/lit/ - Literature

first for zyzz

>>16678153
based

I am starting to think that our civilization is headed to a downward spiral and that I probably won't be able to live the same kind of life as my parents or grand parents. I hope the end times will be entertaining though.

>>16678130
LITTLE

My blog got a surge of readers all of the sudden. I suspect it's the Eastern Europeans.

A bisexual is a man who first was attracted to women and latter in life found men attractive. Never the opposite because male lust is the rational decision.

>>16678208
I sometimes wonder if guys lust over me or just heavily dislike me. It seems like so many guys at work are uncomfortable as hell around me (am the young twinky guy of the office that doesn't say much), some look over often, I'm not sure what to make of it.

God, I want a cute girl to beat me up!

>>16678130

The sun is dim the sky is cold
Its a mercy for the old yet still the crow is getting bold

Summer slayed with heat and strokes
Those who still had folks
Now its winter's turn to kill
Those who are from hunger ill

We see them every day
Attention we don't pay
And suddenly they're gone
Peacefully withdrawn

I'll light a candle in their name
And I will accept my shame
For often I have judged them
And rarely have I helped them

As weather turns to daggers, we must not judge the beggers
Sleeping in the cold
Who make the ravens bold

digital troughs inundated with algae are eaten from

I've been dozing off more than usual lately. It's really annoying whenever I'm trying to watch a movie or read a book; I just feel tired suddenly and my brain becomes full of fog and unable to process anything. It frustrates me to no end. I go to bed at the same time as usual so I don't know what's going on. Hopefully this will end soon.

I am frozen. I am like a wax sculpture, not living yet somehow still rotting from the inside

Just watched The Lighthouse. It's honestly great, who knew Robert Pattinson could be a serious actor?
On a related note, why the hate for A24 Pictures on /tv/? They're a small independent studio that is willing to release movies with unconventional premises and artistic bents, even if some of them turn out to be shit. So why the dismissive "slow chill bone burn" meme?

>>16678826
Bro ive been addicted to sleep lately bro I CANT STOP AAAHHH

>>16678854
Yeah, Lighthouse is completely based, be sure to check out Bait by Mark Jenkin, it's a tiny bit similar and extremely based
>who knew Robert Pattinson could be a serious actor?
Dude have you even seen Cosmopolis, Maps to the Stars, Damsel, Good Time, High Life and Devil All The Time?

>>16678922
Yeah. It actually reminded me of Antichrist because its about two people being in an isolated location for a long period of time, while they slowly go crazy and weird shit starts happening and one of them kills the other , right down to both starring Dafoe.
I'm planning on seeing Good Time. Don't know about the rest. Might give Cosmopolis a try but the last Cronenberg film I saw was eXistenZ and that one was pretty disappointing.

>>16678952
*forgot to add that The Lighthouse is better than Antichrist because its not half as pretentious as that one.

>be genetic lottery chad
>hook up with thots
>be "good listener" and seem interested in them as a person
>they get excited and tell their girlfriends this time is special, no more pump and dump for them, they found a chad with a heart of gold
>ghost them after 3rd date
>wait until they text me a bunch (they always do)
>tell them i'm gay now
>tell them my time with them "helped me come to this decision" and i can't thank them enough for helping me find who i really am
>don't explain further
>almost 50% reply back "lol?" as their first message
>over 80% keep sending confused angry messages every few hours/days
>never reply
>already repeating process with new thot
>mfw i recently moved out of north end to minimize chance i will ever run into one by accident
>mfw still dating north end girls

Pakistan 8, Mexico 59, 200 in Senegal, 17 in Vietnam,

There has been close to 300 confirmed deaths in the third world in the last 24 hours.

Mexico mass grave, African immigrants shipwreck, Vietnam landslide and Pakistan school bombing.

I know it's over a large population, but the way they go out is remarkable.

>>16679480
Your point being...?

I now only look for people who lie less than others. The search for those who don't lie beared no fruit

>>16679658
Everything is a lie

>>16679707
even ur post lie! :OOOO

>>16678177
That ship sailed in the 70s and 80s

>>16678310
You are less than 2% of the countries population, so 98% of the people who stare at you are not doing it for any positive reason

>>16678854
Is that the one where an infant washes up on his island and his newly wed wife decides to keep it despite them knowing the family it belongs to?

>>16679516
He was asked what’s on his mind he doesn’t need to make a point for you bitch

>>16678130
Just had a thought that maybe we are literally devolving from higher beings. I know it sounds schizo but think about it like this, our life has one trajectory, birth to death, our only goal in life is tro reproduce, giving a linear progression onward from us. This resembles a something linear as does time this is like the first dimension. Death is the absence of anything, it is literally nothing as far as we know, there are no other aspects to this, death resembles the 0th dimension. Now this is already descending what is to say that we have not already been descending from something higher already, I guess we'll never really know. Crazy thought though.

>>16679366
holy based

Dating an ESL from another country has really liberated me linguistically. She is completely fluent, but the knowledge that we can from different backgrounds makes me far less anxious when I speak. I find myself saying things to her that I've never been able so say to a woman before in my life, and I say it with total ease. It is so liberating because if I receive a negative reaction over something I say (and I haven't so far) I can chalk up to cultural and linguistic misunderstanding. Of course, the not so hidden truth here is that this freedom was always available to me but I had always inhibited myself. Her ESL status is a convenient placebo allowing me to speak freely.

realised that even the ancients must have realized that we are literally mud: we are wet dust. From the dust the plants are nurtured, and from them we are. And that they could see the difference between the dust that moves, that has animal life, and that which does not

>>16679480
and few in France.

I'm already missing the time when I was younger, and US hegemony was unquestioned, and you didn't even have to think about the arbitrary, localist demands of other regimes. It's just fucking ugly to watch nations like China or India exert cultural or ethnic chauvinism over shit like Taiwan or Kashmir.

Or was it just as ugly on their end, to watch America wave its own big-dick chauvinism over the world's faces for as long as most people today have been alive?

>>16679935

>Concerning the condition of the sons of men, God tests them, that they may see that they themselves are like animals.” For what happens to the sons of men also happens to animals; one thing befalls them: as one dies, so dies the other. Surely, they all have one breath; man has no advantage over animals, for all is vanity. All go to one place: all are from the dust, and all return to dust. Who knows the spirit of the sons of men, which goes upward, and the spirit of the animal, which goes down to the earth? So I perceived that nothing is better than that a man should rejoice in his own works, for that is his heritage. For who can bring him to see what will happen after him?

Ecclesiastes 3

Haven't even begun writing an essay I've had weeks to work on and which must be submitted tomorrow. It's just so tiresome, all of it.

considering traveling to Jordan to study arabic. everything is going to shit, I have no idea how to make a living in any way whatsoever but if I did this I could probably become fluent in a year, and I have enough money stowed away. Everything is truly going to shit here, I have no idea how I am supposed to make a living. I can either walk around here being confused about it until the money runs out or do something

Struggling with a post-concussion headache, made worse by going to the gym— a stupid idea in hindsight. Also struggling with having no goal. I kept a philosophical blog going for a few months during the peak of lockdown, but I feel like I’ve done all I can with my limited knowledge. I really should read Kant and the German Idealists, but I just can’t be fucked.

>>16680762
Try Porphyry, Plotinus, Proclus, Damascius.

>>16680097
Mainland China has been "exerting cultural or ethnic chauvinism over" Taiwan since the 40s, at least.

>>16678130
I'm from a shitty brazillian neighbourhood, where crime and violence is rampant. I always thought that I would be happier once a specific level of financial security was attained. Moving abroad became manageable and I'm currently living in a small dutch village, but I still feel just as bad as when I was in Bananaland.

How the fuck do I fix this, lads?

>>16678826
I know that exact feeling. I set aside an hour to read and then just end up napping

if you have dry red wine around, you can make it way cozier by simmering it with a few cinnamon sticks, a spoonful of honey, a couple of cloves, and a sliced up orange. this is a really nice fall/winter beverage to sip while you read. i am making some tonight. stay comfy, anons!

>>16680920
Based

most people are like vermin

AAAAAAH

It seems that while I have not been writing so much as I once had, my recent writing has improved tenfold. It's a shame I haven't had the chance to read nor write as much as I would like to: I feel like I could create something more than mediocre. This hasn't been the first time it has crossed my mind either; I want to write. I even came up with some basic premises. Something like that, people might look at even; now, whatever I write, I'm essentially writing to a wall. It is miserable, mostly when I write of what has been on my mind; I wonder if there is something vicariously folly about it- writing to a screen or piece of paper, rather than talking to someone.
At moments it feels like it all comes together. I'll tell myself it's all a part of the big plan, I can see things working out, and I can see the beauty of the moment. Inversely, there are times when it all feels awry, and I can't just pass over it. Most interestingly is when both coincide- just today, I wanted to be alone while being lonely.
Even writing this, what the hell is this? To whom am I writing? Why am I writing? Why do I seem, conflicted? What will come of this? What should I do? And all these questions seem to lead to anything but absolutes. Verily, at least some of us are hodgepodge brained creatures - but I can't control what I feel and really can't do a whole lot but wait. I crave adventure, learning, feeling, experiencing- and I'm stuck. Something primal tells me this is the next step, my answer, at least for now. And so while I wait, even in good times now, I feel it all around, it's constant; just hanging out with friends, I felt disconnected, I wondered, how much better could things be? I look at the qualia of all things around me, and all I can say is, "man..."
I wonder how I will feel after writing all this—time for some tea and a movie.

>>16682220
>my recent writing has improved tenfold
must have really sucked then because this shit was unreadable: stop; with; the pretentious ;punctuation

>>16682256
How would you write it? I like my own style.

>>16682278
If you're liking what you write, change it.

>tfw have to put literature and writing on the backburner for a year or so because i need to get my ass into a better career so i can pay my fucking medical bills
>in pain every day and going to be like this for at least another year and a half

>all because of something that happened to me when i was a child
If I could strangle my parents to death without going to prison I would. Next best thing is to never look at them for the rest of my life. I hope they die soon.

i just got a blowjob

>>16682220
Grug no write much lately. Yet Grug writing improve confounded. It shame Grug no read no write as much as could. Perhaps Grug could make something more than mediocre. Grug no think this first time either. Grug want write. Grug come up with idea himself. Grug idea might even be good as Morton's Grug think. Yet Grug miserable, because Grug write with no point. Grug feel word on paper useless compared to word on ear.

When Grug feels it all together. Grug tell self it part of Shabakha's plan. Grug see cave paintings in head and see beauty in head painting. But sometime Grug feel bad and can't not feel bad-

Grug tired reading river of head thought and cavemanning it. Grug don't want to read your meandering.

>>16682405
Would definitely read Grug's autobio.

>>16682404
how nice of your dad.

R.C Waldun's oriental boipuss is on my mind rn.

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rD8GcJdDJhA

fuck yes i finally found this song i was trying to remember for the longest time, i was browsing apple music aimlessly waiting for new shit at midnight and i finally fucking found it, blast from the past, really takes me back to 2015

>>16678130
Looking for a word, perhaps of Indian origan, that an anon brought up a year or more ago.
This picture in the OP is an example of an art style, or category called ______. There was also a word for the more pleasant sort of art. Who knows the word(s)?

>>16678177
It sure is. We need to change everything in the next ten years. Get carbon emissions down to zero? For the sake of people being born just then?
We can only do our best

>>16678698
Go find one at a gym... oh yeah, covid.

>>16679658
I don’t lie to anyone but backstabbing supervisors and the managers who love them.

>>16682404
Congrats

>>16682486
Five years seems like yesterday to me.

I am debating whether or not to tell my parents that it's okay if they get another dog. I'm 22, have high functioning aspergers, live at home, my dog Samson was my only real friend in my whole life and we lost him VERY recently in a very traumatic way, well before his time should have come.

I wish I was dead every day and basically wake up just to eat and mope for a few hours before going back to sleep. My parents have said outright they think another dog would be best for everyone to heal (3 siblings as well, but they were nowhere near as close to him as I was). I don't ever want another dog because Samson was my best friend and I could never replace him, and even though I know I would come to love another dog, it would never be HIM. I'm also terrified of calling a new dog his name. My parents and I have clear lines of communication, they know I'm super fucking depressed and I don't want them to be all fucked up over it. Today I think I've noticed that they've been arguing a bit more than usual and it worries me. Or maybe they aren't and I'm only noticing a normal amount of disagreement because I'm depressed? I don't fucking know. Just miss my dog.

I'm becoming convinced that habitual use of passive entertainment actively worsens your ability to think, and that we all ought to read at least an hour a day to offset the harm it does, and to get back into the mindset of rationality and clear thinking that the written word promotes so well. I've noticed a strong correlation between the amount of time I spend reading and thinking/reflecting on what I read, and my ability to reflect as an individual and make good use of abstract thought.

>>16678130
I have jacked off in over a week and I don't feel horny. I don't think it's low test - I'm quite muscular and strong, have a strong jaw, chest hair, can grow a beard if I wanted etc. Idk, any other anons know this feel? I'm a lot more curious than concerned desu. I actually the serenity of not needing to coom.

>>16678854
Based kino watcher

>>16678854
the hate is probably warrented by the people that shill a24 nonstop, claiming every movie they shit out is some hidden gem. most are complete shit, and only see popularity/praise because of hack film-school cinematographers that want to be christopher doyle filming chinks with dutch angles. they are adept at tricking english BAs that write rotten tomato reviews into thinking that a medium shot through a chain link fence signifies brilliance and originality. these critics are also suckers for the humanist angle so often played out in a24 films. robert egg is the best you ever get with a24, and even then he's mostly second rate.

>>16682540
get a dog, it will help

>>16683038
*haven't

I would celebrate Halloween this year but unfortunately I've nothing to do other than maybe watch a few movies or read some short stories, but what's the point. I can't wait for springtime already.

>>16678854
now watch the devil all the time and good time. robert pattinson is excellent. also never go on /tv/

The sad (happy?) irreversibility of the end of mankind is so evident, that, for someone to believe in the slightest glimmer of hope, can only be noticed with the greatest displeasure and incomprehension. In almost all instances of our social life, the psychological roots of our self-destrucion are grinning through the perforated garment of our (superficial) philanthropy. An unrequited greeting in some godforsaken street finds its positive psychological equivalent on the battlefield: in the "fire!" gesture of the artillery captain, who has nothing better in mind but the destruction of his enemy (who is himself). The coldness between people is a phenomenon inherent to human nature and is only slightly (insignificantly) affected by external changes of economic and political character.

never posted in one of these before. phone keyboard is precarious. breakdown vs regenetive. why do i always come back to lit? i wonder what you all do in your regular life, what you do for money, what ambitions you all have. I imagine most of you are American. I am Australian.

women are beautiful, yet these lyrics come to mind

That’s the reason why I fuck with nobody
Cause it‘s easier to just catch your body
But I woke up in the morning with nobody
Then I try to forgot about it

I guess deep-fried in my soul is a cynic. does cynisism come from undiagnosed childhood trauma? is it a disease?

and then it comes back to everything in balance.

what is your balance?

I'm drunk and I want to talk. if anyone wants to catch my liquid confidence enquire my discord

I went from only liking lolis to only liking milfs.
Well, at least I can fuck some old prostitute.

>>16682521
Can you ever stop not being dumb? There's more favorable news about climate change now than there has been in 30 years.

Ignore the shit that makes the headlines, like the wildfires and the hurricanes. Dig into the weeds a bit. I thought we were fucked 12 or 10 years ago. But now I know we aren't. We're gonna be fine. Everything's coming together, against my own pessimism.

>>16683435
You are asking water to not be wet

>>16683435
>>16683695
>Can you ever stop not being dumb?
bros... what are you saying?

>>16678130
Holy fuck, you guys will not believe the fucking nightmare I had last night. I actually woke up swinging.

--I watched, desperate to have my actions validated, and, for a moment, it seemed to have worked- the baby chick looked like... well, a baby bird. And then it became clear that it had no head. We took the rest of the eggs into the courtyard of a series of apartment buildings.

The bird eggs kept hatching, but all fucked up and grotesque. Over and over all these fucked up, mutilated baby birds. Me, my brother and some kids I didn't know where hunched over the nest, looking for any eggs that could have healthy chicks inside.

Then I found one that was warm- pulsing, you know, like a heartbeat. I picked it up and brought it away from the others. Cracks started to appear in the shell, and thick, red liquid began to ooze through the cracks. I wedged my thumbnail in and pried off a piece of shell- the whole egg was filled with blood, as thick as egg-yolk, and I dug through the muck for the pulsing chick. It was just a heart. A single, pumping heart, sitting in my hand. I dumped it into a trash can and pulled out used tissues to wipe up the blood.

Disgusted and ashamed, I slunk back to the others, but all the eggs were empty, and all the other chicks were dead and hideous. We left them there, and entered one of the apartment buildings, heading for a friend I might or might not've known.

On one of the landings was a terrarium, with a brown boa in it. As I watched it, my brother and the others walked up to it too. The boa fucking lost it. It began attacking the glass, trying to get at my brother, bashing its snout until there were smears of blood on the glass, and still it wouldn't stop.

>>16681227
Do you have good friends where you live? Financial security is important, but emotional support of other people is even more essential for happiness.

>>16682404
How deep did she take it?

>>16683743
I should probably add that it wasn't at that point that I woke up swinging. I woke up swinging at another point:
I was hunched over, a knife clutched in one hand. A monster loomed at my back. Move, I screamed at myself. Just fucking move! You have a knife! Are you going to just die here without doing anything because you were too much of a pussy to even move!? If you're going to die, fight back! Fight back! Swing the knife! Move! Move! Move! Fucking MOVE YOU PUSSY! And then I swung around, screaming, striking out for the monster- sweeping my arm through the air as I thrashed awake, a scream stuck in my throat.

I don't think any country is really ready for a conventional war, but not only is mine not ready for one, but it talks itself up like it's ready for two of them back-to-back. All this talk of being the 'greatest fighting force on Earth' and the like is great for morale and retention numbers, maybe, but it doesn't matter if training is bottom-of-the-barrel box-checking and equipment is often outdated, in a state of disrepair for weeks or months on end, and problems sprout like dandelions in grass on every installation, year after year. So what if we operate the world's most advanced weapons? Troops these days, in my neck of the woods anyway, don't even practice the drills necessary to keep them alive and effective in combat, much less those that will keep them so if anything goes wrong. We're not airborne or light or special forces, yes, and units such as ours haven't gone on a combat rotation in years, true, but those are just more reasons to maintain skills rather than grow rusty. If, say, all the rear-echelon types had to convoy across a hazardous stretch of terrain, as they have not so long ago, and they were to come into contact, are they well-trained enough to react to such contact and repel an enemy assault? I don't believe so, and in fact I believe it is just those rear-echelon types who would become targets in a future conflict with a nation similar to ours. Can armored vehicle crewmen in our brigades react to an improved explosive device detonating beneath their feet, repel an ambush, establish security? Perhaps, but they will learn how to do so by losing blood rather than through shouted commands in a training zone, because we do not drill such things and have not in some time. There is never a question of what to do if the vehicle goes down; it is assumed that it will not, and therein lies great danger. Could troops to our left and right maintain security whilst crossing a river or other body of water? Why, they would say, send Marines to do it, or, why would we have to do so if we will only ever rotate to dusty, dry nations such as Afghanistan year after year? And yet that is not all. A minority of soldiers have the personal strength to lift a wounded comrade with his kit and weapon to safety, or carry him a significant distance, yet expect others to be capable of the same should they themselves become disabled during an engagement. Senior officials claim our fighting force is the most lethal in history, yet units train marksmanship perhaps once or twice a year, and then pat themselves on the back for it. Exercises are fantasies where we have air superiority all the time, the enemy won't move after standing to face us, and those besides us have never heard of a MANPAD or night vision devices. It's a farce designed to produce snappy photos and moto posters.
We will learn these lessons, but I'm afraid we will do so at the hands of our enemies, and pay blood for tuition.

>>16678130
why does breaking expensive stuff help relieve stress?
I just destroyed a ps2 for no reason and it made me feel more happy, does it have to do with getting rid of stuff.

>>16684050
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gi54QFCv6_o&ab_channel=samaelalejandro

>>16678130
I am so good at writing some times, holy shit.

>>16678130
i think i've big brained the matrix and finally understand it better than any other living human, even the wachowskis

>>16684050
Shitty coping mechanism for manchildren.

>>16684050
it's about feeling that you have the power to excercise your will upon your environment
you were also probably constantly told as a kid to be careful with things and felt stifled

>>16684050
You're a manchild that's why.

Why are all these fedoraguys so mad about that teacher getting beheaded in France? If he had said 'N' in class and then antifa shot him in the face on his way home from work, they would all say he deserved and the world is better for having one less fascist. So, showing a sexual explicit cartoon of the prophet is like 100x worse than saying 'N' to muslims, so why the outrage?

>>16684487
One is idealogical the other is religious.

>>16683743
I think we all have those dreams on occasion which are so thoroughly unpleasant, it forces us to wonder if there's something disgusting in our subconscious of which we're not aware.

Blowing your nose is a magic spell that prevents headaches. Once you master nose blowing you unlock the sinus clear technique where you know how to apply just enough pressure in your blow that your sinuses start emptying in addition to your basic nose canal. That's the real headache preventer. I save myself a whole day of misery by blowing my nose every morning. I can't believe I ever blew my nose less. It's as if I used to not take shits and just live with the pain.

Spooky scary skeletons
Send shivers down your spine
Shrieking skulls will shock your soul
Seal your doom tonight
Spooky scary skeletons
Speak with such a screech
You'll shake and shudder in surprise
When you hear these zombies shriek
We're so sorry skeletons
You're so misunderstood
You only want to socialize
But I don't think we should
Cause spooky scary skeletons
Shout startling shrilly screams
They'll sneak from their sarcophagus
And just won't leave you be
Spirits supernatural
Are shy whats all the fuss
But bags of bones seem so unsafe
It's semi-serious!
Spooky scary skeletons
Are silly all the same
They'll smile and scrabble slowly by
And drive you so insane
Sticks and stones will break your bones
They seldom let you snooze
Spooky scary skeletons
Will wake you with a boo!

>>16684922
This is a pretty good song actually

>>16683720
He’s saying so e guy fixed climate change and there’s no reason to slow down our carbon emissions now. The increased temperatures will be going back down to normal.
Any evidence was withheld of course because he’s a big dumbass and doesn’t even know how double negatives work.

I want to fuck a rat. I want to eat a moth. I want suck the penis of dying old dog.

loud ass girlfriend always yelling so loud gotta tell her to keep it the fuck down loud ass bitch take it down a notch shouty

>>16678130
Society must pay.

>>16683762
I'm married, moved there with my wife.

imaginary self-worth

I feel like I don't care about my physical body as much as I have to. Outside structures attract me much more.

bored.
I wish I was a magician planning to raid a goblin camp with my adventurer bros.

>>16678130
Doggie!!!

Is reading about economics the quickest way to become a doomer?

I'm looking at a book called "Kicking Away the Ladder", and the cover portrays a rich guy standing on a pillar while kicking away a ladder some poor fella tries to climb. Guess which guy I am.

My friends think I have a gf and I'm hiding it from them. I don't know if I should be flattered, because I don't have and haven't had one for 3 years now.

I was wondering when you faggots were finally going to rear your heads

>he celebrates americuckistani "holidays"

>>16683435
>But now I know we aren't. We're gonna be fine. Everything's coming together, against my own pessimism.
Climate change was unironically the least of our worries and this post is wrong.

She's far more in love with me than I've ever been with her, and that doesn't mean that I didn't or don't love her, it's just that she takes it to another level. It gives me a power over her that makes me uncomfortable. It's always made me feel like I'm lying to her in the relationship, because she's about 10 levels deeper.
I want a relationship of equals rather than one where the girl is so madly in love she'd do anything I asked of her. I want to have to work at a relationship. I want someone who respects themselves enough that I have to do more than the absolute bare minimum to stay with them. (and if I'm being completely honest, I want someone who I can talk to about more intellectual things without them just gushing about how smart I am).
So I'm breaking up with her tomorrow

>>16687310
if shes not fat give me her number

I just coomed to venuses, lolis, traps and even 3DPD
All 45 tabs of it. I know I'm preparing for NoNut November but what the fuck is wrong with me?

Last two weeks i have only gotten 6 hours of sleep every 30 hours of being awake. My brain won’t turn off and as a result i can’t even masturbate my sex drive is killed. Used to edge for 6 hours a day to hentai now can’t even get the urge to cum. I think i’m in store for a stroke or something because my brain feels heavy from being so exhausted.

>look up anything on WebMD because I can't afford to go to the doctor
>have a job
>it doesn't give me insurance
>stress about medical problems when anything happens because can't afford to see a doctor
>every website says to see your doctor if you have any problem

GODDAMN IT I HATE THIS FUCKING COUNTRY WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS SHITHOLE NOT HAVE HEALTHCARE LIKE ALMOST EVERY OTHER GODDAMN COUNTRY IT'S SERIOUSLY BULLSHIT

Just saw Midsommar today. Pretty disappointing to say the least. The movie just rips off too much from older horror films that it just seems riddled with clichés to be taken seriously.
The characters are all whiny douches so I didn't care that they died.
Pretty meh overall.

>>16687430
I remember thinking about the one burger peeing on the sacred ancestor tree and then saying "so what?" Do Americans really?

>>16687072
Certainly better then a country that doesn't even have the freedom to post anything dissident to the status quo, let alone celebrate anything

>>16687414
Kek. Imagine being this much of a whiny bitch. You live in the best country on Earth. And guess what, bitch, nothing is free. You're not entitled to healthcare, you have to pay for it like everyone else.

>>16687435
That part was funny. Especially because it was done by that actor that has resting bitchface syndrome.

I enjoy creative pursuits like drawing and writing, but I can't manage this desire for attention and validation. It all must be justified as generating some tangible value outside of myself. I'm not free to just have fun or pursue this vague notion of personal enrichment. The world must move, even if only the smallest amount, for my action to exist.

>>16687414
If I lived in America I'd aim at hospital jobs. I've stumbled on a post where a guy got a penis pump that usually costs 120k because his wife is a nurse at the hospital that does the procedure.

>>16687451
imagine getting a penis pump while some people can't cure coofing without getting into debt

>>16687457
His wife is a coomer who would rather increase her hubbiy's penis by a few inches than save lives. All women are whores.

>>16687462
he had a total dysfunction and loss of feeling, the only thing he can do is pump it up and stick it in,

>>16687475
Damn, I completely misjudged her. That woman must be a saint to stay with her husband even thought his dick doesn't work anymore.

>>16687441
No one says anything about free healthcare, you mong. Everyone on the planet except for retarded neoliberals here know it isn't free healthcare and that you pay for it. The problem is that the costs aren't inflated for fucking everything and taxes actually do something beyond go to either corporate welfare or an already overbloated military budget so some asshole Raytheon stock holder can get more money per bomb dropped on a wedding halfway across the world.

It's bullshit. Fuck this country.

>>16687495
But we have the highest GDP in the world. That's what counts.

>>16687486
She turned him into a human dildo.

>>16687547
Umm sweaty, this is 2020. Women are finally liberated and we can express our sexuality. For too long men have objectified us. Now it’s time we return the favor ;)

>>16687310
>>16687382
Two men of different standards.

>>16678130
Any books about the extrems ergonomics / man-machine interactions could reach ? I have this idea about the evolution of music consumption, coupled with progress in AI : there's people out there who listen to some kind of music or podcast non-stop, sometime even while they sleep (rain or sound, bineural shit). Continuous stream of sound. For now, people have to conscioulsy choose which things to listen as they go through their days. Exemple : When I'm depressed I'd try to listen to happy music / motivational speeches to get a grip on myself. Endlessly surfing online, I chose the next music to listen or next video to watch according to my mood. But for how long will we waste energy/time making this choice, when algorithms could soon, by monitoring us, tailor the perfect sequence of content ? Taking our brainwaves into account through a personnaly trained deep learning algorithm, letting it pick the next sound doesn't sound that crazy. It is already what youtube is doing with video. A mood regulator algorithm, which use music or sounds to guide your state of mind to a relative and carefully measured peace. With the progress of IA music generation, stream of distinct musical pieces could be fuse into continuous sonic layers evolving coupled to your mind experiences.
I don't know where to go from here, kind of automated coping with life by diving permanently into a personnalised musical environnement. Training a machine learning algorithm over someone brainwaves to perform basic interfacing is already a thing. I think a lot of people would be interested by that. I find it scary, to imagine where this homeostatic fusion could lead. This is sonic ergonomics push to its limit.
It might not seem big presented as such, but because the futur of our consciousness seems unseparable from the future of man/machines interaction, this is a first very real, very fast coming step toward the human psyche being catch into a cybernetic feedback loop, using artificial sensations as mood regulator.

>>16687414
Just sign up for Obamacare you bum. If you're that poor the subsidies cover all the premiums. It still won't cover every time your hypochondriac ass has a panic attack and shows up at the ER to waste everyone's time, but if you actually get hurt it will be covered.

>>16687495
>so some asshole Raytheon stock holder can get more money per bomb dropped on a wedding halfway across the world

You say that, yet liberals are absolutely seething that Trump wouldn't commit to a war in Syria.

Is there really anything wrong with dating any woman who's over your country's age of consent?

Everybody under the sun knows that we start finding people attractive when they're teenagers. This isn't pedo shit, this is the fact that, particularly for women, all their secondary sex characteristics kick in between 12 and 15, and only get accentuated more, usually, later into their teens. Is there really anything wrong with finding teenagers sexually attractive?

And, for that matter, as long as you're obeying the law, and it's a consensual relationship, why can't you date someone younger than you? Even substantially younger? Even marrying one of them. As long as it's a sincere, honest relationship, and you have no intention of hurting anyone, is there really a problem with it?

I'm a fool. A fool!

>>16678130
We weren't meant for the internet. It has the same effect on modern populations that alcohol had on Native America

I drank a can of dollar store ice coffee, and my stomach was ok for like a half hour, but I just felt something.

>>16687825
If you limit yourself to small communities, then it can be ok
Unhealthy overexposure has disastrous consequences

>>16687438
>amerishart inevitably mentions "freedom" at some point

>>16687881
Moderation is a false myth.

I abhor niggers, I really do. But I cannot deny the fact that their women's bodies are the closest thing in reality to hentai, which I worship. It's true. Such fertile body proportions, such irresistible collections of fats in the thighs and the abdomen. Each stroke of my cock to the motion of their bouncing asses videos is a delight. I dislike their monkey attitudes, but every moan in any porn video they're in they sounded so utterly seductive. Sweet-submissive moans, pained-annoyed moans, even masculine sheboon-like growlings, they're all exquisitely boner inducing to hear, whether they realize it or not. Perhaps they don't since they're dumb niggers. But their soft, lustful bodies are like a reservoir of estrogen, even for the men. Yes, even for the males they frequently have round, thick jiggling asses that I find myself searching for videos of large black asses to jack off to, more often than any other races. But I feel no remorse with this. I do not care. They are worth just as much as discarded condoms, merely a tool for Man's sexual amusements. Niggers can have all my cum but they will never have me acknowledge them as equals

It's not even funny how you make me feel even though we are both conscious of the true nature of our relationship.

Last time, for our group project, your lips were stained red under your mask. The three hours we all spent together were the only event at which you met people that day. Why would you wear a lipstick if there's no man but me to see it?

Why would you look at me for so long, just awaiting to be noticed every time I'm sitted next to you ?

Why would you respond in an instant to every message I send you, sulking that it's been so long since the last one I wrote to you?

We can't be together. It's an impossibility. You're not even the first-- It's not the first time this cruel shit repeat itself. I never told you but there's been two girls before you. The first one promised to marry me after my relationship ends. The second accepted that our fates couldn't tangle and let everything go.

I can't handle it. It's madness. I can feel it. I can feel it even when it's more than just a feeling-- when it's fate itself woving and manifesting. It's as if some devil pulled some strings and enjoyed my struggle as I plow through literal fields of women that I could've married if we met celibate. Fate is laughing as she sends me exceptional women that reciprocate my attraction and women normal enough at the same time to make me understand the true significance of their apparition.

It's like I'm speed running a fucking date Sim game except that every six months I begin a new main girl route by inadvertance. The worst thing is that I'm sure those girls will marry another man or disappear the day I become celibate again.

The game is rigged, fuck this shit, I'm not playing. I will only pursue my significant other. I won't change my mind.

>>16688092
seek help

>>16683871
very interesting post anon, any reading recs?

>>16687899
No, temperance is a virtue.
Should have started with the Greeks anon

test

>>16688644
High or low T?

Visage of Death;
Let thoughts conspire,
The wings all wrought and taut with ire...

Below the ice,
himself opposed.
The finale:
the sum of tears supposed.

The blade was drawn,
and so it cut,
warm blood dripped down
his cold dead strut,

and to his feet
it pooled and sat,
a moment unto itself at that.

Accrued resent,
the selfish type,
to overdose on thoughts and tripe,

and steel and blood.
He drowned within,
at last, he saw his only kin.
A girl, not tall, but short and thin.

The wings of grief
bound his daughter to him.

How can you justify thinking?

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnNmYG7jq7s

holy shit i never knew biggie freestyled over of one of mugg's sickest beats, this shit gave me chills

Throwing myself completely into my work has proven to be the best cure-all stave for the deficiencies and holes in my life. It is this one point of movement, one area where inertia gives way to smooth flow and where time becomes my own This is my invisible empire, staffed and attended to by my thoughts, and in this realm my will is absolute.
Perhaps this is all a cope and a rationalization, but it gets me to be productive. I am not in any position where the outside world can let me thrive. The outside world is not in a position where it can let me thrive.

>>16688672
...

>>16688721
Coping is good, as long as it doesn't harm you. Be proud you filled the gaps, and keep on keeping on Anon. I care about you.

>>16688794
"Cope" used derogatorily is a really stupid and morally decrepit notion, but I'm posting this on 4chan. But thanks for your words, kind stranger.

Gas pains. Toilet. Hours of agony. Ginger and honey tea. Never tried it before. Taking a sip now. Tastes really bad. Yuck.

Will you choose darkness?

Or the light?

>>16688976
>>16688984
These are examples of it. >>16682521
Anyone know what I mean?

You know you're onto something when you start typing something into Google and its auto-suggest feature cuts short.

take the quagmire toiletpill

>>16688899
You may be allergic to gluten if you a gassy nigga

Carbs can make my ass a destroyer

>>16687891
Keep seething euromutt

Is there such a thing as a euroshart

>>16689172
I'm already unironically allergic to soi. I've been having gas pains for a few weeks. I've asked a medical student I know and she said maybe IBS. It's usually annoying but manageable but tonight was just something else.

>keep intro breezy
>ok i will
>spend 6 hours writing breezy intro
>stop
>read it
>it's somehow 10 pages of me explaining plato
>paper has nothing to do with plato

Being original and unique is really hard.

>>16688572
Sure
>lurk /k/ for 10 years
>Once an Eagle - Anton Myrer
>The Other Side of the Mountain: Mujahideen Tactics in the Soviet-Afghan War - Lester W. Grau and Ali Ahmed Jalali
>TC 3-21.76 - Army Publishing Directorate
>this whole thread >>>/k/47068414
>an enlistment with the NATO member of your choice
>lots more but I'm kinda falling asleep

Hey lads I just wrote my first attempt at a horror/ghost story, it’s only 5 pages. Could I get some critique on how it came out and did I even get a proper atmosphere?

https://pastebin.com/WP5UCcTb

dead niggas

Would you consider it possible for somebody to have died even if they are still alive? A person is more than their body, aren't they? They're a collection of emotions, thoughts, personalities, etc. If everything that makes them "them" is destroyed or utterly and irrevocably changed, then the person you knew could be considered to have died, right?

>>16689736
I have died many times and I'll die many more. Who I am. Who I want to be. Who I end up as. All different? Maybe. All the same, really.

>other people are an opportunity to be graceful

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeoooooooooooooooooooooo weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeooooooooooooooooooo
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I want to start my own race. I mean that I want to have my own race of me's. I want to have five children. I'm searching for a region for us to congregate. I'm thinking Alaska.

What you do and what you want to do – are always the same.

>>16689683
A little wordy. For example:
>I reached her house and knocked on her door,
for an unexplainable reason my nerves were on edge as
>I waited for her to open it
but I pushed those stray feelings aside
>and waited for her to open the door.
>When she finally opened the door

>>16678130
Ich hatte alles und schaute es mir an und sagte: "Dies ist ein größeres Gefängnis, als ich gerade herausgekommen bin."

The facades look unkempt. It would be too expensive to paint the walls periodically. People get used to it and fade out the surfaces after a while. The windows are material and color accents. Only rarely do you get a glimpse into the lives of the residents. If you get very close to the outside wall, you can see the structure of the stones and plaster. Seen from close up, almost everything is varied and artistic in a natural way. But this has little to do with the beauty of the apartment building, as the overall picture of the object is lost in the close-up. Again, the idea that a house is made up of thousands and thousands of stones is beautiful.

>>16690242

>>16690253
Wer ist das?

>>16678130
>Halloween
wtf is that?

>>16690184
kek

>>16678130
im drinking Coke and listening to Erik Satie and I feel wonderful

BROS WHAT THE FUCK THERE'S A SKELETON DANCING IN THE BOTTOM RIGHT CORNER OF MY SCREEN!

I've been trying to get a picture lately of who I appear to be from outside my own self-perception of myself. It sounds so simple when you write it down like that, but the rabbit hole goes pretty deep. It's been a long time since I've tried to do this, having been battling illness for the better part of a decade. I've spent a hell of a lot of time alone, including some years where I could go months without speaking a word. Along the way I stopped looking for reflections of myself in the way I saw others treating me. In retrospect I realize that I was overly reliant on it, that my sense of self became so insecure in the wake of my departure from the army that I just "had" to look for it there. I left a world I was comfortable in, where everything was either a peg or a hole, which I understood. The stiff causality of the whole apparatus is simplified and made unambiguous -- by and for people like me, I truly do suspect.

Things were right or wrong in the army and I got used to that. When I became a civilian, I lost all that structure, and my diffusion was probably inevitable from that point. I became dependent on simplicity to be able to know where I stood with someone, how I was doing, what I needed to do, and who I was. I think when I left my mind still searched for these kinds of nonverbal cues but there weren't really any. Civilians don't wear uniforms or have rank. Everything in the civilian world is an insinuation, I've learned. The rich don't walk around wearing their bank account balance; they separate themselves from it by a degree by wearing an expensive suit, driving a nice car. A civilian doesn't tell you "no," they beat around the bush and perform every trick they have in order to give you the bare minimum of commitment to their words -- the smallest, most reversible, most easily fled-from and amended-to position as they can possibly manage. The civilian wants to dance on the bleeding fucking edge of cowardice in his daily interactions. I hate the way the civilian world is set up. I really do. The West is decrepit with swindlers and gladhands selling falsity to the birds, and with it I want to live in nothing more than a terse homeostasis.

I'm feeling more and more genuinely free from it. I'm inhabiting my headspace comfortably now. It feels like I'm waking up from a long nap, and rediscovering my own fundamental nature as I yawn and stretch; my own nature as I myself experience it, independently of others. It's like a little spark I'm blowing on gently, and it feels fucking great.

Sean Connery is dead bros. Fuck this shitty year.

Are there anons who made it through the top 100 lists? At least 90/100 of all the major/regular books on these lists?
Did it have an impact on you, did it change you, what were your expectations, were they justified?
Maybe I will have to wait at least five, maybe 10-15 years, when enough anons will have finished it - and I might be one of them by then at the current rate as well.

>>16678698
I touched myself to this exact same artwork by Artgerm when I was thirteen. Glad I'm not the only one who found her hot. Such a crazy time that was for me lmao

>>16690694
Following these charts is a bad idea imo, literature should be a personal journey.

>>16690630
Kobe and his daughter, Chadwick Boseman, Little Richard, Eddie Van Halen, Ian Holm, Peter Green and now Sean Connery.
Yet another one bites the dust.

Should I go or should I stay?

>>16690857
You should go read Fantômas.

>>16690694
I've read around 20 books from the didn't even liked half of it.

Happy Halloween, /lit/izens. I wrote a big edgy.

"Notice the long geometry of the grey room it's dark skies and shadowy corners. Stricken and cold the bars of the dormitory form the coffin. Cemetery lights and merciless fog, blankets of ash choke the young, the thickets and bushes miserable and lifeless. Awakened ghost, emerge from the soul, the still bond, the barrier with thin ice separating the two cold worlds. Notice the ascension of being and the hands prepare to receive the mind of the soul departed. Notice the hungering silence readying to devour the glass orb of life. The tree is to bare witness and sustain the transfer. Judgment withheld in duty for the departed by its own hand accelerates into still unbeing, the coldest grace, from autumn to winter and back again. I see you weary horror. The jaws gape at your coming. Silver saliva from that fountain unknown thirsts, let the flesh be eternally eviscerated and absorbed in its unquenchable hunger. Ye pagan sinner, ye mote of miserable dust. How the hatred of the cosmic bearer of black scales does descend upon ye, wretch. The cell is centered around the machine which spins and ravages shallow bones. Clinging to the walls weak and blind dust eating ghouls lament. Embrace the end to torture and submit now to the teeth of the murderous cold. Bravery is cowardice and violence is peace. Terrible is the future, the brutal gremlin architects, vile archons, devilish manufacturers of the machine and it's pipes. Dive deep into the underdark of misery and find the door of placidity. Ye wretched ghoul your suicide is the last mercy of the blind God. Leviathan's walls grow dark and encompass the psychic rape and sorrow, the curse of the deepest order. Let the horns of the sightless one guide thy misery into seemless dark and heed the imps and daggers no longer. Horror is the last and only chapter. The lodge is cold and empty."

>>16690603
As a sailor just starting his career in the Navy, I'll think about your words. What is interesting about reading it though, is the way you start out self-conscious and by the end are fully confident as if the act of writing and the stream of consciousness acted like a type of meditation and emboldened your perspective.

English is my second language and it seems i can't read books in english anymore. Every time I start reading a book in english it's like my mind is going crazy and tired at the same time. I have this feeling of missing things and that i'll never be able to understand english well. Fuck this shit

>>16678130
discord.gg/FRDhEG4

I'm getting tired of how over zealous my mom and my sister are.

>>16678130
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ilnld23DmX4

>>16691037
Just try not to get institutionalized. You really don't want to find yourself empathizing strongly with fucking convicts. I don't know enough about the Navy to speak on its culture, but good luck all the same. When I was a private, my NCOs wanted to break me, and if they didn't, combat did. Try to avoid that too.

I am an animal. I am a fucking FILTH

I, naked soul, lost lamb, paired-not, lost child
freefalling

new meme: taking my girlfriends kid trick or treating

The halloween styling on this site is fun but it makes the site completely unreadable

>>16691519
You can turn it off.

imagine voting

>>16691088
Same thing happened to me when that Greek Orthodox priest got blasted by an Islamist in France earlier. I was trying to read the tweets, and I was just like it shouldn't be this hard to read tweets. I think my over all cognition is declining due to coof lockdowns and huffing mask air for hours at a time.

I hate all this talk of civil war and I hate the idiocy that has brought us here. I want nothing to do with any of it and I want nothing to do with any of you. Don't get me involved in your petty politics, your stupid politicians, your insane culture war values. Don't talk to me about democrats or republicans. I want nothing to do with you, I hate how you all think, you're all wrong, and I refuse to get involved in what is beneath me, which is this entire country at this moment in time.

i was turned down by the gym QT. in a perverse sort of way, im glad it turned out that way. then i can say i gave it a shot and move on. if she were to say yes, that would have opened a whole can of worms im not sure i was actually prepared to open. now i can rightfully avoid further investment and effort.
i thought i would be more hung up on it. and that isnt to say i look back on the rejection with glee. but somehow, it didnt feel like that big of a deal. part of me says it was good to step out of your comfort zone, the other part of me is glad that i was rejected because it halted my need to continue to step out of my comfort zone.
i just wanted to blog and get this off my chest. now if only i didnt have to see her again.

>>16691922
Imagine thinking you're doing something principled by not voting. Either way you're still under the boot, may as well try to make sure it doesn't have cleats on it

>>16692137
>he thinks he can be outside of it
Nothing short of total war, bitch. You're already a player, but you refuse to see it

At least i can always kill myself.

I have a strange story with a woman. I have written about it here many times. I told her that I admire her, that I believe she has a beautiful heart. I need to know what she is thinking. I might marry this woman one day, she suggested a visit and I believe it was for this purpose, to guage eachother for a possible marriage. It was for her to suggest, so I am sure that her suggesting it meant something. We live far away from eachother, meeting is not easy. Then I think she got cold feet. So now I have plainly, directly stated how I see these things, and that I need her to be as direct with me. Her part of the world sleeps right now, I will not have a response until tomorrow. It might become a long night. This is one of the first times in my life when I have felt like a man. I have been clear with her. Earlier I was more boyish, trying too hard. But from the moment she told me she wants to meet something changed. Now that I know she likes me too, everything changes. Now it becomes the real question: is this the woman I marry? And this is one of the biggest if not the biggest decision of my life. And I feel up to what that decision demands of me. If we meet and she is not who I hoped, if something happens that causes me to hesitate, then I will back out. I am ready to be a man who enters into all that that will entail, with honesty, with sincerity, with the confidence to decide for myself and to expect and demand the same honesty and sincerity in return.

Maybe it was a passing feeling on her part. Maybe she was drunk and spoke too soon. Maybe a few months from now we are married. Whichever it is, I am happy that I was brought to this point. I feel as though my whole outlook on relationships has changed, and as though I have grown tremendously. I can only thank God for this gift, and hope that it will stay with me.

>>16692306
don't

Just had my last coom before NoNut November. I hope you had have prepared yourselves, it's going to be a tough one this year since we're all locked up home!

>>16689736
I think so
I think that happened to me
did you also do drugs you shouldn't have?

Realized the one point of poetry is to remove to the blockages that grammar creates to letting your thoughts flow out:

Holloween
In my room
The sky look exactly the same as it does every cold evening
I'm inclined to think theres something special about it
There isn't
and I refuse to stare at it and feel meloncholy

Wanted to steal marijuana from parents closet
They were outside on the driveway, I saw them from the bay window
The parents of my sisters friends had arrived

In the closet I'm reminded of my nights at 16
I feel like doing it again

There will be nothing to see at the park tonight
And no one will come up to talk to me

Feel like going further than I did when I was 16
Sister's friends are underneath my high window
I hear them

I could make a living
Drop out of real life
Leave reality on a mix of drugs
I would enjoy it very much
There would be a point when I stop enjoying it
And then what

does it feel to anyone else like most people here don't really care about literature? so many OPs are just completely retarded and seem to have no real regard for the topic, its depressing

I'm watching The Thing (1982) and I'm astounded how well it holds up. Imagine if this was done in CGI. It would laughable today. The whole framing concept of a parasitic space creature assimilating the residents of an arctic research base is such a nifty idea too.

Don't want to get ahead of myself but I think my dick may be back to working normal

>>16680097
>Or was it just as ugly on their end, to watch America wave its own big-dick chauvinism over the world's faces for as long as most people today have been alive?
Yeah, pretty much.

>>16693596
I agree The Thing (1982) is great. Scared the shit out of me as a kid in the 80s. It's based on some Lovecraft shit from the arctic explorer days. If you dig The Thing, check out Shivers (1975). It's like Alien (1979) and The Thing but with social messages that are highly relevant today. One about the decadent hedonism of post-60s culture, and also academic ideology/bio-research going horribly wrong. Check it out.

>>16680097
The American hegemony only lasted for like 20 years. It was nice while it lasted, but it was hardly the natural order of things.

>>16693596
I agree The Thing (1982) is great. Scared the shit out of me as a kid in the 80s. If you dig The Thing, check out Shivers (1975). It's like Alien (1979) and The Thing but with social messages that are highly relevant today. One about the decadent hedonism of post-60s culture, and also academic ideology/bio-research going horribly wrong. Check it out.

I have no political identity, all these years lurking /lit/ to see if I could find something to call my own have done me no good.
If I come across as a "conservative", it's just my cynicism speaking, and the fact that it's easier to oppose ideas than to believe in them.
Overall I'm just pessimistic and disgusted by people and the world. Can't wait to finish my graduation so I can live on my farm and prepare for collapse.

I have no political identity, all these years lurking /lit/ to see if I could find something to call my own have done me no good.
If I come across as a "conservative", it's just my cynicism speaking, and the fact that it's easier to oppose ideas than to believe in them.
Overall I'm just pessimistic and disgusted by people and the world. Can't wait to finish my graduation so I can live on my farm and prepare for collapse.

>>16690798
How old are you now?

>>16691922
Imagine being an antisemite in the year 12020

>>16692281
Naw. They’re gonna have cleats on ‘em. Time to organize.

I just voted for the first time in my life. Now I see why your friends are always pressuring you to vote. It's not because it makes a difference, but because you get a big dopamine hit. Now I can't for the next election so I can vooote more! The local stuff does matter though. I spent like an hour researching the school board candidates, and tried to smack down any sneaky tax increases.

>>16690798
>>16693868
Never mind. Since the pic was originally posted in 2014 and you were 13 at the time, 2020-2014=6, 13+6=19 years old. Based Zoomer coomer.

What is a monster?

I'm so goddamn tired of everything. The world just gets worse and worse and worse every single day, I don't have any way to fix it, and I can't even lash out at the people who deserve it. I can't even talk about my constant anger without alienating people. The only place I have to vent on a daily basis is here, the biggest concentration of the aforementioned "people who deserve it" I can think of, and when I do I get harassed, shit out, provoked, made angrier and angrier until I just want to throw my laptop out a window, grab a baseball bat and go to town on everyone i see making the world a worse place

>>16694026
Are you always that angry or does it come in phases?

>>16694064
it comes every time I think about the state of the world or the people making it this way, and then I keep stewing in it until I get distracted

I think I came up with a joke.

Who do you tell a person has been hanged? His necks of kin.

My grandma just has a stroke and was sent to palliative care. She is the only person that I have ever loved and I feel emotionally empty

>>16694026
Turn off CNN.

>>16694140
I haven't touched a tv in years. I get it from every website I visit. 4chan happens to be the worst because of how infuriating the "people" are, but it's also the only place I can vent my frustrations and take my anger out on the wold

Nofap November day 1. Wish me luck.

>>16694432
Neolibs are cancer and I hate that I have to throw my lot in with them to get someone other than Trump elected in our farcical democracy. If only the DNC didn't suck corporate shit and Bernie had been the candidate. If only.

>>16694481
When Biden starts a war in Syria I hope you get drafted.

>>16694491
We’re already in a war in Syria

>>16694496
Trump cancelled the CIA in Syria aka ISIS. Biden will start it back up.

>>16694513
trump opened concentration camps and you bootlickers defended it.

I understand now the comfort in delusion. There is a strange clarity in it as well.

>>16683435
Maybe so, but what about all the plastic garbage that breaks into tiny chunks that fish eat and the water carries into the rivers and into grassland for the animals to eat and then we eat the fish and animals and then a few years later we start having large scale genetic mutations, deformities, homosexuality and infertility? The world isn't going to end in one day, but surely with a post like this you can't deny that we are eroding away everything good?

>>16683871
>yet units train marksmanship perhaps once or twice a year
This suggests to me that you don't understand what it is that makes a military deadly. Since WW1 small arms have been playing second fiddle to the new kings of battle and have had a diminishing share of the casualties. I did a pump or two in my day and I can tell you from direct experience that the only thing that really matters is arty/CAS. If your FO can direct fires on target, it doesn't matter if Joe can't hit the broadside of a barn. We are a combined arms military, and as infantry we are its most ineffectual component.

>>16694432
i googled this to find the original post and ended up in a half hour rabbit hole of scrolling "female dating advice" on reddit. jeepers those women are just as seething and resentful of men as incels are of women. internet hugboxes are truly destroying the fabric of our society. men and women are meant for fucking!!! the hate is pathetic

>>16687515
Girth x Depth percentage

>>16689569
You are now initiated anon.

>>16694496
brainlet 1
>>16694707
brainlet 2

I think I'm having an anxiety attack. I have been having stomach pains for awhile now. Tonight was kind of bad for it. I gradually started shaking in bed. I think I fell asleep for an hour or so. Had weird nightmare about my insides being sawed into and awoke shivering and in severe abdominal pain. Now I'm sitting on the toilet after having pooped a little and I'm still shaking. I'm trying to calm myself down but it's not really working. Should I just go to the hospital? I'm honestly at a loss on what to do.

>>16694590
Good luck brave anon

>>16695148
You should go to the hospital, it might not be an anxiety attack but rather something wrong with your stomach.

>>16695207
I'm really considering it. I'm just sitting here on the toilet telling myself to calm down and that it's okay. I've never been one of, for lack of a better term, "these people." I've been very anxious this past month. I have not done any of my hobbies. I have not done much of anything except wake up, get online, and then go to bed. My sleep is troubled even when my stomach isn't in knots. It's 0600 and I can't sleep. Lately I've been falling asleep around 0400. It used to be around 0100 which was fine for me. Don't judge me but dealing with COVID, the elections, indecision on my own part, my job still being furloughed, potential (and now confirmed) upheaval with the job that ended up being positive but still a source of anxiety, starting to eat red meat again but I'm really regretting that because I like cows and pigs and was a pescatarian for years, and general happenings. I think it's really starting to get to me. The last time I felt anything like this was around last Christmas and I had a small panic or anxiety attack at work. My left hand just started shaking and I had to take a minute to compose myself. I had so much to do and felt like it I didn't get it done it would not only be failure but disappointment.

I do not normally feel this stuff because I shove it down like I'm still an emotionally repressed teenager. I'm ranting. When I get "acceptable" anxious I talk a lot. I guess it transitioned to typing now too for lack of anyone to talk to.

I'm just at a loss. Trying to at least convince myself to wait to go to the hospital until the sun rises. My chest was tight earlier. I think a lot of this is in my brain and I just feel out of control. There are some things I can control and I'm telling myself that but still the dread remains.

>>16695244

i know this doesn't mean much but i hope it gets better for you.

>>16695244
I'm keeping my fingers crossed that everything works out great for you in the end. Until then I can only advise you to maybe try some amateur meditation, just take some time from your day to listen to some light tunes, focus on your breathing and make the world out there disappear. It helped me when I was struggling with negative consequences of this year's craziness.

David Eddings once said, "Write a million words — the absolute best you can write, then throw it all away and bravely turn your bak on what you've written. At that point, you're ready to begin." I was thinking about that. I realized he's right. I also realized how much I need to do this. I'm a noob.

>>16695249
>>16695265
Thanks, lads. I'll try the meditation when and if I calm down more. I tried meditating because of David Lynch and the transcendental meditation stuff a few months ago. It was very interesting, even if I only did it for a few days. Really focused me which I was surprised with.

Typing it out seemed to help a little. I went to the hobby store today too. Saw people I haven't seen in months. Joked around. But I think it was a little too socially overwhelming. For the past months I've barely had any contact in person with anyone. Certainly not three other people at once. It's usually one. Maybe that has affected me. I'm dwelling and rambling.

>>16695280
I've written a million words as of this year. But I am not ready to turn my back on any of it. I have like 5 stories and two novels stuck in incompletion and I can't give up on any of them.

>um so we wuz soldiers and went to war
>then some of my homies died horrible deaths
>I got shot but survived every time due to luck or whatever the fuck
>then I got a ticket home, nigger that took my place died within a week
>btw I fucked a daughter of every host I stayed with on the way back
Then all of it repeated 3-4 times, here's my book - nothing personel kid

I dont know what to paint
It seems everything is possible but also meaningless.
But then again i know pol-tier shit is actually not possible

test

>>16678716
beggars*

very nice, I enjoyed this

>>16695365
Don't fret anon, I'm sure they suck

The air down here in the dungeon is very humid. A person cannot breathe it for long without getting sick. The prisoners' lungs must be filled to the brim with water. When one of them dies and is released from the chains, he strikes the stone floor with a splash. A gush of water will run out of his mouth, and that'll be it – like fish, I suppose. The jailer has a shiny round face. He is alway puffing on a cigar. He languidly pushes it around with his lips. Sometimes he yawns, forming a big black 0. There is not much to do here. He listens to the hustle and bustle outside on the yard: bare feet stomping on marble. Seldomly some forgetful prisoner is quietly moaning in pain. Then the jailer rises to ensure total silence –– but the squeaking sound of the stool on the tiles is already enough. The jailer has a short, but very thick penis that sticks straight out of a tangle of black hair. Almost all prisoners are men, most of them of advanced age. However, there is also a woman who has recently joined them. She is even quite young at 42 years of age, and also plump. When her head was shaved, the jailer was very angry about it. He collected the cut hair - who wouldn't? - and stuffed it into his breast pocket. From then on, when he felt like it, he pulled out a lock of her hair and played with it between his fingers, masturbating.

i wake up at 4pm and can't go to sleep until 8 or 9am. it's the schedule i used to have when i worked the night shift but that was years ago. i've always been naturally a night person. it seems somehow to reassert itself. i hate it. it feels like an illness. there is no worse feeling than starting your day as everyone else begins to wind down. especially in the fall and winter, when it gets dark so early. i think part of the problem is actually my basement room. it has a window, but the window looks up toward a brick a wall. no sun ever gets in it. the room is basically dark all day long. you need sunlight hitting your retinas to help wake you up, and you need the dark to be a signal for your body to go to sleep. it doesn't help that i am in quarantine, and spend most of my day in bed, rather than a foot away, sitting at the desk.

>>16694707
Obama built them. Trump wasn’t able to deport half as many as Obama did. Not only did he enforce existing laws and separate families of immigrants, his military assassinated a US born boy who went to Yemen to find his terrorist dad.

>>16694946
>He doesn’t know we’re in a complicated war with Syria
Brainlet of brainlets

Lately I had the tendency to skip words when I'm posting on 4chan or sending texts to friends. Am i becoming dumber?

>>16696485
No, that points to problems with concentration.

>>16678130
I'd rather life every single life of ancient greece than this modern one.

I'm hoping for the world to burn so I can have an excuse

>>16693866
>I have no political identity, all these years lurking /lit/ to see if I could find something to call my own have done me no good.
boy having no "political identity" is by a large margin the patrician position. if you had become indoctrinated that would not have "done you good".

>>16694188
a few days ago I started going out picking trash. the only reason I'm doing this, really, is so I have something to do other than browse websites and get mad. so far it's working ok.

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaGaYgPZA-8

if you really got nothing to do then check out Lonesome Dove on youtube. it's a series of feature-length films, but it really plays more like a tv-series. best western I've ever seen, really engaging stories about life when there is no law, and men have to be men, and many times that isn't going to be enough either.

>>16696612
same desu

I can't fall asleep because of the mcdies I ate for dinner.

>>16691524
how? I hate the christmas one.

oh boy big ol things
maybe not I don't know
I think I might have gotten infatuated with a woman who turns out to be no good. I'm somewhat invested emotionally, but not formally so. I could more or less just stop replying. Still it's something to think about.
I've had a couple of good days. I feel quite contented. Cooked a fine dinner today. Not really managing college the way I should but what can you do, I'm sure it will be alright.

>>16696612
The world is never going to 'burn' the way you imagine it will. Hasn't it burned enough this year? What more are you waiting for..?

>>16696485
I've been noticing this with myself lately too and I also began to worry... maybe an effect of too much screen time?

>>16698031
>>16696485
oh shit I noticed that too lately. seriously

can you even begin to imagine how much worse life would be without tomatoes

>>16682540
nobody can replace based Samson. dogs are the best and even still I am sure you could love again. I lost my best friend dog last year and I still think of him. but there has been another dog since and I love him also. they are different and wonderful and that is fine. I hope things work out for you anon, dogs are best.

>>16692306
i find the notion oddly comforting, after years of miserable depression. i think "as bad as it gets, at least i always have a way out"

>>16692814
fuck that nigga nut life 4eva

>>16698078
don't even

i just want to be happy someday, whatever that means. just for a change.

>>16678310
if you are feminine looking I'd let you suck me willy

>>16680393
>considering traveling to Jordan

don´t, i´ve been there and it´s shit, considering i´m from south america, you should take my advice seriously

My research into how society works for the purpose of writing a dystopian setting has messed with my head.
The only way to write something less hospitable than our current reality is to implement methodical malice just to cause suffering.

I will never scoff at mental problems again ever.

Welp /lit/ bros it's been a few months since I've been here. Fell off the wagon again and have spent the last few months drunk and high off my ass. Today was my first day sober in a long time, and as I lie awake waiting for sleep, I'm looking forward to my second one tomorrow. I'm getting pretty good at this, my last stint of sobriety was also the longest and this time round itll be even longer. The time spent off the wagon this time round was also the shortest by far.

Thanks for reading my blog homies

>>16698075
>>16698031
>>16696485

Can't be coincidence. I suspect CIA fuckery.

does the self "own" the physical body it excretes words through?

>>16698844
Why did you start drinking again? Why did you stop?

Tits are not a deal breaker, but bigger tits are never a bad thing.

Time to buy milk.

>>16682540
I understand exactly what your fear is because I have the same moral autism where the principle is always fragile, and normies always take a thousand low roads that subtly erode the principle to make their lives more convenient but ultimately end up living unprincipled lives, and you gradually develop an incredible fear of that normie soul poison. At least that's how it is for me.

I don't know if the answer is black and white. I feel the same way about a cat I loved very much. The idea of my memories of her fading at all hurts me, and I don't know what to do about it. As with everything else in life I am so obsessed with the moral duty of it, the duty not to let her be forgotten, that I can barely see my own desires and feelings next to it. The overwhelming majority of my thought processes about my cat end up being, I don't want to do the morally ugly thing. In your case the morally ugly thing, the thing all normies would instantly do of course, would be treating Samson like he was some ephemeral plaything for the much-more-important humans and now the humans need a new plaything because they feel bad-feelings (not quite sadness, because sadness implies depth, and in this case the implication would be "dog was fun dog is gone i'm sad need new dog" which isn't true sadness).

Part of me wants to tell you to just let yourself live and not be so obsessed with the moral duty that you end up missing new experiences, and more than that, miss out on the opportunity to enrich another dog's life as much as you did Samson's. But I do also value the refusal to be like the normies, who constantly "forgive themselves" and "let themselves" do whatever makes them feel good in the moment, to the point that it becomes a reflex and they no longer even know what it means to feel sad, morally responsible, or duty-bound in the first place. I do think there is value in the latter.

I think the answer in your case has to be some synthesis of the real content of the two positions. You should get a new dog. But you should also not do it because you copped out and became a normie, or listened to the normies, who can't see or understand why you are hesitant to do it. You should do it, but you should do it when that part of you that is hesitant to do it is okay with doing it. But you should also not let that part of you be so autistically duty-bound that it makes a dry, empty, rule-for-the-sake-of-a-rule out of "never besmirch Samson's memory by even presuming to compare him with a new dog!"

Not even Samson would want that. Samson's dog soul is probably peering into your soul right now from the astral plane before transiting to a new fun dog life, appreciating how much you care, and wishing he could lighten your load. Wouldn't you want him to move on if the tables were turned, out of genuine love for him?

>16698903
>Why did you start drinking again?
Everything was going pretty well, depression came back unannounced for some surprise buttsex
>Why did you stop?
I genuinely like feeling healthy

>>16698897
Other way around

>>16698964
That comic always gets me.

>>16698967
>I genuinely like feeling healthy

Amen brother. It sounds stupid but one day I woke up after drinking myself sick and thought you know what fuck it, I'm sick of feeling like shit every day. I cut out booze and junk food, I stopped taking my meds (safely, I promise), I avoided sugar as much as possible, and started exercising most days a week. This was about two years ago, still going strong, and I feel so much better in every aspect of my life. I don't mean to make it sound easy, because it took many years before the epiphany really hit me, but once it did my life changed for the better.

I despise people who view laziness as a sort of virtue. They think they are being smart and gaming a system by being lazy but they are rotting themselves inside.

>Friend calls me to introduce me to a girl. A nerdy girl that "is looking for a friend", he says.
>Turns out the girl has huge self-esteem issues, says she can't have friends because she's boring, is obviously desperate for a boyfriend, is really awkward and pushy (also 25 years old)
>Even though I'm a fucking kissless virgin, I still find that a huge turn off.
>Still try to talk to the girl so that she's more comfortable with herself. I hate seeing people look down on themselves. She keeps telling me how she was bullied in school, broke up with an online boyfriend two days after they got together and how she was harrased online for doing cosplay
>Girl realizes I don't want a relationship with her and stops talking to me.
Say whatever you want. I feel like I dodged a bullet and I learned that I'm not as desperate for a relationship as I thought I was. I don't want one if it means having to deal with someone clingy and immature.
Don't just watch anime, kids. Read a book and talk to people as well.

>>16699407
We are all travellers on our separate journey's anon. I'm a big believer in letting people make their mistakes and struggle along their own paths, helping only in small amounts where and if we can. It sounds like you weren't the person to help this particular girl, nor should you necessarily need to be. What attention you did give her, however brief, I'm sure will contribute to her maturation in the long run. Likewise, it sounds like the same has been true in reverse.

>>16687806
When you're 15 and some 30 year old wants to fuck you your undeveloped mind can't really handle the sort of relationship they're gonna offer and its always abusive because of the clear power gap involved. This being said I really wish a milf had abused me.

My gf had a breakdown today. She started drinking before I got out of bed, by the about 2pm she was stuck on the couch while I put together a new piece of furnititure. She thought taco bell would make her feel better but it didn't (surprise) so she drank more. We were supposed to go to her sisters house at like 6 but her drunkenness prevented us from going. She cried for a few hours and talked about how much she wants to kill herself, how no one understands her, and how empty she feels. I know these feeling of hers are real but I have no idea how to help her. It's been building for a few months now, first she thought it was because I hadn't been trying as hard since around the time we moved in together. She won't go to therapy because she thinks there arent any therapists that want todeal with people with bpd. I dont know how to help her at this point. She just yelled at me because I 'vibrated to couch' when I walked by her, and now she's passed out again. I love her so much but this is really straining out relationship. Should I call her sister, or her best friend and see if they can help her? She's convinced that no one cares as much about her as she does them.

>>16688092
I mean, some are out trying to improve their lives and you're grappling with a anime addiction and jungle fever. Maybe you hate yourself?

>>16699459
It's not like I want to break up with her, I just want what we had back but I fear that won't happen. She told me she feels like she's meant to be in an abusive (her ex was) relationship because that would give her something more real to cry about. I don't know what to do guys this breaks my heart. I have no one to talk about this with. All of my friends either have never had a gf or have stable long term gfs

>>16699471
I love her and she loves me but this breaks my heart. I've put my foot down and said no more alcohol but that's not even the start of the problem. She realizes what this does to me but she can't help herself. She wasn't like this 6 months ago :( we dated for about a year before we even had our first fight and since then it's been getting worse.

>>16699479
I know that there isn't much for me to do. I see a few options - I could keep going on like normal and probably eventually see our relationship go up in flames. I could try to force her to go to a therapist, but what if that doesn't work? I could break up with her but I really fear that she would kill herself. I'm sorry for these 4 posts but this Is one of the hardest things I've been through :( :(

>>16699489
I feel like I'm part of the problem - I let her move in even though I wasn't ready for that, I've bought her alcohol, I let her play videogames while I'm at work and don't really expect anything out of her other than a hug when I get home. I express my love for her in a childish way - by letting her do whatever she wants, often sacrificing what I want. I know I should be putting my foot down more often but she always turns it in to a fight now :( :(

>>16699489
thats some difficult shit friend-o.
best advice i can give is to not put the weight of her improvement on you.
you can support her, be there for her, but ultimately she has to do seek to get better.
get her to go to a therapist, and be persistent, if she does not like going, try a different one.
if all else fails, remember your own worth anon, if she refuses to get better, do not allow yourself to sink with her.
i sort of went through this from the other side, the depressed ass that would mope and be pissy, so when i say only she can change herself, i am serious.
Good luck, anon

>>16699612
Thanks for the reply friend, it means a lot. I can only try to take this advice. I got her calmed down and sleeping in the bed now.

>>16699459
>>16699523
You are part of the problem. She can't have adult relationships and should not be in one. She should be in therapy (the therapy which is getting the most hype at the moment across all illnesses is DBT which was originally designed for BPD, so she's also wrong about therapy). She does not care more about others, because that is her delusion, that experiencing things like a three year old with poor parents makes her feelings more real and deep than anyone else's. If you are ever in a relationship where the other person threatens you with suicide if you leave, LEAVE IMMEDIATELY. Ring her family and explain she can either go home to them or get a psych hold for threatening suicide, but move her out of your house now.
All you are teaching her is that this bullshit avoids her greatest fear: abandonment. It does not. It just prolongs your agony until you're drained dry and she feels abandoned anyway, while teaching her that this bullshit works for a small amount of time which seems like forever to her toddler brain. You are teaching her to threaten suicide to get what she wants. Be an adult and teach her that does not work. She needs that lesson or she will be in ribbons and wear you down to nothing useful.

Fear
Anxiety
Paranoia
This is what it causes. Truth is found in the words.

>>16699638
You hit the nail on the head with some things. I've been reading about bpd since this all started and I was naively hoping that it would help me manage it. In reality it only made me realize how much of her behavior is due to her disorder. For me the frustrating thing is that it was never like this before - she would talk about how much better she was managing it after meeting me and the like. At the time she had a job and we didn't live together - there was much more structure in her life. I feel like I've let her slip into being this way by babying her. I think some element of tough love is probably necessary but I know it will be hard for me to actually do, but if you guys believe in me I should believe in myself.

>>16697599
Bottom right corner of the page, you'll see it says "style". Choose from the list.

>>16684889
When I blow my nose it makes a sustained honking sound like a foghorn or euphonium :(

>A patient finds their worth
>Becoming the doctor.
>But dusty window's more present
>Than the treeline's silhouette

>>16699664
It's not just babying her, it's having a relationship. You know how toddlers are dumb so when their mom leaves the room they figure she is never coming back and they wail like she is leaving them on the side of the road and driving off even though she's just going to pee? That is what a relationship will feel like to her. She probably had more structure and self-discipline before because she wasn't in a relationship. Babying her can make it worse, but being in a relationship for BPD sufferers is like leaving a three year old eat candy until they're sick. They can, in some cases, with a lot of work and therapy, have relationships where they dim the symptoms, but all those relationships start with "I'm BPD, here is my therapist's name and number and the list of things I'm not supposed to do in a relationship which I have done before, would you like to come to an appointment with me?"
For most, they don't get that far and wind up with people who enable them with that constant terrified/angry/hurt/pleading feeling of a three year old going unmitigated.
She will feel less out of control without intimate relationships.

>>16699407
Sounds like you did the right thing. I was just in the exact situation and did the same thing you did and am happy with my choice

I've been spending some time on /sci/ and we're (on average) way smarter than them, there's no comparison really

>>16695244
>starting to eat red meat again but I'm really regretting that because I like cows and pigs and was a pescatarian for years,
This is probably why you have stomach problems. You have to slowly work meat back into your diet, and it's easier to start with chicken rather than red meat. On the bright side, it will go away again once your body starts producing the right enzymes again. All your anxiety is doing is causing you to link fuzzy problems into a big fuzzy mess. Your stomach is telling you it hasn't eaten this much red meat in a while and it is trying to work out what to do with it. Cows and pigs only exist because humans eat them. Don't feel bad for them, just source your meat from places that don't treat them badly. Cows and pigs have very nice lives when farmed right.

>making all of this itt shit just to hear my opinion
Holy kek you dumb bitch

Books by poets who turned into Shaggy?

Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom
I find myself bound to the cross
Fettered to righteousness
Is my only hope

AAHPIUSHPIUDGhpiau shyiguhbjdspfoil nahtgwoeukrdhs togikulyjehrndsp 0j9;otguckqjwhujyz bvgk85bun j

>>16698094
>>16698964
>>16683185
Thanks guys. This is gonna sound stupid but it means a lot that you used his name instead of just saying "your dog" or something, I don't know why.

I know I would come to love another dog if we got one, I just don't feel like I am at the point in my grief-journey where I'm ready. It's still so fresh, the fact that they started bringing it up so soon bothered me. Still, if they all decide to get another dog, I will acquiesce to it, for their happiness. And mine, in the long run. Samson wouldn't want to see me like this. I just wish like hell he was still here to cheer me up.

>>16699645
FAPT?

>>16693645
Good news!