/lit/ - Literature

>>16230474
I shat myself in the self help section once.

>>16230474
One time there was this 13-15 year old girl and her friend in the "Modern Literature aisle". She saw a copy of The Great Gatsby and exclaimed to her friend that she loves this book. Then she qualified it by saying she actually hadn't read it but loved the DiCaprio movie version.

>>16230485
Did you feel better?

>>16230474
One time, a guys ran through the store screaming "I'm a ghost! I'm a ghost!" He eventually ran into a wall, highlighting the fact that he wasn't really a ghost.

>>16230518
It was colorful movie.

This onetime I was in a bookstore
and A SKELETON JUMPED OUT!!!

>>16230518
>13-15 year old girl

>>16230474
not a horror story per se but I had a membership to the Barnes and nobles. Wanted to use my laptop in the coffee section and was proposed sex a few times, ignored everyone because fuck you i don't live on this earth for you but the eternal thot was upset that they weren't being fucked and decided that is due vengeance so I was harassed until they decided I had to order a "coffee" or go to the chair right outside the shop. It didn't have a table and they had no customers and I was a member of the library but thots run on sex so do all humans. Don't withhold pedophilia and cuckoldry from them or you'll enjoy your first lynching.

>>16230548
Proposed sex by who? A worker?

>>16230567
customer and a worker

>>16230567
pretty much everyone. It's miserable unless you're with friends

Just every bookstore now. Every one is a horror store. It's just trump is bad and "sh*t" and "f*ck" books. The canon is dead, there's no one to defend it now, and ww3 can't come soon enough

>>16230474
I was visiting NYC and so I went to the Strand.
The philosophy section was downstairs and hey presto, there were two people fucking in the corner

>>16230474
sounds like an esoteric problem tbhwufam

>>16230738
>Didn't join in
Philosophy's not your subject desu

>>16230474
I saw DJ Khaled at a Border’s bookstore in Virginia a few years ago.

It was weird because he wasn’t actually inside, he was on a bench outside eating one of those Libby’s 6 lb aluminum cans of sweet corn with a fork. I asked him what he was doing and he said he was “skoplin this bread” and winked at me with both eyes. idk if skoplin is even a word.

It was a pretty surreal experience, when I came out of the store he had fallen asleep and spilled the can of corn all over himself and was practically being eaten alive by pigeons and seagulls and his shoes were nowhere to be found.

I saw Slavoj Zizek at a Border’s bookstore in Virginia a few years ago.
It was weird because he wasn’t actually inside, he was on a bench outside eating one of those Libby’s 6 lb aluminum cans of sweet corn with a fork. I asked him what he was doing and he said I should "respect his intolerance towards my over-proximity" and winked at me with both eyes. idk if over-proximity is even a word.
It was a pretty surreal experience, when I came out of the store he had fallen asleep and spilled the can of corn all over himself and was practically being eaten alive by pigeons and seagulls and his shoes were nowhere to be found.

>>16230758
Lost

>>16230844
Is this a new copypasta? Because it should be.

>>16230474
one time I wanted to look for 'py' as in 'Pynchon' but there was a girl standing right in front of that shelf wtf women should be banned from bookstores

>>16230542
really? no way

>>16230474
I went to a used book sale at the local university and although I found a lot of neat books there was this one guy that smelled like piss and shit and made the checkout line reek.

>go to bookstore looking for a specific title
>look up the author's name
>he's not on the shelf
>go to the classics and look for him there
>nope
>"Excuse me do you have _____?"
>employee goes to the computer and looks up the author
>then looks up the title
>"Sorry, no, but we can order it for you."
>how does that work?
>the bookstore goes on the internet, orders the book, then you give them your credit card, wait a week for the book to show, then they call your cell phone, you come back to the bookstore, and you buy the book
>OR... I can just go on amazon and have it delivered directly to my house
>tell them no thanks and buy the book online myself
>stop going to bookstores because this happens every fucking time

I saw Dr. Jordan Peterson at a bookstore in Toronto yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for a signature on my copy of Maps of Meaning or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen copies of the Gulag Archipelago towering over his head without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the books and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent the bloody post-modernists from starving 6 million Ukrainians to death,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that makes any sense. After she scanned each book and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by raving on about how he's "the Jungian archetypal prophet, roughly speaking" and how she "needs to do the damn reading and sort herself out"

>>16230474
I was shitting in a small corner bathroom at a Barns and Nobel bookstore. Right after I went in there and got settled somebody popped in to have a piss. This restroom has one shitter stall, and 2 urinals. I waited for the first to leave but just as he was finishing up some other asshole popped in. Then a few seconds later there was a third.
Imagining how empty this place was just seconds before, combined with just how bad I had to shit, I said fuck it and let it rip. It was loud and offensive.

Then something amazing happened. I was washed over with not embarrassment my friends, but instead with an urge to bust out with laughter so badly I had to cover my mouth. Every fucker in there was completely quiet. Most likely exchanging awkward glances. Once back out in the book store I got to walk around anonymously among them. They didn't know who I was. I didn't get to know who they were. Fascinating really.

My world view changed for the better just ever so slightly upon realizing that it was quite an embarrassing moment for 3 out of the 4 souls crammed into this tiny bathroom, but I wasn't one of them. I was the one in charge and everyone in there knew it.

>>16230485
dude, same

>>16231006
How often do you guys shower?

>>16231093
You should write a book about it.9

I was going into a used bookstore. Dog tried biting me, bit bookcase instead. 10/10

>>16230474
I went to a book store once and smelled like stinky bo and went and grabbed the lord of the rings book and just stood there reading it while people could smell me

>>16230518
Are you trying to brag and feel smug about reading a book thats literally assigned to students in middleschool/ highschool? Last question: Are you american?

>>16231268
Your projecting. That anecdote is an example of people acting like pseuds to impress others. The girl claims to have read the book and love it. Then she admits that she never read the book but only watched the movie. This anecdote is similar to the way pseuds like you regurgitate wikipedia articles and things you read on /lit/ without ever opening a book.

>>16230542
skeletons aren't real.

>>16230844
That's pretty cool. I saw David Chalmers, one of the greatest living philosophers give a presentation. I remember awkwardly locking eyes with him to such an extent that he broke eye contact with me. I was pretty spergy back then, and I wanted to ask him some serious questions.

>>16231394
>projecting
What am I projecting exactly and why become so defensive? Sir, you do know just randomly screeching muh projection isn't some sort of insult like faggot, right?
>This anecdote is similar to the way pseuds like you regurgitate wikipedia articles and things you read on /lit/ without ever opening a book
Now you just sound insecure at this point; furthermore, she was, as that poster said, pretty young and with her friend, so I doubt she was trying to impress her. You definitely have some issues it seems.

>>16230518
congratulations you read a 200 page novel

>>16231453
cope harder

>>16231480
Sasuga, the brainlet that feels smug reading his teenager-tier novel says things such as "cope".

>>16231394
Either autistic old fag or pretentious 18 year old trying to impress anons can't tell.

>>16230548
How do I get proposed sex anons? Just show up to Barnes & Noble with a macbook?

>>16230844
holy kek

>>16230519
Felt like shit

>>16230474
saw a cute teenager in the manga section and chapters and indigo and was stalking her a bit, she was looking at the gay mangas and i was going to try and hit on her but she was probably 10 years younger than me

>>16231045
Kind of reminds me of the last time I went to a bookstore

>go to a Coles Bookstore to look for a Christmas gift for my dad
>find it, so go get checked out
>they wanted to know if I wanted to buy some new loyalty card that includes free shipping from their website
>and some overpriced shawl or towel or something
>nope.jpg
>get a kindle and haven't been to the store since

Kind of ruined Coles for me

>>16230474
I was almost caught in a Funko-pop avalanche because some buffoon couldn't keep his balance. Awful creatures, the both of them.

>>16231045
>>OR... I can just go on amazon and have it delivered directly to my house
and have it delivered in like a day or two

>>16231756
Within minutes if you read ebooks

>>16231717
I would have said yes

>>16230758
KEK

>>16230844
actually laughed

>>16233384
>>16233384
>>16233384
>>16233384

GET JUST ABOUT ANY EBOOK YOU WANT HERE FAGGOTS
GET OFF THE CLEARNET
JOIN THE RESISTANCE

>sneak into the book stores restricted section
>pull out 12 rules for life from book shelf
>it triggers a trap door underneath me
>fly down a chute and a flash goes off
>land out in the streets
>book store employee comes out and sells me the picture they snapped of me on the ride out and tells me not to come back

>>16233507
in the future, I'm sure that verboten bookstores will appear, filled with writers like Joseph Conrad and Burroughs and treatises on logic and critical thinking, and they will be honeypots used to identify the crimethinkers and instead of monetarily extorting the customers of Verboten Books with the video footage from the store they make you burn your collection or else they release the video of you fingering a copy of 'the occult roots of nazism' to social media and believe me, you do not want that.

>>16231084
Kek

>buy book with coffee stains rendering certain pages illegible
>go to return it next week
>the store doesn't exist anymore

>>16233729
NOOOOOOO NOT THE HECKIN UNCLE HUGOS IN MINNEAPOLIS NOT THE CLASSIC BOOK STORINO NOOOOOOOO

>>16230844
My sides

>>16231045
This 100 times over
I tried supporting local bookstores but if you don't even have Dosto, Tolstoy, Dante, Homer, etc but carry 100's of copy pasted fantasy and sci-fi crap, then you can fucking die

>>16230474
they all have blm signs on the front. how can you trust. why aren't there any nonextremists who are literate

>>16233768
Shut up nigger lover

>>16230485
Fellow American I see

>>16230862
it's based on an older one

>>16230542
epic fail. Pro tip: nothing happens after you die
>>16233524
who gives a shit? just delete your twitter account

>>16231127
With soap, once a week. Just a cold rinse every other day desu

>>16230474
Yes, here's a real bookstore shocker. The owners make $200k+ a year that they live comfortably on. They don't deserve this so I refuse to shop at them. And the real horror is that this is most bookstores. I refuse to reward midwits who got lucky in life. I don't want their wealth. I want them to be poor like they deserve to be.

>>16230844
I've never laughed this hard.

>>16234899
Definetly not in my country

>>16230474
My dad's a trash hunter and he dragged me to this used book store. I picked up an old looking book and started flipping through the pages. It wasn't anything special. As I was putting it down, I noticed the cover felt a bit strange. When I flipped the book over, I found mold on the back cover of the book.

>>16231717
>she was probably 10 years younger than me
that's only your first problem
>gay
there's your second
>cute
and there's your 3rd and biggest obstacle

>>16235623
That's fucking disgusting

>>16235623
Kek

I worked as a cashier at a bookstore for some time. Not exactly a horror story, but there was an obese cripple who repeatedly attempted to shoplift collections of comics, obviously unsuccessfully, to the point where the police had to become involved.

>cashier tries to start a conversation about the book im buying

>>16230844
this is amazing

>>16235908
You fucking pussy, just smile and nod. Go uh-huh, I haven't read it yet but I heard good things, bye.

>>16235908
>Lovecraft huh? You know what he named his cat right?

>>16236207
>Haha yes, niggerman, very funny name.

>>16230474
One time I went to the bookstore and they didn't have the book I was looking for.

..thinking of it. I should probably order The Travails of Persiles and Sigismunda online.

>>16230474
I moved back to my home city which us nice in a lot of ways, but I no longer have my favourite bookstore and nothing can replace its selection, cheapness, and overall atmosphere of hostile elitism. I miss it so much.

>>16236611
I'm sorry to hear that.

>>16230474
One time I went to a barnes and nobles bookstore with a bunch of friends and while I was there I started having stomach issues.

I went into the bathroom and had diarrhea and explosive erratic shits for 2 hours.

I came out found my friends and they said they'd been looking for me for an hour. I told them i got sucked into a book and lost track of time.

>>16235908
I wish I remembered which book it was, but once the cashier said "that's a good book" and I immediately responded "ha, not really." She didn't reply.

>>16230474
>enter bookstore
>first thing I see are candles, plaques with quotes, decorations for home signs, pillows and that shit.
>Leave

>>16230474
I was once asked out by a girl in a Barnes and Noble. She asked to meet me at a coffee shop the next day, then spent most of that "date" telling me about her unrequited love of another guy, who was actually an acquaintance of mine. She asked me out like two more times and then got the hint when I kept coming up with excuses not to go. Last I heard she was studying classics at Duke and a DJ for one of those student radio station gigs.

>>16231045
this shit happens every time i go to a proper bookstore. the only one i go to is a popular used bookstore. it's nice because i think i'm one of the few people who goes there for decent books, so i usually have a good selection

last month i decided to go to another bookstore that i found on google maps. it was the worst bookstore i've ever been to
>walk in, greeting by yapping dog that the owner has to take outside so i can browse
>completely alone in the place
>shelves go almost to the ceiling but are sparsely populated
>shelves are uncomfortably close together, feel like i'm in some sort of bizarro library
>barely any light, have to use my phone flashlight to read the spines of books
>entire store organized alphabetically, no sections
>books are 75% christian self help books, not exaggerating
>books that have obviously fallen on the floor but have been there so long they've collected dust
>half the store is just encyclopedias and atlases, but it has literally no lighting so i don't bother

>>16230844
Imagined Charlottesville at first but seagulls means the Beach or Norfolk..
Think most everyone has seen that guy!

>>16234473
Because it sells you dumb virgin.

>>16234511
t.

>>16235908
>spend the entire browsing time planning what you will say when this happens
>the cashier barely even mumbles at you as you hurriedly hand over the cash and get out

>>16230844
quality post, also checked

>>16235908
i had a nice talk about nihilism with the cute clerk a couple days ago

>>16230474
>15
>grandma took me to the bookstore because i was into that shit at the time
>wanted to read the classics
>classics were all i knew where to start outside of YA
>get kafka and salinger
>bring it to the cash register
>"heh, getting some school books i see"
fucking faggot

>>16230685
that's why you need to go to used book stores, not ones with shiny bullshit

>>16237903
A lot of used bookstores are now also pushing this garbage in an effort to save their dying industry

>>16230474
My local B&N has the philosophy section right next to the YA Literature (softcore porn) and Manga sections. It's fun for people watching.

>>16237918
I don't see the problem here

>>16230485
Were there any books there to help you with that?

>>16230474
>Walk in to bookstore
>”Boo!”
>”Aaah!”
Never again

smelliest, grossest people are always in front of Philosophy/Religion reading fucking Japanese comic books on the floor. Or the bookstore decides to put a table and chairs with a chess board right in front of that section for a gaggle of middle schoolers to drape over like monkeys in a barrel. Guess I'll shop for books some other time.
Also, kids on this board will never remember
>YuGiOh tournaments at the bookstore.

>>16234473
they sell more + are more available

i was talking to an owner and he said he never sees philosophy or any of the more "niche" classics around - i think they just buy large stacks of used books from whole-salers instead of wasting money on individual purchases (other than the big popular names nowadays). most used bookshops around here struggle to stay open anyways, its sad

>>16237987
>can't get to history section without wading through a gaggle of ugly teenage girls around the manga section

this is why i buy second hand online. if i want to get something new i go near-closing time when all the degenerates are home

>>16237987
Having to wade through stinky yu-gi-oh players to get to the classics section sounds like a special brand of torture

im really fucking drunk so sorry if this doesn't sound right
>2017
>be me
>just finished my MA in polisci
>adjunct at a small town university while finishing my doctorate
>mostly teach freshman courses
>have a diagnosed incontinence issue
>was in a little/big relationship with a 9/10 mommy
>little/big shit wasn't my fetish but hers and I was alright with it because of how rural the area was and how good she looked
>main catch was making me, the little, wear disposable diapers in the day and cloth diapers at home
>didn't mind the AB style diapers since i already had to normal diapers at night to prevent soaking my bed
>plus i was a horny coomer who'd do anything for a fuck
>the main "used bookstore" in town is filled with collections of beautiful books from dead professors
>books ranged from leather bound encyclopedias to
>was regular there and would drop in once a week
>one afternoon on my way home i decided to make a stop and peruse
>son of the owner is a bookchad and normally staffs the store
>guy couldn't be older than 18
>walk into the small shop
>"He-" the bookchad stops and looks at me puzzled "H-Hey Anon... How are you?"
>I reply with a corny joke
>find a copy of The Naval War of 1812 from 1885 and walk to the counter
>Bookchad looks at me with slanted eyes
>"Hey anon... are you wearing a diaper?"
>my face went pale with fear
>"Wh-what do you mean?"
>I notice that the back of my shirt is tucked into the elastic strap of my diaper
>oshit_ofuck_ofuck.png
>think on my feet and make up some stupid lie
>"Nah Bookchad you don't understand, that's not a diaper"
>very clearly an AB style diaper with childish designs
>"I wear plastic underwear to prevent... uh... chafing... because uh... I have a skin condition"
>change the subject before he pries deeper
>bookchad rings me up and i say my goodbyes before leaving the store
>get to my car and feel unbelievable shame
>hands down the most embarrassing moment of my life
>immediately went home, broke up with my 9/10 gf and tossed most of the AB shit
>took me 2 months for me to wear normal underwear without the fear of wetting myself
>to this day I still have an emergency supply of cloth diapers
there is a happy ending though:
I got married last October to a woman who doesn't use me as a fetish plaything.
The lesson I learned was to never sacrifice your morals in exchange for degeneracy and coom.
Because of the stated event this theme is one of the major cornerstones i teach freshmen in my intro philosophy course.
im really fucked drunk so sorry if this sounds shitty but its the best i can do rn

>>16231406

>>16230844
based and cornpilled

>>16234899
>The owners make $200k+ a year that they live comfortably on. They don't deserve this so I refuse to shop at them. And the real horror is that this is most bookstores. I refuse to reward midwits who got lucky in life. I don't want their wealth. I want them to be poor like they deserve to be.

have i got some news for you anon

>>16237143
this is just bookstores monetizing space so that they can pay the bills by selling things that appeal to most people like funko, legos etc., get over it--not every store can pay the rent with the rise of e-readers and a declining market share thanks to bezos

>>16238671
Nice.

I went to a Swedish bookstore once and they didn't have any books I wanted by Swedish authors and they asked me why I wanted to read books by old people. Not that my local bookstore here in America is any better.

>>16231394
Why are these>>16231268 types so insecure?

>>16230474
Yeah, I was really into the secrets of droon books when I was young, and this probably 6 or 7 year old girl came into the barnes and noble with her mom one time where I was and she said "look, they have the secrets of droon!" and she pronounced 'droon' wrong. Fucking idiot.

>>16239154
Lol did she say droon instead of droon? What a faggot

>>16237946
kek

>>16239159
lol

>>16238671
feelsbadman

>>16233431
Fucking based

>>16230844
I lost

>>16231717
Unbelievably based

>>16233524
The victimhood complex is astounding in this one

>Go to 2nd and Charles, a "hip" used bookstore
>Sit down in chair with a book
>It's next to this coffee bar but there is a wall that sticks out for a couple feet between the bar and the chairs so that you cant see the coffee bar and vice versa.
>You can still hear people at the coffee bar talking though
>It's empty until this one guy comes up and orders something
>He starts telling the girl barista about Rick and Morty
>He talks about Rick and Morty for at least 10 minutes telling her how funny it is
>I am listening in on this conversation the entire time
>I am mostly trying to gauge whether the girl is interested about the conversation or is just doing her job
>Determine that she isn't into the conversation but the guy just keeps going on
>It's getting cringe listening to this guy embarrassing himself
>Realize that if this normie looking dood (I saw him when he walked toward the bar) is sounding cringy, I bet this barista has to deal with men acting cringy all the time
>Realize that I could be much worse off as a person and that if most normies are like this, I would rather be alone than be a normie

>>16237960
Kek

I was arrested for stealing a copy of Walt Whitmans poetry when I was 16 and the bookstore actually went through with the charges.

>>16238851
Frankly I'm still surprised that barnes and nobles is even still in business with Amazon being much more convenient. The last time I went to buy a book there they didn't even have anything by Plato

>Go to my local Borders yesterday
>My pheromones are quite heavy today
>I walk in the front doors, being sure to actually open both of them for my passthrough.
>The waft of my Jungian animus must've diffused in the room already
>oh_shit.pdf
>Every person in the room looks on me with the longing eyes of a potential partner
>"Ugh, here we go again..."
>I have to make eye contact with every single one of them because of the wisdom of the old kings
>3 minutes later, I make my way to the customer support desk.
>"Hello fellow human who I respect immensely for the labor you are willing to provide, I ordered a book to be sent here for purchase?"
>"Ah yes good sir, today you are surely winning!"
>I nod my head slightly in appreciation of the lower classes.
>Walking out
>The hot bimbo reincarnation of Susan Sontag approaches me

always embarrassing to see your ex in public.

>>16239615
>Borders
are you a time traveler, anon?

>>16230536
I'm a ghost! I'm a ghost!

>>16230844
>Border’s bookstore
a-anon

borders closed like 10 years ago

>>16231084
>When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen copies of the Gulag Archipelago towering over his head without paying.

lost

>>16231742
iirc most book stores make the employees shill to all customers about those programs and get on their ass if they dont

>>16238671
that sucks
also uhhhhhhh
im glad your incontinence issues went away

>>16237252
>books are 75% christian self help books
>half the store is just encyclopedias and atlases
25% christian self help encyclopedias? based

>>16238671
Poopies lol

>>16239590
Did you ponder in silence at the police station?

>>16238671
Holy based
Diaperfaggotry is a hard thing to break
Congrats, anon.

>>16239615
Happens to me every time

>>16230474
>Buy a book of poetry by our national poet
>Use a bill with him on it just to see if it would trigger a reaction
>Nothing happens
>I try to point it out to the cashier
>She just looks at the bill and goes "hehh"

>>16241146
Kek
I'd have laughed

>>16241146
what poet

>>16241146
ill rewrite this how it actually happened:
>be me
>probably some slav, nigger or spic
>late teens/ early twenties
>weighs 300lbs+
>live in a 3rd world nation that puts random people, who no one cares about, on their currency
>father beat me earlier for dropping a vegetable or some shit
>walk into a 3rd world shithole bookstore
>notice the bookstore warlord sitting in the back on his book throne made up of kant and popper
>see some random 6/10 cashier
>need to compensate for my dad beating me by getting her attention
>autism gears start turning
>"heh, ill be epic and show her how epic and cool i am"
>pull monopoly money currency out of the sandwich bag i call my "wallet"
>rummage through the crumpled up bills and find a random guy i know nothing about
>walk through the store and try to find a book related to him
>find some gay poetry
>perfect
>walk back over to the cash register
>she looks up
>"Hello s-"
>slam book down on the counter
>cashier jumps, frightened
>bookstore warlord jumps off his book throne in surprise
>"C-can I help you sir"
>gesture towards book
>"are you buying this?"
>gesture again
>"s-sir do you have any money to pay for this"
>spaghetti.jpg
>i start making loud grunting sounds
>whip out my crumpled up bills
>point to the man on the bill
>cashier looks terrified at this point
>"h-heehhhh, yeah that's the man who wrote this"
>start making louder grunts and slam my fists on the counter
>run out of the store without my book or monopoly money while autistically screeching
>two of the bookstore warlords guards are outside
>they beat me to a pulp
>go home crying
and that's the real story of how anon is a dumb, poor, fat, autistic 3rd worlder anon got his ass handed to him.

>>16241425
Who hurt you?

>>16241425
>bookstore warlord
Lost.

>>16241467
>namefag tranny thinking his opinion matters
fuck off

>>16241146
Brilliantly mundane story. I love it anon

>>16238671
Good on you anon, glad you got out of it

>>16240386
Yes, I sat there and wondered about how important death is in life as I waited for my dad to come get me from the youth detention center and for the beating I knew I was going to get

>>16231530
autistic old fag most likely, I was going to post a similar response and I'm 30.I have been on 4chan since YTMND was popular.

>>16237946
No. But this thread has me thinking there may be a market.

>>16241320
Jónas Hallgrímsson
>>16241425
Sorry, but it didn't happen that way. Iceland isn't a part of the 3rd world.