poorly thought out that I suspect they know what they're doing and are planning on the backlash, maybe as justification for cracking down on "terror."

>>17238148
for most of your post this response will suffice>>17238143
Which cartoonists are you referring to?

Jesus, the ACLU issued a statement and pussied out of condemning censorship. It's the ACLU. They used to inspire me as a liberal teenager. Things sure are weird, but to be honest I always felt that only a tiny minority of people understood the value and importance of free speech. The times in my life where I had to defend it to people who claimed to be extremely liberal, but who had clearly never thought about an actual "b-but I don't WANT him to say it though!" situation, are numerous enough that I always knew this was inevitable. Maybe it's even better for it to be this open.

>>17238170
Ben Garrison. 250k followers. I don't like the era of influencer grift as a profession so I'm saying the following through gritted teeth: it's not right to ban people who derive their livelihood from their social media outreach.

>>17238148
>It's so stupid and poorly thought out that I suspect they know what they're doing and are planning on the backlash, maybe as justification for cracking down on "terror."
Yeah, they are. But honestly, I don't care anymore. The powers that be won, and they will crush anyone who threatens them. At this point, my goals are to be in some financial security, to quietly practice my faith, to have a healthy life and healthy/safe family, and to have a little time to do what hobbies make me happy. Let greater men and women than I fight for the future of the West. All I want is peace.

>>17238183
>Ben Garrison
I feel like I should've known this, thanks brev. Yeah, that's messed up. Last time they killed my boy Varg I felt the same way.

>>17237630
Weird, that's known as the Franklin effect and I found out about it last night.

Standards have slipped.

>>17238183
It was never about Civil Liberty anon, they have permanent power now so mask off. We've always been at war with Trump's America.

>>17238568
take your pills, tranny

I am going to actually kill myself. I hate the human race, I hate their art, I hate their culture. I'm sick of it all.

>>17220144
I am filled with so much hope. Last year I made some of the best decisions of my life and God willing I will be getting married soon. This is honestly so good I never expected to have suitors like this I am overwhelmed. aaaaaa

I can't stand sleeping lately. Although I have no personal experience of death, I can't shake the feeling that I'm dying every night to be reborn in the morning. My dreamless sleeps have the quality of death and it scares the shit out of me. My work is suffering and my personal life would be too if it existed.

>>17237329
>>17237412
If you are able to take boxing classes you do not need a fucking therapist. What did you expect?

There is something so bizarre about a man being named Vivian Dubois.

>>17238944
and I hate the traffick

>>17240973
Christie chose names so she wouldn't get sued. It's usually something which doesn't appear in who's who because of this, or sounds fucking ridiculous so nobody would claim it was them, but there's a couple of times where she cuts it close. In The Hollow/Murder After Hours, there's a John Christow, and if you know anything about Christie's husband and her "disappearance" after his affair, then the book reads like an argument for why Mr Christie should by rights be dead. But for him to sue her for libel would be to admit he was a philandering cad so nothing comes of it.

>>17241204
I didn't know that, thanks for sharing. I knew about her first husband, though, in a way she should be happy he was an ass, since her second one seemed to have been a better choice.

>>17241226
Yeah there wouldn't be half as much shit based in Egypt or archaeological site if they'd stayed together either. Still, never fuck over a crime writer, some of those bitches are crazy like a fox.

>>17220144
Ok but its gay:

My mind is so easily set "abuzz". Some time on media and it burns with shallow activity. I can't think straight. I am overwhelmed and theres nothing there. At the moment, quitting cigarettes is difficult. I need to escape my darkened quarters so I grab my pack of smokes and lighter and find my way out to the smoke pit. Sitting, my mind still buzzes. A fog swirling and confusing me as I try to plan for the future or try to create my identity or reflect on the pointless shows and forums and articles I consume.
It is cold outside. Crisp. And a little dried leaf drags across the pavement and into the grass, settling loosely on a stone. A small puddle is next to it and the grey blue sky is reflected in it. Seeing these things, really seeing them, or even just trying to, my mind doesnt buzz. The grass slope ahead of me is like a blanket on the huge grey boulders there. The trees are over the slope and they line the lake. A bird takes off, small enough it could fit in my hand, and hops about on the branch of a bush just by me.
What is the purpose of religion? I think when I am out of practice for a while I stumble upon a religion. That leaf from before. A deer with its child. The blue sky and the white moon. When I am inside, inside myself, religion is easily found in books and music and philosophy and my heart sings and weeps and I dream of heaven and forgiveness. Is that the purpose of religion? To be saved? To be told it will be alright and that I am not alone? Outside I try to shake off that buzzing turbulence which drives my spirit stirr crazy, having forgotten religion altogether. And I stumble onto old religions whose presence is like breathing deeply on a snowy hill at sunrise, light, clear, and present. This religion doesnt save, and there is no weeping. So what is its point? This leaf is there. "There is a religion" Im reminded. I can never finish the thought, something always comes up. I suppose I might try to figure it out another day.

>>17237020
bump

>>17240663
Why you think that?
I struggled to muster up the courage to go and enroll and am feeling the same way about going back,it made me more confident though,while the therapy didnt

>>17220144
a man who suffers without meaning
makes a sacrifice for a dead God
his bitter torment, his barren seed
black wheat fields, harvest of tears, fruits of torment
his heart burns timidly, his face parched
the eyes are dead from a man who suffers without meaning
his idols are ghosts,
a sacrifice without a candle, a deceased without a monument
in vain your sweat, your labor does not mean, your work useless
your struggle is lost in advance
symbol in vain, angel of pain
a man who suffers without a reason

i'm happy, fixed an hydraulic pump :D

>>17238183
>it's not right to ban people who derive their livelihood from their social media outreach
They should get a real job

>>17238148
>tech CEOs should not be able to prevent the President of the United States from addressing citizens.
He's the fucking president, if he wants to address the citizens he can make a TV appearance

>>17237020
How "pencil" are we talking here?

>>17242893
just under 5 inches long two fingers wide

>>17243116
>two fingers
as in wide as the index and middle finger put together

>>17242885
>he can make a TV appearance
The TV stations won't broadcast it.

The raid on the capitol has definitely put me in a depressed mood. Not because some offices got ransacked, but because the government will now use this as an excuse to enact even more CCP style authoritarianism.

I feel completely retarded. I am envious of you people, or at least those among you who are intelligent, interesting, and able to grasp the sublime in a more consistent and fulfilling way than I probably ever will. I know it's foolish to self-deprecate to this extent, but I can't help but notice how banal and unintelligent most of my thoughts are, along with my personality. I want an end to this crudeness

>>17243344
nothing bad about that
The older I get the less worried about my performance I am and the more I just value being able to have a simple calm and happy life.