/lit/ - Literature

>in conclusion

>>16432720
>In this essay I will conclusively prove...

>now let us consider therefore, that

Seriously though is there a better way to begin an essay?

Whenever I've tried something out of the ordinary, like starting with an anecdote or interesting fact, there's always some comment in red saying 'get to the point' or 'unneeded'.

Instead cookie cutter essays which follow the 'I will argue that ... the first argument is .... the second argument is ... in conclusion I believe ...' structure get good grades, despite zero originality and just tons of references to others' work.

>>16432780
The best way to begin an essay in order to farm a grade from NPC professors is to provide a short history of the subject and/or recent developments so you can immediately and fluently move on to the next point they need to grade, which is always the relevant literature.

>>16432720
what's wrong with that? get to the thesis, don't fuck me around bro.

>>16432808
Yes and what's interesting is that if you read any notable articles these rules are completely disregarded. I was reading one of Dennett's most cited articles and he breaks every single academic rule.

>>16432780
I never put any excessive effort into my essays. I’m here to pass the class, nothing more nothing less.

>>16432780
its not that hard, just dont use janky language. I know its high school maxim, but try not to swy I in the thesis.
>throughout western History the idea of the Corpore, or body, to describe the political system has been a preeminent allusion. However the subtext of Organs working together has been questioned in the aftermath of the frech revolution. Here, the changing nature of the “Corpore” will be disected and discussed in light of the revoution.

>>16432835
>janky
Never heard this word but I know I'm going to be using it

>>16432822
It is expected that you are presenting an argument in the essay, and it is assumed that the argument is yours. "In this essay I will argue that ..." is redundant and tedious.

>Personally, I ....
>The author suggests ....

>>16432720
>As I previously stated in my last opus...

>>16432780
That's because your professors are teaching you how to write essais meant to be published. If you're publishing in a journal, you should in fact get to the point and be as clear and concise as possible, so that your informed readers can understand your claims, and then either support them or object to them.

>this argument was retroactively refuted by A.N. Whitehead

>>16432780
yeah never attempt to be clever or original, it's just purely a technical exercise.

>I regard this claim as self-evident.

>moreover, as Guenon (pbuh) has shown, the..

>>16432843
really?
I dont know how i could function without it. describing something that just doesnt flow right and is cumbersome, even if not necessarily incorrect.

>>16432876
as it always seems to be, this argument (like all arguments before and after) was and will be retroactively refuted by guenon (pbuh). The end.

>>16432720
how do humanitards cope with writing so many essays? just having to write one makes me want to kill myself it's so dry and pointless.

>vis-à-vis

>>16432904
whats the point of this kind of cup? I understand its a novelty, but shouldnt it at least be transparent so someone could see what level the drink is at so they can talk? otherwise, they would need to look down i to the cup awkwardly then look at the markings.

>further more, another thing that backs up my claims is...

>>16432860
nothing drops your grade faster than unsolicited lapses into latin throughout your essay, but watching markers seethe in their comments makes it all worth it

>t. replaced common phrases with latin equivalents in every essay to pad out words for 4 years of law school

>>16432936
Seems like you've been blessed with the 'tism

>>16432720
>Today I am writing about...

>>16432948
just write the whole essay in latin.

>>16432936
that's actually a good point. Fuck

>>16432720
And in conclusion let us review...

>>16432973
Basus est

>>16432952
maybe so, but I believe the joke is incomplete without it.

>>16432780
Just state what you're going to say but remove the "in this essay" part.

>>16433011
>quae cum ita sint
>ceteris paribus
>disserendum est

>>16432927
Maybe it's just you who's dry and pointless, anon.

>>16432780
You need to be as formulaic and straightforward as possible. It's boring but that's how you get the marks. It's purely a technical exercise, not an exercise in creative writing.

>>16433065
fuck you made me cry bro.

>>16432889
the chaddest move

>>16433084
wtf really? i'm sorry bro i'm just here to be a dick and have fun

>>16432955
>today im gonna write about

>Be that as it may it nevertheless goes without saying...

>>16433132
>Thus, we find that...

>>16432843
You've never heard the word "janky" before? Are you an ESL by chance?

>proof left as exercise to the reader

>>16432720
>>16432727
>Write an original essay
>TAs scribble question marks all over it, write notes like 'what is your thesis???', 'where is your conclusion???'
>Put bland statements in all my future essays explicitly stating what my argument is and where my conclusion is.
>Get better grades

>>16433156
It's because people who work at universities are fucking stupid so without the equivalent of a fucking billboard sign saying "ARGUMENTATION STARTS HERE" they don't know what to look at and grade.

>>16432936
>>16432904
>>16432952
>>16432983
There are cups that change their color based on heat. This is likely one of those cups. See pic related.

>>16433211
Closer
example is pic related

>>16433150
It's an American slang word, calm down Jerome, rest of the Anglo world doesn't use it.

>>16432720
[...]. Yet, therefore [...].

>>16432720
>One might expect an argument. This I shall forgo.

>Prepare for enlightenment, my dear reader...

>>16432780
Something like "The Industrial Revolution has been a disaster for the human race."
That is to say just make it a statement that you are going to argue for during the essay.

>>16433277
I'm not black but Jerome is shockingly close to what my actual name is lol

>>16434156
Jeremy?

.... but this is beyond the scope of this essay

>>16432936
>I understand its a novelty, but
“But” you answered your own question, rétard.

>>16434205
fuck this one

>>16433514
Nice

>>16432720
It's technically a thesis statement, which should be in the first paragraph, just a cliched one.

>>16432720
>That philosophy died yesterday, since Hegel or Marx, Nietzsche, or Heidegger--and philosophy should still wander toward the meaning of its death--or that it has always lived knowing itself to be dying (as is silently confessed in the shadow of the very discourse which declared philosophia perennis); that philosophy died one day, within history, or that it has always fed on its own agony, on the violent way it opens history by opposing itself to non philosophy, which is its past and its concern, its death and wellspring; that beyond the death, or dying nature, of philosophy, perhaps even because of it, thought still has a future, or even, as is said today, is still entirely to come because of what philosophy has held in store; or, more strangely still, that the future itself has a future--all these are unanswerable questions.

>As we have had plenty occasion to remark upon elsewhere,

What is the objectively most based way of ending an essay?

>>16434968
>and that's it, the end

>is ostensibly

>>16432780
The conclusion of your essay should be obvious, through solid argumentation. Stating outright your intent usually indicates a certain insecurity with your ability to effectively communicate a message.

>>16434968
>I leave the reader to draw his own conclusion for I trust his intellect.

>>16434968
>[the manuscript cuts off here]

>>16434968
>I would like to end with a closing prayer

>>16434968
>QVOD ERAT DEMONSTRANDVM

>>16432825
he is Dennett you're some faggot in a mongolian under water basket weaving forum

>>16434968
Giving a summary and conclusion in verse

>>16435106
That's still considerably better than being Dennett

I always start my questions with an asinine, grandiose and mostly irrelevant statement.
Say I was doing an essay comparing Shelley's Mont Blanc to Ozymandias, I might go with
>Torque! A measure of force, perhaps a word known to Shelley, who was understood to keep himself abreast of scientific inquiry. What of it? The Romantic notion of the sublime concerns itself intimately with power, force not wielded but nevertheless imposed upon the individual who makes himself ready to observe. How to estimate then the force of the sublime? How might one weigh a mountain against a king?
And then I'd introduce the two poems and use the phrase "compare and contrast" about twice each paragraph. It helps, don't be afraid to be a little bold or have some flair, especially in the intro.

>>16432780
Your essay will be read by someone who needs to read a bunch of essays and wants to get it over with as quickly as possible. You are participating in an industrial scale production of midwits, so act the part

>>16435236
apt observation

>>16432927
You start to understand the essay as an art form unto itself. You should go read famous essays. Don't list to these C students ITT telling you that "in this essay I will..." is good enough.

>As such,

>>16434205
Used this before, marker just put a frowny face in the margin.

>>16434968
~ fin

>In this essay, we will examine...

>>16432720
In freshman year of college our final project in Eng 101 was to write a persuasive essay and I wrote mine on why technology needed to be abandoned wholesale if humanity was going to continue as a successful race, basing my argument heavily on Kaczynski. I wrote two versions, one where I used weak, academic phrasing like
>in this essay I will argue
>in conclusion
>In this essay I will conclusively prove
>now let us consider therefore, that
and I wrote one version that used very matter-of-fact, forceful language. Turned the latter in and got a 96%. Went in after and showed my professor the first one and he said that it was terrible although the only difference was the connecting words.

>TL;DR don't write arguments in pussy language, always assume you're right with no doubt in your mind and force your opinion on your reader

Pic unrelated

>I hope you enjoyed reading this essay as much as I enjoyed writing it.

>>16435009
That was literally word-for-word how I concluded and essay I wrote in college in which I vaguely argued against women's rights. I got a 63%, prof was a woman.

>>16432888
This mentality has become such a norm that I actually get professors encouraging me to pursue "creative" theses, and all I can trace it back to is the lack of people not just doing argument or terminology analysis.

Then again I use my professors like the whores they are supposed to be for their students:
>multiple private sessions
>frequent emails on private questions on the philosopher at hand
>I ask them to give their opinion on the current progress of my essay
>I even got a young professor to go to a cafe with me 5 times during the semester and disussions were never shorter than an hour
>(sadly the more important the professor is the less he likes to get used and private sessions and inquiries after class is all I get)

Stupid anglos seeing their educations as a simple necessity for their actual goal, their job, instead of truly using the luxury of studying under experts in their field to its fullest potential

>>16435235
this is fine in english lit. try this shit in phil and you'll see

>>16434968
>In conclusion, here is my introduction slightly reworded

>put my phone number in the middle of the essay and the words "please, I'm lonely"

>>16436070
this is literally what conclusions are

>>16432720
>as we have seen

>>16432720
>He ____ed . . . She _____ed

>>16432780
>Seriously though is there a better way to begin an essay?
The rhetoric has to be concise and dramatic (the reader does not notice the time). Telling people they're in an essay also violates "get to the point" and "unneeded".

>>16432835
Better, but it remains prolix.
>Here, the changing nature of the “Corpore” will be dissected and discussed in light of the revolution.
This prosaic construction is an artifact of the diligent rote memorizing golems teaching composition from grammar school on. It belongs in business/military briefs and nowhere beside.
> ... has been THE preeminent allusion. This has subsequently been questioned in the aftermath of the French Revolution regarding the subtext of Organs working together. The changing nature of the discourse on the “Corpore” must be dissected and discussed in light of this ongoing reevaluation.

>>16436162
how much you charge to write essays?

>Behold the preliminary portion of this most divine essay that shall either break or rapture your psyche, by which I mean you mental sanity, or as the Greeks called it πέος, for many things shall be henceforth demonstrated by the logos (λογότυπα), indubitably arresting your attention via a prosody of enchanting syllables.

>>16432948
> As specified ex frudum in my last piece, John Doe was deus trans corpulus a rectum majoris.

>>16432889
The intelligent version of
> because I fucking said so

>>16433151
>Do you have a source for this claim?
> no u

>this, then

>>16434968
...resulting, inevitably, in the downfall of the Soviet Union.
As well as the KIKES, NIGGERS, AND JANNIES

Writing essays is like getting laid, you just have to fake confidence.

>>16436276
>Writing essays is like getting laid
It's true, I think about it a lot but never actually do it

t. regretful STEMfag

>>16432927
By speckling in poetic analogies, constructing interesting sentences, and not using dumb transitional phrases like, "furthermore", "following this point", etc. "And" and "but" do the job well enough.

>>16435867
please stop saying "private sessions" when you actually mean "office hours." it sounds lewd. thanks.

>>16432927
Tying an argument together is kind of fun

>>16432720
>he doesn't approach his thesis' subject as if it was a stand up comedy monologue

So what's the deal with linguistic studies in the poetry of T. S. Eliot? Big peepeepoopoo if you ask me

https://youtu.be/qhUe2wXTnkk

Why are professors so easily impressed by dry formulaic essays?

>>16437059
They aren't. Essays are a metric to see if you understand the material well enough to synthesize it in a coherent manifold. It's as impressive to professors as circling true in a true-or-false question.

>>16432720
>in this manifesto I will demonstrate

>>16437006
ok I get the distinction you are implying, but I do meet with them for actual out of office hour private seessions for lunch and even on the weekends.

Quick question: is "Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me." grammatically wrong? I think it should be "Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me [to do].", but I can't put my finger on the rule.

>prof tells me I can't assume the reader knows about historical events that I reference
Who's the educator here

>>16434968
>well, that about wraps 'er up, folks.

>>16433514
Based.

>>16432948
Based but also
>4 years of law school
Anon I...