/lit/ - Literature

This is me working out the ideas for the story and MC's characteristics

post (2/3)

This is just another post where I bring up my concerns about worldbuilding.

post (3/3)

That's all, I really hope you guys can help me out here, writing and stories aren't my strong suite. I'm just an artist.

If you take the time to give me some really advice, you can include something you'd like drawn and I'll draw it for you :)

I advice against using Manga Temple for dialogs. It looks like crap.

When's the deadline for this?

In I am Legend, they gave Will Smith a dog, because it would look weird for him to talk to himself. Maybe you could give your mc a snow bunny or something equally cute and girly

Give your mc a ghost to talk to

You could have the main character try really really hard to fix her ship but everything goes wrong, and she resigns herself to being a Yoda hermit on a lonely planet. She is sad because she always wanted to be a mother, wife. Then a few years later, a man and some other npcs also crash lands on the planet. He and his team not a good mechanics, but she is, and she can help them get off the planet. But the rocket is unstable, even with all her ability, there's only a 20% chance they'll make it to another planet and get help. Than she has an idea. She could pretend that the ship is unfixable, and they'd be stranded too, and she could marry and have kids with him

>>15941804
You must first start with the greeks.

>>15941804
It doesn't sound like a shonen. Even if you fill up half of the stuff with humour. Compare your idea to the key works like the previous big tree, all of which had friendship as a huge theme and huge casts. Plus given how sexist Japanese culture is, a shonen with the main and only protagonist being a female is unlikely to work for the core audience.

Aside of that...
well, let's start with "it's all just muh opinion and not meant as an attack, do with it what you want"

>the name
Is kinda dull. I can't imagine seeing it and going YE, I WANT TO CHECK IT OUT.
>a girl waking up on a desolate ice planet and finding out her copilot is dead and her ship is totally destroyed
There is some conflict here obviously but I don't see what choices she has to make to make me care. If she's the only character, survival against nature and the likes alone ... is going to be tricky to make interesting for 50 pages.
>The dialogue will be mainly her talking to herself.
Functional enough but if she is the sole focus, she has to be interesting to keep attention on her and her problems for 50 pages.
>(Should i include another character?)
If you want any hopes of making it shonen ... yeah. Unless you could balance out the lack of characters with flashbacks or her imagination going cray.
>about having the planet be a giant living organism. Perhaps the MC decides to stay on the planet and protect it?
Are "alright" options but nothing too exciting.
>>15941815
Writing a story like that is a big yikes for me ... but hey, it works for most Hollywood productions.
>>15941828
>explaining crash
If there is a tense situation beyond "shit just crapped up", explaining it can help. I bet most readers will be curious at some point, so a non boring reason wouldn't hurt for sure.
>problems
Very given but also generic stuff. Why would I care?
>character
Yeah, none of it sounds too interesting. Add your own details and unique stuff instead of going by quaker science, man. World building is the least of your issues.

Your art is qt enuff though.

>>15942120
kek

What if it turns out that the reason she crashed into the ice planet is because of science stuff blah blah, but she slowly finds out that there ice planet is actually EARTH, but millions of years in the future

>>15942597
OR it's earth in the ice age, and she can't get back into present time, she meets wooly mammoths and shiet

>>15942003

Hmm ok.

>>15942243

Not offended in the slightest, all legitimate critiques.

Hmm... many good ideas.
I like what you're getting at overall,
>Why would I care?
is probably eating at me the most. I'll brainstorm some and come back to you. Honestly I was hoping the art would carry it.

>Add your own details and unique stuff

Pic related is some character sheets I made today.

>>15942042

September 1st
At this rate I have to make two pages every day.

>>15942103
>>15942597
>>15942054
>>15942042

All good ideas thanks!

>>15942243

Also ultimately I'm just making a story and entering the contest. I'm not trying to win or really appeal to the Japs because I think when I work from my heart, the story that comes out isn't very shonen. Still will consider what you said though.

>>15942669
>Honestly I was hoping the art would carry it.
Seems a bit too optimistic. Though again, only can talk from my perspective and at least I haven't encountered a story which carried my attention with art alone. Besides, thinking of stories like OPM, it seems generally to go the other way around, when even shit-tier art doesn't kill a compelling story.
>Pic related is some character sheets I made today.
The equipment has some "old-school sci-fi" vibe IMO, maybe you could get some inspiration reading about the earlier astronauts and the problems they encountered. Although a lot of the stuff goes rather into horror direction.

And aside of the weapon it generally feels more like someone for an explorer … maybe she went out to explore to planet since the water supplies on her planet are dwindling. And then if you go with "living planet" stuff, going back and telling her place about it might risk the wellbeing of a planet since it needs water too.

If you can make the fauna quirky and cute enough, the end decision could be whether to help her planet in need or risk the wellbeing of the ice world. Pretty generic but at least some sort of choice to make.

Besides, if she's introverted enough, going on the mission helping her planet could be motivated by the chance to fuck off from there.

Establishing the mission at start with enough feelz could do the job to keep the reader rooting for her.
>I think when I work from my heart, the story that comes out isn't very shonen
Well, one can always adjust details, depending how much you value telling the exact story you want vs adopting to target audience. Though guess it's more of a question when you're done with the basics.

I know that this advice isn’t terribly specific, but have you read Bakuman.? I think that is a decent place to start with understanding industry tastes

>>15941804
I like your idea anon. I suggest you to not include another character, I think it could be very interesting to watch loniless in an in-explored planet. But, to make it dynamic and not just a contemplative experience, I suggest you to make this girl to talk with the objects, and to give each of these planet's objects a character. Each object could represent an aspect of the whole girl's character.

The idea of the planet as a live being it's very attractive to me.

>>15941815
I suggest you to forget about all these schemes, at least for the character part. This girl is an aspect of your own character. Delve on yourself to know how this girl will act. What aspect of you do you want this girl to be?

>>15941828
I strongly suggest you to not use a narrator. Let your girl show us what's is going on and, little by little, by quick flashbacks... or even better, by just the drawing of your manga, we can know what happened and how the girl arrived to that planet.

>>15941804
Anothe anon told you the name is not that good. I kinda agree... it doesn't sound that interesting... I think that name fits with the name of the ship or the name of the planet... but maybe that's not that interesting. Why that name? It is vital to the story? It will have a powerful meaning after we end your manga? If not, I suggest you to change it.

>>15942597
Too much similar to Planet of the Apes in my opinion... but hey, every idea could work with passion and dedication.

>>15942690
Don't try to appeal the Japs. Do a story that appeals to you and the people you care for. If you're honest and precise enough, you will appeal the Japs.

>>15943256
THIS. I don't know if you could have the time to read it (READ it, the anime sucks), but from volume 1 to 11 is shows you very good esencial stuff not only for manga, but fiction in general.

>>15943504
Generally I'd agree with it but if the contest is specifically for shonen stuff, it's not that simple. You could write the best romance story ever, if you send it out to a magazine which only publishes horror … it's unlikely to work.

A last advice. Use and understand manga to tell the story you want to tell, not to appeal to some public. Your story will be interesting if it is interesting to you.

This may help you, from John Kricfalusi blog.

Writing For Character:
https://johnkstuff.blogspot.com/2011/02/writing-for-character-rather-than.html?m=1

Dialogue Wisdom:
https://johnkstuff.blogspot.com/2011/03/dialogue-wisdom.html?m=1

The Story Process Step by Step:
https://johnkstuff.blogspot.com/2012/06/story-process-step-by-step.html?m=1

Writing for cartoons:
https://johnkstuff.blogspot.com/2007/05/writing-for-cartoons-stimpys-invention.html?m=1

Point of View, Ideas, Sincerity:
https://johnkstuff.blogspot.com/2007/03/writing-for-cartoons-3-story-1.html?m=1

Skills you need:
https://johnkstuff.blogspot.com/2007/03/writing-for-cartoons-2-skills-you-need.html?m=1

fuck I can't write or draw

>>15943561
Like they say in Bakuman: "A manga should be interesting...". I believe even a love story could work on Shonen Jump if it is interesting enough. Look at Act-Age, a current manga about acting that is popular because is interesting.

>>15943682
Try dance or music. Anyway, you have to practice a lot to master anything, be art, sport or science.

>>15941804
This thread is a little premature, ain't it? You don't have a story yet. Someone wakes up on a planet that is alive. That's fine, but ... it's not a story.

My stories come from short moments, and those moments come from my imagination or dreams, and they are things that I see or feel so vividly that I'm like "Yo, I gotta have this in my story!" They are things that I want to capture in writing and allow other people to experience.

It seems like you kind of have your own moment: the reveal of the planet being alive. Why is that such a moment (or climax worthy) to you? Figure that out and build a story to complement or amplify the specific underlying themes of a moment like that.

>>15943700
No clue about Act-Age, but take something Bakuman itself or Shokugeki no Soma, they might be not typical topics but the characters and conflicts are still very much in Shonen style; which is basically coming of age in context of a goal, challenging opponents/rivals ... and the friends we make on the way.

I just don't see any love story getting a good enough reaction from the core audience unless there is some shonen twist to push the love stuff to a sideplot, which wouldn't make it a pure love story anymore. "A story should be interesting" seems more applicable in context of overall market.

>>15943705
>or science.
>be sceicne
>read gay ass text book
>write down anything you think will be on the test
>recall it
nigger

>>15943682
It's never too late to start, faggot. Do it.

>>15943819
That's enough for acing tests and talking to people who are easy to impress, not actually DOING research.

Maybe the manga could end with
> 10 years later
> scientists look at satellite pictures of planet
> notice that the forests/land/oceans spell out HELP
> go to investigate
> mc has completed her coming of age somehow, she says, yes, earlier I had forced the planet to write HELP
> but we are one now, me and the planet

>>15943821
where/how do I learn?
>>15943839
>DOING research.
>*white person reaction face*

>>15943937
>where/how do I learn?
I'd start by doing, you're going to run into problems obviously and then can look for solution of specific problems instead of going at it like it's some course to learn.

For writing ... you probably have SOME sort of ideas or stuff you want to explore, just write the shit down. Add more details or connect different ideas. Do it in notepad or otherwise simplistic text editor so you won't get distracted by irrelevant stuff. THEN you can look up how scenes or plots work once yours died before you even got to the climax.

For drawing ... you probably have something you want to draw, say boobies. Try experimenting with the limited skills you already have, AND then you can check out tutorials. (Also tracing for ez mode getting into stuff)

thanks to everyone helping out so much, if anyone is interested in the progress of the comic i post on /ic/'s thread about the contest and you can reach me on my pixiv

pixiv dot me slash desgardes

bookmark it and check back in a month when i finish the comic : )

>>15944136
Thanks for the invitation, I will.

>>15941815
Finish you tic tac toe first, and then listen to this guy >>15943383
No (great) author ever went back to what they were taught in high school to make a scaffolding for their story. Even the whole "Hero's Journey" is incidental or "felt out'. In a way, "Bee yourself" and let the details happen naturally..
Do not attempt to shape your characters or even your story from what you believe is a void. Whether or not you are aware of it, what you write is always inextricably tied to your experience of the world.
Also, I know it has been said in the thread before, but add a non speaking (perhaps even not sentient) thing for your character to talk to herself through, just to make it feel natural for the reader. Then again, Hatchet worked without a Wilson.
I wish you all the best, and I am proud of you for actually working on something instead of wasting away on a Siberian calisthenics imageboard like the rest of us. Good luck!

>>15941804
>>15941815
My 2 cents:
Anime and manga are chock full of stories about witty protagonists who find a neat, clever way to overcome impossible odds, and conquer these bizarre scenarios. Kaiji/Akagi, every battle shonen, Dr. Stone, Attack on Titan, etc. BUT the moment the anime/manga is introspective, and about a character overcoming personal issues it gets lauded as an all-time great. Think Serial Experiments Lain, or Madoka Magica, or Welcome to the NHK, or Eva, or even Yu Yu Hakusho (which a lot of people say transcended villain-of-the-week shonen because of the mature way Yusuke confronts his character flaws throughout the story).

What I'm saying is that manga audiences are starved for intellectual stories, and just attempting it gets you heaps of praise. Maybe man v. nature is just going to get you lost in the crowd. My personal suggestion for your plot is to rip off Interstellar: She notices the planet has strong gravity, spends a few days surviving anddoing calculations, and discovers that for every minute on the surface, days are passing back home. Your girl (and her crew?) are forced to confront the stunning truth that should they even make it back home, they have nothing to return to.

>>15941804
>I still haven't thought of the big climax, but I'm ruminating

For the love of god, if a script is beyond you, at least write a summary, and plan it properly from start to finish before you start drawing. Otherwise you'll only up wasting your time and effort, guaranteed.

I have an idea for the big climax: When the main character gets rescued by people from her original planet, they can say, ok it's time to go home to your family. She'll reply, "This is my family." A bit like "No, Caesar is home" but instead of a family of apes, she makes frens with all the flora and fauna of the ice planet

>>15944695
> My personal suggestion for your plot is to rip off Interstellar: She notices the planet has strong gravity, spends a few days surviving anddoing calculations, and discovers that for every minute on the surface, days are passing back home. Your girl (and her crew?) are forced to confront the stunning truth that should they even make it back home, they have nothing to return to.

I like this. It's like the classic space relativity thing. 1 year traveling at light speed is 100 earth years, or whatever. Except instead of the "traveling at lightspeed" trope, overcoming the planet's massive gravity is what "uses up" earth years. This super gravity can also be what caused the crash in the first place

>>15944935
>>15944695
You want to fuck up those 12-year-olds, uh?

>>15944695

When I first read death note I was captivated by the whole "..but this isn't actually a worldwide broadcast" part

i know exactly what you mean.
I like your idea. Play up the science aspects and base it kinda offf interstellar. my dads a chemist actually, maybe he could help me out.

>>15944414
thanks, the main character and this whole thing is actually just a summation of my experience living in rural pennsylvania at 28, having finished college and basically having no ties to this place. I have no friends from college or high school and basically had to start fresh at an awkward age where I'm too old to date and too young to marry (let's not get into this)

Funny thing is... I really did sort of crash land here now that i think of it.

I came to visit my parents home in pennsylvania to from the university of texas , which was destined to be my alma mater at the time. I had plenty of friends and even a girl i thought was straight up the one and marriage material.

it would be one fateful spring break and i would never return to texas

so i got high on dxm and got in a fight with my brother who proceeded to shoot me point blank with an airsoft gun and caused me to bleed profusely. (he was acting out of self defense, i was being antagonistic and not letting him leave the house for some reason)

anyways this occurs 30 minutes before i was supposed to fly back. suddenly my parents just cancel everything and im now stuck in pennsylvania. i had to break up with my gf on the phone more or less and we tried to make it work long distance, but she would grow tired and moved on. (but not really, we joke to this day we're odysseus and penelope)

i drop that college, transfer colleges, am basically subject to years of dxm abuse versus my parents taking me to rehab and psych evals.

fast forward to today, the only thing thats kept me sane is posting on 4chan and talking to my ex gf who is very much a father figure to me in her advice. (she has her shit together, a new bf and a career now, but she claims that i'm still her true love)

I guess i could incorporate this all into the story by having the second character be on some tv screen on the "home planet" talking to the MC.

and maybe the MC could develop some drug problem from the local fauna and start stagnating on getting back home.... (not very shonen but i could play it down)

some sketches of the next page...

>>15944957
No childhood is complete without a traumatizing existential Vietnamese cartoon

always like how people get excited at these crossover threads

when I git gud I wanna get crits from both /ic/ and /lit/ on my VN project

>>15944971
If your mc is skyping or sending video messages to her ex bf, like an video small mail, (she doesn't have a good enough internet connection for streaming video, she has 56 kps), she can notice that every time she receives a message, v he's 10 years older. That's how she realizes that time is passing much faster outside her planet

>>15945009
*snail mail

>>15944971
Dimitri looks like a girl

>>15944971
>fuck.
Ditch the potty mouth, it adds nothing and feels juvenile. Just change it to "damn" or something.

>>15945137
Yeah, that character just crashed into who knows where, may freeze to death, transport may be irreparable, communication systems may be down, copilot is dead. Say something like, oh dear

Why manga? You clearly have limited knowledge of the genre and aren't Japanese, so why don't you just make a webcomic like everyone else?

It will get rejected/disqualified if shonen is a submission criteria. This plot is YA girls' territory(shoujo.) Whether you planned it to be or not, this setup is a coming of age allegory, and those kinds of stories land strongest with people of similar outlook and the same gender as the protag.

You should write it regardless of whether it fits some contest, of course, the contest doesn't matter. Just don't be surprised

>>>15942243
>sexist
No. It's just normal. Stop projecting our abnormal, manipulated standards on them using emotionally-loaded shutup words.

>>15945314
Not that anon, but once again, OP is trying to create a submission to a Jump contest, which is a fucking comic magazine for toddlers. If your setting can't stay family-friendly then it's not going to fucking work. Considering your demographic should be the first fucking thing you fucking do when writing professionally, instead of trying to force your Apocalypse Now remake down the judges' throats, just because you like it.

>>15944695
>Lain
Based
didn't read anything else except for this btw.
>>15944695
>>15944935
Ok I actually read it.
I think a cool concept too as a villain or maybe more of a relatable antagonist/antihero would be a crew mate who's lost all ration and is bent on becoming the "king of hell" (the foreign planet).
He should be really fucked up and forgotten his morals, like raping people and killing people.
It becomes cult like and the protagonist struggles with the idea of becoming corrupted like him, while he's like satan and trying to lure the MC.
and interesting twist would be that he's amassed followers who've made him a god, and in spite he desires to return to earth and kill everyone there, using ancient abandoned alien that corrupts him into having the abilities akin to a god, with the flaw of a human mind.
just saying.
just an example.
but intelligent and original (at least independently) stories are what people are staving for bro.
you don't have to be influenced by what I said, I'm just spit balling. I'll gladly read your manga when it's done

>>15945401
>It will get rejected/disqualified if shonen is a submission criteria.

Not OP, but this is one of the rules. It is however going to be judged by Shonen JUMP authors.
>Genre: Any genre. It must be a story completed in one issue that is original.

>>15942243
>Plus given how sexist Japanese culture is, a shonen with the main and only protagonist being a female is unlikely to work for the core audience.

The Promised Neverland's lead was a little girl. Worked fine in Jump. And before you get anal about "main and only". Hiro Mashiama's oneshot Starbiter Satsuki also stared a female lead.

>>15945401
That's a trivial problem. OP can simply swap the genders of the main character. He hasn't drawn very much, so all he has to do is remove the tits and eyelashes from his current drawings. He hasn't even written a story, so you can't say that his story only appears to females

Take a look at the entries for this manga contest. Not that it matters, because they could be junk entries, but someone has submitted a comic about a nigress ghost hunter, and someone else wrote a story about a mermaid who falls in love with a prince
https://medibang.com/contest/jumptezuka100th/entry/

>>15945439
Are you sure this is for kids? There are a bunch of entries with a girl with giant tits or half naked boys on the cover. It looks like Dragon Ball Z but more violent. That being said, I'm neither a manga reader nor Japanese

>>15945469
>There are a bunch of entries with a girl with giant tits or half naked boys on the cover

Americans may think nudity is worse than gore and bad language, but it's the other way round in Japan (and the rest of the world).

>>15945474
Can't comment about that, I don't know the medium or the culture. It's up to the judges and OP if his entry is appropriate

>>15944971
>and maybe the MC could develop some drug problem from the local fauna and start stagnating on getting back home.... (not very shonen but i could play it down)
this si kind of a cool idea bro.
what about a dirty deal type of thing?
their are parasitic plants that attach to their hosts, giving them boosts in physical strength, but then drugs from the plants totally fuck up their brain.

lol, this website is great. They're also running a contest for who can draw the best waifu or husbando. Nippons are great

What is your ideal type?

Tall, beautiful, good education, good income, good at cooking, muscular, etc. There is no limitation to the "ideal type".
Why not draw your ideal Husbando/Waifu?
Someone that is too perfect, they would never exist in reality... like anime characters! That's what we are looking for.
Make an original Husbando/Waifu and put in every unrealistic ideals you want them to have!

It's just a drawing, so be as unrealistic as you want!
Let's forget reality for a moment...


Draw your ideal Husbando/Waifu!
Write down the character description in the drawing or in the "description"!
If you made a Waifu, check the "My Ideal Waifu" and enter the contest!
If you made a Husbando, check the "My Ideal Husbando" and enter the contest!

https://medibang.com/contest/husbando_waifu/

Never mind, these entries are terrible. I don't understand. Even random drawfags do better pictures

https://medibang.com/contest/husbando_waifu/entry/1/

Well, let's be real. No one does 50 pages in a month alone. No one. Certainly not Mr "I haven't thought about the climax yet" OP. I recommend dramatic simplification of the story and cutting the page goal to the maximum of 20. Then you may have a slim chance at actually finishing something that's not pepes and stick figures.

>>15941804
>The ship's engines are totally obliterated
I think you're supposed to show this visually anon, not rely on characters talking to themselves to point it out kek. Not that other manga don't have this problem as well

>>15945514
Kek

>>15944971
If it's your story, then make it yours. Don't try to artificially create a story out of yours. You said your brother shot you? Wonderful! That's a story. Maybe there's one friendly, or sort of friendly creature on this whole planet, or maybe someone that she brought along? And then he betrays her. And write what resonates in you. You already said this is your story, so tell it.

>>15945514
Modern sonic fan characters

ahhhhhhhhh

>>15945589
nah bro it's got to be a tragic betrayal.
like the MC was being a wicked bitch
and in the end it establishes how alone they really are.

>>15944971
>This whole post
That's your material! Use it wisely...
I'll suggest you one more thing

>let's not get into this
You don't have to tell us, but you have to delve there! That's where the main theme of your story resides.

I suggest you to ask yourself these questions:
>What's my responsibility behind this event?
>Why my brother tried to shot me? Why I took the dxm in first place?
>Why I didn't return to Texas?

These questions are not a punishment for you, are a method to analyze the whole situation. Unconsiuoss is our worst enemy... you don't need a literal villain... I mean, this anthagonist in your story will be that aspect of your character that you don't like. Personally, and I may be wrong, I think you feel some kind of debt with your parents and your brother... that's why you, unconsciouss, decided to abandon your past life: "I have no right to be happy"... well, something like that will be that main idea behind your antagonist or your conflict.

And finally, after doing these questions and delve on the subject... forgive yourself. Only forgiving yourself you will overcome all this pain (pic. related). And after forgiving yourself, make a plan of what do you like or your life and do it! Maybe you can finish collegue or maybe you can dedicate the whole time to your art! It's up to you. This final resolution could be the final of your story.

OP, please don't make your girl a boy, as I read in some of your suggestions. Your manga can work with your protagonist as a girl, look at all Ghibli's movies or even Shonen Jump mangas like Act-Age.

You just have to make this girl real, as I've said before, basing the character on you. Try to remember why you decided to make your protagonist a girl in first place.

>>15945457
Based post

>>15941804
read this book, before making your "manga"

>>15947600

the fact that you´re making a manga with a comic book layout makes me think you have a lot to learn (and read) before venturing in this medium to begin with, look at the layout, manga doesn´t have this shit, pic related should be one of your templates

>>15947642
OP, this anon is right, but just keep drawing, learning and improving little by little. Even if this manga doesn't end as perfect as a professional work, it'll be a huge step for improvement.

you should also add more details in the panels, otherwise your drawing feels lifeless, like seeing a bad webcomic, pic related is better

>>15947600
Just... why?

>>15947755
those pictures look gross and disgusting. I like OP's kawaii style better

>>15947755
>Posting Naruto
>Not Berserk

I get your point, but detail is not good by itself. If you re going to do a detailed page, it must be in function of something. See how, in Hunter x Hunter, manages to good enough pages with incredible composition...

>>15947981
...and detail goes for pages like this.

Also:
*Togashi manages to do good enough pages...

Once again, great ideas and suggestions. Lot to take in.

>>15945137
yeah i was sleep deprived at the time, I will definitely change it.

So on changing the name, any suggestions ? Off the top of my head :

>STARCRASH
>CRASHING STAR

lame but idk

>>15942120
Based. If only there were more creators in low brow mediums who were raised on high brow literature.
What entertaining idiosyncrasies could be created.

>>15948029
The title must be the essence of your work. Think it with calm. It must be something powerful, but synthetic.

>>15948031

>pic related???

Why isn't this on /a/?
>check catalog
Oh never mind.

>>15948292
Be thankful it's not /d/ material

>>15948292
Would you go to an anime board for writing advice?

>>15948029
5, 4, 3, 2, 1, no blastoff

>>15948396
Especially advice from a board full of shonen worshipping adultbabies.

>>15948029
>>STARCRASH
>>CRASHING STAR
If I saw these titles in a store I would think absolutely nothing of it
Take the titles of popular manga/anime/films and think about why they were chosen and what makes them interesting

>>15941804
You're art style is too western.

>>15941804
>shonen
>girl mc
Very progressive of you, op. I am proud of you. Make sure to write extensively about her periods and female hygiene and do not forget visual illustrations.

>>15948526
What about mangas like Doraemon or Astro Boy? OP's round style looks similar to those

>>15948527
What are you so upset for? Did you know Yotsuba& and Azumanga Daioh are shonen too?

>>15948554
No, his style looks like tumblr anime

>>15948559
Hehe, I am not upset. The upset will be /a/nime fags when they hear about this and it's going to hilarious.

>>15948527
The irony of posting this on a website named after a girl MC of a shonen manga

>>15948469
>decide to open /a/ after not browsing for a few years
>8 One Piece threads
lol what the fuck happened

>>15948562
OP's art reminds me of the old-school anime.

https://youtu.be/4bG17OYs-GA
https://youtu.be/5tiCIE4Uhv4

>>15948527
I would agree with you if the girl were fat or tranny... but OP's reasons to made his main character a femmale have thematic implications. It's OP mission to discover why he chosed it that way.

>>15948682
Based Kiki

>>15944935
>>15944971
extension to the Interstellar ripoff idea:
the girl and her crew/whatever work tirelessly to make it back home, this first part of the story could be your Doctor Stone-ish section where you flex your creative muscles and make your characters look ingenious
the subtext of this section is how liberated your characters feel, out there in the lawless wilds
but WHEN THEY'RE ACTUALLY ON THE SHIP BACK, is when her/her crewmate puts 2 and 2 together and realizes that her years-long struggle to get the ship running again was millennia back on Earth.
When she's back on Earth, nobody even speaks her language anymore. She becomes a curiosity a primitive woman who communicates in "prehistoric" clicks and groans. She's stunted and short by comparison, not as evolved as these humans from the future. They seize her and keep her in a zoo, treating her like we'd treat a monkey/caveman who just materialized in Manhattan.

idk I'm just spitballing ideas, maybe you'll get some inspiration

>>15948823
I think it might be cooler if the main character steadily realizes that time had run out as she's repairing the spaceship. Maybe through delayed messages, she watches her ex boyfriend get a new gf, wife her, have children, watch those children grow up, watch him and his wife grow old, pass on communication duties to his children and their spouses, then those children's children. By the time main character is ready to go home, the great grandchild can reveal that they work in a museum part time because it's the only place that still has the technology to send main character these types of primitive messages. This would also somewhat match up with OP's romantic relationship
>>15944971

>>15948674
Mods filtered the rest of the shonentards but not One Piece because of blatant bias a long time ago, thus the state the board is in.

>>15948292
/a/ is madly jealous of any creative effort and will flame out any remotely creative posters on the grounds of them not being native japanese

>>15949272
Isn't that standard everywhere? There aren't too many boards for people who create.

>>15949008
One Piece is shonen only in name. I appeals to pretty much any demographic and the kids who grew up on it probably have families by now.

>>15949898
>One Piece is shonen only in name.
Is this what you tell yourself to sleep at night? It's a gigantic double standard, One Piece isn't any more or less immature than fucking Naruto is.

>>15949898
t. shonentard

>>15941804
Cool stuff anon. I'll read it

>>15947981
>>Not Berserk

>implying OP has the ability to do the shit that´s going on in Berserk panels

there´s a reason why i picked naruto, it´s a good starting point, you don´t get beginners to draw Mona Lisa you dumb fuck

>>15947904
you´re going to be more self-aware about the things you´re doing, i mean why the fuck you choose the main hero to be a girl to begin with? i don´t understand the weeb´s mind but the book i recc. at least gave me a sense about how their minds operate

>>15950648
That's why I picked HxH. HxH approach is easier than Naruto's, but it's so much better conveying emotions.

Also, is not about copying Togashi or Kishimoto's style... is about analyze what are they doing and OP can take that to his own style.

>>15950669
There's nothing wrong choing your MC as a girl is that what yout intuition tells, and is very wrong to make your MC a boy just because a book tells you to do it. Again, Act-Age is a popular current manga with a girl as a protagonist. Girls are just as interesting as boys.

>>15950669
I mean, dude. I'm not the OP, you can call me a weeb if u want, since I'm also participating in the contest. But, I'm also a woman and just the description of that book was so full of shit, I couldn't stand it.

I don't see why I should care about some drivel about otaku culture where some fuckers talk about "muh sexualzation" of fictional females or what have you. It's not like the Fujoshis don't exist that fantasize about "insert straight dudes, but let's make them gay this time" and flick their beans. Who gives a crap? Why bring fetish shit into a simple storytelling concept?

And if you truly don't know of any shonen female leads, than I can't help you. You're too busy reading shit, to know more about this topic.

>>15950894
You know I could kill you in one strike, right? It's amazing how much better men are than women.

>>15950899
I'll be waiting sunshine.

>>15950902

>>15950899
Is amazing how little you know about both males and females. Both males and females must learn to understand and take avantage of their respective active and pasive virtues.

>>15950354
The difference is even apparent in the main cast and their ages. Even more obvious in themes and the coming of age aspect.

Naruto is mainly about a bullied loser who wants to prove himself and be respected, basically THE middle/high school experience of the readers.

Luffy just wants to have a fun adventure. That shit is applicable to a child or some fuck with grandchildren.

Look at some of Kishi's side themes like ninjas being child soldiers or how the wars of powerful nations fuck up the smaller ones … it's touched and forgotten. Meanwhile Oda explorers basically any social issue there is and weaves it into the world and characters, so something like racism against fishman has consequences beyond "poor fishman :("

>>15950899
A tiny virus can kill you. Guess batflu > men > women according to your "logic".

>>15951015
>women
>virtue
Good joke!

>>15951054
Pointing out the similarities and differences between the two series is superfluous, One Piece is still the same breed of endlessly repetitive garbage with 2-dimensional themes and characters with googoogaga artstyle marketed for children and mentally stunted adults.

>>15950899
holy shit this guy is scary

>>15951094
Sorry sunshine. That's not me. I'm baking u cookies while waiting for you to swing by on your tricycle.

>>15951054
>Meanwhile Oda explorers basically any social issue there is and weaves it into the world and characters
Thanks for the laugh, anon.

>>15941804
Not a manga or drawing expert at all. I'm just here to tell you good luck, king

>>15951150
Only that it obviously isn't as simple as seen by the actual audience beyond the target audience. The amounts of adults is atypical compared to literally any other shonen. It's kinda how most of Dicken's books were stuff for children but offered enough depth for adults.

>>15951830
>Only that it obviously isn't as simple as seen by the actual audience beyond the target audience.
No, it really is simple. One Piece is an extremely nostalgic series, just like the Dragon Quest games for example. A western equivalent would be the Harry Potter books which were written for children and now have a predominantly adult fanbase well past its prime.
>The amounts of adults is atypical compared to literally any other shonen.
This is objectively fucking false, unless you're speaking solely in size rather than adult-to-child reader ratio.
>It's kinda how most of Dicken's books were stuff for children but offered enough depth for adults.
Of fucking course you would bring that hack of a writer up, someone who wrote solely for commercial reasons and his legacy being that of an important footnote to Anglo literature rather than a writer of tremendous talent.

>>15941804
Yeah, women drivers...

>>15948031
>greeks
>high brow
Shiggy.

Read something real, like Hagakure.

>>15952332
kek

Are there animals on the planet? It seems like she could have some sort of interesting interaction with them. Perhaps one could even become a character.

>>15952310
>A western equivalent would be the Harry Potter books which were written for children and now have a predominantly adult fanbase well past its prime.
That's a better example of nostalgia. Almost no adult wants to actually read the books but simply have found memories of it due reading them in their childhood. Many just tried them out based on the hype. The books are mostly still bought for children.

OP on the other hand has the largest share among readers over 20, and depending by the poll generally around 10% over 30.
>his legacy being that of an important footnote to Anglo literature
As the most popular writer in English outside of Rowling (and maybe Willy), he's a bit more than a footnote, whether you like him or not.
Besides, the accusation he wrote SOLELY for money is silly. It was obviously a big factor for him but he choose controversial topics which were at least "risky" if money was the sole reason.

And sure, one can argue about the quality of his writing just like one can do with OP, but the overall impact of the works way beyond their time and target demographic is undeniable. You don't have to be Flaubert to reach people of all ages and cultures, just tell them compelling stories. Something very few writers managed to such an extent.

I'm by no means a mangu expert, but it seems naturally that this medium is best when there is story driving movement and visuals. I guess you might want to write with notes on framing that sets the scene that your dialog will appear with. So, maybe IE: the focus pans from Kenichiwa as he mournfully stares down at his shaking fist, and slowly he screams "ONIMASHUUUUUUU" as the panel cuts to a wide view. You know, stuff like that I guess.

>>15952644
One Piece > Dickens by far.

At least One Piece doesn't take itself that seriously.

>>15952849
Did you draw that just for this thread?

>>15952944
yes it took all of five seconds

>>15952976
That's pretty good, I like it

>>15952996
thanks, I'm happy it illustrated my post

>>15952922
Dare I say based?

>>15942120
Underrated. But may be a little too late for OP.

>>15944971
Your lifestory sounds more interesting than your idea for the contest.

>>15949898
>There aren't too many boards for people who create
Most boards encourage original content. /v/ has regular dev threads. /lit/ has several write threads. /u/, /jp/, /ic/, /gd/, hell, even /x/. /a/ is practically the only board where you're told to fuck right off and deleted if you post anything original.

>>15955792
>/v/ has regular dev threads.
Tbqh never saw them. Saw some on /g/ but it was an outlier.
> /lit/ has several write threads
Generally limited to bits of text or general advice. Almost no one takes the idea threads serious anymore and outside of NaNoWriMo, there are almost none when it comes to developing the story or something along the lines of what OP asks.
>/a/ is practically the only board where you're told to fuck right off and deleted if you post anything original.
They seem receptive enough to fanart.