/lit/ - Literature

I worked at a library and I got so tired of finding condoms or people having sex in the stacks that I yelled NO FUCKING IN THE LIBRARY at a couple making out but I forgot one of the study areas was just nearby so 300 people heard it

>>16303681

What do you have against people having sex?

>>16303727
Nothing but there's a time and a place for everything. You don't see me taking your mother to the library every night do you?

>>16303681
That’s pretty based, anon, thanks for making the effort to keep the libraries as a safe place for us incels

>>16303681
Wait this is a real thing? How the fuck does one have sex in the library without someone at least seeing you?

>>16303662
Posting on /lit/ is definitely the most embarrassing thing I've done

I'm considering reading classic book summaries to appear more well read.

>>16303662
>Tarkovsky wanted money, he wouldn't give the interview for free, he wanted 800 Swiss francs. I didn't have the money so a friend helped me out. I flew to London and arrived behind schedule at one of these terraced houses in the suburbs of London.
>A man of short stature opened the door, very unfriendly and covered in a blanket, telling me he didn't expect me and wasn't interested in talking to me. So I took the money and put it on a table. He became very irritated, telling me he didn't want anything to do with journalists and that journalism itself would soon be a publicly loathed profession.
>He then asked me why I didn't stay at home by my husband's side, as it would befit any decent woman. I attacked him and said: "In your films the woman has no momentum, being just a satellite of the man. She has no right to exist for herself as a human being, but merely by virtue of her love for the man." Then Tarkovsky started exclaiming his radical, patriarchal ideas, telling me that a woman has no personal inner world and shouldn't have one either, and that her inner state of being should dissolve entirely in that of a man.

>>16303985

based

>>16303835
quietly/at night

>>16303985
>journalism itself would soon be a publicly loathed profession
He was right. Even my normie friends think journalists are jokes

>>16303662
Referred to Infinite Jest as “IJ” in a conversation. Cranked my pretentious meter to 11 on accident.

>>16303985
umm, hello based department?

>>16304329
But I mean anyone walking down an isle would see someone having sex straightaway right?

Bump

>>16303662
I did a vocaroo recital of someone's postmodern gibberish "poem" just now

blatantly mispronounced hyacinths as "hykaniths" after getting roped into an impromptu groupread of The Wasteland

i'd never even thought about the word before

I read the Prince not once, but fifty times.

>>16303662
Mispronouncing everything all the time
Posting on lit

>>16303963

>>16305386
What about anti-Machiavelli?

>>16303662
Trashed an author I hadn't read before someone who had read him very extensively, and got my ass handed to me.

>>16303662
sometimes i go to the library and take a random book with me to the toilets without checking it out
I masturbate into it and then close it, making sure no residue gets out
then i put it back and leave
ive done it about 20-30 times at this point and im suprised no one has caught me

>>16303662
When I was in an English literature course in college, I brought an old-fashioned dictionary in to sound smart
The fucking tutor made us read out small sections of the books we were reading for each other to analyse as part of a "fun" exercise
I read the dictionary, but I couldn't pronounce any of the words and everyone including the tutor were laughing at me. Until the end of the year they all referred to me as Shakespear. I got a C when I finished the course

>>16303823
Good, keep believing that I don't.

One time I told my friend and his friend that Shakespeare was actually a black guy...
I’m not gonna explain any further because I’m tired but fuck I’m never gonna forgive myself. Fuck.

>>16305872
Underrated if true

>>16303835
>Wait this is a real thing?
Tip of the iceberg

>>16303662
I told someone who read Infinite Jest that I liked DFW, when all I'd read of him was Brief Interviews.

>>16306377
What else do ppl do there, anon?

stole a book, felt guilt like 30 minutes later so i returned it

>>16306554
You are forgiven

>>16306389
>he goes to the library unironically to read

>>16303835
Lots of people have sex in the stacks at Uni

>>16303662
in 7th grade i cornered a girl and recited 'Annabelle Lee' to a girl I had a crush on in hopes she would fall in love with me.
she ended up crying and i got called into the pricipals office and my parents had to come in and make me promise never to talk to her again

>>16303662
>be me
>a 19 year old suicidal faggot
>went to a cool little old books store in the obscure corner of an old market's basement on a bleak autumn friday evening to buy weekend reading material
>me being a neurotic started mumbling my internal monologue while checking out fiction section
>started mumbling "Kafka, Kafka, Kafka" while searching for translated Kafka writings
>suddenly the book store guy asked
>"Kafka On Shore?"
>with full confidence i replied
>"No that is written by Moo-kar-mi(which is a Pakistani name and i said it out loud with full confidence because me being a /lit/ pseud never even bothered to look at spelling with concentration)"
>book store guy gave me one of the most sarcastic look
>when i turned back two posh girls behind me were laughing lightly and staring at me
In that moment I felt like that I am Josef K. For the first time I had experienced what it's like to lose your spaghetti in general public. And Kafka fucking clicked even more.

Life is literally a Kafka novel.

>>16303985
BASED Andrei

>>16306619
The library close to my house looks like a retirement ward

>>16307053
>The library close to my house looks like a retirement ward
better than my library.
it looks and smells like a fucking homeless shelter complete with needles in the bathroom.

>>16307053
Mine looks like a homeless shelter.