/lit/ - Literature

>>16774265
I'm not in the mood for that right now.

>>16774265
Write a story about a pig playing chess with Groucho Marx and the pig wins and he becomes the sheriff of reno

>>16774265
write a short story about this image

>>16774624
Strutting with the swagger of a man who knows he could sell a vat full of enema fluid, Bob sauntered into the Agency of one Melanie Jackson. “I have an interest in your husband. Fancy the way he says ‘sez,’ dig? I have a proposition for him: I’ll get him first dibs on that Big Ice Cream Cone in the sky, send him up in a space elevator to act as a mediator for humanity with the Xists. They appreciate the way he says ‘sez’ too, yeah?” “I’m not in the mood for that,” she barked, settling back to her manuscript, one entitled “L’Academie.”

>>16774694
Pretty good.

>>16774682
Strutting with the swagger of a man who knows he could sell a vat full of enema fluid, Bob sauntered into the Agency of one Melanie Jackson. “I have an interest in your husband. Fancy the way he says ‘sez,’ dig? I have a proposition for him: I’ll get him first dibs on that Big Ice Cream Cone in the sky, send him up in a space elevator to act as a mediator for humanity with the Xists. They appreciate the way he says ‘sez’ too, yeah?” “I’m not in the mood for that,” she barked, settling back to her manuscript, one entitled “L’Academie.”

The visage of glass cracking at an alarming rate settled like a film over his eyes, as the orbs of light sped-by, the amber hue of the sodium bulbs that shone down on the night’s stretch of highway ahead; tricks of light, or the heart careening into a viscous coke rapture. Incessant wiping of the nose, his fingers still fresh with the scent of the young tale he got (said she was 19, who knows, didn’t bother pulling the Bouncer Check). Free from the scornful eyes and jeers of a city’s hum, alone to chase away whatever he hides on the road. Fuck: tank low. Station in under half a mile. Cigarette lit; he has to look busy with his hands. He pulled-in. Mouth free to spasm as his smoke hung from it. Some porcine bitch with damaged capillaries on her face mouthed something at him, but he couldn’t hear.


>>16774641
I don't know much about Groucho Marx. I'll come back to this maybe.

>>16774770
lol disregard that first paragraph there... didn't realize I copied my whole word doc.

>>16774641
In a plane just adjunct, beyond the calibration of our mundane eyes, in the midst of obelisks and scintillating towers of emerald, two of the dearly-departed from our hylic zone converse, John Lennon and Groucho Marx.
“Ever tell you of the time I lost Reno to a pig?”
“Ay, never. Do tell, Grouch.”
“One of the most peculiar things happened one summer night, when I was filing out of a casino on that small strip, but who should I run in to, but Ol’ Kitchener Leslie! Now, Kitch is a mean son-of-a-bitch, from what I’ve heard. Used to beat railroad bums to death. So, we see he has this pig with him, this goddamn dirty creature he walks around with on a leash. Comes up to me, see, comes up, and says “fancy a game of chess, Mr. Marx?” Now, I didn’t know he meant his pig was gonna play. I’ve never once encountered a pig in my travels who had a fondness for chess, but by God, this farm animal could play. I don’t know how fast it happened, but we ended up in a smoky backroom, attracting a huge fuss over this Hog vs. Man event. Bets were placed. I didn’t know what I was getting into. Man, this pig could fucking play! Pawns lost immediately, rooks taken, my knights seized. This pig knew his stuff. I was checked in a matter of minutes. I couldn’t believe it. And I swear, I swear that after it was over, after I was thrust into shame for losing to an animal, this pig spoke! Which, in retrospect, shouldn’t have been that shocking, considering the grace and dexterity in which this pig played his moves. He snorted, shuffled on his hog feet some, turned around, and I swear, I swear, this fucking pig called me a Jew!”
“Oh, I’m sorry, Grouch. I nodded off halfway through… heroin doesn’t mess you up on this side.”

>>16774770
*tail
FUG

is that all you nerds got???????

>>16775207
Write a story about a gang of gentlemen bandits overtaking a train

>>16775227
I said a paragraph, m8.

Fashionable men, three in total, adorned with petticoats of the finest lace stormed the carriage. Their crossdressing made more absurd by their finesse of tongue. “Pardon us, fine folk, for plunging your voyage into a dolorous affair, but me and my merry trio of associates here have a rapacious thirst for trollops! We are in desperate need of coin to continue our carnal affairs, and if you would, so kindly, humour us by handing over all your possessions, and I’ll see to it that we won’t throw you off this car into mangled mess amidst a copse.” Pandemonium broke loose. Purses were thrown, the powder makeup suffused throughout the air, hitting and knocking over a desert tray that careened into a glass punch bowl upon a table, shattering the ornate display into a thousand flesh-slicing shards.

>>16775362
>desert
dessert*

>>16774265
I lose an election at a club and none of my friends want to talk to me anymore.

>>16774265
Keep a dream journal. There's your writing prompts.

>>16774265
What are they laughing at?

>>16775432
I knew I had had overstepped before I even went up to speak. Far too much social posturing, handshaking, put me into a state of reaching for the nearest drink tray of one of the servers. There’s a certain point you reach, where one sip opens the gates for unalloyed confidence, and you misread the nods and smiles of the audience. I started off strong, spewing my skills and certificates that would make me the ideal chief secretary of our little club, seeing the kind faces flash their pride over me undertaking such a task. I had them. They were mine! Oh, God, that’s when I uttered that phrase that was my undoing: “Do we really need women amongst us?” Smiles turned to furrowed confusion. “Yes, yes, why on Earth should we deal with their gossip, Gentleman? We’re on the precipice of a great scientific revolution, a singularity, where the means of reproduction can be seized by the stronger gender! I’m talking anal-womb implants for men! I’m talking a breakaway civilization! It’s surely a dream Tesla would have dreamt!” I went on, against better judgement. Needless to say, I was taken off the PTA’s mailing list, and barred from ever attending another meeting. My wife left me shortly after. My daughter won’t return my calls. Rather stuffy for a PTA with a liquor license…

>>16775596
nearest servers' drink tray would've worked better here, oh well...

>>16775537
This one is tough...

>>16775537
>>16775630
Yeah, too tough for me. Wanted to add something off-kilter, but the picture is just too wholesome. All I had was "doggo has floppy ears, doggo chase tail, lookit doggo go!"

>>16774265
> give me a prompt
disgusted horse

>>16775837
They are laughing because I've read to them this paragraph
here >>16775837

>>16775362
Not the one that made the request, but I just got to say that was perfect.

>>16775898
Down Marlow Road where the pavement seeps into gravel like brackish water flowing into a lake, where the landscape is dotted with barns, grain silos, and patchwork pastures, we drove. Looking for the Esteemed Learned Horse of Cheshire. Spoken like a portent in the hushed circles of the literati of London, this horse gathered a fierce reputation as one of the most erudite creatures in these green aisles, often granting literary advice, and, if he feels up to it, a red pen edit on your latest manuscript! The price: a plump red delicious.
We traversed the muddy fields under the grey English skies, reaching the fence where our would-be mentor (of an older age) stood, stark and strong. My companion reached into his anorak for his fruit. To my horror, the idiot, he pulled out a nectarine. The Learned Horse could only glare in disgust before trotting off.

>>16775963
kekkd aloud
pic related him listening to my new story

>>16775963
>The Learned Horse
I like this, reminded me of the Houyhnhnms

here's another one also. our catholic goat

>>16776075
Swift wrote his best stuff under the moniker "Dr. Shit" desu.

>>16776077
>>16776058
Based af

>>16776091
Are you feeling well today?

>>16776272
Haven't slept in 28 hours. Pretty stressed. Stool reflects it. Running on coffee and pure spite rn.

Thanks for the kind words, anons. Gonna pass out now.