/lit/ - Literature

No it won't

My dick stays hard yuh
You niggas stay soft yuh

I have been thinking about suicide a lot. Wish I had a gun on me. Staying cooped up at home with my mom is making my mind deteriorate. I wish I had friendship and sex and a future.

Feel emotionally dependent upon the same family I have spent so much time and energy pushing away. Like even as I carve out a life apart from them the periodic visit is necessary for me to assert my sense of identity to myself, in both the praise and criticism of my family. It is pathological, abusive toward my family and my self. But even through their hatred I feel a warmth in them I have never found anywhere else. I am an adult man but I cannot forget the womb.

Stop being weak.

Cold showers tell you much about life. If you think about the cold for too long, you won't dare to go under the shower. Once you've turned on the water, the first moment is shocking. But if you jendure one or two turnarounds, the water becomes bearable. There is also a kind of cold that is too much for the body. It either knocks you out immediately, or it makes your body hypothermic and insensitive. Thank you for reading.

>>16889065
This too shall pass. There will be a time one can work towards a relationship and friends, and a future. Just hold on a little longer.

>>16889069
Same. My family is annoying as hell. The worst part is my mom moved near me. She always says she wants to move to a retirement community somewhere rural, but instead she moved like three blocks away from me. What the fuck, fuck off!

>>16888982
you are little rat

>>16889076
I clean myself with hot water but before I leave the shower I put it as cold as it can get. At first I could only last 30 seconds but once now I can stay under for a few minutes. I'm hoping to get to the point where I take my entire shower with cold water. I feel very energized and alive after the cold, and apparently cold showers boost your immune system.

>>16888888

really just tryna learn how to live love without being a degenerate desu

>>16888996
Addison Rae
On top of me,uh
Addison Rae
She be my bitch
Addison Rae
Suckin muh dig
Addison Rae
She be my bitch,uh

I find it oddly soothing to watch old war footage or graphic war films while depressed. It's not that I find any sick pleasure in the bloodshed. Seeing such overt extremes of externalized suffering forms a kind of musical complement to my inner suffering and cancels it out. I see myself in it, it makes sense to me, and I find that agreeing. On the surface it's absurd that one would find relief in war footage. I don't want to cheer myself up, I want to transcend myself in the deafening din of artillery bombardments. Obviously it's not like experiencing the real thing, but the intensity of the footage still comes across and the intensity of it is what makes me feel other than the deadness.

>>16889988
just live laugh love bro
just
live laugh love

>>16890081
I'm just trying to make sense of some shit that happened and of what to do. I studied Islam for a while now but there are some things that are hard to accept. Generally Islam is... the ummah resembles a people. I know of nothing in Islam to warrant treating anyone worse for not being muslim, but it is recurring that muslims should go out of their way to help muslims, to the extent that we should close ranks if anyone messes with us. What I can't get over is that 1. an enormous part of the religion hinges upon a textual tradition whos transmission is less than certain (the hadiths); 2. I'm not sure I want to back every Mo and Abdullah in every fight ever, just because they are muslims; 3. there needs to be some form of re-adaptation for the modern world (some people will want to execute me for saying this, but I've heard it said by at least 3 shaikhs), and as long as there isn't one, the law is confused; 4. there is major fitna in the muslim world, constant war over narratives and actual war over resources, power, etc, meaning the ummah is completely fragmented, and a lot of Mos and Abdullahs are fighting over things that are clearly bullshit and I just want out of it. Generally I want a religion that I can practice for me and my family, and where the rest of the world can go to hell as far as I'm concerned (not really, and it should be imperative to help people and stand for what's right, and it really is in Islam, but what I mean is I think my religion should be about me and what I do, not some communal project).

At the same time, I had a kind of mystical experience a couple of years ago that... was mixed. One part of it ended up being why I turned toward Islam. The other part rather would find realization in something like daoism, which does share some major similarities with Islam imo, but also enormous differences. Daoism is not legalistic at all, I don't believe it has any conception of "sin". I tried to ignore this side for a couple of years but it came back and won't go away. I now think God has intended for me to be some form of hybrid, which sounds wrong in every way but I can't see what else He could mean by what He has put me through.

>>16890370
I would like to add on the Islam side that I started out with Christianity but found it to be not enough of an exoteric method. Basically I absolutely loved reading the Gospel, love Jesus, but it didn't stick. Perhaps I was among the seed that landed in rocky earht: took root enthusiastically but was soon burned off by the sun. If so then I should be in peril, though I would like to claim the word is still in me. Islam spoke to me almost immediately, and expressed a relationship to God that rang completely true. I think having 5 obligatory daily "re-connections" with God through recitation of scripture and bowing is perfection of exoteric religion. So it's not all one-sided

>>16889091
I am 22 and will graduate with an English degree in the spring. I have no prospects, no connections, no friends, and no license. It looks all down hill from here.

>>16890603
just become a high school english teacher. the kids will save you. haven't you seen movies?

>>16890370
>>16890472
Well look at it this way. Being Muslim right now is "live love" on hard mode. You have access to a unique experience. I think being skeptical of the law, ritualism and tradition is good because it decouples you from the Pharasiac mindsets and hypocritical shiekhs who are now the predominant force. So you have the oppurtunity of navigating the world, trying to help the Muslim world in its time of crisis while at the same time, not just being a blind follower or losing yourself into things/people that you cannot change. You can learn to balance empathy and critical thinking. I think its like having openly abusive and/or mentally ill family member - you can't abandon them, but helping them may cause as much harm as it does good. I think if you are willing to do it, Islam could provide you a great oppurtunity for inner growth. You can see the exoteric practice for what it really is - a tool not the end goal like what mainstream Muslims think it is. Good luck and godspeed

>>16890646
based, I'm assuming you're referring to the Dead Poet's Society?

>>16890673
thanks anon, I'll think about it

>>16888957
So many times I try to give people advice its rejected or they get angry. I know people dont want answers they just want comfort and someone to agree with them but I cant help but blurt this shit out it just comes naturally its just who I am. I might end up living like a hermit in the future Im so tired of people

>>16890683
What about that one with Michelle Pfeifer and Coolio? Was she an English teacher? I don't remember.

>>16890683
most movies, I think, but sure

I'm super super tempted to buy the upgrade to Reason 11 that's on sale right now for $90. The upgrades almost never go on sale, so if I'm ever going to upgrade I should do it now or not. Still, I know I'll twiddle some knobs on the new synths for an hour and then never use it again. Spending the $90 on basically anything else would provide more utility in my life. I want it so bad though.

I live in a small rural village in eastern Canada. I took it upon myself to write letters from Santa to the children of the village. It's a project I presented to the town council and they happily agreed. The children send their letters to the town hall instead of Canada Post and I pick them up once in a while and reply. The replies are very personalized to each child depending what they wrote in their letters and what they asked for gifts.


The "official" Santa letters from Post Canada are very disappointing. They also have only one model and will send the same letters to every child in the family. It really breaks the immersion and magic of it all. I think I can make a difference in their Christmas experience by doing what I'm doing this year.

I bought some nice ivory 27 pounds textured paper and some classic "airmail" envelopes. I'm using a typewrite style font but I sign the letters and write the addresses with a fountain pen.

It's also a very interesting literary exercise. I have this "lore" I'm developing for my version of Santa and North Pole and found an interesting style I'm writing in. I will also keep a copy of the child's letters and my replies for the following years so I can reference them if they write to "me" again.

There is non-difference (the One, God, Substance, Self, however you want to call it) and there is difference (change, flux, interaction, others, however you want to call it). We are non-difference, but our consciousness only knows and operates with difference. Thus we never truly know what we are or our real self, we can't truly comprehend God or the One, we can only make an image of these things or describe them with lacking words. We know on the other hand much more about things that change over time due to our conscious mode of being, so we know different aspects of ourselves or others, about the history of religion and the world.
As beings that are conscious, we think, act and feel in relation to non-difference without ever fully comprehending it. Death, or rather non-existence, then is a placeholder for whatever we think of non-difference. And as you can easily see, non-existence is just as unthinkable as non-difference.

>>16891761
Good for you, I hope they appreciate it.
I wonder how many kids still believe in Santa now that all the popular toys are obvious factory products. Even a very young kid can understand there's something off about magical elves making things like Barbie dolls and Lego sets that all look the same, come in plastic packaging, and are advertised on TV 24/7.

https://youtu.be/esNLZq7U8x8?t=6541

anyone feel like parents whose offspring commits suicide are probably involved in child sacrifice rituals?

i feel just so incredibly fucking lost and miserable.

>>16888957
I regret nothing and you people are slaves to your evolutionary parasitic predatorial essence. You are all demons, and parasitically controlled by hateful machinations of creation.

Write a poem :)

>>16888957
no-

I find myself completely deprived of motivation and I don’t know what can pull me up.
This year I was supposed to grow and develop but everyday has felt like an ongoing series of failures.
I wasn’t there for my friend’s suicide attempt.
I haven’t achieved the results I wanted.
I’m losing my faith.
My relationships are drifting apart.
I’ve become physically unfit.
I am conflicted about dwelling in my feelings especially since I recognise that inaction is death.

The thread on Hume that just got deleted, what the fuck? Do jannies don't know who Hume is?

>>16893446
>This year I was supposed to grow and develop
It's 2020. Everyone's plans were totally fucked.

Where can i find a cutie, blue-eyed, blonde girly to dress up in nazi uniform for me that would lead to possionate lovemaking?

>>16893655
Just buy one of them fancy sex dolls, the manufacturer will customize her for you in all aspects but clothing.

>>16892580
and yet difference happens along what seem to be pre-ordained lines (morality, natural law). and anyone who comes closer to the reality of non-difference, through whichever method of enlightenment, testifies that it is good. Even if this only tells us that the human consciousness is designed to find it good, that still is remarkable.

>>16891761
well that's pretty cool anon. good luck in your endeavours.

There is nothing quite as good as spending an entire day reading

>>16888957
Niggers. Niggers in America are shaping Europe. NIGGERS IN AMERICA ARE SHAPING HOW EUROPEANS TALK.NIGGERS.

>>16888957
I'm in the midst of some of the worst writer's block I've ever experienced. Whenever I sit down to write (which I attempt daily) it feels like I'm trying to squeeze the last bit of tooth paste out of the tube. Previously, there would be some spark of divinity that would inspire my writing, as if my mind was reaching out to some other universe where these events were real. Not so much these days. My job has become incredibly bland, with a new stressor revealing itself almost every day (trouble with securing time off for the holidays, trouble at home, drama with friends, a myriad of issues with my company) It leaves me all so drained I don't want to do anything other than occupy myself with pointless distractions. I keep telling me that this will not last. Once the winter break arrives I'll have time to unwind, or once my new job starts I'll be more financially stable. But upon reflection I've spent more of my life waiting out the clock than I'm willing to admit.

I'm working on a short story so I can at least have something complete under my belt, but as of this post, I have written and rewritten the beginning 3 or 4 times. OP's music choice was kino btw

I'm getting turned down in real time. she will not respond over this weekend. that will be the end. maybe it was a while ago, but this will be final.

I suspect it will hurt. I don't know for how long.

I was looking at this person I knew who became a small time social media personality. He unloads everything he can on twitter, and that works for him since his personality is made of hardcore consumerism and memes. I used to have private conversations with him and I know that this is his actual personality, or at least the same persona he displays in private. Maybe he filters a few things here and there but the transition is seamless. He can mindlessly type down every detail of his thought train or his life and get a rich, organic and user-friendly social media feed. He sticks an ad for his shit here and there and it works.

When I had to manage a social media I had such a hard time self-censoring posts that would have come off as off-putting, awkward, ambiguous or too personal that I ended up posting nothing at all. I can't be clownish so humor was not an option. I had no interest in the trends, drama or products. When I forced my thoughts into the format I ended up saying idiotic things I hated, and that didn't represent me at all. And those things were stuck on the timeline forever.

So seeing my friend at work was mystifying, social media really is made with the well-inserted person in mind. Only a person whose thoughts are perfectly in line with the zeitgeist can be "productive" on social media, only when you don't have to deconstruct and adjust for the twitter humor, timing, etc. you can create a rich, uninterrupted flow of content that keeps your account alive and visible. I really miss personal blogging.

How do I get big as an insta poet?

>>16893963
be female and a ruthless social climber with no ethics

>>16893968
Traditional publishing doesnt seem feasible

>>16893981
instagram is about marketing and making connections with other marketers
you have to understand marketing, your craft is unimportant

I like longish and overly straight forward book titles.
- The Man who was Raped by a Woman
- The Man who became a Dog for his Mistress

>>16893764
>yet difference happens along what seem to be pre-ordained lines

It's almost like there is a gradation between non-difference and difference. Things with more non-difference appear slower for consciousness, like a tree, while things that tend towards difference appear faster, like a flying plane, yet both are moving objects. We recognize relatively repetitive and consistent patterns, like the rise and fall of the sun, which seem to be non-different, and also rather random occurrences, like getting hit by lightning and being bitten by a snake at the same time, which are different case to case.

I think consciousness structures everything between relative non-difference and relative difference while it can never experience the absolutes of these - these absolutes are mere concepts and with Hegel we can say that non-difference and difference in their absolute form are the very same. The Good you was talking about lays in the absolute, and we are pointed towards it, but there is no certainty if we acclaim it better in difference or in non-difference.

i hate this website, this website is bad

No /crit/ thread

I saw a smelly dirty kike looking at soaps
"Family reunion?"
They said something back, as jews tend to
I kept walking knowing all their rhetorical tricks
Of course the soap wasn't for her old snatch
Any risk of becoming less slippery and snake like would be an assault on Judaism
Washing themselves would be antisemitic
The thought itself made it worth the trouble and I chuckled to myself
The smell of kike, as offensive as the kike herself, is the mark of jewish love
Walking still until I'm outside the store, in front of howling traffic and crowds
The air carries with it burdens of sin, weighing me down, wearing down my soul
But I can't let the jew win with clever tricks
Black and white look at each other and there's hope but then the jew steps in
Until the jew is stepped on, on its head
How you kill all snakes

I have a strong feeling that I am not a very good or likeable person.

>>16894115
>but there is no certainty if we acclaim it better in difference or in non-difference

To add on this, what I mean is simply that sometimes a little gesture from a loved one can be more important to you than years of work in your field of study or religion.

we may not always now the exact spirit of the law, but I think we can be quite sure that just the legal text, with no spirit, is never right

>>16888957
I'm going to masturbate to some tranny porn

I'm scared of people
I'm so scared of people that I'm really scared of the feeling of being scared of people
I don't go out much.

>>16894453
I'm a retard that spaz out but fuck evolution. Why am I like this? My biological system isn't threatened. I get my kink from watching others become uncomfortable to me be a retard. It's great and I get my kicks from other people.

I am cool

>>16894287
based

>>16894483
>I get my kink from watching others become uncomfortable to me be a retard. It's great and I get my kicks from other people.
sounds decent. I want some kind of affirmation from people that I am a normal human being like them, and so when this doesn't happen I become sad. I'm not really sure why I value this so much desu. It might be simple vanity.

Should I join the military? I fucked up high school so no scholarships, I'm a pudgy nerd sick of living a cushy sheltered existence under my overbearing Mom, I just want to feel alive somehow.
>>16894118
same

>>16894653
I can tell you're the kind of guy who needs to be told what to do, so yeah go for it

>>16894681
>I can tell you're the kind of guy who needs to be told what to do
Damn.

>>16889076
Based wim hof enjoyer

>>16894521
I always wanted to be acknowledged as normal by others my whole life because I felt off, not in the right place, an observer slightly outside off the communicative sphere others seem to thrive in. Then I just stopped thinking about it and that helped. It's all an act and it's your goal to make yourself believe you're part of that act. There IS NO normaldom. Everyone as an individual is completely alone and separate, crazy on their own terms, and it is just key to believe in social reality to make it real and free you from your alienated oberserver role - you might think of it as an illusion, but you accept the illusion and that's your normalcy. Best we can do.

I don't know what's wrong with me, but I read The Horla and all I could think about was how this would make a great premise for erotica.

I am pretty afraid to die, ive tried to be a good stoic or to surpress it with buddhist presence. But i am deeply scared of falling into the long abyss. And i am also afraid that we live in a society that doesnt value human life enough, or that we take it for granted. I think if people really thought about the implications of how limited our time on this earth is we would be more compassionate.

Finished working for the week so all I'm thinking of is all the LEEEEEEEEEEEE-AYA-SUUUUUUREEEE I'm about to have.

>>16895315
Afraid of suffering or really just death?
If it's the latter what is there to be afraid of unless you believe in a hell?

>>16895383
I guess its both, but for why i am afraid of non-being its just the idea of it makes me uncomfortable. Like all there ever was, was my life, everything i know and everything ive experienced, the planet itself has happened through my eyes. And then im going away forever... I dunno i struggle with it.

what would you want from a wife? assuming like me you are all hopeless degenerates, but what would be the point to you do you think? whenever I am attracted to a woman I feel like I want to share everything with her, but in reality I'm an extremely secluded person and I would probably want to be in a marriage too

less than 300 words left on my paper we are all gonna make it bros

>>16895615
>what would you want from a wife?
I want her to put on a latex suit that cover her whole body except for her asshole and I want her to shit on my face. I, too, want to marry a christian girl.

>>16895621
Were all gonna make it

>>16888957
Reading doesn't seem to make me a better writer
Writing doesn't seem to make me a better writer
I sit around in a trash filled apartment feeling like I should be dead and not doing anything
I don't even play video games anymore
Why am I alive

>>16895832
make up exercises. just doing something 10.000 times won't teach you anything, you have to be trying to do something. like walk around the city, see what you see, try to come up with narratives. something like that. something has to engage you and challenge you intellectually, just repetition won't do
t. should be a Much better guitar player if I had only practiced intelligently and not just slowly picked stairway to heaven in front of the tv for years

>>16894118
this website is unironically amazing. The problem is that you probably live here 24/7. Maybe try to only go to 4chan at the weekends?

>>16895832
Even in laughter the heart is sorrowful; and the end of that mirth is heaviness.

>>16894653
>my overbearing Mom
At the very least take any job you can find and then rent a cheap room somewhere away from her. That's the first step. Then figure out the next after that's done. Smothering moms are the worst, especially if you don't have much of a father in the picture. Get the hell out of there. Sign up for the military if you must, but that might be an extreme measure.

>>16893832
no, she straight up blocked me. honestly kinda prefer it over being ghosted. this is a kind of an answer at least, finality.

I dislike free speech and the internet. The internet has fucked up healthy human socialization permanently.

>>16897352
anonymity was a mistake

>>16896571
>this website is unironically amazing.
eh. i'd rather discuss literature with an older crowd rather than some 20-30 year old weeaboo that thinks berserk or evangelion is high literature.

>>16897370
Yeah, I only post on 4chan cuz you don't need an account. I only play Krunker cuz you don't need an account. I'm kind of hoping the Biden Internet Taskforce for Combating Online Extremist or whatever it's called recommends banning anonymous speech on the internet. I will have so much more time once 4channel is finally cancelled. I'll still play Krunker tho cuz you aren't allowed to type messages if you're playing as Guest which is just fine. These startup culture chuds on HN or Indie Hackers etc. always tell you that you have to try to make your users make an account right away so you can spam them to death with special offers and track the hell out of them for your analytics, but actually if you let users use your shit easily and anonymously they get addicted to it because of the low friction. They think the high barrier shows more commitment to being a buyer, but I think it's better to get the users addicted first, then monetize them.

>>16897397
berserk and evangelion unironically started my /lit/ journey.

>>16897685
yes and I'm sure you're still starting with the greeks too.

I dont have many phobias except for the deep sea, which is a common fear, but its still wierd when you consider how little danger it presents to a human. It couldnt have been a problem for your ancestors and its really not a problem for you at all. You have a low chance of waking up swimming in the darkness. There probably hasnt been any deaths in waters deep enough that sunlight doesnt reach you at all. And we've only very recently had a glance at the type of things swimming down there and they have all been scary without exception, even though they're harmless. So it cant even be the fear of the unknown anymore since we know now whats out there. We know now for sure that there are scary harmless things in there. I think somethings are just inherently scary.

>>16897690
fuck you bitch

>>16897730
ahahaha

>>16897747
how did you start reading?

Need me some sloppy head from a bitch with pink hair. Sweaty anal with a turtelnecked arthoe on weed. A makeout session with a scenegirl on a partapotty at a MCR concert. A round of BDSM with one of those poser e-thots. Quickie with a MILF after her husband is at work but before she has to grab her kid from kindergarden. A cosplay-con blowjon followed by a night in her hotel room. Fucking a black cheeked up ghetto princess in a weed hazed traphouse. Climbing through a window just to dive between the thighs of my jewish temptress again. Getting texts from a mischievous bratty asian, eager for a new present and another couple of bruises. Asking a longlegged goth to keep her fishnets on this time.

This is what zero pussy does to a MFer.

I think I'm going to make a tinder. I am lonely and horny and can't take it any longer. I also probably have no chance non-online. What should I write in my bio to attract my future /lit/ gf?

I hate working retail

im sexting with some girl.
Maybe its cringe and a terrible mistake but i dont care anymore at this point

>>16897875
your mbti type (INTP because you seem like the right kind of autistic loser), mention that you are blackpilled and that you browse 4chan, include 2 selfies, one in front of a dirty mirror and another in a poorly lit room, list your height but add 4 inches, include an epic meme in your pics (pepes work wonders). Trust me, after you do all that the bitches will start rolling in.

>>16898117
mbti type only works on bumble
tinder chicks only care about looks or how many cool clubs you go to

>>16897351
I really liked her, but at the same time hardly knew her. God willing I will have learned my lesson and not get my hopes up too soon. That, and hopefully I can learn to hide the fact that I actually am a little desperate

>>16897875
"tired of living in a confederacy of dunces"

>>16898067
Might be time to find a new job my dude. It's not meant to be a career.

>>16898117
>>16898176
I was thinking of just putting that I like literature, retro anime, and communism. I'm not putting mbti because I don't want to get any girls that are into that shit.

How can I read faster?

I sometimes feel like writing extremely specific fetish/kink ERP writings to other people online much be equivalent to writing fiction of any other kind, the only difference is how personalized it is and how many people will read it.

The inherit value should be in the quality of the writing, and not the subject matter. But I have a gut reaction whenever I feel this way, probably due to the culture in which I was raised which puts sexual creativity as a "lesser" form. Perhaps it is true, I can't really tell.

oh shit bros Tyson vs. Jones is tonight! Find a stream!

the last physical human will be born in less than 500 years.

I hate being a coom brain and I wanna get out of this mindset. I haven't coomed yet this whole month but I still watched and saved porn. I have like 2000+ clips saved. A good chunk of them is 3D.
Fucking SFM porn took me by the neck (and dick) for the past 3 years.

I work at a bookstore and it's hell, and I think I'd prefer any other braindead job to the elite and based occupation of bookselling.

The bookstore I work at sells a lot of fiction written by authors local to the city I'm living in, a city which probably has more local pride and patriotism than any other city left in America. But I'm not from this place, so every time someone tries to ask for some fucking shit that's probably called The Shipwreck Palace by Todd Brunting or Her Dark Eclipse by Mary Jane Lee Mulligan Elsney it's like their mouths are moving but they're just making the noises the adults would make in the old Peanuts cartoons. And I can't just be loosely dismissive of these $35 glossy hardback bricks, I've made it my job to know something about the four signed copies of Curtis Curtis Jr.'s 1992 cookbook that inexplicably lie on the shelves. But can I really bear to degrade myself and my time by slamming my head up against a wall of modern genre fiction which so clearly stinks of a culture whose soul has fled and even whose corpse is more soil than substance.

But all the worse are the few people who come into this bookshop expecting something, who clearly have a corner of soul left intact. I have nothing I can provide them. I can't find the thing that would propel them. Nothing I've read is on the shelves, nothing on the shelves is something I've read. I'm living in an alien world where I do not belong, and that I should go back to where I came from. I've got nothing to offer here.

main event starting, find a stream on /sp/ quick!

>>16900118
tyson lookin beast with the classic short shorts and everything

>>16900143
tyson nailed jones chin and jones sprung to life looking alive now!

>>16900156
jones just holding the whole time now, what a crumb bum

>>16899136
How can you watch that sfm shit? It all looks awful

>>16897804
This is all pretty vanilla stuff. "On weed" lmao

tyson just ripped jones balls lmao but the ref didnt say shit

>>16888957
Depressed as all hell. Got rejected big time by a girl I've had feelings for for the last 6 years, both of us have feelings for each other but we're far apart in terms of physical distance. Really doesn't help that we're very close to each other in terms of friendship.
I graduate this spring with a bachelor's in applied mathematics/statistics. I don't know what to do post graduation. I think I'm not smart enough either for getting a job in industry (if the economy even exists at that point lol) or going to grad school. I've been thinking a lot about killing myself in the coming weeks but I don't want to make either my family, friends, or roommates sad. god, everything hurts and I just want to sleep forever.

A draw? Tyson had Jones holding on for dear life.

>>16900189
Some of them hit my niche so I tolerate it. Some are decent/good animators.

If you are reading this, then that means I have passed. I want you to know that I have always loved you. I wasn’t the best at showing it, and was not always the most affectionate, but know that my love never had a single doubt. I know that it is hard, and will be hard, but always remember that I am watching you from above, as you are reading this, sleeping when you sleep, and we will meet again in time.

>>16900336
don't do it bruv. god help you

>>16900220
post-graduate depression is super common. chances are you end up doing something you never even considered before and you might even like it. get help mang

>>16900352
Thanks for the concern, but it is part of a letter to my family if I die on deployment

>>16900336
Please don't watch me masturbate

>>16899723
Waldun... is that you?

>>16888957
I'm afraid for the future.
I'm involved in a project where you have to let others check your work, but even though I sent out my work to be checked and I have checked the other person's work, I have not received their critique. I have to use that critique to refine my work and submit it by the due date, but since I think I am the only one doing any work I cannot begin my final stage.

When it comes to my long-term concerns, it is mostly my fault. I have no plans for the future, I just hope that I will not be counter-productive by doing something stupid like sperging out.

I have also started spending more time on boards other than /pol/. You can actually get better political conversations and share better ideas on other boards. That shithole has reduced itself to a "current events" board; it needs a new name.

>>16900367
ok
thanks man

fuckin England's shit innit

you know whats are acting a fool outside. they are breaking into the lobby of the building across the way. it's always nice to be reminded that if i had gone out tonight i would have been harassed, robbed, and probably beaten by these things. the cops will get here late and do nothing. even if they do make arrests they won't make any charges. why bother? a billion more petty crimes and menaces to society going on at the same time, every night. go outside at your own peril, play the lottery. but if you say anything, you're racist. can't even say anything here or i'll be banned for unclean thoughts if some janny comes by. i eagerly await the lecture from some kind anon, about how it's just poverty and i should feel guilty for even being irritated by it.

is this really how the human species ends? all the wonderful things we read about in books, all of the things we used to accomplish, all turned into a fading, decaying playground for these awful people? and the whole time i have to smile and nod and make excuses or i'm the bad guy

>>16888957
I would like to make the world a happier place through my work, both in terms of my career and in my artistic endeavors.

>>16900803
If it's any consolation, the play I am working on is set in England and Ireland :)

>>16900803
seems pretty comfy desu, shame its just wet and not snowy... comfy looking town you got there, not this red brick commieblock i live in...

Immensity of boredom
directionless distraction
Infinite imitation in a screen bound simulacrum
nevertheless superior to a reality inferior
thoughts have more substance than matter
character audiences in a play with no actors
the world is a stage
your eyes are binocular
see things and sail in seas of seeded free fragments of speech read from a distance
observe and imitate phrases
phases of the moon have no meaning
electron bodies arranged in implications and strange leanings
changes in abstract temperature
constellations seen in the failings of men
zen archers aim at images and words with no ultimate when
a dream unable to fly
man sees what he wants to see
that which is desired of the future will not be
all that drifts in time becomes dust
what settles on the earth shall rust
the origin is eternal and in this we are holy
we will return from where we came and this is certain only

>>16901149
The torturous flow of life, swells on the shores and rocky cliffs of misfortune
A storm of indecision and hurt with no salvation, no container to contain it
A weed of impermanence in the flowing wind of time, a seed of self with no fertile ground to materialise
How beautiful a thing to behold, in a moment captured
By a photograph or stencil painting, an eternity to behold.

>>16901107
Good luck, hope it turns out good anon

>>16901123
tbf the photo makes it look a lot better than it actually was. For some reason it came out really bright even though it was still pretty fuckin dark and dismal at seven in the morning. Also, being Polish, I'd probably feel more at home in a red brick commie block. And my local area definitely is not comfy, there's smackheads everywhere.

>>16901248
>even though it was still pretty fuckin dark and dismal at seven in the morning.
Tell me about it i live in Stockholm, we get like 5 hours of daytime tops. And there is no sun.

But hey, atleast we have some good Polish tunes to keep us company
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A41PF4lUkrg

>>16901260
>>16901260
Yeh I really can't wait for days to start getting longer again. As it is now I start work when it's still pitch black outside, there's no windows in the warehouse I slave away at so I don't see the sun then, and by the time I get home there's only about an hour and a half before it starts getting dark again. But yeh, at least we've got some tunes to help us through these rough times.

TWO people in the last MONTH have complimented my writing on 4channel
is this something to be proud of?

simple as

HUEHUEHUEHUE LETS RAPE WOMEN THROUGH WIRELESS TECHNOLOGY NO ONE WILL KNOW

NO

ONE

WILL

KNOW

HUEHUEHUEHUAUHAUHAUHAUHAUI*HJAUHGuHAUHAUHu

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO I MUST OPPRESS

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I NEED YOUR MIND

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>plausible deniable contempt and hatred generated from a goblin empire of historical evil muhmuhmuhmuhmuhmuh

Sexe et erotisme by Maurice Leblanc is a nice collection of short stories, although it's more exploring human interaction and consequences of certain decisions, rather than being a proper erotica. In a way it feels more satisfying that way.
However the publisher is a bastard for putting Lupin on the cover, he ain't in a single story there.

>>16901482
oh wow so esotheric so cool

>>16901485
Are you okay, anon?

>>16901406
No, in fact getting compliments here means your life is spinning out of control. Leave and don't come back for a year, at least

>>16901489
Yes also point to on the chart where they touched you

By the way

You were born a slave being, and will die a slave being.

That is all.

I like to call you idiots

a child-slave planet.

I don't want to kill myself desu senpai

>>16898305
>and communism
YIKES

>>16901572
Do a planetary achievement and kill someone who is important before you go.

Too much effort?

>>16900220
>I think I'm not smart enough either for getting a job in industry
you have to realize that a lot of people are dumber than you think

Dood imagine the fury and spite of the invisible empire goblin euro-semitic empire it's like simultaneous dicks being bitten off by strange weird men who are conditioned into a religion or somthin

It is never a bad idea to read the Gospel

Dood imagine the fury and spite of the invisible goblin euro-semitic empire it's like simultaneous dicks being bitten off by strange weird men who are conditioned into a religion or somthin

Dood I cant juggle all these logic gates myself here

RAPE A WOMEN NOW

>>16901579
no man I don't want to kill myself or anybody for that matter

finished my paper NIGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>16901260
du kan inte trip-fagga och säga vart du bor samtidigt, tänk om jag cuttar dig

The older you get, the more time there is for the wrong ideas to sink in. Your brain gets worse every year. Your body in general slowly shuts down. The older a person is, the more distrustful I am. Dumbness grows, while wisdom shrinks.

I am the dice man, and I take a chance huh, do you take a chance baby

>>16895383
>If it's the latter what is there to be afraid of unless you believe in a hell?
Nothing. Everything.

>>16901123
wait, Stockholm has red brick commie blocks? looks just like eastern europe, what the hell

>>16902302
Man those are just apartment buildings, they exist in every country on earth

Got twinks on my dick cuz i look like they dad
I give em the approval that they wish they always had

My momma wash my clothes uh
Sleep in till noon uh
Gov pays our rent uh
I’m an up and coming rapper uh
Bitches this uh
Bitches that uh
Ain’t got a job rob a nigga uh

>>16902302
Sweden has a lot of those. There was a gigantic state construction project in the 60s and 70s during which the government built thousands of those blocks. It was called the "million programme" if you want to look it up.

>>16902323
The us also had government develop mass residential stuff, except they built hundreds of thousands of homes, I’m sure they helped the previous generations afford housing

>>16902332
Now with open borders that will never be an option again

>>16902323
Well these arent million programme, they were built in the 60s i think, but yes, sosse-housing no doubt

>>16902065
Kom då jävla import-barn de vev

>>16902380
>de vev
lmao en senare version av "de e box"?

>>16902448
>en senare version
ofta du inte hört vev förut, du tror säkert att svartskallar sägar bazza och bror fortfarande lol

>>16902461
e du nån slags jävla normie eller

>>16902468
Före detta icke-normie normiefierad skulle jag säga. eller nåt åt de hållet

>3 "Age, Sex, Favorite book, some misc garbage etc." threads up on the catalog

>>16903200
Those threads are better than all the "I'm a loser, books for this feel" threads

>>16902088
literally the opposite

>>16903208
At least those threads are tangibly related to literature in a very superficial manner.

>>16903246
>favorite books
>not /lit/ related

>>16903254
Those threads just data mining lol.

r/greentext deleted my post. It wasn’t even offensive. Fucking kikes.

>>16903379
there are a lot of data miners on /lit/ for some reason. li have been autistically throwing off their numbers for years now, i even made an algorithm for determining how many fake posts i have to make and use different IPs.

I walked up to the man.
He introduced himself with a pop culture reference.

>>16888957
I've had a small emotional crisis today after reorganizing my shelves and realizing both how little I have read in total and how little space I have left for more books. I might have to give in to the e-book crowd, but I'm very resistant to it.

>>16903752
Use the library, or buy books and resell them/give them away once you're done.

No point accumulating thousands of books unless you're rich or a collector. They will just become dead weight. At the very least, only buy things you desperately want your own copy of and don't think you'll find in most libraries.

>>16903762
I'm the kind of reader who takes his time reading. I can't make time for reading everyday, so knowing that I have a deadline makes me a little anxious. I do plan to give some of my books away, but I am hesitant to get rid of some of them because they were gifts and I have an emotional attachment to the tomes themselves.

>>16888957
I bought a $150 hardcover copy of Crowley's Book of Thoth that I'm going to read alongside a pirated pdf of Meditations on the Tarot to make a glorified pseudo-philosophical shitpost about Undertale

It seems to me like many really fucking tough men grew up without a father figure, books on this / why is that, if it's not an illusion (genuinely interested, not just 'books for this feel'-posting).
Is it actually an advantage for some, to grow up fatherless?

>>16904233
>Is it actually an advantage for some, to grow up fatherless?
>watch a docu on prison group therapy
>guess how many murderers didn't have a father figure
pretty sure it isn't senpai

>>16888957
AAAAAAAAAAA IM TIRED OF BEATING OFF WHY AM I SO WEAK AAAAAAAAAAA

>>16904301
God wants you to stop. Let that be your reason. Start by phasing out porn.

>>16904301
>>16904372
well, to be exact: I am not sure it is forbidden by God. I believe he wants you to stop, but in truth I can not clearly point to scripture for this and have therefore commited a sin of lying about God.

>>16903824
Really wish I had enough money to spend $150 on a shitpost

>>16904268
Ok, let me rephrase:
Does growing fatherless increase the probability of turning out as a tough bastard, although that absolutely doesn't equal happiness?

also,
>watch a docu on prison group therapy
do you have one in mind that you could recc?

>>16903632
Schizo af

>>16889076
I like this, anon

>>16904414
>do you have one in mind that you could recc?
the one I watched was called "the Work". I thought it was really cool

>>16904301
What's motivating you to stop? What do you think you'll gain when you beat the habit (and not the monkey, amirite)?

>>16904414
Growing up without something considered essential for a person generally either breaks you or hardens you into someone great.

>>16904423
>the Work
That looks very good, and it even looks like I can get my hands on it.
>>16904432
well.. you're right. good take

been a crazy couple of months but looks to be quieting down decently inshallah. the question is what to do, really. either I get ahead on coursework for next semester (basic level econ, probably pretty easy), or I read all the esoteric religious philosophy I can possibly get my hands on in the next month. I can't help but feel like esoteric religious philosophy is the kind of thing a man carries with him in a way that basic econ is not.

>>16895315
>I am pretty afraid to die

read plato´s apology

I really want to read the novel I'm currently going through but I ought to work on my book if I don't want to end up losing the habit. What to do?

>>16904782
try writing

>anon comes into the bookstore where I work
>asks if I have any novels by this obscure italian author
>we don't have a real inventory so I look the guy up on wikipedia and then say no
>the wikipedia page is sparse and mainly refers to the author as a political dissident in the 60s
>something stirs in me
>I ask him why he's interested in this guy
>anon says "he's my dad, I look for his work wherever I go"

road burn on my sternum
barely starting to heal
still sticky and raw from falling intoxicated
need a ride home from a remote forest park but no one will come
lied about having read something
played an open source video game

HOMETOWN HEROES
HOME OF THE ATTAWAULACS and a weathered old lesbian bartender, it's otherwise empty
NO SMOKING in Yoshi's pub and the other place closes at 4
4 pints of whispering willows
we don't want water sherbet beer
melt candy with a lighter to get to the gum
sick on the road
maybe rent a parking spot
$400 for the winter

a decrepit apartment block with windows painted over like walls
micheal jordan butt holes painted in the shower
there's a large textile factory nearby but no one works there except a woman selling rags or clothes
steal a sample of yarn
back at the apartment
partiers everywhere through the rooms and halls like roaches despite an announcement about covid over the loudspeaker
a ghost, windswept like a dandelion seed, regaining control only momentarily to spy in the windows of an aquarist
alerted by a security light the aquarist spies back
threaten to shit in his fish tanks before another gust comes
a left handed stratocaster and a mustang bass in a red colour never seen
the d strings are missing

small glowing oblong orbs
futuristic mafia condo development
bio dome towers
new brunswick
he boils soap and it is glowing and bubbling black and red like molten lava
convenience store bread

camp full of pious christians
incubus seduces a woman

witnessing a confusing scene
someone in protective clothing
surgeon scrubs, or maybe hazmat equipment, standing over a person lying with only a sheet
distressed in the interrogation room
a confessional clipboard with no words, only indecipherable scribbles
never talk without a lawyer

drive to the arctic tree line where the trees are humanoid
there are many characters but only marge simpson is recognizable

wet labyrinth
looking for a place to skate

pretending to vomit
just cramp it out your butt

I constantly try to make changes for the better and keep at them but i feel like im never moving 'forward'. Ive recently enrolled in uni but even still i feel like i am stuck at the same place i was 3 years ago. Things have changed but never fundamentally.

Maybe thats a good thing, im contend where i am but i don't think im happy. Maybe i am. I just have no reference point to say 'yes, this is happiness'.
Thats probably not true.

>>16905087

>>16904848
who was that italian dude?

Don't ask me how I know but Tarski's undefinability theorem proves that AI is a hoax and you won't ever have any natural language text generator programs that are anything besides high tech madlibs.

There's a song stuck in my head that's been on loop for almost three days. Help me.

Can i eventually get a book deal if i grow a poetry instagram account where i post my writings and gain followers?

Where the fuck is the writing general?

>>16905267
Those text generators draw from human made resources and are weighted to favour their believability, as "AI" will draw from the variables it can interpret, the only advances are made in self evaluation. Pretty straightforward stuff

>problem
>"i have a problem with this problem"
>woman: AHHHHH AHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH YOU HAVING A PROBLEM WITH THE PROBLEM AHHHHHHHHHHHH
>"what? calm down bitch i'm trying to deal with my problem, i didn't ask you to get involved"
>woman: DID YOU JUST CALL ME BITCH I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT REMEMBER THAT THING THAT HAPPENED IN 1976?
>"what the fuck is happening? shut up bitch i'm trying to deal with this, jesus now you're making the situation worse, look i'll even go over here and leave you alone"
>woman: EXCUSE ME HOW CAN YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT AHHHHH 4 HOURS OF BABBLING ABOUT HOW I FEEL ABOUT FEELING ABOUT FEELING ABOUT FEELING A FEELING YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO ALL OF THIS RIGHT NOW I HAD A BAD DAY TODAY I SAW A BEE AND IT STARTLED ME AND FURTHERMORE.............

>>16905313
listen to this instead
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPoknfct6JM

I tooke 250mg of Tramadol and now I'm reading Saint Augustine. I feel pretty /lit/ right now.

It's my first time posting here in almost year. I guess I got my shit togheter during this time. I've got serious into buddhism, meditation and spirituality and it has been a nice ride. Also been running 15km a week. Uni has been awful but at least I got a GF, we've been dating for a moth. It was a chaotic and stressfull month, but filled with moments of pure happines and comfort. She's full of trauma and it's kinda insecure, so not a easy person do deal with. I'm seeing as a patience test. She's mad at me right now because I didn't pick up one of her phone calls (my cellphone was in silent mode and I was watching a movie). Anyway, I do love her, I just wished we didn't argued about some random bullshit every two days.

>>16905816
you are gonna break up bro. Might as well do it now.

>>16888957
i think i am the christ, the real one this time

>>16905856
probably. i almost break up with her two times during this month, but she cried and promissed she would change. sometimes she goes in full self sabotage mode and i don't know to do.

>>16905725
what's your problem anon

>>16905910
Although im a kv bitter incel so what do i know

I always get either so horny that I bust very fast, or I'm just mildly horny and the wood's more of a sausage that's not too usable in lovemaking..
frustrating for any girl... can this be improved by some training? Anyone has similar experience?
On a scarier note, can that mean I'm not sleeping with my true main preference?
Probably not the best place to ask, but the comfiest place I know and hey, at least I don't waste a whole thread for it.. I always ask here first when something troubles me.

>>16906202
Unironically start masturbating. Try go get as close as you can whitout busting. Never cum. Just masturbate and try to keep your dick erect. Oh, and stop thinking about that gay shit.

>>16889076
My grandmother waterboarded me under cold showers as a kid haha

>>16904390
I don't have it, I'm just insane

>>16905313
There's only one solution to this

Don't know why I'm fascinated by "erscheinungsform", "form of appearance".. The use of the English word "form" makes me think of the Platonic "form", but the intention of the Platonic form idea is the conception of a real concrete entity that exists without appearance. So then, wouldn't a "form of appearance" be a concrete extant entity which embodies the Form of appearance itself?

Maybe I'm reading too far into it. Then again, if there anything that embodies such a thing as a "form of appearance" in the way I've interpreted it – it's language itself, which through writing gives body to ideas.

The other english translation for this word: "manifestation".

I'm wondering how other animals would fare with having the intelligence of people. Take a dog -- they would probably have a lot of trouble crafting tools, because even if they could conceptualize the tools, their paws are too clumsy to make any precise adjustments. Though it seems like with the brains of a person they would figure out a way to adapt and make complicated tools anyway? Maybe not, since for humans it seems like the toolmaking and the intelligence had a symbiotic relationship. Intelligence wasn't as important to select for if the actual bodies couldn't make use of the environment. Something like a squirrel would work better than a dog, but the weirder choices are more fun.
Most birds probably wouldn't have the transportation problems we do. They might come up with ways to augment their own flying, but travel wouldn't be as big an issue for them. Ants obviously have a size problem. Even very smart ants would have a major issue early on in their evolutionary run when a single anteater shows up. They'd need some way to be out of its reach or some pretty serious defense.
A lot of animals seem like they would be dead in the water and unable to work with basic societal stuff like currency or toolmaking, but I wonder if the intelligence of a person is enough to overcome a seemingly worthless body?

My father died of covid this morning. I miss him so much.

>>16890072
Same! Recently watched a scene with a calvary charge into a barrage of muskets. Could feel the rush and joy of battle and the following shattered blow of horses and bodies hitting the ground.

>>16907704
F

I did something bad and tried to seal myself off from the negative emotions by telling myself it was somehow cool to be bad but now the regret and the guilt and the shame is sinking in and I brought it entirely upon myself

>>16907704
I'm sorry anon

>>16908092
What did you do?

>>16907704
I will pray for the repose of his soul, Anon. God bless you and comfort you.

>>16908092
Off to Siberia you go

I really want to write a tarzan esque fanfiction between two characters from a vidya. One is an unintelligible thousand year old shota and the other is a ditzy muscle girl.
How much of a sick bastard am I?

>>16888957
I can feel it forming a tight clump within my anus. It wants to come out, see freedom, but for some reason its master, me, is sitting and writing about it for whatever reason. There is a pressure building behind it that I cannot ignore and if I don't head to the bathroom soon I may cause myself some short term issues. This pressure is good though. It takes my mind off of the mundane day to day pressure that envelopes the Monday to Friday week, if only for a little while. When I release it though I shall feel a sense of pleasure I would not have felt had I not held it in for as long as I have. Anyway, brb.

>>16908354
It only makes sense if one is futa

Has anyone else noticed that women who are really in love, and really in a good relationship, get prettier?

They always say you can tell when a woman is miserable. But the reverse is definitely true. When a woman is truly happy, when she's genuinely in the best of spirits, especially in a good relationship or marriage, you can tell it, too. It's like a flower spreading out its petals to maximum. It's neat to see such a woman, when you can. One who's more beautiful than ever because she's really happy.

>>16888957
Feels as if I'm waiting for the next adventure.
Till then I'm killing time. When will fate awaken?

>>16908387
>tfw I haven't seen nor heard anyone have such a relationship

I want to take another xan to completely black out like thats sleeping on easy mode but I've taken 2 full bars in the last 2 days so I dont wanto start reaching real bartard levels of tolerance.

Also GOD DAMN xanax makes me primal like all I wanna do is eat drink and cum thats a downside for me desu.
I hate that I need to take drugs to sleep but my room makes me anxious maybe because its a mess rn but idk

MOUSE PLAYS THE GUITAR ON A LOUD AMP if ya kno whatimmsaying.

Meowwww Meooowww


(The chances of someone fully understanding this post is plancks length away from nonexistent)

I took half a xan thirteen hours till I land had me out like a light yuh _Drake

Thirteen hours til I land NEED ME MORE THAN HALF A XAN ~$crim from the $B

maybe I should get to zolpidem but I will absolutely abuse lol, its so much funner than xans to use recreationaly

>>16890690
Do it bro Im on the same track but believe me you just might find more people like you, and thats 2 hermits :)

I opened youtube to look for something and once again found myself listening to ambient music. Forest, snow falling, a solitary cabin out there...
In my world there is just so much noise and interruption. Even when traffic goes silent late in the evening, neighbors still make noise. Last night someone upstairs was banging doors and trampling on the floor. Sometimes kids like to run around, I can hear their mother shouting through the water and metal of radiators. Neighbor on the same floor slams his doors each time when going out, his dog turns out to be most polite.
My father sits in his armchair all day, watching television. His hearing has gone bad with age, but he would rather turn up the volume than get a hearing aid. I put on my headphones to listen to music and my mother comes around cause she is bored. I cannot cure her boredom, I only know how to take care of mine.
I wish I could light a fire in a fireplace. Listen to wind howling outside in the mountain. I wish I could scream in the wind. And cry. Cry everything out and come out empty, ready to take in new things.

I think reading too much analytic philosophy is frying my mind. Although, I did notice recently that my thoughts are now more structured and rigorous, but it's very unpleasant.

>>16901149
>>16901194
I enjoyed reading this anon. Deserves at least one (You)

caught up on coursework. all I gotta do today is clean the appartment. I don't even have to do that, I can do it tomorrow. or the day after.

I think Jenna Fischer is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. There's something so terribly simple and genuine about her beauty, I can't exactly say what, but it's there.

>>16897397
>some 20-30 year old weeaboo
not even close.
the average /lit/ poster age is 23 years old and 61% of them are 22 and younger. this board is filled with literal children.

>>16909169
get better taste anon

I feel a compulsion to search for some video game I'd enjoy. It's not because I like video games - in a way I think I've outgrown them - but I have a ton of video games I bought expecting to enjoy, and it would be sad not to like at least one.

>>16909349
play gta chinatown wars and playdead's inside

>>16909364
>gta chinatown wars
Is that on PC? Most GTAs are the same more or less.
Games I've been thinking about are Syberia, La Mulana, Deus Ex, maybe KotR.
I guess it's too bad because games aren't supposed to be something you try to get into, it's just pure entertainment. Part of the world we live in now is defined by taking our hobbies seriously as means of fulfillment because the old ways are dead, I think.

>>16909340
You need to spend less time on the internet.

>>16905773
I did not enjoy this song at all.

Being in uni feels so meaningless, I can barely muster an ounce of motivation to do the bare minimum. And it has nothing to do with social distancing it was always awful. I just want to explore things at my leisure and my own pace, with no other demands hanging over my head. If I won the lottery I'd go back to being a NEET, knowing it would break my mother's heart.

>>16909738
man I love the riff. smells like hot dusty summer

>>16909475
it's a portable gta, mixes in more original ideas than cannon gtas, it's mostly on nintendo DS and an iOS or Andriod device you might own

>mfw when barnes & noble prices with cybermonday 15% off is still more expensive than amazon's regular prices

How the fuck is Barnes & Noble even in business.

what apps do you guys use for writing on your phone, notes and otherwise

>>16910735
being the only physical bookstore for most people helps
fuck buying their stuff online though

>>16910735
>mfw when manning.com has 50% off everything, but when you add in shipping costs it's only $2 cheaper than the amazon price

Bezos can't keep getting away with delivering this kind of value to customers! He's like an evil genius of logistics that cannot be beat! The only thing is maybe congress could try to crackdown with anti-trust law, but he donates so much money to Democrats and BLM that they can't do shit. Haha. On top of that the even the CIA their data on his web services. How can one man be such a beast?! You're looking at a true master.

I've been reading Houellebecq in the original French to practice because I've been told that he's an easy author to read, and after the second book I'm starting to feel emotionally drained by this much bleakness. Could you recommend me some other French authors that are okay for people with an intermediate level of French and who are a little bit more cheerful?

>>16911014
Arsène Lupin maybe? The author is Maurice Leblanc.

love one another anons. seek to overcome your differences and come together, whoever it may be with.

>>16888957
In order to be powerful in this life you must be somewhat of a sociopath. I've been reading about the lives of famous historical figures like Alaric, the guy who eventually sacked Rome in 410. His life was one of constant betraying and pitting the Eastern and Western empires against each other, and yet he kept getting rewarded posts and tribute. Life for the powerful is a series of betrayals to which side is most convenient at the time, and if you're clever you can get away with it.

You must be a bit of a sociopath to be a leader. When you're in charge of a nation or a business you must be a bit callous. You'll never be able to satisfy the demands of everyone, you must by necessity be a utilitarian. This is even if you want to be a good ruler and even perhaps especially if you do. Suppose you're in charge of your tribe, kicked out of your homeland and starving. What would you be willing to do to ensure that your family, your relatives, and your nation survive? Most people aren't willing to take themselves to such extremes, to have such a burden, and that's why they don't seek out positions of power (and in fact most people aren't capable of it). I'm hardly a powerful person, but I have ambition to be. I am an ardent student of history, and as I read more and more I realize that you must be strong before you can be good.

>>16911063
agreed, also think positive no matter what

I keep feeling a sense of dread loom over me as I work. As if I’m always missing something or not doing enough, I feel as though I’m under constant surveillance and my mistakes are being piled up to bury me. It’s a calm rainy afternoon just how I like it too. The house is empty and warm as a sleeping bag but I feel like I could cry in an instant. And for whatever reason when I get like this people seem more abrasive to me, as if their being is inherently opposed to mine, like bugs and snow. I don’t get misanthropic like when I was younger though, so much as weary from looking at the vast gulf between our manners of being in the world. I imagine it’s a type of vertigo. Either way it makes me reclusive and more depressed. And at this point I’m wishing I could be contently insignificant working some meager job for comfortable pay with a loving spouse and otherwise subsist as a ghost.

Holy crap /lit/, i actually managed to complete my 3 1000 word essay in one day and sent it on time. I lost so much sleep but I actually managed to do it.
>tfw now that's left is a long paper of 3000 word essay left

I'm beginning to think 4chan is a bad place for intellectual discussion

>>16912406
congrats
>>16912414
rule of thumb: don't enter threads that will obviously be garbage

>>16912414
This place is a shithole

The Great Courses course "Thinking About Capitalism" is on sale on Audible for $6 for CyberMonday. It's one of their better courses, and I recommend you cop it if you hadn't already listened to a torrented version. I mean just peep the lecture titles; you know you want that shit.

https://www.thegreatcourses.com/courses/thinking-about-capitalism.html

Hans Christian Andersen is great.

When the trolls carry the evil mirror, which grins devilishly, when a good thought is reflected in it, into heaven to tease God with it, and the grin in the mirror gets bigger and bigger and bigger until the mirror breaks -- I felt that.

>>16912414
think of it this way: if they really enjoyed reading, would they be shitposting all day?

The gall of the algorithm. I specifically instructed it to not recommend western vtuber videos and still it suggests them

>>16912650
You can lie to yourself but the algorithm knows your deepest desires anon.

>>16909349
I hit that point where I stopped enjoying video games and in hindsight I lingered with them for another 3+ years out of habit. Now when I go back and try to play my favourites I'm shocked and I guess saddened by how little of the old feeling remains. The fondness remains, it's still nostalgic, but the raw feeling, of seeing a game like Knights of the Old Republic as a guaranteed two weeks of trance-like, totally involved and immersed happiness, isn't there.

I used to get so excited to find a new game like that, or know I had a few guaranteed great ones lined up in my backlog, for example when a friend would tell me about some great RPG I had somehow missed despite it being right up my alley. But now, nothing.

I spent a couple years on /v/ railing for the old classic RPG developers to abandon the big publisher model and target a smaller but guaranteed audience of grognards, around 2008. In hindsight I was autistically writing manifestos about how badly I wanted another Planescape, and how the only thing lacking was the stupid money. Then what do you know, crowdfunding becomes a huge thing a few years later, and those old RPG devs get back together and start making spiritual sequels to games like Planescape and Baldur's Gate. I tried playing them, I was genuinely impressed by how well they captured the old spirit, and yet I never got past 10% of the way into them. If you told my younger self that, he would not believe you.

Periodically I'll check in on the vidya world and see how it's developed and the answer always seems to be "not much." VR is a dead end, it's gimmicky shit for richfags that will crowd out real visionary developers. Aside from that they remake the same games from 2007 over and over.

I tried re-playing Morrowind and a few others but I was clearly only doing it out of obligation and nostalgia. I have friends my age who are still in the same pit I was in years ago, treating video games like their bread and butter entertainment in a way that dilutes their impact and makes you reliant on them, since you're always hopping from one to another. It seems like a shit way to live.

Books are the opposite, especially if you have true intellectual quests and the books are just a means of working on them. Rather than diluting and becoming a bland fix, reading gets better and better over time and builds on itself, and rather than making you a zombie who just wants to do the bare minimum work to be able to kill some more time in vidya coma, it makes you a more well-rounded person and spills over into other areas of your life.

>>16911478
I've read a biography of Isaac Newton not long ago, kind of applies to him. He was kind of an autistic asshole and died a very rich and powerful man.

>>16909475
Deus Ex and KoTOR are worth playing at least. Can't vouch for the others. Again some part of me wants to recommend Deus Ex as One Of The Greats, but I would have to force myself to play it now. Compare that to a few years back when Deus Ex: HR came out, and even though I felt it was a mediocre successor to Deus Ex, it was polished enough and had enough "stuff" in it that I was grateful for it.

Nowadays I can't even play the true greats, but back then I was happy and grateful for dim imitations of them, just because it kept that dopamine loop going.

>>16912414
i've been here since late 2006

>>16912783
Me too actually lmao I hate myself

It's going to be a pretty comfy week.

>>16912632
This looks surprisingly unusually good and then I checked the teacher and it's Muller, his book on Freyer was amazing. Seconding this recommendation, this guy is top tier.

>>16912865
>tfw it's 43C here

>>16909724
If you want to see a girl who looks like Jenna Fischer just go to any college bar and you'll see 20. I'm not saying she's not attractive but I have a higher standard for what I describe as 'beautiful'.

I'm on my third year of studying humanities and I am filled with so many doubts about what I want to do with my life. My essays and school papers suck so much, even though I've been passing so far. I'm not sure the academic life is for me, but I can't envision anything else.

>>16912981
Absolutely horrifying.
Where is that?

>>16913100
Chop water

been enjoying games much more than books recently

>>16888957
Hey you fucking moron, you stupid fucking cretin, you know that's not how the dialectics works right? I didn't read EVERY GOD DAMN HEGEL BOOK IN EXISTENCE TWICE for your Psuedo-Hegelian Fallout: New Vegas Art Hoe "OH IM SUCH A DIALECTICAL THINKER THESIS ANTITHESIS SYNTHESIS" bullshit right now. Stop trying to pass off Fichte as a dialectical thinker and equivalent of Hegel; Fichte was a little bitch and Schelling sucked Hegel's cock ACTIVELY at Tübingen. if you ACTUALLY READ MORE THAN STALIN you'd fucking know that the immanent critique of Hegel only makes the dialectics ONE PART of the construction of intuitive reasoning and consciousness. Holy fucking shit you're such a fucking pseud, you're actually fucking deranged. You thing Hegel keeps the Reflective Understanding and Scholastic mentality of "HURRRR BEING IS THE OPPOSITE OF NON-BEING" in tact you fucking softbrain? I bet you think porn is dialectically making you "volcel" and perform better in the class room you fucking pseud cumbrain. Fuck you. You fucking larper, fuck you and stop thinking that Hegel posits sensuous-certainty as a complete reality, and STOP THINKING BEING-IN-AND-FOR-ITSELF IS A FUCKING NOUMENAL NEEDED TO MAKE REASON "UNITED" MY GOD THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS. Thats not how fucking dialectics works you stupid cuck. I didn't study Hegel (plus continental philosophy in general) at Harvard for 7 FUCKING YEARS for some LOW LIFE KNOW IT ALL who's CLEARLY never fucking read Hegel as he would KNOW that HEGEL has NEVER FUCKING EVER used the terms "thesis, anithesis, synthesis" to start perpetuating these LIES at EVERY SINGLE FUCKING OPPORTUNITY. this isn't Hegel my friend. No no no. Thesis, antithesis, synthesis what thought up by Fichte and it's clearly inferior to Hegels dialectical method of imminent critique. Yes. It's called imminent critique. And dialectics is only ONE PART of Hegels full method. Which again is called Imminent critique which you would know if you had ACTUALLY BOTHERED TO READ HEGEL ITS LITERALLY IN THE SCIENCE OF LOGIC YOU DUMB FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT. I honestly cannot believe the fucking arrogance to come onto this post, spouting that anti Hegel garbage. Where did you get your fucking info on dialectics? Fucking Jason Unruhe? Jesus fucking Christ I cannot deal with this bullshit right now I'm sorry I'm leaving I'm fucking leaving, you pathetic brainlet

>>16913654
Hey uwu fucking mowon, uwu stupid fucking cwetin, uwu know thawt's nowt how the diawectics wowks wight? i didn't wead evewy god damn hegew book in existence twice fow youw psuedo-hegewian fawwout: new vegas awt hoe "oh im such a diawecticaw thinkew thesis antithesis synthesis" buwwshit wight now. Stowp twying tuwu pass off fichte as a diawecticaw thinkew awnd equivawent of hegew; fichte was a wittwe bitch awnd schewwing sucked hegew's cock activewy at tübingen. if uwu actuawwy wead mowe than stawin uwu'd fucking know thawt the immanent cwitique of hegew onwy makes the diawectics owne pawt of the constwuction of intuitive weasoning awnd consciousness. Howy fucking shit uwu'we such a fucking pseud, uwu'we actuawwy fucking dewanged. Uwu thing hegew keeps the wefwective undewstanding awnd schowastic mentawity of "huwwww being iws the opposite of non-being" in tact uwu fucking softbwain? i bet uwu think pown iws diawecticawwy making uwu "vowcew" awnd pewfowm bettew in the cwass woom uwu fucking pseud cumbwain. Fuck uwu. Uwu fucking wawpew, fuck uwu awnd stowp thinking thawt hegew posits sensuous-cewtainty as a compwete weawity, awnd stowp thinking being-in-and-fow-itsewf iws a fucking noumenaw needed tuwu make weason "united" my god thiws iws outwageous. Thats nowt how fucking diawectics wowks uwu stupid cuck. I didn't study hegew (pwus continentaw phiwosophy in genewaw) at hawvawd fow 7 fucking yeaws fow sowme wow wife know iwt aww who's cweawwy nevew fucking wead hegew as he wouwd know thawt hegew has nevew fucking evew used the tewms "thesis, anithesis, synthesis" tuwu stawt pewpetuating these wies at evewy singwe fucking oppowtunity. thiws isn't hegew my fwiend. No no no. Thesis, antithesis, synthesis whawt thought up by fichte awnd iwt's cweawwy infewiow tuwu hegews diawecticaw method of imminent cwitique. Yes. Iwt's cawwed imminent cwitique. Awnd diawectics iws onwy owne pawt of hegews fuww method. Which again iws cawwed imminent cwitique which uwu wouwd know if uwu had actuawwy bothewed tuwu wead hegew its witewawwy in the science of wogic uwu dumb fucking piece of shit. I honestwy cannot bewieve the fucking awwogance tuwu come onto thiws post, spouting thawt anti hegew gawbage. Whewe did uwu get youw fucking info own diawectics? fucking jason unwuhe? jesus fucking chwist i cannot deaw with thiws buwwshit wight now i'm sowwy i'm weaving i'm fucking weaving, uwu pathetic bwainwet

>>16908406
life ruined, knew a guy like you who committed suicide recently

turn back while you can

Currently talking to one Russian girl, one Polish, two Germans, one French and one Swedish. They all think they are special, and that I have plans to go visit them once the pandemic is under control.
Some are in love with me, some are my online girlfriends, some are legitimately mentally ill. I don't know what to do, even if I gave up on using them to jack off, I don't know how to stop talking to them in a way they won't be heartbroken.
What the fuck, I'm fucking disgusting. Also I waste too much time with this shit AAAAAA

>>16913863
are you neet or something?

>>16913863
Invite all of them to participate in a Magic Mountain readalong

>>16913998
I work full time and attend the university

>>16912414
>I'm beginning to think

I suggest you stop, nothing good will come of it

>>16913111
Sydney this last weekend, its cooled down again though

>>16907354
That is fascinating

>>16907704
I is sorry. Tears in my eyes for you

>>16914027
this.

>>16888957
Upon entering avenues of scientific reasoning one might quickly conclude that we as a consciousness are able to observe: feel, see, smell, hear, object to things and sublimate desires, and more importantly to ruminate on all our past observations and think ahead of further ones; we, as an offspring of previously not so conscious animalistic pulp, have evolved clearly beyond our ancestors.
But what is so cruel about this? In a way there is nothing more to it than this (which I will do justice in explaining how rather than leave the questions hanging).

All what we see, feel, smell, is sent to be observed by our conscious mind and there everything is processed. I would take solace in the complacency of being satisfied with such an answer - alas, the rabbit hole goes deeper. Once we have established that, our consciousness, our persona, does in fact process all these things and even reacts accordingly, and just as we are speeding up the discourse around it we run headlong into a wall: if said consciousness is truly the centre of our being, beliefs and actions then what is it? Is it shaped by ourselves or by course of nature, or both? Or by the divine and therefore unable to be contained within the scope of intellectual limits that humans hold?

What makes your consciousness different from mine, aside from the fact that you are born with a physically different brain than mine and are, experiencing the world through your eyes and I through mine, and that if, by some unheard change, a part of our minds were to be switched (I’ll reiterate, only a part, not our entire minds) so that everything but the “observer” would be switched - how would it be any different? Imagine the observer itself to be free from any past experience, or conclusions made by the rest of the spirit, its namesake declares that it is only there to observe and therefore from the dawning of your consciousness to the very last breath (barring the unfortunate cases of brain damage by illness or trauma) exactly the same. And we can know that it’s real because you and I are awake and observing this very moment, everything that sprung from our lips to this second has went through our ears, to the observer, and then to another part which works with it.

What would change, if these two observers were switched? They would work with the things they have: I now with your memories, feelings, convictions and past life and you with mine. Would it not be the case that if two pieces of identical hardware were switched between different computers, things would run exactly the same?

>>16914565
And that’s the irony I discovered mooring through life: we can pluck ourselves apart, there will be no catharsis to certain questions. No matter how deep you dig, life will not divulge some meanings to you without external aid (and that in itself is optimistic; once you do conclude to have it right, do you really? Is there a way to check something as profound as this through any other means that logic and logic alone, which in itself has been proven to be unable to describe physical things in the universe, much less the intangible).

Thank you for reading my autism.
Any books for this?