/lit/ - Literature

Just for the fuck of it, I tried to write a song from my MC's perspective. I'm not a musician so it's absolute shit, but I'm still satisfied I was driven to write something

---

(Just five more years. Five more fucking years and I'm done with this shit-hole and everyone in it. Maybe then I'll finally have a chance to fucking be somebody.)

Just five more years till I'm out of here
I just can't fucking wait
Just five more years till my destiny
As if that wasn't fake

I remember a show about a boy of ten
who was supposed to catch them all
I waited for the age of ten
but there's no such thing as a pokeball

I remember a book about a boy who lived
and went to a magical school
I mean I guess I lived too now didn't I
but as a cripple and J.K.'s fool

I wasn't a wizard at eleven years old
maybe 30's a more a more reasonable bet
assuming my heart even lasts that long
I could die tomorrow yet.

I think you learn you're a god at twelve
or some shit, I ain't read those books
frankly I'd be fine mortal
those Olympians seem like crooks

thirteen's when you become a man
I mean mentally, not in the law
it's time to put those dreams to bed
the real world's not full of awe

five more years till i'm out of here
I can still be chef du cuisine
assuming my heart even lasts that long
I could drop dead making terrine

five more years till i'm out of here
five more to accept the way things are
five more years till i'm out of here
and leave behind this damn sandbar

just five more years
five more years until I'm out of here...

>be me
>mostly read shit from the 1800s
>go to write """""romance""""" story set in modern times
>tfw only real experience with how that shit works is movies that usually gloss over the more important subtle things in a montage
>mfw my story is way shorter and shallower than it should be
I have only myself to blame

Do you guys think energy weapons will become a thing in the future?
I'm writing a sci-fi short story and I'm not putting in any laser, plasma or energy shield because right now they don't look possible.
(I know lasers can damage lightweight stuff like drones but they're hardly of any practical use)
Am I being too narrow minded?
If lasers actually become a thing they'd be the kind of a space battlefield since they travel at the speed of light, they'd completely change the "meta" I made up for space combat

>>16955374
Don’t you have an imagination? Or some character conflict you want to explore? Do you have a reason for writing a romance?

>>16955473
I put the romance part in a lot of """"" because it wasn't really about that. It was about two grieving people trying to get past their shit and one realizing he actually needs people in his life. But there's imagination, and then there's just not knowing. You can only fake so much.

>>16955462
energy weapons are already in use. Most missile defense systems are basically laser-cannons that use radar for targeting, and in the US the police have been authorized and equipped to use truck-mounted microwave turrets as a nonlethal crowd control device for over a decade. They just don't get deployed often because the cops prefer to misuse rubber bullets and tear gas canisters, which they can cause more serious injuries with while pretending it was an accident

I think it's likely that energy weapons are more likely to come into use after we militarize space. Compared to conventional weapons they're much lighter and won't send a spacecraft flying backwards in the opposite direction every time they're fired. They'll also have a longer effective range due to the air not scattering the lasers, and it will probably be safer to use them inside a ship since they won't immediately puncture the cabin

How often and for how long do you chums tend to write?

>>16955549
Yeah you can definitely use it to fry optics and other exposed electronics but how energy-consuming must they be to breach a hull?

>>16955800
it takes a lot of energy, but we're not going to be having space warfare until we get the energy issues sorted out. the primary reason space research has stalled is its limited use in warfare

>>16955462
Do you have space combat? Or it's still planet-bound?
How advanced do you want your weapons to be? Grounded, or full scifi?

>>16955919
There some space combat.
I'm trying to make tech just a little grounded, I just don't want to handwave everything and say "yeah it's science it's basically magic"
I've kept in mind newton's laws when "designing" weapons but objectively a super fuck-off laser would trump everything I came up with.
Faster than light travel and normal engines are left completely unexplained btw

>>16955462
Is a firearm not an energy weapon? A bullet has a lot of kinetic energy. It's mass is also energy.

The future is now young man.

>>16955591
I only write 4chan posts

>>16955462
Why do you care to make your science *fiction* story realistic?
Nobody can predict the future. Just do whatever you think would be cool.

>>16955462
my sci-fi space opera takes place approximately in the 30th century and still has no beam or energy spam yet. At most theres big naval guns, small mounted Gatling turrets, and lots and lots of missile spam. Don't think about it too much.

>>16955591
I write and finish a chapter usually over 2-3 days and been trying to find a balance between scheduled days and releasing them as soon as I can. My chapters are usually around mid 2k~ words but sometimes I peter off at around ~6k words, in which case I might split them into smaller chunks if it makes sense to do so.

>>16956062
FTL travel alone would change everything, because you only need to launch a god rod at FTL speed to destroy a country.
You might want to restrict FTL if you aim for the grounded warfare, otherwise it would be one side sniping the other side across the system. Super laser in this case will be the strategic defense, if it's strong enough to vaporize the god rod before it could hit the target.
You can also make some supercloaked fightercraft which cannot travel FTL, but can carry some 10-100 megatons nuclear warheads and have them conduct a secret strike before the sensors can detect them.

How do I describe my character's nostalgia towards something he has never experienced?

>>16956239
How do you describe yours?

Just describe all the feelings it brings up in him and then at the end once you've got the reader convinced he knows this thing inside and out put in a line like "all for something he's never known/experienced" for impact

how is this architecture called
you know, when houses have this wood thing making them stronger (i think?)
germans used it in the past

>>16956437
Literally found it by Google searching your image, lazy asstard.

>write a few beautiful sentences, great flow, prose
>realise they are completely unnecessary and don't add anything to your story
Bros I don't want to remove them...

>>16956497
>something beautiful doesn't add anything to your story
???

Anons que hablan español, cheque mi novela. Es un drama coming of age con eroguro, existencialismo, muerte, masoquismo y misticismo. No se la tomen muy en serio. Es para pasar un buen rato.

https://www.amazon.com/Ezra-Panini-%C3%A9pica-subjetiva-Spanish-ebook/dp/B08M8KDGHF/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=ezra%20%26%20Panini&qid=1604345019&sr=8-1&fbclid=IwAR0GM7QsVQXNTsRO0TIOZUpj2wei5eMS2UIHLmYmKTW56yCo_GMbggzTJJ4

>>16955503
Just excuse a friendship as a romance. Say "it never felt as romance between them, only mere friendship. However..."

/wg/, my struggles to regain the joy of writing combined with a sudden loss of respect for the author who inspired me to write have me wondering if I even want to keep going, and I'm not sure

>>16958029
just give up man

>>16956810
You say this every thread. What's your endgame? Promote your book here?

>>16956810
eres maricony la primera línea de tu libro no tiene nada poesía. la portals tambien es fea

I don't know where a good point to start my story is.

At the start of the adventure?
Or the 'calm before the storm' that sets off the reason for the adventure?

>>16958721
As close to the action as possible. Not many writers can please reader with long ass first arcs.

>>16958029
What writer is it and why did you lose respect for him?

>>16958029
Was it me? Sorry bro, thank god my writing isn't dependent on my respect for somebody else as there's no one in the world I respect

>>16956497
One of the benefits of writing erotica genre is not really having to remove anything so long as it's at least mildly exciting.
Even that's not really true, but whatever.

rate this sentence
The time around me does not snap, nor does it run, nor slow down, I may be under the illusion I am functioning out of time, not so far out of time, between time, over time or under time.

>>16959149
0.49/10

>>16955462
Energy weapons will be relegated to point defense (shooting down unarmored or very lightly armored missiles and bombs) and damaging exposed subsystems (e.g. cameras, detection equipment, etc). Lasers are utterly useless at ablating armor, best you could do is pulse a laser so the repeated expansion and contraction causes stress and ultimately fracturing in the material.
>>16955549
Diffraction occurs regardless of atmosphere or not, a perfect laser would still be diffraction limited, but that is not realistic to achieve ever.

Here fags read https://childrenofadeadearth.wordpress.com/2016/07/02/the-photon-lance/

>>16959179
It's won the prose contest. My short story was tossed to nothing while this random gibberish won.

>>16959509
Is it some ESL contest?

how do i compose my writing better? i usually find that i use unnecessary punctuation or end up making an awkward sentence, even if it's not technically wrong. are there resources to help me with my style and composition?

>>16956437
it's a medieval design. Forget the exact name, but just dig around with "medieval houses" and shit. I think Shadiversity has done a few videos about it.

>>16955248
How's this bros. I'm new to writing btw

There stood a tall man at the doorway outside the bar. His eyes began to fixate upon Charles as he approached him from the parking lot. He took another puff from his cigarette when Charles got noticeably closer to the pavement across him. Charles's footsteps growing louder each step intensified the man's angst. A teenage couple walked past him and his shoulders became stiff as he began to sweat. Charles beckoned he move from the doorway but the man did not relent. The two stood face to face as if an altercation between them was imminent. "Is there something you're looking for?" Charles asked, surprised at his defiance. The man's trepidation became visible when he licked his lips. "You're gonna have to turn around and walk away!" he replied in attempt to sound intimidating. "Mr Turner is expecting guests and doesn't want you here!" he added hurriedly. Charles was as strong as he was witty and felt reluctant to engage in physical confrontation. "Mate, is it summer or winter here? I can't tell by your frozen shoulder and pouring sweat, that's quite the juxtaposition!" Charles laughed


That's all I've got so far. Any advice and critique is much appreciated

How good do you aim for your writing to be?
1 being serial webnovel/YA/Manga tier, 5 being Deathworld, 10 being literal prose walls.

>>16959652
Easy to read, easy to engage with. Sentences I could say out loud without it sounding forced.

>>16959571
>Charles x7
You need to cut back on naming your character in every line.
Just use 'He' or something. We'll know who you mean.
>The two stood face to face as if an altercation between them was imminent.
This feels very 'Why yes, I would love some Dihydrogen monoxide".
Just say that they were going to fight. New writers think they need to use larger, more complicated words to sound better. You don't!
Simpler is typically always better.
>"Mate, is it summer or winter here? I can't tell by your frozen shoulder and pouring sweat, that's quite the juxtaposition!"
This is not how people talk.

You need to work on your flow overall.
Your writing is fine for a beginner, but very stilted. You write a lot of useless sentences, and use a bunch of overly complex wordage in places that it doesn't quite fit.
Take your first four sentences as an example. Instead of;
>There stood a tall man at the doorway outside the bar. His eyes began to fixate upon Charles as he approached him from the parking lot. He took another puff from his cigarette when Charles got noticeably closer to the pavement across him.
You could smooth it out to be something like;
>As Charles crossed the packing lot, cigarette hanging out the corner of his mouth, he could see a gangley man stood waiting outside the bar, watching each step with angst as the distance between them got shorter.

Don't take what I say as 100%, or as a harsh criticism. You are doing well, and you should be proud of your attempt. You will only get better as you continue to write and look for criticism. Good luck, anon!

Chapter 6. I have renounced the love of WordPress.

https://awfiction.wordpress.com/2020/12/06/engine-zero-zero-chapter-6/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOPUOC-T4I4&feature=emb_title

>>16956239
Describe the imagined feelings the false nostalgia elicits as if they're being remembered while making it clear that he never actually experienced them

>>16960275
This is good. Good job anon. Wish the paragraph indentation was consistent.

>>16959789
Thanks anon, will work on it!

>>16959509
Don't know the case, but I'm quite sure they didn't win a prose contest with a single sentence.

>>16960275
Do you get a lot of page views? Is it even worth it to post fiction on a wordpress blog?

I have pacing problems. If something bores me, should I assume it would bore the reader? I rush through some scenes, because they are needed for the story but add little. Is this going to fuck my pacing up?

Do you guys listen to music when writing?

>>16959789
Your prose on my sentences are really good. Thanks again

>>16960493
Not necessarily. The pace at which you think and write scenes is completely different from the pace at which someone will read it. Reading back over your work with an eye for pacing can help, but for me personally, the only way for me to really gauge how readers will react to my pacing is to actually have someone else read it.

>>16960493
If some part feels boring to you, you should think more about the way you tell it instead of the length of it.

>>16960626
This is a good point.


The troublesome parts are expositional backstory that have some nice moments, which I don't therefore just want to explain in dialogue, but joined with some procedural people meeting each other, people going to places etc.

I might have to be... creative, or something.

>>16960528
OK. I will send some to some friends.

>>16955374
Whenever I look back
On the best days of my life
I think I saw them all on T.V.
I am so homesick now for
Someone that I never knew
I am so homesick for
Someplace I will never be
Time won't let me go
Time won't let me go
If I could do it all again
I'd go back and change everything
But time won't let me go
I never had a 'Summer of 69'
Never had a Cherry Valance of my own
All these precious moments
You promised me would come in time
So where was I when I missed mine?

>>16960511
Depends, sometimes I can't help it but other times music leads to inspiration, and if used wrong can be a crucial clutch. I can't help but keep listening to the new HIuragashi Gou op/eds though lately.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGE6O1e-YgU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Up-HRbQ39Z0

What is a good way to start a story content-wise?
I had a good beginning but I had to move it forward for character arc reasons. Basically, I had put the turning point for the protagonist in the beginning but I wanted to give it more context so it is more meaningful and now I might be stuck with a sort of filler arc at the beginning.

Also, I have an antagonist who wants revenge on his former commander for having been denied of his chance to have a glorious death in battle but I'm having a hard time making him feel believable or sympathetic, or interesting to be honest.
Do you guys know of any examples of that I could take for inspiration?

I want to write a kid's book. But I should not be allowed to write kid's book.

>>16960511
I planned to queue up some music during my last project, but never did. Each time I went to turn a playlist on, I held off to ruminate on what my next sentence would be. Then I’d carry on and finish 500 words, forgetting that I hadn’t put anything on in the background. 13k words written in silence.

>>16960511
Honestly like lo-fi music for being soft but evocative for my writing. It's worked out really well for me.

Learning bits of Japanese does distract me a little bit when I found Japanese Music, but I like finding weird music.

>>16961133
I dunno. But I'm starting with an unexpected death and a funeral. But I need to edit it in my manuscript to expand it some more and make a proper outline.

My pacing is really messy.

The quote in OP is misattributed to Aristotle.

It's actually from Will Durant writing about Aristotle.

>>16955248
I would suggest adding pic related to the "For Prose" list

>>16961803
Actually it's misattributed to Durant and is actually a quote by me

>>16961371
the best children's book writers tend to be people who should not be allowed to write children's books. Dr. Seus was a pornographer who made yellow peril propaganda, Lewis Caroll was a pedophile writing stories for the girl he was molesting, Shel Silverstein's mere visage caused children under 5 to soil themselves, JK Rowling is JK Rowling, and Lemony Snicket put Lolita on the top of his list of "10 books to read before you turn 10" with the instructions "don't read it, just carry it around with you and grin knowingly if an adult asks you what it's about"

>>16960511
Every time I see this chick, it makes me want to rape her more and more out of spite

>>16962880
Why? She's just living her life, doing a little bit of studying. She isn't harming anyone.

>>16962899
That table is a PRIME fucking station, yeah?

>>16957459
incredibly insincere and inauthentic

>>16963048
t. has never loved a friend

>>16959652
excuse me sir, my dial only turns down to 11

>>16962993

Not really, it's right next to a window for gods sake

>spent 2 and a half year creating a world
>have zero ideas for a story that takes place in it

I read 5 books in full and 2 more halves today. Is this too much for brain to process in rem sleep?

>>16962880
Based. I've come to hate lo-fi due to how many pedantic but low quality video essays use it.

>>16963163
>he fell for the worldbuilding meme

>>16963163
>make a group of characters for a fanfic i was going to write when i was younger
>have a fallout with the series i was writing this fanfic for but like the characters too much to just get rid of them
>years later and i still have no idea of what to do with them
HEADSTRONG I TAKE YOU ON
HEADSTRONG TO TAKE ON ANYONE

>Have what I think is a truly original, compelling idea for a novel
>Spend 2+ years fleshing out plot, characters, story arcs
>Even scenes and little details in scenes
>Know how it starts, how it ends, and the main steps between

Then I sit down to write and just state at the screen, typing a handful of words fitfully only to delete them later.

>>16962221
>just carry it around with you and grin knowingly if an adult asks you what it's about
absolutely unequivocally based

>>16956437
It's a timber framed house house, anon.

>>16963232
anon, it's "back off, i'll take you on"!

>>16963268
>only to delete them later
during first drafts the backspace key should ONLY be used to fix typos

>>16963580
This is absolutely correct.

>>16963580
That’s dumb.

>>16963591
>>16963621
Oh no. Now I don't know what to believe

>>16955248
>pic related
Well I wank to trap porn. Am I a Trap fucker than? Is it based or gay? So many question; so few answer. I think I am fucked boys and gurls.

One way or another this book will see the light of day. I messaged a professional in this field (it's a technical book) whose ideas uncannily mirrored mine and he responded with some enthusiasm. I have no advanced degrees, I'm hoping that he sees the worth in what I'm doing and uses what clout he has to help get it published.

>>16963144
Let them see

>>16963163
>write a fantasy novel
>only make a map for the world after my first book is done and after I started the second
I used to be a worldbuilding pleb but I realized that was how you never got anything done.

>>16963573
I know.

>>16963163
I was unironically in your exact same position about five or so years ago. I had notebook after notebook filled out with worldbuilding, but no actual stories.

The way I fixed that was just by creating some simple characters, throwing them into various parts of the world, and thinking out how they would go about their day or what troubles they might get into. I was sorta an invisible journalist, jotting down what I imagined these characters were doing. Eventually I had some plot lines that I could actually work on. Give that a try maybe?

>>16960511
Any idea where I can get fluffy headphones like that anons?

>>16963078
Bubububu
BASED???

Do most places have anything saying you can't toss around your work for feedback with other people while you're waiting for them to judge / accept / reject it for a contest / call for submissions / whatever? I was looking for some constructive criticism on a piece but didn't get any takers from my writing group before the submission deadline.

>>16964427
https://www.amazon.com/Fuzzy-Headphone-Earmuffs-Microphone-Flamingo/dp/B01NGYNH69

>>16964427
At the shop for homosexuals

>>16964455
>you can't toss around your work for feedback with other people while you're waiting for them
Like most rules, this one comes with the unstated clause "it's fine if you don't get caught." Meaning unless you think someone involved with the contest has a chance of seeing your work and recognising it, post it wherever you want

>>16964500
Might as well then. It's one of those contest pieces with prompt constraints. I'm curious to see if those prompts kneecapped the story or if the general sentiment of the story is too forced.

>The story's first sentence must be three words exactly.
>The story must include a gift being given.
>The words "palm", "match", and "rose" must be used in some form (leniently: i.e., "rose-colored", "matchstick", and "palmed" are okay")

https://pastebin.com/vN6swpWZ

>>16964673
>prompt constraints
>>The story's first sentence must be three words exactly.
>>The story must include a gift being given.
>>The words "palm", "match", and "rose" must be used in some form
jesus, that sounds fucking stupid.
Your story isn't poorly-written, but yeah, it's guided by a dumb idea. I don't really see the point of joining such a contest unless you're underageb& or just starting out and need some practice.

tenet was crap. improve tenet: replace all debicki's scenes with one on the boat where russian supervillain is squirting honey on her nipples, intending to lick it off but instead he has a schizo attack and is about to set her on fire when brown james bond swings in on a rope and kicks him in the balls. bond then shyly hands debicki a paper towel and politely looks away while she ineffectually cleans/smears honey over her breasts for a couple minutes.

>>16964783
I thought we weren't allowed to discuss movies here, and that's why nobody will give me feedback on my screenplay :(

Reminder that you shouldn't write unless you have been told you have talent from a young age. You should focus on being a member of the working class. This isn't your place in society.

>>16964924
oops, meant to post in the write what's on your mind thread. got a link to your screenplay?

>>16965478
>was told I have talent from a young age
>heard countless stories about people using those who didn't believe in them as fuel to succeed
>heard countless other stories about people who were told they have talent, became complacent, and fell by the wayside
>became my own source of deprecation and antagonism
>now despise all of my work but stubbornly refuse to give up and am constantly improving
get on my level, pleb

>>16965578
thanks for the tortured artist blog, where do I subscribe

>>16965983
t. talented but complacent

>>16963163
I have the opposite problem.
I have the story, but I am having to build the world around it.
It feels like everything I add it just for the convenience of the story.
I hate it.

Any tip on how to describe a person? I find it difficult to express how beautiful the female characters are.

>>16967574
Face is irrelevant.

Talk about her fat tits. Describe the big blue vein that runs through them, and the colour of her swollen nipples. Talk about how they get goose pimpled, and flush when she gets aroused. Talk about the stretch marks on the sides due to them being so enormously moreish.

how the fuck do you stick to a single project?

>>16967574
Beautiful women are rarely declared so by a description of themselves and instead are identified by how they make men react.

Most writers wouldn't say "She was beautiful," they would say, "My heart skipped a beat when she walked into the room," etc

>>16967702
>Write the beginning and the end
>Write the outline + timeline
>Write minimum 1000 words weekly
>Don't read anything that wouldn't help with the story you are writing
>Reread the draft/chapters you have written
>If your brain must write other stories, do not write more than 1000 words

>>16967702
Constant willful delusion

Chapter 7

https://awfiction.wordpress.com/2020/12/07/engine-zero-zero-chapter-7/

>>16967574
some examples off my mind

Mishima
>Princess Kasuga’s hair had the blackness and sheen of fine lacquer. Seen from behind, her elaborate coiffure seemed to dissolve into the rich white skin-textures of the nape of her neck, leaving single strands against her bare shoulders whose faint sheen was set off by her décolleté.
>... she had allowed Kiyoaki a glimpse of a corner of her mouth. At that moment, a single wisp of hair slipped over her clear white cheek, and out of the fine-drawn corner of an eye a smile flashed in a spark of black fire.

Hemingway
>...and of the way the curve of her forearm could break your heart, and he thought, Christ they are dead and I do not know where either one is buried even.

How's this expression called?
When you tilt your head down and look "up" at someone

>>16968558
Kubrick stare.

>>16956437
The style is usually called Tudor at least in the US but the construction technique is half-timbering. Wattle-and-daub refers to the white walls between (Gefach in german)

>>16968556
haha mishima sounds gay af

I submitted my 8k word genre fiction in the style of The Crying of Lot 49 to a bunch of serious magazines, but now I doubt any of them'll take it.

Anyone know of any publications that accept smut?

wrote something for you, friends <3

>>16969157
Does this count as /ss/?

>>16969215
did a quick correct of some disgusting mistakes.

>>16969302
bravo

>>16963645
There is no correct way. If that anon only wants to correct typos in a first draft then that's fine. I, personally, think it's stupid.

>>16969404
thank you. now pls publish me.

>>16969302
are you ok?

>>16965532
https://www.docdroid.net/rYT5ENp/sample-pdf
PLEASE give me muh feedback

>>16969302
This is absolutely fucking disgusting. The whole thing is just one massive run-on sentence, only a single period at the end. You should be ashamed of yourself.

>>16969561
sry, daddy.
>>16969536
let me quote j's bloom: nes. yo.

>>16967574
I like the way I described this one character
>I am not a short person- I was always a little tall for my age- but I’m hopelessly dwarfed by Allie, a titan of the lacrosse team. She’s a dreadfully boyish harpy.
>She stood up and stretched. Her lithe, athletic form bent easily to her whim.
>I began to gaze at Allie as she pulled off her drenched sportswear. Her form was not unlike Thomasin’s. Just a bit more athletic. Her skin, however, was completely unlike Thomasin’s, marked with a golden glow by hours spent practicing under the sun. But it wasn’t an unpleasant shade. One could regard her as the depiction of Thomasin as Artemis. Her body perfectly sculpted to meet the demands of the hunt.
Try to focus on capturing the "air" of a character, rather than blandly describing their form in objective terms.

>>16967606
>Like a cat stalking is prey, she began to creep towards me. She crawls into my bed. She brings her face an inch from my own. I am frozen. I allow her as she takes my hand and places it on her right breast. It feels soft and smooth, lubricated by her perspiration. Her nipple is thick and hard. I feel it poking into my palm. She lowers her head and begins to kiss my neck. I taste the scent of her skin, intermixed with her hair. Her effeminate pungency awakens me from my dream.
Are you not entertained?

>you must needs

Why isn't it "your must needs?"

>>16969776
How the hell is anyone supposed to answer that out of context

>>16969772
>Are you not entertained?
Sure.
Post more.

Why is /wg/ suddenly so dead? Did half the population get dusted or what?

>>16969828
waddya wanna chat about?

>>16969801
“For to go as a passenger you must needs have a purse.” from Moby dick.

>>16969893
Moby Dick is written in dialect. None of it is supposed to be grammatically correct, it's the way Ismael would've talked.

>>16969893
FFXIV is also full of that. "This must needs be done before anything else!"

>should have spent this evening writing
>instead decided to masturbate
>made a real mess in my undies
>had to wash them out
>now I'm cold with a wet crotch

>>16970231
have you tried drying your crotch with a towel?

>>16970248
yeah I dried as much as I can but I don't want to change to new undies cause I just put these on today and they should be good for the next few days

>tfw nothing you ever write no matter how excellent will ever go "viral" like a thot on tiktok shaking her ass which gives them millions of views and piles of free money.
Fuck this world.

>>16967574
Usually, I offhandedly remark something about their hair. Here's an excerpt I did that's a little more elaborate.

A woman no taller than me, with flowing, raven black hair that contrasts with my own. A pair of red-hued eyes—much like my own—locks eyes with me; her dark thin eyebrows raised in mild surprise. She wears a woolly-textured cloak, light shade in color. An oversized belt divides her red-and-black shirting and dark gray leggings. Around her neck are two golden disk necklaces.

But her most defining feature is one that sends a cold spell down my spine; a disfiguring scar snakes it’s way from her right cheek, through the bridge of her nose, and finally stopping at her left eyebrow. In contrast to her milky-white skin, the tissue is darker-toned… a scar that must be well past maturity.

>>16970321
WHO THE FUCK CARES YOU IMAGE-OBSESSED TURD? do actually give a fuck about writing? show your hairy asshole on onlyfans if you want easy attention.

>>16970340
You're a dumbass. A talent unshared is a talent wasted. It's less motivating to write if I am not reaching the masses with my ideas and shaping the course of history. It's not about image.

>>16970338
why does everyone in these fucking threads write such cliché bullshit? like sorry, but this is so uninteresting. do you enjoy reading long-ass descriptions of physical features? is literature akin to book-keeping images to you? throw flashes of them in here and there if they are that important, but please don't go fucking baroque with this shit. it's a bore.

what do you read? why do you read it?

>>16970370
haha. underage cunt with illusions of grandeur. great.

>>16970370
serious question: are you underage?

>>16970370
We're way past the point where literature shapes the course of history.
Unless your stuff gets adapted into a TVshow or a film it will be kept out of the mainstream.

>>16970321
I am absolutely fine with never going "viral" like a thot on tiktok shaking her ass. If your end goal is internet celebrityhood, I suggest you pick a different career path

>>16970370
You'll never get to the point of reaching the masses if your only motivation is to reach the masses.

>>16970370
>A talent unshared is a talent wasted
Why can't you share your talent with us :(

>>16970403
I don't go overboard with character descriptions. Aside from this excerpt, I don't describe anything other than something about their hair and it's usually a sentence or a few words in passing. This excerpt is at the tail-end of a chapter where the narrator meets the character in question for the first time when the auto-door between them abruptly opens.

>>16970412
>>16970421
Cowards and pissants who have no faith in themselves to dream big and have vision. Shoot for the moon and so on.

>>16970457
That's not my only motivation, but it's nice to have.
>>16970473
I know. And I decry it.

>>16970457
It's not about celebrity, it's about validation and the vindication of effort.

How are you all so wrong?

>>16970506
Oops, I mixed up my response to each reply.

>>16970506
our opinions are different, because we actually write while you only dream of being an important person through the vehicle of writing.

>>16969827
>Cutting through the darkness, the flickering light of a fire cast itself upon the wall ahead. A sharp corner obscured its origins. I peered around the bend. There stood a man. Massive, seven feet tall, almost as wide as he was tall. Covered, from head to toe, with horrible burns and lesions. His ears were two black dots on either side of his head. His eye, the single he retained, was wide and bulging. Not a single hair sprouted from his splotched cranium. One would find it difficult to regard this creature as human.
>He stood in front of me, pounding away at a piece of iron, intent on his work. He regarded me for only a moment as he rose to his full height to drop the cooling metal into his forge. I stood still, more perplexed than afraid. The cavern here led to a dead end. Having seen no entrance beside the one I created, there seemed no way this beastly man had of coming or going from his workplace. Did he work for Hawkins? Was he some poor creature the school had brought in to do labor, buried deep within the depth where no prying eyes could torment him with their curious gaze? Of course not. I had my doubts I was even still in Hawkins. Below it… it was a different place entirely.
>I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came.
>The blacksmith took up another iron bar from his forge. Its tip was sizzling, red-hot. Slowly and steadily, with no hesitation, he pressed it into the skin of his wrist. It made a sickening hiss as it burned him. He grit his teeth, clearly given intense pain, but did not cry out. I could not help it as my knees began to tremble. The smell of his burning flesh invaded my nostrils. He held the iron in place until he could no longer bear to do so. He dropped it onto the anvil. It fell with a clank. He turned his attention to the adjacent wall. He pulled out a loose brick and peered into the hole he created.
>Seconds passed. He stood still, fully absorbed by whatever it is he observed. Then he returned the brick. He went back to his anvil and continued clanging away at another bar.
Pretty saucy stuff, dontchya think?

>>16970506
>validation and the vindication
If the work isn't its own validation and vindication, you picked the wrong career path.

>>16970338
well now he knows what not to do

>>16970520
Ultimately this. Even Tolstoy and Shakespeare didn't fundamentally change the way people live, have always lived. 99% of normies have never heard of Kazuo Ishiguro or Cormac McCarthy, probably the two best living writers, and Ishiguro won the Nobel Prize a few years ago. You should write for the love of the art form, and perhaps try to include some wisdom, if you have anything original or worthwhile to say. But be content to even change one person's life, rather than "changing the course of history".

>>16970531
here. esl so might be some issues with it, but you can def. make your writing a lot denser like so:

>Something flickered cuts into the darkness and onto the wall ahead. I peered around the bend; a fire, and before it a man, his, what must have been, nearly seven feet of height and width covered all over with lesions and burns that seemed to writhe and slither
with the fires tongues, eagerly lapping at all but his face, which remained a block of night with a single drop of pale where a human being carries the right of its two eyes.

>>16970814
welp. sorry for fucking the greentext. but you get the idea.

I feel like a total retard because I can't even just write a short story to practice my writing. All I come up with are ideas for full novels and I haven't practiced writing enough to get anywhere with them

>>16970865
a man dies on a cruise ship without realizing it. he manages to seduce his dream woman, but when they are in bed she complains about his bad breath and he can't get an erection. the failure makes him decide to kill himself by jumping overboard. only when sinks to the ground of the ocean, does he realize that he is not suffocating. yet, he cannot move. the pressure is holding him down, and he is doomed to wait for his sensory organs to rot away, before he maybe finds some peace.

>>16970520
You have no basis of knowing that about me. I guarantee I've written more and write better than you.
>>16970549
Look, the fact is literature does not have the career possibilities of other fields. That's what is upsetting.

>>16970986
without your work, your guarantee is worth shit. you are boasting moron, a kid with something to prove and without the tools to prove it. humble yourself or life will do that for you.

>>16969302
This is unironically good.

>>16970986
Discounting the high likelihood that you're actually just a troll looking for (You)s, you don't have a guarantee that some of the people here aren't actually bored college professors or published novelists with a bottle of jack and some time to kill on a Monday afternoon, which would mean they likely have written better and more than you. That and if you actually did write enough to care about this shit, paradoxically you'd be so caught up in writing as its own end that you wouldn't even give a shit, fucking underageb&. Post shit or don't talk shit, I guarantee you I write circles around your pretentious garbage.

>>16971017
thank you, anon. working on my english rn bcz i plan on applying to some brit unis for creative writing at some point. still feel super clumsy, but i'm having fun, which is nice nice nice. at some point i can hopefully share something properly edited. this thing is super messy (inconsistencies with the eyes n shit, real ugh, just noticed, so: sorry). til then i can hopefully dispense some cool advice on how to not be a shitty dosto-copy around here.

>>16971014
Why should I share my writing with you hostile assholes intent on misunderstanding on me? Fuck off.

>>16971094
Same goes for you, fuck off.

>hostile assholes
>misunderstanding on me

Congratulations, not only are you seething so hard you make elementary grammar errors, your diction also exposes your lack of age. Take a trip back to /r9k/ and maybe talk to some like-minded failures.

>>16970412
>>16970421
>>16971094
Quit being a degenerate alcoholic edgelord idiot, just because you're an out of shape abject failure doesn't mean that he will be.

>>16971138
See
>>16971150
Go back to re ddit and circlejerk about drumpf, people like you are a net drag on society

>>16971121
anon, i was only hostile because you came across like a bitter sexist crybaby. i promise i will do my best to separate that from your writing. please share.

>>16971175
>sexist crybaby.
Please leave 4channel

>>16971150
there's a difference between being a grandiose douchebag and simply believing in yourself though. the kids whining about literature being dead before even having touched it. that's cringe. but i do believe that i got a bit too flustered about it and if he really does write good shit then good for him. i hope he succeeds. a world with more good books is a better world than one with fewer.

>>16971194
but i've been here for abt 15 years now, anon. please dont make me go :(

>>16971224
Post file from 2005 or leave for larp

>>16971121
>why should I share my writing
The whole point of anonymity is that the best idea floats to the top irrespective of the person who says it. All you've given us so far is someone who sounds whiny and stuck-up, without any writing to show for it, but frankly I'll ignore that and probably even give your complaint some credence as long as you have an idea or a story worth sharing.

>>16971121
Don't share your writing with degenerate alcoholic burnouts. This applies as much to academic publications as it does to 4channel, take it as a lesson learned.

>>16971248
larp then. changed laptops a lot, i'm afraid. sorry friend. browsed /b/, then /v/, then /r9k/, then /fit/ and /his/. oh, lots of /d/ in the beginning, then /gif/ later. wasn't /lit/ part of /his/ at some point? don't quite remember, studied physics at the time and barely kept myself from ending my ass. got the degree without much effort, but just being there, having to interact with formulas and labs and jaded scientists depressed me so much, that i couldnt do anything but play wow outside of uni. sure glad, those days are over. now i'm depressed about not being a good writer, which is much more fun, because it's part of the outfit. also i have sick arms these days and during readings i'll show them off and people like the contrast between that and my v v shaky, sensitive shizo-persona. writing diary on the side, so a bit write-happy atm, sorry. bye now.

>>16970814
Uh... no offense man, but you need to work on your english a little bit

>>16971385
oh! none taken. any specific mistakes?

>>16971397
>a fire, and before it a man, his, what must have been, nearly seven feet of height
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

>>16971457
oh, but the grammar is correct, no? is the expression "feet of height" the issues? i guess that does sound a bit weird, but i assumed it would still be understandable. any other anons care to weigh in? really interested in improving my english writing.

>>16971481
oh i'd also cut the "seemed to" now that I reread it. such an ugly expression. adds nothing in most cases. just have them writhe and slither instead.

>>16971481
Most of it isn't technically wrong, they're just awkwardly jumbled sentence. The word order isn't what any proficient English speaker would write.
But there are a few glaring errors
>before it a man, his, what must have been
Why is the "his" stuck in the middle there? His what? His height? His fire?
>the right of its two eyes
The "it" here also comes out of nowhere. What is "it?" Do you mean him, the man?
Also, you seem to have misinterpreted the text to be conveying that the man is engulfed in flames.

>>16971556
*they're just awkwardly jumbled sentences.
gotta love when you make a typo while correcting someone's English

>>16971556
I was trying to be idiosyncratic in my writing, it shouldn't sound awkward though, that's a nono.
To answer your questions: his height, the "it" is the human being. Didn't expect the second one to sound weird, but then again, esl and all.
He is not engulfed in the flames, but in the light of the flames, going for a somewhat metonymic approach, moving his image closer to the flames, as he does only exist within them in a way. He would be invisible without, right? There being nothing but darkness and all. Thanks for your advice!

>>16971606
I'd try to steer clear of being "idiosyncratic" with your writing until you've got a film grasp of the language. Jumping between pronouns is confusing enough when trannies do it, so changing from "his" to "its" within the same paragraph is just inconsistent. I get what you mean now by the flames lighting him. That's a good idea, but there wasn't enough context that it was the light of the flames you were describing and not the flames themselves.
Only advice I can give you is to read a lot more. "INPOOT" as they say on /lang/. That's how natives learn the language. You need a good feel for a language before you can write any serious prose in it.

>>16971722
according to toefl i'm p much on the level of a native speaker, is the thing, so it thought i might as well give it a go. like i can easily write like the dude i responded to originally, not an issue at all, just boring to me. thin border between having a style and sounding dumb though, very true. and yesyes, i read a lot already. finishing up ulysses rn, mb something lighter after. gotta keep an eye on my german writing too though. much to do, much to do

Burgerpunk anon here, just wanted to drop in to let anons know I finally passed the bar exam. Woo!

>>16971761
I don't know what toefl is but I can confirm you're not at a native level just yet.

>>16971800
gz, senpai! go make mad dosh so you can buy my books, okay? maybe buy two. i might need it.

>>16971814
internationally accepted test for english proficiency. need to do it as a student from non-english countries. their testing is a bit more thorough than your glance at my shit-posting :3 nono, srsly appreciate the input, but i do disagree partially, as ellipses and, well, general semantic trickery dont quite seem to be your wheelhouse (which is fine). much strength and fun for all of your writing endeavors, friend! (and try to cut the anti-trans shit, it's a bit lame)

How do I get this fucking story out?
I have 90% of the pieces planned, but writing it feels like a chore in self control.
I can't help but constantly keep editing as a go, so I barely get anything down.

>>16971875
>try to cut the anti-trans shit, it's a bit lame
This might not be the website for you, my friend.

>>16972056
just fighting the good fight. underdog 5 life

>>16972046
Do you actually like writing, or are you using it as an alternative for a medium you can't create in?

>>16970926
>I can't come up with any ideas
>just use my dumb ideas bro XD
why are normies like this

>>16972158
Writing prompts are good for getting out of a slump, and to get you to write out of your comfort zone.

>>16970986
>literature does not have the career possibilities of other fields
Creativity in general is the most difficult field to monetize. Literature is no exception. Eventually you may get to the point of living off your work. But right now, you're not there, but you've got a path ahead of you that might lead you there.
Stop thinking in big steps. You won't jump from wherever you are now into being a famous and renowned author over night. But there are small steps you can take that might head you in the right directions. Focus on these small steps.

>>16972158
haha wow. sorry for coming up with an original idea in an attempt to help you. go fuck yourself then.

>>16972175
There's a "prompt," a basic starting point to help your ideas start flowing, and then there's "here's a bad idea for a story that would suck. You're welcome bro LMAO"

>>16972200
Keep it to yourself next time.

>>16972140
I love writing, I've just never planned a story before.
Usually, I just free write with no real idea where I'm going, and hope that whatever I create is fine.
I thought I would try something different, and plan before hand, but it's just made everything harder.

>>16972200
man, id sure love to beat your dumb face in right now.

>>16963163
worldbuilder incel

>>16967574
don't describe characters

>>16969561
>punctuation virgin

>>16970926
That's a very bad idea. There's no theme.

>>16967574
The more original with the description you are, the more likely someone is to think they are beautiful
>She had dark brown hair and amber eyes
vs
>She had long curly hair like dark rum, and eyes that reminded him of warm honey.
Even being technically the same colors, if you're more original with the description then they will be more special and therefore people will think they are more attractive.

How the fuck do you spell "ooh" as in "moo" without the "m"?

>>16972906
ou works sometimes

I'm currently writing a story that involves a multi-national organization. Some members are British, French, Italian, American, etc. I think a good bit of characterization can be them occasionally throwing in words of their own language. Or a difference between the Americans and English is slightly different vocabulary. Is this cringe or actually a good idea?

>>16972935
Cringe is never in the idea, it's in the execution. What you're planning can be well done, but more likely than not, you're going to end up with tumblr tier dialogue of having the spanish girl yell "I love mi familia!"

>>16970321
>>16970370
anon, as someone who has had the same goals and frustrations as you for many years longer can I give you some advice?

The things you desire most in life will always disguise themselves as another desire. Once you see the strings holding the mask on, you'll understand better how to catch them.

For example, these anons are saying that if you want the approval of others, why don't you get an onlyfans, or do something low-brow to win that admiration? You're rightfully disgusted by the idea, but it's telling. it lets you know that the approval of others is not what you want out of success. You wouldn't be seeking out success as a writer if there isn't a moment in the process of creating a story or poem that felt rewarding enough to make you keep pressing for it. Find the thing that rewards you and you'll find the fastest way to your prize

>>16972935
I'd go a step further and use idioms.
British people tend to be dour and extremely passive-aggressive. Some sayings don't translate well to America even if both countries speak the same language.
Though again, it depends on what you're trying to do with the story. A goofy accent and external tells may be enough if you're writing an action story in the vein of XCOM. If you're writing something that requires more character depth, a cultural study would be required. See pic related.

>>16973312
I actually do this to a certain degree. The American characters tend to be a little more friendly and outgoing, and the English characters use different expressions and phrases, use different words for things. There is actually a part where one Frenchman and an Englishman are talking about something and one of them says a phrase that they have to explain to the other since it doesn't translate well. Their personalities are certainly different too, though I feel that part is a little more difficult to get across.

>>16972935
ESLs don't throw in their words randomly unless they speak next to no English.
You can do something quirky like having them use their own swear like Kurwa, scheiße, cazzo, mierda etc.
But this stuff wouldn't really happen if it's a close knit community as slangs and mannerism would standardize with time, but if you do it with some criteria (EG the educated people have a very mild accent while the less educated ones throw in their own insults) then it's fine, I don't think anyone would complain

>>16973438
The most I go is greetings or very simple phrases. Bonjour, ciao, arrivederci, merci, grazie, etc. That or characters speaking their native language to someone else who does. I don't just have people throw random words in.

>hate Retard Road
>decide to take a look at some of the trending fiction
>get reminded why I hate it

If you publish your shit there, you have no respect for your writing or just love wallowing in shit. If I'm ever forced to self-publish, it'll be on a site like my own WordPress.

I'm 70% done with reading Dracula. The men have just discovered that Mina was bitten by Dracula

>>16973672
I just leveled up on Royal Road, whatever that's supposed to mean.

RR also did its own version of NaNoWriMo.
https://www.royalroad.com/blog/34/royal-road-writathon

>>16973672
Look I publish on ff.net, you can't get lower than that.

After a hard day’s work at the clinic, Jabari Seward went by the inn.
knock knock knock
A hoarse groan came from within the room. Jabari knocked again.
“Hi Lupita, it’s Dr. Seward,” said Dr. Seward. “I’d like to come in and give you a checkup.”
The door creaked open and Jabari stepped inside. He looked around, but Lupita wasn’t at the door. Turning his head toward the bed, he found her in bed, lying down and her eyes closed.
creak
The door closed behind him and Jabari breathed sharply inwards. He quickly composed himself.
“Miss Westenra, the clinic was abnormally busy today. I didn’t have the time to visit you during the day.”
He walked closer and looked at his patient. She breathed slowly and looked exhausted.
“Poor Lupita, you must be exhausted,” he said.
He pulled up a chair next to the bed and looked out the window.
“The sunset is lovely. Would you like to take a look?”
She kept sleeping. Jabari sighed. Despite her illness, she looked more beautiful than ever. The sun’s golden-red light caressed her smooth skin. Her afro looked luxurious, shiny under the evening light. Slowly, the warm rays turned cool. Jabari turned toward the window and looked at the horizon. The sun had just descended beneath the horizon.
“Ah well, you missed it,” said Jabari.
A pair of bare, Black arms embraced him from behind. Curly afro hair pressed against his face and soft hands touched his beard.
“Hello there.”
“Miss Westenra!”

now I have to find some youtube videos of black women talking sexy in black English, so I can write authentic black dialogue

>>16972904
the second one is very homo

>>16970370
This is how I know you're not a real writer. Real writers don't bitch about the absence of a community and audience, because they are already in the community and it is the audience. If that sounds masturbatory to you--well, see above.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUPoOA_C5tQ

I found some good black dialogue

> doing the nasty
> separate my heart from my vagina
> why don't he want to do it?
> if I'm not gelling with her at the moment, I don't wanna do it
> gurrrrllll
> you gonna have to figure this out
> I have to be real with him

why do i even try with these threads?

>>16974104
"Real writer" my ass. I hate it when people speak of art with a capital A. Arts have always been made for people who can afford it. The reason why some of the older arts seemed to be made for the elites is because only the rich can afford to pay for arts. Music, paintings, sculptures... You want to know which art form is the most accessible to the mass? Story telling! And though there were high and low brows stuff in any age, most great classics are widely accessible like don quixote and illiad. But suddenly wanting people to read your work and praise you for it is beneath "Real Writers" now?

Fuck off with the post modernist trite of art for art sake, that just means doing art for yourself. It's fine if you want to write for a niche market, but when you don't care to have people enjoy your works then why even put the pen down or send it to a publisher? Let it rot in your head or on your hard drive and wank to it if you are a "Real Writer" then

quiet.
like the song
of that old train station.
phone-light cones bared
syringes, soda cans, graffiti.
you were afraid of junkies,
you said. but
all I heard in that
boiler room
was an empty set.
true nothings.
I knew we were safe.

& its quiet now too
but not the same.
grinning just outside
my reach.
it's that silence before
the first punch.
the awkwardness before an
"I've been thinking".
so quiet it cancels the
music from my headphones
so loud it keeps me awake.

quiet only because
pretty soon
it wont be.

>>16974088
You're homo

>>16974369
>art for art's sake
Way to miss the point. You're still tilting at windmills. There is an audience for literary work, and anyone can write for it. (You) simply can't see that audience because you are an outsider. This has nothing to do with class, the ivory tower, or some secret club of keys and bones. You're right that artists make art in order to be seen and recognized. Artists are people, and people are vain. Your work, if you even submitted it, has probably been vetted out of the system precisely because it's not enjoyable to the average literary reader, a figure that exists in editorial boards as well as university application committees. And, just as an aside--art for art's sake is the true motive.

>>16974446
>true motive
Of whom? Pseuds?
Never have I claimed that the audience for literary work doesn't exist. But you seemed to imply it's the only audience worth writing for. If the guy wants to reshape the world to his ideal, or affecting the world with his voice, then it's right to aim for the mass, not the literary niche.
Though pointless, his is a valid complaint that you can't make your voice heard through writing as easily as twerking your ass on onlyfan.

>>16974608
yeah i thought you were the original guy.
>if the guy wants to reshape the world...then its right to aim for the mass
i disagree but i don't care to explain. literature makes nothing happen.

>>16960511
I often listen to music while writing prose but I need absolute silence for poetry (or more purple prose)
The rhythm of the music prevents my mind from creating its own rhythm in my words, if that makes any sense

>>16963163
I have characters and a vague plotline but I have no scenes in my mind to create a story. Obviously I know various things that must occur for the story to progress but I cannot articulate them into real scenes with beginnings and ends, which flow into each other.

>>16973672
What does it have to do with my work if the others are shit? I don't even read them.

>>16971800
>I finally passed the bar exam
How many shots of tequila you can take before you fall off your chair?

>>16971800
CONGRATULATIONS

YOU CAN NOW GET REAL JOB

>>16974040
>it’s Dr. Seward,” said Dr. Seward.
ugh

I just read some Poe. How am I supposed to go on when I'll never have such a powerful command of the English language that he did?

I'm gonna share a poem i wrote, do tell me your thoughts kangs.

I’m perfected by my beloved
A perfected lion by the sharpness of my father
My teeth seek the wisdom of my beloved.
My claws seek the justice of my father,
For in death, it shall purify them.
So, shall i strike and roar,
Thunders roar with me!

Make me pure! Make her pure!
A dark plume falls
There emerges the chariot in darkness
Awaiting for me to open the enigmas of creation
The judgement of celestial law arrives with an ominous blaze
Scales of justice radiates with a mysterious light

So we shall test you with your beloved.
We shall test you with the absolute authority of heaven
Let alone the garments, the shroud of truth shall be lifted for you
The truth shall shake you to the substance of your genius

Surely, you jest Themis
I’m made for my beloved, the truth will shock me to the core
But I will stand though and cling to my beloved
For every accomplishment belongs to my Father, I will appreciate the fruit of him
Now thus, strike me with your mysterious light for i have yet to feed on it
For I will ravage the judgement of heaven,
Then my roar shall demolish the heavens.

When I at times fall suddenly in gloom
And I am swept away by bitter wind-
iness of dreary days turbulent with tombs,


How do I make the third line evoke chaos?

>>16976116
>Everything becomes chaotic.
Take that line and make it sound pretty

>>16976116

When I at times fall suddenly in gloom
And I am swept away by bitter wind
My heart resounds with the riotous silence of the tomb

I made it too long, but, I would go with using imagery that evokes the crowded, restless feeling one can get around the dead.

>>16968814
Yes.

I frequently quote my own books and preface it with "Well, as they say:" because I don't want to just say it and seem pretentious.
One time back when I was in college, I had gotten a proof of one of my self-published books and sitting in the hall outside of a class, proofreading it while I waited, and a black ham planet stopped in front of me and said she had read it before and liked it. She tried to make conversation but I was curt and she walked away like ten seconds later.
There is a "little free library" two streets away and I make sure there are three of my books in it at all time. They always get grabbed and it makes me wonder how many people google my name and realize I'm a shitty local self-published author. At least I know the covers and descriptions are catchy, though, as there are plenty others that have sat in there for well over a year.
Anyone else got some personal writing stories or cringe?

>>16976438
how successful have you been self-publishing? And do you feel any shame?

>>16969302
me again. will make /lit/ another present shortly. any wishes?

>>16976459
Unsuccessful, but in my defense I haven't done a single thing in regards to marketing. I don't have a website or twitter or anything. I make sure the covers look professional and their formatting is absolutely perfect, then just throw 'em on amazon without any fanfare. I make them free for three days on release, make a giveaway thread on reddit in the hopes of getting some reviews, and then I abandon them.

One day I plan on putting my back into it. One day I'll spend money on marketing and they'll be discovered. One day I'll do a campaign for a book release and I'll get more than twenty buys.
One day, definitely, eventually, surely.

>>16976516
can you send me one? i'd love to check it out, anon. maybe make a throwaway link or smth?

>>16976516
I'm an instapoet. I think the name of the game is failure.

>>16976554
oh please share too! i'll follow you, anon

>>16976569
@stanaitisnicholas

>>16976601
I like them. Personal opinion: the content doesn't seem to warrant the meter and would benefit more from a deeper perspective.
That said, I prefer any meter to the usual trash you see everywhere else. Keep up the good work. Lets make it together, anon.

>>16976625
>the content doesn't seem to warrant the meter and would benefit more from a deeper perspective.

Thanks, I'll consider that. I'm wanting to emulate my favourite poets so I expect to see my skill improve with all this writing, reading and studying.

>>16976654
Who are some poets you enjoy? Are any of them relatively modern?

>>16976686
I was hoping you could tell me some contemporary poets to read.

I like the poems from Alexander Pope, Keats, Shakespeare, Wordsmith, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Arthur Hugh Clough etc

I guess I like strong nature imagery and a dreamy aesthetic.

>>16976705
Unfortunately, those are the only ones I can recommend as well. Nothing modern has caught my attention and I was also hoping you'd have some.
Pope is my personal favorite, actually, he got me into it so he holds a special place in my heart. I'll definitely follow your posts because I enjoy them. There needs to be more worthwhile poems these days and good on you for trying. Hopefully you get a nice following.

>>16976746
Thanks man. I won't quit because poetry is my life long dream.

today's gift to /lit/! less gory this time

>>16960470
I'm guessing that's a no.

>>16974040
>Turning his head toward the bed, he found her in the bed
Don't use the same word twice in the same sentence anon. \

Prior reading or advice on writing an ineloquent narrator? She is the protagonist, a teenage tomboy without any passion for language or literature that would justify the complex prose or interesting word choices one would normally use. Doing this is necessary, as I need to viscerally portray her inner experience — the focus of the story.

The best solution I can think of is to write conversationally, making use of self-interruption, meta-commentary, simile, etc. to give the impression she is trying her best to recall the experience. I'm worried that might not be enough, however, and was wondering if there's anything else I can use to keep it interesting.

Chapter 8!

https://awfiction.wordpress.com/2020/12/08/engine-zero-zero-chapter-8/

Do you all prefer writing in pen and paper or typing your writings?

>>16977117
Poetry by hand, stories by type. When it takes more time and effort to write, your words will be better.

>>16977117
Pen and paper is better for getting out a story, without constantly second guessing spelling and editing as you go.
Typing is just so much easier in the long run if you can manage it though.

When I at times fall suddenly in gloom,
And I am swept away by bitter wind-
iness demanding my heart solitude,

How do you tiptoe the line between being on the nose and using imagery?

>>16977117
I speak my stories into my PC's microphone and a speech to text program takes it all down.

>>16977117
Typing. I used pen and paper in my early days, but it's slow and also inefficient in terms of time-management as you'll need to type it out anyway. I still write notes and poems on paper, but that's about it.

>>16977117
Typing. If novelists from the past had this technology, they'd use it.

>>16955248
>Working on sci-fi alien story.
>To develop the setting, I need to research something I'm unfamiliar with.
Aside from the obvious, any recommendations of biblical scholars regarding the Christian Armageddon?

>>16955462
No you are correct if you take the near future. Only the far future like StarWars makes sense for lasers.

>>16978976
>Only the far future like StarWars makes sense for lasers.
Starwars is set in the past though

I'm writing a fantasy story where people in the upper echelon of the monotheistic religion have words which contain power that is unleashed when they speak. To clarify, I mean that any words that they speak are able to injure, depending on the intent and meaning behind them. They shut themselves away and study but are expected to maintain public order when necessary, and they do so by speaking edicts which are in iambic pentameter which both tell the judgment and fulfill it simultaneously (a heathen is read his execution which kills him).
The story itself is about a man who joins the religious order with malintent and, at the story's start, finally decides he has learned enough to invoke his right as a priest to challenge his superior to a public duel, which is essentially an iambic rap battle.

Just by reading that description, how long do you imagine the story? Judging by the current pace and knowing how my rewrites are, it'll end up at about 50k, which is way shorter than most of my fantasy works, but it's also the least developed and most focused fantasy story I've created so far. While the content is serious, it does have traces of comedy by how sincere some of the poems are. Would you read a 50k word fantasy story? Are there any out there?

>>16979279
I don't see any goal for the story. Is the MC just trying to become a priest? Why? Will it end when he does? That's just it? Impossible to tell how long it could be or should be without knowing the plot.

>>16979313
He's already a priest at the story's start. There are a few chapters of events which get across the religious structure and its place in society, as well as why the MC joined; his mother was wrongly punished, so he traveled to a place where no one could recognize him and started studying for years to rise into the ranks. It ends when he beats the equivalent of the pope in a rap battle that destroys the greater part of the city around them and then he realizes what his hubris-fueled revenge has wrought and that he has done more harm than good and he dedicates himself to rebuilding the religion into something worthwhile instead of wholly destroying it like he had dreamed of.

>>16977117
Typing absolutely. Shift-f7 is one of the greatest crutches available to a writer and gives me an advantage over people who ideologically disdain it

>>16977737
I'd stop using overworked cliches like gloom and heart and bitter and suddenly

>>16978876
No recommendations but the term "eschatology" will help you refine your search.

>>16979356
The whole system sounds absurdly broken. If it were that easy to level cities, the world should've been turned to wasteland long before the MC's birth. If one word can have that much power, shouldn't the one to open his mouth first win instantly, making long rap battles technically impossible? It also doesn't sound believable that the MC could gain that much power, but remain oblivious to its effects and consequences up until the very end.

I mean, a fun idea, but I'd recommend you think about it a little more.

>>16979428
It's not literally "what you say happens" or it wouldn't even be a battle. Their emotions are fuel for the words they speak and it's a difficult technique known only by priests. There is nearly a whole chapter explaining the conversion of emotion to word and word to action, but the tl;dr is emotions must be channeled towards specific words which synchronize with the words around them, with rhymes having the power to multiply their power significantly, and all of that needs to be fueled by one sole desire, which is why MC is able to do what he does. The MC wants to destroy the religion. I don't really expect you to understand it because I'm purposely leaving out keywords and connections because I don't want to be linked back here if I do end up publishing it.

>>16979493
None of the technicalities remove the problems. Justifying it with the MC being a special snowflake is the worst way to get around the pitfalls. Did he bang his mom, or where did the burning desire to rid the world of religion come from? His motivation sounds just really juvenile. I wouldn't read this, but do whatever you like.

>>16979533
>I don't know the technicalities but they can't remove the problems with the rules or systems that I do not know
I understand it's not an easy sell, I'm not trying for traditional publishing with this. I was simply asking if anyone had or would read a 50k word fantasy story as I know none of them.

Retard here. Whats is this hammer cross sign and what does it mean?

>>16979607
I don't even understand the question. Who the hell picks up genre fiction based on the length? "This story is really hooking, but I think it might be under 55k words, oh no that's a hard pass for me!" what

>>16979682
It means you must post the page on 50 other threads or your mother will die in her sleep tonight

>>16979689
>Who the hell picks up genre fiction based on the length?
fantasy readers

>>16979736
<citation needed>

Never mind. Would I read 50k words of your shit without knowing anything about it? Fuck no. The end.

>seemed
>felt
I am beginning to despise these words

I wrote 6,500 words in the last two days and I have no idea how much is actually essential to the story and how much is meaningless bullshit. I think seeing how part of the character's family interacts is important, but how much is necessary vs when does it become fluff and I just don't know where that line is.

>inb4 don't think about it until after you're done writing it

Obviously. But once I'm done writing for the day my brain can't help but start thinking about what I've written. Showing how tedious a day with the character's family is seems important, but when does it become too much and annoying?

And it does serve a purpose in moving the plot along. He had to go spend the day with them because he knew that if he went there they'd buy him a charge card for his phone service that he couldn't afford himself, which is what he needed to be able to call the girl that gave him her number.

It's all probably just a "it feels like forever writing it, but reading it will be 20 minutes" kind of situation, but still...

>>16979895
Were you the ESL anon writing the wattpad story about the guy running away from home and eventually meeting the celestial deity girl?

>>16975505
I thought it was funny ...

>>16976959
thanks, good catch

>>16979920
No. Did my rambling actually read like an ESL person? Fuck me, maybe I should just go neck myself. brb, famalam

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_2D8Eo15wE

>>16979942
No, it's actually fine. Part of the summary just reminded me of his and he has gone radio silence ever since his initial posts. But yeah, just don't overthink about it too much. I wrote like 4 consecutive flashback chapters before I started resuming the plot in the present and was too anxious about it not being recieved well.

>>16979961
>4 consecutive flashback chapters
Were they all in order? Like, did you go back and follow the same plot line through all 4 chapter like any other part of the story, or where they different flashbacks?

>>16980020
They were in order and follow the perspective of one dude. The first is a few years earlier than the successive chapters, and then the rest is over the span of two days, and then the last one is set a month after and resumes in the present in the same chapter.

>>16980089
Yeah, that seems fine, but I can see how it would mess with you.

>>16979682
Nobody has the answer?

>>16963144
Even better.

>>16979682
>>16980126
Not the thread for this. It's not in the english or greek editions so it must be specific to that book and should say in the intro.

>>16980273
You are right thanks. The sign represents 2 flutes and it means that theres music playing along

>>16977117
Write first type later. I do a lot of other things on a computer so starting from the computer is a temptation to be distracted. Writing is good for getting the idea out distraction-free, typing lets me correct myself and start editing while making use of thesauruses and other technology at that point.

>>16969893
>>16970211
Game of Thrones has the same thing, is it just an old-timey way of saying it?

>>16979794
same

>>16958029
Fuck that author. He's not what made you want to write.

>>16958029
Keep writing.

/wg/, I just realized something. I've more or less centralized an entire cosmological fantasy story within the confines of a single post-apocalyptic city, but I never really considered what's outside its borders. I could simply build a wall around the city, arguing that the apocalypse divided the world into bubbles, but the possibility of "opening up" the setting is suddenly filling me with the thrill I've been missing. The only problem is, how do I do that without adding a whole mess of new factions to the story that would make things even more complicated and cluttered than it already is?

I gave up on fiction writing after my projects came close to being published and then were dropped last minute, this happening three or four times frustratingly. Has anyone else experienced this? Anyway this is my first return to it, much more enjoyable now that I no longer seem to care about being published.

>Crowdsss

It is rush hour in the city and the streets are bustling with pedestrians. The pavement is not visible underneath this milling mass of people. There is no unified movement shared among them, patterns and passageways form and then collapse upon themselves. Yet each participant is a person in their own right. Whatever that means. Look now at this old woman.

Shelley Corbson walks with a shimmy. Her body has adapted to her compulsive need to bring her small dog with her everywhere, causing her hips to slant to the right. She always carries the dog with her right arm which is considerably stronger than her left. This chow sits in a cotton bag that Shelley swings dangerously low to the ground, back and forth. While she walks through this crowd, the dog in bag enters a nightmarish dimension of scissoring legs coming from every conceivable direction. She thinks the world of her dog. But the world thinks nothing of her dog, in fact, the world thinks less than nothing of her dog, it would consider itself markedly improved without this dog. And the world nearly has its wish when Jacob Reilly, walking the opposite direction, narrowly misses the chow’s paper-thin cranium with his knee. The knee instead collides with Shelley’s hip, correcting its slant. The old woman and Jacob share a breathless grumble at each other and part ways. Jacob wipes the memory from his brain and continues through the crowd, careful not to let people brush against his nice suit. He doesn’t have time to think about silly things, he has an important meeting. When Jacob gets to that meeting he intends on impressing his clients and not being overly gay. Because he is gay, you know, a regular guy who just happens to be gay. But not overly gay and he’s proud of that, he’s just gay. Regular gay. And really no one would really know – not that he hides his gayness but just that it’s not the most obvious thing about him. He smiles to himself, smug-like, he’s proud of it. Yet little does Jacob Reilly know, contrary to this, that all the world sees in him is his gayness. In fact, every other non-gay aspect of him is entirely engulfed by his gayness. All that can be seen or will ever be remembered of him is his gay gayness. Jacob passes by a man named Mr Chege, also wearing a nice suit and on his way to an important business meeting. Mr Chege is black and it’s pretty much the same deal with him.

>read the rest at https://pastebin.com/6nuFpAm1

>>16982219
What about introducing stories and rumours of factions outside the borders (there's your excitement) and then once your characters leave they find out it was lies and/or those cities from the stories have collapsed become ruined (there is avoiding the mess cluttering your world).

>>16979794
>I am beginning to despise these words

oh no

>>16982219
Mystery always a nice feature of a story. Don't feel obligated to explain the details of the outside world. But if it's something that excites you, go for it