/lit/ - Literature

>>15932987
There is nothing on my mind.

I don't care about any thread or anything anymore. My entire life is just cooming now and I know how badly it affects me. It stole my motivation. I can't quit and the same time, I can't live with it. If feels like a cope just going on knowing that this is directing my every action.

>>15933014
I'm convinced that this is a cope to my previous post. I've done the same thing. Something unpleasant about COOOOOOMING makes someone recoil back to it as if to say why ever give this up. When I used to read (before this took over my life), Augustine said something similar in his Confessions, where women would assail him and mock him saying "Do you really think you can live without us?". This may be a metaphor for the subconscious reaction of the brain not just at the path of celibacy but even less extreme alternatives like cutting porn out of your life or reducing the frequency of masturbation which compels someone to answer no as this poster did and I sometimes do.

>>15932987
got murder on my mind

I swear seeing my ex in my dream is like a premonition for something stupid or bad or something stupid and bad to happen. I haven't seen this bitch for three years and yet she pops back in my dreams once in a while. I'm even annoyed about it in my dream.

>>15933276
Which boils back to the grip that coom has over you.

Joyce's farts

>>15932987
want to make a vow that will help me curb my internet and masturbation addictions. I thought I would try to incorporate good habits in my life by requiring myself to perform beneficial actions to unlock the use of media for that day. Push-ups, reading, meditating, etc. I’ve used vows to cut out 4chan before, going 30 days once, and I’ve cut porn permanently, but I would like to go further.

>>15933294
I wish you luck, anon.

>>15933078
I didn't even read your other post, if you can believe it. I saw the pic and thought it was weird as fuck so I posted this here when the thread came up.

>>15933078

Women use their sexuality to vie for power. Excess sexual indulgence can obviously become pathological for men, especially given our much higher libido compared to women. It can consume so much time to come at a cost to other important endeavors. Nonetheless sex is required to continue the race and bear a lineage. So there is an inherent tension, women always have some degree of power over you by virtue of their sexual powers as sex is a necessity. But of course it is in their self interest to use this same power against mankind for their benefit

>>15933303
It still applies.

>>15933309
For you.

>your like my best friend anon
>I haven't told anyone else this but I trust you, anon
>you get me on an existential level, anon
people say shit like this to me frequently but I still feel utterly friendless and alone. wtf is wrong with me

>>15933305

and 1 more point: women think about sex as more central to existence than men do, and are also highly egotistical and tend to view masculinity exclusively in light of sexuality and libido. It's a skewed perception, since they have so much more to gain and lose from relationships and sexual reproduction and are much more attached to their children.

>>15933318

It doesn't seem like something you would say to somebody you actually liked, rather it's a way of seeming friendly while actually patronizing somebody. Such statements imply they think that you are lonely and lost in your head

>>15933285
Not saying you're wrong because I was actually looking at some hentai but why I gotta translate latin/greek in my dream too?

>>15933335
I think I get you but you are a little off key.

It is probably because he is normally very detached that people feel required to present things that way, not sure of the congruent way to approach.

But again I am well aware of the almost sociopathic, solipsism confirmations to manipulate someone.

I want to take up sculpting because I want to.

did anything inspire this image or is it original? i've seen the purple tentacle/floating motion elsewhere
can't find anything reverse image searching or in archives and this gets posted every nick land so someone here must know

>>15932987
I feel a sense of dread at not being able to change anything outside of myself and my family. I feel an immense apathy towards outsiders and towards my life goals. Must be the summer haze, but this feels wrong.

I think I’m going to buy canvases and paint and paint out the scenes that I’m thinking of in my head for a book I want to write.

>>15932987
>mfw I walked around with a copy of Leviathan at the 8th grade end of year cookout because I was a massive dweeb and had no friends

It took me moving back in with my alcoholic parents to finally understand the kind of shit I put you through. I know it's best that we don't talk anymore. When I drunkedly texted you last time, and you asked who I was, then stopped texting after I told you my name was the right decision. That simple three message conversation had done more good for me than you ever could have done if we continued to talk. The final nail in a coffin I refused to close for so long. I lied to myself and held on to something I never really had. You not replying was what allowed me to let go. Now that I'm back with my parents and see how they act with each other I can see with sober eyes how I acted around you. I've deleted all contacts I've had of you, and I hope that I never get a grab of them again. If I somehow ever see you in public I won't acknowledge you and I hope you don't acknowledge me either. I had feared that the last year I had stagnated, but now I know I've grown up more in this year than the one I had with you. Truthfully it's shameful and it hurts to be on the other side of the leash. Thank you Jacob for not indulging me or my bullshit anymore. Things couldn't have gone better any other way.

How should we go about connecting with those that are similar to ourselves? You would think the internet would facilitate this, but instead loneliness has become a more and more common complaint, even among normies.

The more time I spend around normie girls the more I realize I would never be able to relax if I were in a relationship with one, it would be exhausting. How do I find an stay-in-for-evening introvert gf?

thinking about buddhism after listening to recent BAPcast. Going to seriously look into the dharmic religions and schopenhauer very soon

>>15932987

Desperately need relationship advice regarding this potential marriage:

1/2

It’s hard to assess the pros and cons of being with or without someone I deeply love. I’m very confused about my relationship because I can’t tell if my reasons for wanting to be single are valid or not. She is the ideal girlfriend in an objective sense, her love is like a soft grassy field or a body of warm water you safely drown in. I think she’s adorable in the way a baby saint might be, the goodness in her soul is remarkable, and whether it’s directed at myself or others it’s lovely to behold. That is essentially why I love her, she keeps me on proper guidance and she’s smart enough to make worthwhile conversation on most topics. But I feel there’s always been something “missing” if that’s the right word. I don’t consider what we have to be “chemistry” as we are fundamentally very different people. I have that obnoxious 4chan, pretentious artist, intellectual autist background, she was less raised by the internet than placid suburbia and good Christian values. I generally gravitate towards women who are also artists, alienated in some way, bizarre in some way, whereas she is unlike them and closer to that “trad wife” fantasy and it’s hard to reconcile. Not because I necessarily want an art hoe, but because I feel sometimes we want different things in life. I love her dearly but not passionately, and not in that way that makes you want to show a girl off. I’m not always that happy to see her, I prefer to be alone most days but thats just my nature I think. My love for her feels lukewarm but profound still, if that makes sense. But she loves the idea of marriage and family and settling down and I do too at times, but she expects me to marry her next year and I’ll be 24 or 25 while she will be 22, and I don’t know if I want that right now or that I can satisfy her needs if I try to do that. I feel obligated to marry her because she’s so good to me and I feel like it’d be good for me spiritually, and I don’t loathe her at all, so I could theoretically tolerate any sorts of regrets I carry. But my issue is I’m always looking elsewhere, I have a hard time meeting a girl that actually meets “my type” without developing a crush, hence I try to avoid making friends with women but it’s happened recently and it’s killing me. The girl is exactly who I’d usually date and it reminds me what it’s like to actually connect with someone rather than just love them for how they treat you and others, and it’s very conflicting. I think my current girlfriend is one of the most beautiful people I will ever meet in terms of the soul, but I don’t know if I should prioritize that to having a connection with someone, I feel like I should though because “connection” feels superficial.

>>15934350

2/2

I connect because we are artists, depressives, alienated, theoretical types, all those things that define me among others, and the girl has a good soul from what I’ve seen, but I doubt as good as my current girl. Not that I plan on dating this girl anyway but, my point is, I worry if I marry this one for the sake of duty and love and soul I’ll have regrets about not getting a girl I had chemistry with, not to mention I don’t want to be married at 24. She does make me happy, but when I think of what make me happy in life I mostly think of doing things alone, and she always wants to be included in things but I prefer to have a private life with her. Sometimes I feel like im embarrassed of her and I feel guilty because it’s ridiculous, she’s great, lovely again. But I don’t know. I keep trying to tell myself I can just put aside our differences for love, and truly I can’t fathom being without her since we’re coming up on our fourth year together but, I just feel endlessly confused. I never make up my mind about these feelings I’m always back and forth about whether or not I should be with her. I don’t know why people get married but sometimes I wish she’d do something wrong so I’d have an excuse to break up with her and that’s not a good sign. But he’s almost literally perfect and I want to give her everything for it, I just don’t know if that’s what I intrinsically want.


Anyone willing to read this and offer advice will be deeply appreciated.

>>15932987
I want to hug Myrna Loy

The gap between my reality and my ambition/goals grows further ever year

My journeys in transcendental meditation are becoming terrifying. I see images. I hear noises. I don't normally. Ever. It is as if I'm dreaming whilst awake. The mantra I made up allows me to focus but the images flash unbidden to me. A woman in black. Faces, but just barely discernible. A beach of sand but nothing else. What is this? The subconscious?

>>15934408
i love you butterfly no matter what they say please never leave us

>>15934560

Yeah, it sounds like you’re enjoying it though.

>>15932987
will the white race go extinct in the next 200 years? what will happen to our heritage and civilization and science?

I am tired of being trapped in a shithole country and not being able to leave. I can't do anything towards my future or career because of how limited everything is for foreigners. I wish I could go back to my country, but the war seems like its not going to end any time soon. I'm slowly losing hope and I feel the anxiety getting worse every day.

I wish all foreigners would go back to their war torn countries and stop stealing jobs

>>15934612
It is very interesting and I will continue to do it but I'd like to know what it truly is, if that makes sense. I get that it's my brain (or is it ooooh????) but what comes of it? I am so full of questions that I don't know where to look to find answers.

>>15932987
>grey folds writhing

>>15933470
No idea

Imagination and wildest dreams combined can't envisage can't envisage my happiness in any kind of relationship. Glimpses of waking up next to someone you love and trust, a soothing embrace under the coast's flying spray, staring deeply into caring eyes come and go but the camera pans and it is never me on the receiving end. I feel taunted by the promise of others' securities and receipt of affection.

ignore this tfwnogf post

just take any ingredients in your fridge and throw them in a soup pot. just add somewater and spices. you cant go wrong unless you’re retarded and then you can go wrong. make some soup tonight anons. it’s very horny

>>15935454
This faggot knows what he's talking about. Eating some soup right now and it's like blowing a load

>>15935454
you fucker im in
thursday is now soup day

>>15934560
I've been having those as well. They are the contents of the unconscious. Read Jung.

>>15932987
I write because my life and the world feels so mundane that I have trouble bearing it sometimes. There is a very deep-seated yearning in me that wishes for something more to life, something greater for me to aspire to or to be involved in. Some kind of event that is truly enthralling and emotional, whether it be sweet or bitter. I constantly struggle to find something in life that captivates me to such a degree.

Stories, for me, are the only place that I can find those feelings expressed in some way, but even then most stories fall short of the mark. So I feel compelled to write my own stories and try to express those feelings within me. If I can't find it in the world then I need to try my best to create it myself.

I sometimes wonder why I feel this way and how many others feel similarly. Maybe it is because, throughout my life, I have been so starved of emotion and eventfulness that I have come to crave such things to an inordinate degree. Seeking them has become the driving force behind my life. My desire to seek these things out is the only thing I feel that truly compels me, in action, in emotion, and in thought.

So there's this idea that in every man there's a constant struggle between his savage, violent, animal side and his civilized, rational, divine side. I can't figure out where it comes from, since every day I see animals living in relative harmony and making reasonable decisions given their knowledge. Violence for its own sake seems to be the dominion of gods and men, and so is making wild miscalculations based on layers of assumptions.

>>15935623
>So there's this idea that in every man there's a constant struggle between his savage, violent, animal side and his civilized, rational, divine side.
It used to be the case, when religion and morality were taken seriously. You'd as the most obvious example avoid fornication because it was a sin a few centuries ago. Then, partly as the result of the argument you mentioned, there were huge movements towards unrepressing the repressions and we descended to the realm of animals or perhaps even lower.

>>15935623
Animals live by instinct. Sometimes it compels them to act violently, and sometimes it does not. "Animal" behavior is neither wholly violent nor wholly harmonious. Humans are the same way. The difference is that we have the intellect to be capable of resisting instinct should we believe it right to do so. That resistance is what gives rise to the struggle between the "animal" side and the "civilized" side. The "animal" side of human behavior is not always savage and violent, but those are most often raised because they are the instincts that people are primarily concerned with resisting. That is where the idea comes from.

Also, violence for its own sake does not exist. Violence always serves a purpose, no matter how petty, even in men.

>>15935608
I resonate on a fundamental level with everything you wrote. To become engrossed in stories, I think, is something beautiful and necessary. The idea that we have to settle for monotony and ennui is a destructive lie. Keep writing, for the good of the world.

Nothing even mildly notable has happened in my life in a decade.

>>15935849
Do you feel fulfilled? If not, do you seek fulfillment?

>>15935897
Nah I've given up. Just accepted my life already peaked years ago and it's all a slow decline from here.

I want to go back now more than ever at the end of it all. Weird feeling. Culty, more than anything.

nofap is making me so horny and aggressive
I don’t want to rush things with this girl but she can tell

>>15935998
Just stop then? It's only a problem if you're addicted to porn/doing it multiple times everyday >>15935998

>>15936326
only domesticated animals masturbate. Im going in

>>15933470
looks like the "all ur base r belong to us" dialogue screens

I will try to make a list for her. Not sure what to say though.

>>15936500
Here's what I went with. Is it okay? I can't tell if it's autistic.

>>15936507
this is extremely autistic
you can only salvage it by immediately sending "want to fuK?"
tinder is for sex not anime waifus

>>15936422
He wants to have sex with a woman (presumably outside marriage) which is just as bad in kants eyes so you might as well just fap

>>15936617
Kant's definition of marriage as a contract for mutual use of genital organs means a lot of people who think they are having extramarital sex are actually married.

>camus believed that acknowledging absurd increased freedom of choice
It doesnt set me free.

I think I'm doing well, and it scares me.

My shitty job contract ends tomorrow, and I've been offered a great job at a charity where I get to travel around the world.

I'm having regular casual sex with the woman I love, perhaps even the first woman I've ever loved romantically. It's amazing. For a long time, I believed I was incapable of love and ricocheted from one halfhearted relationship to another, leaving human wreckage in my wake. This is different. She's cleverer, more driven, and more personable than me ─ and I'm not insecure about admitting it. I'm just happy she's with me. And she's funny. God, she's funny. Anyway.

I'm writing more than I've ever written before, and have my first article coming out in print. My poetry is also developing, and I'm thinking about sending some into competitions.

I've quit smoking hash, and am exercising regularly; hell, I'm even reading faster and more widely than ever before.

I'm calling my elderly relatives regularly, and am getting to know them in ways I didn't think possible. If you have any, give them a call. They'll be immensely grateful, and they have so many things to talk about if you only ask.

I've spent so long believing that I'm a worthless piece of shit who wouldn't amount to anything that I don't know how to react to this. I don't want to take it for granted. I don't want to take anything ─ or, for that matter, anyone ─ for granted.

Perhaps I don't know if I deserve this. There's so much sheer pain and misery in the world, and things are only going to get worse. I'm terrified of the collapse we're sleepwalking into, and don't know how to stop it, or even help as many people as possible.

Anyway, that's what's on my mind.

I work a boring govt bureaucrat job and yesterday I visited a co-worker's apartment because he needed to sign some papers despite taking a sick leave, the first thing you're greeted with by entering is an empty living room with a fucking noose hanging in the middle of it, he made a cringe Camus tier joke about the noose being there as an alternative choice to coffee in the morning.
what the fuck is wrong with him? should I call suicide prevention hotlines or is he just going through an edgy phase at 23 years old?

>>15936971
that’s pretty based, have a beer with him

3D cannot compete

>>15936971
How absurd

Life is like ass, looks nice but only feeds you with shit.

>mfw I remember the time I used floccinaucinihilipilification in the middle of a class Becuase Jacob Rees-Mott did it in parliament and I thought it would be cool, but I kept stuttering and pronouncing it wrong so everyone just laughed at me or gave me a confused stare.
And I wonder why I had no friends.

I really do not like my parents.

Is music at it's core just an imitation of sex?

>>15932987
What did Saunders mean by doing this?

>Given his status as arguably the most critically celebrated practitioner of the short story today, it seems unusual the extent to which George Saunders’s short fictions (particularly those of his earliest two collections, CivilWarLand in Bad Decline [1996] and Pastoralia [2000]) return, again and again, to the same thematic territory, the same motifs, even the same plots. A typical early George Saunders story, with variations, runs thusly: a downon-his-luck narrator (usually male) in a vaguely dystopian American present slaves away at a cartoonish blue-collar job for little satisfaction and less financial reward. Said narrator, robbed of agency by the social conditions of his world, is forced to make some difficult choice, the act of which (and the outcome of which) leads invariably to an ethically compromised position. The jobs change—from historical theme park “verisimilitude inspector” (“CivilWarLand in Bad Decline”) to professional caveman (“Pastoralia”) to rodential pest exterminator (“The 400-Pound CEO”), “drive-through hand job” facilitator (“Bounty”) to male stripper complete with oversized “Penile Stimulator” (“Sea Oak”)—and the source of ethical compromise shifts, too, though the locust is often the protagonist’s complicity in the death of another human being, usually a child, and often the hero is doubly compromised by the economic hardships of providing for a family (as the narrator of “CivilWarLand” reflects, “Is this the life I envisioned for myself? My God no. I wanted to be a high jumper. But I have two of the sweetest children ever born” [9]).

>>15937505

Yes, it’s the only art that goes “into” you and moves your body.

Going to pay a whore to have anal and just get it out of my system.
Beter than all the online shit.
Call me a coomer, but I'm gonna pull the fucking trigger, bros...

gf is once again trying to fight me over petty, ridiculous shit and I just do not have the energy for it

>>15938915
i bet it isn't petty at all

>>15937036
your classmates were floccinaucinilihilipificating you

>>15933294
Update: I made the vow. In the past few weeks I have done nothing. Today I read 5 pages of the Bible, meditated for 10 minutes, did an 8 minute ab workout, and did various posture movements and exercises for 10 reps or so, depending on the movement, such as wall angels, squats, neck curls, calf raises, supermans, and cherry pickers.

I’m very satisfied that I was able to effortlessly complete the tasks, especially given my recent laziness, but I wonder if the tasks were too easy. I don’t want to make them so difficult that I don’t feel motivated at all to complete them. But overall I think this vow has been beneficial so far.

My dream is to get rich so I can live a comfy domestic life with no worries. Whenever I tell people this they get confused why my goal isn’t to get rich and buy a Ferrari or a mansion. Literally all I want is to spend my mornings sitting on the porch with my wife drinking coffee.

>>15932987
Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People might have some good advice but.... Jesus Christ, this is written like GARBAGE and he keeps going on and on and on and on about all these people I don't give a fuck about doing things I don't give a fuck about. I sat today to read the third chapter and I couldn't do it. Tomorrow I'll just skip to the fourth chapter and not give a fuck.

WHO THE FUCK LIKES THIS SHIT? MY GOD!! SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE AN ABRIDGED VERSION OF THIS SHIT.

>>15932987
America controls the world and Jews manipulate a disproportionate amount of America's wealth. They conspire openly in organizations such as the Jewish Federation of North America. There they plot to enslave America, and through America the world, and benefit Israel. Soon, African and European Americans will rise as one to throw off the Jewish yoke.
Anyways, I'm going to go biking soon and then I might read.

>>15937036
Respect.

Don't be a victim, be an perpetrator.

>>15938882
know that it is never too late to repent

thinking about becoming a low level beaurocrat. I bet it's pretty chill. maybe I even get to work with something that matters to someone.

>>15936671
I really don't get Camus the philosopher. Camus the novelist is preddy gud tho

>>15939331
I asked this in the last thread, why bother with the bargaining if you feel that 4chan is harming you?

>>15933220
sorry to hear that anon. you might not think it is something to be sorry for, but one day your heart will soften.

>>15938915
maybe there's a real fight she wants to have but she doesn't know how to start it? fuck do I know but it seems a somewhat reasonable guess

>>15932987
https://www.litcharts.com/ why this isn't a thing here?

This board is shit

this is only a moment. God brought us to it. but the afterlife will last longer.

>>15940980
Yes, she uses inconsequential things as a jumping off point for fights over what she thinks are real issues. That way it is always a "real fight" and always my fault. She goes on and on saying the same old horrible shit about me and there seems to be no strategy for dealing with it other than letting her tire herself out. This happens 2-3 times a month. I really want out.

Going to the liquor store tomorrow to drown my sorrows. What should I get?

>>15941129
the second cheapest whiskey

>>15941140
Never had much whiskey, why should I get that and not vodka? vodka is cheaper

>>15941154
it tastes better, straight or mixed

>>15941129
this is a slippery slope anon- few things are as obvious as this. Is there anything else you can think of doing to get your mind off whatever it is that is troubling you?

>>15941195
Thanks, I'll try it.

>>15941204
suicide

>>15941098
they are wily creatures.
that sounds awful anon, I really don't know what do say other than if you're miserable and want out, you should consider that.

>>15941238
sorry to hear that. I hope over time you can get a chance to get away from whatever it is that is causing this.

>>15941098
how long have you been together for?

>>15941140
Why the second cheapest?

>>15941363
I'm assuming the cheapest will be garbage, while the second cheapest is good enough without being too expensive.

Mates, this is weird!
I'm bisexual and the more I have sex (or masturbate), the more gay I am and if I stop for a few days I'm far more into grills. No joking.

>>15941129
kratom

>>15941334
4 months

I unironically feel like I should've read more fantasy and YA as a kid

I need escapism yet all bores me

>>15941503
what are the good parts?

>>15941518
this
or just read more fiction in general, while i'm grateful for now having a decent stem background, i feel this could have been achieved with less time spend on skinnerbox vidya

>>15941479
I haven't jerked it for a few days and I'm still gay.
If I was straight I'd have a girlfriend by now. Feels bad man

when the fuck am I supposed to stop fighting ?

>>15940854
It seems like he has good ideas. Should i rather use Nietzsche as guidance?

>>15941692
What stops you from finding a bf then?

>>15937576
What do you mean, he didn’t write that.
He writes on the zeitgeist of the day with a layer of absurd surrealism. Companion lit for some of that pop-surrealist art.

>>15941766
Who got hit?

i miss my father.

Hmmmm yes….can you taste it? Has it lodged itself obdurately in the cavity above the roof of the mouth where a more noble sputum once dwelt? Yes….exquisite. Do you feel the pang as it descends the esophageal canal to envelope your righteous heart in putrefaction? Heed my advice, do not expend your vigour in attempting to dislodge my gift, I assure you such labours are futile at this juncture. Yes….you are not mistaken….it was I who swam the yoke of shadow to your bedside in the night, though you thought me a mere phantom of the torpid hour. It was I who slithered over your petrified flesh, and with a gross convulsion of the diaphragm, imparted my slime between your quivering ruby lips, though you thought me a mere phantom. Do not recoil in disgust from my visage, for to do so is a most ignoble deed, unworthy of the race of men to which you belong. In time your rustic abode will become nought but a cradle of masturbation, and at some uncertain hour you will be gripped by a violent impulse to expel - by way of the mouth and nose - the tainted mucus which infests you. Heed my words; do not surrender to this impulse, the time is not yet ripe. Stay yourself yet a while longer, until such a night as your province is assailed by a savage wind, only then may you unlatch the aperture of your tepid dungeon and vomit my gift into the tempest, to be carried off about the land.

>>15942154
and yes this is what's been on my mind tonight

>start new job remotely, company laptop
>orientation today
>only 1 other new employee besides myself, some literally 70 year old boomer
>boomer shows up an hour late to the meeting, citing "tech problems"
>laptop was all set up, just had to plug it in and connect to wifi
>training in the system by watching screenshare of team lead
>???
>later turns out the boomer doesn't know how to use a laptop trackpad
>had to be walked through it
>had to spend 10 minutes teaching the boomer how to create a folder on their desktop

>boomers will, despite being complete fucking retards, live a life of luxury and ease and financial success that my generation could only dream of
I'm actually considering jumping off a skyscraper tbqfh. This fucking goblin probably makes more than I do, too. give me one reason to not immediately kill myself

>>15936691
>I've been offered a great job at a charity where I get to travel around the world.
what job title? if i don't get a better job soon i'm going to exit the planet

>>15942124
are you the anon who lost him several months ago (perhaps sooner)? i read your post about wanting to make him proud with intent to respond in that WWOYM thread but i fell asleep in the middle and in the morning, the thread died. i hope you’re holding up okay, i’ve been thinking about you. many years ago i lost an immediate family member too, and it’s not easy. nothing can treat the grief but time and even then i can still access those memories and i feel totally raw about it. i hope you have the support you need, and if not, i hope you find it. i’m sorry to hear that. take care of yourself. love you, anon. if you don’t mind it, i can pray for you and your dad.

>>15942124
me too anon

I predicted what would happen in the USA back in the winter of 2018. I'm almost terrified to be proven right, and I admit I did not foresee a pandemic as a contributing factor. Yet this can only be interpreted to take more faith in one's one thoughts and to be reassured that I have my finger on the pulse.
Intuition is vexing and nearly horrifying to the rational intellect. The way we know without actually knowing how we know. It makes it feel as if the clear and sturdy walls of rationality are nothing but a porous illusion and that we are plugged into an inscrutable mind-monster, an collective unconscious that we can only supplicate and petition as pathetic savages before their callous and unflinching gods.
Of course the next step is to follow it through and scry further into the depths. I have a haunting feeling that I don't like what I will see.

>>15934355
Talk to her about your feelings m8. Love is not singleplayer

>>15940884
slowly replacing bad habits with good habits. Simply reducing the time on 4chan per day is good progress.

>fapped to cuckold porn for +5 times today
I am a sick man... I am a spiteful man. I am an unpleasant man. I think my hernia hurts. I don't wanna treat it, my doctor's a hack and can't tell the difference between scabies and an allergy. I know that I should stop but I'll probably do it again tomorrow.

The feeling of helplessness and the impression of ineffectiveness in praying are merely illusions because, in fact, praying is effective from a divine point of view, not how people think it is; the purpose of praying is not to change God's will, but to change the nature of the one who prays. And this change is divine and not merely material.

>>15942870
it doesn't have to be this way anon

rancid menstrual chunks

It's another week where there are no good music releases on Apple Music. Probably later I'll find some dank shit on music blogs, but the most popular releases that all get pushed to the top of the genre pages fucking dull as shit. Jesse Lanza is the only vaguely interesting one, but she usually has like one good song per album, and I'm not in the mood to sift through it.

Why im so angry? I even managed to break my hand by punching it to the wall out of existential frustration.

>>15942230
>life of luxury
>still wagecucking at 70

>>15942870
1) start lifting
2) hang out on /fit
3) accept you're slightly bisexual after looking at pics of swole men all day
4) accept your homo-urges without the self-hatred of cuck porn

Worked for me.

femoids invading my mind again, how do I get them to stop psychically assaulting me when we’re apart

I have no energy despite living relatively healthily, and in my head there's a constant, dull ache. Studying seems impossible like this.

regret not approaching any women when I had clear plan of doing so, sitting all summer on my own with no friends and/or gf. sucks

>approaching late 20s
>still working retail
>no degree/skills
>live in the middle of nowhere
>can't move because i'm caring for my sick mother
>no way out
i don't feel so good bros...

Nofap is my last and only hope. I lead a healthy life: I don't drink, I don't smoke, I lift weights and do cardio. However, I have absolutely no energy or ambition. I can't find pleasure in anything. I still have 3 years to study at university studying a major that is really difficult and does not give me pleasure.
I have no drive to do anything. I was lucky enough to be born into a family with above average income therefore I've got enough things I need for a comfortable life and I am still measurable.

Depressed losers itt take the GnRH pill
all you have to do is eat high chromium foods, go to the gym and sleep well and you will turn everything around

>>15945819
gyms are closed during quarantine tho

>>15944932
What's happened today?

>>15945854
It happened last August. I managed to punch and completely shatter my knuckles. I just felt so angry because i was talking with father about future. At one moment i snaped and realized that all reading and researching was for nothing and it got me nowhere. Next thing you know 3 strikes to concrete and im in the hospital. I know most of the time im depressed or nervous but that time everything became pure anger over my inability to do anything right. Even to this day im reading various books and schools of philosophical thought in order to find the which would ease the agony.

>>15945830
just do push-ups and pull-ups until you get a pump

Loneliness makes you a bad person. You don't get to experience time in your day for any genuine meaningful happiness and you become a more and more insufferable person in your every day interactions. The closest you get to happiness is distraction: the internet, tv, booze, weed. Your unhappiness exudes out from you, you become a worse person. You take out your anger on those weaker than you. You begin to abuse your authority. I like to abuse my authority. I like to be a cunt to those I can boss around. I never thought I would be that kind of person. I tell myself I don't like it but I'm addicted to it. I'm addicted to picking on kids. I'm addicted to being the asshole who targets kids he knows he can get away with ragging on. I like seeing people scared I enjoy putting people in awkward situations because I feel like on some level they deserve it. I'm delivering the punishment they deserve. But they are not even part of the equation. It is all navel gazing - I'm bullying them but they're not even there. I'm just jacking myself off. It's like fucking myself. There's a certain jouissance there. When I have sex it's like I'm fucking myself. I don't care about the girl I don't even see the girl. I am just fucking. I am meant to fuck. People are to know that I fuck. I am to know that I fuck. I think I would fuck even if nobody knew. I don't fuck the girl, I fuck myself. Might as well watch porn. I would if porn wasn't evil

>>15945950
my bedroom is so small i don't even have space enough to do a push up - i don't fit

>>15942870
I have successfully cured my porn addiction anon and you can too. the thought of watching porn makes me feel sick in my stomack. it is so far removed from anything I ever even think about. you can be this way too - everybody should be this way. I've never felt happier!

>>15946007
I can't believe someone feels this way this makes me so sad :(
I wish I could make you happy

>>15946032
the secret is fruit smoothies by the way. I usually do orange/watermelon/blueberries. drink one most days and you'll never want to watch porn again.

>>15946019
go outside lol

>>15946049
my house is surrounded by molten lava

>>15945945
Anger is just another one of those coping emotions. It's like being sad or anxious or maniac. People have extremes and limits that are pushed. Psychological trauma and chemical imbalances of the brain. I'm sure if you've been to a psych you've heard all this. Try get yourself a brain scan (they are quite expensive) as there may be something wrong in your brain, physiologically. Sad thing with psychologists is, they put on you a dopamine blocking medication which will make you no longer angry but emotionless.
I hope you can recover as I cannot think of something as terrible as that would be to live with. At least you don't come across as a skitzo psycho and you generally want help, there is hope my friend. Text can help you improve but it won't heal chemical imbalances or potential brain injuries, which I'm not saying you have but it's something people ignore when they've lost all hope.

The normalization and even glorification of the condom and the pill are proof that those directing the engineering of society are evil, contra natura and must be done away with

>>15934355
Great post anon, this was almost exactly the position I'd found myself in a few months ago (although with no pretensions of marriage as I'm only 20). I feel hesitant to give advice to you as I'm much younger, but I ended up breaking up with that girl. Although she was a lovely and kind person, the thought that I'd only ever have a secondary connection with her pained me, given my generally distant and alienated nature I dont have meaningful connections with many people and I felt that a relationship would grant me this, but it didn't. I wont say I'm completely over her but I'm getting on with it and through the process of getting to know myself through this break up I now have a greater sense of what I want in a relationship. Although I miss her sometimes I wouldnt take it back, I look forward to a time in the future where I will be able to make a genuine connection with a girl that is more my type. Thanks again for the post anon it really helped me reflect on my past relationship, I'm sorry if this post seemed to help me more than it helped you though lol

>>15946065
I wouldn't say evil. They are trying to be good they think saving people is good. It's been recited since we're brought out of the womb. It's why multiculturalism exists, people want to help and be nice, they think that's what will advance society.
You have to come to conclusion that, just because your morals are different to another's doesn't make them evil. They just don't know what they are doing is incorrect. People only do things with the intention that it'll be good, that either they and or others will benefit from it.

>>15944932
I used to have permanent bruises above my knuckles from punching the tiles above the urinal at work

>>15946106
I’m not talking about normies. I’m talking about Djerassi, those who funded him, those who raised him, those who used his work as one of the most ambitious social engineering ops that has ever been done. The amount of damage caused by these people against life and against nature is unimaginable

>>15946143
Any books on this topic?

>>15946185
Probably. You can patch together information from biographies and other online resources. They are not benevolent, “humanism” is not benign

>>15932987
thanks op, she is hot bitch in porn, i cum so hard while hurtling through space toward a decommissioned space station. slowly, i pull my knees to my chest and close my eyes as my bowels begin to expel hundreds upon hundreds of beautiful, symmetrical turds, brown as the day is long. i laugh like a young girl as my turds drift aimlessly behind me; they are as butterflies to a child frolicking in the fields of elysium.

i approach the station's docking port, flaccid cock in hand, and prepare to float gently into its inviting confines. i extend my cockless arm jubilantly, as to celebrate the majesty and depth of space, and thank jesus christ for this ultimate gift and blessing. but suddenly, my outstretched arm collides with the outer rim of the docking port, and the trajectory of my quaggy body is violently halted.

the fates afford me barely enough time to turn my head before the turds arrive. one thousand turds, each one seemingly larger than the last. i try in vain to cleanse my eyes of the shitsting, but succeed only in smearing my own fecal matter into a fine asspaste, which slowly seeps into my eyes and nasal cavity. i inhale three hundred and twenty four Space Turds; my lungs are permeated completely with my own shit. i hang lax, spirit broken, defeated by poop. i will never be the same. i am forever a shit faggot.

>>15946307
too much GR reading I assume?

Don't bother thinking about anything even remotely better than this. Put up with what you're given. You can be whatever you want to be, but not that. You have to do what is expected to do.

>>15946064
I tried using meds but it didnt really help. I really wish i could use anger as a force. Perhaps im just too dull when it comes to philosophy and reading in general because nothing really sticks for a longer time.

i can't find a fucking job

I took the SWEAT pledge today

>>15946689
>tfw have a job but we're idle for 3 months already due to the epidemic

is there any value to having been completely alone and miserable and mentally ill for more than half your life?
I've recently become a lot more healthy but feel a little sad that I never got to experience being a teenager or being a student, and all the things I missed out on. it feels like there is nothing I gained in return for losing over a decade of life. What can I do with this experience?

>>15946143
>go to Djerassi's wikipedia page
>within one link you end up on the Maxwell family
It's all so tiresome bros....

>>15946007
Speak for yourself. I've lived with crippling loneliness all my life and it has not made me that way. It sounds like you're just looking for something to blame for your behavior.

I'm gay

>>15932987

I have a deep urge to fuck my girlfriend up her butthole till I nut at least 5 times

>>15946075

Thank you for sharing your experience, it definitely gives me insight. It’s hard to accept the idea that a woman could be ideal but not necessarily ideal for you, and I feel like she’s such a gem I might regret the decision. But at the same time our differences have been continual points of conflict and I don’t actually think they can be resolved without me pretending to be someone I’m not.

>>15947483
I wish i'd be gay but im not.

>>15936691
I've had similar revelations after getting out of a (looong) rut and it is fantastic, however just be mindful not to rest on your laurels; there can come a time when one forgets how bad things can get, how much those good moments and habits really save one. Do take care of yourself. (we're all gonna make it, brah)

>>15941503
bail

I want to live and love and be among people and inspiring things. I can't help but feel this is poor timing on my part. Additionally: sobriety is atrocious. Man was not made to live threescore and ten without stepping sideways from time to time.

Why are so many anons addicted to porn/fapping?

>>15947783
>tfw fapped only once in past 5 weeks

My mother is a psychopathic, abusive, and toxic person. Over the past few years she has treated my father like human garbage, convincing him she doesn’t love him, threatening divorce for no reason, and calling him wicked names. After putting up with this for so long he started drinking, which only made her attacks more vicious and cruel. For some reason he tells me he still loves her, God bless him, because after witnessing what has happened in the past year I would have let her go through with her own threats of suicide or leaving just to not have my home life be a hellhole, which it has been even for me on the sidelines of all this. Every good habit I start gets challenged or downright annihilated by random bouts of screaming, my mood is tainted by dread, and my interpersonal relationships suffer because of this. Last night was the last straw when she called the police on my father when he did nothing wrong.

I have now decided to start looking people straight into their eyes even if they say absolutely nothing or don't return it to establish complete dominance over them, no more anxiety now you'll be the one thinking why you're such a little bitch for the rest of the day

>>15947969
they'll simply conclude that you're an autist desu

>>15947933
We have lived nothing but a charmed existence up until now, but even as a child I recall my mother losing her shit over the smallest things. There were good years and bad years... and really bad years. My father made an honest living and supported us and my mother was mostly a homemaker, until one day my father badly injured his leg and nervous system while working. For about a year we were so impoverished, relying on church handouts to eat. And then my father won the court case and we moved far away into a massive house in the forest. There I thought nothing bad could ever happen, but I was very wrong. We’ve been here for a decade now and my mother has made no friends while all other household members’ lives have flourished socially. As time went on, the bouts of extreme anger became more frequent. Now we are at the point where this beautiful land and house, a place I had hoped to one day raise or bring my children, is going to be sold off to a stranger because my mother hates my father, the man who did nothing but try to please her. Maybe it was because her father abandoned her. Maybe it’s the antidepressants she takes. Maybe a massive culmination of things that destroyed her ability to control her emotions. I don’t know. My brother and I will be moving out together in a month, I hope the house doesn’t sell until then.

>>15948012
Too late for that

>>15948022
they'll think you're more autistic than they did before

>>15947933
>>15948015

This isn’t fiction, is it?

>>15948040
Better than the alternative

>>15948114
How so?

>>15933012
perhaps drastic situations require drastic actions

>>15948080
No.

One is sometimes at odds with oneself about the merits of different people. Everyone has his own excellence and at the same time his own shortcomings. We like his simplicity and accuracy and impartiality, which makes him go in a certain direction, to which he devoted himself. The moments of his life follow each other continuously and easily, everything has its place and its time with him; nothing fluctuates, nothing disturbs, and because he remains with the ordinary, he is rarely exposed to great effort and great doubt. Certain, clear, always the same and appropriate to the place and moment, and completely in the present, he is never inconvenient for us, if we are not too tense and high-minded, he leaves us as we are, we easily get along with him; he does not exactly take us much further, nor does he really interest us deeply; But we do not always want this, and especially under violent shocks we have no real need for the time being, than such an approach, such an object, in which we find ourselves most easily in balance, in peace and clarity.

>>15933000
Checked
>>15933012
Awaken disgust.

Cotton dressing gown and wool socks after being scrubbed clean with soap. Remember this; it is a good thing.

My latest addiction is korean dramas. Anything to try and avoid reality desu.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7x8ab8o3Ew

I would give up fapping but I'm reclusive and fapping to cunny makes me feel alive and happy like nothing else. I will miss those cuties so much if I give them up. Plus there's no hope of getting a cunny gf IRL so I'll just be condemning myself to loneliness without respite...

>text analysis was my nightmare in highschool because i didnt understand what the question wants
>start reading
>barely understand it
my verbal iq is probably 60. im thinking about getting meds which could help with focus

Mattress surrounded by noodle boxes
Light bulb hanging from the ceiling by a single cord
Big window but I don't see the sun. It's dark now
Laptop illuminating the wall blue white
Ashtray full of butts and head full of garbage
Keep the whisky flowing please
Out of ice seven drinks ago but it doesn't matter now
Mouth hanging off my face
Cigarette smoked to the filter
I'm looking for a slow death
Anyone know a place?
Or a person?
Maybe here will do just fine
Crackheads screaming in the alley
Fucking degenerates
Living from one hit to the next
I got the good life
Liquid oblivion
It's easy
Don't touch me cos I'm going places
It's clear as day why can't you see
I'm the luckiest man alive

>>15932987
I think humanity developed too quickly, we're too destructive, inefficient, and disorganized to be worth saving in the eyes of the universe. If there are aliens out there watching what we're doing I hope they know how to deal with bastards like us. If it all comes crashing down upon our heads I would imagine them eradicating what's left so that we don't destroy the rest of the earth.

>>15932987
Something was off since the early childhood when I developed balanitis in the age of probably 7 years old due to some sexually motivated fuckups I did to my foreskin.
I raped my mentally chalenged cousin when I was 11 years old, the year when 9/11 happened, or "the twins" which is literal translation we use in this country for that.

I went through the same relationship with three different girls already and just drunk around 5 glasses of wine, she went to sleep I am stuck here blasting hardstyle (oldschool) on my headphones feeling like I want to run away to semthing else, something special, new dopamine rush.

It was middle school, highschool, university, work, always irreplaceable experience, trying new drugs, new workouts, new porn.

what should I do with my life, I will never be content. I dont want to settle, I dont want to live 9-5 live, I have enought money in crypto to never even need to do that but I still trying to persuade myself and others of normalcy.

I feel like shit /lit/. Its never going away and I am here forever. I have no connection to ppl even tho I excel at my work.

Should I try my luck in another country? Whats there for me even. I think I have a sex problem. Jerking of to momcest cant be OK.

>>15947783
this and also where to cop that boxers

Race is a social construct, and only brainlets are unable to grasp that concept. Not disagree with it mind you, it's one thing to argue IQ scores or whatever. The issue is too many people don't understand what is meant by saying it's a construct, and think this is debunked by the fact that people can be observed to have different skin tones.

>>15949580
>what should I do with my life, I will never be content. I dont want to settle, I dont want to live 9-5 live
May as well become a pirate. Also more people jerk off to momcest than you might think

>>15935623
oh boy do I got a psychoanalyst for you

I'm so obsessed with the idea of acquiring a woman with large eyes, it's unhealthy and makes me paranoid that I won't

>>15948198
underrated post

Should I study philosophy? I know it doesn't pay but I just don't know what else to study. I think I want to make movies someday but film schools are usually not only expensive and kinda useless but they also require (((experience))).
If I fail as a writer, director or whatever else I want to be, I can just learn programming online and become a bugman as a plan b. I've heard lots of stories from people who learned programming for about a year and then landed a job as a web dev or whatever.
What should I go for?

>>15949888
Just do something STEM related that pays off. Getting good in these fields is very rewarding and makes you flexible. We have enough shitty movies already and a degree in philosophy is less worth than my toilet paper.
>programming
It's cool I do some myself. If you really want to get into Computer Science you will need to get used to a Unix based OS as the entire internet works with them. Just install Ubuntu or Debian as a start and learn about the bash shell. It's fun and gets directly into the matter. It will be the most powerful tool in your hands, even more powerful than programming itself.

>>15938882
>>15940834
I'm back and, while it wasn't expensive or anything, it sucked. The girl was good looking, but the room looked filthy, and I saw a big rat on the sidewalk before I got in.
She took the money and wrote something on a notebook, while I stood in the corner awkwardly. At last she put some music to play on YouTube on her phone and I could only think that she should have Spotify installed, since the ads would ruin the mood (they did get in the way).
Then we started and I couldn't get hard, in fact I did not get trully hard throughout the whole thing, since my dick was bending at times. I fucked her pussy mechanically and she started saying that my dick was too big and it was "hurting her uterus", that was intercalated with fake moaning and "fuck me/cum in my pussy".
At this point I was sure I wouldn't get to fuck her ass, because she was mentioning my size all the time, but I decided to extend my time because I thought I would cum. My dick probably got more flacid than it was already, and the condom fell.
At this point we gave up and she suggested me to just beat my meat looking at her pussy and asked me if I had ever cummed (yes I have). I almost came thinking about some text post I saw on reddit and RP scenarios, but alas I gave up. Put my briefs on, pants and we just talked for the remainder of time.
At some point we looked at the whore site together because she wanted me to ask another whore where she lived, since she was thinking about moving. I also showed her the whore I was thinking about hiring before (but couldn't because I don't have a car). She saw her pics spreading her ass and shit and said that herself would never do that, and that the other was was "too filthy/explicit"
At last she asked me for a ride to the gas station where she had left her car.

Not sure if it was the situation I was in, if I consume too much porn, if I grip my dick too hard or if she had a loose pussy. Overall, would not recommend. Wish I could have gotten the freaky anal prostitute at least.

>>15932987
Why are you reading this shit, anon?

I sincerely hope the likes of Jeff Bezos feel a constant creeping fear whenever they venture out alone. I hope their entire vision of their possibilities are confined by the idea that the masses are ready to rip them apart like a swarm of rabid wolves. I like to think he doesn't feel safe to go anywhere without a detachment of Iraqi war veterans a number of whom have half a mind to kidnap him and demand stratospheric ransoms. How is it that Bezos avoid the piraña-like attentions of the paparazzi? It could be that he is so rich that he flies his personal jets from one compound to another, eying the rest of the world with contemptuous scorn. But it must be that he is feeling the hurt of a cursed King Midas, never able to casually walk down a street without looking over his shoulder.

>>15949960
>that pays off
as if

>>15950005
Power comes with a lot of responsibility.
The taller you stand the higher you fall.
Cool post. I liked it.

>>15950045
It really does if you don't live in the US.

>>15949494
I've honestly had fantasies lately that aliens would come down and save us from ourselves, That they would give all Americans desperately needed therapy that is more than just a vessel for shoving SSRIs down our throat, they would restructure our education system in such a way that would necessitate critical thinking and discouse. I want this more than anything really.

discuss this passage

Haven’t spoken to another human being in nearly six days
Feel like I’m dying

It is incredibly frustrating dealing with mainstream conservatives. My cousin gets his political knowledge from facebook posts and infowars, so every time I talk to him its an exercise in frustration. Its not like I'm some onions sipping liberal either, I'm further right than he is, but good lord with these people representing us in the mainstream its no wonder people think the right is retarded.

I'm 32 and no one wants to fucking hire me in this goddamn shithole country.

I think the local food place may have blocked my home phone because I never tip. Never do. I used my cellphone and they didn't say anything. She said she had to check something and came back sounding angry.

>>15950215
which country

im trying to learn how to invest on robinhood and its very confusing. im also wanting to become a teacher so im reading books by Frank McCourt and John Gatto. im excited for Gatto more because it seems like he will oppose the negative Jewish influence in the education system, indirectly of course.

>>15945817
make as much money as possible. Donate it all. Volunteer at hospitals and soup kitchens. You do not exist anymore. Live solely for others

My online waifu spurns my advances when I send her anonymous curious cat messages describing my pining emotions

>>15950295
you first

>>15950194
I feel you, when I go back to work and have to start talking again my voice box is going to be atrophied to hell

>>15950308
his life path isnt the same as yours retard. nobody is the same or equal

>>15950310
It reaches a point where even hearing my own voice out loud is really uncomfortable. The sound becomes very unfamiliar and I can’t regulate the volume very well. Mumbling all the time.

>>15950288
brazil

>>15950046
Thanks bro dog. Honestly I'm not a mindless hater of these ogliarchs. Jeff Bezos is a competent individual and perhaps one of the greatest businessmen in history. What I stand in opposition to is their predatory, cynical disregard for the country which provided for them to obtain such obscene wealth. This points to a critical flaw of American capitalism which is now coming due. Jeff Bezos in particular shows a scorn for philanthropy. I'm not saying he didn't create something of value. But he could sit on his ass now and do precisely nothing and make billions. There is a renegade logic to capital gains which I honestly believe is driving this country toward bloody conflict. Support of causes such as BLM are just cynical diversions, and it breaks my spirit to learn that the majority of leftists are completely beholden to these corporate oligarchs.

Jeff Bezos and his like make more than the average suffering, struggling American family does in a year in a matter of seconds. Yet these struggling families are who keep the basic machinery of civilization of running. Why should they have to put up with unaffordable healthcare and education? Without being confronted with the objective truth that we live in an oppressive system that is structurally designed to oppose the working class?
And before you occuse me I know first hand what is going on, being working class myself and self-educated. The impossible exception which the system is striving to extinguish.

>>15933220
YELLOW TAPE AROUND HIS BODY

>>15950427
If you're so mad about being working class, why don't you go to school and get a real job.

>>15950427
>he could sit on his ass now and do precisely nothing and make billions.

Working class people always assume that entrepreneurs are as lazy and greedy as they are.

If you think Bezos is such an amazing manager, buy some Amazon stock and take the ride

>listen to the same 6-7 songs on repeat
>cycle between the same 5-6 threads on 4channel
yup, it's a pretty good friday night so far

>>15949386
I feel that, anon.

Are violent videogames a sin? I'm looking for /lit/ answers, I trust you guys are very smart

I want to frame this face.

>>15950537
which games?

>>15949888
I studied engineering, but now I wish I studied literature. of course, if I had, I think I would say the opposite. but if you are confident in your plan b, I would suggest you pursue philosophy.

>>15950574
GTA V, if I made a game like this would I be responsible for everyone who plays it and sins through it?

>>15950537
They're not a sin.
>I trust you guys are very smart
why lol

>>15950598
I trust you guys, you are very smart*
Because your answers in threads here are usually sophisticated compared to other threads where they're just shitposting. You guys are more genuine too.

>>15950427
Atleast you got a job, unlike me.

>>15950653
It's all posturing, most people here are pretty stupid and don't actually read that much. Few years ago things were a bit different, but even then.

>>15950589
sin is a meme

>>15950679
>>15950703
Why would violent videogames not be a sin? Harry potter added to societal decay but everyone laughed off the Christian moms trying to stop it. I dont want to contribute to societal decay

>>15950732
>Why would violent videogames not be a sin
Why would they?
>Harry potter added to societal decay but everyone laughed off the Christian moms trying to stop it.
In what way? Because people just read YA and not classic literature? I don't think you can pin the whole gender revolution thing on it, and I think the idea that people would be getting into satanic/occult shit was a canard. As an aside which may not mean anything to you, the most devout person I know is this guy who's read the bible in both hebrew and greek, he's a pastor for a small congregation where they have exorcisms and speak in tongues, and he's a huge harry potter fan.

>>15950427
>Support of causes such as BLM are just cynical diversions
this is the effect of the liberal machine, to turn causes like this into toothless messaging that effects no change besides more black vulture capitalists and war criminals. but the causes themselves are not the problem. for any real change there must be solidarity between the working peoples. why would one fight the ruling class if you will remain a part of the subservient class? even only as a tool, these movements as they began are important to battle the institution of police, who are fundamentally servants of capital

>>15950732
>Harry Potter
>societal decay
That's just christian moms being paranoid about pagan concepts like witches and mythological creatures like griffins and dragons. There are many worse books out there that some shitty regurgitation of pagan concepts couldn't compare to. A videogame like GTA V, yea', that's more in the direction of societal decay.

>>15950769
It acted as a launchpad for social justice "trump is Voldemort we have to defeat him!!!", "homophobes are like slytherin" (cant come up with better examples, but you get the gist of it). I agree that it cant be pinned for the whole gender revolution but I believe it helped contribute to it. The book supports witchcraft on the surface so my real question is does supporting sin count as a sin? Does playing a game that supports murder count as a sin? Does this support societal decay?

>>15950782
I know theres way worse books out there but Harry Potter still is evil. The amount it contributes is less than others but it still contributes.

Another question I have, is it morally wrong to be an accountant for a monetary system which supports sin?

>>15950857
I think you're giving the books too much credit desu. And I don't see it as supporting sin because it features magic. On that note, is The Lord of the Rings sinful?

>>15950906
He's going to say it's not because it was written by a catholic.

>>15950906
I would say yes. Are you Christian? If so which denomination?

>>15950960
What about chronicles of narnia? Does children reading that lead them to sin?

>>15950960
cringe, please leave my board

>>15950960
I'm a messianic jew

>>15950977
I would say no, but I could be wrong. Is glorifying sin a sin itself?

>>15951017
What is the difference? What makes chronicles of narnia not sinful but lord of the rings sinful?

>>15949960
that's kind of what I was thinking too, but then I realized that my entire social life would be surrounded by bugmen. I've been there before and it's not just a meme, it's the reality. I don't wanna end up a sad sack of consumerist shit who looks at bad screen at work in order to look at good screen at home. I don't want the job and the bugman lifestyle to overcome me.
I'm 20 y/o with literally no friends and I want that to change. I think most of my personal problems stem from that issue, so I think I'd personally be better off in a somewhat intellectual environment that panders to my interest, where I can find like-minded people.
I also think that If I happen to grow up a lonely man with no friends or spouse, I can at least find purpose in the creation of arts, be it movies, lit, music or whatever. So being a overstressed and lonely bugman would probably be the worst considerable outcome, even if I make a decent living.
>>15950579
>I studied engineering, but now I wish I studied literature
why? Are you not successful as an engineer? What do you do and how do you like it?

>>15951030
I see your point, there isnt a huge difference; I just want to make a game like GTA but I dont want God to punish me. That's why I'm looking for rationale and justification.

Meditating anon here and I think I fell into the trap of expecting something during the meditation and not letting it come on its own. Going to try to not have expectations when I meditate tonight but it's difficult. I want to see the stuff I saw again. It was really interesting an DC weird.

>>15951129
>Meditating anon here
who

>>15951173
meditating anon, that's who; he literally just said so

my ideals eclipse taking a chance at happiness

I decided to start writing porn, either:
>Jewish PAWG BBC Cuckold
or
>Blonde Bombshell and E-Thot BBC Cuckold
Which one, bros?

>>15951386
For me, it's ebony amazon catholic bwc

Vehicles not of this earth

>>15951386
I have a better one.
>Lonely incel fights off other incels in giving twitch thot highest donation for months, then rages when twitch thot forgets her camera on when her BBC boyfriend walks in and fucks her.

Fuck why won't she get out of my head I'm trying to sleep she was in my dreams last night please leave me be, make it clear if you don't want me in your life and hopefully the fog will be lifted

>>15951444
I already did a variation of that one, futa D.Va get's sucked off by Uraraka while her stream is running before impregnating her, all while the stream is running because she forgot to turn it off.

>>15951434
Look at its robotic mouth and feet and skin. The more precise our technology, the more technological are the things which we discover with it.

>>15932987
I left my previous job because I said I hated it, but I always feel that I know I had no successful future in it. I could not flourish at that job so I needed to leave. I have now gotten myself into a field that may be even harder, though a completely different skill-set is required. Will I be able to do this, or should I have stayed at the other job that I hated? I want to have success but I feel that my existence has already proven that that will never happen. I don't believe I will suddenly attain drive or passion that is required when I have never had it before. I am hoping to get a mentor who will essentially force me into a level of success I desire, because I don't see a possibility of me putting in the effort otherwise.

>>15951406
I hate this board trying to force catholicism into every fucking nook and cranny no matter if it fits

>>15951618
I empathize with you, anon. Shame that I have no solution either. I just want to somehow acquire enough money to fuck off into the forest with my niggas, eat mushrooms, grow plants, get fucking massive, absorb knowledge, raise blonde children, and ascend.

>>15932987
my tummy hurts from all these gummy bears...

A lot of people wish for war- whether one based on nationality, race or class- and its honestly the saddest thing ever. War is hell and kids are stupid for wishing it. I've lived with people who have become so ideologically warped they lost the ability to perceive individuals and instead see the whole world as conflict between their group identities. And that leads to something ugly and terrifying.

Man I'm thinking some really messed up shit right now, like if people could read my thoughts they'd probably run away screaming. Some people underestimate what I'm capable of, they just don't know. Then again, they underestimate just how patient I am. Sometimes I think I could really save humanity, other times I think I just might show them the dark grim truth that they're weak, the bottom of the food chain, how easily they can be destroyed. But I think it's better they find out for themselves, humans out there killing themselves off instead of helping one another...while I sit behind a rainy window looking on with a knowing smile...I warned them. But they're just too vain to listen. And I sit and wait for them to come to me in revenge, revenge on their once-friend who they turned their backs on, their prophet, their stoic... they don't want to mess with me, they better watch their backs.

>>15945817
The noxious fumes of endless dissatisfaction.

>>15948080
It’s pasta, I’ve seen it a few times

I shouldn't have jacked off.

>>15952802
My dad is crying because his new wife's children called him a drunkard. I do feel bad for him sometimes. His IQ can't be higher than 80. He should never have been born. Eugenics aims for a healthy society. We all wamt what is best.

>>15951434
>>15951569
Seriously.

If I were born in the past centuries I guarantee you all I would have killed my parents long ago and gone on to become a highwayman like Sawney Bean or Clyde Barrow. They would have made so many great movies about me, I'm sure.

>>15950205
Just don’t talk about politics.

>>15952802
So don’t jack off next time.

>>15950205
I still remember being a kid in the scouts and dealing with fucking young earth creationists that loved Glenn Beck. The Eatth isn't fucking 6,000 years old, you compllete fucking morons.

Not exactly writing, but I'm having some problems with my idea.
>mc is some virgin loser highschooler
>female knight from magic world comes to seek the holy grail to save her kingdom
>mc helps female knight
>they beat the villains
>female knight promises that she will come back and grant mc's wish
>female knight saves kingdom through the grail, but its energy is depleted and she has to wait
>female knight settles down and has children
>a century or so passes in magic world, grail is filled
>due to the connection to the grail female knight still looks young, but her husband and children have passed away (grandchildren and the like are alive)
>female knight returns to mc's world, mc's world time is just 100 days
>female knight asks what's mc wish is
>mc replies that he doesn't need any wish and confesses that he loves her
>female knight doesn't know how to respond and blurts out that she's married
>mc is devastated
>female knight says that he would find another woman who loves him, and that the grail can grant him any wish
>mc says that what's the point when he can't have her love as he slaps the grail away
>female knight doesn't know what to do since she has to repay her debt
>mc goes to sleep
>next day female knight tells him that she would do anything for him, even his sex slave or maid
>mc says that is he so much of a piece of shit that he would make her his sex slave
>female knight doesn't answer
>mc continues to study and enters college, female knight stays at his house to take care of him but he barely acknowledges her
>female knight makes herself old so people would think that she's his mom or aunt
>years pass, mc has his own company and gf, but one day he is betrayed by gf and loses his company
>mc becomes a drunkard and stops giving shit about his life
>mc tells female knight to give him the grail so he could be the richest person in the world
>5 years pass, mc parties hard everyday and doesn't notice that his wealth has been stolen from him
>mc is poor again and truly friendless, he realizes that only female knight is still with him
>mc stops being trash and gets a job again
>a year passes, he confesses his love for female knight again
>female knight says no, but she would stay by his side til the end
>mc stays single/celibacy the rest of his life
>timeskip, female knight stands in front of mc's grave before returning to magic world
Is is realistic? I mean magic and shit but is it realistic in a sense that it could happen? Or it's too dramatic for the sake of drama?

>>15932987
I feel like more of a sugar baby than a simp desu. I don't think I'd willingly pay people money for their attention. The last person I dated I got a lot more in terms of life knowledge and fun than for what I put into the relationship, which was basically unconditional support

Damn, I just got hella sleepy all the sudden. As soon as I eat dinner, I'm going to bed and listening to audiobooks.

The sun is going down in Portland. I hope tonight's riot pops off soon before I hit the hay.

>>15953030
Mick sounds like Timmy from the Fairly Odd Parents

The gym receptionist is super cute

>>15953470
One time a qt gym receptionist bought me an overpriced Redbull from the gym refrigerator. Think she wanted the dee?

I'm obsessed with the so-called "deaths of despair" in the news. An actor or k-pop singer will commit suicide. Every time a semi-famous person dies, I assume it's another such case. I remember when I was a teenager I never understand why a rich man would kill himself. Now I'm an adult and not rich, but I have a lot of cash saved, something like 160k, not counting stocks, just cash. But I understand why even a rich person would do it. It's just the dread. The resemblance of one day to another and the impossibility of imagining how another day would be different than the previous one. The money does not offer an escape from this thinking because you bring it with you wherever you are. You can't just leave those thoughts at home while you go out and have a good time.

>>15953653
Deaths of despair are not typically associated with celebrities or well-known figures. They represent the sharp increase in deaths from alcohol, drugs, and suicide in mostly rural, uneducated areas that used to be thriving. It's more a phenomena amount "nobodies" than famous people. They're gaining a lot of traction because they
re skyrocketing 20+% in the US (in one state alone, there was a 50% increase in one year) are skyrocketing in the US and now the UK as well. There are lots of interesting papers and articles to peruse if you're interested, but I don't think semi-famous people's deaths are generally considered deaths of despair. I find them fascinating too, in a morbid sense that they show the social and mental decline of Western communities.

Just thinking how I'm not cut out for society because I think I'm just naturally antisocial or something. I like talking to people on 4chan but anything else I just can't stand. I don't get along with coworkers or bosses and what business would want to hire an antisocial person? I have to pretend for the rest of my life to like people I can't stand being around just so I can live? I wish there was some kind of job where I don't have a boss, coworkers, or customers to put up with

>>15951173
The anon who has been reporting on my transcendental meditation attempts. Session I did twenty minutes ago did nothing discernible. Still trying to be in the moment and stop my thoughts from racing. It doesn't really work. My inner voice repeating the mantra is just background noise for another inner voice. I was not aware I could have multiple ones as I've never even given it any thought. Not multiple personalities or anything.

Thinking about going back to being a vegetarian. I think I felt better during my time as one. Maybe pescatarian again.

I can't wait for autumn and winter
I never enjoy the summer months
Too much sun
Too much heat
I want cold and dark
Leaves falling off the trees
Halloween
Bonfire smoke
Finally warm when you're home
Open fire Good book
Frost
Crunchy leaves
The chill of the wind
Casserole stewing on the stove
Short days Long nights
Staying inside
Safe from the elements
Cup of tea
Curled up in bed
Darkness
I can't wait!

>>15953811
Just ask questions. People love talking about themselfs. It's hard to think of questions to ask but the more you do it the better you get at it. But it'll help the conversation flow, and if it does not flow it's generally them not knowing how to respond to questions.
Of the conversation turns on yourself, talk about it and then try ask about them or what they think etc etc.
Even practicing this on randoms really helps. Like if you want to ask someone a question who's just some random, go up to them and ask. Some people reject you but so many people will chat to you.
It takes so much courage though. If you fuck up they are randoms and that's that, they will forget.

Plato says "know thyself", but I propose "know theyself". Does the self know itself better than an outside observer? In order for the self to know itself it must have transendental knowledge of itself, become as close to an outside observer, but avoid biases or self-deception. An outside observer is already that. Thus to "know thyself" is actually to "know theyself", or to know others and others to know you.

thinking about how to impress a gril without being a socialite queer
maybe I take her rafting

A guy I know keeps getting stumbling drunk at odd times and I'm concerned for him because it looks like he drinks alone. We're not really good friends but I want to help him out. What would you do in this situation?

>>15954831
I was that guy and I would have been happy if someone like you had talked to me but I know other drinks who would take something like that badly maybe

Alcoholism is a mire. For the alcoholic and sadly often for others around them too. You're a good person for wanting to help but be a little cautious in your approach, and don't be mad if he's too trapped in it to accept help. My two cents anyway.

>Trying to cut back on pornography use
>Am a coomer that needs to jerk off at least twice a day (rarely ever more then 3 times though)
>Decide to ease myself into it.
>Make a deal with myself to only jerk off to porn once a day. Can jerk off more than that, but am not allowed to look at pornography more than once.
>Get desperately horny at the end of a very stressful day. My imagination isn't cutting it, but don't want to break my rule. End up jerking off to acquaintances I know through their social media pictures.
>feel absolutely disguised with myself and stop halfway through.
>Decide porn is comparatively less degenerate and break the rule and look at porn for the 2nd time that day.
>The next day my internet did not work no matter what I did to try to fix it. My modem and router were working perfectly fine, but I couldn't connect to the internet on any of my devices. It's been 2 days and its still not working.

Could this be a paranormal influence? Like is God or an angel punishing me for breaking the deal I made with my self? Has something similar happened to anyone else?

>>15954849
At the very least it's an unintentional blessing

Why not try going once a day before bed for a while?

I'm going to invite her to watch the sunset with me and wake up with a girlfriend on Monday

>>15954840
Thanks bro. Next time I see him getting smashed I'll have a drink and a word with him

>>15954871
At this point the bigger issue is not having Wifi. Given the lockdown situation, most of my work related stuff is online. So this is interfering with my work, which is the real punishment. Now I've turned into one of those hipsters who goes to a cafe to use their wifi.

I cant escape victim mentality. I feel like theres nothing i can do about it.

>>15954849
This is without doubt a sign and should not go unheeded. There must be a change. Consult the oracle.

>>15954801
I'm not a girl but could you take me rafting? Pretty please

>>15955251
I’m bad with grils so yes if she rejects me (she won’t god wills it)

The only reason I visit this place is because I stumble upon nice book recommendations from time to time. I re-discovered the Better Than Food YouTube channel, and my drive to come to /lit/ is pretty much dead.

The same way the criterion YouTube channel can make /tv/ obsolete. Or theneedledrop /mu/.

So the only reason 4chan exists is if you want someone to yell at you for no reason in particular.

>>15955351
THEN FUCK OFF YOU CUNT

no, seriously, save yourself if you can

>>15936507
You should have put your tattoo in cons and dropped the last part of being bad at starting conversations. Don't beg for sympathy, have some self-respect anon.