/lit/ - Literature

>be me
>edging for hours looking at asian twink porn
>desire to fuck a 20 year old asian twink is torturous
>cant take it anymore
>go to barnes and noble fully erect, wide-eyed
>ask the woman at the counter if they have the Learned Disguise by RC Waldun
>I need to hold his words in my hands
>says she doesn't know who that is
>tell the bitch that i'll get her fired
>berate her for 5 minutes in front of a full line
>tell her i need to cum and i need my asian twink book RIGHT NOW
>get escorted out by the police
>currently in the hospital rn waiting to get admitted to the mental ward

>>16740607
>waiting to get admitted to the mental ward
keg

>>16740593
>Go to bookshop
>Book I was looking for wasn't there
>Leave without buying anything
It was pretty harrowing desu

>in local used bookstore
>was actually able to find some really good stuff
>armful of books ready to check out
>qt black girl working register
>nooooooo this can't be happening
>before i can slip out of line and put the books back she's calling "next" and smiling right at me
>spill books onto the counter and drop a few bills as i flip through them (I don't use a wallet) because I'm a klutz
>she slowly starts ringing everything up, making small talk about each book
>"Oh what's this one about? Have you read the author before? Oh I didn't realize we had this guy. Oh is this philosophy? I don't know much about that. are you a philosophy student?"
>stuttering and mumbling my replies
>"man it's been real a long day. luckily I get off soon."
>prolonged pause as i stare her hands while she holds the books and receipt
>can feel her staring at me
>finally hands the books to me
>"well, see you later!"
>realize halfway on my drive back what was going on
>consider an hero
>masturbate to ebony porn while thinking about her instead
>never go back to that bookstore
>it closed down a few months later
probably going to masturbate to black girls again tonight now that i reminded myself of it. i hate my existence and deserve the lonely death i'm getting.

>>16740717
i hate that shit
especially if the clerk says "have a nice day" or whatever
like bitch i know you loathe me and you want to torture me
i know you think i'm stealing from you
god, how hellish
especially if the clerk is a girl
fuck, i hate women

>>16740726
relationships (especially with women) are massively overrated and not worth the trouble. She doesn't deserve you, anon, neither does any woman.

>>16740607
based retard checking into the ward so he can read all day, unironically recommend it if you have decent healthcare insurance

>Walk into cool hipster book store.
>Begin a conversation with cute art hoe girl behind the counter.
>Notice she's wearing a marxist badge on her jacket.
>Tell her to go fuck herself because people like her are ruining this country.
>Everyone in store starts clapping.
>I crowd surf them out the door & to my car.
>Put on shadilay & drive into the sunset.

>>16740753

>>16740753
>people like her are ruining this country.
>marxist
i don't get all the hate for marxists
i don't get why you would hate someone for their economic ideas
social ones, however, i understand
if you like immigration and accepting refuges and giving rights to niggers then you need to be taken outside and shot

>>16740593
>Walk into bookstore with childlike glee, hoping to find something interesting
>Walk by all the shelves filled with non-classics of the Western Canon
>Realize once more that they are worthless
>Go to Classics section and Philosophy section
>Realize that I have read them, or wish to listen to the audiobook, or read it untranslated, and that there is nothing worth buying here
>Leave store disappointed
Happens at regular intervals of a couple months.

>>16740761
Marxism is more than an economic theory.
Marxism is
>an economic theory
>a philosophy of history
>a revolutionary programme

>>16740761

>>16740761
>i dont get why you would hate someone who wants to destroy your country through revolution and put you and everyone you care about through hell

>>16740593
>go to large chain bookstore
>fuck they've moved everything around again
>spend 10 minutes looking for the poetry section (the old poetry section was replaced by a display of collectible action figures from various scifi franchies and animated shows for adults)
>eventually find it, have to sort through shelf after shelf of rupi kaur imitators and anthologies of modern verse
>qt brunette girl approaches
>"can I help you find anything?"
>desperately want to say no thanks but she's too adorable
>d-do you have the collected works of John Keats?
>her face brightens and she tugs on her sleeve
>"Keats is one of my favorite poets! I think we have him right here. I really love his autumn ode"
>hands me the book while chattering about how Keats used conventional imagery of the seasons to describe the inevitable melancholy passing of all things
>tell her I prefer his sonnet on Chapman's Homer because it echoes how I feel when reading Keats' own work and so conveys the glories of artistic expression across the canon
>she gives me her number, completely unprompted, so we can "discuss his poems some more"
>stammer something about truth and beauty that makes her laugh and tug on her sleeve again
>check out, drive home, take the book out of the bag
>selected works of John Keats
>mfw

I saw Dr. Jordan Peterson at a bookstore in Toronto yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for a signature on my copy of Maps of Meaning or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen copies of the Gulag Archipelago towering over his head without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the books and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent the bloody post-modernists from starving 6 million Ukrainians to death,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that makes any sense. After she scanned each book and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by raving on about how he's "the Jungian archetypal prophet, roughly speaking" and how she "needs to do the damn reading and sort herself out" ,

>>16740791

>>16740820
kek

I went to a chapters in the mall when I was waiting for the lads to pick me up and there was a young woman just fucking sitting on the floor talking up the entire isle that I wanted to look through

>>16740726
top kek

>>16740847
did you fuck on her butt and cum in her ass and eat her balls and lick her feet and suck her pussy raw?

>>16740830
Kek

>>16740921
no, I looked at the bit of the isle she wasn't blocking then left and completely forgot there was stuff in other isles that I wanted to look at.

fucking whore

>be 16
>obsessed with Star Wars Legends
>go to Barnes and Noble every week to see if there’s anything new
>go one week, and there’s a homeless guy sleeping in the Star Wars aisle
>huge dude, probably 250 pounds and over 6 feet tall
>decide it’s not worth the trouble and start leaving
>cute employee recognizes me and asks why I’m leaving without buying anything
>tell her about the homeless guy
>she says that she can deal with it
>I say that it’s no big deal, but she insists
>I follow her to the guy
>she tells him that he needs to get up and leave
>he refuses to get up for about 5 minutes
>he finally gets up
>while he leaves, cute girl turns to me and remarks on how weird of a guy he was
>he turns around
>punches her
>sprints out of the store
He ended up breaking her nose. I didn’t go back to that store for 6 months after the fact. When I finally went back, the girl wasn’t working there anymore.

>>16740996
>there’s a homeless guy sleeping in the Star Wars aisle
fucking based starwars fan hobo
>punches her
FUCKING BASED WOMAN BEATER
>sprints out of the store
fucking based sprinter and boxer triathlete hobo

>go to book store
>go up to qt cashier
>nows my chance to impress her
>ask if they carry heidegger
>"who?"
fuck women

>>16740607
As you do.

>>16740820
Kek funniest thing on this board in a while

part of me holds out hope that I'll run into a girl and strike up a wonderful conversation at a bookstore

despite the fact that I don't even think I've exchanged a single word with a stranger on a bookstore trip

>go to huge local bookstore to get book for uni
>filled with most onions have ever seen
>lindi west under staff pics
>philosophy section closed becauase of covid
>autistic guy yelling at employee for comic books
>see pic related at checkout

>>16741686
>philosophy section closed becauase of covid
nigga 4 real?

>>16740761
>Here we observe the Marxist attempt to win over the /pol/tard demographic

>>16741692
only sections open were "literature" and comics and the area with the stupid knick knacks and kids stuff. literally the stupidest shit ever.

>>16741701
huge new bookstores suck cock
small used bookstores are comfy as fuck
i hope online bookstores kill off huge new bookstores but it looks like it'll kill small used ones too

>>16741378

>>16740593
>Be in kinokuniya
>everything is at least $20 overpriced
>tfw can't get my pseud rocks off shopping online

This happened a few months ago

>be me get recs for interesting authors and books here, download PDFs and listen to audio books and even get some from Amazon
>get fairy well versed in Philosophy and am generally now able to enjoy reading since government schooling ruined that for me by forcefeeding me horribly uninteresting garbage.
>decide to drop by barnes & noble, haven't been there since I was a kid
>as I'm driving up to to the parking lot for a place to park see "BLACK LIVES MATTER!" in writing on the back of some shitty SUV takes my attention and disgust
>slam on my breaks
>almost hit an old woman cause I was distracted
>roll down my window and apologize
>park
>get out of my car
>halfway to the entrance and I realize I forgot my mask and they'll freak out and call the cops if I don't have it
>get mask
>lets try this again
>see some disgusting faggot with a scarf, glasses and a latte walking up to the entrance
>enter
>it's all women
>not a single male
>look at books surrounding me
>all complete trash
>expecting some sort of Philosophy or history section
>nothing but poppy garbage from the last five years
>quickly stroll through the aisles looking for a decent section
>literally all garbage
>find "religion"
>"living under jihad"
>"the diary of anne frank"
>"how Judaism built america"
>"st Augustine's life lessons"
>"anne of green gables"
>"Hitler's religion: twisted beliefs of the third reich"
>"pride and prejudice"
>nope out and try again
>thinking how much I hate modernity as I walk through this twisted hellscape
>get to the back
>are you fucking kidding me
>an entire kids toy section decked out with legos and everything
>start backing away
>turn around
>AN ENTIRE FUCKING WALL OF FUNKO POP DOLLS THIRTY FEET LONG
>AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
>make straight for the exit
>apparently they have some cafe where faggots can drink their lattes
>get to my car
>open /lit/ to calm myself, browse for 10 minutes
>go get some bacon and fill up gas
>go home.

Holy shit, I thought reading was supposed to make people smart and appeal to smart people. Is this really the best our society can do in the name of books and literature? I was in there for like two minutes and I almost died.

Also p.s. I love you guys.

>>16742200
Theres nothing wrong with Anne of Green Gables if you want something to read to your kids

That one time I was reading Oliver Twist in the bathroom so loudly the store employees thought I was masturbating.

>I'm still banned from it.

>>16742219
BUT HOW IN THE FUCK IS THAT RELIGION?

I MEAN I GET THEY CAN'T JUST PUT EVOLA ON THE SHELF BUT HOLY SHIT ALL I SAW WAS PUKE!

>>16742236
Why were you masturbating to Oliver Twist, you fucking pedophile

>>16742249
Why not? Are you some kind of faggot or something?

>be me
>do you have any michel who-le-becke?
The guy just blinked at me for a second
He didnt even correct me

>>16740737
Cope. Many women are wonderful.

>>16742200
>>open /lit/ to calm myself, browse for 10 minutes
>phoneposter

> be me two years ago
> had to ask a couple at the counter to buy a "18+" book for me because i was 17 and didnt carry my passport anyway
> it was overpriced
god i hate bookstores. when corona started i came there to cough all over the obnoxious bestselling aisles
(that day i discovered a bookinist row next to the fagstore, havent bought an unused book in years)

>>16740791
I CANT SNEED

>>16740761
>yeah i just want to kill all the booooogaywoise which is people who disagree with me but im not a bad person bro

>>16740593
He died one day and he went down below. Now this is all the tune that he can play-

>>16740717
Went to book store
It was closed due to covid
Left

>>16740820
>tell her I prefer his sonnet on Chapman's Homer because it echoes how I feel when reading Keats' own work and so conveys the glories of artistic expression across the canon
do you guys really prepare snappy opinions like that to use in conversation? Also keked, should meet her and slap her in the face with the copy.

>be gifted a voucher
>go to bookshop
>nagivate straight to the few shelves that are worthwhile
>pass through masses looking at the latest bestseller detective novel or some cook book of yogic-middle eastern fusion recipes for the whole family or something
>pick out a volume of Byung-Chul Han
>looks interesting, happy with my find
>go to check out
>cashier seems to be familiar with Han
>Oh, I hadn't heard of this one, is this a new one of his?
>sperg out and stutter some remarks about his take on Zen Buddhism
>thank you
>leave
>didn't use the voucher

>>16742200
>new in town
>check out bookstore titled "literature, philosophy, theology"
>hmm let's see
>walls full of the philosophical canon
>most of the western canon and more
>important works are available in multiple editions, expensive hardcovers, several languages etc.
>fucking Bottom's dream in German and English, Goethe in Chinese, complete edition of Heidegger's works taking up an entire shelf and other /lit/memes
>buy some softcovers: Pindar, Baudelaire, Plotinus, ...
It's not worth it though, just buy used unless you want to get scammed by publishers

>>16742284
That's cause he ain't no Holla-back clerk

>>16743333
sick get

>>16743336
heh