/lit/ - Literature

A seventh grade English teacher I interned with didn't know what an appositive is.

I have that exact same hat

All my teachers were excellent too

It'd be easier to have a thread about the best English teachers we've had, I bet.

One of my teachers was a surly old bitch who used to call the students "idiots." She told me I was too intelligent to be in her class and that I should GTFO. I thought she was great.

>>1592825
Chav. Burberry is fucking ugly.

I had one who yelled at me for ending my sentences in "meow." (I was going through a really huge anime phase...) But I don't think that's terribly relevant.

>>1592836

S'wrong with you

>>1592836

Meow that reminded me of Super Troopers

Not a particular story, but my english teacher scored a 13 on his ACT.

Never been here, but saw this pic on the main. Yeah my Highschool teacher name Lori foster is a god preaching cunt bag who proclaims to be an expert on everything except satan.
>I missed school alot because of high bloodsugar
>At class one day
>She comments about how i miss
>Well it kinda of an important disease
> her "well i come to school when im sick"
> THAT WAS FUCKING WRONG *slam fist
> suprisedface.jpg "what"
>You know damn well what, fuck this im outtie
Walked out, feltgoodman

>>1592853

>high bloodsugar

aka you're fat

Get out of my English class, fatty. Go have a cupcake, we're discussing Ovid.

>>1592853

Kid says "Can I go the restroom, please."
Teacher says "I don't know, can you?"

...and she thinks it never gets old.

>but teacher X, it's impossible to say whether or not this article was being sarcastic without directly consulting the author (article was about chinese history)
>well it was
>why?
>because

And she left. I'm not even fucking kidding, this was an AP teacher. Oh, and there was the one who reported previous students to the police for coming back to visit her class. And the one the year after that who believed in ghosts and would talk about them constantly. Her college roomates trolled her one time during one of her faggy seances and she thought it was real (they just acted like they saw something that wasn't there and screamed,) and she wouldn't shut the fuck up about ghosts. Ever.

Guys make better English teachers, from my experience. Just putting it out there.

>>1592853
This was probably the most incoherent greentext story I've ever read. Read it twice and still don't know what the fuck is going on.

>>1592880
I don't think I've ever had a male English teacher. Weird.

Man, all my English teachers were awesome. In particular my seventh grade English teacher (funny as hell middle aged dude who was also ridiculously inspirational and motivating and really cared), ninth grade English teacher (smart funny coarse Irish-American lady who was incredibly enthusiastic) and tenth grade English teacher (ridiculously old, crotchety man who did not give a FUCK about anyting, but his high standards really led me to improve). GOOD STUFF GLAD I WENT TO A PRIVATE SCHOOL

>>1592880

My favorite English professor was a woman. She had a tattoo of Shakes on her ankle, and she was one of the most enthusiastic professors I ever had.

She wasn't exceptionally knowledgeable, but she was a good facilitator of discussion, and I learned a lot in her classes.

>>1592882

Actually it's not. English is largely a woman's discipline.

>>1592881
I'll give it a go, I come from /v/ so my poorly-written greentext reading comprehension should be above average.
>kid is fat, has to miss school often due to the fact that his blood is slowly turning into a milkshake
>teacher comments on the fact that he misses class often, most likely because he looks like the kind of kid who would cut class and head to McDonald's
>this rustles his jimmies
>he slams his fat fist on the desk, making a kind of "THWAP"
>he lumbers out of the classroom, everyone inside trying to contain their laughter
>he thinks he's hot shit

Better?

>>1592888
Well, teaching in general is at lower levels, which is where most English teachers lie.

>>1592813
>you missed the authors intent
>no i didnt
>you completely forgot to add that it was about x,y,z
>angry at my F
>next paper makes sure to mention x,y,z
>easy A

Was like that with all but one of my teachers.

English teachers make me think it is a joke of a discipline.


which it is

>>1592901
Ohhhhhhh.

Thanks, man.

Say, you should write "reader's companions."

>>1592908
I concur. Writing is one thing which can be taught, but they shouldn't attempt to teach comprehension at any level above fucking middle school. It saddens me that most "higher-level" English courses focus on ensuring that people can explain what they just read was about and ignore mechanics of the language and good writing technique entirely. And that the result of this is that Twilight sells millions of copies because readers no longer appreciate decent prose. Nobody cares how a story is told any more, so long as it's the story that they want to hear.

>>1592908
Haven't they heard of "Death of the Author"?

>>1592901
You guys are actually wrong, and the fact that you think your superior because you can spell better and know more words is sad. It's type 1 diabetes look it the fuck up. I've weighed 155lbs (5'10") since 9th grade.

>>1592934

insecure much?

>>1592878

I haven't had this happen personally, but I've heard cases of it before. Now my grammar sucks, so is there some proper way you are suspose to phrase the question or is the teacher just being a cunt?

I'm done with the assignment :)
No, you are finished, only a steak is done (as in well done)

Grammar issue, or a cunt?

>>1592934

How do you type with such fat hands?

>>1592956

She's just... huh. That's a colloquial use of the word done.

If you're very strict, you can't be 'done' with an assignment, but the assignment can be done. She's right in correcting you to finished (You are finished, the assignment was done), but her other statement is weird.

>all of my English have been great to me and are close friends

>>1592878
that's like the classic:
"Do you have your homework?"
"No, I left it at home."
"Well, that's a good place for it."
teacher's face related

>>1592991

>her other statement is weird.

Probably too long since she'd been done herself, amirite?

>>1592934
GTFO

>9th grade
>Class is getting essays back
>Essays were about The Odyssey
>Mine is 4 pages long, about various dynamics of how the poem was written, blah blah, smart shit
>Get it back, got a B-
>imokaywiththis.jpg
>teacher finishes handing out essays
>says something along the lines of: Out of all the class, Sam's was the "most bestest".
>mfw
>After class, I look over Sam's essay
>It's written poorly about how the poem inspired him to be kinder
>mfw

>>1593273
I really fucking hate these jpgs. They're like "The Worst of /b/" condensed down into bite-sized idiocy.

>>1593278

You were studying The Odyssey in ENGLISH?

>most bestest

mfw you just confirmed the stereotypes of AMerican education. What the fuck is 9th grade, anyway?

>>1593278
It's terrible when professors say shit like, "X had the best paper." X feels great but the rest of the class feels like total shit.

Great job, Teach.

>>1593285

/b/ is fantastic, you're just a black person

>>1593289
I read just last night that most of Europe thinks of an American B.A. as equivalent to their high school diploma. Feelssadman.jpg

>>1593285
>They're like "The Worst of /b/" condensed down into bite-sized idiocy.

I thought that was the point? The face represents the character saying all these comments, and by pairing the face and the comments, the image makes a commentary about people who say that shit constantly.

>>1593295

When I went to university, I had a chance to study in Chicago, not Ivy League, but a good university, I think. Anyway, one of my teachers at the time told me I may as well spend 3 years at Goole Polytechnic.

Probably snobbism, and I still think that I'd have got a good education in the US, but it's indicative of how US degrees are viewed here.

>>1593299
>I'd have got a good education

Oh, dear...

>I'm in 8th grade english
>I'm jewish
>Teacher asks what the title of Hitler's manifesto was
>raise my hand
>she looks directly at me
>any body at all?
>looks away from me
>Mein Kampf
>I has a rage and call her anti-semitic (this wasn't the first case)
>She's offended and calls me out as accusing her of being anti-jew
>I know, thats what i said.

racist and redundant cunt

Greentextesque thread? In my /lit/? Hell yeah.

>Be a literate white male (you can already tell what's going to happen, can't you...)
>Read generic literature for first half of a course
>a gradual feminist theme emerges over the second half
>Discussion day; we need to talk about Atwood and Austen from a feminist viewpoint
>Ok, thinks I, I'm pretty liberal with my views on women
>Make a comment saying Austen's life experience was limited because she was a woman
>Get called out immediately for being a male and mentioning gender in a DISCUSSION ABOUT GENDER
>80 minutes of me on the defensive while the teacher just watches

>>1593314
Women are defensive listeners. If you don't know that, yet--well, now you know, now.

>>1593295
>>1593299

inb4 weaboo

When I was in high school i had the chance over the summer to do a homestay in Japan, during which we visited a local high school.

mfw they're studying shit like polymer chains in their chemistry class when we barely touched on molarity in ours back in the US.

Their teacher seemed pretty chill though, all the answers to the lab questions were written up on the board. I didn't know half the fucking kanji up there but I still got it right just by copying.

>>1593301

Yeah, just read that myself. Maybe I should have gone to Chicago after all.

>I'd have received a good education

Fixed, OK?

>>1593323
Oops, forgot to capitalize my first I, don't hang me guys.

I had an English teacher that loathed science fiction and was forever berating me for reading it
Then one time he had to do an essay on Ray Bradburys short story The Veldt

>>1593323
Was that the vanilla chemistry class or was it the equivalent of an AP/honors?

>>1593316

That was several years ago, and I've learned what topics to avoid when talking with women. I still get a thrill whenever someone calls me a misogynist, because it means the conversation will become interesting.

Not really a bad teacher story, but
I had a friend in 10th grade English who ended up falling asleep with his eyes open somehow.
So this guy was asleep, but for all intents and purposes, looked like he was reading.

>Teacher calls on him to answer a question
> "..."
>"Brandon, (asks the question again)"
>"..." by this point some of us are chuckling a bit
>"Oh, so it's funny to ignore me now huh?"
>"... *wakes up* huh?*

I had the same English teacher from 8th grade until I graduated because they kept moving her around. She was decent, but a bit of a ditz.

>>1593332
Y'know, that's a good point, I honestly don't know. I'm not even sure if the Japanese school system has anything equivalent to AP or not.

>>1593278
I feel ya, man.

>English 101 at a community college
>Teacher uses the word "powerful" more frequently than any other word when describing literature
>Learning nothing while barely literate idiots struggle with everything
>Write a paper without much effort but it's good enough
>Get a B- on it
>Barely comprehensible illegal immigrant's paper is mentioned as the best
>Stop going to class while with less slightly less than half of semester less
>Still pass

Guess I must be lucky or something. All four of my English teachers in high school were male.

One was a former player of the Detroit Lions, one talked about his going to retire on a golf course and one coached one of the school's sports teams and we did pretty much nothing in his class the entire length of the season.

I've got a few French friends, and the amount they know about philosophy is humbling, and only from the equivalent of high school. I'm a britfag, and I had a good education in Literature and Science, but no philosophy. Wheras it seems that the frogs just learn about Philosophy, sex and cooking.

Seems a pretty rounded education to me.

>Stop going to class while with less slightly less than half of semester less

>>1593368
I don't know why they let coaches be teachers as well.
They're always going to prioritize the sports team and do jack-all for their actual class.

tl;dr coaches make shitty teachers.

>>1593357
>Stop going to class while with less slightly less than half of semester less

>>1593374

In general, I agree.

But one of the best math teachers I've ever had was a coach. We also talked about video games a lot.

>>1593374
I swear on my life that I once had a player from the Atlanta Falcons as a substitute teacher in a High School English class. People were taking pictures with him and shit.

>>1593374
The Chorus and band teachers in my school were both coaches. They were pretty decent, but then again, the music program at that school was an afterthought since the school's main focus was technology and engineering programs.

>>1593338
>for all intents and purposes
I bileeve you mean for all intensive purposes

>>1593403
Nice try.

>>1593403
trollface.tiff

>>smart kid, read a lot
>>take 9th grade english
>>24 year old teacher
>>likes the popular students, me and nerdy friend sit and talk about video games while the rest of class does the work i've finished
>>She can't take time out to help me with my writing
>>MFW IEP
>>MFW A+ in 10th grade english, in extensions then in honors

>>1593403
dont worry, trolls like him are a diamond dozen

>>1593425
True. Trolling has become rather serious business nowadays. It's a doggy dog world out there.

>>1593425

Wow. Actual wit, in my /lit/ - it's apparently likelier than I thought.

Well played.

>>1592833
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BRITISH PEOPLE IN /lit/?

>>1593459

Because we read more than anyone else? I think per capita there are more books published, and so I assume bought, than anywhere else in the world.

However, we can't sleep because of all the drugs, booze and football violence, so we hang around /lit/, chatting shit about books an that innit.

>>1593463
BRITAIN IS A MAGICAL PLACE.

CAAAPPPSSLOOCCCKKK

>>1593463
I kind of want to move to Britain to have a nice lunch with you.
Too bad it's such a surveillance society. You guys should really have a revolution, you don't deserve that shit.

>>1593473
HEY EVERYONE I'M FROM THE UNITED KINGDOM. I HAVE BUTTER TEETH AND TALK LIKE A FAG. LALALALALALA

>reading Huck Finn
>have ridiculously stupid 5 question true/false quiz
>Character refers to "a hundred masked cowards" during a lynching (simplification)
>quiz: does this refer to the KKK?
>I put false
>everyone else plus the teacher says true
>"Uh, anonteacher, this is Antebellum South, KKK wasn't around until after Civil War"
>Five minute herpderp spree until he finally agrees with me
>Peer-grading - tells class to mark it wrong for everyone now
>"Hold up now, my intention was never to reduce their scores, but to point out a fact for future reference."
>"Thou wrought what thy soweth" (direct quote, no BS)
>mfw
>I sit there stone-faced, pissed to hell
>Everyone in class is retarded, but to take their points for a stupid reason in a stupid class? C'mon man.
>Bros and hoes rage at me for five minutes
>Remember it's a 5 question T/F quiz, insignificant points
>All's well.

>>1593475

I couldn't agree more, old bean - that's why I live in Holland now, but we've got a new National Racist here now, so I think I've had enough of that shit and may well be moving on. I've had it with these cold winters anyway.

>>1593476

You wouldn't believe how much I've spent on my teeth over the years, they're pretty perfect to be honest. Most British people have pretty good teeth - 70 years of free health care and dentistry made a bit of an impact on the stereotype.

I doubt I talk like a fag, but sometimes when I speak in another language, my voice gets higher because my larynx constricts through stress. I'm told that when I speak Spanish, I sound like a bit of a mincer sometimes, especially by latin americans, because they find the castillian lisp funny.

Thanks for dropping by though.

>>1593490
COME TO AMERICA
Your accent must be heard

>>1593526
I second this motion.

>Talking about transcendentalism in my 10th grade AmLit course
>Mention the empathy box from Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep
>Class looks at me like I'm a retard
>Teacher asks what I'm talking about
>Try to explain to her what the empathy box was
>She looks at me dead in the eyes and says
>"Sounds pretty lame Mr. Lord of the Rings"
>Class laughes
>Rage
>Never talk for the rest of the year
>Get a 99 average

Fuck that teacher.
Fuck that class.
Fuck those faggot illiterate assholes.

>>1593542
Jesus Christ anon.
I'm so sorry

>>1593542
>English Teacher
>calls a classic piece of /lit/ "lame"

That bitch shouldn't have a job.

My 12th grade AP English teacher told every other class of hers about being careful with tone in essays, and how she had "one student" who was "so snarky."
Turns out, I was that student cause I got sick of her bullshit. I'd be the only one reading Dante's Inferno, but she'd yell at me for sleeping cause I was hunched over my desk.
This same teacher would applaud all my presentations in class and call them excellent and the like, and then give me Bs with bullshit reasons as to why.

She once told me "Well, I wish that I could fail you--I really do," and told all the other English teachers (who are my friends, heh) about how I was just a terrible student and I should be flunked and it's stunning that I didn't fail... All the other English teachers said "anon? well, yeah he's a shitty student, but he obviously deserves to pass the class..."

Finally I got fed up with it and started writing essays in various tones, ie a Vonnegut essay in the style of Vonnegut (ie "Vonnegut was good at using simple words in his books, even though he had fancy ideas. He wasn't afraid to fucking curse once in a while, either.")

Man, she hated me. Couldn't teach for shit, either. Her quizzes would be printed off of Sparknotes. It took me a full semester to realize that I didn't have to read any of the books, but at least the second semester was more enjoyable.

>>1593560
Well, sounds like you weren't a particularly exemplary student after you got all snarky.

>>1593548

I hope that teacher shits her skeleton out backwards.

>>1593299
Education at public high schools is not great in the US. But you do realize that the United States has more top universities than any other country in the world, right?

If you turned down the University of Chicago because your teacher was a misinformed fuck, I'm gonna rage. That school is as good as the Ivies, if not better.

>>1593560
maybe if you weren't such a douchebag your teachers might be inclined to look at you more favorably

but hey, nothing you do in high school matters

Every High School teacher should just be listened to with extreme caution. A lot of them are reject professors from community colleges/universities/leagues/societies.

Generally, all HS teachers are very unintelligible, think about as deep as the average beer-deep, hot-dog-swallowing-baseball/football-frat-fan. They're simply not tuned for fine education or any academic art.

That's why they're fucking rejects and paid increasingly low - they're fucking thoughtless, dull and mediocre.

>>1593299
Ahahahahahahahahaha. Your teacher is remarkably stupid. Public high schools are bad, yeah, that's not something to draw across the entirety of the US educational system.

>>1593655
University of Chicago student here. it's a pretty fucking good school

>>1593657
The key is that I didn't start actually being a douchebag until the the last quarter or whatever, but she hated me from the goddamn get-go.
She was, however, completely incompetent and hilariously self-assured about it.

>>1593299

You turned down U Chicago? LMAO, what a fucking moron.

>>1593664
That's a bit vitriolic, don't you think? Plus, hilariously inaccurate, to imply that high school teachers don't work their asses off, and that their payment isn't a result of the general weakening of unions in America.
Cause, one of my best friends is a high school English teacher cause she likes teaching high school. As I recall, she's got degrees from Vassar, Berkeley, Cambridge, and I think she did her doctoral work in Dublin studying Yeats. One of the smartest women I know.
Also, I've got a mother with a pair of master's degrees, one from Brown, who teaches first grade cause she enjoys it.


Which ain't to say that there aren't plenty of shitty teachers, but your generalizations seem a bit harsh for someone with no close friends/family in the profession.

>>1593657
lol'd

>>1593369
Fellow Britfag here. Only philosophy I did in school was around year 10 (though it was offered at A level), when it still went by the name Religious Studies but gradually molded into some sort of ethics. Anyway, most of it was just asking dumb 15 year olds about why abortion is right/wrong and watching videos of Cat Stevens. Decided to not even grade us on it.

watevs, I chose law over English and now I'm doing physics wat

>>1593694
Honestly? That class sounds awesome. I'm just imagining everyone sitting in a circle, shootin' the shit, and listening to Cat Stevens. Damn.

>>1593542
Wow that's some fucking bullshit. Classmates making those kinds of remarks is one thing, but the teacher is going against one of the principles an educator ought to stand by when they make a comment like that.

You know what, I think I'm going to make that book one of the next things I read, just to spite that bitch and her stifling of a student's desire to participate in discussion.

>>1593333
Care to share your wisdom?

Wow, you guys have really had some shitty English teachers. My high school English teacher taught us about things we didn't even realize were important until we got into college. He was awesome. Now that I think about it, I can't think of a single English teacher that I hated or that hated me. Then again, I was a wallflower through the entirety of high school. I'm going to the University of Iowa now.

The best I can do is share a story about my college Philosophy professor who, on the first day of class, told everyone that they "were probably going to fail." I withdrew the class because he was a pontificating prick. That and I'm not much for Philosophy.

I had my dad as an english teacher. This was in 7th grade:

>Fail a book report on Redwall
>End up failing the quarter
>"In regards to Runescape, your life is going to change drastically."
>Start crying in the middle of class
>School get's out, go home and play runescape
>MFW

>>1593793
I also became ineligible for tennis, which my dad coaches

>twilight is filming at my highschool
>fangirls, fangirls everywhere
>trying to do a makeup test afterschool
>fangirls are screaming
>english teacher goes into the hall, threatens to get them kicked out of the school if they don't shut up
>everything went better than expected

All my English teachers were great. Then again I was in an AP class and things were pretty lax. The normal classes were way stricter and according to my friends way worse.

>10 years old
>"OK class, read this story in your English book, it's 10 pages long, we'll discuss it when everyone is done."
>finish in 10 minutes because hey, I read quickly, even at that age. my mom taught me early
>teacher sees me with my book closed
>WHAT ARE YOU DOING READ THE STORY!
>entire class turns to watch
>"um i did already, i'm waiting for everyone else..."
>THERE IS NO WAY YOU READ THAT WHOLE THING, WHY WOULD YOU LIE TO ME
>"no really I did, I'm not lying..."
>I AM GOING TO SEND A NOTE HOME TO YOUR PARENTS, NOW READ THE STORY

So I read it again. My mom laughed and threw the note away.

>go into American high school
>ask them to name a book they've read, outside school assignments, that wasn't about vampire
>one kid has maybe read 1984 or something
>nothing from everyone else

I have a teacher who is technically philosophy but teaches English too in lower school.

He went to Oxford studying English literature then quit and went to Cambridge to study Philosophy. He is scarily intelligent. He tended to go off into rants and be a bit mad at times too: one time he stopped a lesson to play us all Bach's Cello suites for two hours.

I also remember in exams he handed out champagne and chocolate cake for everyone to eat. Not my best teacher, but certainly my most interesting

I must have annoyed people in English. I've always been a good student and did well in most subjects (except DT) but in English I excelled.

When we did group reading I would read ahead of everyone else and often finish the book lessons before them and just draw or write in the meantime. I would answer almost every question (I grew aware answering every one makes me sound like a twat). We even did a writing exam where the top mark was a C and when we got it back I got an A and the teacher explained my writing was flawless so it would be unfair for me not to receive it. Teachers liked me because I was polite to them, always behaved and did homework, knew my stuff and would recommend the next term's reading to them.

But still, to other students I must have been a complete cock.

My teacher failed me my essay by one mark because I didn't read the poem closely enough.

In fact I had taken a different interpretation of the poem 'Retrospect' by Robert Bridges, in that Bridges was reflecting on his entire life experience rather than a specific relationship. The points I made were very similar in fact, but she didn't even critique the essay. She underlined my first paragraph and wrote "wrong" and then ignored the rest of my essay.

But she can only mark according to her answer sheet because she isn't a real english teacher. She is a drama teacher who the college believes can teach Shakespeare.

She's unreasonably aggressive and she's vague in her explanations. I think she's just paranoid people are going to find out she's not a real teacher.

>>1593876

>english teacher asks if anyone has read anything of worth at all
>begins randomly saying titles of classics, hoping to elicit a response from at least one student
>class stays silent
>hfw
>ive read about 60% of what he said
>beta as fuck
>also mfw

>>1593884

Also she can't write or spell.

Normally it would be okay because I work pretty hard for english but for advanced higher you really need a good teacher to get an A.

>mfw when this thread reminds me of that gay teacher who fancied me and everyone knew it

>have Australian English teacher for one year
>fairly jolly, upbeat and nice guy
>final week of term
>kid comes in with newspaper
>throws it onto table
>picture of our teacher with his thumbs up, caption reads "LOCAL PENIS JUDGING CONTEST IS A SUCCESS"
>teacher doesn't look people in the eye that week
>moves back to Australia two weeks later.

>10th grade Literature
>teacher's a fat bitch who just refuses to teach
>I read books instead
>she's made because it's not the assigned textbook
>talks day in and day out about how much she hates her ex-husband
>when the class doesn't want to hear about it, she goes into the hallway and talks to other teachers
>I do all my assignments
>fails me
>10th grade Literature next year

There were so very few good teachers in that entire school. One teacher believed to camouflage something was to make it "highly visible to like everyone."

Most of my English teachers were normal. A few were cool. My 11th grade one was awesome and she really liked me, we used to email back and forth, share music and books, etc. I was good about answering too. The teacher would ask a question and if no one said anything, I'd wait a beat and then call out the answer. That way I didn't jump all over the question like those annoying kids, but the teachers knew they could rely on me.

Most of the things they asked were dirt simple anyway. I went to a really bad school. Tenth grade (15-16yr olds), the teacher was going over "who the person is referring to". She asked something like "When I say 'Go to the store', who am I talking to?" and no one knew the answer. I sighed and raised my hand and said "You". Then some girl wanted to argue that I had literally meant "you" (as in the teacher), and not "you" as in "(You) Go to the store." It took forever to explain...

> Take college English course
> Teacher promises no one will get an A on first essays because "lawl, the purpose of the course is to L2write better, "
> Put in minimal effort on first essay
>Get expected B, but with note that I "overcomplicate" my paragraphs
>Teacher shows example of an essay
>MFW opening paragraph " Death. Destruction. Illness. All of these things children should not face. Children should be running around with sweats beading on them."
>MFW I realized she wanted us to suck at writing so that she can feel as if she's putting in effort.

>>1593888
What newspaper reports local penis judging contests?

>Children should be running around with sweats beading on them.

Jesus christ that's hilarious

>>1593932

in countries where they have penis inspection day

>>1593936
Russia?

>>1592813
My English teacher refused to be wrong. In an essay, I italicized the name of a major book, and he took off points. Even after I showed him physical proof from our textbook, he refused to give me back points.

Another time we had a multiple choice analogies test. One of the questions was "Valedictorian : salutatorian :: ...."
The entire class thought the answer was "first place : runner-up" for obvious reasons, but he insisted on "climax : ending."

God, just thinking about him pisses me off.

>>1593655
>>1593669
>>1593692

Probably too late to answer any of these now, but I sometimes wish I'd gone to Chicago, if for nothing else than the experience of going to the States for three years, but since I was studying English Lit, I thought it best to stay in Britain - I ended up going to Glasgow, which is a pretty good university (and you get an MA from Scottish universities, so it looks good on the CV).

From what I gather, American universities are pretty damn good, which makes me wonder how American kids make the leap from high school (which seems to be of a very low standard) to university. The learning curve must be inense in the first year, just to catch up on all the shit that got missed out at school.

that guy who turned down uchicago wins the thread lLOL

>>1594014

>which makes me wonder how American kids make the leap from high school (which seems to be of a very low standard) to university.

You know how we have A Levels, or Scottish Highers?

Americans don't have an equivelant for that. Some kids take AP classes, but not many.

So basically, they have to get in by doing something else. "Extra credit" can be earned by doing community projects or helping out teachers. It isn't done on a strict grade requirement like in the UK.

>>1594014

Glasgow is the worst city in the developed world.

>>1594023

Cracking university though.

It's like Detroit, but the people are more violent.

>>1594014
>From what I gather, American universities are pretty damn good, which makes me wonder how American kids make the leap from high school (which seems to be of a very low standard) to university

At the High Schools that I went to we had not only AP classes, but CP classes as well. CP stood for College Prepatory. They were specifically designed courses to introduce students to topics and standards that they would need within college courses.

>>1594023

The words of a man who has never been to Nice.

>>1594026

Typically, how many students entering higher education took those classes?

>>1594029
Most. Admittedly I went to high schools where children wanted to go off to higher education. If a child doesn't apply themselves towards education and chooses to remain within "regular" non-CP courses, oh well. Those children usually won't be filling the halls of a university and will pursue trade schools or minimum wage employment.

>>1594025

true dat. Scotland has a history of great education

>>1594027

Glasgow is the official drugs and murder capital of Europe, it's the most culturally and economically deprived place ive ever been.

>>1594046

That might be true, but it's quite easy to avoid those areas. There are very nice parts to Glasgow.

>>1594023
>>1594027

Two people who've never been to Cleveland

>>1594047

But it's near impossible to avoid the people from those places. The cultural vacuum permeates all the classes in my experience.

If you think unprovoked attacks are a myth or are even uncommon then you have would be wrong. My best friend's brother is a completely incontinent vegetable now thanks to someone kicking him in the back of the neck when he was coming back from work a few weeks ago. I've had similar experiences myself.

Most people in Britain blame Thatcher.

I blame degenerate scottish genes.

>>1594059

Exactly the same things happen in Leeds, Middlesborough, Liverpool and London.

I'm not saying Glasgow is the best place in the UK, but I honestly didn't find it that bad. I knew where to avoid and all that.

>>1594046

I actually think there are more murders per capita in Nottingham than in Glasgow, but there are probably more people beaten into a vegetative state in Glasgow. For what it's worth, I never had one moment's trouble except this one time when I was blatantly trying to pull this guy's bird and he only punched me - didn't give me a full pasting - and I probably deserved a slap to be honest.

The drugs bit was one of the positive motivations for going to Glasgow, although when I saw people mainlining whisky and temazepam, I realised I was pretty much out of my depth.

>>1594067

More black people killing each other in Nottingham. Hardly any blacks in Glasgow, so there's less murder.

>>1594064

>Middlesborough

God, I'd forgotten that dump - people who I know who went to university there say that it's one of the most student-unfriendly towns in the country, incredibly violent and rundown. You can hardly ever get weed, but heroin is available on every corner.

Another real shithole that nobody ever thinks about is Luton - I worked in a casino there for a few weeks, and it was the roughest joint I ever worked. I thought myself a bit of a tough gambling professional, but I couldn'thandle that dump.

>>1594064

You've never had to grow up here, I can tell. There was a big news special by the BBC trying to understand why Glasgow never recovered from the economic progression of society in the 80 while Liverpool and former soviet cities did, it was pretty interesting.

>>1594072

The people are friendly, in a way. The same way people from Sheffield or Barnsley are. That kind of rough but nice attitude. It is run down though, and it is properly nasty in some places.

Students will be asking for a kicking. Especially southern ones.

>>1594070

Like I said, Glasgow is the murder capital of all western Europe and the 6th worst in the whole world. Not exaggerating.

>http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/scotland/article5733964.ece

>>1594075

Equally, you didn't have to grow up in Middlesborough or Nottingham. I grew up in Sheffield, and believe me, Glasgow seemed like a relief after getting away from my home town, where a good night is usually a couple of litres of cider, some pills, then joyriding until bored, then burning out the car, then collapsing until it was time to do the whole thing again tomorrow.

Everybody's personal hell seems the worst, I guess. All urban nightmares are unique in their own way. I'm not pretending Glasgow is paradise, or that neds are harmless, but every large UK city has similar cultures (in Sheffield, they're called "budgies" because of that shellsuit-bottoms-tucked-into-socks look that's just so sexy and cool).

>>1594078

>Especially southern ones

One of my friends (not a student) got glassed in a pub in Middlesborough because she was from Darlington.

Let's just absorb that - a man glassed a 20 year old woman in the face, and scarred her for life, for being from a town maybe 20km away.

Friendly people, fo shizzle.

>>1594084

According to this article:

http://www.herald.ie/national-news/city-news/dublin-murder-rate-is-one-of-europes-highest-1589449.ht
ml

Riga is the murder capital, and Dublin is 6th - who'd have thought Dublin was so rough.

I think it depends on which statistics you look at and what the author is trying to prove.

On a literary note, Dublin has possibly produced better writers than Glasgow, and can be excused to some extent (with apologies to James Kelman)

>>1594093

In Europe Riga is the worst, and Glasgow is the second. Dublin s 6th.

Glasgow is the 6th worst IN THE WORLD, not just europe.

>The people are friendly, in a way

That is the best you can hope for, more commonly you'll just get a drunken psychopath.

>Everybody's personal hell seems the worst,

I am aware of this, that is why I am using objective statistics to prove that Glasgow is exceptionally bad. Glasgow also has the lowest life expectancy in the UK.

>>1594098

OK - you've convinced me. I still enjoyed it there though, and I think it's got a lot more to offer as a city than violent crime, drugs and alcohol.

I will say though, that these statistics are highly dubious, and are as often as not a political tool, designed to scare the shit out of people and to get funding for more police, even though that funding then goes on administrators, bonuses and hobby bobbies.

And it could always be worse - I can't be arsed to look up statistics, but I bet somewhere like Detroit or LA is off the fucking scale compared to Glasgow - at least neds don't have glocks and mac-10s and all them other things I hear about in hip hop tracks.

One thing though, you say

>You've never had to grow up here, I can tell.

Which implies you still live in Glasgow - why the hell would you stay in a place that you hate so much? I couldn't wait to get the fuck out of South Yorkshire, and I haven't stopped moving since.

I'D SURE HATE TO LIVE IN THAT SHITHOLE. AND WITH THAT, I SHALL SLEEP SOUNDLY. G'NIGHT.

>>1594139

>Why haven't you left

Tell me about it man.

I'm out of here as soon as uni begins, and I'm never coming back.

>>1594150

Careful what you wish for - you may end up in Middlesborough.

And the sorry truth is that wherever you go in Britain, if you're a student, you are highly likely to get filled in for no reason at least once. Everywhere in the country, townies like to beat up gownies - it's just a fact.

>filled in

i like that, where's it from?..... it means beaten up right?

>>1594151

I'm leaving Britain.

>>1594156

Yop - it means beaten up. I dunno where it comes from, they say it everywhere. Fill him in, punch his lights out, knack hi, scrag him, the English language is remarkably rich in the language of violence.

lights= lungs, by the way - a lot of britfags think it means "knock him unconscious" (i.e. lights out, asleep), but in fact the truth is far more graphic and unpleasant

>>1594162

Where do you plan to move to?

>>1594162

Well, GL, but they have neds everywhere - here in Holland, they call them "gabbers" and its remarkable how similar the styles are - really awful haircuts, shellsuits, violence and cheap lager. It's like there's an international magazine hey all read- Cosmo for chavs, scunners and trash. "This summers best burberry to match your sunburn. How to keep your man happy in bed without letting him piss in your mouth. Latest Shellsuit looks from the Scunthorpe catwalk shows".

>>1594150
Not that I've ever so much as been north of the wall, but I call bullshit on everything you said, cited statistics included.

Here's my argument: If Glasgow is as you say, how could the members of Belle and Sebastian even lived long enough to meet up and start making this wonderful music I'm currently enjoying? I love 'em, but they seem like huge pussies.

American schools aren't all that bad guys...just depends on which school you go to. Our best compare with the rest of the world's best, however since we lump in the derps and speds with everyone else, our test scores are mediocre.

>>1594173

I'm pretty sure that the band members didn't grow up in Glasgow - Tim Murdoch's from Ayr, which is very twee and nice, but he went to college in Glasgow, just like everyone else from Ayr it seems.

I've also heard that he's surprisingly hard - he may sing like a faggot, but he's apparently a bit tasty.

>>1594177
>>1594173

According to wiki:

Richard Colburn (born on 25 July 1970) is the drummer of the Scottish indie band Belle & Sebastian. Before he joined Belle & Sebastian, he used to sell pies on match days outside Celtic Park and study Music Business at Stow College. He was also a semi-professional Snooker player. His nickname is "Rico" and he also DJs.

Semi-pro snooker player, and pieman at celtc doesn't speak of a sheltered upbringing. He's from Perth originally though, so not a naive weegie.

These Belle and Sebastian faggots are not as baroque as they sound...

>>1594164

I'm waiting on my application to be accepted for Medicine in Charles university, Prague.

>>1594168

Actually it's unreasonable how many popular indie bands started in Glasgow.

>>1594177
>>1594181
>mfw B&S are fronting at being "poofs"
>mfw I never really researched all that much once I realized the girl is homely

>>1594187

>Actually it's unreasonable how many popular indie bands started in Glasgow.

It's one way to escape, I guess. Slightly more hard work than the army, but you get to stay in bed later. Probably about the same number of sluts, but better money for rockstars. Then again, indie bandmembers don't get to slot jundies, as far as I'm aware.

>>1594190

Do you get much hot chinese pussy over there Vdubby? For some reason I imagine all chinese women as dumpy and over the age of 50, not like japanese anime girls.

>>1594196
Gonna be completely honest here: I prefer these girls to the Japanese. Of course my experience with the Riben guizi was limited to a pool of a few hundred college students at my rather small alma mater and my experience here is in a huge metropolis known throughout China for having the most beautiful women.

Now: do I get "a lot of pussy"? it depends on how you're asking. If you mean frequency, then yeah as I've a gee-eff. If you mean different vaginas then not really with the exception of the occasional prostitute when I'm very drunk. The girls here are surprisingly traditional for the most part so it isn't easy to sleep around.
>>1594193
So in American 'hoods you start rapping or playing basketball. In Scottish 'hoods you start a twee band. Kinda wishing I was from the 'hood (Scottish version).

are you in chengdu

>>1594207

Word.

>>1594084
That's not what the link says, it says that it has the fastest rising in western europe.

>>1594210
Are YOU in Chengdu?
Nah but I went there for New Year's. Saw some fuckin' pandas. Enjoyed the surprisingly good music scene. Ate a rabbit head. Pic related

>>1594207

And in da LDN, you either rap or play football.or go on the pipe.

Choices choice

>>1594210

do you talk in a deep-voiced lesbian monotone irl onionring?

just wondering because that's how i read all your posts. maybe it's the lack of question marks.

>>1594217
one of my friends is from there.
>>1594219
i don't have a deep voice

>>1594219
LOL
fucking seconded

>>1594219

One of those lesbians where even other militant wimmin say "oh fuck, it's that boring bitch, pretend you haven't seen her or we'll be stuck with her all day".

>>1592878

>weakly hidden 'let's talk about high school thread'
Is this to include the massive number of underage b&?

>>1594338
>doesn't like what you like
>boring

>>1594383

>mad about her 4chan voice

>>1594350
Not a English teacher, but very related to this pic. Some bitch was subbing our PE class and this guy asked to go to the bathroom. She said no for some stupid reason, so the guy ended up pissing in a shirt and leaving it in the desk.

Last week, pretentious PhD student teaching a poetry class, talking about vowel use. Starts talking about "oo" in some line, and how "it feels rather open".

Phonetically, "o" is a front close rounded vowel. As vowels go, it's about as un-fucking-rounded as they come. I don't raise an objection, and she carries on. I'm fully aware that about 70% of everything she says is utter shit now, and I'll be "taught" by her for the rest of the year. Feels bad, man

>>1594029
I went to a public school in the Midwest; about 1/3 of students in our high school took AP classes. Only kids in the Honors track were invited to take them, and you were assigned to remedial, regular or honors track when you enrolled as a freshman, based on your grades in middle school. There also seemed to be a racial component, as all the white kids were in honors, except for two girls; a really ghetto cheerleader who wore dark makeup to try to look mixed-race, and a sports prodigy who did not talk much and was white and Native American. My school was about 85% black at the time, 11% white, and the rest exchange students and Asians.

>sophomore english class, high school
>reading My Antonia, its bland and uninteresting
>reading at a snails pace, a chapter or two a day... teacher is stretching this book out over two weeks wtf?
>supposed to be reading two chapters in class, nothing else, no lecture, nothing.
>do math homework instead
>Teacher comes by; "Why aren't you doing the reading assignment?"
>"I read it last night, this book is not very interesting, so I just got it out of the way. It only took about three hours."
>Teacher; "You're lying, now put your homework away and start reading."
>"I'm not lying, I'll take any quizzes or tests you have on this material right now if you want."
>"Go to the principal"
>at principals office, principal feels this is a waste of his time, tells me to finish my math homework and go to my next class.