/lit/ - Literature

>>16785920
no, because my friends are always writing for me

>>16785974
lmao, I doubt even a single poem has been written in your name.

the reason i am gonna want to spend at least some years teaching in academia with some level of esteem is to get some easy beautiful undergrad boys to fall in love with me.

>>16785920
Is this an actual quote?
If so, his faggotry explains a great deal of why he was how he was and wrote what he wrote

>>16785920
I wrote a sonnet to my crush. She thought it was good.

>>16785920
my writing scares people off

>>16785920
yes, just once

>>16785920
It’s really not a very interesting story. What you need to understand is that 9 times out of 10, female professors who are really into deconstructing literature and School of Resentment style theory are BEGGING to get fucked by Big Canonical Cock. I am being serious. I am not being ironic. For my survey course of English lit from Beowulf to 1800, my professor fit this trope exactly; she was about 28, fairly cute (not an art hoe, but with shorter brown hair), and very into “fighting back” against traditional views of medieval literature. Queering Langland, "there were black people in the Middle Ages," all of that. On the first day, we discussed the concept of a literary canon, which she argued inherently favored those works produced by people in power. Needless to say, I disagreed. Because I happened to have a class in the next room right before her course, I was always the first to arrive, usually about 5 minutes before anyone else. We would have brief conversations, first about whatever material we were going to cover that day and then about random topics- other books and poems, little details of our lives, etc.

Slowly I began to realize she was dropping small hints of her sexual availability. Nothing too risqué. She would say things like "Old English poetry (she never said Anglo-Saxon because that was a 'white supremacist dogwhistle') is so elegiac, it always makes me lonely" or "anon, you might like this article on the York mystery plays, I found it very stimulating," etc. What's more, these hints always came after I said something to defend the canon or canonical authors and traditional interpretations. For example, one day I happened to namedrop Harold Bloom during a conversation about Shakespeare's use of the carnivalesque. She made a face, and I said "Love him or hate him, you have to admit Bloom presents a useful analysis of poetic influence across the history of English literature (or words to that effect)." She bit her lip, and for a second I wasn't sure if she was going to criticize our guy or what, but instead she mentioned that the Taming of the Shrew was playing at a local theater, subtly indicating she wished to go with me. We did end up going, and it was particularly fun to watch her watch Petruchio tame Katherine. She clearly loved it; I didn't bring it up, of course, but only a few days before she had said the play was irredeemably misogynistic. Needless to say, we had an enjoyable night.

Yes, most of my romantic involvements are because of my writing and dedication to literature and philosophy. Also I’m 6’4 with a deep voice and handsome face

>>16786277
Of all the things that didn't happen, that didn't happen the most.

>>16785920
No. In fact, literature has only contributed to me being an outcast.

>>16785920
Yes but it doesn't seem to be going too well

>>16785920
No. In fact, I've never met a woman who reads.

The Following given, being a CONVERSATION of some Note to those who WISH to KNOW:

Interlocutor the FIRST: Why, dearest SIR, do you think there ever was a Work of such Artistry and Grace such as to elucidate the Subtleties and Sublimities of LOVE?

the SECOND: If there be such a Work, SIR, I know nothing of it; so far short have fallen the Skills of Great Men heretofore born, that I indeed doubt it to be possible. Perhaps the Art of Literature, in all its Splendor, supplied with the Wisdom and Skill of all Ages, still will not suffice. But to speak for my own Part, and of my own Experience, I believe I have found the best Method for the Elucidation of Love yet devised.

the FIRST: What method be this, SIR?

the SECOND: Well is it not obvious SIR? we FUCK like RETARDS.

>>16786065
are you male or female?

>>16786277
kek.

>>16785920
That's cute he wasn't a total degenerate after all. I was reading a famous woman psychoanalyst's memoirs and she said that she was ugly so she decided to be the smart one and gain love by intellectual superiority.

I got titty pics after ranting about nick land for 15 minutes. peak autism chad.

>>16786491
explain thep icture

>>16786547
I'm female and I echo that sentiment

>>16787682
substantially more based and interesting than Nick Land

>>16786098
No it doesnt, you clown

No

>>16787673
He was a sodomite, he was a degenerate by default.

>>16786065
>>16787739
Faggots.

>>16786547
They're pudgy faggots and one may be a tranny.

>>16785920

Do aged homosexuals not understand how evil they seem when they use the word "boy" like that. How on earth do they not understand that it makes civilized society cringe to hear an adult man say the word "boy" with a lustful tone?

>>16786065
The Romans may have added women, but they considered eating pussy to be GAYER than fucking a dude in the butt.

To the Romans, the dude giving pipe to another man was MORE STRAIGHT than the man lovingly eating out his wife's pussy.

>>16790096
And they were right, eating pussy is gay as fuck, pussy is made to stick your dick into, not for licking, that's disgusting.

>>16789942
What noun would you use when describing your past loves? If you fell in love with a girl in high school, what word would you use when you reminisce about her 40 years later?

>>16790162
I'd probably use her name, but also seems insanely gross to me. An adult reminiscing romantically on a child is disgusting.

>>16785920
Reminder that this nigger signed a petition to abolish age of consent

>>16790192
Based, where do I start with Foucault?

>>16790192
wtf I love foucault now

>>16785920
>attract beautiful boys
>give them aids
>laugh
is there a more evil type of man?

>>16790167
Context doesn't matter when you in forced discontent mode cause homos. I get it.

>>16790245

If the boy is attracted to old men, they deserve their aids

>>16785920
Yes

>>16790245
Hitler

No, everyone who falls in love with me held attractions to basic features: low-pitched voice, good hair, clear skin (the face in general, as a matter of fact), skinny build, etc. Later, they'll compliment me on intelligence, yet at the same time couple it with the "mysterious" trope. I am too detached to reveal the weight of my interests, so all relationships only exist on the surface-level. You can take an autist out of isolation but can't take the isolation out of the autist, I guess

>>16785920
Imagine not being french

>>16785920
I keep my love of books hidden or the girl becomes easily confused and hostile like a cougar facing a hiker who has opened his jacket to appear more formidable and unsafe to engage.

>>16790553

Holy fucking based, OP you gave my life a new meaning

>>16790192
Based. He did nothing wrong.

>>16790553
I second this
I dont want people to know that Im a nerd so I keep my reading and books private
It definitely blows people away to enter my room for the first time and find it filled with books tho

>>16790096
What if you want the girl to feel pleasure or make her wet before you fuck her?

>>16785920
to a degree, when I met my ex I sent her a story I was writing and it gave us a lot to talk about and led to us dating. On the other hand she ruined my life so idk.

>>16786065
if you´re a woman.... then congrats

>>16792556
Then you were gay as fuck in the Roman eyes.

>There is no first. We get it and that's it

>>16793397
Did you see princess Leia in that movie? She was FAT

>>16793491
Does your mother know you’re playing with a sex offender?

>>16790521
im gonna remember that last bit

Yes but she was a retard liberal drone so I ignored her.

>>16785920
French are subhumans

French niggas be like mmm can’t wait to go home and bareback fuck my hairy smelly 17 year old wife

>>16785920
Hot

I used to shitpost on my university's crush subreddit. At first I would have to DM girls, but that was actually pretty fulfilling because I didn't give a fuck and it nearly scored me some dates. I never actually capitalized on them and went on any dates because lol university subreddit, but I easily could have.

While this was going on in the shadows, I also made other shitposts to the main feed, for example about a u/faggot. I got a couple of women DMing me saying that my attempts at helping my friend out were cute and so on.

University women want three things:
1. To not be lonely
2. To have a guy who'll dominate them in bed and fuck the every living shit out of them
3. To have a guy with a Chad personality who won't just pump and dump

All you need to do is be 2, imply 1 and 3, and you'll be drowning in pusi.

>>16785920
Has anyone noticed that vaginas are filthier than anus? I'm just saying...blood, puss, crust, pieces if decomposing ovary for a week every month.

>>16796489
>t. Virgin

>>16795662
Yo, that’s just Europeans in general.

I’ll never understand why Euros haven’t yet figured out you need to shower daily

No. Don’t tell women that you read.

>>16796849
waste of water. every other day is fine. be conscious of the environment.

>>16796977
You fucking STINK

>>16796960
What possible harm could it cause to let a woman know you are literate?

>>16797107
literacy is a sign of autism
fucking virgin

>>16785920
I've gotten really close friends. I also dated a few girls, but no relationships felt right

>>16786098
Most probably yes and yes it does make sense why a perverted loser masturbator would think in a way he thinks, despite what any young commie faggot intellectual free-thinker says.

>>16785920
Writing and literature have both provided me with immense fulfillment and alienated me more from my peers than I could ever hope to do on my own.

>>16797139
You say this as a literate man yourself. You are also autistic?

>>16786277
>Big Canonical Cock

>>16786419
Do you live in Sudan or something

>>16797139
>literacy is a sign of autism

>>16797739
He means they don’t read for pleasure

>>16785920
Only once. She confessed her love for me while we were drunk over the phone. Then I proceeded to get into a shitposting competition with her bf and after showing her colors, we never spoke again.

It hurts bro, she was beautiful.

>>16786277
Top shelf stuff my lad

>>16798142

Why would you want an unfaithful whore?

>>16786277
KING KING KING

>>16790167
A woman wrote this.

>>16785920
I started talking to my gf because she saw me writing a short story on class and wanted to read it

>>16790167
Oh you're one of those sex-negative puritanical weirdos. Opinion discarded.

>>16786277
Inordinately based if true

>>16785920
Yes

>>16790167
Imagine grandstanding on an anonymous social media

>>16798456
Because that's the most fun

>>16798651
Being against pedophilia is grandstanding?

>>16790096
This isn't true. Cunnillingus was invented in the 1960s

>>16798778
>Cunnillingus was invented in the 1960s

This is literally the funniest thing I've read in a long time. I'm being completely honest, this made me laugh aloud for a bit. This sentence is just so absurd, I love it.

>>16785920
>wrote my crush a poem and hid it in her bag on Valentine’s Day
>watch her form the corner of the room as she reads it
>watch her as she crumples it and throws it away

>>16798961
just ask her on date, don´t be an anime pussy

>>16798982
If I had the courage to do that, I would’ve done it in the first place

>>16799025
do it anime pussy, even she rejects you, just move on and find a girl that loves you

>>16785920
My ex started up a conversation with me because i was reading a book on my lunch break.
We broke up after a year because i am, as she put it "incapable of loving anyone other than myself". Tragic

>>16786277
I like this pasta a lot. Very based.

>>16785920
I don't discuss books offline. Or online much really.

>>16800270
Based and narcissitic pilled.

>>16800270
Uh, based department??

>>16800688
now just quit reading and you'll fit right in here.

>>16786065
>to get some easy beautiful undergrad boys to fall in love with me.
Aren't you that same /pol/ faggot that has 100 different pics of your avatar?

>>16800731
nah. /lit/ and /mu/ are boring, I like books and music but fuck discussing them.

Unironically how easy will it be for me as an academic to impress and seduce young female students? I am currently completing my dissertation on mystical theology in early Christianity and Pseudo-Dionysius. I am reasonably attractive, white, and tall; should I adopt the dark academia meme so these girls will find me more brooding and appealing?

>>16800787
obviously

>>16798579
>girl in class likes short story I wrote for class
>says she'd totally wanna read more
>"haha you too"

he writes too. he thinks everything i make is special. i think he thinks i'm better than him at writing. the last time i sent him anything he seemed not won over;
(11/12/2020
I have like 3 braincells ok
and half the attention span of a dog
Don't know what else to say)
and it's adorable that he's insecure because of my writing, but it also masculinizes me in the situation and makes me obviously unappealing
he likes anything that has to do with anti-technology rhetoric and i sent him a tiny letter that referenced nature in extremely romantic language
but i also think he's at his absolute wits end with me sometimes, which i've brought up like 8 times and he always refutes. i think he thinks he'll look like an asshole if he doesn't. none of this would be able to happen if he didn't already have a stemfag gf.
oh well. it's contradictory to the true lit lifestyle for any love to be attainable. the only function romance should serve in your life is as another torture.

>>16785920
Yes, with short novels/poems written for the person (although, really, it was written for what I fantasized the person to be) but the attraction started before the writing, so I dont know if it really helped or not.
Also, I found it useless and out of place with the woman I am now sharing my life with and will stay with for the rest of my days.

>>16785920
Yes, but only because it was an easy avenue for conversation for people who start out attractive.

>>16785920
How I got my girlfriend of 5 years, now fiance. She gave me a book of Salinger, I gave her a short story of mine, she broke me out of a contentious long distance relationship with an animate clod of a human being.

Things occasionally work out.

>>16785920
I don't tell people that I read. To be honest, I don't tell people anything about myself. Every once in a while my parents will ask me what I'm reading and I'll just give vague answers like "a history book". I keep this hobby to myself because A) I don't want people to think I'm pretentious for talking about literature and B) other people tend to ruin things, so it's best to keep it to myself. Reading is for me and my friends on /lit/. Love you, boys.

>>16801461
this

i put the book im currently reading in my tinder bio. when i was reading xenophon a classics major who was better looking than me started texting me and we talked about greek and roman historians. unfortunately we were too different for it to last.

>>16801520
>i put the book im currently reading in my tinder bio

No, but I have used literature to pass the superficial small talk phase with an arthoe from tinder. It's not just a status game it's like a security check. If you know enough about X it's like you have a clean enough background not to assault them.

>>16801583
>know a lot about literature
>won't savagely murder them
not adding up.

>>16790096
>>16790113
Cringe and gay
>>16792556
Based

>>16792556
Then you are as a dog, or as a cow, or as any other animal who performs these acts as such

>>16801067
>the feel of not being with someone because they’re taken even though you’d probably make a much better couple
I know it all too well

>>16801596
You have to hide your power level. You have to know just enough. You do not tell her the past 10 years of your life have been a self imposed isolation to work through the canon of world philosophy. You tell her you have also read Emily Dickinson, and you liked her too.

No but i once ended a relationship because a girlfriend recommended me Rupi Kaur
>>16790167
>noooo you can’t find 16 year olds attractive
Seethe, obvious outsider
>>16785920
>Foucault was a gay simp
Lmao what a loser

>>16801559
usually it gets me artsy slampigs which is more the point of tumblr than anything else.

>>16801856
>i once ended a relationship because a girlfriend recommended me Rupi Kaur
kek I've heard multiple anons say similar things

>>16801954
You know what, that's actually kind of based. I recant, Anon.

>>16790167
Based

>>16801712
Cows eat pussy? Damn they get more action than me

>>16790113
>carriage
>350BC

>>16785920
I told a girl who would later become my ex that I did, in fact, play Dragon Age: Origins.

>>16802624
What does that have to do with your writing?

>>16785920
actually yes, even though my writing fucking sucks that's how i got my ex and met the girl i loved more than her, and also how i met the last girl i slept with who meant anything at all to me even though she really didn't. wish i weren't so obsessed with not having a gf to really write. wish i had a gf or a wife. needs get in the way

>>16802982
It was a shitty joke.

>>16786277

pics of her or house of lies

>>16786277
an instant classic. 10/10. a new copy pasta is born today

>>16800787
>cup on paper
Recklessness.

>>16786277
checked, based, new copypasta
anon is a literary king, suave and daring

>>16786277
A gripping read, 9/10

>>16786277
I shed a tear, honestly.

>>16786277
I suspended my disbelief, and for that I was rewarded.

>>16786277
>me smiling for the screencap

>>16804196
Why do you grow your hair so long if your hairline is so fucked up? Fucking shave it, man

>>16804534
lmao

>>16803597

Why should I save it?

>>16785920
Yes. Somehow. I am not a good writer.

>>16790448
imagine believing the "le hitler so bad xD" meme in 2020

>>16790167
cringe

>>16790192
I'm taking care of not reading any author that signed that petition.

>>16805974
I doubt you could name another person who signed that petition

>>16785920
Yes, myself.

>>16785920
yes ,but never the one.

Everything I write is garbage and everything I know is shit.

>>16793491
I realize you are merely typing a non-sequitur but you have aroused vivid memories in me of the time I read a Princess Leia weight gain fanfic.

The premise of the story, you see, is that it takes place when she's Jabba's captive during Return of the Jedi. Jabba begins to fatten her with his rich, disgusting Hutt cuisine. And Leia can only resist for so long before she gradually gives in, and she becomes bloated and obese, her huge body outgrowing the slave bikini several times over.

She even learns to enjoy Jabba's sexual attentions, enjoying his disgusting Hutt tongue pleasuring her vagina. Her fattened body puts Luke off the first time he sees it, and he loses his bravado when bluffing with Jabba in that infamous scene in the film.

Ultimately Leia is so fat and bloated and hoggish that she kills Jabba, not because she strangles him like in the film, but because her huge fat pale bottom crushes his face and causes him to asphyxiate. Then her massive fat self has to be lifted out of the collapsing sail barge.

This board got me my bf. We were in a group of people talking about books and I noticed him when he said he's read infinite jest and lolita so I suspected that he got his reading list from here too, so we started talking more and we admitted we both use /lit/ he asked me if I'm in the lit reading disc and we both were and set up a date the next day

>>16786277
How do all the retards keep falling for this out of context copy pasta?
Newfags lurk moar.

>>16806326
How ‘bout you dump that zero and get with this hero right here, baby?

>>16786277
Based and checked

>>16785920
I've been runing my university's literature club for almost a year by now, been there for a couple more. We're all ugly and/or short, none of us can get any, specially art hoes.
The vast majority of those interested in the club are women, about 80% or so, yet only men stick around. Freshmen always sound very excited in emails and messages, that energy always disappears immediatly when they show up to discussions. While some might stick around for one more book or two, no girls are active.
At first we tried to improve retention. Voting for books which interest girls, even if personally they weren't our first option, prioritizing women for speaking, asking for their views if they were silent, and such. None of it made a difference, by this point I've given up entirely.
Mind it, it's an entirely STEM university, most of us are engineering students. I've eventually realized all these enthusiastic girls read enough romances as teens, to fantasize about an emotionally complex, sensitive man. Who just happens to be handsome and tall.
In a way it's nice since it filters out those not actually interested in reading, but I think most of the guys around much into it either. We just don't have much else to do, as most of us have few other friends, and no girlfriends.

>>16790521
Did I write this? Describes everything about me. I can't tell if The Handsome Autist is the best or worst lot in life.

>>16798593
>Hailing from a several thousand years old tradition
>Acting as if you, the hormone taking, mentally insane sodomite aren't the weirdo

I thought you retarded faggots gained some self awareness after r/atheism became a laughingstock. Always remember, you're the weird one

>>16801461
Same, when i said to my friends that i enjoy reading and i would like to share this hobby with them, they didn't care, most of them we're playing vidya when i was talking, so yes, it's better to enjoy things on your own and surf /lit/ to not feel so lonely

>>16807242
Why the fuck would you run a book club for soulless automatons (Engineers)?

>>16807710
How dare you deny me a chance to be human

>>16807744
You never had a chance in the first place, #2592, not get back to work designing my bridge

>>16785920
Early dating, sending poems back and forth by text, testing each other's wit. It was fun.

Yes multiple times. Even in HS I was the editor-in-chief of the paper. Literally had a girl that would suck my cock in the office because she thought I was so smart. A big part of the connection my wife and I made is via letters and her laughing at my stories.

Yes unironically.

I wrote a fantasy story that I turned into an audiodrama. After I made it I got offered by someone with a new company to have them host it on their site. Through them I was introduced to my current GF (been together 8 months).

I wrote a children's book that she edited, and she edits some of my other stuff. We later started an editing company together.

None of that would have happened if I hadn't written a story that opened doors.

>>16789942
What's your problem boy?

>>16804812
I want to suck on Hitler's toes

>>16802594
>chariots didn't exist in 350BC

>>16808883
In Sparta?

>>16785920
Yeah, I had a girl find my writings and tell me she was in love with my brain. She liked me before she found the writing though, so it's not like my writing actually hooked her at first.

My current wife fell in love with me when I sang a song for her on the beach but i had gotten her interested by dancing with her and having a few drinks with her before. Then we got some cuban food and went to the beach and I got my guitar out and sang her a few songs I had written. I don't know if it was the lyrics or the melody that did the trick.

>>16809363
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVmCwmC5-kQ

>>16800787
the type of girl you posted is usually the dirtiest niggerfucker imaginable

>>16809341
The chariot was invented around 3000 BC in Mesopotamia. They were spread around the Middle East and Eastern Mediterranean during the Bronze Age which ended in 1200 BC. Chariots definitely existed in Sparta in 350 BC retard

>>16809363
>My current wife fell in love with me when I sang a song for her on the beach

cringe

>>16809664
Cope with the fact you’ll never experience so pure a love.

>>16809685
true, i never experienced love, but still man, fucking cringe

>>16809695
Feel bad for you. Maybe not being so autistic about romance and intimacy would enable you to actually find love?

>>16809701
maybe, maybe not, i don´t know, i never had a gf to begin with

I've never managed to attract a lover

>>16809664
You really got him! Nice one!

>>16804534
Please dont bully him or he may commit another mass murder

>>16786277

>>16786277
Name of that kid? Albert Einstein.