/lit/ - Literature

>>16417378
>a poem

yellowish skies are pierced
for the first time in forever
mercurian stars align in vastless space
and were there an evil god
thats where now he would grin
fletching heinously thouse pointy teeth
timeless space ever dripping away
defend against the army of the dead
few naive ones ever so bravely
awaited by fates all dire and bleak
for theres nowhere to run
when running is no more
and when the sea starves the sun
and lands ever blooming descend
to depths not known to man
lonely souls wll have bled
mankinds forever last tears.

>>16417378
this e-girl on twitter I used to talk to for 2 weeks non stop just deleted her account and went off the grid, kinda bummed about it desu, but I guess it's for the better because I got the feeling she was pretty mentally ill and really an attention whore and that kind of behaviour isn't good for you but I really enjoyed talking to her and developed feelings for her(less so after I got to know her).Tbh nothing good comes of this but I still hope we can talk once again in the future and that this isn't the end....

If you put an ice cube the size of the Empire State Building in your glass of Jack Daniels, that's gonna make it freezing.

>a thing I wrote while having some sort of depressive episode

I truly feel like a pitiful miserable creature trying to fit into the image I have created of myself.

Every day I put on my clothes, shoes and tie. Well put together, a clever disguise.

Pitiful miserable creature. The blood is soaking through your clothes now and everyone can see. They can see right through your clever disguise.

>>16417422
Nice. This board needs more poetry

Anonymity is a curse but at the same time being recognised draws ridicule and heckling. I remember fora. Do you? There always developed little cliques (and that continues on many online communities no matter what they be today) which always seemed to be self-congratulatory in nature. Often, if you weren't 'in' no one cared about you or what you had to say until you impressed or agreed with someone 'in' in which you would become a part of the circlejerk.

Or, as is more likely, you would be relegated to obscurity where your thoughts didn't matter until you eventually left the fora. Not an entirely fun time. Though, as an aside, I do miss the decentralised entities on the Internet. Now everything is conglomerated.

Is anonymity the solution to this? I don't think so. Without consequence we can truly just a man his character. The shopping cart problem brings this up. Nothing happens to you if you don't return the cart. Nothing happens if you do. It is a completely neutral (to you) action with zero repercussions if you return it or not. Same with online speech. Unless, of course, you're threatening seditious actions. Civility is difficult online, I'd say. Everyone always insults each other. It goes far beyond banter, too. I think people have bastardisedthe idea of banter to the point of mean-spiritedness. Banter is born of mutual respect and camaraderie. It'sdifficult to respect someone who chimes in 'kek kill urself kek it's just bants can't handle the bants'. That's hyperbolic, of course, but in the same vein.

In conclusion, I'm not sure how to fix this.

I was wrong to defend you yesterday. Your idea of a friend being a person of social convenience is shallow. You were right for me to assume you are a shallow person. I am glad this happened and that you are no longer in my personal life. I hope one day you will at least look back on this experience, learn from it, and reconcile.

At any rate I don't feel the need to rush ahead. Things move forward without my direct involvement, all I need do is wait them out and in the end all will come to fruition as I planned it.
So long as the rabbits don't chew the roots of my apple tree, I guess. Do they do that? Chew roots? Probably not. So it's fine. The apples are bit bitter though. Maybe I should do that thing where you take a branch and join it into a tree to make that tree produce more apples like the ones from the tree that donated the branch.
Later though. Tree still has growing to do. Time enough to figure out how to actually bake pies. All things considered, the apple situation is satisfactory now.
I'm thinking of planting gooseberries too. My grandfather's farm had those. And black currants too. My yard isn't big enough for all these shrubs though. Gooseberries will make do.
A garden of utility. A garden that will produce things, if only few things. A garden to make pies and jams out of the produce of. It's not quite the dream of having my own vineyard, but maybe I can make liquor out of berries too. I buried the dead birds into my compost heap. I hope crows don't pick at it too much. I don't really NEED a compost and don't have much to put there, but it looks very earthy and it's useful for hiding rotting things.
My yard is very nice, all things considered. I've made observations of when my neighbors are out. I can do pretty much anything I please here at certain hours of the day with no one around. So I open the cage and let the birds out for air and exercise. So long as they don't try to leave the yard, it works out well and I don't need to clip their wings. Such a lovely black sheen when the sun shines on them on those warm days, it warms the heart the way the sun warms the body.
They sing such songs to me.

I thought about writing a book in Minions speech. But then I realized that there's already one: Finnegans Wake.

elul is always a hard month for me. the majority of the losses in my life, save for one major one, have occurred when the king is in the field. it is also a time for renewal, though, and not just because of the high holidays. i lost my great grandmother within an hour of my little sister’s birth, and so the pattern for the month has been set. i’ve been drawn into christian spirituality, to the point that i have nearly converted to catholicism, only stopping the process at the last second because i was concerned about the purity of my own intentions and therefore my worthiness to receive the sacraments. in spite of my christian affinities, my heart knows what time of the year this is, and it is ready for renewal. i mourn the deaths of my four friends in harvest months past, to heroin, to suicide, to drinking, to disease. i celebrate what i still have, and try to live a life rich with intention and action. i am grateful for love and for friendship, even though i have a complicated relationship with my peers (complicated by my own mental health history, surely). i want to do good. today i will clean my home from top to bottom and reflect on death, on sexual assault, on birth, on rebirth, on purification, on everything else this month has brought me over the course of my life. i will pray today. i love you all, anons. i hope you bros are doing well. thanks for being my frens.

Bless the rain for finally falling, I just hope it washed all those nasty little bugs off my balcony door, I was starting to feel like a character in a horror story, and not a good one either.

>>16417378
Went to the beach with some strangers and didn't shoot any arabs, it was a good day

I'm on kind of a purge streak recently, I've got the urge to get rid of everything that really doesnt fufill me in my life that I just have hoarded in my place. Some of it is sellable and that's a good feeling, getting some value back for it.

I'm not getting rid of anything sentimental just cleaning up the space and removing old books I've read one too many times and will probably leave again, old figurines that are just cluttering my desk. I think this is good for me as I want to downscale where I'm currently living and cleaning it out would be good for that. Also just mentally having a clean space where everything I own only sparks joy for me or provides some sort of value, like I have two old keyboards sitting in my closet. Why? No reason to have them there. I'm trying to throw as little away as possible and donate it if I can if its no sellable, since everything could have a use to some people.

Feels good to clean up my life.

First and foremost,I have to say that I wish I could write better and have a better grasp of english to express myself, because this is a subject that I wanted to flesh out in the best way possible.
Yesterday before sleep,I watched a homage video to a musician that recently passed away and I had that feeling of being conscious of one's mortality,I guess that's something that everyone has and thinks about from time to time, but this time it was different, something visceral,not rational.
I almost ran out of breath thinking about a void,non existence like before birth,and even though it can be soothing for some,I,personally can't help but think it's terrifying.
All my problems and things that populate my head vanished in that instant,whether I acomplish what I want, overcome my fears or not, that simply doesnt matter, even frailty or sickness in old age as long as I have mental integrity of some sort.The thought of impending end is much stronger.
I thought about homeric imortality and something like Boticcelli's birth of Venus, that centuries after its completion, impacted a tourist in such a way that he had a heart attack gazing at it. But I couldn't overcome this feeling of inevitable death, for even if one is remembered, his self ceases to exist, I feel like I've been brainwashed to have this egotistical, individualistic view on life, but when I think about it it really doesn't matter what impact I could possibly have on people and history if I cease to exist, for this is all I really know and am.
I suppose it's a bit obvious by now that I'm a nonbeliever, not because of a rational thought process and decision making, but simply because religion doesn't seem to have the weight it used to have on people's lives, and as such I grew up out of religiousness and never had a transforming experience to change my mind.For a moment before going to sleep, I wished I could have a dream where God talked to me, and fantasized with some out of body experience through drugs: anything to soothe me. I never experienced bereavement or any tragedy so I wonder if I would have a different view on this if that was the case.
There's this quote by Schopenhauer:
>In the whole world there is no study so beneficial and so elevating as that of the Upanishads. It has been the solace of my life–it will be the solace of my death.
And it makes me wonder if philosophy or faith can mitigate this feeling I had, not in a rational way, but as I felt it: in my core.


>inb4 babbys first existential crisis

The inner world is not anterior to the public world. You are only about to be concerned with your own existence as a being through the external world. That external world is writhing, stretching and contracting constantly, from beings using it to their ends. A world of will. That world, just like a body of water, has its sediments and it's bottom feeders. Discarded beings, dieing ideas, falling to the bottom. If you look at yourself and see something ugly, it is because you are that sediment. If through the world, something hideous stares back at you, it's because something is. You are an abomination born at the bottom of the world, created from the worst aspects of it.

whenever a guy acts queer it’s because he’s seen to many movies
id like to cut down on movie watching in this country by about 500 percent
i really would goddamnit
it creates fools out of men
tv and movies and magazines
create fools out of men i swear to christ
if i was the president of the world i’d make everybody stare at the fucking wall
or cut their nails
men who chase women and want children
men who kiss women on the 4head
men who write poetry or sing songs at parties with acoustic guitars
they’re all faggots who’ve seen to many movies
i’d like to beat them with a fucking tail pipe in the desert
i’d like to hog tie them and throw them in an open grave
or light them on fire and then shoot them

>>16420447
>Men who write poetry
This is a literature board

>>16417378
holy shit, I saved the big chungus origin post.

i s t w w u w w o o u t t p o t d. t d i m c i w. i c b h, b i c t a s.

With each passing day, the idea of engaging with the political world, on any level, becomes more and more absurd. When I see people attempting to forge a "political identity" through reading the various texts of a school of thought or ideology, my only question is, why? What do you think it will do for you, in your life? What happens when you read a bunch of distributionist books, and become a distributionist? What happens when you read Marx, and become a Marxist? It just seems so pointless for engaging with life as it exists, I don't see it doing anything for anyone unless it just satisfies an interest or something. For me, it's fiction, and probably will be for the foreseeable future. The only thing I believe in is art - and experiencing beauty through it. It enriches us, which politics will never do, and I truly think it's the only thing that can save us

>>16417378
Breakfast tends to be the shortest meal, but for me it's the most important. The can is shyly sitting at the edge of the table. Come closer child, no need to be coy. Beans. Everything withers and dies away, so will you, so will I. Beans.
A cheeseless breakfast, probably the thousandth. You will do. Beans.
The light is still blinking, and I forgot morse. It does seem a bit more distraught. "Hey John, can you help out?" John is a funny fella, he never answers. "John?" Well, let us leave him be. Beans.
Awaiting further orders once the button is pressed really takes its toll. I should leave some for John. Beans. Ah well, finders keepers.
The beans look pristine, I lift them to my mouth, spoonful by spoonful I devour them, slowly inspecting each one with my tongue. Each of them, a different character, each of them, a different taste. The way they break under my teeth and then glide straight into my belly is close to orgasmic. Beans. John never comes. I hope I'll find a peace he has. Beans

I spent all day writing. Essays that I've known for months I would need to. But it's been fun, and really, I'm not feeling like much else anyway. I finished the first essay on translation today. The way I got sucked into, thinking about its twists and turns, is reassuring me that I could actually make a living out of it.

Dude, the creepy Nazi shit and such was uncalled for but at the same time, what the FUCK were you thinking? The fire station, big bang theory, Charlie brown, kid shows- that is all FUCKING painful for me. Okay??? Because YOU like something does not mean everyone else will. If I ever hear about bazinga again I will paint the walls with your fucking blood.

im so fucking sick and tired of listen to vaush's bad-faith and vapid non-sequiturs. this nasty, moralising, hypocritical piece of shit makes more money shit-talking and smearing his political opponents than i will for years yet and somehow has the audacity to advocate for democratic ownership and the total abolition of private enterprise... get fucked, you fat, miserable cunt.

*"sick and tired," although proverbial and derivative, precisely describes my feelings. no other political commentator can incense and tire me like vaush can. i'd surely drown long before ever discovering the real depths of his stupidity... that is if i don't choke on my own vomit first for all the forcibly-induced cringe and frustration.

i am getting hysterical. i will have to take a couple days away from politics again.

although, the world would genuinely be a brighter place without this loathsome little worm-man.
i don't go in for utopic visions, and think the idea is dangerous in and of itself, but a few moments of imagining a world without vaush felt like trekking through some beautiful dreamscape and touching god. maybe that's too sentimental or hyperbolic, but i know it would be better.

it is difficult thinking of anything nice to say about him.

i suppose it's pretty incredible that even the most dishonest and sniveling cretins can become accomplished and influential.

remarkable what a difference even the smallest man can make.

I am so fucking angry, I want to go out of the window.

It's impossible to fall in love with current day women. Young men have no reason to do anything as the creation of the family is massively postponed or fully avoided, society collapses.

it was just a dream for the teen, who was a fiend

>just found out jews have to fucking pay to go to synagogue
>high holidays cost extra
>found this out from a jew
>who was telling me how he scams the synagogues into letting him in for free because he's too cheap to pay

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAJAHAHAHAHAHA

>>16422101
Holy fuck

>>16421541
knees

>>16422101
based as hell

>>16422101
Jews playing Jewish tricks on other Jews playing Jewish tricks. Pure poetry.

You don't have to be a religious man or believe in God to see that pure evil exists in this world.

i havent seen buttercunt in a while. i hope she's safe and doing well. or better yet. she's left.

>>16417422
I like the first three lines the best. But overall good.

>>16421541
>ywn save her
why live

>>16417378
Live as if the world hates you and you will be free

>>16422308
Yes, you do.

i hate that im forced by years of evolution to talk and be friendly with people. i wonder what humans would be like if we weren't so heavily encouraged by our bodies to have relationships with people.
maybe the next step in our evolution is becoming transhumanist, schizoid workers birthed by artificial wombs and raised by ai since knowledge can now be spread through the cloud without all of the cumbersome social elements involved. being honest though, very few people would be comfortable with a change like that even if it would be for the better since it would most likely mean an end of close relationships for the first people to try this new technology along with all of the ethical barriers in the way.

>>16420170
Me, and the world: was one ugly before the other? Did I defile the world, or did the world defile me?

Like temptation to skin, the mosquito bite is best scratched obliquely. Painful when stimulated with force, incessant when ignored, the symptom of parasite descended disease.

Get ready for the Mega Ramp Extreme City GT Car Racing Tricks and join extreme driving with this vertical mega car ramp 3d stunt. This is an impossible car stunt. A game on impossible tracks of a car racing stunts to enjoy a fast racing challenge over an impossible vertical mega ramp. Crazy car stunt driving has an adventure game and supercar stunt racing updates. This is a mega death car ramp Stunts Racing - city GT car stunts new road action game 2019. Will you be able to take on the ultimate formula impossible traces of a car game challenge? If yes, so get into the car in this hi speed formula, fasten your seat belt while holding the steering wheel and enjoy extreme speed stunts on real impossible tracks in this crazy city challenge race. In this impossible race car race track, you have an amazing mid-air accelerates a creepy stunt car driving simulator, modern cars are waiting to be run in for a talented racer. Prepare yourself to meet all the basic requirements of GT racing games to lead your way forward in the world of GT car racing games. The groundbreaking Mega Ramp Car Stunts brings a new kind of atmosphere in which you have to make a grand show with your in-house driving skills in the Mega Ramp Car Stunts Racing - City GT Car Racing. Prove yourself the number one Contester stunt car game by enjoying a special drive on tricky stunts tracks of complex car stunt games. You have a great opportunity to have an accurate picture of the real nature of stunt cars, which provide you with the natural reeds from the car stunt racing games. Leave all the traditional stunt player player car game far behind in using the special stunt skills of stuntmen engine racing games, proving your abilities on crazy tracks an impossible car driver game. Be active and agile by showing off your Baubles from the best stunt games of the game to avoid all the obstacles and barriers of stuntmen car freestyle games. Game Features: Learn crazy car driving skills impracticable sci-fi tracks, vertical mega ramps Keep full attention on driving and driving multiple cameras Unique HD stunt tracks

Why does this board hate women and Jews so much?

>>16423363
/lit/ doesn't hate women and jews wtf

>>16423363
What >>16423459 said. I am a Jewish woman and I love to post here on the Lit board. Sometimes they tell me to “dilate” though. I feel welcomed.

>>16423363
Where the hell does it say we should tolerate diversity like the plethora of leftist sites you most likely visit? Fucking locust

AAAAAAAAGH!!!!!

I could have shitposted in my journal to keep it private.
But i shitpost on the forums.
Becuase i am inspired by op, so i feel deserves my response
and becuase i feel like all my good ideas will go to waste if i don't
they may just die in the journals.
I keep reminding myself that the muse libes a rich life in ideas,
but the material world seems more enticing to me than thoughts and dreams
i want to make my dreams a reality
so i give my ideas to others
where i revieved contentment
i now feel contemp and jelousy
like satan fall from grace i feel like i have been manipulated by reality and its others to extact value out of me.
but maybe that my fault for not building something around my value.
How could I?
when i was so preoccupied with friendship and masturbation?

>>16423536
>I don't hate jews and women
>Wtf what is with all these leftist ideas??

If accepting women and jews is your idea of leftism, then everyone left of Reagan must be a leftist haha.

It takes three firings to become utterly numb to the notion.

this thread is evidence anyone under 27 should not write

>>16423580
>t. newly 28

WHYYYYYY WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU PUT THE APPLE IN THE GARDEN! YOU KNEW WHAT WOULD HAPPEN, AND YOU KNEW WHAT IT WOULD ENTAIL! WAS IT A GIFT? WAS IT A PUNISHMENT? WHYYYYYY?! WHY WONT YOU HELP ME! I CANT STOP COOMING! WHY DID YOU MAKE US THIS WAY?

‘In every age of the world, and in the history of every country, we find instances more or less numerous of men and women who, preferring the dim uncertainty of the future to the painful realities of the present, have sought relief from all their troubles by suddenly terminating their existence.’

In late 2017, I was going to kill myself.

A year-long experience of complete emotional self-destruction, replete with a sequentially increasing level of internal self-hatred culminated into one all-consuming idea: ending my own life. This idea became so prevalent, so ubiquitous, that I would obsessively return to the idea at the first sign of tension. Every night before sleep I would press my pathetic hands are hard as I could onto my pathetic eyes and think:

I hope to whatever God is out there that I don’t wake up tomorrow. Please. Please, I need this. Release me. Someone like me doesn’t deserve to live, with a personality as narcissistic and a mind as self-serving as mine.

It was always to that effect, anyway.

However, despite all my supposed inner turmoil and suicidal ideation, I never followed through and killed myself. I would simply wish for it to become so as if I could be as much of a non-participant in my death as I had been in my life up to that point. That’s not to say that I didn’t come close though. On December 7th, around 2:00 am, I rose from my bed.

I thought ‘This is the last time I will ever get out of bed’.

I shuffled down the stairs. ‘This is the last time I will ever walk down this or any other set of stairs’.

I opened the case of my dad’s Model 870 and loaded 1 shell into the barrel. ‘This is the last gun I will ever load’.

I put the cold barrel into my mouth. ‘This will be the last thing I ever d.. wait, this is going to make a lot of mess, isn’t it?’.

Not one to be inconsiderate, I tapped a large survival tarp onto the wall and floor behind me. Because, you know

It would be awful inconsiderate for my mother to have to clean up the walls and carpet after her son completely soaked it with his stupid fucking blood and brain matter.

So then, finally, I leaned up against the wall. I put the gun into my mouth (making sure to aim up through the roof of my palette to ensure I hit my brain). I took a deep breath and I pulled the trigger. And…

Nothing.

The safety was on.

At that point, there was far too much trepidation built up and I couldn't follow through. Again, I proved myself to be the existential coward, too afraid of something that he knew was not to be feared.

And so I removed the tarp, locked up the gun, walked back up the stairs, collapsed into my bed, and cried.

Truly, this is the struggle that only those who have no real struggle face.

I woke up the next day, and my dad was passed-out drunk on the floor already - it wasn't even 8:30 yet. And every time I looked at his crumpled body, I couldn't help but think of mine, blood leaking out all over the basement floor. And just how truly similar we really were.

>>16423704
Jesus Christ, that one hit for some reason.

Having no social life, brain, or personality to speak of I have turned to alcohol. All this does is back me into the corner I am already moving towards. There is no hope. One cannot will themselves to be smarter, politics has no solution, and people are so beyond me they are practically gods (or angels, lower case g). there is no way out. My life ending would reduce entropy in some sense, which is about all I can hope for at this point. Even class is a clusterfuck, it's all beyond me. Abandon hope, all ye who enter here etc.

>>16423704
are you feeling better these days anon? i know how hard it can be to escape that mindset.

>>16423363
same reason everybody else hates them, women are stupid and shallow and they drag down any discourse to the bare minimum level of effort they're willing to put in, and men let them because they're simps. lots of jews rot countries from the inside and promote their mixing with foreigners while wanting the exact opposite for jews.

exceptions are welcome to post here. even nonexceptions can post as long as they don't mind being made fun of.

roasties just don't last long here, not because they are mocked but because they aren't given extra respect just for being a roastie. if a woman is forced to contribute or be ignored, same as man, she will usually just leave for greener pastures where her vagina is worth more.

half this board is probably jews though, i'm a jew.

The weather is finally cooling down and the sun is coming up later and later. At night the wind has begun howling outside my window and when I walk back to my room my arms and my face tingle as they heat back up. I've started reading fantasy again. Soon it will start to snow and when it does I will curl up in my chair, my blanket wrapped around me, put on December by George Winston for yet another relisten, and sip piping hot apple cider from a mug. I love this time of year.

I just found out the official name of the Berlin Wall was the Anti-Fascist Protection Rampart. Absolutely hilarious.

I just dont know anymore. Maybe i never knew in the first place.

When you're all alone...do you ever sit and wonder what life is all about?

When you're all alone...have you ever really talked to yourself and realized nobody understands you?

When you realize nobody understads you...does a sickness swirl wthin you that you can;t seem to quell no matter how hard you try?

When the sickness overcomes you...do you ever want to die?

When you want do die...do you always change your mind

When you change your mind...do you ever wonder why?

>>16422101
There's several countries that impose a so-called church tax on its members.

>>16423704
Yeesh, this is really visceral

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETsT1svBHpE

holy shit!

>>16423842
I'm better, yes. Things got really rough again recently though, and I was thinking back to that time in my life. Not going to kill myself, that was ridiculous. But, it's always leering

>>16425820
What?

America is fucking insane. Armed militia groups prowling the streets. What the heck.

"I see America spreading disaster. I see America as a black curse upon the world. I see a long night settling in and that mushroom which has poisoned the world withering at the roots." -Henry Miller

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=EMrlb7Pmick&feature=emb_logo

A tiny bug crawled into my screen and died there after moving around for a bit. Now there's a small, downright minuscule dot staining my screen. It's not a big deal and I can just ignore it if I focus on the center of the screen. However, it is still there. And I am getting more and more irked by its presence, because I know that whenever I turn my gaze to that spot, it will be there.
Sometimes I'll be watching a video, movie, you name it, and if a character is in that part of the screen, I see the bug.
I don't even have OCD, at least, I have never been diagnosed. I don't have weird compulsive habits either. But it's actually eating away at my mental peace and making me more anxious than a fucking bug has any right to.
I am rationally aware of the pettiness of this situation, but emotionally I'm sick of it.
Most of all, I lament how little control over myself I have, and how fucking useless all that philosophy I've read is if I cannot deal with something so puny.

Some days I really love learning Greek but then I would love to strangle the bastard that decided we needed 20 different words for "the".

had 4 bowls of cornflakes for dinner today. you gotta get in on this cornflake-game. just make sure you find an off-brand with less than 5 on the sugar indicator. if you have that it's basically healthy

>>16428248
It a genuinely garbage food and you're not doing yourself any favors by eating it. Get some oatmeal and put some walnuts in it. Throw in a little cinnamon and some whey powder and not only is it extremely delicious, it's good for the brain and body.

>>16417378
Wow, even Rose agrees!

Rose and Abordo. Who next? Seems just about everyone thinks you're a dork and your father is rotting in Hell!

>oh no he mwade fun of conan doyle!

dude, go fuck yourself. Your dad sucks dick in Hell.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>16427414
I always wonder how annoying it must for people who live in other countries to see and hear news about America 24/7 when they watch international channels. Just an ongoing Baudrillardian spectacle.

>>16427414
All is created and destroyed by the void.
Eating healthy only became an idea when unhealthy foods starts to be produced.
Only with the negative can new ideas be birthed. America is this negative.

>>16417378
Mr. Handsome strikes again!

Come on, Mendicino. Cheer up. This makes you laugh?

These riots are getting fucking boring. They were just shooting at the cops in Louisville and it's just like meh whatever. It's not even dark yet on the west coast yet, but I'm not staying up to watch this crap. Who gives a shit.

I hover in a state of indeterminate existence. Neither suffering nor prospering, my life has become a neutral, sterile exercise in mere being. I am simultaneously a something and a nothing. To sound out my mind is to hear a cavernous echo into a depthless pit.

How will we procreate once we have adapted prosthetic bodies?

>>16427173
thats good to hear.
you seem like a smart guy. i trust that you'll find your way out of this harsh mentality. it already sounds like you're slowly cracking the code through the years.

Why can I get flashes of nostalgia where it's like I can almost psychically "taste" the way I felt playing a video game when I was 12

I don't mean a nostalgic melancholy overall memory like "times were so much simpler then" but the pure raw feeling of it, not even a whole feeling more like streaks or aspects of it like how all the colors were more real and the translucent hud felt like a cool wind. It's like remembering an LSD trip when you've only ever had one and you forgot about it, it's remembering not just a fact or moment but something your mind doesn't evne do anymore.

Did I feel that way at the time and I've now lost it and only get the occasional tatter or fragment? Am I projecting something? Am I low dopamine and normal people still experience their new experiences in the way I did when I was 12, before I broke?

I don't even want to recapture the feeling necessarily, as I said I don't want some melancholy nostalgia or to relive my past, I want to UNDERSTAND what this is, I want to understand memory and be able to study it internally and unlock more and more of this. People tell me I should try drugs but what if the drugs break me more or fuck me up permanently.

I would do anything to understand these tatters and feelings and be able to have them in the conscious deliberate grasp of my mind instead of always already in the middle of slipping away like I arrived on the scene too late when I try to turn consciously to them. I would do anything just to read about consciousness in a way that talks about these experiences and doesn't only talk vaguely about "thinking."

one exchanges the dread of youth for the physical pain of old age

Balls

>>16430402
I had a deeply emotional experience after watching a tv show. I’ve started reading fucking Postmodern philosophy to try and come up with some sort of answer as to why I had such a radical emotional reaction to some silly tv show. If I figure it out anon, I’ll let you know.

I keep making excuses

>nowhere in the study regulations does it say how many pieces and what kind of secondary literature I'm supposed/allowed to use for my paper

>>16417378
I love my friends, and I love my best friend, but she's borderline, and I kind of resent always having to be careful with what I say and feel. She wants to meet up today, but I don't. So, instead of just being able to tell her this, I always have to make excuses and promise her I'm not mad, and I still love her and I know it still bothers her, and it's so exhausting. Dealing with people is exhausting.

Sometimes I just don't want to be around anyone at all.

>>16417378
All this cloying hagiography of Ruth Ginsburg is tiresome. There was nothing that special about the old crone. I truly don't understand why people care so much about such things.

I don't know how many more years I have in me bros, reality is so fucking absurd. I just want the thoughts to stop. I want to ask how people cope with so much death and misery around them, but I already know the biological answers and that's what I hate. The game is so fucking rigged. Anything beyond this world would defy the conditions that allow my conciousness, perception and personality in the first place so there is nothing better to hope for than a cease of existence. Any form of life after death would mean this hell of a world is more than a bad joke and I can imagine nothing scarier. People keep dying around me and I'm expected to spend 50 some more years here building life only to watch it crumble again. Yes, I consolidate myself and others by saying ''that's life'' but it's ultimately a statement that assumes this reality gives one shit about conscious well-being. I will keep living for the sake of my family but I panic at the thought of letting those same people down by growing old without kids.

>>16418455
all modern women are mentally ill, addicted to birth control and casual sex

>>16418455
>I still hope we can talk once again in the future and that this isn't the end..
NGMI LOOOOOL

>>16432095
I heard that in 25 years on the court she hired only one black law clerk and he was like Shaun King complexion.

I'm fucking sick and tired beyond words of people, I'm sick and tired of feelings of inadequacy. rejection is something I learned to cherish in order to grow but fuck it I'm not asking anymore "Why am I not enough? why am I never enough?" to myself I AM ENOUGH fuck these hoes and fake friends if I have to walk a path of loneliness and self growth in the darkness so be it. not wasting another worthless fucking day in this sad globe called earth checking messages from people who don't give a shit if I live or die. don't wanna be my friend? fuck you eat shit & die.

Bummed out thinking about my circumcision when I was a kid due to phimosis. Mom and dad didn't knew any better and my dick is okay as far as I'm concerned, I have no way to compare it,but it's crazy how we blindly trust "specialists" and how lack of information can affect someone's life forever. When I have a son I will make sure he eats and breathes properly through his nose and no one shall touch him with a scalpel.

>>16432152
>I just want the thoughts to stop.
You're cultivating despair, anon - I understand.
The negative thought-loops and the disgust.
You need to save yourself anon, it's current year - very few people are incarnating as the returning savior, you can't depend on chance if it's gotten to this point.
Understand and reject the dread, anon - you must.

Can someone explain why my deep and thoughtful thread about the existence of free will has been deleted jannies/mods?
Why was my philosophy thread removed while countless other philosophy / shitpost threads are allowed to stay up?
>>16430226
>>16432562
>>16432720
>>16431890
>>16429936
>>16431923
>>16431929
>>16432022
As well as countless free will threads made before mine that could gather 200+ replies?
It honestly seems to me that the only reason my thread was deleted was because the mod didn't like me and didn't have any counter arguments for my arguments.

>>16418455
what painter is this?

>>16417378
Don't wanna create a new thread so I'm gonna ask here.

Any books about male friendship? I never had a friend and never will so I want to know this feeling.

I'm 25yo white boy

>>16433554
narcissus and goldmund

starting tomorrow and for 5 days after is the first paper-writing period of the semester. I'm reasonably well prepared as far as the material goes but I am not feeling it man. just feels like tomorrow my life goes crazy. like the shitty day before d-day of a spoiled asshole.

>>16433554
The Aubrey-Maturin books.

How do we pressure 4chan into creating a philosophy/religion board??????!!!!!

>>16433888
then what would this board be for?

>>16433888
Maybe try the contact form?
https://www.4channel.org/contact

>>16433888
>>16434146
Actually the feedback form has a board request option. I might be the first user of this site to discover this form existed.

https://www.4channel.org/feedback

if every attempt at thinking about God is blasphemous, since by necessity it means comparing God to things that are not Him, how then are we supposed to approach Him? how can we "come nearer" to Him if we can not pick a direction?
>inb4 spirituality
I feel like that just postpones the problem to the day (which will never come) when you master the spiritual.

the language must mean something different in the spiritual than in the material world, so that in the material it serves as a sign, and in the spiritual... maybe also as a sign, I don't know, but if so in a different way.

I used to have this image in my head of how I understood Gods relation to the material world, which I thought was helping me but I think I've realised that it was holding me back, because it implied that the two could be compared. the question is how to approach God, and I suspect the answer is at least "not through the faculties of knowing".

My marriage is crumbling as my wife is getting sucked into wokeness more and more, meanwhile I find myself drifting ever right on race and immigration inadvertently. Things were okay before, standard boohooing about migrants in cages or whatever, but infrequent enough to ignore. Now with quarantine, nothing to do, nowhere to go, no friends to see in a new city, and nonstop race riots for months on end things have escalated to a tipping point. Daily silence while she browses Twitter endlessly, playing at standard domesticity as we eat dinner together, but the underlying coldness in her eyes tells me that there’s nothing left. While I’ve always wanted children I struggle to imagine a positive future for them that would make it worthwhile. Finding an intelligent woman that isn’t woke and self-loathing is a lost cause. I’m slowly steeling myself for the reality of living and being alone again

>>16434293
there's a hadith of the prophet Muhammad (pbuh) where he compares women to a rib in that in our perspective they are crooked, but if we try to straighten them out all that happens is they break. I understand the meaning to be that there are going to be times when we absolutely will not understand our wives, but this is how it is supposed to be, this is by design. If we fight them over it all that happens is we cause harm. Better is to try and seek out the wisdom. In a chapter of the Qur'an God compares men and women to night and day: completely different, but each defining and giving meaning to the other. We are going to have differences with our wives, but if we did not I don't think we would have loved them.

And God knows best.
Praying for you anon.

I spend every moment dreading the next.

>>16432155
women are just fine, it's the men

>>16434396
I completely agree and wouldn’t want to make her be just like me, expecting women to be like men is foolishness. That’s why I despair at finding another partner, pretty much any feminine woman will be woke to some degree by nature, the ones who aren’t are most likely larping attention seekers. In a way I wonder if I chose poorly with my wife since she is so much like me, we’re both stubborn argumentative people, which is fine when there’s consensus but collapses when there are differences. I’ve largely given up trying to debate her and am striving to strengthen our common ground, but it’s feeling like a lost cause. It doesn’t help when feminist buzzwords like trauma are thrown around at the drop of a hat, which makes me question the union entirely.

Thank you for the kind words friend.

>>16434423
ok roastie

>>16434153
Nice. Submitted a form.
Please everyone else ask them as well!

>>16434496
You totally missed my point, idiot...

>>16434533
>t. powerless "male" blaming mental children for not being more mature

dude, it's your job to put them in their place

>>16434634
>you can put modern "women" in their place
ok roastie

>>16434611
Then enlighten me nigger

Crack is a very addictive drug. Damn. I've binged it twice and now I want more. Heroin is okay. But crack is the one. I dream of getting a five grams and locking myself in a hotel room for two weeks. I won't do it. The hangover was hell. Headache for two days. Then I bought a hammer to nail myself to a tree and hang myself. My mum found the hammer and now everyone knows about my suicidal thoughts. I don't regret anything though. My poor family. They're suffering a lot more than me. I'm the one with the nuclear button. They're just preying I don't press it. And I'm here laughing the whole way. I think there must be something wrong with me. I fantasise about going to prison. Now that would be interesting. It would be intense but also be chill and boring. A perfect environment for me. I think I'll become a nurse. That will be my arc of redemption. I'll be shit at it. But at least it will be interesting. The days drag on. At least I have alcohol. But that's another problem. I don't think I'll ever get my shit together. But I'm okay with that. I feel sort of invincible. It's a good feeling. But also a very deluded one. I'm a very deluded person. It is my strength and my weakness. Maybe I'll turn it all around. I can't imagine ever being a father. Bringing another life into this existence seems like hell to me. I wouldn't wish that on another living thing. I lack empathy. But I'm also very caring and sensitive. My personality is full of contradictions. I have too much time. I'm self-destructive. It's hard finding something to feel hopeful for. My grandma is ninety-four. That's fucking old. I brought her a small rose plant today and she loved it. She's an amazing woman. Full of laughter. In bed now. Probably a while to I can sleep but I just got to wait. Boring. I'll imagine I'm in a hostage situation. A gun at my head. That will pass the time. Tomorrow is a new day (fuck). Peace and love.

>>16434775
man that was another guy, he wasn't the guy who responded first

>>16435068
I pray that God will meet you at the bottom. He will not lose hope for you.

I better not drink another liter of whisky and cringe-post all over this site. I could literally be doing anything else with my time.

>>16435348
find an empty jar and put your whiskey in it
that makes it harder to drink

I should move out of parents place and get a job but im too afraid of obligations, pretentiousness and regret that i keep living in ignorance. To top all of that im 28.

I am always searching for an ultimate truth. I have found reason in my life yet I continue to search for ultimate reason. It's holding me back. I continue to search for my reason instead of moving forward.

>>16435758
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9MT82RwdeI

Wilted Flowers

Looking at bouquets
I found some scrappy flowers
with crumpled brown petals.
But they were fringed with blue
like frostbitten fingers,
so I knew, their brilliance lay furled.
I took them home with me,
and when they finally revived,
they looked so cold, garbed in
silky petals, like a woman
in sapphire taffeta, who would
have nothing to do with me.

I broke up with my girlfriend, and I'm scared of ending up alone.

I have a fiance but also a massive desire to breed other girls and women and possibly have two wives, but I know in modern Western globohomo society having two wives will be near impossible. I might just have a bastard child in secret and send the mother money each month. I really, really want to breed multiple women. It isn't even sexual at this point it is like a imperative. I am a 30 year old white male.

>>16436332
>not thin lizzy version
big gay

>>16436390
Ew.

>>16436390
>>16436967
This is a beautiful pairing of posts, displaying both genders at their most archetypal. The man is expressing the deep paradox of masculinity, the juxtaposition of the desire to worship and protect a single woman, the mother of your children, for the rest of your life, and the desire to impregnate as many women as possible and plant as much seed as possible across the earth. The woman is expressing her primeval feminine instinct to destroy behavior she dislikes by shaming it socially so that the tribe will reject it.

The man is planning, scheming, at odds with himself, in a state of existential dread because he cannot find firm ground to stand on. The woman sees all this, all of it, all its mental and spiritual content, she takes this external phenomenon in all of its complexity and reduces it to a single point of reference for herself: how do I feel about it? I feel bad. Therefore, "ew."

No woman could express a tension between two irreconcilable positions like this man does. A woman would occupy each position alternately, at maximum intensity, rotating between them at blazingly high speeds, with perfect faith and conviction for whatever position they happen to be holding at a given moment. But they could never express the actual tension between the two positions as a distinct fact.

Contrariwise no man could express the infinite simplicity and unity of the feminine: I don't like how this makes me feel, therefore it is shameful and should be expelled. Even the "therefore" is superfluous. No man would ever think to say "ew." He could fight, he could yell, he could write a treatise, or start a political movement, or create a new religion or a new deduction of his own views showing the impossibility of his opponent's. But he would never think to express "I don't like that it is bad it must be expelled someone expel it for me" as a single thought, with singular content, as a single thought and expression, in a single phoneme: "ew."

You two must now have a child.

>>16437046
lmao tldr. rent free

>>16420447
But anon this is a poem...

>>16434293
>Things were okay before, standard boohooing about migrants in cages or whatever
You never really had anything together, you just had enough other things going on in your life to tolerate each other. Most relationships are like this though.

>>16436654
>not the dubliners version
quadruple infinity gay
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlWTASnnft4

>>16423363
>>>/pol/

Golden light slanting through a cloudbreak. Catching the grass at grazing angles. There's a beautiful woman, pretty shape. She's out with two dogs. A husky and a corgi. No, a shibu. Cute dogs. Her hair's cut short at her shoulders, her pants are black and cling to her legs like shrinkwrap. Her top is a loose gray sweater. She squats, perfectly, and takes a picture of the dogs with her phone. When she stands her midriff comes out as a tantalizing wedge of bare skin. She's gone; I wrote that sentence and she's gone. Only at a distance anymore. The clouds come back and the world turns a flat gray like that sweater. Life continues for some reason.

>>16437046
Beautiful post, anon. I admire your thought

>>16434408
Why?

>>16437189
Doesn't even make sense

I can start relationships, but I can't develop them further.
afaik the fact that I'm horrible at sex, have a small dick and am not a very good conversation leader always makes the girls dislike me early on.
I'll never start disliking women in the incel way though, this is my fault not theirs.
If anyone has reccs for this or has similar experience, please share.

>>16423363
I dont hate women, i just consider them to be evil, which they are.

>>16439652
The sex part can at least be fixed, deep penetration is not as important to women as stimulating the clitoris and gentle kisses and caresses in just the right places. That last one is achieved through some practice and paying attention to how she reacts.
I'm afraid I can't help you with the conversation part, I have trouble with that too.

You know how it is

>>16439664
Thanks for the answer.
>The sex part can at least be fixed
it's not just what you think. I always take long to be ready in between rounds. This can perhaps be changed too, but maybe I'm hyposexual and it translates into them feeling underappreciated. I'm very anxious because of it and I think it has to do with my depression combined with anemia.
Maybe I'm not cut for relationships and should focus on other things.

>>16437046
put down the fedora before you post

>>16419505
I've been doing the same thing, and a lot of people I know have also, even though we didn't give each other the idea. I think spending more time at home or working from home has made us notice how little we use and how much space it takes up. I sold books too and noticed some clothes I haven't worn in years because they were too worn out to wear in public but not comfortable enough to wear at home. Finally throwing them out made me much better.

>>16417378
does anyone know what the scientific term for "appearance" is? Everything I find is too specific, like physiognomy, but that's only the study of human faces. I mean the whole appearance of both humans and animals.

Can someone help me think up a good name for someone who needs to dominate in every intimate domain, to the point that it's pathetic? Say you shared a living room and left your book on the coffee table, you'd come back to find they placed their book on top of yours. It wouldn't be noticeable if they weren't doing it with everything all the time.

Reddit voice is thick today. Feel like listening to Vivaldi. You're gonna crash every party, huh? Well alright.

>>16440531
Asshole

I lost Jesus.

>>16440639
A little more specific.

>>16440698
I've always had an uneasy relationship with Christ. The Father, the Holy Spirit? Comfortable. Effortless. The Son? Tense. I often don't like your relationship with him either. I don't like how you candy-coat his message. He was often a bewildering man, but you've turned him into Micky Mouse. You want me to be Micky Mouse too.

>>16440883
> I often don't like your relationship with him either. I don't like how you candy-coat his message. He was often a bewildering man, but you've turned him into Micky Mouse. You want me to be Micky Mouse too.

What are you talking about? I know he was hardcore.

I'm an atheist really. I meant I AM the father and i lost Jesus because he died on the cross and didn't resurrect. I'm a lot like Dostoevsky.

>>16441089
I have no idea what you're talking about, but I've been meaning to read Dostoevsky. I read a few pages of The Idiot and he was describing someone who knows the cousin of every acquaintance. I wasn't in the mood to think about that type of person, so I stopped.

Lit sure is shit today.

>>16440698
Have you tried asking at the lost-and-found office?

I am sceptical of pan-theism. then I would be God, meeting me in the form of experience of time, which are both also me. No this is highly suspicious. Rather I think of me as something I don't know, brought into the world to encounter it as God willed it to be. So that the world is an expression Gods will, rather than His being. Maybe there's something crucial I'm missing, but I am under the semi-informed impression that a lot of people who probably knew better than me have disagreed some way or another. Perhaps there is a third way here.

>>16440698
read correctly it is not possible to lose Jesus. Jesus is the exemplar of a good man, granted signs by God to prove his reality as our rightful teacher, and, I agree, in some sense our saviour (if perhaps not our only saviour, and only ever by the will of God). If you read the bible and you see that Jesus is good (and you will), then you have Jesus.

As a muslim I would like to suggest that a possible reason for your confusion is that maybe you take Jesus to be your god. I imagine that would lead to all sorts of confusion. I can't speak to the reality of God, but I can be quite certain that it can not be captured in a man.

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVH0mzyuQd4

If you like poetry add Tolerated Yone#9452 on discord

It has started to rain buckets outside, and it's so dark I can hardly see anything, I can hear a fire-alarm, muffled, in the distance.
I'm adapting to the change of season by no choice of my own, and I am feeling an undercurrent of optimism, despite nothing having changed, and I dislike it, it feels foreign to me and mismatched to my life, what's it doing here?
No problem, it'll wither away through the winter, that's for sure.

Women have too loud a voice in society.

As an American I hate American. So many fat people blabbering about trivial things they’ve been conditioned into thinking matter. I’m largely indifferent as to this country’s future.

As an woman I hate women. So many menstruating people blabbering about trivial things they’ve been conditioned into thinking matter. I’m largely indifferent as to this gender’s future.

>>16439822
>Ew

proving his point

The focus on "power" within the social sciences are going to create a near infinite amount of bullshit activism, we will literally never be free from "career" activists and I am feeling tired just from thinking about that..
I feel like "my" state is already bending over backwards to accommodate foreign minorities, and yet, there is no doubt in my mind there is going to be plenty of whiny literature coming out in the next 10 years decrying the "oppressive" Norwegian people. Urrrgh..

long story short there's a woman I kind of know from a couple of years ago that reached out to me. you could say we met while traveling. I got pretty infatuated with her back then, and tried to keep in touch but it petered out. Both her and me have a history of mental illness, and in some ways I think maybe we understood eachother. She reached out like half a year ago, but the thing of it is that we live on opposite sides of the world, and with her being as broken as she is, and me too, it's just a bad idea... I guess the fundamental problem here is I feel sorry for her. Maybe I'm being manipulated, but I believe she needs a confidant that gets her. This just sounds off when I write it out, but that's good. To wrap it up she wrote now again, but this time I basically told her straight: for me this all is difficult, cus I'm just gonna get feelings again and there's no point. At the same time I figure if she's reaching out to me, she's probably pretty desperate for human contact, so I told her we can talk, but without cam cus I'll just get sucked in again. I went with pure honesty, just straight up this is exactly what is going through my mind. So now obviously I can't estimate where on the real-cringy scale this lands me, an obviously for better or worse I'm gonna be thinking about this a lot.. man I'm probably just being manipulated for something, but I'm not even sure she knows what she's doing. I just felt I couldn't leaver her out in the cold (she never expressed anything like it but she seems like a prime suicide risk, and she reached out), and I couldn't just march myself into the insanity of the infatuation again. Maybe I discovered a whole new approach to life, we'll see. I bet she'll be surprised though.

I see a chasm welling near my feet, like it did before. Thoughts are crumbling to ash as I grasp for them and as they’re blown away by a wind I hadn’t before noticed I struggle to recall their original shape. I feel an undoing coming on. My original intention to write is smeared. Whatever

I see a chasm welling near my feet, like it did before. Thoughts are crumbling to ash as I grasp for them and as they’re blown away by a wind I hadn’t before noticed I struggle to recall their shape. I feel an undoing coming on. My original intention to write is smeared. Whatever

>"uhhh, of course sex is part of romance? What do you mean 'you wouldn't mind not having sex with your girlfriend' dude?"
>"what do you mean you don't find any celebrities 'hot'?"
>"because sex is the point of a relationship?"
>"I wasn't talking about cuddling when I said 'the things I'd do to her' man, what you talking about?"
>"anon, the 'ideal gf' you just described sounds more like a live-in best friend than a lover."
am I an unironic asexual? I don't undestand.

>>16443606
Do you have a gf

>>16443606
have you ever kissed the girl?

I just found the cutest little femboy, definitely need to make an account on that site I found him on tomorrow and hope that he'll like me. Wish me luck, bros.

>>16445312
Goodluck faggot

>>16417378
Ravioli
Ravioli
Ravaging a cutie loli

Does dating women get any easier? I can’t help thinking over every little thing in a relationship. It’s invading my headspace normally used for literature. I feel as though I have no clear understanding of my gfs motives. Do you get better at understanding women? Perhaps the woman I’m with is just very shy and doesn’t convey emotion well?

>>16445628
The less you care about the content of their expressions the easier it gets.

Yelling at people doesn't work. Giving people advice doesn't work, no matter how correct that advice may be. People need to make their mistakes on their own. The most you can hope for is that they'll remember even a tiny bit of what you said and take it on board. Some people don't want to change, no matter how they say they do. What can you do for such people? Cut them off? I don't think so - such people are a part of life.

>>16445628
Dating in the sense of long term relationships does get easier, but sometimes for the wrong reasons. For a lot people it gets easier because they become numb to the annoying or unhealthy parts of their relationships. Some aspects of relationships are so annoying that you really welcome the numbness when it finally comes. This can be benign, normal callouses building up, but it can also lull you into complacency that would have surprised your younger self.

That level of numbness is bad, but some of it is normal with experience. Three relationships in and you're going to be pretty damn aware of what you love and hate in a woman, and moreover, what you hate in yourself when you're around women. For instance you might hate passive aggression or self-indulgent sulkiness in women, but you will only recognize this clearly enough to confront it properly in your second or third relationship, and in hindsight you'll realize that you mostly reacted to it unconsciously (and stupidly) in a previous one. There's the shitty thing itself, and then there's the knowledge of how your own foibles and instincts play into the thing when it happens. That's why growing together with a person is cool, because you're both doing this in tandem.

Communication is really important. Especially if you're the type who actively wants to understand and talk about things. Not everybody is like that. That's another thing you learn with experience, that there are personalities and traits you vibe with and clash with. You may find in hindsight that a later gf is 100 times easier to deal with because she communicates. But some other guy would hate her for "overthinking everything," and prefer your other chick who didn't communicate. Some women or couples get on perfectly fine by building up to the occasional explosion and then having a few months of smooth sailing again. Others would find this intolerable. Sometimes you think you know your "type" down pat, and then you fall in love with an infuriating moron woman who goes against everything you thought you liked. That's where experience helps.

>I have no clear understanding of my gfs motives. Do you get better at understanding women?
Depends on the woman. Some women are easy to understand because they are so damn erratic. They're either in normal mode or they're in crazy mode, and you just tune out and tolerate it if they're in crazy mode. Some guys like dealing with women this way, and some women like being this way, like I said.

Most women are also shit at communicating and have a lifetime of men reinforcing it by doing what I just described. Sounds like you want a girl who communicates though.

I wish I could find a quality, discerning literary magazine that reviewed new fiction and nonfiction that isn't A) leftist B) retard rightist C) mainstream grovelling D) polluted by social media. If I found it I'd read every issue cover to cover.

>>16445837
Thanks so much for this post, it clarified a lot of things for me. Yes, I would like a girl who communicates more.

I’m sad wanna die

>>16417378
there was a time
long before time
where we cared about tempo
and rhythm and rhyme
but that is long passed, they say I should stop
using words that make sounds like "clippity clop"
it sounds too sing-songy
you use common phrases
the whole thing is trite
as it turns as it grazes
the taught point of view
that I learned from a man
who makes poems about
just as well as I can.
Now listen here, buddy
I'll tell you the truth
there's nothing to find
if you won't be a sleuth
for silence has given me room to take flight
and I bound over hurdles that stifle the light
that flows through the segmented world that we view
and connects little me
directly to you
Don't act like you've studied, I know you have not
and the things that you did were the ones Chaucer brought
or the other old names that we say in our sleep
who apparently give my tone meaning to creep
up the legs of the valid and home of the sworn
and take people's attention from facebook and porn
and turn it back on them, a look in the mirror
that couldn't be CLEARER (it was coming to that)
So don't even bother if you haven't made it
and just feel ELATED (see previous statement)
I don't need to sit and continue to flow
off this powerful throne that juts out through my woe
If you don't like it, well, I'm sorry to say
that unless you come kill me, I won't go away
And you can ignore every word that I write
but when time's running out you will see I was right
that's two words, similar but different in meaning
I don't mean to bounce like a ball that's careening
from the 5th dimension, directions unknown
like a dog's buried treat in the yard (that's a bone)
so struggle if you must, but I'll tell you what

It's Maybelline.

>>16417422
>for theres nowhere to run
>when running is no more
I would choose one of these; they are basically the same imagery and I feel like it would make the piece more powerful to just have a single position on this.

>and when the sea starves the sun
>and lands ever blooming descend
Gem; the sea's boiling, starving out the sun, the rain falls, the land begins to bloom eternally

>to depths not known to man
>lonely souls wll have bled
>mankinds forever last tears.
I would work these 3 lines. I understand what you're going for, but I also think it's kinda of vague; perhaps instead of pointing back to man you could point toward what new reality will exist then (will there be men? is there a way to know?)

Nice job!

>>16420447
Oh my, what a piece. There is no structure here whatsoever, but the absolute irony makes me wonder whether you're being serious or not.
Keep writing.

Why is that the mind, the engine of knowlege, is also something of which we are profoundly ignorant? The old philosophical trope "know thyself" falls flat with the discovery of the unconscious. The inescapable inability to see from beyond your mind is the ultimate limitation. If we knew half of ourselves so much of why we suffer would be abated. But all the answers are crammed right in the blind spot, which is why we need others and culture to fill us.

>>16423566
>they may just die in the journals
>so i give my ideas to others
>like satan fall from grace i feel like i have been manipulated by reality and its others to extract value out of me.
>I could have shitposted in my journal to keep it private.
>But i shitpost on the forums.
>and because i feel like all my good ideas will go to waste if i don't
>Because i am inspired by op, so i feel deserves my response.

>when i was so preoccupied with friendship and masturbation
>I kept reminding myself that the muse lives a rich life in ideas,
>but maybe that my fault for not building something around my value.
>i want to make my dreams a reality

>where i revieved contentment
>How could I?
>the material world seems more enticing to me than thoughts and dreams
>i now feel contemp and jelousy

>>16436370
I like this, thank you for sharing.

Why
Why god
Why do I lust and obsess over the women of my past?

Why is it that in the mornings I remember the feeling of waking up next to her, of feeling her warm skin next to mine. The feeling of grabbing her closer and holding her as she starts to wake from me doing so, only to fall quickly back asleep again. Those cold mornings, when all I could do was hold her and think about how much I was in love with her.

What I would do to experience that again. Sadly we’ll never speak again. Sometimes I wish I never had these experiences, even if they made me in to the man that I am today. Some mornings it’s just too painful. And the nights, the nights are even worse.

My grandma's birthday is tomorrow and she is still stuck in the Fox News echo chamber. She asked my mom to find her two books. One by Dowdy about communication and persuasion and the other by Candace Owens.

I told my mom jokingly she should get her Manufacturing Consent but I don't think she'd read it. Could you guys suggest something in that vein, though? I unironically think it would be better for her and if she reads it may start her on the road to recovery. She's one Facebook account aaay from being a Qanon supporter.

>>16446495
Is that some faggot book about Marxism? Both you and your grandma are fucking faggots.

>>16446499
I'm not sure what to make of this response.

>>16417378
Duty is as heavy as a burden, death is as light as a feather someone said to me once. It sounded harsh to my ears then but I think whoever's said it was right. I dropped the weight years ago and floated off the ground for awhile, dead. It wasn't until I met her that I decided I wanted to live, and hold that weight again.

I started seeing hate in her eyes for me a few weeks ago. I always knew it would happen. In the end I've always just been an asymptotic line, I can approach the curve but never meet it. So I let go of the weight today. I cant even feel my legs.

>>16446495
qanon is cute, whatever it really is/isn't it is mostly boomer grandmas finding an outlet for their honest patriotism and suspicion of corrupt politicians

>>16446499
based

>>16446495
Drop Manufacturing Consent and read this instead https://www.unqualified-reservations.org/2008/04/open-letter-to-open-minded-progressives/
As for your grandma just let her be man

>>16446495
I suggest you graduate high school before attempting to choose others' reading material.

>>16446570
he doesn't seem like he was being very arrogant or condescending

>>16446495
>Qanon
I am still in absolute disbelief that this caught on. Qanon is obviously some random larping NEET who took pleasure in convincing idiots on /pol/ that he was some high level government agent.

>>16446657
>Qanon is obviously some random larping NEET Either that or its another collective manifestation of the board culture Anonymous mind-meld, like the original hacker known as 4chan (Anonymous)

my mum is dying in hospital and yet i'm sitting here because the hospital are being strict about seeing her because of this dumb covid meme

Women are too foreign to me.

Extremism is rationally correct, but living virtuously is better for the soul instead.

>>16447028
that's fucking awful anon. I hope she recovers.

>>16417378
someone please talk to me

At work today I got really high, read some Pynchon, watched a couple lectures on literary theory, and made a couple effortposts on /lit/. The wildfire smoke has cleared out, it's raining, and I get to go do my morning commute back home through a gorgeous mountain range here in a minute. When I get home, my cat will come trudging round the corner with her eyes still half closed and I'll lay on the floor with her for a while. Sometimes I end up taking a nap, even. I'm a little tired this morning so I might do that. I feel toasty and comfy, and I haven't spoken directly to a human being in just under a week. I'm a little bummed I didn't get any work in on my projects today, but I was still actively using my brain all night, to I'll chalk that up as a win. I hope you're doing alright too, anon.

Going to mow my lawn early in the morning to piss of the neighbors as a passive aggressive means to annoy them in revenge for their party last night.

So far as I can tell there are two possibilities: Either God exists or He does not.

>God exists
This means there is a heaven and a hell. Choosing to create a life is choosing to bring another soul (without their consent) into the game of either going to heaven (eternal pleasure) or going to hell (eternal torment). Instead of allowing that soul to remain in non-existence, you are forcing it into a game with the highest stakes imaginable. To illustrate this (like a retard) consider the following scenario:
>There is a magical crosswalk where, should you successfully cross to the other side, you will be given $1,000,000,000. However, there is an UNKNOWN chance that a car will come whipping by and hit you causing you to die in the most painful way possible. Would you consider it to be moral to FORCE someone else (without their consent) to cross this magical sidewalk instead of allowing them to remain on one side (where they won't ever get the money but they also won't be hit by the car)? This is my (retarded) metaphor for creating life. Is it moral to "bring someone off the bench" (the bench of non-existence) into the game of going to hell or going to heaven?

(1/2)

>>16448328
>God does not exist
Should you choose to bring life into the world in this scenario, you would be doing so for wholly selfish reasons. This life is full of torment and suffering (or at the very least monotony) for the vast majority of human beings, yet you must knowingly ignore this reality if you choose to have children. To illustrate this, consider the following:
>In this arena of a Godless existence animals must consume to survive. Just as the zebra consumes grass the lion consumes zebras. The suffering experienced by the zebra as it is viciously eaten alive is far more severe than the enjoyment experienced by the lion eating his most recent meal. You might think "well humans are like lions, so this isn't so bad" but you should consider the nature of the lion's consumption. Eating zebras is just the lion's way of avoiding the pain of starvation. Assuming it doesn't die in through some terrible disease or accident (which it very well could), the lion will spend its entire existence running away from the pain of death and starvation until it can't run anymore. Its Godless existence can be summed up to a frantic flight away from suffering that it can NEVER avoid. It's reason for existing? Father and mother lion just kinda felt like it. (Retard zebra-lion analogy inspired by Ligotti).
As God does not exist and you are able to function beyond your animalistic drive to breed (to some degree), you are creating a vessel to be filled with all the pain and torment of this world "because you feel like it". Is this not morally reprehensible?

I know nothing about this topic and all of this is spitballing. Input and reading suggestions appreciated.

(2/2)

A girl I dated is in the same social circles as me, it went sour because she betrayed my trust. It feels surreal being around her with everyone else. I no longer feel anything, she is a nervous wreck, and everyone else knows about it yet are too tactful to comment except behind my back. If I wasn’t socially apathetic I would probably know what to do about it

>>16448425
Stop hanging out with you ex girlfriend and stop hanging out with people who snigger about your romantic failures “behind your back”.

>>16448471
I’m a college boy, it’s unavoidable. I am a lone autist in a building full of people, what can you do

>>16448522
It's not unavoidable. Just stop hanging out with them. It is literally a superpower to know when and why you need to axe people from your life. Nothing good can come from either a) unstable ex girlfriends or b) friends who can't say things directly to you.

>>16448425
If you're actually over it and not just lying to yourself (not an accusation, only you can know this) just roll with it. Revel in it, if that's your dig. You could be the guy in on your own private secret, watching everyone else muddling around it. For what it's worth, if it's unavoidable to be around her without making huge concessions, you're doing just fine. People suck, let them. Doesn't mean you have to, and from how it sounds, you don't. So keep not sucking.

It's exhausting to read authors that sound to me like they talk a lot, but say very little

I didn't fap today :)

had a shit week. trying to be productive but keep edging for 4 hours everyday to cosplay porn or hentai vns.
one of my online friends part of a small friend group of 8 guys, we used our own forum for 2 years just committed suicide.

I just don't think I want to marry a crazy japanese woman. If she had asked long ago I bet I would have. she wants to talk over some kind of facetime service. I am unsure if I should agree, since I know she is beautiful, and I am very weak for her beauty. We met a long time ago and I fell madly in love with her. She was with my friend then. It seems I made an impression on her too. I am not some casanova, but we shared many things. it sounds corny but we love a similar kind of beauty. she could make my life more beautiful. But she's hospitalized-grade crazy, and I am too. How can two crazies have kids? Foolish, foolish. May God guide me to a wise decision.

when i was a teenager the subjects of my sexual fantasies were mostly adults, now i am an adult the subjects of my sexual fantasies are mostly teenagers

>>16450060
>May God guide me to a wise decision
Nigga don't do it

>>16433554
i respect you for not starting a new thread

>>16449079
good boy ^^

I've found myself deliberately avoiding going outside the past few weeks, at least during "prime" hours. I simply hate seeing happy couples, groups of friends out around town, it only reminds me how lonely I am. When I stay inside, shut the blinds, I can escape it. I don't need to see them, or hear them. I don't need to be reminded.

>>16450147
why not get some friends and a gf like everyone else?

Im afraid of having herpes. I took a test yesterday and I'm waiting for the results. I'm afraid of passing it on to other people. Who did I get it from? I took a full panel test for STDs and they call came out negative. I've only kissed my girlfriend since then. And I have complete trust in her. I'm worried that I have chapped lips and me focusing on it is making me over think it into herpes. I've never had a cold sore. So I have nothing to compare to but photos on the internet. I almost wish I'd never had sex at this point.

What a fucking bitch.

Just so you know, I won't settle for anything less than the truth coming diractly from you. And don't you ever again compare me to other men.

Anyone got the kid /lit/ chart?
Think it may have been one or two. Need some books for the nephews and forgot to save it.

Anons,
I have a lot of reading to do these days. I'm really knee-deep in university education. I hate it so much and yet I have to do it. I've made a promise to myself that I'll keep a high GPA, but I'm really buried in readings right now. I've got three books to read this week, one due on Thursday and two due on saturday. Does anybody have any advice on how to stay focused for extremely long periods of time while simultaneously absorbing a great deal of knowledge? One class is history and the other one is management. I'm capable of sitting down for hours to read, it's just about retaining enough to not fail. Any tips on organization in general would be greatly appreciated.

>>16451661
Get plenty of rest, take breaks when you can, remember to eat and drink, and don't give up! You will make it through, but if you give up you'll regret it. Also, next semester limit how many reading classes you have; you can save yourself this sort of pain with more clever scheduling.

>>16451678
Thank you for your words of encouragement anon. Mashallah, we will all make it.

>>16451661
Cut back your internet usage, it's destroying your attention span and subsequently your ability to retain the information you're reading.

>>16417378
>smooth grey folds
>very little movement

Just fucking stop trying to bait me you bpd bitch its fucking annoying you fucking coward fuck off already

Any Catholics should see this shit. Released in America as "Corpus Christi". It's on Criterion Channel at the moment. Everyone should check it out just cuz it's good, but Catholics most definitely should peep it.

I took MDMA for the first time in a long while. The interesting thing is I didn't feel quote unquote high. I just felt how I thought a healthy, sociable, happy person should feel: like a kid in a candy store. I imagine a well adjusted, integrated person just feels like they are rolling all the time. It goes to show that underneath it all these microscopic chemicals rule our lives.

>>16453194
That's also how you feel after you get laid. For two or three days, you're walking around like "wow, so this is how people without autism feel every day!"

I find myself staring out the window a lot lately

Passive aggression is a far worse offense than overt violence

>>16453451
How so?

>>16453451
That's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard
>did you realize that this mildly bad thing is actually worse than this really bad thing? haha, I am so witty! Let me write a long pseudo-Nietzschian internet post to poorly justify myself!

>>16453348
Idk, I've personally had quite a bit of sex. It doesn't really motivate me anymore except on occasion, which I believe is healthy. I know what you mean about that post-coital afterglow, although many people report feeling depressed after sex because it wasn't as fulfilling as they thought. I've also heard that people can "smell it on you" when you've been fucking, in the sense that they can recognize your desirability. On MDMA, or when being a happy youth which is what this substance replicates, You feel good just for existing, there are no terms to it. Which explains why it is so dangerous.

>>16453544
But he's right you fucking retarded faggot. If you want to start shit, don't be a fucking effete about it. Actually threaten violence like a fucking man would

>>16453544
Why become so upset? Perhaps I hit the nail on the head. Cowardice is the root of all evil

I might just join China. If America doesn't get its shit together I might do that. I'm sure China would welcome my intel. It's like the Soviet Union verses the USA 2, Or Rocky 2 except instead of titanic Dolph Lundgren who is all force it's a quick witted Chinese man who knows shaolin kungfu. Rocky at this point is a total asshole, completely self-absorbed, one hit away from a knock-out. Russia is sitting in the background cheering China on.
Except this time Rocky doesn't have to keep fighting, he has to recognize the wisdom of his principles and understand what he is doing is stupid. This entire antagonistic paradigm should be seen through, and the nations of the world have to believe in humanity itself if we are to survive.

>>16447997
hello chum, i hope you're doing okay

>>16447028
i'm really sorry, anon. i hope it's cool if i pray for you and your mum. stay strong, do it for her. cherish every moment and do what you can to get past those morons.

A count to three with the index, middle, then thumb. Two swings of a closed fist followed by a third swing of an open hand. Or perhaps it was two swings open and the third closed? At any rate, I never told anyone what happened to me. I didn't say anything because I never found myself particularly alarmed, nor did I find the event at all strange. Not that this happens regularly. In fact, this only happened once in my entire life. I'd venture to say that this was the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me. I was about 11 years old, although I say this with precaution. I could have been anywhere between the ages of 8 and 13. As I pointed out earlier, this event seemed so insignificant to me that my mind must have felt no need to attach the date or any other happenings of that day to this event.

Now, back to this peculiar dance, that peculiar day, a peculiar event, only peculiar to me now many years later.

I was sitting cross-legged on my bed. The blackness of night well underway. Perhaps I wanted to sleep a little earlier than my brother because I don't remember him being there with me.

One. Two. Three.

In an instant, the dark room was flush with the light of midday. I was sitting in the exact same position, completely unchanged from— the night before? The night after?

That night, that almost perfectly unremarkable night, I leapt through time.

Again, these events were so long ago and felt so insignificant, that the linear narrative of events of an also insignificant past were long clouded by the necrosing action of time on human memory. Clearly this is some confluence of flight of typical pre-pubescent imagining and a hazy, imperfect recollection by a typical, jaded adult. To my skeptical readers, your response is not lacking reason. Now, to what reasonable, mature adult would a fantasy about a boy who could time-travel be of any interest? I would think not many of you. Even if it were, surely this archetype has been perfected by many writers more talented than myself.

Now this is where I, the writer, am currently indecisive. Surely I can at least entertain myself with a bombastic adventure about a meek boy who, through this mysterious power bestowed upon him, saves the world from an impending disaster, but also I could share with you the ongoing debate in my head about the heroic potential of this "power". On that night, if I traveled back in time to a previous day, would it not be the case, as typical of this sort of story, that the most insignificant actions could reverberate into dire, unexpected consequences? The Butterfly Effect, right? How could I possibly correct something in the past without these consequences? Alternatively, what if I went forward in time that night? What good is it to accelerate even faster? I would presume a statistical majority of humanity would use the word "fleeting" to describe life. I cannot, for the life of me, come up any productive uses for the power to travel forward in time.

>>16417378
>Hurricane force winds warning
I fucking hope it keeps the planes grounded for a long time

In his fury, every muscle in his body—the biceps, and the triceps; the long of the backs of his thighs, as well as the short of their fronts; all of those which move thus, concurrently with all of those which move opposite—strains against the creaking scaffolds they enfold.

His rage is greater than his body. At once he collapses like an ancient wall instantaneously turned to rubble. What was once a beautiful man, bountiful well of wisdom one wants to drink of for all of time, sags on the floor like a worn bean bag.

Arms and legs sprawl about crumpled like the limbs of a crushed insect, splintering ribcage flays the meat and flesh of the chest to bear proof the thews clutched the man's pitiful body only tighter even after it broke; he was impaled on himself. Skull cratered at the face, where focused was all its devastating payload. Mastication and thought litter the lonesome room's already filthy carpet.

>have a Bumble account
>am white
>keep getting faved by black women

>>16446354
nice, Anon. Made me smile.

I have nothing to look forward to and yet I go forward full speed, by instinct. I don't know where I'm going to land.

>>16454374
I did this for a bit but now that I have a stable life I want to leave again

What do I need to read before Proust?

I hate my life.

>>16454615
same

Something about people observing me, even if not consciously deeply annoys me.

misery

>>16454615
same

>>16454945
This depends on why they are observing, or what they are observing; what they are observing depends solely on what you think it is they are observing

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhLxpk22wGA

Join us for mass!

taking a break from writing a paper for university. I think it's going ok, but it's a bit hard to integrate the sources like they want us too. the idea is to come with an idea for a reseach design based on a couple of theoretical perspectives. If they want me to source what kind of quantitative/qualitative results different perspectives typically aim for, that will be difficult. but this is not my problem now, I am on break.

today was the first day in a long time that I actually cooked good food. a kind of mackerell marinara. fucking delicious.

a lot of the "literate"/interested in philosophy people that i meet are just STEMlords who are insecure about being called a brain dead incel

>>16455593
Typically it is annoying like this when I go to an otherwise relatively empty area (empty of people), or I'm am walking along one. In which case what they are observing (what I think they're observing) is my movement, body gestures and facial expression.

>>16437046
You accidentally redpilled me a little. Are women responsible for shame?

>>16437046
And to think that there are w*men on my board. Ew, indeed.

Prison is probably a better place to live than college

>>16456074
Haven't you read the bible? It's all in there.

Not sure if reading about madness is giving me the language to express what Im feeling or giving me new equipment to dig an even bigger hole with.

I dont want to go to work tomorrow.

One month into the semester and I've spent about 40 minutes revising.

I have acted as fairly as I understand how to. Not very elegantly, not with great sensitivity. It was one of a handful of bad choices. Of course there has been a selfishness, but really that is what I have been trying to mitigate. My reasoning is from another time and place, I'm a larper. It might have made me blind to you and what you want, but really I can't be any use to you unless we do things exactly this way.

I do want to be of use to you. I want to talk to you. I think so, anyway. No, maybe that's not so much it. Mostly I want to be there for you if you need me. Maybe I am uniquely situated for this, and if I am then I have a kind of duty, I think. But I can only fulfill that duty on some specific terms. Man what if I don't even want to talk to you, what am I doing then? Maybe this is all fate, that I have become strange in order to drive you away.

ccccchgggggchchchccchchheegasghhhhhhh chhchchchchc gggggggggggggg beep beep beep beep beep chhchhhhhchhhchhchggggg drrr dr dr drrr drr beep beep AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH boom

I'm only fifteen years old but I feel like my life is already over.

>>16458679
it's just impossible to tell if I should want you or not. the beauty I see in your person is staggering, but... caught between one insanity and another. not long ago I would have wanted nothing more- absolutely nothing. But friends warn, and life rolls on. I have told you everything, absolutely everything. I have admitted to things. Only now do I realize that you wanted the same thing as I did. You did not seek me out for friendship.

I live at your mercy. Branches grow, fruit borne. Facing mirrors, unending fire which consumes flesh and stone. Both choices sublime and horrifying. For you it is simpler. I have bound myself, but you are free. I have my freedom in my bondage, you your bondage in your freedom. You walk as you please. I measure my step. But so do I measure it as to make me infinitely weary, even though you stand now in front of me, ready, as I have dreamed, as once I would have given... I would have given anything for. I would have given too much. That is the next horror: that I would take for myself a god. I have before.

I don't know if you can understand. I don't understand, but I still know. There is a promise there that I trust, but in reality it also rings true. This stands against the blissful moment of meeting you again. What could be our joy? Would we laugh together? I think so. Cry? I don't know you well enough. I think so. This is the next horror: friends warn, maybe you are broken. Maybe our brokenness doesn't match: me being submissive, you breathing fire: I could let us live in dysfunction for a long time. Maybe all it is is you running out of time, and me being almost interesting enough, good for a shot in the dark. Maybe I'm the last ditch effort. Maybe we would laugh together. I think we would. That makes it harder.

>>16459076
pinch yourself real hard

it's happening again, it's happening again

I’m slow to learn, the parts of me that learn will learn long after any others don’t, but I need not be left behind. The world always has a time limit, as much as it can push me I must not become swept up and unable to get back up. And I need the ability to catch up, and to not run out of time to attain this.

Trying to learn to enjoy life more without money and carnal pleasures. I've tried to get more out of my creative pursuits, but it only leads to them getting easier, not exactly more fun. I would like to write material that I'd re-read but it's tough because there's not much that really resonates with me on a personal level that I can talk about for an entire novel.
I also like drawing and illustrating, but the time it takes me to finish something really eats at my writing time, and ultimately, I have few friends with the same interests as me to appreciate what I draw.
I hate trying to appeal to the lowest common denominator.

>>16448425
Welcome to being young, just roll with the punches

late thread synthwave update
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lA8C3Xxvo4g
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_xi621GmHs

recent interesting threads that died too soon
>>/lit/thread/S16420373
>>/lit/thread/S16454257

I’m sometimes amazed to see how poorly the average /lit/izen writes. You guys talk so much shit, yet you can’t back it up to save your lives.

>>16460385
>You guys talk so much shit, yet you can’t back it up to save your lives.
That's exactly what you're doing you little son of a fucking bitch. Faggots like you always talk shit but never dare to post your own writing

XRA but unironically

>>16460583
Dead thread, but I’ll respond anyway. I’m a published author. I don’t need to post mine on here. I want you faggots to succeed all the same.

>>16461251
Excuses. If you were a top notch writer you would flex at almost every opportunity, doesn't matter who sees it or if it's in vain.

>>16417378
>>16417378
i'm moving out and love my parents so much that i have crippling anxiety about being away from them

>>16417378
During a fit of extreme depression after the hangover that followed consuming a whole bottle of rum, I remembered the girl that I have been in love with and have obsessed over for the past 10 years.

Remembering my fondness for her awoke something inside of me that I thought was dead, and I’m now trying to make sense of it.

>>16460385
>>16460926
What's wrong with OP? I liked it, but I want to hear your opinion

>>16434088
Literature.

do normal people "hang out" with friends every single day and what does hanging out entail?

>>16440883
>He was often a bewildering man, but you've turned him into Micky Mouse. You want me to be Micky Mouse too.
This is how I often feel at Bible study

>>16461555
no, not every day. i hang out with any of my friends probably 4 to 5 times a week. i was just with a close friend of my for a few hours, we just talked about our feelings towards our current situations, joked around a lot, got some food, watched a movie and split. usually how it goes, varying degrees of comfort will allow varying degrees of depth in conversation (whether it be emotionally or topically). you just exist together for a few hours

>>16461555
From what I saw my brother do, he doesn't hang out with his friends every day, and sometimes he goes out with different friends. Usually they go to a cafe and then talk about various themes, none of which are literature. From time to time he does with them stuff like airsoft battles or fishing.
And not one of them reads books!

I went skeet shooting today with my father and my brother-in-law and some friends, and I'm astounded at how well I did. I've never been a good shot to begin with, and I haven't been shooting in more than a year, but not only did I not embarrass myself, I shot better than I ever have.

In general, I feel somehow that I have, amazingly, become better at so many things. I feel smarter, somehow, than I was even a year ago. I feel better at writing, and at reading, and I feel like I've become a better poet, and a better thinker and analyst.

None of this makes any sense. I'm in my 30s, I shouldn't still be developing. But if I compare myself now to the way I was in my late 20s, for some reason, I feel somehow that I am both healthier and more effective and intelligent than I was back then, or than I have ever been before.

>>16446535
I, too, have read the Wheel of Time series.

>>16449079
Lucky nice job

>>16459076
I can barely comprehend how a 15 year old can feel this way. Is it about increasingly ubiquitous internet use? When did you get your first smartphone? I remember when I was in middle school and I saw my first surprise gore on reddit.
Do you use social media a lot? Do you interact "normally" and with appropriate frequency with an average number of people by your generation's standards?
Get off the internet.
Get off 4chan.
Go outside and get into acceptable forms of trouble for the three years you still can.
Don't be anxious about college. It's MORE than okay to attend a bit later, desu I think age 25 should really be University age.
Get a job, save at least 20% of yoyr money that you're not allowed to spend. This isn't saving for a car, take those kinds savings out of the remaining 80%.
Do you live with your parents? Go outside and do the things that scare you, even and ESPECIALLY if they are activities in the social sphere. Openly hit on women, but only if you think they're attractive, let them know how sexy they are. Find friend (s) to smoke weed with. Walk and ride your bike around miles from your home. Learn more and more slang, and integrate it naturally into your own personal dialect. Ask girls out, and try to kiss them. Start carrying about fashion and what people think and get invited to some parties.
Or if you're already a party animal, find a sweet girlfriend who you can really care about.
You don't have to be 18 to buy condoms.

>>16461597
what a strange creature

There it is, the old toothache. If by any chance I could meet my younger, depressed self, I'd deck that son of a bitch for not brushing correctly and ruining my weekend. Why would you do that? Allowing decay and corruption inside your body and mind like Jehovah's witnesses with insidious intent. Candy peddlers the lot of them.

>>16434634
>women are inherently broken thus men are to blame

Makes sense, Kind of like why it's hard to blame children.

>>16437046
>The woman is expressing her primeval feminine instinct to destroy behavior she dislikes by shaming it socially so that the tribe will reject it.

I'm beginning to see this phenomena in this generation of men, Maybe it's the decrease in testosterone or something

>>16422101
That's absolute false

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-EUCWXbZZEI
You just can’t escape jezebels on the internet can you

deeply blackpilled
Is there anything that can refute Schopenhauer's pessimism?

Everything just keeps getting worse.

>>16461728
thanks reddit

>>16462209
Anytime

>>16461590
Based and normalpilled

Chimp in state of nature never jerks off, but in captivity he does, wat does this mean?

>>16462380
Sometimes even chimp must return to MONKE

Ever have a day where depression nukes you out of the blue?

Had a nice weekend with my gf, then last night I had dreams which seemed to dredge up a lot of bad feeling, I've been really depressed all day, thinking back over past failures, very cloudy mind, no hope for the future and just wallowing in what a failure I've turned out to be.

Why does this happen? What caused my head to sabotage me out of the blue?

>>16462380
One of the possible symptoms of depression is heightened desire for sex, and since being in captivity implies lack of females, I guess it goes for the next best thing.

>>16462567
you remembered that you’re domesticated and your instincts kicked in
this is why my favorite activity is sleeping

Test

Tic toc.
A mechanical watch is the best purchase I made this year. A mechanical watch is something you have to take care of.
Everyday, I have to wind the mainspring. And every once in a while, I forget it and have to set the clock back to the correct time. I have come to realise that I care for my watch almost as much as I care for my pet. It is true what they say, when you have to take care of something, it makes you care about it.

Time is an important facet of life, and I am glad that I spend so much time caring about time, because time deserves some of my time. After all, all the time I have is merely a gift from time, can I not give a little back?

My watch is like a pet, yes. I care for it, and it cares for me.
My watch never stops ticking in an audible way, it's so rythmic, so soothing. Sometimes, when I am overwhelmed, I take my wrist up to my ear, and I let the watch chant for me. My heartbeat follows the rythm of the spinning gears, man and machine united in a glorious metallic symphony.

She is my sidekick, I take her everywhere, and everywhere, she sings for me. With my watch, I am never truly alone.

This may sound like the tales of an autistic kid, but I can assure you that I'm perfectly healthy, the family doctor has been very clear on this matter.

>>16434634
Based, but difficult to do

>>16462041
Yeah, try not being a self-pitying faggot for one minute.

>>16463101
mitleid contra pity, vieh

>>16460364
That book interests me a great deal. Do you have it in pdf?

>>16458824
Are you ok?

We are our correlations to the world. As much as an island wouldn't be an island without the water surrounding it, we wouldn't be ourselves without the people, things and events surrounding us. So to 'Know thself' means to examine the way how you experience, value and perceive the world and not trying to explore a personal entity beyond this world. Such a thing doesn't exist. You are nothing but a correlation to the world. The real 'I' is a process of different world correlations (meeting people, eating, sleeping, working, reading etc.) that we experience, value and structure. At best one could say that the identity behind this is a formal, unpersonal energy that allows us to male sense of different world correlations.