/lit/ - Literature

>>16338538
>>16338538
NO
THIS
IS
PATRICK

This is the only response your awful thread deserves.

>>16338538
take off my belt

>>16338555
NO
THIS
IS
PATRICK1

This is the only response your awful thread deserves.2

>DFW fanboys on suicide watch3

1. Reference to scientific name Asteroidea, a character on the children's animated television show Spongebob Squarepants
2. Anon wrote this drooling over his laptop, the cum stained cover of infinite jest to his side as the blue light of the computer illuminated the basement.
3. Died: 12 September 2008 (suicide)

>>16338538
It's "what the hell is water", retard.

>>16338538
I wait until he kills himself, attend his funeral, cum on his casket, and say "this is water too"

Ask him why he's pontificating

>>16338586

>>16338595
oh no... OH NO... how embarrassing... for you, that is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8CrOL-ydFMI

>>16338538
I tell him that "this is solid"

>>16338538
i tell my gf,
>wardine be cool

I fucking love his [1] footnotes. [2]

1. David Foster Wallace, Author.
2. In actuality, DFW made use mostly of endnotes [i] as opposed to footnotes [ii], though the semantic differences seem obvious.

i. End notes occur at the end of a given work.
ii. Footnotes [a] occur at the bottom of a page.

a. It's interesting to point out that footnotes themselves are at the foot of the page, likely because it would be a mouthful to say "bottom of the page notes," and embarrassing to say "bottom notes."

>>16338586
kek1 underrated

1. presumably a solecism of a solecism of the cock, i.e. orcish vernacular.

>>16338924
>If anyone feels like perspiring, then go ahead, because I'm sure going to

Why was he so obsessed with sweat?

>>16339246
someone post the image where he talks about becoming a girl's sweat rag

>>16339246
He stands at the lectern, in front of the hundreds of expecting faces of students and family. They are here to celebrate themselves, but to hear him speak. What he says will be permanently embedded in their souls as they go on in life.

The pressure is real. He can feel his brow begin to dampen. Why wouldn't they let him wear his bandanna today? Don't they know what will happen?

>Morning Boys, how's the water?

Oh god, they don't get the joke. The dampness on his forehead turns to a few beads of sweat. They can see through him. He is a joke to them, and a bad one at that. They'll always remember him as a pseud.

>What the hell is water?

THE CROWD LAUGHS! So much relief. The beads of sweat on his forehead stop, he wipes them away.

Still damp, but maybe he can get through it. It's going to be OK.

>Learning how to think really means learning how to exercise some control over what and how you think.

He's losing them again. They're chatting with eachother. He's flailing. Oh shit. The sweat is back - it's more than just a few drops, it's starting to turn into a sheet. This is awful. He has to get some interest again or he'll die. The sweat is pooling at the corner of his mouth. He can taste the salt. It drips down onto the floor.

>The parents and older folks in the room will know all to well what I'm talking about

The adults chuckle! He hasn't lost them! Oh thank god. He licks the corner of his mouth. Streams of sweat, but it's slowing. It's OK. He can just go on.

>This is an example of how not to think

Fuck! They've all got it wrong. He has failed. He tried to cut shit out, but it wasn't enough, he's lost them. The sweat from his head won't stop, and now his armpits are perspiring too. The puddle at his feet is growing. The sweat is flowing. The water is starting to cascade from his forehead and his armpits down to the stage and into the crowd

>This is water

It's up to their knees down. These graduates aren't going to make it. They are going to drown in his sweat. Their own tears start to mix with the ocean of sweat they are surrounded by. And still he needs to get his last sentence out, even as the tears and sweat go up to their heads, and their imminent deaths by drowning is unavoidable.

>This... is water

The room has filled with his perspiration. It is over. The entire three-county region surrounding Kenyon College is covered with water. The region is renamed "Lake Wallace" in his memory.

>>16339322
chcked

I love footnotes holy shit

>>16338538
Withdraw his antidepressant supply

>>16339322
Good stuff anon

a simple watch it, buster.' would be sufficient

>>16339970
That is an interesting webm.

>>16339322
This deserves a (you)

>>16338538
I'd tell him to slap my ass next

>>16338538
Spit and ride on towards the endless sands and the nameless clouds that drift on to papery skies and the thirsty plains and the evening redness in the west.

pontificate

>>16339970
b A s e d

>>16338538
thank him for the compliment.

>>16338538
>both dfw and my girl are alive again
>he has even predicted my crying

>>16341845
I'm sorry for your loss anon.

>>16338538
Be a bit jealous that he didn't slap mine.

>>16338538
What a borgeois cope.

He gets to eat pickles while in the neoliberal garden, but not soon.

>>16339970
Wow bro I've never seen a woman act silly before or attempt to be sexy jokingly. Wow man it's so sincere wow man it's like I need motherly comfort and trust and have to resort to an childish insincere sincerity.

>>16339322

>>16342260
HEEEEHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>16341389
>I'll show the yankee I know big words

>>16339007
underrated

>>16339246
yeah the lyle stuff was fine but orin and M.P lick eachother's sweat now he's just projecting a fetish

>>16339970
now this is authenticity. i had a gf send me retarded videos like this once, almost identical, but i called too many people retarded on the internet and it got to her. she said to stay off 4chan, last words she ever said to me

>>16339246
so he can rationalize his super cool af bandana, anon

>>16339007
Very Cool[1]
1. Sic

>ywn have as much fun by yourself doing nothing as megan boyle does

>>/lit/thread/S12183207#p12186499

Get out of my dreams David

>>16342920
Hey, you are already 4chan poster. Do not despair.

Just wanted to say fuck jannies and fuck the mods

>>16338538
he's 70% right

>>16338538
Dig him up, sap his, drop him in the nearest ocean. "This is water"

>>16345218
*slap

>>16343904
I assume[1] that you want something like this, OP[2], with the footnotes[3], but in DFW's[4] style[5]. Sorry your thread's been derailed[6] into about how Jews are ruining DFW's[4] legacy[7] but in post-2016[8] 4chan, every board is /pol/[9] and /r9k/[10].

1. Which as we all know, makes an ass of you and me*
*A common adage used to discourage jumping to conclusions. 'assume' can be decomposed into 'ass', 'u' and 'me'.
2. Original poster, referring to the person who begins a thread on 4chan*
*Popular imageboard
3. Reference to the large amount of 'footnotes' in David Foster Wallace's 1996 novel Infinite Jest, however this is actually a misnomer, as they are at the end of the book rather than the bottom of the page and are therefore endnotes. However, say footnotes on /lit/* and everyone knows which book you're talking about**
*literature board
**Infinite Jest
4. David Foster Wallace
5. A style regularly compared to postmodernist author Thomas Pynchon
6. Meaning to have its topic changed significantly from what was intended
7. Details about Wallace have surfaced in more recent years
8. Specifically, post-2016 election, in which 4chan saw large increases in popularity as it became associated with Donald Trump and the alt right.
9. The 'politically incorrect' board, the centre of the discourse that many perceive to be racist and sexist for which 4chan is known in the public consciousness
10. The ROBOT9000 board, a board in which every post can only be posted once, encouraging original discussion*. It is predominantly based on discussion of failure with women, often blamed on 'Chads'** and 'normalfags'***, although it must be noted that many 'normalfags' are regular users of the board****
*Although in practice people just add 'original' or 'oregano'+ to the end of their posts to force originality
+Herb chosen due to its similar spelling to 'original', which is what they are trying to make their post
**Sexually desirable and successful men, named after the stereotypical name for a high school jock. A Brad is similar but not identical
***Referring to normal people using the common suffix used on 4chan '-fag', eg. 'newfag', 'oldfag', 'samefag', 'tripfag' although it must be noted that this suffix is not inherently insulting, as seen in 'drawfag', a term of endearment and respect. 'Normie' is a similar term but is associated with Reddit+, so 'normalfag' is preferred
+4chan has historically disliked Reddit, to the point where it is an adjective used as an insult, e.g. 'Slaughterhouse-Five is too Reddit for me', however like all insults on 4chan which originally have a concrete meaning^ it has become meaningless
^Other examples include soi# and normalfag
#Referring to the bean alleged to reduce testosterone in males, intentionally misspelt to evade the word filter, which would change it to onions, which was put into place as a result of overuse of the word in 2018
****/r9k/ users are aware of this and regularly lament it

>>16345294
Too tryhard

Watch it pal, I'm the Ironygger,

>>16338538
"No one has ever actually read Infinite Jest."

>>16347118
i have

>>16347118
I have, but I didn't finish it.

>>16339322
Seriously, what the fuck was his problem

>>16347632
He was super self conscious but everyone around him told him he was good at things and smart.