/lit/ - Literature

>>16418914
Posted this in the write what's on your mind thread just now but here goes

At any rate I don't feel the need to rush ahead. Things move forward without my direct involvement, all I need do is wait them out and in the end all will come to fruition as I planned it.
So long as the rabbits don't chew the roots of my apple tree, I guess. Do they do that? Chew roots? Probably not. So it's fine. The apples are bit bitter though. Maybe I should do that thing where you take a branch and join it into a tree to make that tree produce more apples like the ones from the tree that donated the branch.
Later though. Tree still has growing to do. Time enough to figure out how to actually bake pies. All things considered, the apple situation is satisfactory now.
I'm thinking of planting gooseberries too. My grandfather's farm had those. And black currants too. My yard isn't big enough for all these shrubs though. Gooseberries will make do.
A garden of utility. A garden that will produce things, if only few things. A garden to make pies and jams out of the produce of. It's not quite the dream of having my own vineyard, but maybe I can make liquor out of berries too. I buried the dead birds into my compost heap. I hope crows don't pick at it too much. I don't really NEED a compost and don't have much to put there, but it looks very earthy and it's useful for hiding rotting things.
My yard is very nice, all things considered. I've made observations of when my neighbors are out. I can do pretty much anything I please here at certain hours of the day with no one around. So I open the cage and let the birds out for air and exercise. So long as they don't try to leave the yard, it works out well and I don't need to clip their wings. Such a lovely black sheen when the sun shines on them on those warm days, it warms the heart the way the sun warms the body.
They sing such songs to me.

>>16418914
Has anyone read Techniques of the Selling Writer? I'm just about to finish it, and I can only recommend it. Miles beyond the usual Stephen King shit. It's different from most writing books I know of for sticking to the main point, which is to sell books. It talks a lot more about characters than finding inspiration, scenes and sequels than how to know if you're a writer.
Plus, the 70s used car salesman aesthetic is very appealing.

>>16419170
sounds like Lenny but a slightly higher IQ

>>16418914
Thank you OP for adding the copypasta. I know it's not the best, but I know when I started writing I would have loved to have em'.

>>16419373
> How to Write a Damn Good Novel by James Frey
Didn't he get in trouble because he plagiarized his novel?

>>16418914
>The next JK Rowling in this thread?
But I don't hate trannies.

>15k words into my novel, which I've been publishing chapter-by-chapter
>come up with an original idea for a novel that would be very fun to write
>have to bench it for the foreseeable future so I can finish what I'm already working on

>>16419703
just put in twice the hours bro

> Chapter 1: Jamarcus Harker goes to Transylvania

May 3

Last night, I boarded the overnight train in Munich, a city in the Black country of Germany. I arrived in the Black Austrian city of Vienna by morning. By noon, I was in the Black Hungarian city of Budapest. The Budapest train had arrived an hour late, but the transfer to Black Romanian city of Cluj was on schedule. Overall, I made good time.

As I had little time before transfers, I didn’t do any sightseeing beyond the plazas of the train stations themselves. Visiting the historically black countries of Hungary and Romania made me feel as if I were visiting my central European Black cousins. Among the verdant trees were the ruins of bathhouses, built by the ancient Black Romans. Black Hungarian peasants tilled the fields of their charming Magyar farms. The atmosphere of the region was slightly permeated by Black Turkish traditions.

After nightfall, I arrived in Cluj. Here, I stopped for the night at the Hotel Mansa Musa. For a late dinner, I had a Hungarian chicken with hot red pepper and collard greens. Note to self: get the recipe for Moesha. The waiter said that the dish was called “paprika peri peri,” the national dish of Hungary. It should be available everywhere in this country, even in the remotest regions of the Carpathian Mountains.

Although I don’t speak Hungarian or Romanian, the natives here all speak German moderately well. Afro Europeans have high standards for education. Every grade school Black child is expected to learn at least one foreign language. With my high school-level education in Deutsch, I’m able to communicate with my Central European Black brothers. Indeed, I don’t know how I’d get along in Transylvania without my German!

Earlier, when I was still in London, I visited the Black British Museum and the Afro British Library to do research on Transylvania. I figured that having some basic knowledge of Transylvania would be useful when doing business with a nobleman of that region. He lives on the eastern border of Transylvania, deep in the Carpathian Mountains. It is still an unexplored region, and I was unable to find on a map the exact location of Castle Blackula. My research showed me that this region of Transylvania is the birthplace of many superstitions, as if it were some epicenter of magic. Note to self: Ask the Count about them.

>>16419703
just give up your novel bro. critics from the future will say something like "woaa he was like, characterizing the age he was in.. things are just left unfinished..."

>>16419723
May 4

I slept uneasily last night, even though my bed was comfortable, and the room pleasant. A constant knocking on my door woke me up from my terrorizing slumber.

For breakfast, I had more paprika and a bowl of puréed bean soup, which they said was “bessara,” and a crispy flatbread, which they call “khobz.” Note to self: get recipe for this too. Moesha loves learning about other Black European foods.

Right after breakfast, I rushed to the train station to travel eastward. The whole day passed with unending views of picturesque country beauty. Cloud-like fog veiled and then unveiled jutting mountains. I passed by towns of simple houses and castles on hills. At every train station, there were all sorts of Black people, wearing all sorts of clothing. Some of the peasants wore the same attire as the Black British peasants back home, with homemade shirts, trousers, and hats. The Romanian peasants wore wide-sleeved, white dress shirts, which contrasted with their black skin. The Black Magyar peasants wore black hats, black vests, and black trousers.

It was dusk when the train reached the small Romanian town of Bistrița. Count Blackula had directed me to go to the Upper Egypt Hotel. I was clearly expected, as a cheery, old, Black peasant woman immediately greeted me.

“The Herr Black English man?”
“Yes,” I said. “Jamarcus Harker.”

She said something in Hungarian to an old Black peasant man, who reached underneath the table and pulled out a letter from the Count:

Dear Mister Harker,

Welcome to the Carpathians. I hope you had a safe journey from London to Bistrița. At 3 pm tomorrow, a cab will take you to Bukovina. A place on the carriage will be reserved for you. At the Borgo Pass, my carriage will be waiting for you, and will take you to my castle. I know you’ve had a hard journey, and so I am excited for you to relax and enjoy all that my land has to offer.

Your brother,
Blackula

>>16419813
When I asked the old man for more details about the carriage ride, he pretended to not understand my German. He mumbled something about receiving some money from Blackula and that’s all he knew of the entire matter. He and his wife looked at each in a frightened manner. When I asked the two if they could tell me anything at all about Count Blackula or his castle, they crossed themselves and refused to speak further.

I went up to my room for to rest. Soon afterwards, the old woman knocked on my door with an urgent energy.

“Young Herr!” she said hysterically. “Don’t go! Please don’t go!”

At this point, her German was entirely forgotten, and her words were mixed up with Hungarian. I told her that I had to continue as I had very important business with the Count.

“Do you know what day it is?”
“It’s the fourth of May,” I said.
She shook her head, “No, I already know that. Do you know what day it is?”
I replied that that I didn’t.
“It is the eve of St. Jerome’s Day. At midnight, all the undead and evil spirits are at their strongest. You mustn’t go to the Count’s castle!”

It was all so ridiculous, but the poor old woman was so distressed, and I tried to comfort her. She begged me to at least wait until tomorrow to meet the Count, but I told her that I had very important business with him and nothing could stop me. She wiped her tears and sighed. Then she took off her necklace, which had a large Black Jesus on a crucifix, and gestured it towards me.

“For your mama’s sake,” she said.

I hesitated, for the Black Church of England regards such items as idolatrous. However, she was so insistent, and I graciously accepted her charm necklace.

>>16419813
Is pureed bean soup actually a thing? I've never heard of that before

1/2
Wrote this as sort of a beginner to a story I'm thinking about. Basically like fear and loathing in Las Vegas but in space with spooky shit.

I could hear the metal walls that surrounded me and Garrett. They were mocking us. Yes a berating. Laughing and giggling as we moaned in stupper across the paneled floor. A glaze of narcotics and alcohol awash across our sweating faces. Garrett thought it was funny, a real joke to him and whatever he saw. He had a great smile stretched across his face, laughing, and his whole body was relaxed. He couldn't hear the screams of the ships engine, that terrible howling of a mad deranged animal that has to be put down, needs to be put down. I'll put it down. I muttered. It echoed into my skull.

Haroclarix goddamn, I thought or said aloud. It was quite a drug, I could still feel the vial in my pocket and my fist wrapped hard around the glass casing not knowing why or how, it just felt comforting as the roof melted in a bubbling haze. The lights dimmed and somehow brightened at once like I was staring at the apex and collapse of a star at once. Everything I saw and heard was becoming nightmarish and it wouldn't end. Never mix rum with uppers, mom always told me, or downers, or whatever this is, whenever dad said, or brother. Wait I don't have a brother, A slew of thoughts rushed through my mind.

It was only by sheer chance that no one bothered us. I, foam drooling at the mouth, humping the air as I try to breath, and Garrett, the second most important diplomat on the starship, blowing bubbles from his lips and with his spiny fingers playing an invisible instrument. Should we have been found out, it what have meant hell to pay with everyone I despised. My career and the tenuous relationship between two species would be put in jeopardy.

Glorplodher, Garret laughed aloud spitting. This sudden and unexpected noise crashed my senses. It had pierced the veil of that whole universe that was my silent terror at the listening of the booming footsteps outside. Ahahnaha, I moaned in a cold dread, the words slipping from beneath my tongue which felt like a rubber mat at the time. Any moment now, I thought, they're going to come through that door with handcuffs and spectral analyzers and we'll be fucked.

So this is what my life is? I slump up against the wall. A Hell void of sudden and chaotic events that have me recoiling in a hunched ball on the floor pissing myself? Well I didn't think that, the flickering TV monitor on the wall told me that, almost in a low whisper, before it preceded to melt into the wall. I also didn't piss myself, that was Garret's doing, I think.

Kory's, I've heard from friends in the diplomatic corps, are a species that excrement using a series of pulpy tubes that extend out from their stomaches ending somewhere to their knees, the consistency being described in detail as thick and viscous as oil.

(2/2)
Of course when I saw the black puddle forming at the ground, my eyes glazed over in fear. I couldn't yell or scream as I had forgotten how to. Those concepts far gone and alien to me. I only let out a raspy growl as I crawled away on my elbows underneath my bed, escaping from what I perceived as a mass of tiny microscopic worms all devouring, growing ever larger.

Can't find me here, I thought covering over my eyes with the bed sheet I tore off, Never here, never here.

Farrloww, h-human, frienddd, I told youd-it be-would be fuun, hahaha, Garret laughs rolling on his sides.

Mad man, I thought, deciever and murderer. I had never done Haroclarix before. He assured me I would love it. Never even heard of it until he offered me some.

That's all of it for the moment.

>>16420033
don't own a puree or blender, but I've seen people make soups on TV by mashing up various vegetables and adding it to water/broth

>>16420053
>Of course
>a raspy growl
>what I perceived as a
>tiny microscopic worms all devouring
>Never even heard of it until he offered me some.

>>16420039
>So this is what my life is?
>A Hell void of sudden and chaotic events that have me recoiling in a hunched ball
>Kory's, I've heard from friends in the diplomatic corps, are a species

>Basically like fear and loathing in Las Vegas but in space with spooky shit.
a f&l is very pastiche as a story, muh drugs is for teenagers etc.

i didn't come into this thread to leave negative comments, but i read your post and i didn't like how it read. the rhythm of it, the language. it sounded like "how to write a story" stuff, unnatural or without a proper, realistic voice. i can accept that as a spooky space drugs story it can't be based on reality, but, to me, it read like it was being narrated by a troy mcclure, all american in a leather trenchcoat character.

>>16418914
>the year is 2023
>a brilliant but morally backwards young adult male runs a massive drug distribution network from the comfort of his desk
>his front is that he is a cryptocurrency speculator
>aggressively weeds out his competition, has had an owner of similar distribution website grotesquely murdered on livestream to send a message to anyone who dares oppose his handle on the deep web illicits economy
thoughts?

>>16420118
No that's fair anon. I generally had the same issues as I was rewriting it. That realistic voice is something I haven't quite gotten yet.

Beyond pitching a novel, how do you advertise it?

>>16420053
tldr, the guy did drugs

Someone give me a writing prompt for flash fiction + word to use. Practice time.

>>16420418
>WP: Local Clown arrested for inappropriate balloon animals
>Word: Circumcision

>>16418914
So years ago, the last time I was an active writer, this board was pretty unforgiving to speculative fiction writing, and the community over on /tg/ was way better. But since then, /qst/ was hacked off, /wst/ got banished to the nether realm, and the board generally has gone to shit.

So I'm back here.

Do people like speculative fiction here nowadays?

I'm back on the daily writing train, for about two weeks now. Working on a prequel novel to my other manuscript so I can then cross reference the two of them and clean them both up.

It's cyberpunk-esque sci-fi https://pastebin.com/kjBGkF2d

>>16420474
Can't say I've read any speculative fiction before, but I have nothing against seeing it posted here. Every genre is welcome in this thread

>>16420496
I find it hard to believe no one writes fantasy or science fiction in here

>>16420129
What's the conflict?

>>16420513
I did that once. People raised pitchforks and told me to go to the science fiction and fantasy general

>>16420513
I write historical fiction. I'm not really a fan of scifi, and it's hard for me to come up with an idea for a fantasy novel that hasn't already been done before

>>16420583
Isn't this the writing thread though?

>>16420611
The conversation started to veer off to various fantasy fiction writers

>>16420659
Well I will wait and see if someone wants to dig into what I'm working on. I've gotten some good feedback, and I'm still working on it, kinda got a case of that classic "but what if that person just has shit taste?" syndrome

>>16420513
I'm serial writing a sci-fi Space Opera. The sci-fi is not particularly the main focus of it though, though, at least I don't think so. it's a mix of hard, soft and handwave in between. It's on Royal Road link to it if youre still curious https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/31062/saga-of-the-cosmic-heroes spoiled in case jimmies are rustled. There's also another anon writing a martial arts wuxia which is technically fantasy https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/35434/an-ode-to-swordsmen

>>16420673
what in the heck is royalroad

>>16420694
It's like Wattpad

>>16420712
anon you're speaking a foreign language to me

>>16420717
It's like Amazon KDP, but all of the books are free

>>16420673
Thanks for posting my novel as well, anon. I've been making some decent progress on it

>>16420755
What is Wuxia? Is it like Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon floating flying stuff?

https://youtu.be/KXIJv1NoXmo

>>16420694
It's a site where you can post your orginial literature and get no readers because you're not doing litrpg reincarnation evolution shit.

You can also find some pretty interesting books, like the one about the god passively influencing a race of lizards and you can find books with a metric ton of wasted potential such as the book where a genuinely fun and scary horror exploration books turns into a "quirky" romance plot. Fuck that particular author, despite the somewhat wimpy characters it had such good potential. Why did he have to ruin it all, who in the fucking world asked for romance? It should be criminal I tell you.

>>16419703
incorporate it into the novel youre currently writing

>>16420773
Yeah, basically. Crouching tiger is considered Wuxia. Though I'm modelling my story after some of the original Wuxia novels that were also historical fiction. So it's supernatural martial arts fighting amidst a fictionalized version of a political intrigue that actually happened.

While growing up I was always annoyed that all of the good Wuxia novels were only in Mandarin, so I thought it'd be fun to write my own in English

>>16420429
OK I'll do it in a bit.

>>16420694
>>16420717
It's one of the sites for releasing stuff in a web novel format—in other words releasing chapters on a set basis, either daily or once/twice a week. Think old fashioned pulp fiction or whatever but mainly free with the chance to donate to authors.

As the other anon pointed out it's pretty much the den of litrpg or isekai. And much like the other web novel sites it has it's lions share of amateur and aspiring writers as well as semi professional ones.

>>16420792
I apologize but I have to rant about this.

The book was easily an 8/10, sure, the protagonists were wimpy and had some pretty weak internal conflict(they were sad that their new powers allowed them to be violent, this is despite them doing nothing besides violent things when they're exploring), but god damn, the author wrote action scenes so well, the exploration was divine and there was this genuine mystery and eldritch dread to the whole thing. I loved it, it was almost exactly what I always wanted.

Cue the fucking out of nowhere romance plot. Suddenly, a previously unmentioned crush gets revealed to us, and oh I knew, no I fucking KNEW from that point on that the story would eventually crash, and boy was I right. After a tense arc with interesting new creatures, locales and fights all of the goods parts of the story are put on pause so that the author can spend time bringing in a COMPLETELY USELESS LOVE INTEREST into a fucking exploration story, not an isekai, not classic fantasy or sci fi, no, a horror exploration story.
Adventure on par with the best of them was put on pause so that the author could add a """quirky""", flat and "badass" tomboy character to tease the protagonist. I could deal with ONE thing in this story, I could deal with the characters wimpiness, I could MAYBE have dealt with the girl by herself. But put together any redeemable qualities the characters might have had are thrown out in favor of having them act like shy children experiencing their first romance.

God I'm mad, the author didn't ruin his story, he murdered it.

>>16420859
What novel are you talking about?

>>16420885
https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/15925/the-daily-grind

This one

>>16420888
The premise does sound very interesting. Seems like a lot of the reviewers agree with you on the author murdering the story. The damn thing is over 2000 pages long now as well

>>16420926
For what it's worth I recomend reading all the way until they get back from exploring the more claustrophobic offices. It's pretty good until then.

>>16420851
>weekly writing updates
>no overarching edits and revisions
>constant deadlines that don't account for the ebb and flow of productivity
>no ability to rewrite earlier pieces

Why would anyone think this is a good format?

>>16421049
It's not a particularly amazing format, but it can be good for novels that you're just using as writing practice. Personally, it's helped me stay productive since I feel obligated to get a chapter out within a specific timeframe. There's also nothing stopping you from going back and editing/revising early chapters

>>16421049
In my case I spent a solid week rewriting about 6 beginning chapters that stood out like an ugly duckling into 8 new ones to fit into my narrative style after almost half a year of putting them off and finally a few complaints about them. if only because I wanted to distract myself from writing the next few chapters that I can't emotionally prepare myself to write just yet. That was probably the most brutal week I've ever experienced since it was just about as much as I would write over the span of a month and a half.

Deadlines aren't set in stone and nobody will (probably) hold you accountable if you miss a few days beyond one. Readers are busy and have lives and other fictions to follow/hobbies to do. Can't say I can comment on the other points though.

It can, depending on the writer, be hard to sometimes go back though. I know from experience in non-writing creative hobbies that revising stuff is not always for the better. I won't deny that kind of format almost demands you to keep a forward mindset, but at the end of the day it is up to you if you want to go back and look at older chapters with new fresh of eyes.

>>16421049
Lots of old novels were written this way. They were originally serial chapters that were published in weekly newspapers

>>16420429
>>16420826
1/2

Bernard was completely at fault. All the kids and parents saw him do it. Even the family dog, Bingo, shuffled away in embarrassment.

So what if it was his first day on the job? No one could tolerate such obscenities. Kids up at night, asking dad about the bump on the purple fox. ‘No, Timmy. It’s not real. He was a bad clown. Forget about it.’

But Timmy didn’t forget, and neither did the parents. They came for Bernard, a mob armed with Periscope live streams, masks, and fog horns, police quietly in tow. Their children’s pestering questions echoed in their minds: ’But it wasn’t just the fox. The giraffe had it too. Was it another leg, papa?’

“Open up, Mr. Clown!” a police officer shouted outside Bernard’s apartment door. Bernard happened to live down the stairs in the basement unit. They didn’t see him looking up from the ground-level window.

Bernard slunk into the shadows and took a swig from his vodka bottle. It was a stupid job with a stupid costume. Yet on that day, he’d been looking forward to it. He actually cared about making the kids laugh. But when he got there, they were all pointing and laughing at him. The parents watched him with cold suspicion, whispering to each other in between sips of beer. ‘Glad I’m not that guy.’

It was nerves. Not that they cared. He was guilty the minute he walked into that backyard birthday party. ‘Hiya, kids! Wanna see a balloon trick?’

>>16421174
2/2

The first balloon animal turned out OK. A little bit disfigured, but passable. The trouble began with the second one and became a catastrophe through the third, fourth, fifth, and six. That was when the parents firmly asked him to leave. But Bernard wasn’t a quitter. Leave his first gig as a party clown? Never!

So he doubled down, sweat running down his pasty white face as he sprinted from the parents in his bare feet. Bingo stole a discarded clown shoe and dragged it to the playhouse for defilement, while Bernard tied balloon after balloon and threw them into the air like a juiced up slot machine.

“Get the fuck out of here!” the dad with the biggest belly shouted as he wrestled Bernard to the exit.

“Oh yeah? Oh yeah? I bet you’re not even circumcised!” Bernard shot back.

“Piece of shit. Show your face around here again and I’ll… I’ll…” He clenched his jaw and shoved Bernard down the driveway.

“Mr. Clown! This is Detective Sokolov. We know you’re in there.”

Bernard bit his tongue at the memory of the backyard birthday and drank more vodka. How dare they treat him like this. It was an honest mistake. The rubber got warm from the sun and stretched in the wrong places, making the animals come out weird. Did that make him a criminal?

Bernard’s door fell down with a crash. The police moved aside and the mob rushed in. “He’s here! I see him!”

Bernard spewed vodka at the woman’s face, blinding her. He dashed for the window, but it was too late. They grabbed him by the ankles and dragged him into the street…

>>16420287
tik tok

How do I make a world? I want to make a fantasy world, but how do I avoid just making it 1700s Europe with different names?

>>16421787
Hell if I know. I'm sure there are some good books out there on the topic

>>16421868
But books are for nerds :(

>>16421787
Just make it like Tolkeins LOTR world but change it up a little bit. That's what 95% of fantasy is

>>16418914
"Did you see that?"

"Hmm?"

"There's an animal in the lake,"

I took off my sunglasses and sat up, looking at where she pointed at to see small ripples breaking the water's calm surface.

"What did it look like?" I asked, Rosalba.

"It looked like a crocodile's head,"

"It must have been a sturgeon,"

"It was just floating there, still as can be,"

I stared at the spot she had pointed at for a moment, thinking, that was odd, before turning to her with a slight smile.

"Maybe it was a lake monster,"

"Real funny," she murmured as she wrapped her arms around herself.

"Are you spooked?"

"A little. It just looked so damn odd. It really looked like a crocodile's-There! Look!"

I turned my head to see a slick, tannish, hump break the water thirty meters from the raft before sinking. It reappeared again in seconds coming towards the raft before sinking again. I stood up and looked down at the dark water.

"Holy fuck!" I exclaimed as tannish skin moved just below the surface.

It looked as thick as a log pole and the word serpent came to mind as I moved to the other end of the raft to catch view of it for how many seconds before it disappeared.

"What is it?! What did you see?!"

I was in too much of an awe to speak as my heart raced in my chest. I looked around for a moment, seeing if it popped up anywhere else, before finally finding a semblance of words.

"It...it looked like a monster," I said, bluntly.

She made a face and opened her mouth to say something but stopped midway and stared at me.

"Monster?" She said, quietly.

I looked around quickly before addressing her.

"I don't know how else to describe it other then the word serpent. It's definitely not a sturgeon,"

"You should get away from the edge," She said, holding out her arms.

I moved away and embraced her as I looked around and spotted a wake, forty meters away. I watched it, intently, zoning out what she was saying, causing her to look.

"Hey," She said, grabbing ahold of my face and forcing me to look at her," Let's go,"

"But isn't this exciting?" I smiled," We could be the first ones to witness-,"

"A monster?"

"Yes! If not that, an entirely undiscovered species. It could be the last of it's kind!"

"What if it's dangerous? You remember that car in the lot? We haven't seen any sign of anyone since we've been here. What if it preys on people?"

My smile started to fade as I looked into her concerned grey eyes. I thought back to the aged, tannish, skin I saw and her words from earlier.

"You're right," I said, as I grabbed ahold of her hand and went to the edge.

>>16422025
I looked around before easing into the water with her, not wanting to jump and draw it's attention, as we started to make our way to the shore. We only made it fourteen feet before a coil of tannish flesh floated to the surface ahead of us. I bumped into it, unable to control my momentum. It felt exactly like the underbelly of a salmon and it was warm. I cried out as I back stroked away from it only to bump into Rosalba. I snapped my head to her before looking at what she was staring at. It was only for the briefest moment as it's head descended back into the water, but the eyes, it's jet black eyes were burned into my brain. Because the raft was close by, I shouted at her to swim for it. The mound of flesh in front of us moved closer towards us as Rosalba screamed.

I felt it's flesh move around my legs and disappear as Rosalba was dragged through the water straight toward the raft. She grabbed and held onto it desperately as I furiously dashed towards it. I again felt the sickeningly smooth flesh as I neared the raft. For a few terrifying seconds, I think the thing is going to wrap around me in a coil as it curves past me. It's open mouth breaks the surface and snaps down onto my left arm. There's a pain that feels as though I stuck it into a fire. It's widened, almost excited, jet black eyes meet my terrified cobalt blue eyes and then it snapped my arm away below the elbow.

I screamed into the sky as a gout of blood splashed against my face. I flail so helplessly in the mix of water and blood, before I feel something grazing against me. I went absolutely rigid, thinking it was the monster, before I looked at Rosalba's pale, terrified face, grimacing. She's reaching out to me. I gained a moment of clarity as I gripped the edge of the raft and pulled and struggled onto the raft, before finally achieving it. I collapse against the wooden boards to see nothing past Rosalba's thighs but a trail of blood. Her stumps didn't look ragged but as though they were cut off instead of a savage bite. I stared at them, panting, as the feeling of pain began to ebb away. I watched the blood leaking out from her only trickle before within maybe twenty seconds, stop entirely.

https://www.webtoons.com/en/supernatural/the-world-where-i-belong/list?title_no=1318

I love this webtoon. All anons should read it if you want to relieve Oyasumi Punpun nostalgia.

>>16422198
>Oyasumi Punpun
Why did people like that shit again? I gave it a try because a 9/10 chick I wanted to bang recommended it to me but boi, it was dull. Needless to say, the plan didn't work out either.

>>16422325
I thought autists attract other autists? Oyasumi Punpun is what a 4channer could be through their life if there's no 4chan at all

>tfw wrote more than 4000 words this evening
>tfw might write even more later

I'm in the endgame, the climax, the finale of this big work of mine. I'm a pantser, rather than a plotter, so the vast majority of this story of mine, other than the broad character arcs and the key details, I have made up along the way. I've basically ruminated and prayed on how to proceed each step of the way.

Until I have gotten to THIS, the endgame. The ending of this story has been in my head for years. Actually, with THIS story, I have had the ending for it in mind for more than a decade. So I know exactly how it is going to go, and so it's flying. I'm just cranking it out. It's so exciting.

>>16422413
Glad to hear it, man. Enjoy the rush to the fullest.

>>16422413
Nice progress, anon. I haven't written anything for the past couple days because I'm still trying to figure out how I want to handle the next chapter

>>16418914
>The next JK Rowling in this thread?
My novel is going to be to Harry Potter as Lord of the Flies is to The Coral Island. Watch for me as I hit it big.

>>16422924
So obscure that I've literally never heard of it before in my entire life?

>>16422993
Still querying.

>>16422997
What's the request rate so far?

hey anons I'm trying to get better at writing for the first time, I wrote some scifi in the universe that's been in my head for a long time but it feels really soulless, someone recommended I write drama so I get better at the writing part without relying on the world too much so I've started trying to do that but I'm spending more time reading literature I really liked in the past to see how the authors actually write people so I've gone back to only writing a few hundred words a day. Could anyone give me some feedback on the vignette I wrote up? I really hate it, and I keep pruning at it but its not getting any better.

anyway here it is:
https://pastebin.com/6XzRTdPR

>>16422029
why did that guy and his girlfriend swim toward the terrifying sea monster? Is it the stupid people in horror trope?

>>16423306
You're trying too hard. Read Techniques of the Selling Writer

>>16418914
I was wondering if someone could /crit/ this? I’m worried that my prose is a bit too purple.

She slept beneath a sea of stars. Soft eastern wind swept down the high hills and low places of the wilderness. Feeling it brush past her fingers and hair, she awoke at last and saw the blue night rising over her. It would be around this time for men of the wood to close and lock their doors, animals to emerge from the thick brush, and for giants to wade through trees like tall grass. With the moon hanging low, the world was as quiet and still as it always had been. But in secret, she knew this night would be different. There were stars beyond stars which had risen again, and now rested above everything. All she had to do was wait, and there would soon be wonder.

Autumn had finally arrived with his cool breath. Many leaves had flown off as the wind went, only to sink lower and become lost in black undergrowth. There, fell logs and stones lay hidden amidst wild stalks of grass. The land was also cluttered with far reaching trees, dark and swaying. Each passing breeze sent their branches rustling softly against each other, the sound like clear ocean water spreading itself against a distant shore. Hidden in bushes and trees were crickets chattering out to one another in continuous noise. Grass scratched against thick tree bark, the sound growing. All the while there could be heard the low hum of giant’s song, through hill and valley, blending into the forest’s sweet sound. Her music filled the holes and hollows.

Old lanterns dotted the wood, painting with orange brushes. Some hung low on branches, a few found themselves in bushes and burrows, all alive, all awake. But there was one wrapped in a frame of dark metal, resting on the porch of a far off cabin. Flies and moths fluttered near like floating dust. Half settled in darkness was an empty rocking chair tilting to and fro. It’s sound seeped through the wood floor and down into deep earth. Through dirty windows came the flickering of hearthfire and shadows, with whispered words escaping through cracks in the walls. All of a sudden, there came a metallic creak, and the door swung open.

What came out from the door first was a voice, “Right! We better get to it,”

I just wrote this

https://pastebin.com/595mphYY

critique me daddy

Help me out
I havent written that much and little of it has been literary
However for the past 2 months I've spent many hours per day seriously brainstorming ideas for a novel which serves as a response to a very contemporary story trope isekai that many people are already starting to get bored of
Though the story was initially simply a response to the trope it ended up developing into a very personal exploration of my fears and insecurities, and I doubt such a personal story would attract an audience if the trope its responding to continues to fall out of favor, which I think is already starting to happen

My current source of anxiety rests on me doubting wether I have enough writing prowess to give a fair treatment to the story I wanna tell, however if I spend time developing my skills the trope might fall out of favor (can be argued it already is starting to) and i'd be screwed

So from a reductionist point of view, im asking how can I teach myself how to write well (whatever that means) in a relatively short time frame

Should I even try to improve my writing beforehand or would it be better to just jump straight in and try to improve as I go on?

thanks

>>16423430
Just jump straight in. Your first novel is not going to be very good, but you'll at least learn a lot from it so that you're better prepared the second time around. There are some books you can read that give you a bunch of info on how to improve, but some of the topics they touch upon may not make a whole lot of sense until you've tried and failed a bit

>>16423430
>So from a reductionist point of view, im asking how can I teach myself how to write well (whatever that means) in a relatively short time frame
Self-set deadlines. Discipline. For a more spartan way of going about it, start weekly serial writing, though that make quality still suffer a bit.

>>16423350
hey thanks this books like exactly what I need to hear

>>16420582
he's still a virgin, ashamed of it, and wants to meet someone he cares about

>>16423469
I forgot to tell you my thoughts on it earlier, but since you're here now I'll point out a couple things.

Some of the sentences read kinda awkwardly.

>I moved to the other end of the raft to catch view of it for how many seconds before it disappeared.
Just be specific. Say a few seconds, or even a second, because the way you have it reads very oddly

>I watched it, intently, zoning out what she was saying, causing her to look.
Break this thought up into multiple sentences. You have multiple actions clashing together in a single sentence

>I thought back to the aged, tannish, skin I saw and her words from earlier.
Remove the second comma. You don't technically even need the first, but that comes down to style. Generally it's better to not have a ton of commas cluttering up your sentence. I recommend reading your sentences aloud and pausing at the commas to see how it flows.

I looked back to the aged
tanish
skin I saw and her words from earlier.

Versus: I looked back to the aged tanish skin I saw and her words from earlier.

>>16423499
That's not me but thanks for the feedback.. Always looking for ways to improve my style, that's why I posted it.

>>16423499
>>16423530
sorry anon I clicked on the wrong reply, I meant to reply to the guy recommending me techniques of the selling writer, apologies

>>16423546
It's alright, I was also the one who recommended that book anyways

>>16423306
well, the subject matter is really interesting. After all, who doesn't like spaceships going pew pew? But despite it being an action scene, it's really plodding, slow, and jargony. I'm not a good writer myself so I don't know how to fix it

How many words is a normal royaleroad posting? How many views have y’all got on your work? How long (both time and words) has it bee going?

Why would people post to Royal Road, which is completely free and writers can't make money, when Wattpad offers a way for writers to make money?

>>16423756
Follow up, can you do footnotes on royal road?

>>16423732
>How many words is a normal royaleroad posting?
2k~3k seems to be a /average/ consensus, give or take.

> How many views have y’all got on your work?
9,392 total views, was almost 11k but had to do rewrite and unique views are tied to individual chapters, so it shrank to mid 8k before it jumped up again.

>How long (both time and words) has it bee going?
Originally started publishing in March, a week later I got told the original narrative was not interesting to read, so I wound up doing a few rewrites, then did more rewrites recently that got rid of the original narrative that didn't fit in the story anymore so there isn't any real trace of stuff from back in the inital March week anymore.

>>16423756
You can absolutely make money from RL. It has this system where you can do one-time donations on paypal or support on patron. There's quite a few successful ones that reap in lots of money in the case of the latter. Scribblehub also does something similar.

>>16423775
yes, you can do pre and post chapter author notes.

>>16423756
You can make money on RR, though. The site gives you an option to integrate patreon and paypal

>>16423732
People have varying chapter lengths, and there's no consensus as to what is better. Anywhere from 1-2k is the average. A lot of authors opt for shorter chapters so that they can release chapters more frequently.

I'm at about 400 views now, a little over 10k words, and I've been going at it for a few weeks. My genre isn't particularly popular even outside of the site right now, so you could be doing better if you write an isekai or something

>>16423722
well the jargony and slow part definitely help me get a feel for whats wrong, I'm trying to introduce all the important tech in my setting in the middle of an action scene, I'll try to do a rewrite and take out as much of the exposition as possible and see if I like it better but everything you mentioned is kind of what I hate about it. Thanks for at least liking the subject matter, I feel kind of hacky writing stuff like this but that might just be because I'm a bad writer right now

Can you "suspend" or "temporarily unpublish" a story on Royal Road or Wattpad? Amazon requires digital exclusivity for 90 days if you join their Kindle Select program, so if I first publish on RR or WP, I'll need a way to pause it while it's on Kindle Select

>>16423797
On RL I've seen a few authors that just delete all their chapters (not permanently, though, more like soft delete you can restore any time) and leave only a single announcement chapter plugging their Amazon/Kindle stuff.

>>16423807
What's RL?

>>16423808
Royalroad

>>16423797
As far as I'm aware, no. You'd have remove all of the chapters

>>16423784
>My genre isn't particularly popular even outside of the site right now, so you could be doing better if you write an isekai or something
I’m thinking about going all out absurd burgerpunk and call it scifi. I’ve got a few beginning scraps of a story about a delivery guy that would only be interesting if the plot continued to get more absurd interspersed with ramblings and footnotes. I haven’t been writing for a while because the one thing I want to write is serious and gives me anxiety when I open the document. RR might be fun to try a bunch of short experimental excerpts.

>>16418914
Wrote about 2000ish words last night in a fury. I like to take it slower and make sure my sentences are well-crafted. What do you guys do?

>>16423756
Probably for the audience. RR specialises in fantasy. Wattpad looks like most works are just teen romance or coming of age stories.

>>16423756
Why not both?

Also why are you writing if you care about money.

>>16423797
>Amazon requires digital exclusivity for 90 days if you join their Kindle Select program
If you're going with the jews, then you're with the jews, don't post anywhere else or you're asking for trouble.

>>16423838
But Bezos-sama isn't Jewish

>>16423820
I say go for it. Have fun with it. The novel I'm writing right now is mostly for practice, and would just be sitting on my HD unread if I weren't posting it to RR. I'm sure that a few people will find whatever you write and enjoy it

>>16423844
Nobody knows, he's kept his religion a secret. The richest man in the world not jewish? Don't make me laugh

>>16423844
The only cracker who could outjew the jews. And he did it in the most mundane way possible too.

>>16423387
>sea of stars
cliche in the very first sentence. freshen your imagery.
overall, this is purple mud. water doesn't rustle. crickets don't really chatter; ever heard one? chattering implies a randomness, whereas crickets' songs are patterned and predictable. we have half a paragraph of descriptions of how the forest sounds, but it's still difficult to grasp how it really *sounds.* "painted with orange brushes"? i don't recall what color the brush i used to paint my living room was; i do recall the color of the paint.
you might think these are nitpicks, but you've given little else to go on. what you gave us is a description — with no action — so ANY failure of your imagery is magnified. tl;dr: fewer adjectives, more action.

>>16423306
>>16423794
https://pastebin.com/Ppct4jcX

hey, me again, this time with significantly less jargon. I really feel the trying too hard thing, Im going to say this is done and start reading techniques of the selling writer. If nothing else I'm realising that I can let a story sit on the setting rather than having to push it every chance I get. Maybe I can sprinkle in the jargon once people are interested in the actual writing

Thanks for the helps anons, this time it feels like I didn't get in my way as much, but I wasn't sure how to include the likening to the imagery of a fish swimming through bullet fire so I just stated it, any advice on that would be appreciated.

>>16419343
Who's Lenny?

>>16423958
Do you think it be better if paragraph 3 proceeded paragraph 1 instead of 2, so that the action is presented quicker?

>>16423983
it's not a matter of moving graphs around. it's a matter of the sequencing within each paragraph. imagine driving down a country road. the scenery all blends together around you, and because there's so much of it, you're barely conscious of it; you have no focal point; it's basically ambient noise. but then a deer jumps into the road, and you suddenly are jerked back into focus.
large swaths of scene-setting are invitations for the reader to tune out. if you want to keep their attention, you have to put deer in there, and regularly. i like to think of linguistic prosody as a metaphor; english is a stress-timed language, with roughly the same amount of time between stressed syllables; maybe try for event-timed prose, with a consistent time between events? it would at least be more gripping than what you have now.

>>16424011
So I should go into how the sounds of the forest aren’t necessarily a sum of its parts, but rather a messy soup of sounds that are difficult to distinguish, one sound overlapping another and so on?

>>16423970
The retarded guy from Of Mice and Men

>>16424024
intersperse them with the action.
>moths played by the cracks in the cabin wall where whispers and lamplight leaked out, until all of a sudden, there came a metallic creak, and the door swung open. it sliced through the hum of the forest, sharper than the crickets' constant fugue and more grating than the rasp of the tallgrass and the branches. "Right! We better get to it!" The words grappled with the giant's throbbing song and the ten million tiny sounds of the forest. she jolted out of her half-slumber on the hillside.

>>16424011
Also, is your main concern with the first two sentences of paragraph 1 and 3 as well as all of paragraph 2, or is there more stuff I should examine.

>>16424066
But I don’t want the forest to be presented in such a way. I want to treat it as a living thing, working together with all of the animal who live within it to express herself as one being. In this, the forest is portrayed as some lifeless thing, when that’s not what I was going for.

>>16424081
if the forest is really a character, then treat it like one. don't spend pages upon pages describing how it looks, how its voice sounds. tell me what it DOES. tell me how the animals work together. tell me how it acts like a living thing. i get none of that from your original post. if this confuses you, you need to stop writing stories and start painting landscapes, because narrative just isn't for you.

>>16424125
Based.

>>16424125
Fuck man, I thought I actually had something with this intro. I really liked it too. :(

>>16424222
a good starting point: try writing something that you think achieves the same effect, but without using any adjectives or adverbs.

>>16424323
I actually have something. It actually starts off in that same cabin, but from an inward perspective. It goes straight into action and characterization.

“Right then, where are we heading?”
Sounds of ceramic against sanded wood filled the cabin as Dasa slid drinks to his guests. It had been a few weeks since company came knocking on his door, so he wanted to treat them with proper cup ware, the good ones with blue flecks all around that he only saved for certain occasions. Real glass, he thought to himself, that’s sure to impress them. He held a worn wooden mug in his one hand which sloshed around as he got out chairs suitable to their sizes, and for himself laid out a long carpet of many colors.

Basically, Dasa is a 14 foot giant housing foreign travelers getting to a new town. The reason that glass cups are considered impressive is because the nearby town doesn’t have glass cookware as a major export nor import, so they’re quite rare and used for special occasions.

>>16424380
I like that passage

What is /wg/'s consensus on only writing in pen & paper versus digital typing? I'm beginning to think that there is no advantage, (barring the ones that come from staring at a screen for too long) in non-digital writing.
Any luddites care to reply?

>>16424651
Easier to get in the flow with pen and paper and turn off your self-editor.

Someone give me a writing prompt + word for my practice today.

>>16424831
A geriatric man tries to get a dead raccoon out of his useless grandson's swimming pool

>>16424838
OK I'll post it later.

>>16419703
start writing the other novel

How do you stop yourself from just writing edgy dribble?

>>16424932
I don't need to, I'm a very wholesome person. Edgy things don't appeal to me much.

>>16424932
Stop only caring about yourself. Great art can't arise from 'look at me', but it can from 'look at this'.

Posted in /sff/ and thought I'd cross post here. I'm working on abridging the Sanderson trilogy of Wheel of Time. It will take me more time, so I figure now is a good time to get some more people to proof read the Jordan books. The abridged series thus far:
> Approximately -25% cut to each of books 1-6.
> Books 7-8 combined into one.
> Books 9-11 combined into one.
> TBD: Books 12-14 combined into one.
I've had one round of beta, but it's nice to have more. If there's interest let me know and please indicate whether you're a WoT noob or re-reader.

>>16424932
embrace it

>>16424932
Write whatever you want and make it as good as it can be. Some people will like it, others will call it dribble.

I saw someone recomened lord of mysteries, typical crappy isekai webnovel thing, the prose is so terrible I can't believe stuff like this makes money, it's actually insane to me

>>16425233
I was curious and looked into it. Isn't it a chinese webnovel? Shouldn't the blame be placed on the translators for the prose being crappy?

Hey lads I’m half way done with this poem, could you lads tell me how it sound so far? I still need another 200 lines.

1 The Ancient of days gazes, he looks upon his Jewel
2 black fire upon white fire, one light the book of life
3 all and naught and beyond this, all for The lord’s renewal

4 naught unveiled and all veiling, by contrast the root of strife
5 True Da’ath dwells between yes and no, their arguing must resolve
6 thus were boundless worlds produced, divided as by a knife

7 from yes does all congeal, and from no does all dissolve
8 and in this is a secret, no was the very first yes
9 for denial affirms lack, thus did the jewel revolve

10 denial denied itself, all was gained by this process
11 endless lights and worlds declared, “behold I am different”
12 united by difference , they spoke “let us both ingress”

13 lights reflected upon lights, all was vociferant
14 The lord said “let there be light, and my light be my lightning”
15 the light coalesced itself, in it a heart indifferent

16 this heart became mauve and dart, the flashing sword frightening
17 the mauve lightning was hurled forth, thus was the emptiness filled
18 lighting mingled with lightning, to itself enlightening

19 brought to light first was True I, and I was truly fulfilled
20 the soul of i is the Gem, but also its possesser
21 Thus I was aware and spoke, “I Will all that Will be Willed”

22 thus I looked upon myself, saying “Eh’yah esher”
23 and I looked upon myself, as if within a mirror
24 I and the mirror of i, thus I sought out my treasure

25 I became empty to fill, thus to i, I drew nearer
26 I enters the Great Mirror, dwelling within it rainbow
27 thus I was blinded of I, yet all did become clearer

28 above a land desolate, unmoving and filled with snow
29 there always a child does rest, ever spinning in itself
30 like a lie about a lie, by the dream the child does know

31 holy Fire invisible, in dream reveals himself
32 where he turns his sight is flame, very fire of knowledge
33 Fire creates the absence, Absence of self filled by self

34 absence and presence mingle, the child can now acknowledge
35 the paradox of knowledge, his own heart is Aporia
36 “I am i by I am not, knowledge gained through unknowledge “

37 the child beheld burning I, engulfed in theoria
38 “I alone am King and Lord, desire unquenchable
39 moves me to expand myself, for endless euphoria”

40 thus the elements were formed, and all things now sensible
41 and he declared “lo! behold!, I make all good and evil!”
42 with this his hand pushed the wheel, his hand formed the pentacle

43 with radiance he seen I, I the Rainbow primeval
44 i divided sevenfold, I spoke “I, thou and other
45 let us divide and mingle, by this the great retrieval”

>>16425436

46 mingling produced many, First the Father and Brother
47 the Father-Brother spoke first “I shall form the man and bride”
48 thus were all things set in chains, the birth of the Great Mother

49 and she gave birth to many, and all things were glorified
50 first born was the elder Sun, the sun revealed the question
51 and all things are in question, but by light they must abide

52 thus was the sun exalted, none to stop his ascension
53 first he cast light upon north, and from the north a sickle
54 and the sickle answered first “naught shall stop thy progression”

55 thus the accursed lord of time, who’s heart is ever fickle
56 bound all within a circle, “none shall enter this stream twice”
57 thus eternity did hide, as time began to trickle

58 with Time arose rich and poor, for time had casted the dice
59 fate and chance are one to time, two players a single game
60 thus all was traded for much, wealth desires sacrifice

61 and the kings of the world, fought for a a bit of great fame
62 thus were the armies called forth, and the whole world is shaken
63 mighty men judged each other, all abhorring any shame

64 and the whole world in chaos, for their Will is mistaken
65 and men cried and clenched their teeth, begging for a redeemer
66 and the son of God listened, the son of man awakened

67 and by his passion made pure, men understood the dreamer
68 and the world encircled him, obeying his Great Glory
69 and these are the words he spoke, the words of the great Teacher.

70 “I shall speak of long ago, I shall tell you the story
71 of when difference was born, when light gave way to color
72 and by this shall beauty reign, I will answer your query

73 colorless brightness shined forth, but then it became duller
74 this revealed boundless color, then one arise to see it
75 and he rejected colors, his heart did he discolor

76 like a warrior with blade, he divided cleaved and split
77 the colors from each other, “I shall create harmony,
78 the colors arranged by I, structured by my very wit

79 he arranged them by reason, with perfect monotony
80 violet, indigo blue, green yellow orange and red
81 thus all colors were arranged, i not-i dichotomy

82 The violet king came first, ancient and resting in bed
83 and under him boundless dark, he dreamed of all suffering
84 and here is the dream of he, who’s soul is terrible dread

85 he saw himself so joyous, indigo king thundering
86 and the king commanded play, many were called as players
87 he chose one to direct them, direction and governing

88 and the blue governor, he treated them as strangers
89 the king would bless and praise them, the governor would punish
90 and this is what was performed, to gain the kingly favors

>>16425450

91 arrayed in heavenly dress, a goddess walking sluggish
92 she held a Green marked Symbol, solving ancient hexagram
93 and a star fell from heaven, the Star was to be punished

94 but the fallen star called out, “star of the lion and lamb
95 come I hold the orange scale, come I am the yellow star
96 by passion I call thee forth, passion to see who I am

97 her countenance became red, strangely her mouth went ajar
98 she gave him the hexagram, hexagram mixed with venom
99 the stars united and went, as a dragon going far

100 thus the dragon’s heart was stone, but in it burned the spectrum
101 he tasted the first The END, he then spit it into depths
102 and he himself hid therein, leaving only an emblem

103 stone emblem of a woman, arms opened, all she accepts
104 and many came and worshipped, many sought her protection
105 a priest of her did proclaim, “all thy sins she intercepts

106 but many cults praised the stone, from this arose much tension
107 chief among them was ten sects, each had Seven key doctrines
108 The Stemmanites declared first, by these gain resurrection

109 obey the first commandment, praise the Crowned Lord Atmatrines
110 for they are from beginning, they shall be after you pass
111 obey the lord atmatrines, and his chosen the sovereigns

112 behold the next commandment, know this world is but pure glass
113 there is nothing but the lord, and his sigil of twilight
114 always look upon twilight, into twin light you shall pass

115 obey the third commandment, the astral is true eyesight
116 stain your eyes with astral lights, the figures of Stars do know
117 thus shall they guide you always, even under the daylight

118 behold the next commandment, Rest In Peace, others shall go
119 let slip from you the struggle, it is not yours to conquer
120 all will be entertainment, this world shall be but a show

121 obey the fifth commandment, cultivate from the darker
122 for light taken from darkness, such light is everlasting
123 to the world you shall be light, all shall see thee a marker

124 behold the next commandment, do not perform much chanting
125 chanting is the art of filth, the sophanite heresy
126 suffering follows much speech, suffering and much panting

127 and the final commandment, she fills you with ecstasy
128 for the emblem marks the END, is she not from our king?
129 Aurelia precedes THE END, declare her supremacy

130 behold the mighty doctrines, those proclaimed by they who Sing
131 for we have learned true wisdom, we have learned the song of flame
132 we hold the horns of the deer, we hold the vigor of spring

133 Obey the first commandment, I and other are the same
134 both the hunter and hunted, neither has difference
135 abide in this state always, all shall unveil as a game

>>16425456

136 behold the next commandment, you must abhor ignorance
137 the voice of wisdom is God, all wisdom is his prophet
138 come therefore! always listen!, for speech is deliverance

139 obey the third commandment, do not partake of scarlet
140 the children of Morbina, they who have scarlet shadow
141 they stain wisdom with their blood, they come forth from the harlot

142 behold the next commandment, honor holy tobacco
143 for in it is a secret, for in it is the great peace
144 it is the Lord’s true incense, the Lord tri-bim-ac-o

145 obey the fifth commandment, always go forth! do not cease!
146 we shall not ever taste death, only the dead shall taste rest
147 by this all will be given, by this shall you not increase?

148 behold the next commandment, you shall not suffer a guest
149 the art of Verstehenites, foolish they go but seek home
150 thus they seek that which is not, hark! they shall never be blessed!

151 and the final commandment, you must treat her as your own
152 she who ever hunts the END, is not her body wisdom?
153 Aurelia precedes The END, She comes from the idol Stone

154 witness the accursed doctrines, held by those who are victim
155 for they were cursed to wander, seeking but a quiet home
156 all was unspeakably loud, silence to them a kingdom

157 obey the first Commandment, never rest and always roam
158 for there is a home hidden, a home With silent delights
159 cacophony unveils then, horrible with eyes of chrome

160 behold the next commandment, do not look upon their lights
161 their form is Metallic lights, to see them is to taste lead
162 taste is followed by vision, vision unveils evil sights

163 obey the third commandment, you must not grieve for the dead
164 shades pass through dreaded Acheron, the thread of Destiny flows
165 grieving inverts the river, grief reels back and warps the thread

166 behold the next commandment, upon your bosom a rose
167 the rose is full of beauty, the rose is guarded by thorns
168 reject the chromatic lights, by silence the true rose grows

169 obey the fifth commandment, rebuke the rider of storms
170 heavy wind and thunder roars, are these not sigilic gates?
171 the Fel God who cursed us rides, rebuke least your soul transforms

172 behold the next commandment, mock not the Charisanites fates
173 upon them is the vile curse, yet all they see is blessing
174 they wail like the wild thunder, their skin is like metal plates


175 and the final commandment, Blame her not for thy vexing
176 she is the maker of homes, endless silence flows from her
177 Aurelia precedes The END, nothing shall stay perplexing

178 Hark! behold! the blessed doctrines! each word anointed with myrrh!
179 accept the gift of the fall! shout for glory! shout for joy!
180 come forth strong drink and much food! come with myrrh admixed liqueur!

>>16425463

181 obey the first commandment, all sorrow you must destroy
182 for this world is your kingdom, a lovely pleasure garden
183 celebrate! rejoice! go forth! go! enjoy! enjoy! enjoy!


184 behold the next commandment, thy heart mustn’t harden
185 though fortunes wheel ever spins, is not the spin great fortune?
186 rise like a man and speak thus, “thou malice I give pardon”

187 obey the third commandment, consider nothing foreign
188 are you not brother to all? are you not born of thunder?
189 now you dwell in thy palace, know you dwell in blessed charan

190 behold the next commandment, forests must induce wonder
191 rain pours over mighty trees, thunder is born as the trees
192 partake of its many gifts, tear animals asunder

193 obey the sixth commandment, follow the chromatic breeze
194 chromatic wind is the mark, the sign of our great lord
195 the ischyrosians shall fall, punished for the ancient keys

196 and the final commandment, obey her she is his sword
197 she is the great completion, the box which hides the lord’s gift
198 Aurelia Precedes THE END, she is his chest-box and hoard

199 unlock the mighty doctrines! they unworthy cannot lift
200 with the claws of the tiger, with the power of workmen
201 unlock your most ancient gates, from the path you must not drift

>>16425233
Chinks read chink shit and pay for it, and there are a billion chinks out there, some crazy enough to read the same shit in english too, it's not rocket science

How do I write poetry?
Do I need to follow a bunch of rules, and have a set number of syllables per line?
Does it matter if they are nonsense?

>>16425738
If you want to write specific type of poetry, you need to adhere to the form of that specific poetry. Like, you can't make a haiku unless it's following the 5-7-5 syllable format.
But nobody's telling you to pick a form and stick to it, it's up to you to choose how to express yourself.
>Does it matter if they are nonsense?
Not necessarily.

>>16425738
>Do I need to follow a bunch of rules
only if you're born in le wrong generation like most of /lit/

>>16425738

Read poetry first, you’ll want to write like the poetry you enjoy the most. I try to write for example using only 14 syllables divided into two 7’s and these I write in a ABA/ BCB etc pattern. I do the first because I really enjoy Alexandrines for their symbolism and some of the frenchies do it fantastic. I do the latter because I really really like Dante. But like there’s so much experimentation possible and so many forms that you can basically even just write normative prose and hit the space bar a couple extra times and people will still classify that as a poem senpai.

How do I get out of the mindset that my readers are idiots who might be confused by anything I try to do?

>>16425819

Eh are you writing to be published? If so know your audience. If you’re writing for what you consider an intellectual audience write as you want for them. If you are writing content you consider not the most high brow for not the most high brow folks, then you should be conscious of the level you write. If you write like I do, for your own pleasure, then do not worry whatsoever about others.

>>16425819
do keep in mind that writing is communication

>>16425819
Most of them are. Either you take them by hand, or stop giving a fuck.

>>16420474
So did people stick their nose into this and then close out without posting? Or did it get completely overlooked?

>>16425878
I'm sorry, I hate sci-fi and I hate cyberpunk and pastebin formatting is unreadable to my fucked up eyes, so I scrolled past.

>>16425834
>>16425855
Well like for technical jargon or period terms, for instance. Like do I need to define what a yardarm is or what it means when you miss stays? Or should I figure my audience would know if they’re interested in a story about boats in the first place?

>>16425889
I mean, I'm not terribly surprised by that explanation.

Is there a better site to upload text to though?

>>16420474
> weight of eighty meters of city above it weighing down.

dont use weight twice, this could easily be "The room was buried in Gamma level, weighed down by almost 80 meters of the city above or something.

>“They can’t hear us can’t they?”
can they

anyway seems decent

>>16425983
Google docs? I don't know

>>16425930
i suppose it depends on who the narrator(s) is/are, and who they're writing (telling the story) for. it's a tightrope; will me helping the reader take him/her out of the story, if only for a brief moment? does it roll with the text? or should the narrator assume prior knowledge on the reader's part?

just don't break the spell

>>16426030
You should see my later chapters. I haven't fixed literal typos because I'm just grinding through more. At least I'm working at a good pace.

tell me if i sound actually retarded /lit/

Johannes Hansson was the son of a carpenter who in turn was the son of a fishmonger who immigrated to the United States from Christiansfeld in Northern Schleswig. Growing up most people called him Jon rather than his full name. It was in 1930 that he was accepted into the philological program at ----------- University of Massachusetts. He arrived on rather cold morning in Autumn having spent the previous night in the hotel of a nearby town and as his father drove Jon down the road which wound in between hills lined with trees the afternoon sunlight came in streams from the west and trickled through the now fading leaves of the beeches and maples leaving a kaleidoscope of warm light on the street’s grey pavement. On the left hand side of the road behind a few sparse bushes the sun started to sink beneath a hill turning a stream into a pool of vivant glass flowing over stone.
The car approaching the main hall of the university fell in line behind another two of its kind with a fourth following closely behind, forming a small caravan which stopped at the top of the drive’s loop, so that the students could unload their things and carry them to the dormitories which lay beyond the main hall by approximately fifty meters, down a cobblestone path. The main hall was a relatively austere building, rising some five stories above the ground as a rust coloured bastion, with cathedralesque neo-gothic towers rising from each corner of the building. The university was originally built in the mid eighteenth century to train clergy for the New England area, although by the nineteenth century the religious affiliations of the school had given way to secularism and the departmental variety flourished to encompass more scientific and mathematical plans of study. A medical college was added just before the turn of the century, many graduates of which went on to serve the people during the 1918 pandemic. The core of the school however, remained the humanities, with an intense focus on the classics as well as modern languages. The library was for the most part housed in the nave of the main hall, with classrooms lining the periphery. The medical college held their collection in a separate library closer to their facilities, which lay a ways away from the main complex.
Jon and his father parked the car and unloaded the luggage, following the cobblestone path northwest to the student residences. This building was a tan rectangle with a green tinted roof and a roofed terrace supported by two columns and enclosed by a balustrade that opened up towards the front. Behind this building there was a small lake with a dock that in the summer was used for recreational purposes, although the ice was often too thin in the winter for the students to go ice skating.

I'm 12k words into my writing-for-guilty-pleasure story. I should have spent more time for my "serious" novel instead, but writing this one is such great fun

>>16426192
>I should have spent more time for my "serious" novel instead
I don't get why people try to force themselves to write something they don't even think is fun

>>16426282
fun to write and fun to read are different

He might be just ping ponging around with micro plots and wish fulfillment that would never break up into a coherent story.

>>16426295
If not even the author himself finds his work interesting and engaging, then you gotta face it: it's shit. Maybe the "guilty pleasure" story actually has potential.

Trying to do a Pynchon pastiche. Do you think I'm hitting the right note?

https://docs.google.com/document/d/124KImgGNOSViXO-I4VLxVTZjhvHkLAzfeegB6YtjRbE/edit?usp=sharing

>>16425081
Is that legal, to abridge and distribute an alive author's works? He still has the copyright

>tfw everybody in my creative writing class sucks compared to me

>>16426855
why are you in a creative writing class

>>16426855
I remember going to a bunch of Creative Writing Classes, and everyone there just wanted to write some leftish propaganda about how homosexuals and blacks are great.
We would have to swap stories and critique each other, and every week I was reading the same shitty story, just with a 'new magic system'.
I wrote a short story about some woman with udders and tusks, and the professor made me read it out in front of everyone, then get 'live feedback'.
Everyone hated it, and I felt like shit for fucking years after it. I still think about it and cringe so fucking hard that writing becomes hard.

>>16426855
>taking a creative writing class
You know, reading Techniques of a Selling Writer is completely free and you can do it on your own time. I don't remember learning much from the class I took aside from how to use some script writing software

>>16426893
I magically came down with a cold the day that we were going to read our stories to the class. My prof was disappointed because she actually liked mine, but I wasn't about to open myself up to that level of potential embarrassment

>>16426897
>Techniques of a Selling Writer
What is with you and shilling that book? Is the author your dad?

>>16426855
"If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room."

>>16426922
It's very good, and goes over just about everything you need to know to write a decent novel

>>16426951
Let me guess, you're from Latin America.

>>16426959
No, I'm a white boy from the south

>>16426886
Needed one last elective.

>>16426893
you deserve 1000 years of cringing for it

>>16426951
are you published?

>>16427090
Does self-published count?

>>16426588
Abridgement falls outside of fair-use according to current copyright law. The author is dead however. (Sanderson finished the last few books, but Jordan is the original author).

I'm mostly doing it as a project for myself, but an abridged edition for the fans who want to re-read should absolutely exist...so I'll likely distribute. I'm opposed to current copyright law anyhow.

The movie industry seems to take fan-edits as a matter of course (see the various versions of the Hobbit and other movies that exist). Those fan cuts seem to get away with a simple disclaimer on their websites, so I'll be curious to see if the book industry could be brought around to that.

>>16427178
Movie, or book, or whatever, nobody should be allowed to rape and mangle another person's work, or share any parts of it freely in public. That's bullshit

>>16427178
Hmm, didn't know that. I always thought Sanderson wrote the whole thing himself.

Copyright law and those greedy Jews can fuck themselves, go for it

>>16427200
The original work still exists though. If you release your work to the public, everyone should be able to do anything they want with it. I would say taking money for it might be a different story, but anything should go if it’s free.

>>16427178
I'd be very careful about distribution. The publishing industry doesn't take things like this lightly

what do you guys think of my poem?


I be the power that move

the groove that spooks

in ephebic obtuse gesticulations

I protrude

Follow the light

that reminisces on the blight

ungentle night

I am black

>>16427178
You can still get sued. It just depends on if the copyright holder is litigious or not.

>>16427248
>I would say taking money for it might be a different story, but anything should go if it’s free.
So why the fuck would anyone buy the work, when someone else gave away the best parts for free?

>>16427275
Ask libraries.

>>16427109
does it sell?

>>16427281
Technically, libraries are not free. They use your tax money to fund book acquisitions and let you borrow works only for a limited time. They don't print their own doctored editions in unlimited quantities

>>16427200
You should look up how copyright has changed since the Disney Jews started lobbying. What used to be a simple measure to protect an author for a reasonable period of time has now become a Leviathan with a stranglehold on ideas that rightfully should have entered public domain many many years ago.

You should also trace the lineage of many of our modern stories and realize how many of them are brilliant retellings of stories that were at the time in the public domain. The depletion of the modern public domain is one of the saddest things for modern storytelling (whether in books, movie, or tv.)

>>16427201
Agreed. Copyright blows.

>>16427252
Yes, I'm sure they don't. I haven't decided my exact course of action, but I'll be very careful.

>>16427351
I sure didn't expect people in a writing thread not give any damn about their own rights.

>>16427343
The core principle is the same, it’s just a matter of scale. Libraries do ebooks and audio books too now, after all.

I’ll turn it right around on you. Why would anyone buy a book when they get it for free at a library? The same reasons would apply to this that would apply to someone wanting a doctored version in the first place. And we haven’t even touched on piracy. Can’t think of any authors that have cited b.ok as the reason they went bankrupt.

>>16427351
>The depletion of the modern public domain is one of the saddest things for modern storytelling (whether in books, movie, or tv.)
Just the opposite actually. At least it could be great if people were forced to write original stuff instead of going further back to steal from non-copyrighted works.

>>16427268
I know. I plan to be cautious. Haven't decided how to quite go about things at that stage as of yet.

>>16427259
Good job, Tyrone

>>16427378
>Why would anyone buy a book when they get it for free at a library
Because they don't get it for free at a library, they are expected to return it or pay the replacement fee. This usually applies to ebooks too.

>>16427376
Copyright in its current state is quite the abomination and it is in no way updated to appropriately handle digital formats such as ebooks, etc. I most particularly object to the sheer length of the copyright term, it's consequental stranglehold on ideas and the litigiousness it encourages. Don't even get me started on DRM.

>>16427447
>it's consequental stranglehold on ideas
How does this even apply to art? Just leave written works alone and you don't have to bother with copyright as an artist.

It's more problematic in tech, since there are only so many ways to do stuff.

>>16427351
So you think it would be better if Disney started ripping off, for example, web novels people post online, after they're old enough? Or whatever bestseller novels the author never sold the rights for? Make bank off ideas somebody put out there out of the joy of writing?

Pirates often seem to think copyright is some corporate weapon billionaires lobbied to protect their products. But really, it's the average joe, the struggling artist, who will suffer most if copyright laws are removed. For them, every cent counts.

Whatever, this dumb shit doesn't belong in this thread.

>>16427481
Corporations are the only ones with enough money to fund arbitrary and capricious litigation against small time artists. Who the fuck has 2000$ just to file an injunctive relief claim in federal court against some idiot on youtube?

Corporations.

The small time artist doesn't have enough money to properly exercise their rights to the intellectual property they own. It's absurd of you to think that the small time artist that gets ripped off by some Chinese digital farmer or even a massive corporation would have the resources to do anything about it.

On top of all that, how do you even know you have a claim unless you have access to proprietary algorithmic software that can detect the infringement? Oh wait corporations have entire divisions of clerks in their inhouse counsel that have access to that.

Copyright is absurd. What Disney has done is even worse.

>>16427384
Do you honestly feel like an even longer extension on copyright would produce some kind of Renaissance?
>Doubt
Some of our greatest works are simply retellings of other stories... you'd prohibit that?

I'm not wholely against the concept...but the length of copyright terms is retarded. So we see far too much of this scenario:
>famous author dies
>His grandchildren/estate sell off the rights to his ideas to Hollywood like the money-whores they are.
>Hollywood makes shoddy movies that milk fan base nostalgia and goodwill while raping every standard or value the author held.
>Jews profit, and scope out the next IP they can degrade.
After the original author dies the IP should be opened up to the public domain. At least then we'd have more people playing in the sandbox and a higher chance that a faithful successor to the concepts/values introduced by the original work can develop naturally.

>>16420513

Im writing both at the same time

>>16421787

Paint a map, there are guides on tg how to do it, fill it with life. Then draw borders, the conflict will write by itself then

>>16427518
>It's absurd of you to think that the small time artist that gets ripped off by some Chinese digital farmer or even a massive corporation would have the resources to do anything about it.

It's easier in this day and age than it's ever been. All you need to do is post on social media and prove the idea is yours. It's not the kind of controversy any big company wants, because all their money still comes from the people. The existence of that threat alone serves as protection. If there were no copyright laws, there would be nothing. Call it absurd all you like, I don't see you presenting better solutions.

>>16427538
>Do you honestly feel like an even longer extension on copyright would produce some kind of Renaissance?
It seems more likely to have a positive effect than lowering it.
>Some of our greatest works are simply retellings of other stories
Can't say I agree. The great stuff usually take a very distant interpretation and mixes multiple sources, before adding tons of original content on top and around it.
>His grandchildren/estate sell off the rights to his ideas to Hollywood like the money-whores they are.
>Hollywood makes shoddy movies that milk fan base nostalgia and goodwill while raping every standard or value the author held.
Which seems mostly an issue with fanbases than copyright in the first place. Lowering it would just lead to more Jews trying to make a buck out of old shit; so we wouldn't just have Beauty and the Beast remake from Disney but also five others studios and a few indie directors trying to ride on the wave. Doubt a decent successor getting into the mix from time to time would be too beneficial against the flood.

I used to be very much anti long ass copyright too, but generally viewed it from consumer ... err, pirate perspective ... plus obviously it's icky to see some huge ass corporation buying an IP to shit that should be public domain long ago and limit others from working on that material.

But I never considered the positive effects of public domain works being basically blocked for good for the art before. Writers being forced to write something original seems preferable in the current remakes, sequels and re-tellings climate.

>>16427538
>At least then we'd have more people playing in the sandbox and a higher chance that a faithful successor to the concepts/values introduced by the original work can develop naturally.

A beautiful idea, but it has one critical flaw: most people are retarded. Faithful recreations, adaptations, and successors may have their tiny cult following, but it's the big budget shit with mass appeal that sells and makes the headlines. All you'd achieve is open the floodgates to even more grotesque bastardisations by lazy, creatively bankrupt fortune-seekers.

Can a story with only one or possibly two characters work? I have a story idea that is essentially an allegory about quarantine, but the entire premise of it is motivated by the fact that the protagonist is isolated and deprived of human contact for most of it. I can think of one book Hatchet, a young adult novel about a teenager surviving in the woods by Gary Paulsen, with a similar one character setup.

I suppose you can pull off anything if you're good but so much fiction is character driven and you increase the odds of appealing to the reader if you have multiple characters.

>>16427720
>I suppose you can pull off anything if you're good but so much fiction is character driven and you increase the odds of appealing to the reader if you have multiple characters.
There you go.

>>16427705
> it's the big budget shit with mass appeal that sells and makes the headlines
It's not like Hollywood is the one that originally makes the adaptations. They usually take something that has a small/moderate following and make a moobie about it. For example, How to Train Your Dragon trilogy started off with a little children's book called Hiccup the Polite Viking or some shit written by an old white woman. Sometimes it turns out into great movies like HTTYD, but other times it turns into crap like the Percy Jackson movies.

And even Hollywood doesn't get it right the first time either. A Series of Unfortunate Events had a movie first, which didn't make a lot of money, and the IP was scrapped. 15 years later, Netflix tried again with a TV series.

My point is, Hollywood and the big money studios require the same trial-and-error tinkering with adaptations as everyone else. They're not some magic high-quality adaptation machine

>>16418914
>https://self-publishingschool.com/book-writing-software-best/
*clears throat*

>>16427720
>I suppose you can pull off anything if you're good
Answered your own question. You can do this if you're really good. But it would be very very difficult and honestly I can't see how it wouldn't be super boring. And I can't imagine it would be very marketable if that's something that matters to you.
You might find it quite boring to write as well, I always get bored after writing 4000 words with only one character, can't imagine doing a whole book like it.

>>16427747
>>16427766
I know I answered my own question, but the fact remains that it is much more challenging as you point out. What would keep it from being boring is the interestingness of the setting--which has a lot of cool and unique things about it--and the character reflecting on the people of his life and the meaning of their absence. It's obviously not impossible but many principles of narration have to be excluded.
Also I intend it to be a short story, not a novel, which makes the concept much more executable. And I don't care for marketability, I have nothing but contempt for the publishing industry.

>>16427790
Lel, and again you basically write your own answer. This is why motherfuckers should journal.

> setting--which has a lot of cool and unique things about it--and the character reflecting on the people of his life and the meaning of their absence
If you also manage to make the character interesting and the writing fit the mood, you're golden. Besides, if it's a short-story, it's definitely much more likely to succeed. How short are we talking about?

>>16427790
>short story, not a novel
Completely different then, should be fine. I love short stories with only one character. Be wary of relying on your setting to make it interesting though.

>>16419373
>how to write like a fag
Please don't do this, people

Should I join this next Tuesday? Will it be a mistake?

no, no, no, never mind. I can't do this. I can't have a creative writing session with this guy

https://www.jewbook.com/tomballlibrary/videos/293869998351557/

>>16427815
>How short are we talking about?
Yeah I mean I'm just thinking out loud here at this point. I don't know yet, however short it takes to say what I want to say. Probably within the realm of 20 or so pages.
>>16427818
It's no so much the setting rather than how the character interacts with it. It's basically a device he operates, similar to a spaceship. It's something to be explored.

>>16424838
Logan scratched the small patch of hair on the crown of his head. “Yep, I can smell it,” he sighed.

His grandson, Demetrius, stopped sucking on his beer can and let out a long burp. “I mean, I tried. You know?”

Logan couldn’t believe the kid was his own blood. It was one trouble after another with Demetrius. Yet Logan was retired. He had time to help. And maybe, just maybe, he could hold Demetrius’ life together long enough for the brat to take charge of it.

In this case, the trouble in question was a dead, maggot-infested raccoon that somehow got trapped under the pool cover. It had been dead for some time, evident by the stench and throughly defiled water.

Logan shook his head. “I don’t know if I can get it, but I’ll try.”

“Aw, come on, Granpa!” Demetrius whined. “You know I’m no good in the sun. I faint when I leave the shade.” The sound of his beer sucking carried through the yard.

It was hot as hell’s furnace, humid, with the sun scorching the earth through a clear blue sky. Logan steadied himself with his cane and shuffled through the long, uncut grass to the side of the above ground pool. The steel wall rose as high as his head. With a grunt he stepped onto the ladder. His right leg erupted with fiery pain as he tried to keep his balance. “Gah!” he cried. Off in the shade, Demetrius rolled his eyes and wiped foam from his moustache.

Logan grit his teeth and mounted the ladder one step at a time. The pain wasn’t just in his legs. All his arthritic joints trembled and screamed. Be he was old and accustomed to pain. He continued on.

On reaching the top, he was simultaneously blinded by sunlight reflecting off a piece of metal siding and blasted with a fresh wave of wretched stench. The fetid water bubbled and swirled slowly in front of him, dark as a pot of coffee.

In that moment his body released a cathartic wave of endorphins. He surrendered completely to the unknown, a psychonaut on the brink of apotheosis. The dead raccoon’s fumes drifted to the back of his brain and settled.

“Holy Jesus,” Logan muttered.

“What’s that?” Demetrius called lazily from the concrete porch. “Do ya see it?”

“Oh, yes…” Logan murmured. “Yes, I see it.”

He opened his eyes, letting go of the ladder with one hand to shield his face from the terrible sun. The source of pestilence came into view. A nirvana of maggots, fur, and bloated, water-logged flesh slipped off bone in unknown portions.

An incurable awe came over Logan. A millennia ago, he would have plunged into the water, retrieved his idol, and lashed it to a long stick, where it would be raised to the heavens as a ward against evil and worshipped for its awful morphology. As it was, he gulped and reached for the long net resting against the side of the pool…

>>16427903
>Probably within the realm of 20 or so pages.
Bruv, that's absolutely no problem then. It'd approach "tricky" territory at 20k words or so but 20 pages are less than half of it and can work with a single character just fine.

>>16427840
>nooo you can't just read books on how you write publishable novels! You have to write an unpublishable 1000 page manuscript that takes up 10 years of your life!!!

>>16427987
Excuse me, it's just 400 pages.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Typhoon

I don't get it. Is the origin of this word Greek or Chinese?

Wikipedia makes it sounds as if they both came up independently with the same word for the same shit.

>>16427987
If you just want to learn how to write publishable novels, sure, read those books. Of course, most published novels are worthless, so its a strange thing to strive for.

>>16428031
It comes from the Chinese.

>>16428121
yeah you should just write a bunch of shit that you keep in a drawer, based

Holy shit, anons. I really need some advice. Does anyone know a good place to find a small group of writers to proofread each other’s work with?

I’ve self-published books on Kindle (with modest success) but I always have a bear of a time trying to ask my friends and family to proofread for me. And I feel bad, besides. My writing’s hardly serviceable, but I want to improve. I think they’re all (rightfully) burned out from helping me, but I don’t know where to turn.

Please, do any of you kind anons have suggestions? Other than to lurk more, which is true.

>>16428126
Thanks. It kinda fun how it spread to europe as well

>>16428138
Anon, that's what the smarts call a "false dichotomy".

>>16428147
My local library has writers workshop regularly
>>16427881
But even looking at it gives me social anxiety. I feel like I can only show turbo normie-friendly material

>>16428121
At least a published author is making some money off of their writing. If you ever want it to be more than a hobby, you need to learn what goes into crafting a novel that sells copies. Even Ulysses follows a certain story structure that makes it enjoyable to read

>>16427305
I have 14 pages read on Kindle Select ;_;

>>16428303
I'm not arguing against publishing one's work. I'm arguing against writing worthless novels, regardless of whether or not those worthless novels get published.

>>16428303
I'm also not arguing against learning how to write. I'm arguing against learning how to write like a fag.

>>16428461
name some writers that write like fags and some that don't

>>16428477
Oops, pressed the back button and lost my post. Let's try again.
Fag:
> Dan Brown
> Stephen King
> Neal Stephenson
etc.
Not fag:
> James Joyce
> Philip K. Dick
> Camus
etc.

>>16428385
I don't try to bully, but I mean maybe the author is not so wise

>>16428524
Looks like you have to be dead to not be a fag

>>16428524
Neither the fag nor the not fag category have any internal similarities in writing style.

>>16428573
It's not about style necessarily. The fags all write very shallow, surface level novels that appeal, intentionally or not, to the widest audience possible. King writes amazing setups and is fantastic at setting the scene because he knows most people drop novels before they finish them so his ending doesn't matter if all he wants to do is sell. Stephenson (granted, I have only read Snow Crash) writes from tropes first. He thinks of what's cool and then makes the story works around it. That works if all you want is a fun story, but they're incredibly shallow. Dan Brown knows most people don't actually think about the story. His narratives fall apart if you actually scrutinize them, but his short chapters and snappy pacing mean most non-critical readers just get distracted by the next thing before they notice anything wrong.

Looking for /crit/ on my 1st book of poetry. I am working on book 2 now it is a lot more direct to the point and edited more. If you like it, please consider buying it. Thank you for your time

amazon.com/dp/B08J2R4LD8

All right you've memed me. I hope Techniques of the Selling Writer is worth the $15

>>16429044
I mean, you could have just downloaded a pdf for free. I'd say that it's definitely worth the $15, though

>>16429044
It's worth it to the guy selling the book for sure.

>>16426311
This is exactly right.

>>16428147
Work on your technical writing skills and become a good self-editor.

>>16428147
Post the google doc, solicit edit suggestions here.

I have two questions, dudebros.
1. Do you believe the "you have a million bad words you have to get out before you get to the good ones" concept?
2. If you do, is it literally any fiction you've written in your life, or does the shit doodling you did as a teenager and never finished not count?

How do Tenet work on book I wonder, that shit was good but it's a total mindfuck

>>16429481
>Do you believe the "you have a million bad words you have to get out before you get to the good ones" concept?
No. Everyone is different, and while your first novel or two or three might not be any good, there are going to be some things you're doing right. What usually makes a novel bad is a few poorly done aspects, rather than every paragraph being pure shit. There are also amateur writers who have written millions of words of fiction but still have no idea how to write a publishable novel. Learn what makes a novel work, and you can considerably cut down on how many words you need to go through before you become decent.

>If you do, is it literally any fiction you've written in your life, or does the shit doodling you did as a teenager and never finished not count?
Practice without aim and direction is meaningless. It's the same for anything that takes time to learn in life. If you're doodling or writing random writing prompts from reddit or something, but have a set technique you want to work on or some grammar rules you want to iron out, then yeah they're going to help you improve

>>16429383
How do I get into editing? What are the general rules? Is it just grammar?

>>16426178
bump

>>16429713
>editing
Not him, but some of it is grammar, some is word choice, some is making sure you've got the right punctuation, and sometimes it's about realizing a part doesn't work and rewriting the whole thing, and others it's about completely trashing a part. I don't care how near and dear to your heart that scene is, if it doesn't advance the story, cut it.

>>16429713
Start with big picture stuff before micro-editing stuff like grammar.

>>16429713
Your grammar should be very accurate as you're writing, in my opinion. If the bulk of your editing is fixing comma splices rather than style and story, then your fundamentals are lacking. The average reader is also less likely to notice a subject-verb disagreement and dangling participle than they are a plot-hole or unrealistic characters

>>16429481
No, but I've written so many papers for highschool, college and masters, and now in my professional life so many emails and other legal/administrative documents that I'd easily written that many words before I started writing fiction. It might have. Reading a bunch also helped, although to be truthful I haven't read a legit novel in a few years tho I read many, many before. Mostly reading 4chan or news articles and shitposting in the last few.
For 1st person before I nail down the narrator's voice it just won't feel right. Once that gets figured out, hopefully within the first 5k, it gets a lot smoother. If its not clicking by then your idea might need more refinement or change up the narrator.
Basically your focus should be on an individual project basis, rather than a general I've written a lot drek in the past so I've learned from all my mistakes one.

>>16429481
>>16429796
Have you considered writing <5k short stories before trying a bigger story?

>>16429815
My aim has never been to write short stories. If something peters out I consider it a failure, to be shelved for later or possibly forever. Short stories can be useful for practicing dialogue, maybe setting a scene, but beyond that they don't help with the more important part of a longer story: setup and payoff. You can have setup and payoff in a short story, but its entirely different.
You can think of a longer story as a series of short stories, but you need that connecting thread of setup and payoff that you just won't get if you set out to write short stories as some kind of stopgap.

I hate all of you. I've finally made a Royal Road account

>>16429796
>not just using a template for motions for summary judgement and copying plaintiffs name in it

>>16429963
Welcome to the club

>>16429977
>>16429963
Can we circle jerk reviews for better SEO?

>>16429963
The fuck is Royal Road?

>>16429991
Don't do it. I've set up my account 5 minutes ago and I already regret it. It's like a fancy fanfiction.net or writing version of Youtube. You can post your stories, chapter by chapter and people can review and comment on each chapter

>>16429963
Based shills didn't work for nothing.

>>16429976
>boilerplate bs
I had to get contracts and licensing approved by the state and accreditation agencies. Unfortunately there wasn't a lot of precedent floating around and the stuff I managed to get was by pulling teeth and not entirely analogous to what I needed it for.

>>16429988
good god, now I have to go on other people's RR accounts and leave 5-star reviews. I hate my life

Looking for feedback
amazon.com/dp/B08J2R4LD8

>>16430025
How is it different than through a traditional publishing houses that also publish millions of trashy shit?

>>16430025
Sounds cancerous as a mother fucker, but I also want in just for the lols. I'm conflicted here...

>Isekai Retard Road

For the last time, FUCK OFF. /wg/ is a trad publishing only thread.

>>16430036
You don't have to. /lit/ writers should be held to higher standards than other plebs on that site

>>16430057
because I don't have an account in a traditional publishing house and don't have to experience the cringe

dude my balls are so droopy right now I gotta press them to something cold to get higher T

>>16430065
ok, post your published work then, anon.

>>16430054
I don't have Kindle Unlimited, Tony

>>16430077
wait... if they're droopy, it means they'll be cooler, thus operating better. If they get sucked up into your shit they'll be hotter, then not operating optimally.

>>16430026
Cashing my check as we speak

>>16430065
You realize that there are novels beside Isekai posted on the site, right? There's plenty of traditional fantasy and scifi stuff.

>>16430059
The site is fine. It's in a sweet spot right now where it's popular and there's a lot of readers, but the community is small enough to where you're going to get to know the regulars pretty quickly if you participate in the forum discussions. It's drastically better than sites like webnovel.com and wattpad where you're just drowned by an endless amount of shit written by an autistic monkey with a broken typewriter

>>16430097
>written by an autistic monkey with a broken typewriter
Fuck! HOW DID YOU KNOW IT WAS ME?!

>>16430097
>you're going to get to know the regulars pretty quickly if you participate in the forum discussions
do not want

>>16420033
Quite common in eastern europe, yeah

>>16430101
Someone slipped me this candid photo, anonymously

>>16430143
They even got my brother! NOOOOOO! THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE AN ANYMOOSE SITE!

>>16430103
Same, judging by the average quality of stories posted there I don't want to be buddy buddy with anyone of them.

>>16430189
>>16430103
There's nothing wrong with doing some networking, anons. You don't have to like the people you're talking to

>>16430209
We've made accounts already. What more do you shills want?

>>16430219
Your intellectual property

>>16430219
USE THE WEBSITE, GOY!

Do any of you ever have some success with your stories on that site? There's that guy getting to trending with a space opera story featuring a little girl with cute feet

>>16430227
Only in the most minimal way possible!

>>16430235
Mine's starting to pick up a bit, but I wouldn't call it successful yet.

>>16430282
Shill it here, I'm bored and may read a chapter or two

>>16430343
https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/35434/an-ode-to-swordsmen It's a classical Wuxia story. Admittedly I'm using it to learn how to properly structure a novel, so It's not going to be exceptionally original. You probably won't mind though unless you've read a ton of old Wuxia novels from the 20th century

The story revolves around the main character's school being framed for stealing the Emperor's sword. Without spoiling the plot, I'll just say that it's a very fictionalized version of an infamous 14th century conspiracy at the dawn of the Ming Dynasty.

>>16430424
Well I read some random chapters. It's not the low quality stuff I would expect from that site, but the prose is a bit boring, though you mainly describe actions, I think it would be a bit more gripping at least if it was a bit more descriptive. I don't know though, I'm used to verbose stuff so I'm probably not the target audience.

>>16426579
I've never read Pynchon, but if it's a kind of amusing, alt-right stream of consciousness, then you got it

>>16430553
No, you're right. I agree that I need to be more descriptive. I'm just trying to work on one thing at a time so I don't get too overwhelmed. If you saw my dialogue just a few weeks ago you would have run for the hills

Guys for real, how do I show rather than tell? someone told me my wiring is too objective and that I need to watch some videos on show not tell, and I already did but I have no idea what im doing or how to fix it. can someone break it down for a dumbfuck like me?

>>16430735
It's dumb advice. The opposite can even be said in a lot of situation. If you show absolutely everything, your story is going to be ground to a halt. Sometimes you need to tell the reader that something happened so you can move onto things that are important to the story.

>>16430745
Yeah, you tell that the character paid and left the bar, not showing how much his drink costs or counting his changes, unless it's to show something about his financial status or something. It's important to show the right things. I don't like Gaiman's writing, but his quote is very applicable: everyone know what a coffee shop or a restaurant or a tree looks like. Tell them something unusual about it, things that make it standout and worth noting.

>>16430782
One thing that annoys me about some amateur writing is that they'll describe literally everything in the room. I don't need to know that everything in the room is made out of wood, the type of wood everything is made out of, where the specific tree was grown and chopped down, the backstory of the lumberjack and his extended genealogy going back to Genghis Khan

Who is your main character?

My main character is a french canadian who travels to france in the 1810's to find the man who killed his dad only to find out his father's death was an elaborate suicide and he killed numerous people for absolutely nothing.

>>16430806
That would be a fucking amazing book if it kept trying to tell a story but got distracted with where things were from and goes into a story about like, where the table was made and where the wood was bought and then the lumberjacks problems with his wife and how her problems stem from her fathers abuse which started when he was young working on the docks after he took a trip to the islands and fell in love with a local who harvested cain sugar with specialized tools who’s design cane from their local gods getting into an argument about what plant was the sweetest and how it subsequently got brought back to Europe only to be tasted by a writer who worked for a banker by day, who only just recently invested in a profitable organization that designs tables, the same kind of table our main character sat at, staring at his morning breakfast of eggs, eggs from a breed of chicken who etc etc.

But much longer chapter like prose detailing story within story only by the end of the book to have the man finally leave the house or something.

>>16430815
Seventeen year old slacker who will become an infamous terrorist and take over the world.

>>16430815
A pizza delivery driver in a 97 civic.

The other project has no main character.

>>16430815
He's me but more competent and slightly taller

>>16430815
An unstable and angry college aged girl. Her mental state is the main plot movement of the story. The side characters' plots both accidentally heal her mind and pushed her off the edge unknowingly and randomly.

>>16430838
Kek. The main character finally leaves the house just for the book to end in the middle of a sentence that was finally getting to the conflict. If I ever make it enough to have anything I want published, I'd probably write something like that as a middle finger to the industry. Much like Gremlins 2 was written by a guy who was fed up with executives demanding a sequel

>>16430815
A person torn between his personal beliefs about the sanctity of life and societal pressure about how people are expected to behave.
More specifically his neighbors think he's insane because he makes a point out of not only not stepping on earthworms or snails or caterpillars but to also help them off the sidewalks.

>>16430815
Protag is a blonde aussie born in 29th century Australia who followers in her family's military tradition by joining a militarized interstellar navy whereas they have all served in Earth's Pacific navy—prior to the start of the story SEATO is revived and SE Asia/Australia/NZ are only habitations left unscratched by a nuclear holocaust some centuries earlier. The narrative starts off when she is about 10, then through a few timeskips 17 and later 27~30 by the end. She's kind of a dork and speaks her mind too much I think.

Deuteragonist is of Sino-Korean descent, witnesses her entire family murdered before her eyes as a loli, joins the same pirate gang after being coerced into killing the one who did it in a berserk rage, she gets taken by one of the sympathetic pirate guys that rescued her, and spends her childhood and early adolescence rising through its ranks until she eventually becomes one of its top lieutenants. She's about 6 y/o in the first chapter and later ~20 and about ~30 by the end. She's tactful but grew up kind of socially stunted.

Tritagonist... uh, grrr, earth politicians bad, deuteragonist-chan bad. Dhe laughs like that peko vtuber. She's the kind of person to be blunt in her tactics and prefers straightforward ways of achieving her goals even if it means a mountain of corpses. She wants to create a new future free of conflict and suffering for people not living in on Earth, but the escalating events that fold out by the time I get to her arc makes it a bleak pipedream.

>>16430916
Hey you are the one with the loli who has cute feet

>>16430927
yes hello

>>16430864
>”oh shit, I’m late to work!”
>the reader stares at these last words of a two thousand page novel with extensive footnotes
>their jaw agape, muttering nothings to themselves
>two thousand pages of backstory
>two thousand pages of detail
>two thousand pages of minutia
>”wait... he had a job?”

Did we hit bump limit?

>>16430996
Yessir, since post #301

>>16430996
You can see it from the cursive on the number of posts, newfren

>>16431005
Right. New thread

>>16431002
>>16431002
>>16431002

>>16431003
The italics? I haven’t hung out in a General in a long time, and the last one was on /vg/, so I forgot. :( been here 15 years. I’ll always be new I guess.

>>16430065
Nobody here has published or will publish anything traditionally, so you'd have a dead thread

>>16430815
a mildly retarded man who got fired from his job at a printing plant, secretly included an arcane i ching-esque divination text in his final press run and now uses it as a guide for his life.