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/lit/ - Literature

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1676903 No.1676903 [Reply] [Original]

>take /lit/'s advice and ask the girl i met the other day out on a date
>meet her in town and she's wearing jeans and a kinda flowery...dress thing whilst i'm wearing my blazer and shirt because i'm not poor as fuck
>we meet and she goes in for a hug, she's wearing some perfume that i tell her makes her smell whorish
>i ask if we should get a coffee first before going to dinner and we sit down for drinks
>she asks me what my interests are
>iterature
>she begins a have vomit irrelevant words and string them into sentances
>i am reminded of Anonymous
>she's saying 'JANE EYRE IS SUCH A COOL BOOK' and whilst this happens i set up my own stall next to our table advertising oral sex for money.
>i hammer the girls teeth in so her mouth is a gummy slimy paradise
>her eyes are glazed over and she's still talking
>men begin to use her as a glorified peep hole.
>they finish and we go for dinner
>she orders the soup and i get a steak
>she's now about Harry Potter
>i phone my dealer and get him to deliver some heroin, paying with the money i made turning tricks, and shoot up whilst at the table
>in a haze of euphoria i savagely destroy the restaurant with my brute strength and pull out my TEC-9
>i fire several shots into the girls chest
>as i pass out i hear her still speaking, blood pouring from her mouth
>i wake up underneath a table, with her gone but a sticky note saying 'had a great time, hope to see you again? ;) xoxoxo'
>vomit on it and leave to catch my bus home

anyways, currently reading some Robert louis stevenson short stories, what does everyone think? i enjoyed jekyll & hyde a lot, but his others are good
pic related it's a cool dr jekyll and mr hyde thing from google!

>> No.1676904
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1676904

pic related, it's what she looked like, only she was prettier and less slutty.

>> No.1676909

Knocked it outta the park.

RLS is boss.

>> No.1676929

7/10, second line was the best part. You reused a picture though, which is sloppy (lol sloppy).

>> No.1676932

>>1676929
>>1676929

i reused it because it's the same girl as my last one!
i asked /lit/ if i should date her and they said yes, i'm going to get her to take a pic with timestamp for you guys (if i see her again)

>> No.1676937
File: 55 KB, 500x895, gdfgfdgfd.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1676937

brownbear, what town do you live in that all the girls are such fucking retards?

>> No.1676941

Your greentext threads do make me laugh, but fuck. I wish you weren't able to post in other threads.

You cunt.

>> No.1676942

>>1676937
earth

>> No.1676944

>>1676937
>implying all women in the uk aren't retards

usa usa usa

>> No.1676947
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1676947

http://green-oval.net/cgi-board.pl/lit/thread/1674614

>> No.1676948

worst tripfag

>> No.1676951

>>1676937
Doesn't he stay in Glasgow, or am I confusing him with the other tripfags he sucks dick with.,

>> No.1676954

Brownbear makes me want to join the Tao Lin fan club

>> No.1676969 [DELETED] 
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1676969

this >>1676947

also mfw i realise it's now only other tripfags who are actually responding with anything less than a sage and an insult

>> No.1676977

this >>1676947

also note how the only people now actually responding with anything more than a sage and an insult are other tripfags

>> No.1676983
File: 20 KB, 1321x220, Brownbear and D&E priase.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1676983

>>1676977
>>1676977
please don't interrupt my thread with your sages.
post constructively or not at all

>> No.1677005

>>1676983

CUNT

FUCK OFF AND DIE

>> No.1677014

How do brownbear's topics never get deleted? I made ONE off-topic thread a while ago, and got banned for 2 days. A lonely 2 days.

>> No.1677017
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1677017

karma's a bitch

>> No.1677043
File: 91 KB, 464x476, fabulous attatched to a stickman.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1677043

>>1677005
>>1677005
umad?

>>1677014
>>1677014
the mods, zey lurve me

>> No.1677051

HELP 404 THE CANCER!

>> No.1677066
File: 2.27 MB, 400x226, dis gon be good GIF.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1677066

>>1677051
>>1677051

>> No.1677074

>>1677066

HELP 404 THE CANCER!

>> No.1677075

this is clearly fiction, thus related to /lit/

>> No.1677087
File: 15 KB, 300x403, alan_hand_on_chin.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1677087

Crass yet dignified.

I like it.

>> No.1677090

HELP 404 THE CANCEREROUS FAGGOTS!

>> No.1677091
File: 192 KB, 600x582, Ralph Wiggum Ectasy.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1677091

>>1677074
>>1677074

>> No.1677101
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1677101

>tripfriend makes a thread about Robert Louis Stevenson, with an anecdote (clearly exaggerated for comic effect) explaining his motivation for wanting to discuss it and to help stimulate conversation about one of the greatest victorian-era writers
>SAGE FOR NON /lit/ HURRRRRRRR LOL STUPID TRIPFAGS NOBODY HABEEBS YOU WE WANT TO TALK ABOUT KINDLES Y U WANT ORIGINAL CONTENT

>> No.1677112
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1677112

never befriend tripfags

>> No.1677119

>>1677112

>tripfag hatred
>as irrational as racism

precisely, bro.

>> No.1677123

HELP 404 THE CANCER!

>> No.1677131

HELP 404 THE CANCER!

>> No.1677143
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1677143

>>1677131
>>1677131
>>1677123
>>1677123

here's some OC i made

>> No.1677145

HELP 404 THE CANCER!

>> No.1677150
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1677150

>mfw delicious anon tears

>> No.1677152

>>1677119

>tripfag hatred
>justified by tripfag attitude

precisely, bro.

>> No.1677154

HELP 404 THE CANCER! sometimes you need to clean the sink

>> No.1677160

HELP 404 THE CANCER! Every one of these is better than the average tripfag post

>> No.1677167

bump

>> No.1677176

HELP 404 THE CANCER!

>> No.1677182
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1677182

o boy i sure do wonder what all this saging will do to my thread.
i do wonder gee golly gosh whether i might darn tootin just re-zippy de do dah-post it!

>> No.1677193

HELP 404 THE CANCER! Every one of these is better than the average tripfag post

>> No.1677198
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1677198

animooted

>> No.1677203

>>1677198
>>1677198
>>1677193
>>1677193
anti-sage

>> No.1677220

>>1677198

the fuck is this

>> No.1677259
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1677259

>> No.1677269

bump

>> No.1677272

Good story Brownbear, already excited for the next one. This is what gets me through the day.

>> No.1677284
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1677284

set ye alight so that ye may be noticed
it would be preferable

>> No.1677334

Acceptable story. Still not better than the jazz bar ("jazz bar" lol) one, but not worse than the church one.
But keep rolling BB, haters gonna hate (and this is why it's funny).
This would be a better place if everyone posted their own short stories instead of whining about pointless bullshit.

>>1677101
Hmmm... I must agree with this. Still rage when first page is full of tripfaggotry though.

>>1676948
>Still doesn't know Fabulous.

>> No.1677343

well isn't this nice

>> No.1677347

When exactly did this occur Brownbear?

>> No.1677350

>>1677334

The only mention of Stevenson is at the bottom of the OP. It wasa never agian brought up. He just puts that shit in there as a failsafe so he can go 'HURR SAGING A /lit/ THREAD'

>> No.1677353

hey Brownie, why are you still here? Last night you said you quit /lit/ forever.

I guess you just couldn't resist posting the same thing every day.

>> No.1677369

Reported under spam/flooding.

Be diligent, Anon.

>> No.1677372

>>1677350
You see how useless your sage is?

>> No.1677375

needs less misogyny

>> No.1677381

>>1677372

It beats bumping a thread I fucking hate. If others do it, whatever, but I won't do it myself.

>> No.1677401

>>1677350
Yeah, but I still think that if YOU, BB, and everyone posted their own short stories (not ONLY argue about literature, which is interesting too), that would be a better place.
BB tries to write funny short stories (and the best part is that they use to involve literature related themes). You may like his stories or not, but I would like to read more humorous short stories written by random people on /lit/.

>> No.1677405

>>1677375
Are you kidding? Where would be the fun then?

>> No.1677408

i thought you were leaving the country, faggot

>> No.1677418

>>1677381
You'll sage a thread twice but can't be bothered to report it?

Stay helpless, Anon.

>> No.1677444
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1677444

>>1677381
>>1677381
it gives me somethnig to reply to and lets me bump my own thread
sages are a negative thing when you want people to stop posting in threads

>>1677347
>>1677347
today

>>1677334
>>1677334
thanks bro

BEAR FORCE FOR LIFE

>>1677272
>>1677272
you're welcome son

>>1677343
>>1677343
my favourite
<3

>> No.1677462

>>1677444

>let me just think about those dubs for a moment.jpg

you're good.

>> No.1677468

>>1677418

I actually reported it long before I posted. It hasn't done much good though, obviously.

>> No.1677475

>>1677468
>>1677468
anti-sage

>> No.1677561
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1677561

does anyone want to actually discuss robert louis stevenson's short stories?
or do they just want to shower me with praise as usual.

the stories in my collection are:

Dr jekyll and mister hyde
Body-Snatcher
A lodging for the night
markhein
thrawn janet
the misadventures of john nicholson

i'm on the last one atm, bout 50 pages left iirc so i can discuss any of the other stories mentioned properly

>> No.1677564

what the fuck is wrong with you

>> No.1677566
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1677566

This is SO not /lit/ related/

Sage and reported.

Fucking tripfags.

>> No.1677574
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1677574

>>1677561
alan killed everyone

in the end he gets sent to an asylum and john and flora live happily ever after

your own medicine: tasted

>> No.1677578 [DELETED] 
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1677578

Interesting story man.
I fucking despise you with every fibre of my being

>> No.1677577

>>1677574
>>1677574
confused about what story you are referring to here

>> No.1677583

>>1677564
>>1677564
why can't we be friends onionring?
your beef is with truman ca-bro-te not me

>>1677578
>>1677578
oh look it's this post again

>> No.1677589

>>1677578
r u tom

>> No.1677594

>>1677589
>>1677589
yes it is tomharper,
what book were you apparently 'ruining'

>> No.1677602

i think you were influenced by 'naked lunch' for this one

c:

>> No.1677604

>>1677594
>>1677594
the misadventures

>> No.1677607

some of the spelling in this issue is absolutely atrocious

>> No.1677614
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1677614

>she begins a have vomit irrelevant words and string them into sentances
>beings to have a vomite irrelevant words

the sweet irony

>> No.1677622

>>1677604
>>1677604
wow looking forward to this now, thought it was a bit dry but fuck me i wanna see where he develops these tweests from

mfw you make me read faster

keep doing this shit Fab

>> No.1677628
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1677628

>>1677622
>>1677622
>Accept it defense
heh

>> No.1677655

>>1677628
>>1677628
actually being serious, no murders have been committed yet and it strikes me as quite light and heartwarming so far.

wanna see where these bad ass killings come in

>> No.1677671

>>1677655
well then i suppose everything worked out in the end

you still fucked over madame bovary for me tho, ya prick

>> No.1677675
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1677675

>>1677671
forgot image

>> No.1677680

>>1677675
>>1677675
what other books were you looking to read Fab?

>> No.1677682

>>1677680
the scarlet letter and slaughterhouse-five

>> No.1677689

tripfag shit-fest

>> No.1677701

>>1677682
you're missing tomharper have a breakdown on litclub bro lol

>> No.1677703

Brownbear watch Wrestlemania with me!

http://yycast.com/vipstandme2

>> No.1677713

>>1677701
it's not like we all haven't seen that before

>> No.1677717

>>1677703
Thankee

>> No.1677722 [DELETED] 
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1677722

>>1677701
>>1677713
Fuck you, you self obsessed nonce.

>> No.1677721

>>1677682
>>1677682
roland weary dies and biully dies in the future

Hester and Chillingworth die

>> No.1677731
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1677731

>>1677721
thx i have a book report due tmmr

>> No.1677735 [DELETED] 
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1677735

Nice one on getting me banned from litclub, jerk.

>> No.1677744
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1677744

God I am so sick of seeing all these pretentious photos of Nick Cave..The Birthday Party was good, "The Mercy Seat" is a fab song, but on the whole he's overrated, blahblahblah and all of his pictures make him look like a tool, which of course he actually is...

>> No.1677746
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1677746

>>1677735
>>1677735
u did it!

bsides he b& us both

>> No.1677752
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1677752

>>1677744

>"The Mercy Seat" is a fab song
>a fab song
>fab

>> No.1677755

>>1677744
DAT GIF?!?!?!

>> No.1677758 [DELETED] 
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1677758

>> No.1677767
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1677767

>>1677758
fixed

>> No.1677771

>>1677767
Which is the bitch and which is the butch?

>> No.1677775 [DELETED] 
File: 218 KB, 400x300, &lt;3.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1677775

;___;

>> No.1677778

>>1677744
>nick cave
>overrated
birthday party isnt that great but the bad seeds are excellent cry more faggot

>> No.1677782

>>1677771

I don't know anon, I guess the bitch is probably the one with the fucking leash around it's neck.

>> No.1677784

>>1677744
Hahaha, oh, wow.

http://oglaf.com/8legs/

>> No.1677785

>>1677778
Yea you are sooo edgy because you like Nick Cave stop trying to defend your indie cred brah, j.k. but he's really over-rated, seriously..a lot of fringe artists are

>> No.1677787
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1677787

>> No.1677796

please stop posting off-topic in my thread

thanks

>> No.1677799 [DELETED] 
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1677799

>> No.1677816
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1677816

>> No.1677819

>>1677787
>>1677799
I just need to work harder i guess.

>> No.1677820

>>1677785
>Inductee of ARIA Hall of Fame
>2 ARIA Awards
Just because it's not American doesn't mean it's indie.
I bet you think The Smiths are indie too.

>> No.1677824 [DELETED] 

im tired and sad and dont have litclub tot take my mind off things i think im going to do something _

>> No.1677834

>>1677824

if you kill yourself please mention /lit/ in your suicide note, we're long overdue such notoriety kthxbai

>> No.1677845

>>1677824
i made my own since brownbully b& us

>> No.1677864
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1677864

>>1677816

>> No.1677870

>>1677864
don't like roseanne?

i gave you dan

>> No.1677880

>>1677870
>don't like roseanne?
I don't think I've ever watched a single episode so probably not in a position to judge

>> No.1677896

>>1677880
then wats the big dealy-o

>> No.1677912

STOP

>> No.1677946

bump for actual discussion

>> No.1677952

>>1677912
>>1677912
onion JUST WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM WITH MY THREAD

i eagerly await your reply

signed
Brownbear

>> No.1678002

nothing really i just felt like saying that.

>> No.1678010
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1678010

>>1678002

>> No.1678026
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1678026

sage

>> No.1678035
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1678035

>>1678002
>>1678002
<3333333333333333333333333

>> No.1678143

bump

>> No.1678269

last bump
bedtime for me now, /lit/

>> No.1678274

>>1678269

nighty night. hopefully you die in your sleep.

>> No.1678278
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1678278

>>1678274
that is just fucking violent

>> No.1678281

>>1678274
>>1678274
you're a part of the care group!
my beloved and devoted fanclub

don't try and kill your master.

>> No.1678283

>>1678281

ok lit's abatap

>> No.1678285

>>1678278

who's dick would you suck all day if BB died, fagulous?

>> No.1678288

>>1678278
>>1678285
oh god

you don't know half of what you think you do

>> No.1678300

>>1678288

I don't really care, just would be thrilled if you all died.

>> No.1678302
File: 6 KB, 264x191, ChhekHoov.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1678302

>>1678300
how cruel