/lit/ - Literature

Extremely erudite. As my eyes gazed in wonder at the unfurling of such scintillating proses, I quite literally exclaimed "R.C. is the Joyce of today!"

>>16740421
Stop shilling this chink on /lit/. Don't make him the new Jreg

>>16740432
Jreg actually had some self-awareness, played up the whole faggot thing. R.C is simply a huge faggot by nature.

>>16740432
Try Reading the book he's actually good

>>16740428
>proses
I don't know why thats so funny to me

>>16740448
(this anon is being sarcastic)
>>16740455
It's quite literally how he writes. There are lonely cat ladies in Facebook groups who have Minions cover photos who can write better than R.C and his stupid fucking Dark Academic style.

>>16740471
>so effortless under those satisfying punches of the keys
>a craft that have not left me since
kek

>>16740436
You're right anon. He's nothing like Jreg, although Jreg channel is very cringe to watch. He is a pretentious faggot. Talks about books as if he masturbates to them or something. So cringe. He's a fucking faglord.

Why do people here have such a hateboner for this guy?
Just don't watch his videos if you don't like him? Or what, did your tinder match try to convince you to read his book?

What's going on in this thread

ummmmmmmm

>>16740526
lmao someone left this review, I guarentee this guy is from /lit/

>>16740526
Rated higher than Portrait of the artist as a young man. Genius confirmed!

>>16740471
>dark academic style
??? what is the dark academic style

>>16740432
>jreg
The embodiment of reddit and the eternal redditor spirit

>>16740573
Literally just LARPing as a middle aged professor when you're in your 20s. Elbow-patched blazers, earth tones, using literary novels as a fashion accessory. Just imagine all the young men you've met who lied about reading GR or James Joyce.

>>16740436
i don't believe this but i don't want to watch his videos to find out
that jreg queer's ugly faggot face makes me so fucking angry
i want to pour a bucket of industrial solvents on his head

>>16740600
Calm down, B. Go outside.

>>16740614
sory, anon
i'm just really angry right now
i think it's cuz a woman stood next to me at the bookstore today
god, i hate women

>>16740624
Are you a balding incel? Do you have an interest in photography?

>>16740674
>balding
no
>incel
yessir
>Do you have an interest in photography?
yes as well

>>16740683
>>balding
>no
No need to lie, anon. I bet Waldun mogs you in the hair department.

>>16740471
Ignoring the prose he has quite a few grammatical errors. Did he not have an editor?

>a book about faggots shows up to dump misery on you for 800 pages

>>16740692
no you are mistaken
why do you assume i'm bald? why do you ask if i like photography? are those common incel traits? i'm an incel because my body is deformed, mind you.

>>16740513
He's a new lolcow

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9EX2po3P-w

>When I shoot these videos I feel like I'm giving a masterclass or something
>masterclass
>ESL faggot lecturing people on how to overcome writer's block
>proses

I get why people hate this guy now.

God I'm so happy this fag blew up, these threads give me the best laughs I've had in a while.

>>16741318
they’re the fastest moving threads but deleted by jannies within two hours

>>16740723
not him but how is it deformed, anon?

>>16740421
He's the next Proust.

>>16740428
>R.C. is the Joyce of today
So... Should I avoid him?
Kek

>>16740513
>Why do people here have such a hateboner for this guy?
>Just don't watch his videos if you don't like him? Or what, did your tinder match try to convince you to read his book?
This. I wouldn't even know who the fuck this guy is if it wasn't for this Godforsaken place.

>>16741538
see>>16740745

>>16741539
Come back here when you feel like talking about literature, anglo.
Otherwise, fuck you!

>>16741559
ok there, incel. seethe some more, why don't ya?

im so glad im not alone in how much i despise this fucking retard. haven't ever seen his proses before this thread though, thats a huge fuckin yikes dawg

>>16741422
gyno
i'm not even overweight at all
i'm not fat but i still have titties
it's over

>>16740526
Butters enjoyed the middle book

>>16741590
lmao nigga just get a fucking job and save 5-8 grand and get the surgery. goddamn, take a fucking loan out or something, borrow some money from your parents... goddamn nigga, shit ain't hard. you'd have to be retarded to not be able to make that amount of money in half a year.

>>16741599
i really need to spend 8000 dollars to get a gf?
girls can't just accept any imperfection?
they are that shallow?
if so i'll just give up
there will always be someone more attractive than me, and any girl i fall in love with will just be a whore and leave me for him

>>16741614
Okay, be a fucking faggot and continue being insecure about taking off your jacket then. Good god, some of you guys are pathetic.

>>16740500
His misanthropy video was my introduction to him, and God is he unfunny

>>16741590
probably most men will in a few decades. all food and drink is contaminated.

>>16741614
>ahhh jeez, guys, idk if doing something that would improve my quality of life is worth it
>ugh, women are such whores

Eight grand ain't shit, loser.

>>16741617
anon i've been a horrifically mutilated animal for almost 25 years now
i've been seen as subhuman for my entire life
what can i do other than be pathetic and insecure?

>>16741632
women love guys who think of themselves as mutilated a animal who, at nearly 25, can't come up with an average month's salary to fix their bitch tits.

https://www.litpublication.com/stories/u26pr93gxirlml51sxkmedslcpmx8v

Love his new attempt to synthesize Hemingway’s prose with a timid millennial’s attitude toward women. Groundbreaking stuff.

>>16741680
>Hutchinson's Bookshop
i wonder if they have battletoads

>>16741680
>Who's here?
>Rick here, speaking.
>Who's that speaking?
>Zach here, thanks man.

>>16741680
>I walked over to the classics section and picked off a few editions of the book and handed them to her, "There's quite a few of them. Translations are a little different but other than that they're all the same."

>a little different but other than that they're all the same
lmao wut
Goddamn, for real, if you can read GR cover to cover, then you can learn how to use a fucking comma.

>>16741680
>https://www.litpublication.com/stories/u26pr93gxirlml51sxkmedslcpmx8v
so bad

>>16741680
this guy badly needs to have sex

>>16741680
am i retarded or did you guys also not understand what the hell was going on in that story?
here's how i understood it
some woman calls rick
then some girl enters the store
the woman is being a bitch so he hangs up?
he then asks the girl what she wants and gives it to her
then he tries to follow the girl who just left the store?
then his boss which might have been the woman on the phone stops him from chasing the girl?
is this correct?

>>16741713
Mudkip

>>16741680
What a piece of shit. Is that even a story? A guy's working a book shop, a girl enters, buys a book, tries to follow her across the street, but is stopped by his boss? What the fuck is that?
The pacing is just so awful. It was just a slog to read. Guy has no understanding of what a fucking paragraph actually is. He's slicing actions right down the middle by cutting to a new paragraph. The characters don't speak like any human beings I've ever heard. Some of them literally just say what they're about to do.
" I opened up the store's door and went back to the counter. Sarah returned to the back of the store for stock while Erica stayed at the counter with me and we were about to close the store. The older gentleman read the book he had just bought near the fireplace and it was a soothing night. I looked out of the window at the food stall and the girl was long gone. It was fleeing but it was real, but I still had a job to do and tomorrow's going to be a big day. "

Really, what is this? Literal mouthbreater-tier thoughts.

>>16741658
is this sarcasm or are you being serious? should i try asking a girl out? she won't see my bitch tits if i have a coat and shirt on so she might actually say yes. the problem is if i ever take my coat or, god forbid, my shirt off she might throw up at the sudden revelation of my tits
what do?

>>16741775
It's sarcasm. You might literally be autistic.

>>16741756
This is about what I got from it. It is written like dog shit and nothing interesting happens. If he actually works in a book store this story should be a red flag to his employer.
>>16741775
As bad as having tits is, it's probably your extremely low self esteem that is a bigger issue in terms of getting with women. Unattractive and average men have normal healthy relationships all the time, you just need to stop living inside your own head

>>16741756
Yeah lol there’s next to not plot or anything even remotely resembling a story here

how's this guy? is this some kind of joke I'm to smart to understand?

>>16741799
who*, maybe I'm not so smart after all.

>>16741798
Technically there is a plot. A guy's working for five minutes, and sees a woman he fancies. A good writer could have made something interesting with that, but RC writes at an eighth grade level.

>>16741811
Yeah, now that I think about it, it’s a middle schooler’s version of Updike’s A&P

>>16741773
at first i was impressed with him
he's like 18 and he's read gravity's rainbow and has copies of Kant's works
i thought he was actually really smart
then when i read the fiction and "essays" that he wrote i realized he probably didn't understand a word of any of those classics he read

>>16741824
Booktubers are notorious for lying about reading the books they "review."
lmao do you actually believe things on youtube are real?

>>16741783
oh...
>>16741799
too*
>>16741790
but if i were to date a girl, and i were to wear a coat for a while such that she didn't realize that i have bitch tits, but i were to suddenly remove the coat, say, 2 weeks into our dating, would she dump me on the spot? would the discovery of such a hideous and hidden feature of myself cause her to weep or vomit or file sexual assault charges against me?

>>16741412
i think they thought it was RC himself shilling and not anons making fun of him
i think there's value in these threads... just act like RC if you can't walk the walk.

>>16741632
>>16741614
>>16741590
>>16740723
>>16741775
Give me your kik so i can titfuck you. You'll be my little whore and will suck this cock dry. I'm waiting bitch.

>>16741853
kek

>>16741853
God I'm horny ...

>>16741846
How am I meant to tell you how every single woman would react to something? Some women might dump you immediately, some wouldn't, as it stands you have the choice between:
1. wallowing in your bitch tit misery and getting absolutely no pussy, and
2. maybe getting some pussy
It is a pretty obvious choice

>>16741680
There's no way someone his age who's (supposedly) read what he has should write at this level. Shouldn't he at least be able try and imitate good shit he's read? I'm pretty sure Tumblr erotica written by lonely 15 year old girls has better prose than this.

I wanna write a short story about a young polymath with bitch tits who is afraid to take off his Dark Academic blazer in social situations now.

>>16741853
should i an hero? yay or nay
>>16741884
:(

>>16741889
Not sure whether you’re trolling, but you can easily get pussy looking like that. I have fat fuck friends pulling ass off confidence alone, you’re good, dude

>>16741889
what's with your nipples

>>16741889
Literally not even that bad. I've seen fat fucks with tits twice the size of yours pull bitches nigga. Like unless your face is fucked up beyond belief you shouldn't struggle that much with women who are average looking. If you hate your chest so much then just do as the other anons have said and save up to get the surgery.

>>16741889
This post 100% confirms that it is a self esteem problem

>>16741884
" A mild, ochre-hued day in the midst of a mild Fall, and I decided to saunter to the coffee shop for my daily fixing. Shoulders slouching forward, I fixed my salt spray-treated mop in the mirror, the obvious outline of my puffy nipples through my think shirt killing any confidence I had in my style. Bitch tits: bane of my existence, light of my sorrows.
I threw on my tweed blazer in front of the mirror, wiping off lint accumulated on the Tobacco suede elbow patches. It was a hot day, but I needed the heavy wool to conceal my estrogen-engorged body. In the mirror: faint peak in the coat near the chest, could be mistaken the biceps. Ready. I of course made sure to grab my copy of Molloy on my way out. Perhaps I could find a good angle in the coffee shop’s light, a corner and posture that would hide my tits, and read in hopes of a woman approaching me!"

>>16741948
>think
thin*
just hot off the PRESSES!

>>16741948
>the biceps
for*
I should probably try to at least read stuff through once before posting...

>>16741917
>>16741925
>>16741935
i refuse to believe you
>>16741919
ahhhhhh anon idk :(
>>16741948
>>16741953
pls dont anon pls im crying bro

https://www.litpublication.com/blog/6owpn9zz8zf3nnh3hpsfe02nhbwgcn

Waldun writing about an encounter that 100% never happened. I’m willing to bet this is a truncated masturbatory fantasy — seems like he ended it right before he get sucked off for being a complicated “rogue academic.”

Also, that title, “It Was a Good Discipline.” I’m sure he just read his first Hemingway.

>>16741965
>A punk busker was setting up his guitar but my page was blank.
What the hell do those two things have to do with each other? ahahahaha

>>16741965
>It burned my tongue but I didn’t flinch.
Fucking overdosing with testosterone, holy shit

>>16741965
>He was a punk kid with a leather jacket and uneven chords.
what could this possibly mean?

>>16742007
RC was clearly jealous that people were paying attention to this punk kid, and not his posturing in the café. Pointing out that his guitar playing is rudimentary, and probably at a beginner's level, is his way of coping with it.

>>16741965
>“What do you write in there, though?” She tilted her head.
>“Everything and nothing.” I forced a smile.
stfu bro oh my god

>>16741978
>>16742007
Oh, it's awful. Also, it emphasizes the already clear phoniness of the essay -- what punk rocker is busking outside a cafe?

>>16741965
>Writing’s all the same. When you’re just starting out as a writer, it sounds easy enough. Tell a story and write what you know. But in a few years, once you’ve written a few stories and have read a few decent books, you’ll see how inadequate you are. If you read some of your stories from a few years back, you’ll always feel like shooting yourself, metaphorically. The more you write the more difficult it is to write well. Amateurs think they can pen the perfect paragraph right off the bat. Those with bruises and bumps know how difficult it is just to write an ok sentence.
yessss now that i have acknowledged this i have proven to the reader that i am an experienced, genius author !!!!!!!!!! yesssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>16742023
>>16742007
>>16742021
>You suck! You can't even finger a fucking chord!

>>16741965
>The barista was a short fair-haired girl who liked hiding behind the glassed cabinet of pastries.
>the glassed cabinet of pastries

What kind of shit son of a bitch would use a tactical nuclear device on a small café?

>>16742037
>mfw i step outside my crystal castle

>>16741965
>The first time I came in I remembered her because she had an air of friendliness that never slipped.

Yeah, it's called working in the service industry, you fucking incel.

>>16741965
>https://www.litpublication.com/blog/6owpn9zz8zf3nnh3hpsfe02nhbwgcn
oh my god this is incredible

>noisy steam-machine
what the hell is a steam-machine? Also why did he switch tenses three different times in the first paragraph alone

>A punk busker was setting up his guitar but my page was blank.
what do these two things have to do with each other

>“Yeah. Lousy times.” I said, “This is the fourth.”
>“Fourth day?”
>“Fourth month.” I drank from the cup. It burned my tongue but I didn’t flinch.
lmao this reads like those austistic gym stories that you see on /fit/

>“What do you write in there, though?” She tilted her head.
>“Everything and nothing.” I forced a smile.
jesus christ waldun

>From the lousy opening I had a page of dead prose.
this makes no sense

>It was nicer in that cafe and it was a good discipline.
this makes no sense either

the whole story is laughably bad but holy shit there are some gems in there

>>16742059
Leave him alone he's a kid and he's porlly more talented than youll ever be lol

>>16742066
if he wasnt so pretentious, trying to give writing advice, or larping as an brooding academic then none of us would be making fun of him, I assure you.

>>16742071
Who even is this guy? Honestly just thought it was some random entry blog.

>>16741965
Classic Asian cope and seethe. Right away to comparing himself to the obvious fun-loving white Chad punk outside. He couldn't help but notice the barista's fair hair, and how she's friendly to him, despite that being her job.
He just ends up feeling inadequate and seething all the way out of the establishment.

>>16742071
he's also painfully self-unaware (un-self-aware?)
https://www.litpublication.com/blog/e2yv31ngs0a0d58q7yix1ee2tyyf79
>I am shrouded in what seems to be a profound literary confusion. When a young writer first sets out to write, they are so unaware of their inadequacies that they equate scribbles to masterpieces. Now after a few years of applying myself to the craft, I’m starting to doubt everything that I ever believed about writing.
>Whatever I write needs to be true and raw without any airs of pretension. Sentences that are clear and to the point will form the basis of my prose, as short dialogues will imitate how people talk in real life.
>Unlike philosophical writings where complicated words can masquerade as profound truths, fiction writing tolerates zero fattenings of the turkey with empty stuffing.

>>16742079
youtuber
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FKfqDQk9Bs

he "reads" all this stuff but writes like a retard and claims not to be ESL

>>16742091
desu everything there makes perfect sense

>>16742093
Fucking lmao I should start going to YouTube more often

>>16741965
"I sit and write awray at my prage. Tall white man, uh so strong, so tall, prenis probraby so brig! My nose so brig, so frat, and his so nice!"

Waldun tries to impress a girl with his intelligence for an hour
https://www.litpublication.com/blog/a-pleasant-conversation-with-eliza-from-altercation-magazine

>>16742093
lmao at 2:32 when he says "con artist" and smiles and looks away.

This one is the worst.
http://www.thequirkyinquiry.com/how-to-write-great-prose/

"How to write great prose" by a guy who can't write passable prose.

>>16742093
is that how you pronounce the name of the tractatus in English or is the guy plainly a retard

>>16742123
This dude must have the driest dick of all time

My god, all his advice on writing on his blog is shit! He's done no reading about the technical aspects of writing. It's all just what he feels. It's clear it's just a blog of some guy coping over the fact he sucks at writing.

>>16742154
He literally has an essay called "You're Stupid."
Omfg. I hope for his own sake that this is a genius satire of this type of guy he's come up with.

https://www.litpublication.com/blog/a-bookshop-i-called-home-2019

"Many walk into a place and exclaim: O how I adore this space, without ever realizing that their sense of “loving” the place is but an interweaving of a range of multi-faceted sensations."

Is this guy literally retarded? I'm laughing so hard. "Most people walk into a room and never realize they have senses." Like c'mon, man...

>>16742190
some of the shit he's written has to be a satire like >>16742159 said, because its too good not to be

OOHHHHH SHIT, HE WRITES POETRY TOO
"Read Two Books At Once

Reading is a hitchhike,

wandering from one volume to the next.

There’s time for familiar faces,

at those cosy stops.

Lukewarm whisky and bongo drums,

render a book you read at ease.

But there’s also time for more,

adventures unknown waits afore.

Cry and curse, at plotless plots of Jamie Joyce.

despair and tear, at pentameters of brother Speare.

When you’ve had enough,

return to that cosy stop.

Let the plot engross and stall,

before you embark on another slog."

>>16742197
>Jamie Joyce
>brother Speare

I too want to cash in on the YouTube dark academia bandwagon. Do I need to be a chink twink? Is it okay to know how to use commas? Is facial hair allowed? Do I have to put my dick inside of my own asshole at all times or just when I'm playing pretend as a writer?

I thought he was a lolcow too but if you look into the comments of his "Rogue Academic" video you will find a line of women ready to jump on his dick. I guess this dark academia stuff works on women.

>>16742123
>>16742148
the first minute cements this dude as the voice of the incel generation

>>16742197
Everything almost rhymes but doesn't and it pisses me off.

>>16742207
They're all like ESL indians or 15 year olds...

>>16742197
>lukewarm whiskey
Nigga you drink whiskey at room temp

>>16742197
this cannot be real

>>16742197
>brother Speare
Ah, yes, Billy Speare, of course. And Jamie Joyce, yes. I certainly love "My Big Adventure!" by Jamie Joyce.

>>16742221
it is
https://www.litpublication.com/blog/read-two-books-at-once-a-poem

this nigga is like a /lit/tard parody coming to life.

>>16742233
why do you think we're obsessed with him, anon?

https://www.litpublication.com/blog/that-moment-i-knew-i-was-a-writer

> It was warm and I was an idiot wearing a white shirt and a tie but I felt like a gentleman. I walked past bars and how those people were drunk out of bars. For heaven’s sake, the sun wasn’t even down yet. It’s still looming over the horizon watching over those drunkards going “I’m not dead yet.” They shouldn’t be drunk at that time of the day.

What a fucking insectoid lmao

Ah yes, the greatest english translator of Homer, Robert Fangles.

>>16740421
He's alright. He's genuine.

He needs to work more on his craft, but everybody does.

>>16742262
>Robert Fangles
Oh shit, bro. idk if I wanna meet Mr. Fangles. He sounds like a vampire...

>>16742263
okay mr.morton

>>16742263
lol he's not genuine in the slightest. dude is lost in a delusion. no personality of his own.

>>16742266
I am upset that I got this reference

>>16742266
>mr.morton
Kek'd

>>16742270
It's gonna be a /lit/ inside joke for sure.

>>16742266
>>16742270
>>16742272
I don't get it.

>>16742277
It's only for real fans of Rice Cock Waldun.

>>16742214
You put some ice on it you retard

>>16740421
RCBros..... how can we get The Learned Disguise in the nominations for Nobel Prize?

Can anyone do a vocaroo reading of excerpts from The Learned Disguise? I would love to hear someone reading Mr. Morton, a scholar.

God. This was almost me. It's a good thing I have these two negros I hang around that clowned me for being to over the top.

>>16742351
That's quite a funny experience, how did they clown you to being self aware?

>>16742351
Cool. How much were they?

>>16742341
https://vocaroo.com/1jfhEJFok9sg

Here's my best approximation of what the main character sounds like when he discovers proses and the intricacies of a type writer

>>16742413
>Oy vey! A typewriter!

>>16742413
Bravo!

>>16742420
kek

>>16742290
Maybe if you're an uncultured peon who's never even worn a tweed jacket

>>16742413
fucking kek

>>16742280
>rice cock waldun
my fucking sides

>>16742213
biggest cope of all time
all the aryan girls want asian seed

>>16742517
Go to bed, Chang.

>>16742540
rite roman rant asin semen coursing through their prussy caverns

First year in college I used to introduce myself to girls as a poet. For a few years afterwards this used to keep me up at night, now I find it hilarious. This guy will outgrow the cringe, unless his youtube grift prevents him from conceding to reality.

>>16741590
that pic is me
t. ftm

>>16742648
can i fug ur boipussi?

>>16742648
you're still a woman to me, and i hate women. fuck you

>>16741965
that's the most boring and senseless story i've read this year

>>16741889
it doesnt even look bad. get a bit fitter and your gyno would pass as mad pecs.

>>16742667
fair enough. hrt made me hate women too
>>16742660
gay

>>16742714
it's not gay, homo.

>>16742714
were you a qt tomboy before the kikes brainwashed you?

>>16742732
Anonymoose is asking the real questions.

>>16741658
>average month's salary
>9k

ok nigger

>>16742753
>9k for male tit reduction

you can go to mexico and get it for like 2k maybe. stop being gay and a faggot.

>>16742732
before i started illegally taking 'roids i spoke so little i began stuttering every other phrase despite being eloquent in text kek
havent had a single suicidal thought since the voice change and all that shit kicked in. idk what brings regular trannies to willingly want to become women but female existence is a torture unless you are an attention-loving chick willing to whore yourself out for easy mode life and never be taken seriously

>>16742819
>unless you are an attention-loving chick willing to whore yourself out for easy mode life
that's 100% of women
even you

>>16740720
he self-published

>>16742197
Is this Vogon poetry?

>>16742260
>"I was a scholar at the time"
dude was literally in high school with me lmao. 'scholar' holy fuck

>>16743018
It's erudite meter from RC Waldun himself.
Here is another titled "Bookish Man."

Squatting in a seat,

As I read Bukowski,

Wishing that I was a tougher man,

Than the little wretch I am.
I squint at the taste of whisky,

As those sportsmen drive me mad.

The Romantic Poets make me cringe,

Yet I’m unable to go beyond their wits.
Once at a party there was a blonde,

leaned her head against my chest.

I tensed my frame as I babbled Joyce.

she asked for my number and soon I ran.
Only because I can write,

coupled with old books and lines that rhyme.

Excuses, excuses arised,

for I am not a conventional man.

>>16743032
Did you know you were in the presence of such greatness? It's not often you find a true polymath in the wild.

>>16743033
>I squint at the taste of whisky,
oh yeah? tell me more about how you squint

>>16743039
lmao
c'mon now.
this poem is much better
http://www.thequirkyinquiry.com/mad-at-a-magazine/

he wants to be a white guy so bad

>>16743045
fucking christ
the first line is a fuckup
>My jaws dropped
jaws? how many jaws do you have?
he is ESL confirmed at this point

>>16743050
Someone should tell him to put down his tweed blazer, and pick up a rice paddy hat. He'd probably be much happier as an illiterate chinese rice farmer.

>>16743050
so far i think two of his poems have mentioned him getting pussy from blonde girls
i didn't know white girls loved asians so much

>I'm a pseud without my, little China Boy
>At a used bookshop where's my, little China Boy
>I hear the keys's punching, loud as thunder
>Saw they words crashing down
>I feel a-tragic like I'm R.C. Waldun
>When I look at my China Boy
>I could pretend that proses really meant too much
>When I look at my China Boy

>>16743073
>works of fiction

>>16743045
To begin, he gave me quite a holler:
“Oh, Monsieur Walden, the sweet-rice scholar!”
But my laughter quickly turned to sorrow
Thinking about what he may write tomorrow

I finally found it, the average /lit/izen.

A piece I just started called The Gaping of R.C. Waldun.

"The callow face R.C Waldun looked at me, lacquered with oriental tears, eyes pleading like they’ve never done before. Oh, I have more in store for you, my little polymath. What a nicely-fitted blazer you have on, quite dapper, yes… hmm, and those trousers, my, oh my, what a marvelous taper. Such fashions only fitting for someone as esteemed as you, Mr. Waldun, future Laureate.
Now you may be wondering how we came to this predicament, with young Waldun tied up before me, teary-eyed and terrified. Well, it’s quite a story indeed. See, young Waldun fancies himself a bit of a scholar, a man of words, one whose heart skips a beat when thinking of mahogany-panelled libraries, lined with leatherbounds flashing the richest patinas. I told him of the long and glorious history of the fabled Male Bisexual Writer; how all the greats—Shakespeare, Dante, Wilde, Rimbaud—dabbled in homosexual practices. I told him to truly grasp the reigns of the higher muse, one must be nourished from the nectar of every fruit imaginable. Scour the Earth, scorch it with your desire! Give in! Write like you’ve never done after the life-affirming thrill of neglected carnal desire! For how often do you get to feel something new? He sipped his whiskey and squinted. He told me I had a point. It wasn’t long before I drove three more shots into him, and hurried him home."

i wonder if Quentin was also a victim of /lit/'s homoerotic frustrations

>>16743160
Go away, Q. Don't try to get /lit/ to send you cum tributes again. Fag.

>>16743121
Young Waldun embarked upon his due path
To become a well esteemed polymath.
Compose proses to highlight his genius,
To cope for his small, rice-sized penis.

>>16740780
Yes. He's that annoying pretentious kid who will rant about philosophy because he read Plato's Republic once. Thinks he has so much to say but then he publishes a book and it's the shittiest thing you've ever read.

>>16743191
Poems, stories, the choices were endless!
And thy quest, simple: make white chicks undress.
A knight with some chinks, but words at his side,
He would find the blonde broad and make her—bride.

>>16743234
But incels, trolls, began to wound his pride,
Our Young Waldun considered suicide.
Could his dreams be shattered, useless and crass?
Would he have to live by selling his ass?
Photos in costumes for loving donors
Whose taste for Asians tantalize their boners.

>>16743050

>>16740421
Finish with the Greeks

>>16743251
Tis the fate of our tiny yellow twink.
Thinking on whisky sips and eyes that wink,
Young Waldun’s face fell into lonely hands,
As his Patreon turned to OnlyFans.

>>16743155
most based post itt

>>16743307
oops, "that make eyes wink" would have been better

>>16742517
GOLDEN SEED IMPERIALISM

I don’t really get it. He talks all right. People who can talk good, why don’t they just write down the things that they say?

>>16741889
just do pushups bro

>>16744138
>Mozart
>Moods Bizarre
>wow Arthur it rhymed

>>16744148
Cause he's a pseudo who wants the reader to think he's smart

>>16744138
Does he really think this is how people interact? This is what a middle class autistic that hasn't left his house writes

>>16743307
A typist by pretense alone,
With jaundice hid in flaccid tweed
Enrapturings of eye postpone,
Denying spill of seed

Donations mount, so, too, do tents
Of authors making their debuts,
On tissue scrolls proses invent
As R.C. Waldun flaunts his fay Mantous

>>16741965
His prose is a chore to get through

>>16743121
BRAVO! BRAVO!

ITT: Filtered

The entire point of the book is that he is pretending, it's a Learned Disguise.

>>16741680
This feels like its written by a 16 yo virgin who's read like 3 books

>>16744436
Read his poetry

>>16744138
This is why you need an editor or at least a friend who gives a shit about you.

>>16744138
Did you buy the physical book???

>>16742197
kek, rhyming enough with Joyce

>>16742197
Yeesh. How could someone confidently post this

>>16740482
Harrow ehrhewan

Prease rike and schubschrieeb

>>16744138
From his channel he seems well read. How is he such a disaster of an author? You'd think hed aquire some taste after all that

>>16742197
Theres literally two words that actually rhyme. If he doesn't care about trying to rhyme why are his words so awkward

>>16744833
Your prose (grammar, vocabulary, style) is quite literally a reflection on how much and what you need.

This kid is esl and does not read all the books he makes videos about

>>16742097
yep, but he doesn't apply them to his own writing... WHICH MAKES IT WORSE

>>16741680
>Hey Waldo
>y-yes? I replied, trying not to look down her shirt.
>Yeaah I've just got a couple o' mates around and we're gettin' smashed. Is that cool?
>t-this is Hutchinson's Bookshop, Saz
>oh yeah, yeah whatever. Hey, listen Waldo you wouldn't happen to 'ave any nose poweder on the slyy would you?
>no, no I don't re--
>why don't you run out and get us some coke Waldo
>yeah, go on, her friend said, and get some you big freak then when you get back we can sit around and jerk off to your poetry
>i don't know where to get any, and i-i don't thi--
>I bet youre getting a chubby just thinking about it. Oi, Sophie look Waldos got a chode on

it's actually not bad desu

>>16742262
>I AM A FUCKING CLASSICIST, I LOVE THE ILLIAD

(if you're also a pseud, it's writen iLiad, with just one l)

>>16745076
Based Saz poster

>>16743251

OMG THIS IS PURE GOLD PURE PURE, THE PURER OF THE PUREST GOLD

>>16745076
kek I fucking hate saz

here's his oldest video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvquoDJGMGU
you can hear his accent a lot better i think
ESL confirmed

>>16740720
He's a rape monkey

>>16745619
>think
>ESL confirmed
wow jesus this changes everything how will he ever recover

>>16745635
ok buddy
watch this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENwPlctBIzI
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

>>16745638
I'm not spending a minute of my life watching a larping chinaman

>>16744351
>pseudo

>>16745653
ok fine
in the vid he confirms that english is not his native language tho and that reading for him is very hard because he doesn't understand all the words
at this point i don't think he gets any of what he reads

>>16745681
why does he make video?

>>16745635
>ESL
What does this mean

>>16745736
english second language

>>16745638
this guy man. makes me think, if he can type out a novel or two, why the fuck couldn't I?

gives me hope.

>>16745814
based
do it, anon
make sure to name the jew and insult niggers on every page
don't let literature get pozzed any further than it has

>>16742071
This

>>16740581
false

>>16745818
unironically wanted to write a racist aussie flaneur kek

>>16745956
Jregs a fag but he has self awareneness

Which one of you cheeky bastards did this?

>>16746210
aussies can't be flanneurs, they spend their days surfing banging hot blondes and saying cunt

>>16746560
i hate Australians so god damn much

>literal who poser and booktuber triggers 238 posts by the scum of this board
Another average day on /lit/.

>>16746611
Shut up, Waldun. We're just having fun making fun of you. Reminds us of ourselves when we were younger.

>>16744833
Theres more to good writing than being well read. Being well read doesnt mean you know what exactly constitutes good writing, only that you may know good writing when you see it. I doubt he actively engages with the text beyond its surface level. You have to actually work on your writing, and more.

>>16740421
His real name is, unironically, Robin Wu

>>16741590
Same, I wouldn't wish it upon any other man. You can still get pussy though, it's men who will make fun of you

>>16746932
Based an chang pilled

>>16746611
>100k subs
>literally who

Pick one

>>16746932
His actual name sounds cooler than RC Waldun, he could be a blade runner villain and he chooses to be a gay boy

>>16746602
Kek

He's living the nightmare bros

>be into lit
>become well read
>have a taste in lit
>decide to write a novel and be part of what you love
>be absolutely talentless
>everything you write is awful

I know this is me if i wrote bros

>>16742413
Kek It's just like a /lit/ book.

>>16746954
His pen name is what chinamen think when they think of white names

>>16746998
Chad Bukowsi

>>16747071
What a CHAD

>>16743155
kek best efforpost ive seen in a while

>>16741614
lmao if you're not willing to drop 8K to make yourself fuckable then you were NEVER going to get a girl otherwise, it has nothing to do with your body and everything to do with your malformed mind. Seethe more mutant.

>>16741889
If this is you I feel bad for you. Not because of your Gyno which is p much non-existent but your intense autism. I looked exactly like that in HS and was having sex. Plus, when you workout and/or get surgery its p much not a big deal, but again that doesn't matter at all since you can easily get puss looking like that.

If all else fails find Jewish/arthoe or theater girls they'll fuck literally anything that walks. Not a joke.

>>16747071
based

>>16741964
100% self-esteem, like it's not even mildly an issue. I would go to a therapist and tell them you have low self-esteem and body dismorphia/body image issues. I mean this unironically and say it because I want to help you anon, the fact that you think others might be trolling when telling you that's not that bad points to you having some serious mental blocks to confront. Understand the way I and prob most others see that you in that pic compared to how you see yourself is akin to anorexic girls thinking they're too fat when they're skinny af. Hope you get help and it all gets better man, cheers!

this thread is already shit so I'm going to ask a question in the vein of the bitch tits poster
I'm really in love with this awesome girl and have been told I'm fairly handsome (not just like "my mom said I'm handsome so I must be" kinda thing) and our personalities really gel. However I'm a consistent cutter and have attempted suicide twice before and in general have trust/intimacy issues since I was molested as a kid. I'm really anxious about fucking things up if I confessed my feelings and I know this is ways off but if we were to get intimate and she saw the scars on my arms (I usually wear long sleeves) then that would just freak her out and make her dislike me. Is that a likely outcome or am I being obtuse? I've fucked up other possible relationships in the past out of this fear but haven't been able to confide in anyone my fears.

>>16747242
How trash is your genetic that you need 8k to be fuckable

>>16742122
laughed

>>16747340
hey anon, go to /adv next time. but since we're here.
1. confess your feelings to her, immediately. no need for big gestures. at this point, you're just wasting your time.
2. if she reciprocates, tell her you need to talk about something serious. explain your situation and, most of all, explain your motivation to stop being a cutter and the steps you're taking to get better. DO NOT EXPECT HER TO PITY YOU. you need to come off as sincere and willing to change, not just as a liability she has to take care of. you talk about your issue before she sees the scars on your arms or whatever.
3. there's no 3. fuck off and do something and quit being a whiny faggot. best of luck to you.

>>16747340
Firstly, I would not confess my love, that's not how human beings act. With building relationships its not like a romance novel flirt and when they like you ask them out. No 'confessing' no 'omg you're just like... the most beutiful girl, and like, well I was thinking about us...' She has already tuned out and dried up. Ask if you can take her out, boom simple. Go get drinks or coffee idk w/e see how it goes.

Also most girls won't be turned away by those sorts of things. When you're baging that sort of thing just doesn't come up, no one will notice likely busy with other shit. Also, it's not so much that scars or signs of past-trauma make anyone dislike you, consider from an (admittedly autistic) evolutionary perspective. Someone who is mentally not all together is not a good selection for a mate, now that's relative so maybe you're the best she can get or other people she knows are worse. The point is it's not actually the physical evidence of cutting that would turn her away from you but the almost invisible telltale signs of instability/low confidence that sort of thing.
Fucking up relationships out of fear is a shitty thing, it's sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy, my suggestion is easier said than done ofc but to do whatever you can to overcome these things, and definitely don't dump emotional baggage onto woman you like.

>>16747397
yeah pro not the best but hey. You don't get to pick that so its spend 8K to be fuckable or not and frankly if you have the internet and know-how to post on lit then you can scrounge up 8K doing whatever. What else are you going to spend money on? Buy less video games, a worse graphics card, work more, use uber and doordash less and you can make it happen. Sucks you won't buy your first car for a while and it will take even longer to get a house if you want to down the line but it's probably worth it.

>>16747627
I don't care about cars, vidya or being fuckable. All this vanity shit is gay and cringe.

>>16747709
cool. think like this until you're 30. it's cool.

>>16745076
kek

>>16741935
>>16741917
>>16747296
not him but this kind of thing is worse desu, it means I'm the problem

>>16747340
do not make her think you're weak
that's number one
women see all things stemming from or resembling weakness as utterly disgusting to them
sometimes they conflate past struggles with being presently weak
make her understand that you have overcome your past
also idk if this will work but maybe buy a dermaroller to see if it removes the scars

>>16741829
Meh, they probably read them like I would when I was in HS. Try really hard for the first 20 or so pages, realize I'm not understanding shit, it's boring and I'm moving at a snail's pace, speed read through the rest of the book with minimal comprehension just so I can say I read it.

>>16740471
>proses
Lol he lurks /lit/

>>16740421
Is this guy just the Jacob Collier of /lit/?

>>16741889
Imagine having bitch tits and a concave chest. Lmao

Genuinely who the fuck is this and why is his prose so bad and why is this thread getting so many replies
>>16746953
Kill yourself zoomer

>>16742819
>thinking becoming a man will bring you happiness
Man here, since birth even. I’ve got some bad news for you

>>16742097
He's fucking lecturing, writing an essay and masking it as fiction. Where's the story in those paragraphs?

>>16748154
>Jacob Collier
I didn't know the guy, had to google him, but he seems to be like a prodigy or something, something that this gook clearly is not.

>>16742091
He sounds like an anime protagonist narrating over a montage

>>16742197
what the fuck is this shit?
>no rhyme, no meter, no rhythm
>it doesn't make sense
is he the new rupi kapur?

>>16742197
> plotless plots

You don't say...

>>16740526
Ive never read a manga in my damn life before but my cousin had that 'Lesbian Experience w Loneliness' book at her house and it took me like half an hour to get through. I thought it was nice. The author has a talent for representing emotions and anxieties via images, and I found the narrator endearing. It's about a depressed Japanese girl who cant get laid so she goes and sees a prostitute.

>>16740421
His IQ is at least 220. And I'm being super conservative.

>>16747404
>>16747607
thanks guys, that's all very encouraging. I don't intend to "confess" or whatever, that was probably improper wording on my part, but I just mean if the situation arises or the opportunity comes up to say I like her, tho idk even know how that would happen since I've never done it before. And I definitely don't want to give her any emotional baggage, so if things did miraculously get that far I'd probably only tell her if she noticed or asked about the cuts.
Anyhow thanks, I know we're just disembodied text blurbs chatting across an anonymous image form but your advice does mean a lot to me

>>16747340
>>16747404


Do some expressive writing in the vein of James Pennebaker. Super useful.

And just ask her out to do something. Go to a park or something. Don't do movies. That's not a great first date idea since you won't really talk to one another.

>>16742197
>Jamie Joyce.
>brother Speare.
please fucking lord christ tell me he does not mean James Joyce and Shakespeare
please fucking lord christ tell me he didn't call Shakespeare "brother Speare"

>>16749037
he did, he didnt even write it like >brother 'speare or anything, he capitalized 'Speare' like it was a full last name

>>16749037
>not calling him Brother Speare
Pleb. When you publish an erudite piece of literary work, you are now part of the great tradition of the Engrish Canon. You win the right to call your fellow craftsmen brother, no matter what century they resided in.

>>16747340
Just be yourself (kill yourself)

>>16749055
>*R.C looks to the sky, to Brother Speare and Jamie Joyce
>We'll take care of the heavens, you, R.C, take care of the Canon.
>Yes, brothers. I will write the proses.

>>16749072
go back to /b/, you edgy faggot

>>16749358
Make me redditor

>>16749386
i know you're only here because the whole "cyberbullying asian kids" thing gets you off, but at the end of the day /lit/ is for talking about books
if you want to be faggot you seriously need to go back to /b/

>>16749436
calm down, chang!

>>16749436
CHING CHONG WANG WONG UN OOOOYYYYYYYUUUOOOOOOHHHH WATANG DIN WALLA BALLA DANG DENG DONG

>>16749436
I think you are lost faggot

>>16749453
>>16749467
>>16749475
i'm not even a chink
it's just gross to think that someone could write that they attempted suicide before and some immature faggots can tell them that they should kill themselves
i don't know if you guys actually read books, but if you do you should have learnt to be empathetic from it

>>16749486
Ok Chang. Not reading that whiny faggot this is not a blog.

>>16749486
>someone could write that they attempted suicide before
Who wrote that? lol
And boohooo.

>>16749486
i don't know if you guys actually read books, but if you do you should have learnt to be empathetic from it

>>16747340
Hey anon, conversation derailed a bit, I didn't read it all and just jumped on the chink bullying.

Now that I've read your post I feel like shit, anon. Don't give up bro, other anons gave some really good advice so there's really not that much to add. Either way, you'll have friends here too, and I hope we'll bully some chinks together :)

>>16749486
>NOOOOORUUUUU NO BRULLY MMEEEEEE

>>16749486
Why would I have empathy for someone who announces they tried to commit suicide? Victim envy is disgusting.

>>16740573
Imagine larp as the Harry Potter Hogwarts faculty but somehow more gay and cringe.

>china bad
>larping as a preschool bully is part of the great racialist awakening

>>16749738
instead of pretending to do magic they pretend to read books
>>16749743
china is bad, tho
would you really want those insects to take over the west and rape all the white women?

>>16749748
I'd rather live among Asians than /pol/niggers by a longshot. Talk about lack of empathy and insectoid traits

>>16749755
t. Chang

>>16749768
I thought I was a Jewish tranny!

>>16749772
Are you upset that you such at writing like Rice Cock Waldun?

>>16749755
>I'd rather live among chinks than /pol/niggers by a longshot
uhhhhhh have fun??

>>16749755
>Talk about lack of empathy and insectoid traits
Chang you ARE an insect. You invented nothing. You created nothing. You are a all consuming niggersect. You are not human. You are the eternal non thinking NPC. You are the willing Globalist Slave monkey nigger race of insect bug niggers. Just look at this chinksect chimp >>16749808.

>>16749808
What a disgusting bugnigger.